Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: An Unbridled Rage

Disney's failure is now complete.
Check out the Swordsman, Shadiversity - / shadmbrooks
Plagued Creations' Animation - • EFAPAS #53: Tenn Graneet
EFAP Episode covering Rise of Skywalker - • EFAP Order #66 - Full ...
If you would like to support my channel, here's a link to my Patreon and SubscribeStar:
Patreon - www.patreon.com/user?u=4817956
SubscribeStar - www.subscribestar.com/mauler

[@MauLerYT]

Hello there! It's pretty crazy that it's been two years since I put out that video ranting about a crappy movie and now, here we are. Disney managed to make, essentially, the exact same mistake as they did in 2017 and so I have a perspective to share on the subject. This video kinda wiped me out a bit, I've been writing, editing and rendering for 3 weeks straight, little sleep/socialising but it meant getting something that normally takes about a month and a half out, in half the time. Thanks to that, there may be a couple of mistakes and corners cut but the message is mostly unmistakable; The Rise of Skywalker was awful, the sequel trilogy was a disaster... But I am thankful for what it brought my life. I'm thankful for you lot enjoying my content and supporting this channel. I guess this video marks the end of an era in a way, or at least the bookend for the two years. I have a bunch of big plans for 2020, I hope to see you lot there. o/ Also, check out Shadiversity, he makes kickass Medieval media analysis videos - kzbin.info See yah next time folks...

[@kenjithemilkman]

love u mate

[@KaneK1234]

MauLer I love you so fucking much Mauler! Do you have a patreon?

[@KaneK1234]

MauLer You are honestly incredible. That can’t be understated. The most intelligent youtuber on this platform.

[@IcePhysicsGaming]

haha! You made me think of the cloners on Kamino when you said, "in half the time".

[@TKUltra971]

JJ Abrams disliked that.

[@ultimatewpn]

I'm going to pretend that when C3PO looked to the screen and said "I'm taking one last look at my friends", he was speaking to the audience.

[@soulsdancetomusic]

ultimatewpn Noooo, why would you say that!?!?!?

[@laresial]

And JJ Abrams killed him, and they friends in the film what did for save him?, nothing. Nothing at all. They did not mind at all about C2P0

[@Hirnlego999]

@@laresial I thought that was more of Rian thing to do really, C3PO and R2D2 were not exactly much in TLJ at all.

[@coh2conscript851]

Dont make me sad like that dude holy fuck

[@Overlord734]

He was replaying a footage from ep6 celebration.

[@bentonrp]

Rey staring at the suns means nothing to her; She's never seen them before. Luke stared out at them for 19 years hoping out there was better than where he was. Nice try Rey. Nice try stealing everything.

[@TheAlienGangster]

More like Disney stealing our childhood

[@Taojas]

Exactly. Just another example that Rey is not even a fictional character in any sense of the word but rather an Ideological construct. And this is just another example of the gaping black void of total inauthenticity at the very heart of this trilogy. It is a doppleganger draped in the flayed, dead skin of the Star Wars franchise. Maybe Kathleen should change her surname to Bolton.

[@chillyphil598]

My favourite scene of Any Star Wars film. Not an original opinion but yeah her looking into them and stealing his name is so contrived. She didn’t even Bond with Luke fuck I hate Disney

[@wacey7455]

What really bothered me about that one scene was that not only was Rey standing in the same shot with the two sun's, for some stupid reason the writer also had that stupid comic relief beach ball Droid in the same beautiful picture. It made that scene SO cheap and down right ugly. I get that they were saying the Droid was an important friend with her the entire series and they needed to be standing in the wrap up shot together, but it was so unnessesary and took away from the gravitas of what we are supposed to be seeing. Why even bother having the stupid unfunny robot be there in the ending shot? UHG.

[@pickyphysicsstudent201]

I'd rather have Rey stare at something like a dual moon rise. This being something at the start of TFA, showing how she wants to escape poverty on not-Tatooine. Yeah, it sounds dumb but would be distinct and would look cool as both a parallel to the original dual sunset but as it's own spin - kind of like what most of us wished this trilogy would be.

[@data7193]

Luke Skywalker: Fights a sith lord for the first time >Loses hand >Thrown down a garbage chute >Almost dies, needed to be rescued. Anakin Skywalker: Fights a Sith lord for the first time >Loses hand >Thrown into a pile of scrap metal unconscious > Obi Wan is also defeated, master yoda steps in Rey: Fights sith lord for the first time >wins for some reason

[@ihatemychannelname]

lost nothing and has the audacity to call herself a skywalker

[@HerohammerStudios]

You've gotta love our very own Ma-Rey Suuuuuuuueeee

[@john_1986]

"You're no sith, you can barely even hold a lightsaber!" - Anakin to Kylo Ren voiceline in Battlefront 2

[@dakotasherman632]

Thry seem to have forgotten that villains are supposed to win from time to time, and be intimidating.

[@username45739]

"Rey: Fights sith lord for the first time >wins for some reason" 1) Emu Ren wasn't a sith "lord" - he was a larper, which in itself could be taken as too much of a deconstructive/meta approach for this series. 2) There's lots of movies where the hero wins at the end of the 1st (sometimes even only!) movie, you should watch more than just Star Wars. Hell Luke didn't get violently crushed after trying to taken down a gargantuan space station that shoots lasers - if he had, and then Rey did a trenchrun and won, you'd be typing "Mary Suuueeee loololol" like a mindless fg.

[@NourArt02]

Watching 2 hours of the actual movie: ✕ Watching 2 hours of someone roasting the movie: ✓

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

I've never seen the sequel trilogy and I love watching KZbins tearing them apart. It's like it's own little sub genre.

[@Misery7531]

The movie was great he's a reviews f****** suck

[@Misery7531]

You got it all wrong the movie is good not these shitty reviews at all

[@HansVHimmelreich]

@@BiggieTrismegistussadly i paid a cinema to watch these and I can tell you, the roasts of these horrible trashpiles are far more entertaining than the movies, imagine the world without consequences for your actions, that what feminists want and these movies want

[@liamphibia]

They offer better insight and entertainment than the people behind these damn films.

[@RawkL0bster]

“Who are you” “Rey” “Rey who” Rey looks to the distance to see Luke and Leia and the gives a little smirk on her face as she opens her mouth and says... “Rey’d Shadow Legends. With over 16 million downloads, Raid shadow legends is free, turn based game with over 400 characters to collect. The devs add 16 champions each month and are constantly updating the game.”

[@vladtepes2667]

Is this a crossover with Count Dankula?

[@gerwynjones6862]

Raya godess of the earth, wonder if she has male genitalia too.

[@csh8451]

Ah, I see you're an internet historian as well.

[@RawkL0bster]

@@gerwynjones6862 Long as it's feminine male genitalia.

[@Fangorum]

@@gerwynjones6862 - Pffff... Hwa, Hua, haaa: shezzz aw Pout-clown-sneez - so yes‽

[@burr69]

This entire trilogy could’ve been redeemed if Rey, at the end, said “I’m Rey palpatine” and then electrocuted that old lady

[@marekkralik8290]

Well,shit ... I agree holy fucking shit that woud be hillarious.

[@griffith4723]

No, no, no. It would’ve been funnier if she said “the force is female” out of nowhere and electrocute her with the sky instead of her hands. She then proceeds to be in every episode and movie and issue of Star Wars media and make it a fucking comedy, while being an all-out feminist.

[@adrianogoulartcarvalho7144]

The movie would still have a lot of problems, but at least it would've been something

[@somedude5581]

The only way to fix this trilogy is to retcon and reboot episodes 7-9.

[@zenosol234]

@@somedude5581 and maybe this time, actually plan ahead. write more than a single episode instead and just make up more as you go along

[@Fleetches]

Disney: It's canon. Me: No, it's not.

[@Goibniu001]

Some political freak's wet dream.

[@brodeyleembruggen9910]

💣

[@iana3892]

Me: What you think are some kind of Jedi waving your hand around like that?!

[@mariussielcken]

It's a canon-destroying canon

[@All2Meme]

The Disney canon has misfired.

