Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: An Unbridled Rage

[@MauLerYT]

Hello there! It's pretty crazy that it's been two years since I put out that video ranting about a crappy movie and now, here we are. Disney managed to make, essentially, the exact same mistake as they did in 2017 and so I have a perspective to share on the subject. This video kinda wiped me out a bit, I've been writing, editing and rendering for 3 weeks straight, little sleep/socialising but it meant getting something that normally takes about a month and a half out, in half the time. Thanks to that, there may be a couple of mistakes and corners cut but the message is mostly unmistakable; The Rise of Skywalker was awful, the sequel trilogy was a disaster... But I am thankful for what it brought my life. I'm thankful for you lot enjoying my content and supporting this channel. I guess this video marks the end of an era in a way, or at least the bookend for the two years. I have a bunch of big plans for 2020, I hope to see you lot there. o/ Also, check out Shadiversity, he makes kickass Medieval media analysis videos - kzbin.info See yah next time folks...

[@kenjithemilkman]

love u mate

[@KaneK1234]

MauLer I love you so fucking much Mauler! Do you have a patreon?

[@KaneK1234]

MauLer You are honestly incredible. That can’t be understated. The most intelligent youtuber on this platform.

[@IcePhysicsGaming]

haha! You made me think of the cloners on Kamino when you said, "in half the time".

[@TKUltra971]

JJ Abrams disliked that.

[@bentonrp]

Rey staring at the suns means nothing to her; She's never seen them before. Luke stared out at them for 19 years hoping out there was better than where he was. Nice try Rey. Nice try stealing everything.

[@KizaruB]

More like Disney stealing our childhood

[@Taojas]

Exactly. Just another example that Rey is not even a fictional character in any sense of the word but rather an Ideological construct. And this is just another example of the gaping black void of total inauthenticity at the very heart of this trilogy. It is a doppleganger draped in the flayed, dead skin of the Star Wars franchise. Maybe Kathleen should change her surname to Bolton.

[@chillyphil598]

My favourite scene of Any Star Wars film. Not an original opinion but yeah her looking into them and stealing his name is so contrived. She didn’t even Bond with Luke fuck I hate Disney

[@wacey7455]

What really bothered me about that one scene was that not only was Rey standing in the same shot with the two sun's, for some stupid reason the writer also had that stupid comic relief beach ball Droid in the same beautiful picture. It made that scene SO cheap and down right ugly. I get that they were saying the Droid was an important friend with her the entire series and they needed to be standing in the wrap up shot together, but it was so unnessesary and took away from the gravitas of what we are supposed to be seeing. Why even bother having the stupid unfunny robot be there in the ending shot? UHG.

[@pickyphysicsstudent201]

I'd rather have Rey stare at something like a dual moon rise. This being something at the start of TFA, showing how she wants to escape poverty on not-Tatooine. Yeah, it sounds dumb but would be distinct and would look cool as both a parallel to the original dual sunset but as it's own spin - kind of like what most of us wished this trilogy would be.

[@AmberSmith-zx2rp]

"I'm Rey" "Rey who?" "Uh, I don't have a last name. I'm on my own." "So... Solo."

[@TheInverseGentleman]

Fucking nice

[@LyraLyraPantsOnFyra]

Nailed it

[@ripwinkler1595]

Rey Sand

[@baphomathedude8057]

That would actually be better then her desicrating the name Skywalker

[@Torlik11]

@@ripwinkler1595 Does that mean she's coarse and rough and irritating and she gets everywhere?

[@shawnyboy77]

I also love when Rey finds the dagger she says something like "This has done terrible things." while she holds a lightsaber that has literally slaughtered a room full of children.

[@protheu5]

Don't you worry about the children. No one's ever really gone.

[@kingknightisbestknight7398]

@@protheu5 they are probably Force Ghosts too

[@SennaHawx]

@@kingknightisbestknight7398 They're probably chasing Ghost-Anakin all over the Galaxy, so he is unable to help Jake, Kylo and Rey during the plots

[@eras1066]

@@SennaHawx Stabbing his Force ankles with their Force knives.

[@TheHalogen131]

Omg that is so true! I just laughed so hard!

[@data7193]

Luke Skywalker: Fights a sith lord for the first time >Loses hand >Thrown down a garbage chute >Almost dies, needed to be rescued. Anakin Skywalker: Fights a Sith lord for the first time >Loses hand >Thrown into a pile of scrap metal unconscious > Obi Wan is also defeated, master yoda steps in Rey: Fights sith lord for the first time >wins for some reason

[@ihatemychannelname]

lost nothing and has the audacity to call herself a skywalker

[@HerohammerStudios]

You've gotta love our very own Ma-Rey Suuuuuuuueeee

[@john_1986]

"You're no sith, you can barely even hold a lightsaber!" - Anakin to Kylo Ren voiceline in Battlefront 2

[@dakotasherman632]

Thry seem to have forgotten that villains are supposed to win from time to time, and be intimidating.

[@username45739]

"Rey: Fights sith lord for the first time >wins for some reason" 1) Emu Ren wasn't a sith "lord" - he was a larper, which in itself could be taken as too much of a deconstructive/meta approach for this series. 2) There's lots of movies where the hero wins at the end of the 1st (sometimes even only!) movie, you should watch more than just Star Wars. Hell Luke didn't get violently crushed after trying to taken down a gargantuan space station that shoots lasers - if he had, and then Rey did a trenchrun and won, you'd be typing "Mary Suuueeee loololol" like a mindless fg.

[@ultimatewpn]

I'm going to pretend that when C3PO looked to the screen and said "I'm taking one last look at my friends", he was speaking to the audience.

[@soulsdancetomusic]

ultimatewpn Noooo, why would you say that!?!?!?

[@laresial]

And JJ Abrams killed him, and they friends in the film what did for save him?, nothing. Nothing at all. They did not mind at all about C2P0

[@Hirnlego999]

@@laresial I thought that was more of Rian thing to do really, C3PO and R2D2 were not exactly much in TLJ at all.

[@coh2conscript851]

Dont make me sad like that dude holy fuck

[@Overlord734]

He was replaying a footage from ep6 celebration.

[@treasurecave431]

The force awakens : where is luke The last jedi : who is luke The rise of skywalker : why is luke

[@skyguy8786]

the sequel trilogy is abt the undoing of luke

[@treasurecave431]

@@skyguy8786 yup and specifically anakin too. And the irony is a fucking palpatine is the last one standing.

[@cyclone4273]

@@treasurecave431 At this point its all about palpatine

[@cranbury25]

The Force Awakens : Fuck the OT The Last Jedi : Fuck the PT, OT, & TFA The Rise of Skywalker : Fuck the PT, OT, TFA, & TLJ

[@niewesoa5299]

But no one ever really asks how is luke

[@RawkL0bster]

“Who are you” “Rey” “Rey who” Rey looks to the distance to see Luke and Leia and the gives a little smirk on her face as she opens her mouth and says... “Rey’d Shadow Legends. With over 16 million downloads, Raid shadow legends is free, turn based game with over 400 characters to collect. The devs add 16 champions each month and are constantly updating the game.”

[@vladtepes2667]

Is this a crossover with Count Dankula?

[@gerwynjones6862]

Raya godess of the earth, wonder if she has male genitalia too.

[@csh8451]

Ah, I see you're an internet historian as well.

[@RawkL0bster]

@@gerwynjones6862 Long as it's feminine male genitalia.

[@Fangorum]

@@gerwynjones6862 - Pffff... Hwa, Hua, haaa: shezzz aw Pout-clown-sneez - so yes‽

[@michaelfraser1073]

The absolute WORST sin of this movie is how they completely destroyed Palpatine. In the OT and the PT, Palpatine was depicted as a master manipulator and tactician. This man spent over a decade carefully manipulating everything, including starting a galaxy-wide war, to engineer the downfall of the Jedi and the establishment of the Republic. He managed to manipulate the Republic against itself, ensuring that not only was the Republic dismanted, but the Senators would cheer it on. He managed to delibaretely manipulate the own great hope of the Jedi to the dark side. In this pile of ass, he creates a fleet but doesn't use it, and then alerts the galaxy to his presence before his fleet is ready.

[@sologamer3122]

Honestly as much as I love Luke, Palpatine got the worst character assassination

[@jacobmonks3722]

Palpatine in the original trilogy was just a dude in a chair who was incredibly arrogant and incredibly powerful. He didn't have really any layers to him until the prequel trilogy. But he still had a great and imposing presence, but not as much as Vader himself.

[@unimpartialobserver]

@@jacobmonks3722 I direct your attention to his arrival on the Death Star as an indication that you are not correct. When he emerges from the shuttle, the first thing you see clearly is his hands. His hands are almost always in frame when he is. He is meant to be seen as a master manipulator, and his goading and taunting of Luke throughout their meeting is indeed masterful. His downfall is that he underestimates the power of love, something he lacks.

[@jacobmonks3722]

@juliebartlett4222 Yes, but I wouldn't call that a particularly interesting or deep character. Thematically appropriate? Sure. Memorable? Absolutely. Like I said, just the feeling of his presence is his best quality. But did anybody really watch the OT and think, "I bet this guy has a lot of interesting interpersonal relationships and drama in his life and has a very compelling motivation for doing what he does." I'm willing to bet the number of people who actually thought that in the 80s was in the single digits.

[@StarWarsomania]

@@jacobmonks3722 Did you actually, you know, WATCH the OT?

[@Milkra]

“I am all the sith” “And I am all the Jedi” Someone was paid to write this

[@MediumRareOpinions]

"I'm every women, its all in me..."

[@spandsbab]

Obi-Wan: Anakin you were the chosen one! Rey to self: Hihihi, I am the ONLY one... How to ruin 40 years of Star Wars in just 2 sentences...

[@Thatslifebro_]

I AM THE LAAAAAWWWWW!

