Star Trek: Picard Season 2, Episode 1 - re:View

Your favorite Midwestern Morons™ are back! It's Mike and Rich here to complain about their favorite complain to complain about Star Trek: Picomplain! Will they likes it? Was they hate it? Don't it matter? Nobody will remember this show in a year after the bombs fall and we all hunt each other for food and shelter.

[@HickoryBill]

More anticipated than Star Trek Picard season 2: some guys talking about Star Trek Picard season 2

[@Trevin_Taylor]

I wish this wasn’t true.

[@herbiehusker1889]

Some guys? Why how dare you call famous celebrities like Rich Evans just some guy.

[@LN997-i8x]

Thank god Mike and Rich are sitting through Picard Season 2 so we don't have to.

[@joahheyya7226]

...by far

[@durkadurka2323]

I will never watch Picard, but I will certainly watch this

[@jardelelias5625]

I bet when Allison Pill said "I'm half in the bag, anyway." Mike pointed at the TV like DiCaprio.

[@WastedPotential17]

They said the thing! I clapped when I heard it! Very cool.

[@wayfarin]

There's no chance the Picard writers don't watch RLM, change my mind.

[@Nullpersona]

I like to believe the writers are actually clueless, and are truly grateful for the guidance these reviews provide. This show is a big part of why I still watch Picard.

[@ignacius8466]

The Jay off camera laughter always brings joy to my soul.

[@HI-hr5up]

I love how they will never stop trying to drag Jay into ST shit he gives two shits about.

[@ephin3242]

It really does just double the funny when he’s off camera

[@Hemostat]

If I didn't have the subtitle when he was laughing I would've thought that was a freaky door closing

[@mattklinghamer370]

Would have been funny if after all the explanation, he just said “I don’t care.”

[@emhu2594]

The best part was when he immediately turned the lights off.

[@farfetchleek9821]

Growing up, my dad wasn't really around, but Jean-Luc Picard taught me everything I needed to know to become a man. He was basically my dad. But after watching season 1 of Picard, I think it's time to put dad in a home.

[@fartquaviasdingle7876]

Me but with Spider-Man

[@MKULTRA1701]

In fact, on his next birthday Patrick Stewart will be the oldest human being in recorded history at 145 years young.

[@elduderino1635]

I thought, after watching season 01, you realized, that you were becoming A WOMAN?!

[@caitfitz8029]

😫😫😹

[@fartquaviasdingle7876]

@Cristo Alba I'm so glad I clinged onto Spider-Man as a kid. His morals deadass raised me as a wee man. Only issue is everything is my fault in my mind.

[@PatTheBatmanFan]

Totally unbelievable episode. There’s no way men of Rich and Mike’s age and physical condition could possibly survive such drastic temperature changes.

[@thomasdurrant2313]

The alcohol in Mike's bodily tissues helped to insulate him by thermo-cocooning his cells. Rich is already in terrible pain and did not notice.

[@ninjalokust]

Lets be real, with this episode we can hope that at some point we will get a new star trek quiz show where Jay will finally beat Mike and donate all his money to pregnant dolphins child care costs.

[@fileformat_png]

you forget the fact that they're in wisconsin, temperature changes like this are normal

[@than217]

@@fileformat_png Just like keeping dry ice in a freezer will damage the freezer which is so much warmer, Wisconsin being placed into a Frozen-Over-Hell actually reduces the temperature in the Frozen-Over-Hell which is too comparatively warm.

[@djnorth2020]

Mike's so drunk he's not feeling anything. But Rich Evans is ACTING his heart out! He's in severe pain the whole episode but he's such a good actor none of it is showing. His salary must be six figures.

[@svensorensen7693]

"Picard's mother is the Borg" Dang it Rich, that's just stupid enough to be true. "Does Patrick Stewart think he's an action guy" This is his "Black tank top" project, yes.

[@TheWhippingPost]

Taken has made fifteen different Taken spinoffs and remakes, so there is no age limit to being an action guy like Taken

[@SlartiMarvinbartfast]

Star Trek: Picard is basically Patrick Stewart's badly written vanity project.

[@sexycenturion7074]

Patrick Stewart: I want to be in a love story because I want to experience some of that WAP that people have being talking about. Magneto: Is that what they saaayyy.

[@saftpackerl]

First Contact was his purple tank top project...

[@meatpuppet5036]

Picards are the new Skywalkers, everything revolves around them. Series will end with Shoji Picard leading Starfleet.

[@pawned79]

The best thing about mishandled tonally-inappropriate Star Trek shows is that I get to see more of Mike and Rich Evans talk about Star Trek.

[@dasjinga]

I don't even watch the show, I just love watching them hate themselves over it.

[@MisteRRYouTuby]

The clips of that announcer dude speaking to Alex Klutzmann is the epitome of the uncanny valley…

[@captainbube1217]

@@MisteRRYouTuby it literally looks like a cut from a black mirror episode.

[@MisteRRYouTuby]

@@captainbube1217 33:44. To confirm your statement.

[@captainbube1217]

@@MisteRRYouTuby thanks king!

[@JozefLucifugeKorzeniowski]

I love how Picard in the trailer says "to save the future we must repair the past" when TNG has multiple episodes about how ridiculously tricky, dangerous, and sometimes impossible it is to do that. Picard should be like "fuck that we're not trying that shit again, I was 30 years younger and had a cabinet of officers who were geniuses when we attempted that and we still fucked it up".

[@Albtraum_TDDC]

Oh no, it's going to be another stupid time travel plot. I hate time travel, such a lazy writer's trick to surprise the audience. Because of the paradox they can pick whatever choice they please. And also it makes it so nothing matters, anything can change in some future episode, when they time travel to fix it, if the writers want. So Lame! Time Travel almost ruined the far superior (that Star Trek and all others) Babylon 5 too. But they handled it pretty well there. Instead of affecting the current plot, they just made it a tongue in cheek wink to the past events that we never really see.

[@nektulosnewbie]

@@Albtraum_TDDC it didn't originally. The end of the series was going to be the Shadows winning and Sinclair going back in time to then previous war to win it more decisively so they weren't as strong. That is what's seen when Sheridan bounces around time and see B5 overwhelmed. After that the time travel was going to book end the series as Sinclair goes back once the second war is fought to be there for the first but the actor had to leave the series and Sheridan got brought in allowing that resolution to happen mid series when Sinclair was healthy enough to briefly return.

[@Albtraum_TDDC]

@@nektulosnewbie that sounds awful. Got any proof/links?

[@nektulosnewbie]

@@Albtraum_TDDC No, it's kicking around the internet about it's development. There was also another early ending where Sinclair wins the war, then retires to a planet to fish alone shunned and unnoticed by a lot of people which developed into the later ideas introduced with Sebastion's testing of Delenn and Sheridan to see they were doing it out of a desire for fame and glory.

[@Albtraum_TDDC]

@@nektulosnewbie there's a lot of made up stuff (lies) around the internet. I'm not buying this. M. J. S. is trying to make a reboot /remake so we'll see how that goes.

[@jeremysmith4620]

When "not beheading people" is the best character growth achieved in the series, you know Kurtzman was behind it.

[@hansmuchler8088]

Not currently beading people.

[@Howlrunner82]

There's still time to behead some😉

[@Welcome2TheInternet]

Wait until the Borg Queen takes the mask off and it's Burnham's Mom with a sword.

[@plastefuchs666]

@@Welcome2TheInternet Which is also Janeway

[@chrisbaker8533]

@@plastefuchs666 The worst part, that would make sense in this time line. I so want to be another time line.

[@Nuvizzle]

"Didn't totally 100% completely hate it" is a pretty big step up for this series.

[@gibberconfirm425]

I cringed when drunk chick said "half in the bag", I didn't even watch Season 1 but watched all this shit. I gave episode a chance, I'll try episode 2. Let's do some Star Trek type shit and an homage to "All Good Things," no-brainers, not everybody on writing team idiotic and if they are, fire them like Gene Roddenberry would have, please.

[@benc.5558]

Not really, that's every nuTrek season premiere. We'll have 2-3 episodes of setting up mysteries ("this doesn't look great but let's see where they're going with this") followed by 3-5 episodes of meandering plot threads that go nowhere or redundantly re-establish things that have already been established ("oh no, this is looking bad"), then 2-3 episodes that breathlessly bring things to a rushed conclusion that's somehow even dumber and more underwhelming than you could have predicted ("well, that sucked, and even the parts that didn't seem to suck at the time now retroactively suck"). Remember the Sonic Cycle? It's like that.

[@MisteRRYouTuby]

@@benc.5558 33:44. As confirmation.

[@benc.5558]

@@MisteRRYouTuby God, Wheaton looks so dead inside.

[@MisteRRYouTuby]

@@benc.5558 His voice didn’t reach maturity either…

[@edibleapeman2]

“The giant whale in space turns out to be Picard’s mother.” Wrap it up, gents, we’re done here.

[@jamesphillips4599]

I’m also surprised they didn’t address why in the flashback with mom, Picard is dressed like a 1930’s paperboy. He was a kid like 50 years after Kirk/Spock and yet in his early 24th century Napa Valley (I mean FRENCH) vineyard home why is he sporting a derby cap and 30’s pantaloons?

[@Bacxaber]

@@jamesphillips4599 Because French lol.

[@duanebarry2817]

@@jamesphillips4599 And how come Picard had hair in the flashback? Picard has never had hair. Never.