[@noncrete4441]

If two lightsabers does that, image what general greivous could have done to him

[@imperialguardproductions]

Just imagine grievous going to tatooine and digging up those lightsabers that Rey buried in *SAND* and then killed Rey immediately and took her lightsaber. If that's how the movie ended, I would give a standing applause

[@sijul6483]

@@imperialguardproductions fine addition to my collection

[@imperialguardproductions]

@@sijul6483 you ARE a bold one

[@kodster234]

"I am all the sith!" "And I am all the Jedi!" *Grievous bursts in* "And I have all the lightsabers!"

[@StarWarsomania]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@AmberSmith-zx2rp]

"I'm Rey" "Rey who?" "Uh, I don't have a last name. I'm on my own." "So... Solo."

[@TheInverseGentleman]

Fucking nice

[@LyraLyraPantsOnFyra]

Nailed it

[@ripwinkler1595]

Rey Sand

[@baphomathedude8057]

That would actually be better then her desicrating the name Skywalker

[@Torlik11]

@@ripwinkler1595 Does that mean she's coarse and rough and irritating and she gets everywhere?

[@shawnyboy77]

I also love when Rey finds the dagger she says something like "This has done terrible things." while she holds a lightsaber that has literally slaughtered a room full of children.

[@protheu5]

Don't you worry about the children. No one's ever really gone.

[@kingknightisbestknight7398]

@@protheu5 they are probably Force Ghosts too

[@SennaHawx]

@@kingknightisbestknight7398 They're probably chasing Ghost-Anakin all over the Galaxy, so he is unable to help Jake, Kylo and Rey during the plots

[@eras1066]

@@SennaHawx Stabbing his Force ankles with their Force knives.

[@TheHalogen131]

Omg that is so true! I just laughed so hard!

[@michaelfraser1073]

The absolute WORST sin of this movie is how they completely destroyed Palpatine. In the OT and the PT, Palpatine was depicted as a master manipulator and tactician. This man spent over a decade carefully manipulating everything, including starting a galaxy-wide war, to engineer the downfall of the Jedi and the establishment of the Republic. He managed to manipulate the Republic against itself, ensuring that not only was the Republic dismanted, but the Senators would cheer it on. He managed to delibaretely manipulate the own great hope of the Jedi to the dark side. In this pile of ass, he creates a fleet but doesn't use it, and then alerts the galaxy to his presence before his fleet is ready.

[@sologamer3122]

Honestly as much as I love Luke, Palpatine got the worst character assassination

[@jacobmonks3722]

Palpatine in the original trilogy was just a dude in a chair who was incredibly arrogant and incredibly powerful. He didn't have really any layers to him until the prequel trilogy. But he still had a great and imposing presence, but not as much as Vader himself.

[@juliebartlett4222]

@@jacobmonks3722 I direct your attention to his arrival on the Death Star as an indication that you are not correct. When he emerges from the shuttle, the first thing you see clearly is his hands. His hands are almost always in frame when he is. He is meant to be seen as a master manipulator, and his goading and taunting of Luke throughout their meeting is indeed masterful. His downfall is that he underestimates the power of love, something he lacks.

[@jacobmonks3722]

@juliebartlett4222 Yes, but I wouldn't call that a particularly interesting or deep character. Thematically appropriate? Sure. Memorable? Absolutely. Like I said, just the feeling of his presence is his best quality. But did anybody really watch the OT and think, "I bet this guy has a lot of interesting interpersonal relationships and drama in his life and has a very compelling motivation for doing what he does." I'm willing to bet the number of people who actually thought that in the 80s was in the single digits.

[@StarWarsomania]

@@jacobmonks3722 Did you actually, you know, WATCH the OT?

[@arrownoir]

Rey took everything. Their legacies, their victories, their lives and even their names. She’s like an insatiable bottomless pit.

[@jiggycalzone8585]

In terms of the meta, Rey *is* Darth Nihilus

[@vrika4280]

This reminded me of Morty on Vindicators 3, J.J.: It's a miracle I actually ever destroyed anything. Morty: Oh, I don't know. You managed to destroy just about everything today; the villains, the heroes, the line between them, my childhood...

[@username45739]

crywhiteboi

[@username45739]

I mean she didn't and you're obviously misrepresenting and distorting the movie (she spent a great deal of TLJ trying to vindicate Luke and the Jedi, saying he hadn't failed Kylo and the world etc.), but hey you do you

[@R0bot4]

@@username45739 stop trolling

[@Milkra]

“I am all the sith” “And I am all the Jedi” Someone was paid to write this

[@MediumRareOpinions]

"I'm every women, its all in me..."

[@spandsbab]

Obi-Wan: Anakin you were the chosen one! Rey to self: Hihihi, I am the ONLY one... How to ruin 40 years of Star Wars in just 2 sentences...

[@Thatslifebro_]

I AM THE LAAAAAWWWWW!

[@scottski02]

@@MediumRareOpinions "I'M EVERY WHAMEN!" --Batwoman trailer

[@jgfear]

And I am Iron Man

[@toganium4175]

Remember in The Force Awakens when Han Solo said, "that's not how the force works!" That line applies to this whole film.

[@nont18411]

Dwebly II Hate to admit it but having Han back as a force ghost still make more sense than Han as a “mEmoRY”

[@skittybug6937]

@@nont18411 I mean, at least there's precedent to Han wielding a lightsaber in Empire. One could construe that as having at least a weak connection to the force (as JJ intended with Finn). But when Ryan went nowhere with that...UGH. This is why you don't let multiple directors with opposing creative visions take over from each other in the middle of an arc.

[@niahoad]

Or when poe yelled: Tell us, you have a plan!

[@KingOfAllDragoons]

Nirawit Karnjanasomwong especially since Kylo didn’t even know Han that well

[@patricklemire9278]

all three of them .....the TNHTFW Trilogy.

[@johnlocke9437]

Just for reference, creamy Sheev had 1080 star destroyers at Exegol. Each star destroyer has a crew of roughly 40,000 (including storm troopers). That means Sheevy Wonder had 42 million men at his disposal, at least 10 million of which were storm troopers. Why was he hiding again?

[@Connor_Kirkpatrick]

Because they don’t know how to fly up

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

Obviously to breed stormtroopers to pilot his ships.

[@lilbill7385]

@@aprinnyonbreak1290 that’s why he’s in hiding, he participates in the breeding

[@macgeorge8229]

This not an excuse for the writers but for a galixy that is small like i would expect the empire haveing trillons of soldiers at its hight of whitch 10 mill is not mutch even for the huts space is big.

[@elibethea4484]

@Mac George fair point but in the prequels 1.5 Million clones were enough to wage a galaxy wide war. If they had 10 million clones Palpitine had no reason to hide because he would know himself that 10 million is more than enough

[@spoon9854]

The dark side of Disney is a path that leads to many badly written sequels some would consider.. uncanonical

[@whaguitars]

LOL

[@theenclave4981]

They need to remake the sequels, pretend these never existed and set it to 10 years after Endor and either use CGI to remake the OT characters or create and entirely new cast. Add Admiral Thrawn the imperial remnant and maybe Palpatine in a cloned body that Luke proceeds to defeat a few times.

[@Mothbean]

​@@theenclave4981For the love of God, don't dig up and puppeteer Carrie Fisher's corpse for another movie

[@KingDizzo86]

@@theenclave4981it might be time to recast the original characters

[@tylere.8436]

​@@theenclave4981No, they need to just declare it noncanonical and just leave the saga alone.

[@britbloc123]

This entire trilogy was just about Rey taking everything from Luke: His Lightsaber, his powers, his friends, his loved ones, his homestead, even his name.

[@matthewcollins4773]

His purpose. His legacy.

[@shuyuwang6122]

A palpatine taking everything from a skywalker

[@SCWRMComms]

Even his freaking X-Wing. -Jovahexeon

[@incubussatyrius4965]

Girl was introduced as a scavenger. Sounds consistent.

[@pierrelindgren5727]

Rey is what a Java looks like underneath their hood.

[@steel8231]

I still cant get over how they said throughout the entire movie, "Dont be afraid of who you are" and then Rey goes and ditches her name because she's afraid of dealing with the Palpatine name.

