They Despise you because You DID This

[@joannarodriguez4713]

Girl, your videos are so informative. Love them. Thanks for all the info

[@Kim-yh9pe]

Love your reading stories ❤💕

[@Kim-yh9pe]

Thank you

[@Kim-yh9pe]

Love your honesty

[@kialove5364]

Yes

[@rayc9899]

They hate anybody that is better than them which is everybody...LOL

[@suskelleykelley7241]

Trust me a narc is angry because they want to be like you. You are sweet funny. Loving. Confident helpful. Outgoing. Attractive talented caring and therefore they hate your guts. They want to see you fall and fail. Then they feel Superior to you.

[@jamesrutter4100]

They more than want it. They set it up and try to make it happen. If your not paying attention they will do it to you.

[@jeanettewright5077]

Thanku x

[@Crackrocksteady]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 or that's their mask

[@irinasvidunovich6264]

What if it’s the husband , is it possible they can do the same?

[@suskelleykelley7241]

@@irinasvidunovich6264 Ohhh I feel such as in my case they want the attention not the wife!! I lost weight and people complimented me and later my hubby says " Why did they not notice I was 10 pounds thinner why do you get all the attention??". My Father left me a money gift to go to me only yet my hubby yelled and screamed at me cause he didn't get any money!! He kept telling I want a new computer and a big screen TV with your money!! I told him I wasn't going to spend it but I did to shut him up. Just a sample of issues

[@PaolaRL]

Narcissists are cruel: they find pleasure in making you suffer

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

1000% Correct Aren't they Great. We Live in the Light. They live in the Dark. There LOSS.

[@staceylozano4044]

💯💥💫 yes they are evil & sadistic and cruel. There always the good guy or hero. Never the bad guy..

[@redvelvetcakeYUM]

I knew my N-Ex was evil after forming a seemingly close relationship with my father who has dementia and after we (thankfully) ended he told me, “I would never want to see your father unless I was invited to his funeral”. That killed me inside. I was so shocked at how EVIL someone could be. Like why be so cruel?! His own father suffered the same fate as mine is right now. It’s so insidious.

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

Yeah that Sounds just like The Toxic Narcissist.

[@dianezielinski462]

Yup. Sadists

[@glittergirl3052]

I find myself feeling so discouraged about how many narcissistic people there are. Now that I’ve studied it for many years, I see it in more people. I have to be so careful who I trust. My circle has become much smaller these days.

[@HMMELD]

@glittergirl3052 So do I

[@brg2743]

Better than being with of them though. What a blessing to keep your dista ce and be the good person you are.

[@donnavorbach215]

Me too!

[@todddanforth8853]

Better to have a decent life alone than be continually upset with a narcissistic partner.

[@KC-xi8ml]

It's sad!

[@Langi_RRR]

Imagine finding pleasure in someone's pain. They just don't stop and don't care at all.

[@SweepDailyWin]

I know! They're horrible creatures

[@rodrigo100kk]

They are mentally ill people. Don't even try to understand them bro.

[@baronbruce83]

Kinda like living, breathing Terminators... they won't stop until they've erased the very thing they only wish they could be... sad huh? Put aside all the politics and b.s, but think about Trump (an unapologetic epitome of Narcissism) and his complete and utter disdain for Obama? As soon as he hit office, he did all within his power to erase Obama (from the hearts and minds of the people) not just himself, and that's the important part, to erase you in the eyes of others...

[@KL-zg7lu]

Horrifying.

[@willsolo1967]

I couldn't care less if a narcissist hates me or what they think of me

[@panfried7566]

10:30 - "You remind them of everything that they're not" - so accurate and narcissists are just oh, so envious what you do so naturally that they can only dream of. naturally, they hate you for it. thanks, Stephanie

[@fillyruffian1482]

Yes, you have something they will never have

[@ritalawson7020]

Years ago when I was slim and size 12 a big fat ugly nasty horrible woman was so jealous she even accused me of chasing her husband I laughed in her face nobody would want him he was such a weak kneed worm 😂😂😂😂😂

[@windysmith7367]

Very true. They are manipulators and liars and most, if not all of us, have values like morals, honesty, transparency, compassion and abide by them. We are also “light” for them because they live in a very pessimistic world.

[@debbievoss3496]

Both my mother & now my sister have unleashed this other worldly vehemence on me. It's so over the top.

[@loriliberty2706]

@@debbievoss3496 Don't let the bitches grind you down.

[@steveciarico9824]

A narcissist will never be as cruel as an empath who gets pissed off and no longer cares.

[@baldersn4474]

Thsts some strange logic ?

[@melanieh.3137]

“Level up and do better” 💫 literally the best way to medicate yourself from any narc

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

1000% Correct.

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

Melanie, I Love The Way You Think.

[@rainspiritflower2385]

Yes but please say how!

[@charisses3291]

Absolute…. Level Up and Do better!

[@ganymeade5151]

When a hawk or eagle is attacked by crows, the hawk or eagle flies higher and higher until it exhausts the crows who eventually give up or fall to their deaths.