[@MichaelNNY]

Oh she came back as the giant crystalline entity later on. And before that Im pretty sure she was the Doomsday Machine in the original series.

[@parabot2]

@@MichaelNNY Pickards in now a Robot , why does he even care , and why the hell is he eating and drinking stuff ? So Cringe .

[@milton7763]

Can you imagine working as a bartender for 700 years

[@GoatgutsRecords]

Yeah

[@mixmastermurphy]

A fate worse than death

[@JohnDoe-z2r]

I cannot

[@GavinScrimgeour]

Better than being a host on The View

[@sgcandrewkard]

The fact when Q said "let me catch up" then snapped his fingers, and he didn't turn into a menards halloween skeleton is the greatest missed joke in TV history.

[@Hegataro]

I said to myself when they showed that scene "he should've turned into a comical skeleton" Because it's something that Q would do

[@Ryan-ob6gp]

stop suggesting much better ideas that would have redeemed the entire second season no matter where it ends up

[@captainunderpants200]

Pro tip: Kurtzman has no sense of humour. Nor dramatic timing, nor scientific consistency, nor any kind of common sense whatsoever.

[@Ryan-ob6gp]

@@captainunderpants200 Even reveal of Q just felt off. Held way too long on Picard's slow turn reaction, Q firing off old familiar lines off camera by himself at the end of the hall, followed by a hamfisted 'you're older than i imagined'. Aiming for a fan service dramatic reveal and just feeling like a fan film that doesn't understand how to shoot a scene.

[@Ryan-ob6gp]

Well there's no accounting for taste. I'm saying the writing and the cuts felt blunt and unnatural - it's not a feeling one gets watching well-produced content by editors and filmmakers who understand how to execute scenes. That nag in your head that takes you out of it and makes you think 'what was the deal with that cut'. I'm perfectly happy to acknowledge that not all viewers require the same degrees of nuance from their content.

[@EthanHeathen]

Will Wheaton calling it the golden age of star trek was 100% written for him.

[@Corbomite_Meatballs]

I'd call now the "golden age for humanity" if the paycheck was large enough.

[@johnfinnan5383]

Wil lost all geek cred a long time ago. A long time... Now, he is more shill than man.

[@shaggycan]

So cringe. I think I cringed so hard I got a foot cramp.

[@SuperFlawless2010]

Did his character die in TNG? I think he also wants to be cast back on Picard lol. Unless they already cameo'd him this season.

[@Beer_Dad1975]

He sounds utterly unhinged.

[@ParalayGER]

1. Next episode Agnes will order a drink in an alien bar called "Best of the worst" 2. They will call Picard's Borg-queen-mother's tentacles "Black spines" 3. They will choose their destination by spinning a wheel

[@Samuraipeter74]

Rich really hit the nail on the head about missing how everyone on STTNG was mature, and was actually a professional at their position. It was more edifying to see how they would solve problems and get out of scrapes than watching "I'm all messed up" people do it on Picard.

[@bigddannyflynn-filmmaker5694]

I never ever ever ever bought Raffi as someone of such high competence that they could be Picards first officer after Riker.

[@compmanio36]

@@gsofficial Welcome to the NEXT generation after the next generation. Insufferable zealots indoctrinated with lies and propaganda, that only know how to destroy and hate, they are incapable of creating.

[@ShadowSonic2]

@@bigddannyflynn-filmmaker5694 You never watched TOS then, with all the dysfunctional Officers in that show.

[@scottfitzpatrick1939]

Yep. This is killing me too. Can the adults return to star trek please?

[@ShadowSonic2]

@@scottfitzpatrick1939 Ugh, you never watched TOS did you?

[@rockchalk4815]

I adore the moments in Re:Views and HitB when Mike pulls out and dramatically unfolds his Piece of Paper With Notes On It™️

[@forlornfuture2630]

And the guys still act surprised every time. Mike is just old school cool

[@henrique5231]

Someday those pieces of paper will be held in more value than the very own Declaration of Independence.

[@rockchalk4815]

@@henrique5231 oh shit what if Nic Cage steals them

[@Zilch616]

I clapped, I clapped when I saw it!

[@Taurusus]

"I'm over a thousand Picard, eventually time comes even for me." Done. Even flowered it up a bit to make it Guinan-y.

[@kenten]

well done! yeah, no reason aging can't accelerate closer to the end. though she hasn't aged that much, they really didn't need to mention it at all.

[@billbrasky527]

Oh, snap bro! She could have used, "Time is the fire in which we burn.". A line from another of her race from ST: Generations.

[@Slimebeast]

"We age slowly, but we still age." Trying to find the quickest way to say it that isn't crap. Plus, there's a little sass in it.

[@Edmures_rampant_manhood]

She doesn't even look that much older, she just got fat. These writers still managed to choose the worst solution for basically a non problem.

[@Welcome2TheInternet]

@@Edmures_rampant_manhood "My race have thyroid problems too Picard". Done.

[@vveles]

Mike and Rich are actively shortening their lifespans through prolonged exposure to Picard just so they can review it for us. I appreciate your sacrifice.

[@ElbenGateGaming]

Hopefully talking about it here is therapeutic for them and lessens the impact Picard has on them.

[@Abrasax1984]

Now if Picard wore a black tank top at some point in the season, things would start to make much more sense...

[@JozefLucifugeKorzeniowski]

They're really doing the people behind the show a favor. Why keep consuming something that has only made you feel bad in the past? Their love for star trek and the goodwill bought by TNG and DS9 must be immense. I've personally lost all trust in all TV/Movie studios to make anything good since the last movie or TV show that enthralled me is 7 years old now and most everything since then has actually enraged me by how derivative, stupid, or patronizing it's been. I'm a stupid idiot but how stupid they assume the average consumer is is monstrous. This stuff is like baby specific shows with lots of cool noises and colors but the baby is an adult and literate.

[@saberiandream316]

@@JozefLucifugeKorzeniowski To me, Star Trek ended after DS9.

[@Dale_The_Space_Wizard]

You know that you have serious problems with your show when the fans enjoy watching the Red Letter Media review more than the actual episode.

[@ShadowSonic2]

The "fans" who like these bozos are the ones who aren't actual Trek fans.

[@Dale_The_Space_Wizard]

@@ShadowSonic2 I'm an actual Star Trek fan. However, we just have to accept that all the new stuff is utter crap.

[@ShadowSonic2]

@@Dale_The_Space_Wizard You sound like the "fans" who tried to get TNG canceled in 1987.

[@Dale_The_Space_Wizard]

@@ShadowSonic2 I didn't try and get the Next Generation cancelled in 1987. I was still a child and really enjoyed the show. It was a good series, unlike the utter crap like Discovery and Picard. Only a complete idiot could possibly like such rubbish.

[@jetvoidweller]

@@ShadowSonic2 You sounds like a salty stan and can't deal with any kinda negative opinion

[@PurpleCowMan]

Genuinely surprised Guinan didn't say "When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not." because Kurtzman doest even know what franchise he's running.

[@stevenlannister184]

"No Jean Luc, I AM your mother!"

[@charlesjmouse]

It's awful to think that would have been better.

[@TheSolidSnakeOil]

I have no intention of ever watching Kurtzman Trek but I will always make time to watch Mike and Rich talk about it.

[@stevej71393]

I think the most depressing thing about Star Trek's decline is that its whole premise is based on an idealistic and well thought out version of the future, and yet each new iteration is more unimaginative and careless with the source material than before. It's like a cruel irony.

[@charlottecorday8494]

Yeah but they virtue signal about the diversity it always had so now it's the best show ever

[@trazyntheinfinite9895]

Well thought out? But nobody explained why Harry Kim got a High Rise Apartment. Why did he get it? Can anybody have one? Because To Paris did not ha e one. Who decides that in a society without money? Hm? Why does Picard get to own wineyard? Can you explain that? Not everyone can have one after all. Star trek wisely avoided going into details because the writers knew that gbis premise was the most bizarely utopian of all.

[@awandererfromys1680]

The cruel irony is that old Trek like DS9 handled things like the trauma and guilt of war, refugees, discrimination etc, a whole lot better than this 'nEw GoLdEn AgE.' The idealistic utopia of Star Trek often served as a framework to criticize our modern society. But with the wholesome, optimistic message 'we can be better!' The new iterations seem to totally flip that upside down. They deconstruct those ideals through the lens of modern-day cynicism and nihilism. Almost as if it's a joke. I mean, have you noticed in how many new series the Federation is one of the main antagonists? They've become the boring 'evil government' trope, including all the boring conspiracies and whatnot. It's just generic dystopian scifi now.

[@awandererfromys1680]

@@trazyntheinfinite9895 They have magic wish-granting machines called replicators. That and almost unlimited power are the foundations on which their post-scarcity society is build.

[@zac8670]

@@trazyntheinfinite9895 I agree, they haven't really gone into too great of detail on how the near utopia is really handled. They do have some fundamental elements in place, and they do point towards a merit based society in a lot of ways. I'm sure this has been greatly discussed and argued by people more qualified than either of us. But infinite food, insane electrical power, robots to carry out most work, expanding to other planets to have less scarce resources, and sharing technology with other species and civilizations. That can account for a whole lot, imo, or be a dark dystopia like most modern sci-fi is. Either way, it's fiction, and the structure of the Federation is a huge basis to the stories that have been told.