[@loukes7758]

Steel well Leia says “never be afraid of who you are” and then Rey sees a vision of herself from the dark side and the vision says “don’t be afraid of who you are” and then hisses at her. To me, that image of herself was mocking Leia and trying to show her how terrifying the person she could become truly is. I think it’s fucking awesome.

[@loukes7758]

BELLA ben solo

[@Debicus]

@@loukes7758 Eh. Too little too late for Rey.

[@wourag3885]

I actually thought she took the name cos she wanted to bang Kylo, so thought it was spiritually hers 🤷‍♀️

[@steel8231]

@@wourag3885 if that was the case why wasn't Ben Skywalker's force ghost there with Luke and Leyla's?

[@sparco956]

"Cloning techniques only the Sith knew" "Wait didn't the Galactic Republic fight a war with clones back in the day?" "Force-shut up"

[@Philip54622]

Its as stupid as hux saying that they need to destroy the Republic because they support the resistance, like what the actual fuck how is 100 people and one cruiser so much more important than a whole galactic wide government with a proper army and navy.

[@liamphibia]

*THE CLONE WARS EXISTS, JJ!*

[@JadenMoon1475]

​@@liamphibia: Evil guy once in command, loses command, makes a clone to take the throne while he acts as the puppeteer from the shad- *_WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? ALL YOU LAZY ASSES DID IS RIP OFF THE "Arise, Serpentine, Arise!" FROM THE SHOUT FACTORY G.I. JOE CARTOON!!!!!!_* Give me a fucking break!!!!!

[@JadenMoon1475]

​@@liamphibia: *_THAT_* is why you can literally roast the "SeQuEl TrIlOgY" by *_QUOTING THE PREQUELS!!!_* Seriously! Pretend for a minute you had your mind wiped - You know, what they did to C-3PO *_TO PROTECT LEIA FROM PALPATINE!!!_* - and you watch ANH where Luke asked Obi-Wan: "You fought in the clone wars?". Now watch the prequel trilogy - Attack of the Clones in particular. Tell me you weren't excited for that huge battle on Geonosis!!

[@joak9992]

I don't know why anyone asks why Kylo is so angry all the time. I'd be angry all the time if I was in these movies too.

[@vahlok1426]

They killed the extended universe for this. They killed Kyle Katarn, Dash Rendar, Luke's New Jedi Order, Dark Forces, most of the KOTOR lore, all the post-trilogy novels- all of it. For this. I can't believe *this actually happened.*

[@0x777]

They also killed the careers of Kathy Kennedy, Rian Johnson and Jay Jay. So at least something good came out of those movies.

[@0x777]

@Jimb0 Who did award it, Warner Bros?

[@maximus6844]

They also killed Galen Marek and replaced him with Space Aladdin.

[@vahlok1426]

@Megan Todd As a follow up to Clone Wars, Rebels is underwhelming to say the least. Only episodes I truly ended up liking was the ones featuring Vader and the one where Obi-Wan and Darth Maul had their final showdown.

[@vahlok1426]

@Megan Todd Yeah I was super hyped for Thrawn to make a return, only for him to barely be anything close to the original

[@covingtown_]

When Ben Solo jumps down onto the giant chain and says "Ow!", this is his final line of dialogue in the whole movie. Kylo Ren/Ben Solo's final words are "Ow!". This is how the movie treats its own characters and lore.

[@forsaken-pr5iz]

Lol

[@Pendragon44321]

Fuck....that absolutely pisses me off. I'm still so pissed about how such a shitty character he is yet he had so much fucking potential. Poor Adam Driver

[@nightwishfan1991]

Wow, that's incredibly depressing.

[@davidredacted3769]

compare to lukes last lines. TLJ is shakespear compared to TROS.

[@BasicSub]

Those are my final words regarding the trilogy. Ow!

[@Taktaagic]

I will never get tired of hearing people call the connection thing between Rey and Kylo “Force Skype Calling”

[@JadenMoon1475]

Minus the stupid part each sees the other's surroundings & appearance - *_That stupid part Rey tells Kylo to please put a shirt on_* - it's just basic telepathy. The Family Guy spoof of ESB; "Something, Something, Something, Dark Side", even poked fun at it.

[@paulyb2405]

I go back to the originals. Like many I've seen and read pretty much everything there is about the Galaxy Far, Far Away. I've been involved in this journey, following all our heroes and anti heroes for over forty years. I was in a packed cinema for Rise of Skywalker. At the end when Rey is asked "Who are you?" And she replies "I'm Rey, Rey Skywalker." Two people from different sections of the cinema called out "No you're not!" To which a gaggle of laughter went around the audience as they left their seats to walk out. On the way home it hit me. After forty plus years and the galaxy sized adventures I've been on with countless characters it ended in laughter. People actually laughing at the ending. I found that sad, still do. What a way to go out.

[@jaieregilmore971]

Depressing right that why I believe Star Wars ended in return of the Jedi and is the happy ending to Star Wars which looking at the six movies it didn’t need a sequel and honestly the Disney trilogy is not a story worth telling.

[@4ll3sb4n4n3]

I hate Disney humor, it's course, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere.

[@lutherburgsvik6849]

So it belongs on Tatooine then...?

[@thesnipingseal8011]

Luther Burgsvik pretty harsh insult for tatooine. Don’t you think

[@lutherburgsvik6849]

@@thesnipingseal8011 yeah, I suppose so. It was just that he said *'rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere'* and that kind of sums up sand. And Tatooine is a desert planet full of sand, so I thought it was kind of amusing.

[@luk11c4]

LMAO.

[@de4th1snt3nough]

Are you referencing something? I cant place it... its like my mind is steering me away from it

[@edmonddantes563]

Who are you ? “Rey” “Rey’d shadow legends”

[@Ramacastelo]

I laughed out loud. I thank you!

[@DMitr0]

comment of the decade contender 😂 starting off 2020 extra strong huh 😅😏

[@iiEchoUK]

This is the most ambitious comment of 2020

[@dongxx]

🙃

[@hartianx1698]

Pretty sure I saw that somewhere else but it's still chuckleworthy

[@cpl.oralove425]

I come back often to these. They make me not feel alone in my own UNBRIDLED RAGE.

[@whaguitars]

Agree I'm re-watching Drinkers and Maulers reviews.

[@haoyuezheng6082]

same. Even every swear word is used on point lol

[@0That_Guy0]

Try out the reviews from E;R, you might enjoy those too! He went ballistic with this trilogy.

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

I'm not a huge Star Wars fan and have never seen the sequel trilogy, yet I love the various long KZbin videos shitting all over these movies. So many beloved franchises have been wrecked over the last few years; my beloved Star Trek, Doctor Who, Marvel Comics and DC Comics have suffered the same fate as Star Wars. There's something cathartic about seeing how pissed off so many fanbases are nowadays. Star Wars fans are as sick of this shit as everyone else.

[@EvanSol919]

I feel bad for all the actors. I'm sure they all signed up thinking this was going to be an amazing experience but ended up being victims of a bunch of higher ups that didn't know what they were doing.

[@legendarydavo]

Honestly definately don't blame them. You have the money and potential future job prospects... why wouldn't you.

[@juliebartlett4222]

@@legendarydavo It is true that one does not say "no" to Disney and have a career afterward.

[@aronthedev3074]

Especially John Boyega. He was so excited to play that character in TFA and by the TRoS he looks so defeated.

[@treasurecave431]

The force awakens : where is luke The last jedi : who is luke The rise of skywalker : why is luke

[@skyguy8786]

the sequel trilogy is abt the undoing of luke

[@treasurecave431]

@@skyguy8786 yup and specifically anakin too. And the irony is a fucking palpatine is the last one standing.

[@cyclone4273]

@@treasurecave431 At this point its all about palpatine

[@cranbury25]

The Force Awakens : Fuck the OT The Last Jedi : Fuck the PT, OT, & TFA The Rise of Skywalker : Fuck the PT, OT, TFA, & TLJ

[@niewesoa5299]

But no one ever really asks how is luke

[@Obi-Wan_Kenobi]

Remember when Mark Hamill didn't like what they did to Luke and all the Last Jedi fans disrespected and ignored him? He was just the precursor. Now the entire cast can taste the disappointment Mark was forced to drown in.