[@scottski02]

@@MediumRareOpinions "I'M EVERY WHAMEN!" --Batwoman trailer

[@jgfear]

And I am Iron Man

[@gyst8878]

This is how a generations spanning franchise dies, with roaring laughter.

[@estebancuadra02]

Gyst Underrated gem of a comment

[@shaecouture7480]

And thunderous Faps

[@GrayderFox]

I mean, this *is* a fucking tragic waste of a story but I had to avoid busting a gut laughing in public after hearing the Empire lost *because they couldn't go up*.

[@hoosier3060]

Gray guess they needed space viagra or something...

[@marredcheese]

Unfortunately, like Palpatine, Star Wars has been dead before...

[@burr69]

This entire trilogy could’ve been redeemed if Rey, at the end, said “I’m Rey palpatine” and then electrocuted that old lady

[@marekkralik8290]

Well,shit ... I agree holy fucking shit that woud be hillarious.

[@griffith4723]

No, no, no. It would’ve been funnier if she said “the force is female” out of nowhere and electrocute her with the sky instead of her hands. She then proceeds to be in every episode and movie and issue of Star Wars media and make it a fucking comedy, while being an all-out feminist.

[@adrianogoulartcarvalho7144]

The movie would still have a lot of problems, but at least it would've been something

[@somedude5581]

The only way to fix this trilogy is to retcon and reboot episodes 7-9.

[@zenosol234]

@@somedude5581 and maybe this time, actually plan ahead. write more than a single episode instead and just make up more as you go along

[@NourArt02]

Watching 2 hours of the actual movie: ✕ Watching 2 hours of someone roasting the movie: ✓

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

I've never seen the sequel trilogy and I love watching KZbins tearing them apart. It's like it's own little sub genre.

[@HansVHimmelreich]

@@BiggieTrismegistussadly i paid a cinema to watch these and I can tell you, the roasts of these horrible trashpiles are far more entertaining than the movies, imagine the world without consequences for your actions, that what feminists want and these movies want

[@liamphibia]

They offer better insight and entertainment than the people behind these damn films.

[@Alysa-Aiday]

*_Po sinking in the sand:_* I HATE YOU!! *_Rey:_* YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!! IT WAS SAID YOU'D BE MY RIVAL, NOT LOVE INTEREST!! BRING CONFLICT TO MY STORY, NOT GIVE IT A PRINCE CHARMING!!

[@Alysa-Aiday]

When you get more genuine laughter from a slip of the tongue; *_Saying McMuffin when you mean McGuffin,_* than from "JoKeS" within the movie..... Yeeeeah..... It's time for retirement, jail, and *_Seriously expensive long-term_* therapy.

[@edwardwindsor2516]

"They can't activate shields in atmosphere" Droidekas: Allow us to introduce ourselves

[@Yhur4x]

Even the gungans hat deflecting handheld shields in phantom menace ffs

[@matthewmuir8884]

If it had been something about that atmosphere specifically, it might have made more sense. But even then, we know its possible to build a shield around a planet from Rogue One.

[@asandax6]

The second deathstar was protected by a shield projected from the planets Surface. I believe JJ thought Star Wars and Star Trek are the same thing.

[@rollewestbom]

Yhur4x grey even had the gigantic shield that enclosed the whole army

[@Meanpooh]

I was thinking that the whole time.

[@mauridelb]

It is ironic that this trilogy tries to be so "nostalgic" and offers "fanservice", but at the same time destroys the entire history of the original trilogy. Everything the heroes of the original trilogy did was in vain.

[@annnee6818]

Yes. It would make me furious if it wasn't so sad. I'm ignoring everything after the OT because 90% of it stinks.

[@krieghart5515]

Yeah, what was the point of fan service when the fans it was servicing will notice how it undermines what the fans were fans of to begin with? Fuckng stupid and incompetent to the point of chaotic villainy.

[@Alknix]

Now it wasn't. That was then, this is now. Nobody promised that evil would be vanquished forever, and if that's what you imagined, it's your problem. There was a 30 year gap, for fuck's sake! You know what that equals to? The gap between WWI (you know, "the war to end all wars') and WWII. I wonder if there might be some parallel here.

[@2nd_Directorate]

@@Alknix What you say makes absolute sense...IF it would be a new evil. Using the "old" one, who was allready defeated is straight up making the OT and everything our heroes did obsolete. And btw your analogy doesn´t hold truth, as there were different "evils" but i guess that escaped you. You just saw the WW I and WW II title and thought it is a continuation and belongs together...

[@krieghart5515]

@@Alknix That's nice you came up with all that, but the problem is they don't tell the story of how that happened. It's more or less fine for it to happen but it also has to make sense. The writers make no attempt at explaining anything, they just pitch the accomplishments of the OT off the roof just so they can copy it in a flashier, meaningless way. Disney Star Wars is a plagiarizing, greedy abomination that failed to capture what made the OT last all these years, which is a simple story and fleshed out, relatable characters who are shown to care about each other. Hell, most movies to come out in the last few years have been exploiting sensitive topics in order to appear on the moral good side when in actuality, they're just selling what's trendy. They don't care about equality or activism, only what they think will sell. If they had worked on the writing on top of pushing sensitive topics in an escapist adventure IP, they probably would stand to make exponentially larger stacks of cash, so it just shows how incompetent they are on top of their greed. It's indefensible unless you're completely delusional.

[@DarthDevorin]

"She trains now!" "She trains now?" "She trains now."

[@2nd_Directorate]

Lets be honest, she didn´t train. She showed off her mastery of the force with never before seen force control.

[@KneelB4Bacon]

"She flys now!"

[@exhumedlegume8870]

Too little, _too late..._

[@guidologo]

We already had a train in solo didn't we 😉

[@doommetaldarryl6689]

OH MY GOD, LOOK AT HER GO!

[@spoon9854]

The dark side of Disney is a path that leads to many badly written sequels some would consider.. uncanonical

[@whaguitars]

LOL

[@theenclave4981]

They need to remake the sequels, pretend these never existed and set it to 10 years after Endor and either use CGI to remake the OT characters or create and entirely new cast. Add Admiral Thrawn the imperial remnant and maybe Palpatine in a cloned body that Luke proceeds to defeat a few times.

[@Mothbean]

​@@theenclave4981For the love of God, don't dig up and puppeteer Carrie Fisher's corpse for another movie

[@KingDizzo86]

@@theenclave4981it might be time to recast the original characters

[@tylere.8436]

​@@theenclave4981No, they need to just declare it noncanonical and just leave the saga alone.

[@steel8231]

I still cant get over how they said throughout the entire movie, "Dont be afraid of who you are" and then Rey goes and ditches her name because she's afraid of dealing with the Palpatine name.

[@loukes7758]

Steel well Leia says “never be afraid of who you are” and then Rey sees a vision of herself from the dark side and the vision says “don’t be afraid of who you are” and then hisses at her. To me, that image of herself was mocking Leia and trying to show her how terrifying the person she could become truly is. I think it’s fucking awesome.

[@loukes7758]

BELLA ben solo

[@Debicus]

@@loukes7758 Eh. Too little too late for Rey.

[@wourag3885]

I actually thought she took the name cos she wanted to bang Kylo, so thought it was spiritually hers 🤷‍♀️

[@steel8231]

@@wourag3885 if that was the case why wasn't Ben Skywalker's force ghost there with Luke and Leyla's?

[@britbloc123]

This entire trilogy was just about Rey taking everything from Luke: His Lightsaber, his powers, his friends, his loved ones, his homestead, even his name.

[@matthewcollins4773]

His purpose. His legacy.

[@shuyuwang6122]

A palpatine taking everything from a skywalker

[@SCWRMComms]

Even his freaking X-Wing. -Jovahexeon

[@incubussatyrius4965]

Girl was introduced as a scavenger. Sounds consistent.

[@pierrelindgren5727]

Rey is what a Java looks like underneath their hood.

[@Obi-Wan_Kenobi]

Remember when Mark Hamill didn't like what they did to Luke and all the Last Jedi fans disrespected and ignored him? He was just the precursor. Now the entire cast can taste the disappointment Mark was forced to drown in.

[@jedi196]

Well no, true fans didn't ignore him. In fact they highlighted what he said and was backing him up the whole way. Pretty unfair that you said everyone disrespected and ignored him when it was the opposite of that with the actual fans.

[@theflyluciano7877]

@@jedi196 Hello there! My man Obi-Wan here said all The Last Jedi fans not all Star Wars fans

[@donaldjgumpofficial5754]

It's possible that the rest of the cast didn't want to jeopardise their roles in episode 9 so they waited.

[@jedi196]

@@theflyluciano7877 ah yes I see that now. Thanks for pointing it out :)

[@theflyluciano7877]

@@jedi196 It's alright, alright, alright. Misreading things happen to the best of us (meaning you a Jedi are the best of us)

[@Britty_B]

If two lightsabers does that, image what general greivous could have done to him

[@imperialguardproductions]

Just imagine grievous going to tatooine and digging up those lightsabers that Rey buried in *SAND* and then killed Rey immediately and took her lightsaber. If that's how the movie ended, I would give a standing applause

[@sijul6483]

@@imperialguardproductions fine addition to my collection

[@imperialguardproductions]

@@sijul6483 you ARE a bold one

[@kodster234]

"I am all the sith!" "And I am all the Jedi!" *Grievous bursts in* "And I have all the lightsabers!"

[@StarWarsomania]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@covingtown_]

When Ben Solo jumps down onto the giant chain and says "Ow!", this is his final line of dialogue in the whole movie. Kylo Ren/Ben Solo's final words are "Ow!". This is how the movie treats its own characters and lore.

[@forsaken-pr5iz]

Lol

[@Pendragon44321]

Fuck....that absolutely pisses me off. I'm still so pissed about how such a shitty character he is yet he had so much fucking potential. Poor Adam Driver

[@nightwishfan1991]

Wow, that's incredibly depressing.

[@davidredacted3769]

compare to lukes last lines. TLJ is shakespear compared to TROS.