[@Meinfuhrerhoffman]

I wish Guinan would have said "When 900 years old, you reach… Look as good, you will not.”

[@TheMostWanted92]

Oh boy, more Star Trek talk! I have zero intention of ever watching it, but I love listening to Mike and Rich discuss Star Trek. MORE! MORE! MORE PLEASE!

[@NCRRanger7753]

Same here lol, I've run through the Trek talk playlist multiple times and wasn't expecting, but was hopeful for this.

[@Grom-rl8bm]

I love watching star trek when it involves walking past someone else watching it and I catch bits and pieces, other than that I can't sit through it

[@beermarshal2070]

I watched Season 1 solely because they were reviewing it. I've watched probably 1/3 of the films they've covered on BOTW - every one of them was more entertaining than any episode of Picard. The review-to-item under review quality ratio was even higher here than it was for the Plinkett reviews of the prequels.

[@GeekMasterGames]

Don't watch new trek. Watch most of TNG and DS9 instead.

[@willard39]

It's more fun if you do. You can scoff at the show and laugh with the boys.

[@comicpop]

Q could literally snap his fingers and swap robot Picard with real Picard, and you know they won't do it.

[@matthewrudolph8667]

Alas, even Q cannot shrink Picard's massive prostate

[@zizoumonk10]

I’m guessing the whole time travel thing will end up with Picard getting his real human prostate back

[@svensorensen7693]

"oh, Jean Luc, there's something different about you, is that a new haircut?" "What do you want, Q?" "Oh, dear me, that artificial heart of yours took over and now you're fully synthetic! I didn't realize humans had that level of technology. Or maybe it was your time with the Borg?" "Get out of my house, Q!" "Now is that any way to greet an old friend? I can fix that, you know, give you your old body back, warts and all" This stuff writes itself. Of course, they won't do it, since they're talentless hacks that don't actually care what the fans want.

[@dr.s8972]

"Some part of robot Picard imprinted itself onto real Picard"

[@waluigiyaoi6246]

In old Star Trek there would’ve been an episode about who was the real Picard and if the robot Picard was just as much the same man or a unique person

[@paulgallagher5889]

I love that you guys make it possible for me to NEVER watch these shows and yet EXPERIENCE them so vividly!

[@davfree9732]

Truly, they are a force of boomer good in this world.

[@sneakyking]

Yes. I would not touch these in any way. ... But I feel the hate and disappointment for them due to RML...thank you RLM

[@boblum3360]

if you can get for free you should watch to know these reviews are true. unfortunately you cannot un-see something, like a train wreck

[@_keerp]

They have saved me a lot of money, I used to go to the movie theater like twice per month to see all the shitty movies, now since I've discovered RLM, I go maybe once a year.

[@Preserbius]

Wil Wheaton giving the performance of his life in that interview

[@Duncan_Idaho_Potato]

One of the very, very few things I was impressed by in The Force Awakens was Harrison Ford's return as Han Solo. When an actor returns to a role they haven't played in many years, it often feels like they've "lost" the character and they're just playing their idealized version of said character. Han Solo in TFA looks, sounds, and feels like Han Solo. Picard in Star Trek: Picard looks, sounds, and feels like... Patrick Stewart. Can you imagine the "real" Picard and Guinan squeeze-hugging like that, no matter how long it had been since their last meeting? No, of course not. Because that's not Picard and Guinan, that's just Patrick and Whoopi, and it shows.

[@turbografx16]

Hit the nail on the head.

[@snavs420]

I still maintain that the funniest scene in the new trilogy is when Finn says with a dumbest grin "We can use the force!" and Han replies "THAT'S NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS!!!" It was kind of pitch perfect, actually.

[@craighicksartwork]

Correct.

[@kyleowsen]

That's the difference between when you lure someone into a project by giving them creative control vs luring them in with a giant dump truck full of money.

[@NicholasBrakespear]

...Really? I mean, each to their own. But I think you should watch Empire Strikes Back again, and compare Han Solo in that, to Han in TFA. Han in TFA is a bit of a buffoon, who no longer has the commanding, almost threatening presence he had in Empire, and whose writing depicts him as a total failure of a man who screwed up his relationships and ended up resetting himself to a state earlier and inferior to that of his arc's conclusion in the original trilogy. He goes from being a respected "natural leader", as Leia puts it, to somebody's loser uncle who never really grew up. I mean, he was a badass in Empire; charming when he wanted to be, a "scoundrel" when he thought it would work, and utterly ice-cold and focused when he needed to be. The dude had a presence.

[@childofnature4402]

Almost shed a tear when this popped up. I had lost all hope in you covering Nu Trek.

[@TheAngelbase]

#almostbutterflytear

[@atlanta2076]

CBS sh*te Trek is way too bad to go unpunished by RLM.

[@glitchedoom]

Would you say you shed butterfly tears?

[@joahheyya7226]

Yeah it's awesome if they do non obscure stuff

[@meatrace]

I also shed a tear for Star Trek. RIP Star Trek, 1966-2005.

[@rugnargaming]

I love the “Two elderly men grumble about an even elderlier Man” show. I didn’t think it would air this soon.

[@MrVisitorQ]

They have to hurry before the captain tips his hat.

[@winetofive1464]

I'm just waiting for their transformation into Statler and Waldorf to become complete. This show accelerated that process dramatically.

[@gspendlove]

I love the concept that Jay is just sorta hanging around offscreen in Hell.

[@gustafsone]

He's probably always around nearby during these episodes with Mike and Rich. Somebody has to be taking care of the cameras and sound levels and whatnot.

[@Edward-Not-Elric]

He's holding a little pitchfork and wearing a red leotard.

[@Peekul1]

Oh my god. I almost died of laughter with the Patrick Stewart video "Because he's still alive and his life is continuing." You got that right, Sir Patrick.

[@stargazerspark4499]

and the paychecks

[@parallax9281]

Trek is due, for a next NEXT generation.. Smh..😆

[@ktrav808]

At this point, you should just have Jay sitting in this discussion just to watch his eyes glaze over.

[@NothingIsKnown00]

I think Jay actually enjoys all the disturbing sex scenes in New Trek.

[@GhettoFabulousLorch]

Just alternate still shots with bored shots.

[@RecklessFables]

Tied to his chair

[@comradeconrad]

It would be pretty funny if they had him sit in the middle in complete silence and never once acknowledged him.

[@NothingIsKnown00]

@@comradeconrad ...Until they needed to ask him something. Then they would, as usual, look past the camera and go "RIIIICH? Are you there?"

[@spookypen]

36:13 It's good to be reminded every once in a while how insufferable Wil Wheaton is.

[@Trekkie626]

My god, he's such a boot licker

[@was100ify]

It's embarrassing really

[@Warhammered]

Shill Sheaton.

[@mind4lease554]

Shut up Westley

[@pettyofficerdan1807]

Why? The guy is a has-been. He was on one show 25 or 30 years ago, then faded off into obscurity. If he didn't do a cameo on 'Big Bang Theory,' we wouldn't even remember him. His life is playing 'Risk' and 'Monopoly' with family and friends, and making little KZbin videos of it. How do you know or care about some D-list nobody ex-actor?

[@ace0ecra]

I like how Patrick Stewart pretty much just explained why he himself is still making art, "Because he's still alive and his life is continuing."

[@shanepye7078]

Woopie saying “When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not” Would have been better than what we got. 😂

[@AgentFlea]

Lmfao. Reading that almost made me cross-eyed

[@DavidBehlman]

meme it

[@GeorgeMonet]

But she looked fine the last time we saw her and she was 700.

[@jasongamer8649]

Can her race also control their weight to fit in better? Cause she fits right in with people of Wal-Mart at this point. Shoulda cgi her lmao

[@weregretohio7728]

I love how they try to convince us that a golden age is putting out as much content for as much profit as possible. It doesn't have to be good. Don't ask questions, get ready to consume more product. Clap a bit at the references, pay your 7 streaming services, pretend you're happy with your life.

[@GarretGrayCamera]

A lot of this “golden Age” are shows like from the past dressed up with good cinematography (which is and cheaper nowadays) and “drama” based around people with disturbed backgrounds that pretend to be deep. Very few shows are actually any good. I think you hit the nail on the head.

[@saberiandream316]

The golden age claims are just spin-doctor. Homogenization of the arts is stifling creativity and it's leaving many longtime fans jaded and unhappy.

[@GarretGrayCamera]

@@saberiandream316 True. Though I’m enjoying the cycle of badly made shows that help to create quality entertainment like these guys who pick the shows apart.

[@zarreff]

Theres a book titled "Infinite Jest" that predicted the rise of a streaming services. The Writer lamented on loss of true human interaction. He later killed himself in real life.

[@frozenbinarystudio]

It begs the question If this is the Golden Age, what was it when it was good?

[@insanusmaximus2857]

Mike and Rich are literally the only things I like about Star Trek these days.

[@peteyoung3124]

Same here. I want Picard and Discovery to be canceled along with any other plans they have. HOWEVER, as long as they're gonna do the shows, I wanna see Mike and Rich shit on these terrible shows.

[@whom382]

Hey, Lower Decks is an actual decent Star Trek show.