[@jedi196]

Well no, true fans didn't ignore him. In fact they highlighted what he said and was backing him up the whole way. Pretty unfair that you said everyone disrespected and ignored him when it was the opposite of that with the actual fans.

[@theflyluciano7877]

@@jedi196 Hello there! My man Obi-Wan here said all The Last Jedi fans not all Star Wars fans

[@donaldjgumpofficial5754]

It's possible that the rest of the cast didn't want to jeopardise their roles in episode 9 so they waited.

[@jedi196]

@@theflyluciano7877 ah yes I see that now. Thanks for pointing it out :)

[@theflyluciano7877]

@@jedi196 It's alright, alright, alright. Misreading things happen to the best of us (meaning you a Jedi are the best of us)

[@togepiss]

It's so sad watching the director hopelessly stare at his cast for the smallest form of affirmation

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

It _would_ be sad but that director is loathsome hack JJ Abrams so it's actually heartwarming to watch.

[@All2Meme]

@@BiggieTrismegistus The JJ stands for JarJar, so it all fits together when you think about it that way.

[@0That_Guy0]

Mauler: Why are you so angry all the time?! Kylo: I read the script.

[@gyst8878]

This is how a generations spanning franchise dies, with roaring laughter.

[@estebancuadra02]

Gyst Underrated gem of a comment

[@shaecouture7480]

And thunderous Faps

[@GrayderFox]

I mean, this *is* a fucking tragic waste of a story but I had to avoid busting a gut laughing in public after hearing the Empire lost *because they couldn't go up*.

[@hoosier3060]

Gray guess they needed space viagra or something...

[@marredcheese]

Unfortunately, like Palpatine, Star Wars has been dead before...

[@death-king1834]

Remember Anakin's whole reason for turning over to evil in Revenge of the Sith was derived from his fear of losing his wife and Palpatine's promises of them learning the power to save her? But apparently the Light Side had the means of accomplishing that already. So it makes Vader's whole reason for turning bad completely pointless.

[@arikutin1032]

😄😄😄😆😆😆😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 I literally never realized that before now! That's hilarious!

[@whitworth5s248]

Yet completely justified because at no point did any Jedi bother to tell him that this could be done.

[@Capri_00]

Wow, greatest point ever!!! But Anakin wasn’t a Gary Lou.

[@arikutin1032]

@@whitworth5s248 why wouldn't they? The whole point of the Light Side is healing and protection. If it existed, the Jedi would be teaching this one.

[@themapplesperiod]

I loathe this movie, but to be intellectually honest you could come up with an explanation like 'Rey could only do it because it was a dark side power Sheev had but sort of in reverse. And Kylo did because of the connection between the two I guess, fuck it why not.' But then the movie would've actually had to acknowledge this and not act like it was totally normal to do that.

[@tunabones5534]

I don’t understand how the people responsible for this could let this happen unless everyone involved with the writing absolutely despises Star Wars

[@cosmictreason2242]

You get it

[@lordtornado3321]

Some wise guy said this on the other side of KZbin: "It actually all started with the Force Awakens. It literally undid everything the original heroes achieved. Relagated Luke to an island, leia to a failed general, and Han back to his smuggling ways. Turned a rebellion that won back into a small pack of "resistance" It also narrowed the world down again to just Skywalkers and recloned Vader and the empire in Kylo and the first order. I don't know why so many people fail to see how terrible of a setup TFA was for the rest of the sequels" And it sums up MOST of the problems perfectly IMO.

[@Novodantis]

Absolutely. TFA already fucked up the plot by the opening crawl.

[@mauridelb]

It is ironic that this trilogy tries to be so "nostalgic" and offers "fanservice", but at the same time destroys the entire history of the original trilogy. Everything the heroes of the original trilogy did was in vain.

[@annnee6818]

Yes. It would make me furious if it wasn't so sad. I'm ignoring everything after the OT because 90% of it stinks.

[@krieghart5515]

Yeah, what was the point of fan service when the fans it was servicing will notice how it undermines what the fans were fans of to begin with? Fuckng stupid and incompetent to the point of chaotic villainy.

[@Alknix]

Now it wasn't. That was then, this is now. Nobody promised that evil would be vanquished forever, and if that's what you imagined, it's your problem. There was a 30 year gap, for fuck's sake! You know what that equals to? The gap between WWI (you know, "the war to end all wars') and WWII. I wonder if there might be some parallel here.

[@2nd_Directorate]

@@Alknix What you say makes absolute sense...IF it would be a new evil. Using the "old" one, who was allready defeated is straight up making the OT and everything our heroes did obsolete. And btw your analogy doesn´t hold truth, as there were different "evils" but i guess that escaped you. You just saw the WW I and WW II title and thought it is a continuation and belongs together...

[@krieghart5515]

@@Alknix That's nice you came up with all that, but the problem is they don't tell the story of how that happened. It's more or less fine for it to happen but it also has to make sense. The writers make no attempt at explaining anything, they just pitch the accomplishments of the OT off the roof just so they can copy it in a flashier, meaningless way. Disney Star Wars is a plagiarizing, greedy abomination that failed to capture what made the OT last all these years, which is a simple story and fleshed out, relatable characters who are shown to care about each other. Hell, most movies to come out in the last few years have been exploiting sensitive topics in order to appear on the moral good side when in actuality, they're just selling what's trendy. They don't care about equality or activism, only what they think will sell. If they had worked on the writing on top of pushing sensitive topics in an escapist adventure IP, they probably would stand to make exponentially larger stacks of cash, so it just shows how incompetent they are on top of their greed. It's indefensible unless you're completely delusional.

[@DarthDevorin]

"She trains now!" "She trains now?" "She trains now."

[@2nd_Directorate]

Lets be honest, she didn´t train. She showed off her mastery of the force with never before seen force control.

[@KneelB4Bacon]

"She flys now!"

[@exhumedlegume8870]

Too little, _too late..._

[@guidologo]

We already had a train in solo didn't we 😉

[@doommetaldarryl6689]

OH MY GOD, LOOK AT HER GO!

[@MelonHead78]

Fans: we had a deal! You promised us an epic sequel to the OT Disney: I am altering the deal, pray I don’t alter it any further

[@thatoneguy-kj9nk]

Underrated comment

[@curtiskretzer8898]

🍿No.Please. "Alter it" further🍿

[@lukeroberson2115]

Fans: This deal is getting worse all the time. Disney: Here is a unicycle!

[@RainbowMan9407]

I've never seen a movie more terrified of upsetting people. Ironic, isn't it?

[@blackenedwritings]

End of VI Obi Wan Force Ghost: "Should we tell them Palpatine still lives?" Yoda Force Ghost: "Nah." Anakin Force Ghost: "lol"

[@Arkyubus]

Force Ghost is a light side power. The dark side users leave remnants of themselves on items, or... They're supposed to, or used to... Who fuckin knows anymore...

[@brandond9181]

Anakin: "Are you kidding? This is where the fun begins!"

[@ehellstrom7127]

@@Arkyubus There's a simple explanation to this. Anything that comes from Disney is not Star Wars, it's Shit Wars instead. And therefore can be dumped into the toilet.

[@Arkyubus]

@@ehellstrom7127 Mandalorian is pretty great. Fallen Order is really great. Movies are garbo for the most part; I actually liked the Force Awakens; they could have had an interesting about a galaxy that is in a never-ending cycle of war and rebellion, and the trilogy could have explored the reason why. I wish all the things it set up weren't squandered in The Last Jedi, and then spiraled out of control in Rise of Skywalker.

[@ehellstrom7127]

@@Arkyubus I don't really care if Disney bumbled their way into decent stories. As long as they continue to call this festering pile of a trilogy canon, then as far as I am concerned it is the canon for Shit Wars which includes everything else they touched.

[@papaofthejohns5882]

“I’m Peter by the way” “Rey Skywalker” “Oh, we’re using our made up names? I’m Spiderman then.” Was the perfect conclusion to this rant 😂

[@aidanmattys7488]

Loved it so goddamn much. That edit was more satisfying than the end of the entire "skywalker saga"

[@dongxx]

Actually she's Rey mclunky

[@wopjohn]

Rey Jettster

[@aidanmattys7488]

Rey Jebwalker

[@Rishi123456789]

Rey Shitwalker.