[@BasicSub]

Those are my final words regarding the trilogy. Ow!

[@edmonddantes563]

Who are you ? “Rey” “Rey’d shadow legends”

[@Ramacastelo]

I laughed out loud. I thank you!

[@DMitr0]

comment of the decade contender 😂 starting off 2020 extra strong huh 😅😏

[@BenjaminHugill]

This is the most ambitious comment of 2020

[@RebornVengeancex]

🙃

[@hartianx1698]

Pretty sure I saw that somewhere else but it's still chuckleworthy

[@toganium4175]

Remember in The Force Awakens when Han Solo said, "that's not how the force works!" That line applies to this whole film.

[@nont18411]

Dwebly II Hate to admit it but having Han back as a force ghost still make more sense than Han as a “mEmoRY”

[@skittybug6937]

@@nont18411 I mean, at least there's precedent to Han wielding a lightsaber in Empire. One could construe that as having at least a weak connection to the force (as JJ intended with Finn). But when Ryan went nowhere with that...UGH. This is why you don't let multiple directors with opposing creative visions take over from each other in the middle of an arc.

[@niahoad]

Or when poe yelled: Tell us, you have a plan!

[@KingOfAllDragoons]

Nirawit Karnjanasomwong especially since Kylo didn’t even know Han that well

[@patricklemire9278]

all three of them .....the TNHTFW Trilogy.

[@johnlocke9437]

Just for reference, creamy Sheev had 1080 star destroyers at Exegol. Each star destroyer has a crew of roughly 40,000 (including storm troopers). That means Sheevy Wonder had 42 million men at his disposal, at least 10 million of which were storm troopers. Why was he hiding again?

[@Connor_Kirkpatrick]

Because they don’t know how to fly up

[@aprinnyonbreak1290]

Obviously to breed stormtroopers to pilot his ships.

[@lilbill7385]

@@aprinnyonbreak1290 that’s why he’s in hiding, he participates in the breeding

[@macgeorge8229]

This not an excuse for the writers but for a galixy that is small like i would expect the empire haveing trillons of soldiers at its hight of whitch 10 mill is not mutch even for the huts space is big.

[@elibethea4484]

@Mac George fair point but in the prequels 1.5 Million clones were enough to wage a galaxy wide war. If they had 10 million clones Palpitine had no reason to hide because he would know himself that 10 million is more than enough

[@lariotmoneus241]

Rey ended up right back where she started, on a desert planet, lying to herself about her family, and hoping for someone to return. How are we supposed to see this as hope? How is that a character arc?

[@Ramsey276one]

Character BUNGEE XD

[@derangedtortoise909]

It rimes doh dah die the sequels are balls

[@johnwatsoniv384]

It's a character arc... In a sitcom maybe.

[@thejustinsteffan]

it's like poetry it rhymes

[@ErikDayne]

The arc is so long it goes full circle 😂

[@vahlok1426]

They killed the extended universe for this. They killed Kyle Katarn, Dash Rendar, Luke's New Jedi Order, Dark Forces, most of the KOTOR lore, all the post-trilogy novels- all of it. For this. I can't believe *this actually happened.*

[@0x777]

They also killed the careers of Kathy Kennedy, Rian Johnson and Jay Jay. So at least something good came out of those movies.

[@0x777]

@Jimb0 Who did award it, Warner Bros?

[@maximus6844]

They also killed Galen Marek and replaced him with Space Aladdin.

[@vahlok1426]

@Megan Todd As a follow up to Clone Wars, Rebels is underwhelming to say the least. Only episodes I truly ended up liking was the ones featuring Vader and the one where Obi-Wan and Darth Maul had their final showdown.

[@vahlok1426]

@Megan Todd Yeah I was super hyped for Thrawn to make a return, only for him to barely be anything close to the original

[@skeletorrobo]

Disney Original Starwars treatment. Han: Stabbed Luke: Vaporised Leia: Shamed to death Vader: sacrifice meaningless. Chewie: blanked by Leia. Lando: robots M.Falcon: hacked by L3-37 C3P0: 'friends' can't stand him R2D2: replaced by a ball. Adml. Ackbar: blown up Palpatine: wins

[@jackbrown2838]

Yes

[@mundogameplay1341]

Vader’s sacrifice isn’t meaningless, he saved is son, “killed the emperor, redeemed himself, and if that wasn’t enough... He destroyed the Imperial Leadership by killing the Emperor Although I like Dark Empire over ROS Having said that, Indeed, Disney screwed the Sequels...badly...very badly

[@calt7964]

@@mundogameplay1341 Vader’s sacrifice has been dampened, and made worthless by this movie because the emperor wasn’t killed and his son still died trying to dismantle the empire they believed had been destroyed when they originally “killed the emperor.” His sacrifice meant accomplished nothing in the grand scheme of things. TL;DR The empire lives on as the first order, his son still dies to the empire he tried to destroy, and the emperor wasn’t actually killed by Vader. So his sacrifice has a lost a lot of its previous weight and meaning.

[@calt7964]

Though I do agree it isn’t entirely meaningless. He saved his son in the moment, I just believe that his sacrifice has lost a lot of meaning.

[@mundogameplay1341]

@@calt7964 If you said it like that, yeah, at least in canon his sacrifice has lost a lot of meaning!!!

[@Memnon45]

Disney: It's canon. Me: No, it's not.

[@Goibniu001]

Some political freak's wet dream.

[@brodeyleembruggen9910]

💣

[@iana3892]

Me: What you think are some kind of Jedi waving your hand around like that?!

[@mariussielcken]

It's a canon-destroying canon

[@All2Meme]

The Disney canon has misfired.

[@fishbot9902]

i love the point where they say that shields don't work in atmospheres implying that the Gungans have better shield technology than the final order

[@oddballskull1941]

I believe they were implying that they don’t work on the stratosphere and ionosphere and what not..but that’s an error on the writers..the implication may also be they don’t work while floating..within the planet..idk it’s confusing to think about because well like you said gungan shield exists..droids had shields.. But then in rogue one..the empire had a shield around the planet that had to be ripped open basically to get through..it was out of the atmosphere I think or right on the fringes of it. Speaking of droids having shields...why the fuck didn’t stormtrooper..nope nope..o gotta stop myself before this turns into a year long thread of everyone throwing force field theories and plot holes around

[@theangryMD]

also lazy ass writers

[@kylehagertybanana]

I think you mean The Final Order

[@Zadka233]

when I first saw the scene of them talking about why the shields didnt work, I always assumed that the massive amounts of electricity on the planet would short out the shields until they're in space, but I still dont understand what the final order was doing during those 16 hours considering they werent preparing for an attack, because if they were preparing a strategy they would have rose into space already.

[@StupidWeb]

@@oddballskull1941 I think the implication is more that shields don't work inside the atmosphere of Exagol, but it's still dumb as fuck

[@esthermas4703]

I just want George Lucas to rebuy the franchise for 1$

[@augustoluis6888]

Too expensive. Disney should pay Lucas for him to have it back.

[@blizzardregulus]

And he makes a movie that just has what's left of the original cast playing the original Star Wars: Battlefront II for an hour, grossing more than the entire Disney sequels with a modest investment in some cd keys and mountain dew.

[@Ir0nFrog]

@@blizzardregulus I would watch the shit out of that movie.

[@politicallycorrectredskin796]

Hell, I'll buy it. I can write a better story arch than this in five minutes while taking a dump. To be fair, 90% of the world's population could probably write a better story arch than the Disney trilogy. Maybe we can crowd source it or something and write a sentecne each without comparing notes like JJ and Rian did.

[@aa2339]

While they could keep all the mascots and kiddie fun rides.

[@TheMedievalNerd]

"What's your name?" "Rey." "Rey who?" Rey looks around. "Rey Star Wars" Rey winks to the camera. DIRECTED BY JJ ABRAMS

[@Spaceman2921]

This was the point where I stood up and applauded in the cinema.

[@T--kq3pj]

Who even asks question like that. Rey who? Who talks like that?!

[@RanMouri82]

@@T--kq3pj James Bond. Rey is new 007.

[@gokakarotku]

Nice job stealing jokes 👍

[@marscld252]

Hahaha! I would've added two points for the movie if that had happened, upping it to a 3/10. Still better than TLJ and TFA's -7 and -2.

[@sparco956]

"Cloning techniques only the Sith knew" "Wait didn't the Galactic Republic fight a war with clones back in the day?" "Force-shut up"

[@Philip54622]

Its as stupid as hux saying that they need to destroy the Republic because they support the resistance, like what the actual fuck how is 100 people and one cruiser so much more important than a whole galactic wide government with a proper army and navy.

[@liamphibia]

*THE CLONE WARS EXISTS, JJ!*

[@Alysa-Aiday]

​@@liamphibia: Evil guy once in command, loses command, makes a clone to take the throne while he acts as the puppeteer from the shad- *_WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? ALL YOU LAZY ASSES DID IS RIP OFF THE "Arise, Serpentine, Arise!" FROM THE SHOUT FACTORY G.I. JOE CARTOON!!!!!!_* Give me a fucking break!!!!!

[@Alysa-Aiday]

​@@liamphibia: *_THAT_* is why you can literally roast the "SeQuEl TrIlOgY" by *_QUOTING THE PREQUELS!!!_* Seriously! Pretend for a minute you had your mind wiped - You know, what they did to C-3PO *_TO PROTECT LEIA FROM PALPATINE!!!_* - and you watch ANH where Luke asked Obi-Wan: "You fought in the clone wars?". Now watch the prequel trilogy - Attack of the Clones in particular. Tell me you weren't excited for that huge battle on Geonosis!!

[@andre_601]

Well, to be a bit fair here.... Republic pretty much only "found" the cloning place by accident... The clones were already made at that point... It could easily be that they never really knew how this cloning worked.... Nah, who am I kidding here, JJ never would have that many braincells to come up with such an explanation himself....