[@twocansams6335]

Waiting for the new season of "the orville"

[@jacquiecotillard9699]

As RLM continues to flourish, I love that they’ve used the independence they’ve kept over the years as creators to just force themselves to have miserable experiences

[@brycewinters3371]

After hearing Wil Wheaton say "how does it feel to be at the forefront of the new golden age of Star Trek?" I actually became nauseated. I loved Star Trek in the 90's because it was full of hope, thought provoking, with good writing and amazing characters. They took everything I loved about it and ground it down into a fine powder so it's indistinguishable from any other grim dark sci-fi that has existed for the last decade and removed anything that wasn't mindless phasers and explosions. An hour in TNG was dedicated to exploring sentience while JJ Abrams dedicated an hour to removing any need of having starships at all and curing death while cramming in enough explosions and lens flares to leave the unprepared totally blind. The only thought provoked by this new golden age of Star Trek is wondering how often do they need to clean their own shit off of Gene Roddenberry's grave.

[@ShadowSonic2]

So in other words, you're mad that Trek kept up with what the general audiences wanted in their stuff now?

[@Kyle-sr6jm]

"So in other words, you're mad that Trek kept up with what the audiences MENTAL DECLINE now?" Fixed that for you.

[@ShadowSonic2]

@@Kyle-sr6jm That's what the audience wants, its what it gets. Look at how HBO has to insert sex and violence into nearly everything it does to appear "Highbrow".

[@ShadowSonic2]

@@raijinmeister It's better than anything Seth McFarlane did for the Orville.

[@dbsommers1]

Hit google translate. It comes up as really meaning, "I want a paycheck. Please hire me."

[@anonimuso]

Nu-Trek finally made me understand what O'Brien meant in "The Wounded" when he told the Cardassian: "It's not you I hate, Cardassian. I hate what I became because of you". I hate the type of Trek fan that I've become because of shit like Discovery and Picard.

[@melinabobina1503]

“Jay, Jay, are you around?” 😂😂😂 I love how they bring Jay in the discussion. We need more of Jay’s input in these discussions!

[@matthewsmith3078]

Know what I miss from TNG? Not having dramatic music all the time and the sound of the ship’s engines in the background. And still camera shots. And meaningful conversations. And conferences with the crew where they try to figure out the best decision to move forward with.

[@breadguyyy]

and lighting without 20 layers of post processing

[@BeetsBeetsBeetsBeets]

Well we got other shows for that now like...

[@xStarblazer]

Yup, still camera shots is so overlooked. I was thinking about why new Trek just feels off to me, almost like a parody, and the constant, incessant movement of the camera even in the most mundane of scenes with just someone talking really grinds my gears. That constant panning around drives me crazy. Once you notice it you can’t stop. Why do they do this? I imagine it’s just some fancy filming technique to create “dynamism” to increase the tension or pace, presumably because they think we have 5 second attention spans, but it’s fucking irritating. Stop it. Just film a new series exactly as Star Trek until Enterprise was filmed, slow it down by like 75% and make it more cerebral with combat as a last resort and I’ll be happy. But that’s never going to happen so Voyager (and Enterprise but I didn’t watch it much) was the last real feeling Trek to me. Just because you can do something (CGI everything and less practical, fancier camera angles, lazier filmmaking removing stuff in post) doesn’t mean you should. When that one battle scene from Wrath of Khan decades ago is more gripping than the entirety of Picard and Discovery combined…there’s a problem. (Tbh this is the same for all IPs from Jurassic Park to Star Wars)

[@aluminumape]

Picard's mom being the Borg Queen is truly a Big Dumb, so that's sadly the route they'll probably take. There is, however, another possibility: when Picard was assimilated and became Locutus, the Borg gained access to his mind. It's entirely possible that the Borg, legitimately in dire straits and looking to negotiate, pulled this from Picard's mind to use as some sort of gesture of sincerity. It's not very probable, but it is possible.

[@UserNamesFull]

So much better than it really being his mother. At some point, Chabon has to get back to Calypso level stuff.

[@kikoitanhas]

That's exactly what I thought, I think you're right!

[@TheBlackwolf5011]

oh come on. they didn't watch the original series. the only borg knowledge they have is from watching the trailer for a movie. the show is too dumb for your vastly superior idea. honestly feels like any fan could write better. shit dude, apply as a writer. they may be hiring.

[@alexsilva28]

See the problem with your theory is that it assumes the writers have a minimum understanding of the source material and aren't, well, talentless hacks

[@MegaZeta]

@@TheBlackwolf5011 Judging from fan criticism of the last season, the only way to end up with a _worse_ written version of _Picard_ would be to entrust it to "any fan". One of the biggest problems with _Picard_ and _Discovery_ is endless obsessing over the franchise's past; most "fans" want *_more_* of that.

[@Eifion]

I think Rich is half right when it comes to the twist about Picard's mom. I'm putting my bet more on Starfleet being the one to kidnap his mom for something RELATED to the Borg so the show can do some "are humans the real monsters?" message.

[@darkpuppetlordful]

His mom was a borg queen who chose to quit, and the Federation put her back into the super borg cube

[@ninboy01]

Picard’s mother was a researcher in Section 31 and created the Borg.

[@ninjalokust]

And think about this, Q was the person to introduce Picard to the Borg all the way back in the day. What if Q is actually Picards dad?

[@Eifion]

Oh now I thought of something dumber thanks to reading your comments, what if she was part of some experiments to control people who became part of the Borg and the only reason she's this new Super Borg is because Picard became part of the hivemind?

[@Coramelimane]

And the answer is "yes. *Cis White Men* are the real monsters."

[@BradenENelson]

"I Absolutely Fucking Hate Myself" FINALLY!!! ... A show for me.

[@ninjalokust]

The most fitting title for this decade possible.

[@coreyappleby]

The look on Mike’s face as he lets the pain of Rich’s prediction wash over him is just exquisite. 8:59

[@petermorris981]

And then 39:23 when it finally sinks in 😩 class!

[@somestudentguy]

Oh god, I think he's right though. Dumb dumb dumbbbbb. Mike's face is fucking hilarious though.

[@hellspawnedhero1123]

Gotta love a smile of pain. Okay

[@BeerdyBruceLeeCentral]

The only reason, literally the only reason I watch Star Trek Picard is so I can watch these videos afterwards and laugh my ass off.

[@radim279]

I do that as well, only without watching Star Trek Picard

[@Tuning3434]

@@radim279 yup

[@gibberconfirm425]

It's already bad, just watched Episode 2. Straight rip-off of "Mirror, Mirror" even though every other Trek show has also ripped off "Mirror, Mirror," I almost couldn't believe it was happening. Except instead of Evil Spock, 7 of 9 has an Indonesian husband, or something. It's mind-boggling, stay tuned for Mike and Rich to go to town.

[@BeerdyBruceLeeCentral]

@@radim279 Watching the show makes it more funny.

[@chilicheesepanda1089]

Gotta say. They are pretty good even without watching watching it

[@eatingchaos]

I immediately caught the Half in the Bag reference, and wondered if there one true fan in the writer's room who's always wanted to work on Star Trek and now hates himself, and sent it up as a cry for help.

[@pinkimietz3243]

100% that's it.

[@sir0nion]

One true fan. Wants to write Star Trek. Stuck in the writers room. He may hate himself. They just might all hate themselves. Writes an SOS into the script. RLM fans recognize it. SEND IN THE KILL SQUAD!

[@TheGameBroswithSirhcandAr0n]

Watch out for a line where someone says "these mercenaries are the Best of the Worst, they can behead more people than a Romulan ninja"

[@seanfager8063]

"This patch job warp drive they gave us is the worst, we might as well be rolling around on wheels instead!"

[@dr.strangelove4450]

In the background there will be an old man watching Night Court on his recently repaired vcr.

[@demyelinated_ditz]

Bringing Q back was their last chance to convince me they have their hearts in the right place and they blew it by not having Q take Picard to Equestria to learn about the magic of friendship

[@trazyntheinfinite9895]

Stop trying to sow Discord now.

[@DarkWizard83]

I just know Q's going to say something along the lines of "Oh come now, Picard, you're the closest thing to a friend I have! And you and I both know that friendship is magic!"

[@demyelinated_ditz]

@@DarkWizard83 I was holding out a sliver of hope for Q showing up with the ear trumpet from All Good Things, Picard being irate, Q saying how that’s no way to treat a friend and how Fluttershy doesn’t mind when he just drops by for tea, something about Picard liking equines and needing to be more animated in his old age, then taking Picard to learn a lesson about friendship in the most epic crossover event in cinematic history

[@ThelronFjord]

Or how to cause an airplane disaster over Albuquerque.

[@ccdecker]

@@trazyntheinfinite9895 i see what you did there.

[@xoeleox2079]

I sometimes forget Star Trek and Star Wars are owned by different corporate entities. It's bizarre watching two separate media conglomerates mismanage their beloved science fantasy properties in almost the exact same way at almost the exact same time. Anyway, congrats to anyone who read this. You've officially outlived both!

[@jmac4952]

Mismanaged on purpose.

[@an_oracle]

The funniest thing on earth to me is "To save the future... we must repair the past" Which is hilarious because the comedy internet series Red vs Blue had that same line: "To save the future we must fix the past!" as a hook for one of their seasons, with it being an ongoing joke about how dumb of an idea it is

[@Horatio787]

That's also the premise of Time Squad.

[@kingsleycy3450]

Sonic for hire did the same thing, the joke being that the writers were completely out of ideas.

[@Duker_Dude]

I can't believe Rich initiated this. I was half expecting this video to start and Mike to be holding him at gunpoint to review S2 with him, not the other way around.

[@coreysierchio4650]

"They are breaking new ground!"