[@andrewadams8601]

I love explanation that the Knights of Ren ended up being so incompetent that they just got lost on the way to TLJ lol

[@Philip54622]

Lol I had to rewind that twice it was too good

[@All2Meme]

Not only did they lose their way, but they lost the script to the Sequel Trilogy that didn't suck.

[@YeTism]

George Lucas is a flawed genius. His writing wasn’t always great, but who cares. He knew how to build a fantastic world and captivate an audience. No one else can make a Star Wars movie

[@berliner0]

Too right

[@Klespyrian]

I'd watch a Peter Jackson Star Wars movie

[@YunethAlwis]

wait, isn't his writing great, just not the execution?

[@papryk3102]

There are many talented and proven writers and directors who could make films set in this universe which would tell meaningful stories respectful of the lore and the world of Star Wars. It's just that such people don't get hired by Disney and they never will because they would not cooperate in writing and directing their films with a corporate AI that makes idiotic decisions based on what will lead to 0.1% more sales in tickets and merch.

[@YeTism]

@@papryk3102 I’d watch a Denis Villeneuve star wars movie

[@SiddharthShenoy]

“Hi, I’m Peter Parker”... “Rey Skywalker”... “Oh we’re using our made up names? I’m Spider-Man then”

[@suffering-everyday]

she buried your lightsaber in the sand next to your mom

[@claws811]

@@suffering-everyday yeah

[@vakentine8173]

Wow this is amazing... Hope you have a good day!

[@jamesteller7791]

It's OK ani

[@davidripley2916]

My made-up name is Awesome Bastard! * Disclaimer - Not really, it's Awesome (The bit I made up)

[@TheMedievalNerd]

"What's your name?" "Rey." "Rey who?" Rey looks around. "Rey Star Wars" Rey winks to the camera. DIRECTED BY JJ ABRAMS

[@Spaceman2921]

This was the point where I stood up and applauded in the cinema.

[@T--kq3pj]

Who even asks question like that. Rey who? Who talks like that?!

[@RanMouri82]

@@T--kq3pj James Bond. Rey is new 007.

[@gokakarotku]

Nice job stealing jokes 👍

[@marscld252]

Hahaha! I would've added two points for the movie if that had happened, upping it to a 3/10. Still better than TLJ and TFA's -7 and -2.

[@AliceBowie]

Let's just assume that Palpatine took over Rey's body, and just played it cool and didn't tell anyone. Then he buries the lighsabers as an intentional insult, and says his name is skywalker to gloat, knowing he's gonna do bad stuff in their name.

[@dodojesus4529]

Probably play the long game, train "jedi" gain ever more control inside the new republic. Remember time is no longer a factor since palps can just posses another young body. Sheev dominatus

[@Mothbean]

Go for Papa Palpatine!

[@thathandsomedevil0828]

Don't write the story for incompetent writers, it is pure garbage.

[@StarWarsomania]

I actually had an idea for a fanfic based on this premise. It would be told through the POV of a character who’d recognized him in Rey, but Palpatine had backed him into a political corner where absolutely nobody believed him, and he could do nothing but panic from the middle distance. A dystopian story would just sort of leave that as an ambiguous/open ending. A more hopeful story would have the POV character find a way around his machinations, and have the only other character who knew (Rey, trapped inside her body like a Goa’uld host) help him expunge the “Sith soul” from her body. My muse is unfortunately wandering the back hills of nowhere, and she only shows up to throw good prompts at my face to just run away again.

[@aronthedev3074]

​@@StarWarsomaniathat would be a way more interesting story than anything Disney is capable of atm. Palpatine would use Rey just as he did his political power in the prequels, putting pieces in place that will benefit him later but under the guise of doing it for the "good of the galaxy." Everyone sees Rey as the ultimate hero and so never really questions what she's doing, except for this one person who knows the truth and desperately tries to get people to see what they see. I really like that idea!

[@Ascerious]

Han, Leia and Luke were the fortunate ones. Think about Chewbacca, who lost his year-long friends and is now stuck with Rey

[@lariotmoneus241]

Rey ended up right back where she started, on a desert planet, lying to herself about her family, and hoping for someone to return. How are we supposed to see this as hope? How is that a character arc?

[@Ramsey276one]

Character BUNGEE XD

[@derangedtortoise909]

It rimes doh dah die the sequels are balls

[@johnwatsoniv384]

It's a character arc... In a sitcom maybe.

[@thejustinsteffan]

it's like poetry it rhymes

[@erikdayne5429]

The arc is so long it goes full circle 😂

[@ryaquaza3offical]

Palpatine in the prequels: *incredibly intelligent and calculating, he caused the downfall of the Jedi order and the rise of the empire while manipulating everything from the inside* Palpatine in the sequels: “What is up my First order legions, god king Palpatine here coming at you live from the planet you need McMuffins to find”

[@karndisyodjit4090]

what about him in original trilogy?

[@Dragonage2ftw]

He was never “intelligent.”

[@mr.rufasi2729]

Dragonage2ftw he was lmfao he wouldn’t be able to take over the republic if he was dumb

[@Drakhesh]

@@Dragonage2ftw A man who single-handedly climbed all the way from the galactic backwater that was Naboo all the way to the supreme chancelor/emperorand managed to basically exterminate entire Jedi order... was not intelligent? Well fuck me sideways with a bowcaster, I do NOT wanna meet the intelligent one then.

[@mr.rufasi2729]

Jackson Allen sure buddy ok

[@TGtornadoe]

Rey started on a sand planet and ended on a sand planet… theory. The entire trilogy was a hallucination by Rey.

[@sijul6483]

More believable than most things in the script.

[@scienceviking4490]

That's the best interpretation I've seen of this trilogy.

[@dodojesus4529]

She stayed outside a lil while to long and is currently coming down from a big case of heatstroke

[@spartan5713]

Welcome to Disney Star Wars, where: -Being run through by a lightsaber doesn’t kill you -Being thrown down a shaft, your body exploding, and then your body being further destroyed with the Death Star exploding doesn’t kill you…(side note, thing still looked in pretty good shape after being blown into a million pieces in Jedi) -Being sucked out into the vacuum of space doesn’t kill you. -Being shot by Chewie’s blaster and sliced across the head doesn’t kill you. -But a simple force projection kills the greatest Jedi through exhaustion.🙄

[@jacobmonks3722]

Being sucked into space kills you, but you can survive for a short time, assuming you don't implode from the lack of pressure (some advice, exhale everything if you ever have to be in a vacuum). Leia being a Jedi is an easy justification for her lasting longer. Also remember she was hospitalized and out of commission almost the whole rest of the movie, so it still had huge consequences. She didn't just move past it; she barely survived. Luke's projection is the single most intense usage of the Force we've seen in any of the movies. In Episode 5, Luke struggled with basic telekinesis, and in Episode 6, presumably after years of practice and honing his skills, he still couldn't fully control all his thoughts and emotions when it mattered most. There are always going to be feats that are difficult even for trained Jedi, and Force Projection just happened to be too much for Luke's old and out-of-practice body. I have no defense for the other ones, though. Palpatine should have stayed dead, and Kylo Ren, in general, is mishandled in the last movie.

[@XanderKarr]

“they can’t activate shield in atmosphere” *gungans enter the chat*

[@thinkwithurdipstick]

Well clearly the sith weren’t bombad enough to get their shields to work

[@Mozoleum27]

A new challenger, lol.

[@danielchew8739]

Droideka: am I a joke to you?

[@kylescoolclips]

those were rayshields, but you have a point nonetheless

[@Mozoleum27]

Durge:Do you even know me? I got those on my fucking hands that could deflect lightsaber blows

[@vanz681]

Anakin: *Hates sand* Rey: *Buries his lightsaber with sand*

[@runningoncylinders3829]

That’s like Indiana Jones hiding his whip amongst a crowd of similar-looking snakes. He would Never!

[@afriendlycadian9857]

@@runningoncylinders3829 just thinkong about that made me choke on my water

[@isaac14ac]

How dare she so disrespectful first she does that then steals they’re name! Give us more reason to hate her.