[@death-king1834]

Remember Anakin's whole reason for turning over to evil in Revenge of the Sith was derived from his fear of losing his wife and Palpatine's promises of them learning the power to save her? But apparently the Light Side had the means of accomplishing that already. So it makes Vader's whole reason for turning bad completely pointless.

[@arikutin1032]

😄😄😄😆😆😆😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 I literally never realized that before now! That's hilarious!

[@whitworth5s248]

Yet completely justified because at no point did any Jedi bother to tell him that this could be done.

[@Capri_00]

Wow, greatest point ever!!! But Anakin wasn’t a Gary Lou.

[@arikutin1032]

@@whitworth5s248 why wouldn't they? The whole point of the Light Side is healing and protection. If it existed, the Jedi would be teaching this one.

[@themapplesperiod]

I loathe this movie, but to be intellectually honest you could come up with an explanation like 'Rey could only do it because it was a dark side power Sheev had but sort of in reverse. And Kylo did because of the connection between the two I guess, fuck it why not.' But then the movie would've actually had to acknowledge this and not act like it was totally normal to do that.

[@gganbp]

Luke wakes up in the little tree house on Endor after the party with the Ewoks last night. "Now that was a very weird dream", he says. And then this movie ends.

[@theorionproject6172]

A heavy night on the blue milk.

[@nathaniel04]

One too many death sticks for Luke!

[@pantognost]

Pedro :P ok. From now on this is what happened as far as I’m concerned. Thanks for the solution mate.

[@gganbp]

@@pantognost I'm not the first one to think of this, I saw it in another video. I don't remember which one, tho

[@adamfrisk956]

@@lillostmiracle568 And rethink your life

[@aryaadityapurbadi5527]

MauLer uploads Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: An Unbridled Rage Everyone: "Loooong have I waited...."

[@luhedi6303]

Arya Aditya Purbadi I literally posted that and then I saw this comment. Lol

[@jmuk3571]

I’ve been looking forward to this for a year. Can’t wait for the 3 part review like he did with TLJ

[@willsono408]

Long-man BAD!!!!!

[@goldenstatewarriors9418]

Long have I waited ... for it to come out on DVD so mauler can do his huge 3-part review and we can all enjoy it more than the film.

[@KneelB4Bacon]

"This will be a day long-remembered."

[@arrownoir]

Rey took everything. Their legacies, their victories, their lives and even their names. She’s like an insatiable bottomless pit.

[@jiggycalzone8585]

In terms of the meta, Rey *is* Darth Nihilus

[@vrika4280]

This reminded me of Morty on Vindicators 3, J.J.: It's a miracle I actually ever destroyed anything. Morty: Oh, I don't know. You managed to destroy just about everything today; the villains, the heroes, the line between them, my childhood...

[@username45739]

crywhiteboi

[@username45739]

I mean she didn't and you're obviously misrepresenting and distorting the movie (she spent a great deal of TLJ trying to vindicate Luke and the Jedi, saying he hadn't failed Kylo and the world etc.), but hey you do you

[@ILoveFunAndTheWorld]

@@username45739 stop trolling

[@4ll3sb4n4n3]

I hate Disney humor, it's course, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere.

[@lutherburgsvik6849]

So it belongs on Tatooine then...?

[@thesnipingseal8011]

Luther Burgsvik pretty harsh insult for tatooine. Don’t you think

[@lutherburgsvik6849]

@@thesnipingseal8011 yeah, I suppose so. It was just that he said *'rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere'* and that kind of sums up sand. And Tatooine is a desert planet full of sand, so I thought it was kind of amusing.

[@luk11c4]

LMAO.

[@de4th1snt3nough]

Are you referencing something? I cant place it... its like my mind is steering me away from it

[@blackenedwritings]

End of VI Obi Wan Force Ghost: "Should we tell them Palpatine still lives?" Yoda Force Ghost: "Nah." Anakin Force Ghost: "lol"

[@Arkyubus]

Force Ghost is a light side power. The dark side users leave remnants of themselves on items, or... They're supposed to, or used to... Who fuckin knows anymore...

[@brandond9181]

Anakin: "Are you kidding? This is where the fun begins!"

[@ehellstrom7127]

@@Arkyubus There's a simple explanation to this. Anything that comes from Disney is not Star Wars, it's Shit Wars instead. And therefore can be dumped into the toilet.

[@Arkyubus]

@@ehellstrom7127 Mandalorian is pretty great. Fallen Order is really great. Movies are garbo for the most part; I actually liked the Force Awakens; they could have had an interesting about a galaxy that is in a never-ending cycle of war and rebellion, and the trilogy could have explored the reason why. I wish all the things it set up weren't squandered in The Last Jedi, and then spiraled out of control in Rise of Skywalker.

[@ehellstrom7127]

@@Arkyubus I don't really care if Disney bumbled their way into decent stories. As long as they continue to call this festering pile of a trilogy canon, then as far as I am concerned it is the canon for Shit Wars which includes everything else they touched.

[@XanderKarr]

“they can’t activate shield in atmosphere” *gungans enter the chat*

[@thinkwithurdipstick]

Well clearly the sith weren’t bombad enough to get their shields to work

[@Anathema0420]

A new challenger, lol.

[@danielchew8739]

Droideka: am I a joke to you?

[@kylescoolclips]

those were rayshields, but you have a point nonetheless

[@Anathema0420]

Durge:Do you even know me? I got those on my fucking hands that could deflect lightsaber blows

[@joak9992]

I don't know why anyone asks why Kylo is so angry all the time. I'd be angry all the time if I was in these movies too.

[@andre_601]

I would be more drunk tbh.... And I don't drink at all...

[@drewwagner5227]

“I killed a guy who had a military ID and now every military base lets me in no questions asked” - ROS writers

[@logicaldude3611]

@Double Yellows "It's one of the codes that lets people go wherever they want sir, so it checks out."

[@Kevin-jb2pv]

This is why I regularly attack servicemen.

[@thebystander1636]

To be fair, while I was enlisted, this was actually a thing. Except it was your car. Had you stole an enlisted guys car you could have gotten on any US Marine Corps base in the states. You got a little red/blue sticker that went on your windshield, and as long as you didn't have hippie hair, they just waved you on through the gates as long as you had that sticker. Terrorist with bombs or not, ohhh well!

[@edgarallanpwned6666]

@@thebystander1636 That has the potential for a massive security breach

[@thebystander1636]

@@edgarallanpwned6666 no shit lol

[@oom-3262]

"Shields cannot exist below atmosphere" The clone wars as a whole would like to disagree. The most offended being droidekas.

[@francescolombardi3438]

Droideka: What, is that like a personal attack or something?

[@shaneyy__]

*screams in gungan* Also didn’t those treaded speeders HAVE SHIELDS on them in the “they fly now” sign?

[@bowenorcutt78]

That flips almost as big of a finger to how shields have worked up until this point, as the last one did with hyperdrives. Literally nowhere else was it said that, and unlike the hyperdrive thing we actually SEE shields working below an atmosphere SEVERAL GOD DAMN TIMES throughout the franchise.

[@olliger603]

@@shaneyy__ They've shields now? THEY'VE SHIELDS NOW

[@TheGloriousHawk]

this is poorly explained, and as much as i dislike the sequel trilogy, but the reason that star destroyers cannot have shields in atmosphere is due to the power exertion caused by the repulsors keeping the ship aloft. star destroyers are too large to land on a planet without suffering major structural damage and must use repulsor, or antigrav, to keep them in the air. but that just makes the decision to keep this fleet in atmo even more stupid as it places them at unnecessary risk, let alone store them under the planet surface without damaging the ships.

[@jaypeterman9721]

“I reject your reality and substitute my own” This trilogy never existed and the OG wars never ruined by Disney

[@ColinPowell-ks1fl]

"Nice, dungeon master!"

[@An_Actual_Rat]

@@ColinPowell-ks1fl Is this like getting a double reference?

[@Dragonage2ftw]

It’s cringe.

[@RogueFox2185]

Dragonage2ftw Nah

[@LukeLovesRose]

I don't think anything was canon after George created those fucking special editions

[@cpl.oralove425]

I come back often to these. They make me not feel alone in my own UNBRIDLED RAGE.

[@whaguitars]

Agree I'm re-watching Drinkers and Maulers reviews.

[@haoyuezheng6082]

same. Even every swear word is used on point lol

[@0That_Guy0]

Try out the reviews from E;R, you might enjoy those too! He went ballistic with this trilogy.

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

I'm not a huge Star Wars fan and have never seen the sequel trilogy, yet I love the various long KZbin videos shitting all over these movies. So many beloved franchises have been wrecked over the last few years; my beloved Star Trek, Doctor Who, Marvel Comics and DC Comics have suffered the same fate as Star Wars. There's something cathartic about seeing how pissed off so many fanbases are nowadays. Star Wars fans are as sick of this shit as everyone else.

[@lukefrederiks5906]

“Commander Mauler. The time has come.” “Execute Order: Unbridled Rage”

[@S3rp3nte]

"It would be done, my lord."

[@PowerfulSkeleton]

Execute EFAP #66.

[@amanibob1416]

"Roger-roger." Random bot

[@PittsburghSonido]

HES TOO UNBRIDLED TO BE LEFT ALIVE

[@grandarkfang_1482]

*Perfect Cell Scream intensifies*

[@TheSecondVersion]

"Ow" is literally the only thing Ben gets to say between his redemption and death

[@productions1203]

Wtf

[@wheeliebin18]

Holy shit! Hahaha

[@PViolety]

Not only that but he says “ow.” in a comedic way.

[@AgentofChaos315]

Such last words.

[@gunjantripathi3340]

don't remind me

[@SiddharthShenoy]

“Hi, I’m Peter Parker”... “Rey Skywalker”... “Oh we’re using our made up names? I’m Spider-Man then”

[@suffering-everyday]

she buried your lightsaber in the sand next to your mom

[@claws811]

@@suffering-everyday yeah

[@vakentine8173]

Wow this is amazing... Hope you have a good day!