[@DeRockMedia]

its more like Mikes character from Smiling Friends holding a gun to his own head ready to shoot himself

[@jayhayhay5124]

Rich is initiating psychological warfare on Mike.

[@jpn8959]

Stockholm syndrome.

[@AmazingThor]

Rich’s mix of horror and awe when Mike pulls out the Borg Queen doll is priceless

Rich looks like he cured his crippling diabetes. Will Rich lose his ability to be funny?

[@AaronPoston]

In case this hasn’t been pointed out, the shot of “other lady” playing the Borg Queen in Voyager is also Alice Krige. She came back for the Voyager finale.

[@vaclav4435]

Mike was probably thinking of Susanna Thompson, who played the Queen in "Dark Frontier" and "Unimatrix Zero".

[@AaronPoston]

@@vaclav4435 Yeah, that’s what I’m assuming.

[@jaksida300]

Gee I sure hope someone was fired for that blunder!

[@HI-hr5up]

@@jaksida300 Jay received 30 lashes for the error.

[@wheeeeeha]

Jay: Giggity.

[@BaxterRockyHolly]

The clip shown of “other lady” in VOY - is actually from the final ep, Endgane. In which Alice Krige reprised the role 😬

[@coh2conscript851]

Hack frauds back at it again.

[@NaanProphet]

Regarding Guinan and aging, they should have said something more in line with the actual character. I feel like she'd say "happens to the best of us" and leave it at that. Bam, that's all you need. You address it but keep Guinan being somewhat mysterious.

[@CousinCreepy]

Good call! I wonder how they might explain her weight gain though? It's so unhealthy that you'd think it's an issue that would be controlled by science in the far future. Would the replicator be used to make doritos and cheesecake?

[@bogey780]

She looks mostly the same other than weight. Just say that she's lived a very interesting few years and it's harder to bounce back after you get past 500.

[@bigddannyflynn-filmmaker5694]

Or 'We don't live forever Jean-Luc...'

[@quzar]

@@CousinCreepy Typical replicators can't make poisons, so Doritos are out.

[@CousinCreepy]

@@quzar You're right! No munchies in the future - bummer!

[@trickykid73]

Why does Star Trek no longer go out to find new life and new civilisations anymore . Or even boldly go where no man has ever gone before :(

[@Edax_Royeaux]

Galactic treaty.

[@floydlooney6837]

It now identifies as a cat and poops in a litter tray

[@JosephDavies]

@@floydlooney6837 Grudge is a Queen.

[@Firevine]

"He's 100 years old, and an undead android" Enough about Patrick Stewart, what about Jean-Luc Picard?

[@Benjamoose]

I was surprised they didn't mention the part of the episode where the Captain of a Starfleet ship orders his bridge crew to stop firing on someone numerous times as comical amounts of extra crew with phasers come pouring out of the turbolift, ignoring him every single time. It was like something out of Police Squad.

[@leothompson2777]

And is he ever going to light that damn cigar!? Is it the last one in existence or what? Doesn't even put it down when the ship is seemingly under attack, so it must be precious....

[@Benjamoose]

​@@leothompson2777 I was honestly surprised they gave that a pass when mentioning it too. Like, it's weird enough to see people with cigars in a typical Star Trek context that isn't the holodeck or for some specific purpose, but the Captain of the ship to just be chilling with one on duty in his chair? I guarantee it's another lazy character development quirk. He probably does something like lighting it when he thinks he's going to die or something as a final hurrah. "I ain't smoking this until the fat lady sings". Similarly, Agnes getting drunk seemingly with real alcohol at some kind of diplomatic environment was equally annoying. Hardly someone in control of their vices and yet she's entrusted on the bridge to override the actual officers on duty. Of course she did murder a classic character with no repercussions, so I guess anything goes with her at this point. It's kind of like they said in the video I suppose. The bar is set so low with modern Trek at this point, that going an hour without pissing you off or insulting your intelligence is a huge deal, and you just sort of get numb to it.

[@thomaswedge42]

@@leothompson2777 I remember in TNG when they were transporting alien immigrants (who were Irish for some reason?) they attempted to start a fire in the Cargo Bay the Computer erected a force field around it and starved it of Oxygen. I presume the same thing would happen if he lit it. I suppose it could be his method of fighting the oral fixation that smokers often get when quitting, I know a lot of people start chewing gum to keep their mouth occupied.

[@DJMcFlinty]

@@thomaswedge42 pretty sure they were humans

[@MidlifeCrisisJoe]

@@DJMcFlinty They were humans. They were the descendants of human colonists who were Luddites trying to get away from technology (who ironically used space travel to find a planet without any technology on it I guess) who just also happened to be Irish for some reason (the actual reason was so the writers could use Irish stereotypes in the episode I guess). Which is important as they're the solution at the end of the episode when they run into another different batch of human colonists who embrace technology but their colony ship crashlanded and only like, 7 of them survived, so they've been cloning themselves ever since. The clone colony needed genetic diversity in their genepool or they'd just degenerate on some genetic level, and the Irish stereotypes needed a new home planet, so Picard just dumps the potato lovers on the clone world and they agree that every Mick can have 6 clone wives.

[@SumDumGy]

I love it when the guys over at RedLetterMedia imagine the stupidest series that could never be greenlit for production and then review it like it actually exists. What creative minds to come up with this concept and pull it off convincingly!!

[@cesarhernandez6861]

It's their new show: Worst of the Worst.

[@JediHan]

@@cesarhernandez6861 lol

[@seanm8030]

Noooo... Why are you doing this to yourselves. Why are you doing this to us? Oh that's right because it's fun.

[@-PVL93-]

It's the natural talent of a hack fraud like Mike and rich

[@trojoe]

You mean Picard?

[@C0n7ax]

I would gladly watch a 3 hour podcast of Jay and Jack talking about the making of and their expectations for the next Picard re:View episode before I watch any of the modern shows.

[@colinburroughs9871]

99% of modern gets this treatment

[@voltijuice8576]

Ooh yes, pack my jackard plox

[@markwallertu10]

Reminds me of the time I got perma banned from r/startrek because I said "no" to the new STD trailer hype... then was told to not be toxic and that disagreement wasn't respectful. I replied to the moderator how ST was about inclusion of different perspectives and of course that sealed my fate. Hahaha, glad I'm not burning in hell alone lol

[@saberiandream316]

I was banned for saying a race-swapped Captain Kirk is an insult to Sisko. They reveal their own racism under the guise of "fighting" racism.

[@compmanio36]

Burning in hell? You may be one of the few NOT. Lying is considered a sin, and the vast majority of people are not only lying about the quality of this show or the actors in it, they are lying to themselves about liking it.

[@O1OO1O1]

@@idontknow164 it will become fuel for the upcoming class war, comrade.

[@Regitron3000]

Lol a lot of people got banned on r/startrek when the Plinkett Picard review dropped. Mods started banning anyone who posted a link to the vid, then started banning people who were just talking about the vid.

[@O1OO1O1]

@@Regitron3000 haha, oh god. It's like a mirror universe. Nothing says "Star Trek fan" like totalitarianism and censorship.

[@Tetragrammaton22]

Wil Wheaton is the perfect representation of the consumer that current Star Trek (and basically all pop culture in general) loves to sell to.

[@uriiiiiii1584]

The souless Nerd Consoooomer I MUST CONSUUUUUM NUTREK!! 6 NEW SERIES!! IS THE NEW GOLDEN AGE!!!!

[@redundant6972]

He looks like live-action soyjak

[@NitroReviewsMN]

@@redundant6972 holy shit this is dead on lol

[@matthewryan6187]

The Funko pop consoomer

[@kirbyfan4]

Consider that Big Bang theory is what people think of when you see geek/nerd now and Wheaton loved to milk paychecks from that abysmal show with all the pop culture references, that makes a lot of sense

[@jaymontana2708]

Your ability to predict what will happen by simply asking the question "what's the stupidest fucking thing the writers could do" is astounding.

[@macsmith2013]

Welcome to the golden age of Star Trek.

[@fartquaviasdingle7876]

@@macsmith2013 Welcome to the golden age of most pop culture.

[@KingOfMadCows]

I want to be optimistic but Discovery did the same thing. They addressed some of the criticism and tried to improve in season 2 but then they backslid and things got worse than before. It's almost like there are two teams of writers. One team tries to fix problems and make things better, then the second team comes in and throws all that into the trash. With Guinan, they could have said that the El Aurians age faster when they're away from their homeworld for too long. And it'll be kind of sad since they lost their homeworld to the Borg so all El Aurians are aging faster now.

[@Jordan3DS]

It's probably more a case of "if we make the first episode of the new season okay-ish then we can convince people to watch the rest of the season!" They just put a tiny semblance of thought or effort into the first episode to string people along, then stop trying after that.

[@davidm4566]

You can only fake stuff for so long before you fall back on who you really are.

[@NCRRanger7753]

That's how I know it no longer requires any acting schools, experience or anything to get a job in Hollywood. What you just wrote for Guinan was quite good. It makes you feel for her and her people, plus throws in that moral uncertainty because it might make people hate the Borg, which it seems will be this season's focus.

[@kkehoe5]

Just wait until they fire torpedoes with love dust at the ten-c to make them stop mining the Milky Way galaxy.

[@mariusvanc]

Discovery is just people crying every 5 minutes now.