[@SirDankleberry]

Anakin: *I H A T E Y O U*

[@kneau]

Vanz worse yet, Rey *Ruins* his lightsaber with sand. Finely crafted things rarely remain unscathed once “introduced” to the equivalent of beach sand.

[@montyboon4127]

What really pisses me off about force heal is how much it breaks the canon. Every single death could be summed up with "but they could have forced healed them". I was watching clone wars with my mum who doesnt watch much extended universe star wars and satine got game ended, my mum said the best thing ever "why didnt obi wan just yknow, do the force thing that revives everyone" and i was like "spot on, if its a thing, why not do it?"

[@spartanonxy]

In old EU force heal was a thing but came pretty much in two forms. One was a form of first aid. It was not able to fix severe wounds. And was a rare power. The second made people heal faster and was common but at best it turned 3 weeks to heal to 1 week to heal. There was only ONE exception that the EU went out of its way to portray as well exactly that a exception. Even by Jedi and Sith it was treated as a outlier bordering on full blown miracle. Yes healing can be done with the force in old EU but it was bound in rules. This is the biggest problem with the force in the sequel trilogy. It is not bound in any rules or guidelines. It is just plot contrived nonsense.

[@donovandelozier7156]

"Force thing that revives everyone" because to revive someone you need to trade all your own life force.

[@tigadirt]

I'm so embarresed that i didn't think about how ridiculous a quick sand ceiling would be until he pointed it out.

[@DS-mo1xf]

She took their life. She took their weapons. She took Leia's son. She took their victory. What more could she take? Might as well take their name.

[@Straker9063]

And Po's robot

[@stlchucko]

And their moisture farm

[@DanceySteveYNWA]

And Lukes xwing

[@danielburks2257]

She also buried their lightsabers on the planet that was painful for them. Let me list some things that happened there. 1. Anakin was a slave 2. Qui-Gon died there 3. Anakin's Mom died there 4. Anakin killed not just the men but the women and the children 5. Luke's "uncle" died there 6. They had to rescue Han 7. Leia was a slave

[@ProfessorFanatic]

To Daniel Burks: Qui-Gon died on Naboo, but I see what you mean. More bad things than good are associated with Tatooine in terms of the movies.

[@cazabrow1967]

"Who are you?" "Rey" "Rey who?" "Reypublic Senate" Force ghost Mace Windu: "not yet."

[@cha02psc]

Cazabrow so... it’s t-Rey-son then?

[@purpleemerald5299]

Pedagogue Squinting *”RRRRREEEEEYYYYY!!!!!”*

[@tekakiuluy3221]

I see you're one of the padawans in r/prequelmemes aswell

[@thecheesefactor]

“Sweet Princess, if through this wicked witch’s trick, a spindle should your finger prick. A ray of hope there still may be in this, the gift I give to thee.” “And from this slumber you shall wake, when true love’s kiss, the spell shall break.”

[@cazabrow1967]

@@tekakiuluy3221 Shit, he knows..

[@DirtyDozen6612]

Palpatine firing lighting at Rey whilst his face is getting melted made me laugh out loud in the cinema

[@JadenMoon1475]

But.... why though?!?!? *_MACE WINDU DID THE EXACT SAME TO HIM IN REVENGE OF THE SITH!!!!!_*

[@lorenzobarbato4558]

​@@JadenMoon1475 In Revenge of the Sith it's clear Palpatine does it to show Anakin that, if he stopped using the lightning, Windu would have struck him down with the lightsaber and to force Anakin to react, since he wes becoming too weak for that reason. I could elaborate more if needed

[@ciarangrainger2465]

What was your reaction to the ending of TRoS? Daisy Ridley: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 😬 John Boyega: 😑 Oscar Isaac: *Silently raging* Ian McDiarmid: Da fuk was that??? Kelly Marie Tran: 😱 Naomi Ackie: Keep it together 😭 J.J. Abrams: 🥺 why you not like muh movie?

[@lukefrederiks5906]

“Commander Mauler. The time has come.” “Execute Order: Unbridled Rage”

[@S3rp3nte]

"It would be done, my lord."

[@PowerfulSkeleton]

Execute EFAP #66.

[@amanibob1416]

"Roger-roger." Random bot

[@PittsburghSonido]

HES TOO UNBRIDLED TO BE LEFT ALIVE

[@grandarkfang_1482]

*Perfect Cell Scream intensifies*

[@TheArcher143]

The next movie better start with Luke waking up and realising these last 3 movies have just been a bad dream.

[@marekkralik8290]

Hah,brilliant!That will make more sense then wholw sequel trifuckinglogy

[@-cams.]

and he just woke up from partying too hard with his friends after Episode VI lol

[@sadnessofwildgoats]

I heard a rumor from a reliable source that the prequel trilogy will be erased from the in universe timeline.

[@MrMah-zf6jk]

@@sadnessofwildgoats uh huh sure.

[@kierrakim4761]

Then he goes and tries to kill Ben who is sleeping in his Jedi School, starting the cycle over again

[@tcook6759]

I love this rant. Nobody can rip on a bad movie like Mauler can. Excellent video.

[@Kevin-jb2pv]

I like to imagine that Kylo was perfectly fine after he healed Rey, but then she was so attrociously bad at kissing that it killed him instantly.

[@skeletorrobo]

Disney Original Starwars treatment. Han: Stabbed Luke: Vaporised Leia: Shamed to death Vader: sacrifice meaningless. Chewie: blanked by Leia. Lando: robots M.Falcon: hacked by L3-37 C3P0: 'friends' can't stand him R2D2: replaced by a ball. Adml. Ackbar: blown up Palpatine: wins

[@jackbrown2838]

Yes

[@mundogameplay1341]

Vader’s sacrifice isn’t meaningless, he saved is son, “killed the emperor, redeemed himself, and if that wasn’t enough... He destroyed the Imperial Leadership by killing the Emperor Although I like Dark Empire over ROS Having said that, Indeed, Disney screwed the Sequels...badly...very badly

[@calt7964]

@@mundogameplay1341 Vader’s sacrifice has been dampened, and made worthless by this movie because the emperor wasn’t killed and his son still died trying to dismantle the empire they believed had been destroyed when they originally “killed the emperor.” His sacrifice meant accomplished nothing in the grand scheme of things. TL;DR The empire lives on as the first order, his son still dies to the empire he tried to destroy, and the emperor wasn’t actually killed by Vader. So his sacrifice has a lost a lot of its previous weight and meaning.

[@calt7964]

Though I do agree it isn’t entirely meaningless. He saved his son in the moment, I just believe that his sacrifice has lost a lot of meaning.

[@mundogameplay1341]

@@calt7964 If you said it like that, yeah, at least in canon his sacrifice has lost a lot of meaning!!!

[@chrisandrew7577]

"Here's a mcmuffin" Genuinely made me laugh my ass off

[@jebo4jc]

Lost it at the huge ass cable "data transfer" discussion. Should have just written it on a piece of paper and tied it to a rock 😂

[@drewwagner5227]

“I killed a guy who had a military ID and now every military base lets me in no questions asked” - ROS writers

[@doubleyellows6742]

As if with this level of technology they would rely on a literal ID card for that kind of thing anyway. Even in ROTJ they used access codes, not actual ID cards.

[@logicaldude3611]

@@doubleyellows6742 "It's one of the codes that lets people go wherever they want sir, so it checks out."

[@doubleyellows6742]

@@logicaldude3611 😂

[@Kevin-jb2pv]

This is why I regularly attack servicemen.

[@thebystander1636]

To be fair, while I was enlisted, this was actually a thing. Except it was your car. Had you stole an enlisted guys car you could have gotten on any US Marine Corps base in the states. You got a little red/blue sticker that went on your windshield, and as long as you didn't have hippie hair, they just waved you on through the gates as long as you had that sticker. Terrorist with bombs or not, ohhh well!

[@Aerolian]

Anakin: "I don't like sand - it's coarse and irritating and it gets everywhere." Rey: LOL *Proceeds to bury his Lightsaber in the same planet that he was enslaved in and the same planet that he expressed his utter disgust for its coarse sand. Continuity at its finest.