[@jamesteller7791]

It's OK ani

[@davidripley2916]

My made-up name is Awesome Bastard! * Disclaimer - Not really, it's Awesome (The bit I made up)

[@EvanSol919]

I feel bad for all the actors. I'm sure they all signed up thinking this was going to be an amazing experience but ended up being victims of a bunch of higher ups that didn't know what they were doing.

[@legendarydavo]

Honestly definately don't blame them. You have the money and potential future job prospects... why wouldn't you.

[@unimpartialobserver]

@@legendarydavo It is true that one does not say "no" to Disney and have a career afterward.

[@aronthedev3074]

Especially John Boyega. He was so excited to play that character in TFA and by the TRoS he looks so defeated.

[@gayflower900]

Finn has the best and most consistent character arc in the whole trilogy Episode 7: “REY” Episode 8: “REEYYYY” Episode 9: “REEEEEYYYYYY”

[@tengkuhafiz4174]

As the Y in Rey got longer, he’ll eventually end up shouting Reyyyyyyyyyy’d Shadow legends

[@sweetyeetus]

This comment is criminally underrated. XD

[@haillobster7154]

Best black character in film!

[@Sockren]

@@olskoolkool3342why you gotta get so political on us bro

[@olskoolkool3342]

@@Sockren Dude! My bad - I often listen to Mauler in bed, and must have rolled on my phone and dropped all those emojis 🤣 Your comment is the only reason I realized 😜

[@ryaquaza3offical]

Palpatine in the prequels: *incredibly intelligent and calculating, he caused the downfall of the Jedi order and the rise of the empire while manipulating everything from the inside* Palpatine in the sequels: “What is up my First order legions, god king Palpatine here coming at you live from the planet you need McMuffins to find”

[@karndisyodjit4090]

what about him in original trilogy?

[@Dragonage2ftw]

He was never “intelligent.”

[@mr.rufasi2729]

Dragonage2ftw he was lmfao he wouldn’t be able to take over the republic if he was dumb

[@Drakhesh]

@@Dragonage2ftw A man who single-handedly climbed all the way from the galactic backwater that was Naboo all the way to the supreme chancelor/emperorand managed to basically exterminate entire Jedi order... was not intelligent? Well fuck me sideways with a bowcaster, I do NOT wanna meet the intelligent one then.

[@mr.rufasi2729]

Jackson Allen sure buddy ok

[@cazabrow1967]

"Who are you?" "Rey" "Rey who?" "Reypublic Senate" Force ghost Mace Windu: "not yet."

[@cha02psc]

Cazabrow so... it’s t-Rey-son then?

[@tekakiuluy3221]

I see you're one of the padawans in r/prequelmemes aswell

[@thecheesefactor]

“Sweet Princess, if through this wicked witch’s trick, a spindle should your finger prick. A ray of hope there still may be in this, the gift I give to thee.” “And from this slumber you shall wake, when true love’s kiss, the spell shall break.”

[@cazabrow1967]

@@tekakiuluy3221 Shit, he knows..

[@merasmusentertainment]

What? Mace died before force ghosts were a thing

[@Taktaagic]

I will never get tired of hearing people call the connection thing between Rey and Kylo “Force Skype Calling”

[@Alysa-Aiday]

Minus the stupid part each sees the other's surroundings & appearance - *_That stupid part Rey tells Kylo to please put a shirt on_* - it's just basic telepathy. The Family Guy spoof of ESB; "Something, Something, Something, Dark Side", even poked fun at it.

[@Onirium]

Disney is going to make a sequel to The Lord of the Rings. Sauron is back because he had made a copy of the ring, so he was dead, but not really. Do you remember Gandalf? The wizard that returned from the dead to keep fighting? He is hidden because he's scared and traumatised. The main character is a female hobbit who never left the Shire, but she kicks ass with every possible weapon with absolutely no training. She can even turn invisible at will. When she brings Gandalf his lost staff, the wizard throws it away because the concept of good and evil in the original trilogy is too simple and people have to grow up. I think it's going to be a great success!!

[@Ealsante]

Well, here's a million dollars, which I will set on fire. *Sets on fire* Now here's 300 million dollars, shut up and go make a movie with it, go!

[@camcraft5196]

Wow good job describing the sequel trilogy

[@CallanElliott]

Gandalf left Middle-Earth at the end of LotR anyway because his work there was done. His duty was already complete.

[@Onirium]

@@CallanElliott you are right, I also love the LoTR, my story is ridiculous on purpose. But just for fun, maybe it could happen in the years after Sauron is defeated and before Gandalf leaves Middle Earth?

[@Onirium]

@@keyboardkaos3279 I hope you are wrong, I'm so hyped about that series...

[@RogueFox2185]

“The Rise of Skywalker doesn’t really answer anything.” - Kathleen Kennedy 2019 I mean at least for once she was actually honest about something right?

[@neildungman4142]

It's weird how Rey has to go to Palpatine alone, but then can't give into her anger and kill him. What else was she supposed to do, play tiddlywinks with him?

[@thedarkmasterthedarkmaster]

yeah

[@Azol570]

yet she loved last jedi. trying to shift blame from rian to jj

[@Iybraesil]

Wait, did she really say that?

[@Hideyoumonkey]

@@neildungman4142 Yeah....these poor actors...Rey had the potential to have the best character arc in history...the entire point of the first movie was her to find out who she was why she was abandoned. AND WHEN SHE FOUND OUT SHE DIDN'T EVEN CARE. SHE DIDN'T EVEN ASK WHY SHE WAS BORN WHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY

[@gankgoat8334]

I remember fondly now when Jar Jar was considered the worst thing to happen to star wars, we were so naive back then.

[@557deadpool]

@@revolverswitch Jar Jar was not that bad

[@WolfLykaios]

Naive indeed I feel so stupid

[@jorgeloredo100]

Jar Jar was supossed to be Darth Plagueis, George was going to make an amazing turn till the fans bitched him in to a corner. At least that man had a plan...

[@VileVamp]

I hated Anakin more than Jar Jar in that movie, even as a kid. Also, guy above me is totally reaching.

[@The-Secret-Door]

That confused me for a second; when I read "Jar Jar" now, I automatically think of Abrams!

[@tomazing]

It's so sad watching the director hopelessly stare at his cast for the smallest form of affirmation

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

It _would_ be sad but that director is loathsome hack JJ Abrams so it's actually heartwarming to watch.

[@All2Meme]

@@BiggieTrismegistus The JJ stands for JarJar, so it all fits together when you think about it that way.

[@darkzeroprojects4245]

Sad in a pathetic sense honestly.

[@Luccaluke]

It has been stated a million times and it shall be stated a million times more: The expanded universe died for this!

[@IRMentat]

Luccaluke More like. Star Wars:Disney is dead, long live Star Wars:EU! (Not EA, EU)

[@Liberator130]

@HorizonEngine05 Fallen Order is probably one of the best written stories out of the new Star Wars continuity, and it still has massive problems in regards to the writing, including character motivations and plot holes.

[@kaptainkabul9499]

Thrawn triology is my canon ending. Not caring one bit for Disney.

[@Liberator130]

​@HorizonEngine05 ​ Gotcha. I feel mixed on the mechanics of the game. Mostly, I think Upper Echelon Gaming had a great assessment on the game.

[@paulnaughton9923]

EU Fans: Legends never die.

[@KenMabie]

"everyone just dies and comes back in this film" yeah except Luke, Han and Leia you know .. the characters people actually like

[@tymgames8307]

Oh wait. I realised this at this second and then I see your comment xD. But that's so true

[@KenMabie]

@@tymgames8307 Troof

[@Jay9966]

It's probably because they are actually dead in real life or because their patience for the fucking fail reboot was spent.

[@_Aemse]

thats for episode 10 downfall of the landflyers which totally flips all tropes on their heads

[@Greg-yu4ij]

Thank God I watched this and not that JJ turd fest.

[@YeahForSure99]

It's hard to believe, but literally EVERY scene in this movie has at least one plot hole or an idea that goes nowhere.

[@legoferrari14]

I've seen *role-plays* with more consistent plot and characterization than this movie.

[@koolerman4443]

At least the prequals were concrete about the ideas and politics they wanted to convey, this movie has 50 different ideas that are completely scrapped in the next scene and the dialogue contradicts everything. Its almost like a parody

[@giorgialadashvili4771]

If you had a shot every time there's a significant plot contrivance, plot hole or inconsistency in this trash pile, you would not even survive the first 10 minutes.

[@thisguy3372]

Funny that this can be applied to the Last Jedi as well

[@skychieftain]

@@giorgialadashvili4771 yeah well, you could say that for the earlier star wars movies as well.

[@0That_Guy0]

Mauler: Why are you so angry all the time?! Kylo: I read the script.

[@TheArcher143]

The next movie better start with Luke waking up and realising these last 3 movies have just been a bad dream.

[@marekkralik8290]

Hah,brilliant!That will make more sense then wholw sequel trifuckinglogy

[@-cams.]

and he just woke up from partying too hard with his friends after Episode VI lol

[@sadnessofwildgoats]

I heard a rumor from a reliable source that the prequel trilogy will be erased from the in universe timeline.

[@MrMah-zf6jk]

@@sadnessofwildgoats uh huh sure.

[@kierrakim4761]

Then he goes and tries to kill Ben who is sleeping in his Jedi School, starting the cycle over again

[@alosim1541]

Here was my biggest problem with the movie. Look at Rey at the end and compare her to how she was at the beginning of TFA. Literally no difference whatsoever. She behaves the same, she has the same level of experience with the Force, and she’s even dressed exactly the same. Basically, she’s the exact same person in every way and didn’t go through any major growth or changes as a character. It’s almost as if the trilogy’s events didn’t affect her in the slightest. Compare that to Luke Skywalker. He went from a naive, young farm boy whining about wanting power converters to becoming a mature Jedi Knight who stood up to the most evil man in the galaxy to save his father. For me, this is the core reason why Rey didn’t work as a character and why this entire trilogy didn’t work as a whole.