[@nathan43082]

All Guinan had to say was, "What can I say? At some point, the years catch up to all of us."

[@MrValz0]

I love how no one cares Picard is a walking USB backup of himself.

[@wilcee675]

@David P that crazy scientist blonde pointed that out on the bridge, but I don’t know if the rest of Starfleet outside of his close friends even know about it.

[@Beer_Dad1975]

To quote the judge from the Simpsons "And I further decree that all will be just as it was before all this happened, and no one will ever mention it again! Under penalty of torture!"... YAY!

[@MatthewCobalt]

@@MellowFresh Wait, was Seven of Nine actually killed after Voyager got home? If I recall that exact episode, the crew got home (earlier in fact) thanks to time shenanigans by Admiral Janeway.

[@NGEvangeliman]

I mean some stuff vaguely similar has happened in the older series as well. I feel like there are a thousand other issues to face before you get to that.

[@LTenhet]

@@MellowFresh First two are good questions; however Seven didn't die at the end of Voyager, one of the main reasons for Janeway to go back in time was to stop that.

[@carlf.2776]

When Wil Wheaton said that this was a "golden age of Star Trek", I physically wretched.

[@Lemon_Inspector]

This is the second-hand leather couch of Star Trek

[@Blurns]

Woopie aged gracefully enough they could have changed it from saying she got old to saying she got fat and it would have been more honest.

[@VukLazarMusic]

yeah, maybe something about eating real delicious Earth food vs carefully honed replicator synth food

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

yeah, but that would require telling Woopie to her face that she's packed on a few pounds, and them making her say it as a line, and do you think anyone in show business is going to dare bruise the ego of one of their big stars that they're using to market their shitshow?

[@VukLazarMusic]

@@RipOffProductionsLLC she' would say it with utmost pride, call it body building, and maybe mention how much more fun her sex life has gotten.

[@JohnDoe-xf2ke]

@@VukLazarMusic It's the seed oils they put in replicator food that makes people fat

[@Blurns]

@@RipOffProductionsLLC Like she doesn't know she's gotten fat. She's a comedian, she can make a self-depreciating fat joke. She could have improvised something and it would have been better than what the writers wrote.

[@DanePavitt]

The excuse that Guinan looks older because she chose to is some next level stupidity. Its like it didn't even occur to the writers that Guinan might look older because she was older

[@ichimaru96]

"guinan why do you look older, i thought your race aged slowly" "Yeah slowly, i looked the way you knew me for a long time, but time caught up with me" THERE YA GO KUTZMAN! YA HACK!

[@Violaphobia]

God knows that there is no way to explain it in a fiction with TIME TRAVEL

[@Zontar82]

same reason why q decided to be older

[@ichimaru96]

@@Zontar82 "Q why are you here, and why do you look like that" "Fuck you jean-luc that's why"

[@DaeSkippy]

In a season of time travel they could have made her a much much much much older Guinan, and make that the reveal... but no. Q aged 12 years from TNG to VOY... BUT no... There's a reason... I FEEL SO SMART!

[@justdog5506]

Star Trek Online tells better Star Trek stories than anything produced for TV. They even get the original actors to do the voice acting

[@fromthedumpstertothegrave3689]

Yeah, i dip into STO occasionally literally just to play the story missions.

[@frankieb9444]

Thanks for reminds me about that...the only MMO I really got into.

[@Saddler1944]

Even there Discovery based stories are ok. Not great but better than anything Star Trek Discovery ever did.

[@umjackd]

I think the new shows are evidence that getting the original actors doesn't necessarily mean anything... but you're right. The writing for STO is on-point for great Star Trek stories.

[@fromthedumpstertothegrave3689]

@@umjackd I think a lot of people underestimate how vital the writers were to making star trek great. IE picard. Stuart brings him to life but without the writing behind him...

[@drakinkoren]

I love how these guys can seemingly hate the creative team behind all this more than me. I'd rather watch you guys going episode by episode than watch the actual show 😂

[@Sumicorn]

This! 🤣

[@gonzokules7794]

I never watched Picard, but all rlm reviews 2 times. Way better experience.

[@_AutoCoder]

That's what I did last season. This is waay better time spent.

[@Todo]

I do lol

[@zalzalahbuttsaab]

If you get a chance, search for the video entitled, "That video where Star Trek: Picard broke Rich Evans". It's hilarious.

[@diggingattycho7908]

16 out of 20 producers are panicking, "OH CRAP, we have to rewrite the show, they guessed our surprise ending". Go ahead, most of us are here for Mike and Rich's commentary. We could care less about the show.

[@ThePoshboy1]

*couldn't

[@HextimusDuex]

Just like LOST

[@darknight991]

I’m so entranced with this channel, I have been binging it straight for 3 days. I haven’t slept. I’ve never come across it before but it’s honestly the best critical analysis of genres I love, even if I don’t watch them anymore. When they pointed out that the faceless Borg queen is going to be Picards’ mother I honestly saw writers literally fucking panicking and doing a last second reshoot or a deepfake. Because only they could think that something that makes that little sense was an example of good writing.

[@jcore0981]

If there isn't a scene of Picard holding a lightsaber saying "Please friend, chose life." Before decapitating somebody then I'm out. Because that...is true Star Trek.

[@aspieboy74]

I'm waiting for Picard to defend the Gouald from the Death Star while piloting Talyn. May the force live long and prosper. Phasers to ludicrous speed Dallas Corbin.

[@jcore0981]

@@aspieboy74 I think I just got an aneurysm😂

[@herbiehusker1889]

@@aspieboy74 it's not Trek if he doesn't fight the Cylons.

[@Urammar]

I hate you. Please say more things

[@DmitryBrant]

I loved the opening scene where the floating grape harvester was picking grapes by using the TRANSPORTER BEAM to transport the grapes three feet from the vine to the basket!

[@555RavenCrow]

I loved how everyone is working hard for boss man making luxury goods that are indistinguishable from something that came out of a 3D printer in a currency free society so that he can afford a drooling pet mutt messing up his mansion and nonchalantly dodging all the women falling in love with his sorry planned obsolescence synth ass.

[@ammosophobia]

@@555RavenCrow Ah, Picard is Apple.

[@SumDumGy]

A grape harvester as lazy as the writing team and producers.

[@theboxcaradventurer1874]

What are they supposed to do? Use their hands? Like 21st peasants?!

[@SaltySparrow]

What bothers me about new media is things can't just "be". Everything has to have an explanation. Like the movie Cruella showed that she learned her evil laugh from a TV show. SHE CAN'T JUST HAVE IT? There is something great about something being "beyond our understanding". You just take it at face value and enjoy it. It doesn't have to be related to something.

[@13Psycho13]

because they usually don't have anything worthwhile to write, so they scrape the barrel.

[@christopha1955]

I think you're right. Only I hope they devote an episode to the origins of Guinan's hats. Is that how she knew Q? Are her hats from the Q continuum? Was Picard's mom originally a hat? Kurtzman, work your magic!

[@a.g.m8790]

Two of the unnecessary explanations I hate the most are where the xenomorph in the Alien franchise came from and where Han Solo got his name. One because because it’s completely trivial and literally doesn’t matter and the other because it’s dumb af and actively makes the entire franchise worse Alien Covenant apparently didn’t purge the robot fetish from Ridley Scott either because his weird android obsession is ruining a HBO Max series that had a decent beginning and interesting premise (before everything became about robots) called Raised By Wolves

[@alexturlais8558]

@@a.g.m8790 i disagree, I think its even more dumb that they explained to us how Han started calling Chewbacca Chewie.

[@a.g.m8790]

@@alexturlais8558 don’t fucking remind me. I want to physically harm whoever came up w/ that shit. Oh btw did you know Jean Luc Picard went to space because his mom told him to

[@naomidierckx5467]

Alex Kurtzman is the single most talented individual in Hollywood... With his talent being "ruining everything he touches". I mean, it's very hard to completely ruin a police procedural about serial killers. But my man actually managed to do it with flying colors. (See: Clarice.)

[@MrDevious88]

I will also add to his talent "and still get work afterwards". He was instrumental in not only crashing the popularity of the new Trek movies but also botched the launching of the Universal's Dark Universe franchise. How he still gets work is a mystery for the ages.

[@lebaneseedgyist5073]

Kurtzman, Abrams, Spielberg... damn I sure wonder what those guys have in common that allows them to forever keep their status and success in the industry no matter how many times they fail or how many franchises they ruin ... . 🙄🙄

[@lebaneseedgyist5073]

@AlphonseSwedgen much respect! I understand for Europeans there are a lot of issues you get with the immigration situation and people coming to your countries but when it comes to people generally in Syria or Lebanon (i havent been to Palestine the same way since we cant just drive over there for a stayover or visit the same way people go between Lebanon and Syria for occasions but im sure the attitudes arent very different there) we really dont have any bad intent towards you guys

[@jasonfenton8250]

​@@lebaneseedgyist5073 In its early days the movie industry was seen as very low class and even caused a pretty big moral panic. As a result Jews, who were pushed away from more "proper" lines of work by the WASP establishment ended up being disproportionately represented in Hollywood. It's a product of antisemitism, not a Jewish conspiracy. Which doesn't stop antisemites from whinging about it.