[@cb_norwood]

Well after all the sequel saga is about the ultimate all-encompassing defeat of the Skywalkers at the hands of the Palpatines.

[@shawklan27]

Don't you remember guys?! The prequels aren't canon in the sequel trilogy!

[@busterbladex]

You can actually say the same for Luke Skywalker. He literally wanted nothing more than to leave Tantoinne and be somewhere else.... hell, you can say the same for Leia because she was never born or even know the planet...

[@steevrawjers]

Flash Out lol more like contempt

[@steevrawjers]

CB Norwood true that's for sure

[@joeker5208]

This is one of the greatest films of all time. I have never seen a film so desperate, so pathetic, spiteful, and ashamed of it’s mediocrity in my life. I can not watch this movie without laughing my ass off. 14/10, wouldn’t watch again

[@ibtgb2]

I’m wondering why one of the “resistance” fighters decided “hey, we’re launching an assault on the emperor and the entire first order’s thousand ship army, should I bring the horses?”

[@gayflower900]

Finn has the best and most consistent character arc in the whole trilogy Episode 7: “REY” Episode 8: “REEYYYY” Episode 9: “REEEEEYYYYYY”

[@tengkuhafiz4174]

As the Y in Rey got longer, he’ll eventually end up shouting Reyyyyyyyyyy’d Shadow legends

[@sweetyeetus]

This comment is criminally underrated. XD

[@haillobster7154]

Best black character in film!

[@Sockren]

@@olskoolkool3342why you gotta get so political on us bro

[@olskoolkool3342]

@@Sockren Dude! My bad - I often listen to Mauler in bed, and must have rolled on my phone and dropped all those emojis 🤣 Your comment is the only reason I realized 😜

[@Milkra]

Fun fact: the transmission palpatine sent through the galaxy offscreen can be heard in the Fortnite Star Wars tie in event. That’s right, Fortnite is now canonically relevant to the full Star Wars story.

[@tadpolegaming4510]

Jesus Christ

[@georgelea4297]

Oh what joy

[@matteolucchi1205]

😂(😥)🔫

[@MLPDethDealr32]

Wasnt that also a plot point in the 2015 Battlefront game as well?

[@thinkwithurdipstick]

Y’all remember when video games were based on the movies, not crucial parts of them? I member.

[@JonAleksanderKrancan]

2022 and still watching this now. Thanks Mauler.

[@anthonyelliott8995]

I used to think the sequel trilogy was a tragedy, now I realize it's a comedy.

[@afierymess2307]

That is how one of the most influential stories of all time end. With thunderous laugh.

[@darklord884]

But who gets what they fucking deserve? JJ? Johnson? Palpatine? Rey? Po?

[@donalddeluxe6407]

With this new trilogy, they managed to rip off dark empire in the shittiest way possible! The new ‘xyston’ class star destroyers are ripoffs of the eclipse class star destroyer as well as palpatine being reborn on a hard to find planet? Yep, exo gul is a basic ripoff of byss! But the dark empire storyline makes way more sense narratively and can be a great story to put on screen but......

[@aridianknight3576]

Anthony Elliott it’s just a modern Greek play

[@kwazhims3lf]

i'm not sure about the sequel trilogy... like.. is this supposed to be Alfred?

[@SiddharthShenoy]

You know Rey isn't a true Skywalker when doesn't have a single arm cut off.

[@domenicodipippo1957]

Well tbh Leia didn’t lose a limb or anything either.

[@MrDwarfpitcher]

@@domenicodipippo1957 True but Leia didnt try a lightsaber There was a recurring theme Anakin: "I got years of training, I can do it!" *Arm gets cut off* Luke: "I am a war hero with training now, I can do it!" *Arm gets cut off* Leia didnt try that kind of shenanigans with a Sith and just grabbed a pistol

[@misfit1nx865]

@@MrDwarfpitcher 🤣🤣🤣

[@calebplasma0612]

@@domenicodipippo1957 yeah but she doesn’t use the last name skywalker because she was adopted by bail organa

[@domenicodipippo1957]

@@calebplasma0612 so what? She came out the same load as Luke

[@shermanballz]

Even without the explosion: Leia and Luke are old as hell, and Palatine was already old when their dad was a little boy. What is he, like 120?

[@StarWarsomania]

Assuming he was at least 50 at TPM. That makes him about 60 in AotC. And let’s round up and say 65 in RotS. Luke and Leia are a little less than 20 in ANH, so he’d be in his early to mid 80s. Let’s say 85. TFA takes place 30 years after the Battle of Yavin. So, yeah, he’d be 115. Turns out his birthdate is 84 BBY, so yeah. 30 years plus one year between TLJ and TROS is 115 years young baby.

[@glauberglousger956]

I mean... There's nothing that says the Dark Side prevents you from going senile, add that to being in a broken body unable to handle his power, and I think Sheev lost a few brain cells Or maybe it's all due to him being old

[@thekeegster6278]

Despite the flaws of the prequels, the story and writing is immaculate. Having a hopeful young hero turned into a manipulated tragic figure by a villain that wins not because of brute force (heh), but through years of meticulous planning is perfect. Anakin’s main drive was to save the ones he loved from dying, and Palpatine knew this, and Palpatine was able to effortlessly manipulate Anakin to the dark side through years of neglect and betrayal from the Jedi Order. We hardly see writing like this in movies nowadays and I think this is what makes Star Wars so special. The sequels are made by a bunch of five year olds smashing action figures together and written as such. I’m more than fine with putting episodes 7-9 into the rivers of Mustafar where it belongs and never acknowledging that it’s canon.

[@tyrannozilla]

Prequels > Disney

[@toothgrinder2760]

“The sequels are made by a bunch of 5 year olds smashing action figures together and written as such.” “The sequels are made by a bunch of 5 year olds smashing action figures together and written as such ^whom Ioathe George Lucas, and wanted to destroy his legacy.”

[@billjacobs521]

Well, you can't say the writing was "immaculate" when the dialogue was so often shit. But yes, the prequels do have alot of good to them, they are just flawed--the sequels are pretty much constructed of flaws.

[@jez76]

The prequels could’ve been so much better had George left the directors chair to someone else. Someone who could’ve pointed out weak points and challenged some decisions. But the main story of Anakins fall and Palpatines rise is fantastic.

[@Pimploaf_YTP]

The writing in the prequels is terrible but I prefer it to bland corporate floundering

[@devastator06]

finally a worse love story than twilight

[@cartooncritique6625]

I thought that was "Fifty Shades of Gray".

[@Stigma-ba115]

@@cartooncritique6625 Fifty shades of REY

[@tessalyn6895]

@@cartooncritique6625 that doesn't count since it is literally a twilight fanfiction

[@cartooncritique6625]

@@tessalyn6895 Fair point.

[@yojez]

That’s exactly what I was thinking! Who fucking thought that having her hook up with a dude that murdered his father was a good idea? It’s so much worse

[@Luccaluke]

It has been stated a million times and it shall be stated a million times more: The expanded universe died for this!

[@IRMentat]

Luccaluke More like. Star Wars:Disney is dead, long live Star Wars:EU! (Not EA, EU)

[@Liberator130]

@HorizonEngine05 Fallen Order is probably one of the best written stories out of the new Star Wars continuity, and it still has massive problems in regards to the writing, including character motivations and plot holes.

[@kaptainkabul9499]

Thrawn triology is my canon ending. Not caring one bit for Disney.

[@Liberator130]

​@HorizonEngine05 ​ Gotcha. I feel mixed on the mechanics of the game. Mostly, I think Upper Echelon Gaming had a great assessment on the game.

[@paulnaughton9923]

EU Fans: Legends never die.

[@Mick-hp4yg]

I love Anthony Daniels at the beginning. He made such a WTF face and didn't even care that JJ was right there 😂

[@JanniTV]

Sheevino Palpationo was the Leader of Both Clone wars sides, led an Empire, killed the Jedi Order yet this Film Portraits him as a Dumb person. Magnificent

[@afinch93]

Having palpatine back completely undermines Anakins sacrifice.

[@AAron-jj7zx]

And Luke didn't bring balance to the force.

[@ViceArancibia]

@@AAron-jj7zx but a nobody did. Sorry Sheev's granddaughter

[@bavarianpotato]

@@AAron-jj7zx well luke was never really supposed to, anakin is and was the chosen one.