[@MildThang]

I'm sure that was deliberate. She's perfect the way she is and doesn't need to change. That's the message as they intended it.

[@adamboh393]

That what happens when the first movie barely gives the main character a character and then the next two fight over what direction to go.

[@deltatitan4506]

No one in this movie goes through any development and sadly no one dies. I mean it's always hard to let someone die but they did kill of Tony and that for good. C3PO dying? undone by R2. Chewbacca? Was on another transporter. They just couldn't let anyone die or go through any development

[@Trollamollex]

@@MildThang No, Rey is God. That is the message if the movie.

[@isaiahlee2902]

Your comment deserves more attention

[@justatiger6268]

The *single redeeming quality* of the Disney trilogy were these reviews epically shitting on them.

[@notsae66]

Much as I love Mauler, I'd have much preferred Star Wars just be good. Optimally, Mauler and EFAP would still rise unrelatedly, but Disney not being evil would have been nice.

[@lordskysixss]

it also brought all of the fans together to hate on the sequels.

[@giveandtake8428]

Love your profile pic!

[@SiddharthShenoy]

Another good thing about the sequels: They ended.

[@jkdbuck7670]

Yes...had it not been for this turd Trilogy, I'd never have known Odin's Movie Blog, Mauler, Nerdrotic, Critical Drinker, G+G, etc.

[@lordtornado3321]

Some wise guy said this on the other side of KZbin: "It actually all started with the Force Awakens. It literally undid everything the original heroes achieved. Relagated Luke to an island, leia to a failed general, and Han back to his smuggling ways. Turned a rebellion that won back into a small pack of "resistance" It also narrowed the world down again to just Skywalkers and recloned Vader and the empire in Kylo and the first order. I don't know why so many people fail to see how terrible of a setup TFA was for the rest of the sequels" And it sums up MOST of the problems perfectly IMO.

[@Novodantis]

Absolutely. TFA already fucked up the plot by the opening crawl.

[@vanz681]

Anakin: *Hates sand* Rey: *Buries his lightsaber with sand*

[@runningoncylinders3829]

That’s like Indiana Jones hiding his whip amongst a crowd of similar-looking snakes. He would Never!

[@afriendlycadian9857]

@@runningoncylinders3829 just thinkong about that made me choke on my water

[@isaac14ac]

How dare she so disrespectful first she does that then steals they’re name! Give us more reason to hate her.

[@SirDankleberry]

Anakin: *I H A T E Y O U*

[@kneau]

Vanz worse yet, Rey *Ruins* his lightsaber with sand. Finely crafted things rarely remain unscathed once “introduced” to the equivalent of beach sand.

[@danieldosso2455]

"Nothing makes sense, but it sure does look cool. MUST BE A JJ ABRAMS FILM." I died

[@maximk9964]

"I died"

[@papaofthejohns5882]

“I’m Peter by the way” “Rey Skywalker” “Oh, we’re using our made up names? I’m Spiderman then.” Was the perfect conclusion to this rant 😂

[@aidanmattys7488]

Loved it so goddamn much. That edit was more satisfying than the end of the entire "skywalker saga"

[@RebornVengeancex]

Actually she's Rey mclunky

[@wopjohn]

Rey Jettster

[@aidanmattys7488]

Rey Jebwalker

[@Rishi123456789]

Rey Shitwalker.

[@MelonHead78]

Fans: we had a deal! You promised us an epic sequel to the OT Disney: I am altering the deal, pray I don’t alter it any further

[@thatoneguy-kj9nk]

Underrated comment

[@curtiskretzer8898]

🍿No.Please. "Alter it" further🍿

[@lukeroberson2115]

Fans: This deal is getting worse all the time. Disney: Here is a unicycle!

[@ExtrackterYT]

The first trilogy: You got a sense of *_"In a galaxy far far away"_* The last trilogy: You have a sense of *_"From a writers room here on earth in current year"_*

[@DSkulle1]

for all their faults, the prequels did at least one thing right, set up the tragedy of anakin skywalker and plapatines rise to power. which is much more than i can say for the sequels.

[@thesuperintendent4290]

@Marcus Fenix Well at least the Prequels has one of if not the best lore additions in Star Wars since the original trilogy. The Clone Wars, General Grievous, more of Obi wan Kenobi and way more. The sequels have NOTHING and the best sequels movie is a New Hope rip off.

[@alexkoronec4326]

All they did was copy the first two movies

[@deanholderde5959]

Honestly, I can’t disagree.

[@crisrustaad4436]

Spot on!

[@unlimitedninja3635]

I would've much preferred if Kylo survived and Rey died for an ending that made more sense. "who are you?" "Ben." "Ben who?" "Ben Skywalker."

[@laalaag2auntyayag776]

That would have been awesome. Wouldn’t it be Solo though? Idk, I think I’d surely use the Skywalker name too just for the clout

[@exquizzetmtg2779]

@@laalaag2auntyayag776 kylo is blatantly based on Jacen Solo (who had a twin sister named Jaina) and Benjamin Skywalker, Jacen's apprentice from Legends, seen in the Legacy of the Force series of novels

[@MobiusLeader007]

That would have given weight to the "Rise of Skywalker" title. Instead of having every Skywalker dead and a Palpatine stealing their name.

[@bkers10]

​@@laalaag2auntyayag776 If Ben did survive he would probably have to go on the run, otherwise he would be called to pay for the crimes he committed with the First Order. Changing his name from Solo to Skywalker may have helped him remain undercover while also symbolizing his return to the ways of a Jedi. It's still a tad flimsy, but I would have liked that a lot more than "Rey Skywalker." BARF!

[@darkmistico]

omg yes .. and would fit perfectly with the title of the movie.. ¨The rise of skywalker¨ who is rising if all the skywalkers are dead as f

[@agentcarter2219]

Disney Star Wars Sequel Trilogy: The single most squandered opportunity in the history of cinema

[@jaredt5127]

congrats kathy, you did it.

[@Micoryourboss]

Honestly there was no opportunity there. They should have left Star Wars as it was. The ending in Return of the Jedi is pretty final and does not leave much open

[@adas2051]

Michael van Moolenbroek you can still have some sort of continuation without repeating ANH. Look at the EU.

[@HardReset_YT]

The star wars universe is large and lengthy. The biggest mistake was using a time period so close to the OT heroes. While these films are bad for what they did to the lore and all that, the OT character assassinations are possibly the most egregious sins of the sequels.

[@Teppest33]

Remember, Iger and Kennedy had a sequel trilogy treatment/outline that they got from George Lucas, which they discarded in favor of this unoriginal cash grab. They had everything in their hands and it’s now turning into a sinking ship.

[@tunabones5534]

I don’t understand how the people responsible for this could let this happen unless everyone involved with the writing absolutely despises Star Wars

[@cosmictreason2242]

You get it

[@hrthrhs]

I'd say it's ESG money and Feminism. Because if you want money badly enough and believe in an ideology enough you don't care about anything else.

[@Majima_Nowhere]

Well, yes. That's exactly it. You don't make movies this bad by accident. It's all just money laundering and manipulating culture.

[@brinley9629]

George: Palpatine is ABSOLUTELY dead! Disney: only a sith deals in absolutes!

[@somedude5581]

Disney: "I wil do what I must." George: "You will try..."

[@SkaterBlades]

That is an absolute statement which means we can conclude Disney is run by the sith and given how they sucked our life force out with this trilogy, much like Palpatine with Rey and Kylo, they are the most powerful sith ever. Some would say they are all the sith

[@brinley9629]

@@SkaterBlades well we already KNEW that

[@andrewmeyer3599]

Next Vader is gonna be confirmed to be alive, same with the Death Star and Death Star II and the entirety of the Empire, they were just chilling behind Space Cancer on a different planet that requires a different McMuffin

[@uncle2593]

you forget, Darth maul was "killed" 3 effing times

[@hillerm]

The whole Disney Star Wars trilogy is just fan fiction to me.

[@lite4998]

Michael Hey. Not all fanfiction is this bad. Some of it is decent.

[@davemac9563]

Michael written by someone who has no knowledge of fiction writing.....who was also drunk.....AND WHO KNEW NOTHING ABOUT STAR WARS

[@0x777]

It feels a lot like a story you'd find in a computer game. Or maybe a tabletop RPG. Where the GM doesn't know what the characters are going to do, so he has to keep his options open and (ab)use the Force as the deus ex machina when the characters fuck up royally and there is no other way to keep the story going except to make the omnipotent magic rescue them.

[@wxedsanddokx]

Same

[@TheDukeOfPannekoeken]

Amen

[@PViolety]

“The dark side is a pathway to many abilities some would consider to be unnatural.” Paraphrased: I have no idea how I’m still alive.

[@maximk9964]

Some may see it as "unnatural" to retcon old films, but the dark side don't care

[@dracopug]

Maxim K dark side ain't evil enough for this shit, this is Disney we're talking about here

[@Crippycooke]

In fairness, he said in the prequel trilogy that resurrection was possible in the dark side.

[@LFdonohue94]

Crippycooke He said it can stop people from dying. Not necessarily brought back from the dead. To my understanding.

[@davitdavid7165]

More like plot armor

[@andrewadams8601]

I love explanation that the Knights of Ren ended up being so incompetent that they just got lost on the way to TLJ lol

[@Philip54622]

Lol I had to rewind that twice it was too good

[@All2Meme]

Not only did they lose their way, but they lost the script to the Sequel Trilogy that didn't suck.

[@jrthehunter4309]

Rey, someone who grew up on a desert planet, knows how to sail a boat better than people who do it for a living and fly better than the best pilot in the galaxy? That's like an African jungle Bush-lady knowing how to build an igloo better than an Eskimo and skateboard better than Tony Hawk

[@SolarisKane]

That's why she's called Ma-Rey Sue.