[@dbeane43]

When you take in Trek history as a whole its mystifying to me how much important stuff they ignore. Not a single word is uttered about the Dominion war which, in the long run, had a far more significant impact on the Federation than the Borg or Romulans ever did. And in all that talk of artificial life in Picard S1 where did holograms fit in? What did they do to the doctor from Voyager when they banned synthetic life? At the end of Voyager holograms were on the verge of a revolution thanks to the Doctor. I guess they don't matter because they're not "positronic"?

[@JohnnyZenith]

What about the advanced tech from the end of Voyager? Trans-phasic torpedoes and that shield armour. Certainly the shield armour was never mentioned again. Things that niggle me personally in Star Trek, despite understanding why. 24th century and we don't live far longer lives with youthful vitality with all the enormous leaps forward. Starfleet uniforms do not measure biometrics, change to weather and environment or shield people from phase or projectile fire. Very American centric. We always see San Francisco (looks boring and generic) and very little else. Where are the Germans, Swedes, Dutch, Ukrainians, British, French (real French people not Picard who is clearly English) Etc etc. The fact the federation still doesn't use cloaking technology. Holographic tech as you said. Ship AI...etc.

[@meatpuppet5036]

The Shapeshifter tests in DS9 said everything this show wants to say about creeping paranoia and authoritarianism, and they didn't need to put nazi uniforms on Starfleet officers.

[@mallios13]

I've had discussions about Trek's treatment of robots vs holograms before, and even going back to TNG, DS9 and VOY, I get the sense that the writers then didn't realize that both are literally the same type of being. The EMH isn't a "photonic lifeform" as VOY tried hinting at several times, he's a robot whose body is a combination of a CPU connected to holo-emitters and a holographic avatar, in the same way Data is a positronic brain within a humanoid chassis. They're both still the same software, just different hardware. But because isolated holograms like the EMH (as opposed to holograms constructed in a holodeck/suite) were never described as being a matrix contained within a positronic net, it gave the impression that the two are entirely different beings. This is furthered by the fact that the EMH's adaptive programming far surpasses Soong's work with Data, Lore and the emotion chip. In many ways, even the Mk 1 EMH makes Soong's work look rudimentary, and nobody ever mentions that. There's not even a hint, so far as I can remember, that Zimmerman's work was founded upon Soong's, giving the impression that Zimmerman created emotional robots independently of Soong's more widely exalted developments, and through holographic technology instead of conventional mechanical bodies.

[@dbeane43]

@@mallios13 I agree that writers didn't think that comparison through. When you boil it down, most holograms were just really advanced versions of an NPC in a video game. Of course Moriarty changed the game on that one. But he was initially a one off - almost magical. But, I don't think the writers thought about that when writing the Doctor. He just seemed to immediately have emotions when in fact it was really a complex algorithm meant to approximate emotional responses based on a pre determined set of stimuli specific to a medical mileu. He was essentially a souped up version of an assembly robot you see at an automobile plant except he was programmed with complex medical procedures. The personality was more of a fancy dressing to me. However, once they made the Doctor sentient that changes everything. The fact that this program was complex enough to achieve sentience demonstrates your point. It was a far greater accomplishment than Soong's because Zimmer did it without the need for a delicate positronic brain. But they just chose to ignore all of that in Picard. Of course TNG chose to ignore the myriad number of artificial life forms Kirk encountered in TOS. I know they subtly tried to make the distinction that Data was "uniquely positronic" but c'mon.

[@andrzejsugier]

@@JohnnyZenith Wait, didn't federation agree not to employ cloaking technology when they signed a peace treaty with Klingons/Romulans? I distinclty remember something like that, Federation purposefully de-arming themself to show how peaceful they are.

[@theRealPermagreen]

What Mike seems to be getting at around the 36 minute mark is that the producers of these shows are trying to apply SEO (search engine optimization) principles to their properties rather than, you know, coming up with meaningful stories they actually want to tell. And I think he's absolutely right and I hate it. Even outside of Star Trek, so much media these days feels like some paint-by-numbers schlock cooked up by almost entirely by marketing departments to appeal to statistically significant demographics just enough to get them to say, "yeah, that was good" and then move on to the next bit of content clunked out by their media assembly line.

[@steverogers8163]

Yes its the big budget version of those knock off RedBox movies that try to mimic popular movies to trick people out of their money.

[@LN997-i8x]

The Boba Fett show honestly felt like it was written by a piece of software.

[@bencarlson4300]

“Don’t ask questions. Just consume product and then get ready for the next product.”

[@ILsocker]

Sure expains the original cast Abramsverse movie just announced

[@JosephDavies]

@@ILsocker Original cast? I thought the new Abrams film was going to stay with the reboot cast. Most of the original cast is dead. :(

[@meatpuppet5036]

Picard's mom in TNG - Maman, seen briefly for one scene where she offers him tea, prim proper and polite. (she's also much older, and still human, not assimilated) Picard's mom in Picard - Girlboss, probably Borg Queen, also now retconned to an abuse survivor. I hate the future bros.

[@vde1846]

There are only four characters now: Girlboss (F) Effete buffoon (M) Whiskey slaminn', cigar chewing, depressed psycho (M/F) Over the top screaming villain (M/F(usually M))

[@Sawta]

The thing about Guinan purposefully aging to make humans "feel more comfortable" is weird. I mean, presumably there all sorts of aliens on earth. Probably like, floating mists of energy, big rolling balls of tentacles, 17 foot tall monsters covered in fur that communicate through spit - all sorts of crazy stuff. But the _one thing_ humans still haven't gotten used to is a black lady who doesn't seem to age? _That_ is the thing that freaks them out? "Whoa! I found this old picture of us together and you look the same age. This is CREEPY! Anyway, please tell the vat of sentient sulfuric ooze that I'll be in a little late this morning. I've got an appointment with Dr. 7-headed horseman."

[@zephyr8072]

This seems to echo the utterly ridiculous premise from Picard season 1 where they say organics will always conflict with synthetic life because synthetics don’t age. The writers of this seem OBSESSED with the idea that not aging as we do makes humans uncomfortable which is not only contradictory (Vulcans have at least twice the lifespan of humans) but extremely petty for the enlightened and utopian people Star Trek humans are meant to be.

[@woodlefoof2]

@@zephyr8072 there is some evolving experiments in regards to aging. And whenever I’ve brought up the idea of making humans no longer age or making death by aging a thing of the past. Either through genetic editing, or through having our bodies relearn how to make certain cells and fibers. I’ve been met with an immediate response of discomfort at the idea of aging becoming a thing of the past. So I guess I’m going to have to throw the writers a bone on that one. It does seem like a source of discomfort for a lot of people. Personally I think it’s cool and so I share it, but a lot of people seem to dislike the idea. Edit: then again it’s possible I’m the worst salesman of all time who can somehow make not dying seem like a bad thing

[@zephyr8072]

@@woodlefoof2 Yes but there's a difference between minor discomfort and being uncomfortable to the point of open conflict. Regardless of _that_ that point is that in the setting of Star Trek it's not a thing that's ever been a problem for the aforementioned reason. Nobody has ever gone up to Spock and resented him for living twice as long as humans, not even McCoy who looked for any reason to make a jab at him. Nobody has ever been uncomfortable or distant with Guinan even though she's centuries old and still young. This is a problem with nuTrek as a whole. Writers who don't respect the history and setting of Star Trek. If they want to make a story where humans/organics are oh so resentful of immortals of any stripe then they can write that story, but don't call it Star Trek.

[@headphonic8]

There was a character on DS9 who literally had a CLEAR SKULL. He was repeatedly talked about but never shown, because you could literally see his brains. Jadzia had a little crush on him and it became a running joke. But yes, ageless black lady is too disturbing.

[@117johnpar]

Rich needs to have a gag put over him when he tries to theorize what ridiculous direction these modern franchises go narratively. he has an unfortunate reputation of being right.

[@matthewryan6187]

They're taking notes

[@biermeester]

"he has an unfortunate reputation of being right." No, he's not right: he *is* behind it all. I've watched the Phantom Menace over 100 times this year and, after careful over-analysis, it's *clearly* George Lucas trying to warn us about Rich Evans.

[@Wir3dGuy]

@@biermeester Rich is Alex Kurtzman. Have you ever seen them in the same room together?

[@willfe]

Kurtzman continues to display contempt for his audience by involving Wil Wheaton in any fashion.

[@rahn45]

"Remember this band of f-ups and criminals from the first season?" "No." "Well they're now all in positions of power in Star Fleet!" "I really don't care."

[@lancebaylis3169]

Remember when Jean Luc Picard was a character with nobility and this commanding presence, and not a sad old guy who spends all his time looking tired, depressed, and crying? Yeah I'm gonna cast shade where it's due, the Next Generation movies started this, but damn if I just don't care about watching Patrick Stewart crying anymore. This character has strayed so far from the qualities that made him admirable that I have no hesitation is answering the question "Whose the best Captain, Picard or Kirk?" with an unquestioned vote for James Tiberius.

[@mezua123]

Until today i was in team picard. But after the perfect summary of your comment i came to realize that i am in team kirk - for a long time actually

[@christopha1955]

@@mezua123 True, I think if they cast Shatner in a Kirk revival, he could still pull off the role admirably.