[@kingmaoh5566]

@@bavarianpotato Technically Anakian's sacrifice was supposed to bring balance to the force

[@MajinMist603]

​@@bavarianpotato Luke was suppose to bring a new order that uses both light and dark ( they don't see it like that because the force is the force there is no bad and good sides it just how you use it) .

[@gganbp]

Luke wakes up in the little tree house on Endor after the party with the Ewoks last night. "Now that was a very weird dream", he says. And then this movie ends.

[@theorionproject6172]

A heavy night on the blue milk.

[@nathaniel04]

One too many death sticks for Luke!

[@pantognost]

Pedro :P ok. From now on this is what happened as far as I’m concerned. Thanks for the solution mate.

[@gganbp]

@@pantognost I'm not the first one to think of this, I saw it in another video. I don't remember which one, tho

[@adamfrisk956]

@@lillostmiracle568 And rethink your life

[@vincents1087]

“I want to move away from that stupid to talk about a different stupid” 😅

[@bettylim5148]

"I'm peter parker." "Rey skywalker." "Oh we're using our made up names...... um..... i'm spiderman then .w."

[@unlimitedninja3635]

I would've much preferred if Kylo survived and Rey died for an ending that made more sense. "who are you?" "Ben." "Ben who?" "Ben Skywalker."

[@laalaag2auntyayag776]

That would have been awesome. Wouldn’t it be Solo though? Idk, I think I’d surely use the Skywalker name too just for the clout

[@exquizzetmtg2779]

@@laalaag2auntyayag776 kylo is blatantly based on Jacen Solo (who had a twin sister named Jaina) and Benjamin Skywalker, Jacen's apprentice from Legends, seen in the Legacy of the Force series of novels

[@MobiusLeader007]

That would have given weight to the "Rise of Skywalker" title. Instead of having every Skywalker dead and a Palpatine stealing their name.

[@bkers10]

​@@laalaag2auntyayag776 If Ben did survive he would probably have to go on the run, otherwise he would be called to pay for the crimes he committed with the First Order. Changing his name from Solo to Skywalker may have helped him remain undercover while also symbolizing his return to the ways of a Jedi. It's still a tad flimsy, but I would have liked that a lot more than "Rey Skywalker." BARF!

[@darkmistico]

omg yes .. and would fit perfectly with the title of the movie.. ¨The rise of skywalker¨ who is rising if all the skywalkers are dead as f

[@jaypeterman9721]

“I reject your reality and substitute my own” This trilogy never existed and the OG wars never ruined by Disney

[@ColinPowell-ks1fl]

"Nice, dungeon master!"

[@An_Actual_Rat]

@@ColinPowell-ks1fl Is this like getting a double reference?

[@Dragonage2ftw]

It’s cringe.

[@RogueFox2185]

Dragonage2ftw Nah

[@LukeLovesRose]

I don't think anything was canon after George created those fucking special editions

[@jpanduezadlf]

In TLJ Luke didn't read the "Sacred Jedi Texts", in TROS Luke wrote them.

[@All2Meme]

Maybe Luke was smoking some of Yoda's "Dagobah Green" at the time and forgot what he wrote?

[@Toshiro93]

Disney: This was the trilogy of Star Wars you are looking for. Fan: INCORRECT

[@JadenMoon1475]

*Disney:* Lemme see your identification *_Me, holding a Force Sensitive baby girl born to Luke Skywalker & Mara Jade:_* You don't need to see her identification. *Disney:* We don't need to see her identification. *_Me:_* This isn't the baby you're looking for. *Disney:* This isn't the baby we're looking for. *_Me:_* I may go about my business as I see fit. *Disney:* You may go about your business as you see fit. *_Me:_* Have a nice stroll now. *Disney:* Have a nice stroll now. Move along.

[@richardslivingston]

"We did it boys, Star Wars is a dead franchise, not even the prequels could do that. Marvel's next." - Disney

[@cyclone4273]

Marvel started when captain marvel was released

[@duffdingelmeyer7101]

Marvel is superhero nonsense. Destroying that shitty franchise would enable those studios to devote time to making actual good movies.

[@shawklan27]

@@cyclone4273 far from home was decent but forgettable....in fact that can be said for most of their movies

[@orsonlepherd7064]

@@shawklan27 except for the infinity films

[@Ben-xj2rf]

Orson Lepherd and Guardians. And Winter Soldier.

[@KenMabie]

"everyone just dies and comes back in this film" yeah except Luke, Han and Leia you know .. the characters people actually like

[@tymgames8307]

Oh wait. I realised this at this second and then I see your comment xD. But that's so true

[@KenMabie]

@@tymgames8307 Troof

[@Jay9966]

It's probably because they are actually dead in real life or because their patience for the fucking fail reboot was spent.

[@_Aemse]

thats for episode 10 downfall of the landflyers which totally flips all tropes on their heads

[@Greg-yu4ij]

Thank God I watched this and not that JJ turd fest.

[@dababyman8039]

It’s hilarious how rey can deflect the most powerful lightning ever seen in Star Wars with ONE HAND after being significantly weakened whereas mace windu struggles vs a weaker force lightning using both this hands and not having all his life sucked out of him by a wrinkly old freak

[@user-bb1ti6ct7s]

Exactly my guy destroyed thousands of ships a few sec before, but then cant even kill a girl from which he basically took most of her soul. Disney logic is so good🤡

[@victoriuswashington8901]

I personally have contributed at least 50 of the 8.4 million views this video has. Mauler is a Beast

[@marcusa.ragnos1041]

Rey’s Christmas list to Disney: “Dear Disney, please steal for me... -Anakin/Luke’s lightsaber -Anakin/Luke’s last name -Anakin’s chosen one status -More power than Anakin or either of Anakin’s kids -Better piloting abilities than Anakin/Luke -Better engineering abilities than Anakin/Luke -Poe’s droid -Luke’s film score moment on Tatooine But please make sure I don’t challenge Leia in leadership capabilities or show me clearly being more powerful than Leia or doing things we know she can’t do. That would just be over the top. -Sincerely, The New Chosen One”

[@AkulaSpawn]

Don't forget she now owns Chewbaca's Falcon.

[@marcusa.ragnos1041]

Dang forgot a few 😂

[@mobbs6426]

The Force Un-wha.? And who's this Pussy Starkiller everyone was talking about a few years ago

[@parkeypence5974]

Don't forget Anakin's X-Wing

[@pyramidion5911]

@@parkeypence5974 your joking right

[@gankgoat8334]

I remember fondly now when Jar Jar was considered the worst thing to happen to star wars, we were so naive back then.

[@557deadpool]

@@revolverswitch Jar Jar was not that bad

[@WolfLykaios]

Naive indeed I feel so stupid

[@jorgeloredo100]

Jar Jar was supossed to be Darth Plagueis, George was going to make an amazing turn till the fans bitched him in to a corner. At least that man had a plan...

[@VileVamp]

I hated Anakin more than Jar Jar in that movie, even as a kid. Also, guy above me is totally reaching.

[@The-Secret-Door]

That confused me for a second; when I read "Jar Jar" now, I automatically think of Abrams!

[@JelloTR]

There’s no Snoke without fire. That’s why he’s immersed in water.

[@BunkerFox]

heh

[@PickledShark]

“If anything, you could skip the OT because it’s largely irrelevant compared to the larger narrative of Rey vs Palpatine” That’s easily the most damning condemnation of the sequels that I’ve heard. Absolutely true though

[@edwardwindsor2516]

"They can't activate shields in atmosphere" Droidekas: Allow us to introduce ourselves

[@Yhur4x]

Even the gungans hat deflecting handheld shields in phantom menace ffs

[@matthewmuir8884]

If it had been something about that atmosphere specifically, it might have made more sense. But even then, we know its possible to build a shield around a planet from Rogue One.

[@asandax6]

The second deathstar was protected by a shield projected from the planets Surface. I believe JJ thought Star Wars and Star Trek are the same thing.

[@rollewestbom]

Yhur4x grey even had the gigantic shield that enclosed the whole army

[@Meanpooh]

I was thinking that the whole time.