[@RadiantLag]

Disney:She uses the force

[@aciDCXIV]

Anthony Micheletti That’s not how the Force works!

[@charmandyorton006]

I bet that bush-lady was skateboarding with the Jet Pack Mode cheat turned on... As for how she built that igloo so well, your guess is as good as mine.

[@jcbradley1386]

Did you mean Mary Sue?

[@Traonis]

"It doesn't make any sense but it sure does look cool; must be a JJ Abrams movie." Truer words could never be spoken.

[@NexusKin]

And a Michael Bay movie!

[@jean-luceyesofyoureyes5502]

To be fair he did do an awesome job with the star Trek movies. Idk what he and Disney did to Star Wars... It's a travesty

[@Sullenify]

@@jean-luceyesofyoureyes5502 Those Star Trek movies were just as trash as these Star War movies. What the hell are you smoking where you think that those dumb, loud, and meaningless lens flare ridden films are good Star Trek movies?

[@ashwinikulkarni7122]

@@Sullenify OPINIONS !!!!

[@Sullenify]

@@ashwinikulkarni7122 Yes, everyone has opinions. Doesn't mean that I have to like or agree with them. Maybe you loved those Star Trek films, by all means do so. Just don't expect me to act like they're any good, because to me they're not.

[@marcusa.ragnos1041]

Rey’s Christmas list to Disney: “Dear Disney, please steal for me... -Anakin/Luke’s lightsaber -Anakin/Luke’s last name -Anakin’s chosen one status -More power than Anakin or either of Anakin’s kids -Better piloting abilities than Anakin/Luke -Better engineering abilities than Anakin/Luke -Poe’s droid -Luke’s film score moment on Tatooine But please make sure I don’t challenge Leia in leadership capabilities or show me clearly being more powerful than Leia or doing things we know she can’t do. That would just be over the top. -Sincerely, The New Chosen One”

[@AkulaSpawn]

Don't forget she now owns Chewbaca's Falcon.

[@marcusa.ragnos1041]

Dang forgot a few 😂

[@mobbs6426]

The Force Un-wha.? And who's this Pussy Starkiller everyone was talking about a few years ago

[@parkeypence5974]

Don't forget Anakin's X-Wing

[@pyramidion5911]

@@parkeypence5974 your joking right

[@RainbowMan9407]

I've never seen a movie more terrified of upsetting people. Ironic, isn't it?

[@greensmurf221]

"wHy ArE yoU oVeRaNaLyzInG a StOrY AbOuT SpaCe wIzArDs??" -Most disingenuous argument ever

[@R3lik101]

Why does he even care about any fictional story? Why should he even talk to people who care about fictional stories if he doesn't care? That guy's argument is so bad.

[@soriacx]

I thing "duuh, StarWars are just childs movies, don't you care for any plot!!!" comes a very close second :-)

[@aryaadityapurbadi5527]

Anyways, JJ Abrams how fucking dare you!

[@brightgarinson3099]

@@R3lik101 Well we truly should stop caring about stupid consumerism.

[@officerspider7996]

Oh you’re upset about Harry Potter suddenly black? Oh it’s a Fictional Story. Oh you’re upset about Spider-Man suddenly punching peoples face off like a Psychopath? Eh fictional stories. Like what is that? What is that Argument?

[@gryphonbotha1880]

Remember when even the Millenium Falcon - the ship with one of the fastest hyperdrives in the galaxy - still needed a lengthy period of time to travel between Tatooine and Alderaan? Remember when lightspeed was something ships only did when virtually out of a planet's orbit, implying hyperjumping couldn't be done too near to any significant gravity well? Remember when it couldn't even be done within an asteroid field because the chances of being instantly obliterated going that fast through such random debris was so damn high? If you remembered this, then you already have a better handle on Star Wars lore than the managers, lead writers and directors behind this saga.

[@alexgutierrez3500]

Pepperidge Farm remembers

[@sinbadsolomon8508]

I..wow I can’t even put into words how much more disappointed this makes me feel about this film...

[@SolarisKane]

Remember when cars required keys to start them so any old random orphan from the sand couldn't hop into one and drive away?

[@1992reyflorez]

Now we have light speed skipping...

[@zidahya]

@Hexi Well they trashed anything but the other films and rebels and there is not so much lore to take account of. Banning the EU was the biggest mistake they did. Not because it was all great stories (Yuzon Wong anyone?) but because we (most of the old star wars fans) know that shit, and we yes we will damn right judge you by it. Just food for thoughts... wouldn't Thrawn been a good supreme leader for the new order? Just in case something bad happends to Palpatine and Vader, heck even if Vader is okay, he shouldn't be trusted with an empire, Thrawns kicks in and starts kicking ass until creamy chief is ready to come back.

[@davidkjellin3194]

This video is a better movie than the movie it's critiquing.

[@therealfakecaptain7978]

It's shorter than the movie so we're good.

[@tylerdurden4006]

Any video is better than the subject matter...

[@Dingo-wk5ed]

Shannon Wilson except a video praising it

[@allanhallah6038]

miles better. they're not even comparable

[@josephdestaubin7426]

Others have said it, but it bears repeating: not JUST better, it's not even close.

[@AliceBowie]

Let's just assume that Palpatine took over Rey's body, and just played it cool and didn't tell anyone. Then he buries the lighsabers as an intentional insult, and says his name is skywalker to gloat, knowing he's gonna do bad stuff in their name.

[@dodojesus4529]

Probably play the long game, train "jedi" gain ever more control inside the new republic. Remember time is no longer a factor since palps can just posses another young body. Sheev dominatus

[@Mothbean]

Go for Papa Palpatine!

[@thathandsomedevil0828]

Don't write the story for incompetent writers, it is pure garbage.

[@StarWarsomania]

I actually had an idea for a fanfic based on this premise. It would be told through the POV of a character who’d recognized him in Rey, but Palpatine had backed him into a political corner where absolutely nobody believed him, and he could do nothing but panic from the middle distance. A dystopian story would just sort of leave that as an ambiguous/open ending. A more hopeful story would have the POV character find a way around his machinations, and have the only other character who knew (Rey, trapped inside her body like a Goa’uld host) help him expunge the “Sith soul” from her body. My muse is unfortunately wandering the back hills of nowhere, and she only shows up to throw good prompts at my face to just run away again.

[@aronthedev3074]

​@@StarWarsomaniathat would be a way more interesting story than anything Disney is capable of atm. Palpatine would use Rey just as he did his political power in the prequels, putting pieces in place that will benefit him later but under the guise of doing it for the "good of the galaxy." Everyone sees Rey as the ultimate hero and so never really questions what she's doing, except for this one person who knows the truth and desperately tries to get people to see what they see. I really like that idea!

[@Milkra]

Fun fact: the transmission palpatine sent through the galaxy offscreen can be heard in the Fortnite Star Wars tie in event. That’s right, Fortnite is now canonically relevant to the full Star Wars story.

[@tadpolegaming4510]

Jesus Christ

[@georgelea4297]

Oh what joy

[@matteolucchi1205]

😂(😥)🔫

[@MLPDethDealr32]

Wasnt that also a plot point in the 2015 Battlefront game as well?

[@thinkwithurdipstick]

Y’all remember when video games were based on the movies, not crucial parts of them? I member.

[@unruelycayde4143]

a quote from Palpatines Journey. "Death is a concept invented by the Jedi, I don't even know how to spell it"

[@AroAceGamer]

D-E-A...

[@invaderHUNK]

UnruelyCayde it had a story that flowed more fluidity than the last three movies

[@totalwar1793]

Legends: has a concrete storyline (except for one comic book series called Dark Empire that was reviled) Disney: remakes a crappier version of Dark Empire

[@dovahkiin_brasil]

@@AroAceGamer this explain why they are named darth

[@benderhender1442]

"A CHAIR... ITS PERFECTLY SIZED FOR MY LITTLE BODY"

[@magesentron]

Is it bad that I thought Kylo Ren's "Ow" when he landed hard was the most realistic dialogue in the movie due to it actually being a human moment shining through the utter stupidity of all the other exposition and insane dialogue?

[@johntrains1317]

when is that?

[@talunable]

@@johntrains1317 when he jumped on a chain. Near the end of the movie, when he was on his way to Ray and Palpatine.

[@chuckp1506]

The shrug was dumb but i liked that moment too. It showed a change from serious bitchy kylo to chilled out optimistic ben solo. I think hes the only one that had anything related to an arc in the new trilogy.

[@mdrumt]

It should've been an 'oof'

[@moroseloki1912]

I want more Ben Solo so does Rey

[@montyboon4127]

What really pisses me off about force heal is how much it breaks the canon. Every single death could be summed up with "but they could have forced healed them". I was watching clone wars with my mum who doesnt watch much extended universe star wars and satine got game ended, my mum said the best thing ever "why didnt obi wan just yknow, do the force thing that revives everyone" and i was like "spot on, if its a thing, why not do it?"

[@spartanonxy]

In old EU force heal was a thing but came pretty much in two forms. One was a form of first aid. It was not able to fix severe wounds. And was a rare power. The second made people heal faster and was common but at best it turned 3 weeks to heal to 1 week to heal. There was only ONE exception that the EU went out of its way to portray as well exactly that a exception. Even by Jedi and Sith it was treated as a outlier bordering on full blown miracle. Yes healing can be done with the force in old EU but it was bound in rules. This is the biggest problem with the force in the sequel trilogy. It is not bound in any rules or guidelines. It is just plot contrived nonsense.

[@donovandelozier7156]

"Force thing that revives everyone" because to revive someone you need to trade all your own life force.

[@MicahDarkFantasy]

The greatest crime this franchise ever committed is throwing Anakin’s legacy out the window.

[@mitchido7887]

cheers ill drink to that

[@frikabg]

they didn't throw it out of the window they pushed in infront of a bullet train.