[@ChadGPTu]

Picard wins if you accept that this new stuff, and perhaps the TNG movies, aren’t canon

[@mezua123]

@@christopha1955 for sure. Patrick stewart lost all his credibility. Never let an actor make decisions about the story

[@mezua123]

@@ChadGPTu Well, i thlught alot about that. Why do i even care about nmthis new stuff? Just dont consider it canon and that's it. Bit the disappointing thing is this: as a fan you always wish for a continuation of your beloved story i a satisfying way. But because they messed up, all future attempts of continuing the star trek story are going to consider this awfullnes in some way or another. Therefore your beloved story is ruined for eternity and all hope for a reasonable continuation is out the window. I hope this makes sense and is understandable

[@willcarroll5320]

Mike messed up in the edit here a bit. He's half right in his joke that the Borg Queen was replaced by Susanna Thompson on some episodes on Voyager. But in the Voyager clip he uses at 10:22, that is ALSO Alice Krige. Since it was the series finale, she agreed to reprise the role as a way to give it a proper send off. So while Mike's joke is correct, he's cutting to the same actress in different clips. What a hack!

[@casbyness]

Noticed the same thing. :) Also, not sure why people get bothered about the Queen's appearance changing. In truth, druing her Voyager appearances she should never have looked like the Queen in First Contact. And I'm not talking about the actor's face, I mean the overall design. The Queen in First Contact was very obviously a literal 'cut and shut' piece of work, patched together from a spare cybernetic body and the bust of a random Enterprise crew member (likely the redhead who we see screaming in the Jeferries tube) that had been modified to resemble the Queen Picard had met once before. She was assembled by the Borg under emergency circumstances, using minimum resources. It makes perfect sense that a 'real' Queen would look quite different. Unfortunately, until now the Queen's look in First Contact was hailed as iconic and therefore ever since was copied for later appearances. That really shouldn't have happened.

[@willcarroll5320]

@@casbyness It makes a little sense. It's just a TV show, you're going to want the character to be immediately recognizable. But the franchise had run out of creativity at that point honestly, I can't imagine they even considered changing a hair of that design.

[@casbyness]

@@willcarroll5320 Yeah. as many others have covered over the past twenty years, Voyager had a really great chance toevolve the franchise, but instead played things safe and caused Star Trek to become its own niche genre. Creativty with the Borg Queen's design was never going to be possible under those circumstances.

[@Jordan3DS]

Shhhhhh, we'll just blame that one on Jay...

[@MrSnaztastic]

What makes you think he messed up? They pull the same joke with Bob Hope looking identical in two shots elsewhere, either way I laughed.

[@picklepepper900]

I think what mike was trying to say towards the end. Was that star trek has gone away from a focused narrative mainline show to now 9 broken up shows of lesser quality targeted at various key marketing demographics in an attempt to make lots of cash. Which is correct, and all major media companies are falling for this trap of targetting demographic sets instead of just making good stories.

[@Horatio787]

Netflix appeals to different demographics with different shows. They don't take one name brand and smear it across multiple kinds of shows.

[@svensorensen7693]

"Family Entertainment" that everyone can enjoy is dead, and everything has to be specifically tailored to its "target market"

[@ReverendMuncle]

"The giant sausage in space was Picard's mother" is the character arc that Alex Kurtzmehhh wishes he was smart enough to come up with

[@tytsty5716]

You know it’s a great episode of review when mike breaks out the paper like an Alzheimer’s patent

[@TheL1034]

Good job by Mike editing the firearms aimed at their heads by people forcing them to do this!

[@glitchedoom]

Rich got some Russian Mafia goons from his connections with Vitale Versace to hold Mike at gunpoint.

[@Corninthesky]

Oh I see, that’s why they used the green screen

[@sir0nion]

It doesn't matter. They're wearing second chance body armor.

[@Lekolo408]

I have no interest in ever watching Picard, but I will drop everything I’m doing to watch two mega nerds continue to suffer

[@popedizzled_mywizzle]

Indubitably, good sir.

[@Theoppositesex]

Same here, brother.

[@jmbovee]

RedLetterMedia brings me so much joy, I don’t even know how to thank you guys.

[@DawnApon]

I literally don't watch the show but I still watch these. Just the depth of analytic passion for Star Trek, and for general story telling.

[@nighteyes5683]

So, Mike, Rich, I wanted to tell you guys (as I assume you constantly monitor these comment sections) that I recently started watching TNG. Per your recommendation, I skipped season 1 and went straight to season 2 (y'all actually said season 3 but I decided to dip my toes in a little early). Anyway, I'm enjoying it. This is the first Star Trek content (minus the Abrams movies) I've ever watched and its quite good. I'm not that hardcore of a sci-fi fan (I tend to skew more fantasy) but there's no denying the show is thoughtful, well-written, and not afraid to go after big/challenging questions in a smart way. I also think I understand y'all's complaints about new Trek much better. TNG is totally comfortable with setting an entire episode around a technical problem. That's basically the whole plot in the one where Geordi is interacting with the holo-Brahms, they're discussing in detail engineering problems and solutions for fake future tech. Yet despite that, it FEELS very real; it feels like we're actually listening in on two very intelligent space-ship engineers talking through a problem, with all the requisite lingo that would entail. Again, not really my bag but I can respect the care the writers put into making the technology seem real. And therefore the world that it exists in seems realer as well. I guess that's my point. New Trek (as I've experienced it) comes off as a fine enough way to kill a couple hours. It'll look slick and you'll see some exciting explosions and action--and then you'll move on with your life. From what I've seen of Old Trek, though, I can understand how people can kind of just lose themselves in the world, why they want to dress-up and go to cons. Because when you're watching it, it feels as if you can just step through the TV screen right onto the bridge! Even the way the characters interact with each other is fascinating--because they're often on duty and therefore speaking in a very stiff, protocol-following way. Not normal TV show dialogue, not even what you would call entertaining dialogue--however, it is dialogue a militaristic people would have on a ship/starship which, again, makes the world of the show feel that much realer. So its attention to detail. Or really, reveling in the details. Or really, sometimes making the details the entire point of the show and not just explosions all the time. I don't know. Explosions are easy, and guaranteed to put some asses in the seats (at least temporarily). What TNG does is a lot harder to pull off. The reward is a loyal fan base, true, but I don't think its a fan base of the size CBS is chasing. And yet in chasing that bigger audience, they appear to have sacrificed what made Star Trek special to begin with. It's a tangle, for sure. TL;DR--TNG is good, y'all.

[@jstarwars360]

That's what happened with the The Lighting Thief. The author warned them that pandering to a wider audience would make children hate it and would turn off the average viewer anyway but they still did it.

[@dada78641]

I'm probably fairly alone in this but I liked season 1 just fine, even though it's quite weird and all over the place. Definitely give it a go when you're done with the rest, and think of it basically as an extra season of Star Trek TOS.

[@quzar]

"Verisimilitude" is a good word that encapsulates a lot of your description.

[@andrewtaylor940]

Mike, here's the secret of all the shiny new Starfleet ships. The one admission to Fucking Up from last season is they admitted that Riker's "Cut N Paste" fleet really really sucked. So they actually (and surprisingly for Hollywood) admitted the fans were right, decided to not do that again. Then they picked up the phone and called the Developers of the long running Star Trek Online MMO. WHo have Boatloads of 3d model Starfleet ships that just happen to be in a format they can use. So most of the ships seen on screen are from the Video Game. (Which actually has much better writing than any modern ST series). The models used from the game were new ships the Gagarin, The Reliant, the Sutherlin and the Ross classes. With Sutherland and Ross being newer or "Mark II" evolutions of the Nebula and Galaxy. They also used STO's models for the Akira, Sovereign (Enterpise-E class) Titan and Inquiry classes. Because they were better CGI models than the ones the production team had. Yes the 12 year old ongoing Free to Play video game had better CGI assets than the Star Trek productions. This fact becomes much more believable when you realize that in the 25th Century Picard still buys his Patio Furniture at Costco.

[@MrSnaztastic]

I wonder how the developers of Star Trek: Online felt when they got that call. Ah who am I kidding, CBS probably had some intern rip the assets over a lunch break.

[@sappy9320]

this should be at the top - just as bad as the stock footage issue from season one

[@daishikaze3986]

@@MrSnaztastic the STO Guys have been touting about it, so they seem to be very happy about getting that call. Of course they could be required to be happy about it if they want to keep their game going, so who knows?

[@JohnnyZenith]

I'll be more pleased if they introduce a newly launched Enterprise F in the 3rd season. No I do not care if it wasn't launched till a bit later.

[@Rezuaq]

I hope the people that designed those for the game got a nice big paycheck for that!

[@superdrunkdnb]

I haven't watched a single episode of Star Trek: Picard, BUT I have watched each of the RLM reviews about them multiple times. I guess you can call it my compfort entertainment.

[@simoncubitt634]

The line "Half in the bag" is totally a meta reference to you guys; and well deserved.

[@memeomeme8351]

It has to be. I didn't even know that was a saying, I just thought it was the title of the RLM show. If it's that obscure a saying there's no way it isn't a reference. Maybe there's a writer over at who was able to sneak that in there.

[@WillyoDee]

Genuinely could be a disgruntled writer who is a fan of the show and is consistently shot down. They must be so happy they got the line in the show f this is the case

[@Ulyssestnt]

It means "drunk" though and its not really that obscure,but im hoping its a wink and a nod.

[@O1OO1O1]

Yep, someone dying inside doing all they can to make it less worse than it is, like Henry Cavil saying, "you know, maybe we shouldn't joke about the horse" in season 2 of The Witches.

[@Ulyssestnt]

@@O1OO1O1 I really think their feelings got hurt after Mike and Co's takedown of S1 and wanted to give a subtle wink..