[@pokeprime94]

Actually they added insult to injury, they buried it in sand

[@mattstorm6568]

Old Anakin yeah.

[@santiagofarell3405]

It kills me that they had Asoka tano and Luke sky walker to work with, killed one and didn’t use the other, dickheads

[@TheCrazyHedgehogLady]

Palpatine's explanation for still being alive was essentially "Something something DARK SIDE." D:

[@sleeplessend8683]

Lol

[@jasoethesentienteyeshapedg4847]

*SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING PLOT LINE*

[@marciaosullivan3200]

I could tell you but my programming will stop me.

[@Siegberg91]

@@marciaosullivan3200 time to stick a small guy in your brain.

[@AlienSupreme]

Questioning a magical force in a unverse with a magical force

[@karllosikarlstadt5214]

" death is a concept invented by the Jedi, I don't even know how to spell it.'' Palpatine 2019.

[@eggcelentrat4005]

A man of culture i see

[@SoLongUntilTheSeanceOfficial]

Yoda you old sponge

[@spicymeatpaul307]

This comment is perfect for my tiny body

[@thebookworm6343]

I will use the force to heal this broken story

[@karllosikarlstadt5214]

@@thebookworm6343 thats the best so far. xD

[@tigadirt]

I'm so embarresed that i didn't think about how ridiculous a quick sand ceiling would be until he pointed it out.

[@rayo146-x8x]

"I can't imagine Anakin was very happy about his lightsaber being permanently entombed by several feet of sand." That's not even a meme about Anakin's hatred of sand, that's a legit issue with the movie. Of all the places to bury that lightsaber... WHY THE HELL DID YOU BURY IT ON TATOOINE?! Tatooine, the planet where Anakin and his mother were sold into slavery. Tatooine, the planet where Anakin had to leave his mother and fellow enslaved friends for a decade. Tatooine, the planet where Anakin found his mother dead at the hands of the Sand People. Tatooine, the planet where Luke was sent away, separated from his sister, into hiding to evade the Empire. Tatooine, the planet that starved Luke of any passion and hope. Tatooine, the planet where Luke found his only parental figures burnt down to their very skeletons. Tatooine, the planet where Luke nearly got fed to a rancor while his sister was nearly enslaved. THAT TATOOINE?! Not *Naboo?!* Where Padmé wanted the twins to be born after the War?! Not *Coruscant,* to bring them back to their roots?! Chris Terrio has gone on record saying that the whole thing of wrapping the two lightsabers together was apparently meant to reference Episode 3! And what he has to say about it actually kinda makes sense! Chris Terrio: “We thought of it as just paying her respects and sort of undoing the original sin at the end of the third movie, which is the separation of the twins. I mean, of course, they had to be separated to keep them safe, and the trilogy wouldn’t exist, the six movies wouldn’t exist if they hadn’t been separated! But that felt to us like it was almost like a wrong that need to be righted.” And yeah, in theory that actually freakin’ works. The twins are united after being separated for so long... SO WHY THE HELL DID YOU BURY THEM ON THE PLANET THAT CAUSED THEIR FATHER AND THEMSELVES SO MUCH MISERY YOU ABSOLUTE MORONS?! TELL ME YOU *HACKS!* I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF IT HAS THE BINARY SUNSET. THAT PLACE IS CURSED, GODDAMNIT!

[@jacksonscott3667]

Just to add to the list of Tatooine gripes: Tatooine, the place where Leia was captured by the Empire, leading to her torture at the hands of Vader and Tarkin. Tatooine, the place where blatant droid racism is permitted and potentially encouraged. Tatooine, home to incredibly dangerous podraces that feature numerous casualties while allowing children to compete.

[@silvergrove8517]

They were already reunited by the end of ROTJ, this new trilogy decided to tear them apart. Again. Unlike the valid reason to separate them at the end of the prequels, here we don't even have any explanation as to why they are all apart from each other or why some of their relationships died out. Could you imagine telling to someone in the 80s, just as they finished watching ROTJ, that any of the events in the Disney trilogy will occur ? That Han and Leia would be divorced and that their only son was responsible for the chaos in the Galaxy. Think about it: Rey has more screentime with Leia than Luke, Han, Chewie, Lando, Ben, 3PO & R2D2 put together. She has more screentime with Luke than any of the old characters, she has more screentime with Han than any of the old characters. She has more screentime with Ben than his literal parents and uncle. Everything is about her. Every. single. little. detail.

[@Anwell100]

I agree. It should have been Naboo. That is the only place that makes sense to me. But JJ wanted that nostalgia shot.

[@thinkwithurdipstick]

J Sc dude nobody cares about droids lol they weren’t allowed in the diner on coruscant either. Plus, after the clone wars, I think it’s pretty justified to harbor a little hate for droids

[@BlackCeII]

Because JJ is and always has been a cheap hack of a writer.

[@brandonmiller9155]

The line “I will finish what you started” COULDVE been so poetic, if he was the one to kill the emperor, and bring balance.. but no

[@stormbringer2840]

Yes and he could finally have a decent motivation for going to the darkside .

[@wheeliebin18]

Love the theory that he has to play the long game like that to basically go "undercover darkside"... fuck, that could have been a great plot point!

[@andrewscasualmtb]

Yes that would have at least made some sense.

[@stick-itproductions.3307]

Oh... shit. Now I'm mad.

[@alfredmehchi]

Wooooowww never thought of that. I wish that was the plot. And imagine if snoke didn't die or kylo failed to kill him, went back to the resistance, joined with rey. And snoke would have been palpatine's master, pulling the strings right form the beguining. He would have been the one to clone palpatine and there would be a lightsaber fight between the emperor and snoke vs kylo and rey

[@jackdaalfbrainork6392]

“What was your reaction to the end of the movie” *faces of pure confusion, uncomfortableness uneasiness, Vietnam flashbacks, and regret*

[@McBanditHope]

You think Ian McDiarmid shouted "Dew it!" when his privates hesitated to execute VC?

[@histguy101]

That was so bizarre.

[@rebelstrategist]

>it ain't me starts playing

[@imperielgenecist1317]

Gooooooood mornin Vietnam!

[@ColdHawk]

Jack da ‘alf brain ork - Charlie inside the wire and the flares going up... Huh? What will I do next? Uhmmmm, go to Disney World?

[@spartan5713]

Welcome to Disney Star Wars, where: -Being run through by a lightsaber doesn’t kill you -Being thrown down a shaft, your body exploding, and then your body being further destroyed with the Death Star exploding doesn’t kill you…(side note, thing still looked in pretty good shape after being blown into a million pieces in Jedi) -Being sucked out into the vacuum of space doesn’t kill you. -Being shot by Chewie’s blaster and sliced across the head doesn’t kill you. -But a simple force projection kills the greatest Jedi through exhaustion.🙄

[@jacobmonks3722]

Being sucked into space kills you, but you can survive for a short time, assuming you don't implode from the lack of pressure (some advice, exhale everything if you ever have to be in a vacuum). Leia being a Jedi is an easy justification for her lasting longer. Also remember she was hospitalized and out of commission almost the whole rest of the movie, so it still had huge consequences. She didn't just move past it; she barely survived. Luke's projection is the single most intense usage of the Force we've seen in any of the movies. In Episode 5, Luke struggled with basic telekinesis, and in Episode 6, presumably after years of practice and honing his skills, he still couldn't fully control all his thoughts and emotions when it mattered most. There are always going to be feats that are difficult even for trained Jedi, and Force Projection just happened to be too much for Luke's old and out-of-practice body. I have no defense for the other ones, though. Palpatine should have stayed dead, and Kylo Ren, in general, is mishandled in the last movie.

[@andre_601]

Well, given the body language Luke gave and the established "lore" (big quotes here) that force projection apparently is also transporting physical stuff(?!) one can assume the lightsaber strike by Kylo did hurt Luke (You can see him touch his abdomen or smth, so it can be implied that some of the damage/pain went through)... Idk why I try to reason with the equivalent of the clown makeup meme here...

[@The_Burning_Sensation]

This trilogy ENDS by telling us the main characters' name.

[@arikutin1032]

Incorrectly

[@seashanty4597]

Yeah but so did RoboCop and RoboCop was awesome.

[@thinkwithurdipstick]

Sea Shanty RoboCop is more human than Rey

[@HorseTheWorld281]

@Loogi 12 Don't try to make excuses for the writing, JJ didn't care and you shouldn't either.

[@arikutin1032]

@@HorseTheWorld281 no. We once all cared about this saga. We deserve this retribution.

[@hysteria257]

I think you spent more time analysing the movie than the writers spent on the script.

[@jasonarthurs3885]

This needs more upvotes.

[@cormacb2326]

People have spent more time reading this comment then the writers spent thinking about their script.

[@garyhunt1973]

That was a job to them and there over it,we have still been suffering PTSD

[@KC_Smooth]

Let's be honest there were probably a lot of yes-men/women involved. JJ decided he wanted to "un-f*ck" everything Rian Johnson did with TLJ's story, without realizing his original plan for the trilogy was trash to begin with. Everyone involved with the production should be embarassed.

[@ohgeez4354]

He def spent a lifetime more than the writers of this abortion of a movie

[@danielomitted1867]

Im half surprised JJ didnt just write Luke as alive. Just say when we saw him fade away in TLJ he was just teleporting. Cause why not

[@randomfools808]

Would have helped the box office a lot.

[@AnnaMarianne]

JJ didn't make all the major plot choices. KK and the Lucas story group had the final word. JJ might have wanted Luke to live, like apparently Treworrov wanted Luke to live. If it's true KK and/or the Lucas story group hate Luke, then him living might have been off the table.

[@danielomitted1867]

@@AnnaMarianne shut it NERD

[@AnnaMarianne]

@@danielomitted1867 Nope, NORMIE

[@josephrutchik5777]

I mean, why not? They retconned just about everything else.