[@jencaragia]

Stephanie so spot on! They blame you for their cruelty because you do not give supply. It's just all about "pay attention to me and make me feel good" and if you do not, they lie about you to be the victim. It's best, in my experience, to be expressionless and avoid as much as possible. Never reveal anything to them, whether verbally or via actions, because they WILL HOLD IT AGAINST YOU...The saying goes - Arguing with a narcissist is like getting arrested , anything you say can and will be used against you."

[@oscarwilliamson1128]

Jenny Caragia,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist…

[@conniesmith3177]

I was married for 38 yrs until his death. After we married he looked at me like hate me and how did I get mixed up with her. You are so right. He can push you to showing out and that's what he wants. The first time I listened to a narc podcast I started crying l was listening to my life s story. They don't care like talking to a wall I once cried like a baby and it did not touch him at all always indifferent to me. He worked me like I was his servant

[@adriennebeecker5000]

​@@conniesmith3177l

[@k.johnson6198]

Soo true😢

[@ChooseWiselyAlways]

Well said and so true! 😢

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

1. They can’t control you 2. Your not devastated by anything they did and became a better person from it. 3. Your Happy 4. You expose them for who they are. “The problem”. 5. 6.

[@julieklinefelter9024]

They love you to death3

[@firemelon7296]

You are/you're*.

[@elisaDiane]

100

[@elisaDiane]

@@firemelon7296 relax

[@giselle-qx9kz]

Thank u

[@Pinkdiamond12]

Exactly, how can they be better and work on themselves when they never acknowledge their flaws in the first place.

[@nowthriving]

The narcissist will not SAY or ADMIT to what they did. They will give a blanket statement and not say, exactly what they did. When they cheat, they will never say "I cheated..." They will shift the blame and say "You weren't meeting my needs..." These people are DEMONIC!

[@neicyluv553]

Or they'll say, " you drove me into her arms!"

[@nowthriving]

@@neicyluv553 Isn't it sadistic how they ALWAYS place the blame on someone else and NEVER themselves?

[@neicyluv553]

@@nowthriving classic gaslighting techniques. They are the scum of the earth!!

[@groawning1345]

Demonic to the T!!!!!

[@jamesrutter4100]

Poor needy little crybabys

[@beatrizviedma9859]

This is really helpful, one thing I would do is replace the word “discard” with release, a narcissist doesn’t discard you because you are not a thing, they release you, set you free from their miserable reality.

[@stormchild831]

You are, indeed, a "Thing" to the narcissist, who uses and then discards you. Such a relationship is, never about Respect. They believe they "own" you, because you are nothing more,to them, than a mere object, a possession, to be used. Release is what ~You, do, the narcissist is ,only, about enslavement, abuse and ultimate destruction. Therefore, you release yourself from the dark dungeon of the narcissist's lair. You, alone, Set, Yourself, Free....

[@neicyluv553]

Relax, relate, release!! Lol!: Released from their sadistic clutches for good!!

[@mirananaim5971]

Beautiful comment👍👍👍

[@CyberVamp01]

Hooray 🎉

[@louisetaylor6952]

Thank you so much, Beatriz, that is a wonderful idea!

[@nicholecornes1915]

All the empaths are picking ourselves up and moving on! Trust me they want you devastated when you are happy

[@lisahalajian4544]

My mother's a narcissist and I married one. But I am doing really well. I have learned not to engage with either of them for too long. I live my life and do whatever makes me happy. You are so 💯 correct

[@HMMELD]

@lisahalajian4544

[@lynneroberts3628]

😢

[@todddanforth8853]

I am so glad you have been able to live a good life without letting the narcs jerk you around. 👏👏👏👏👏

[@sunnymagnuson1809]

BINGO! You hit the nail on the head. After about 3 months living in a roommate situation w/a npd person i felt like she was more like a wild animal from time to time than a human. I’m dead serious.

[@bobtaylor170]

My cousin, Donald. These people are monsters.

[@HMMELD]

@sunnymagnuson1809 In what way

[@GarconPremier]

Leave, go no contact, use silence. Watch them dry to death slowly. YOU WERE THE SUPPLY, feed it to yourself. You got this. My mother raised me to be the narcs supply Find ur enabler, you will see them much clearly.

[@nataliedulaney8347]

How do you do it when you have small children with them?

[@GarconPremier]

Yes, you can do it, you got this. Do not let that limitation he put in your mind bring you down. I BELIEVE in you, remember narcs want you to believe you cannot do anything without them.

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

@@nataliedulaney8347 you plan your exist carefully. I grew up in a Narc how and wish my mum had left the Narc men she married but she choose to prioritise them over her kids. It was dysfunction and..not positive. Now I’m older and I understand everything, I loose a lot of respect for my mother due to this choice. She is now in her 50thies and still remains a doormat to the Narc. She’s let herself go, she doesn’t look good for her age due to all the stress, misery and pain Narc put her through. Your kids are watching abs they’ll thank you for leaving.💕xxx

[@jonathanomahony688]

You can do this, I did After 35 years and I have 2 teenagers. You were only there to meet there needs and fill them up. They never loved you the way you loved them. They were only paying along with you. Everything you did for them as a loving wife, was only to fill them up. Shame on them for leading us on for all these years. NOW WISE UP WOMEN........ TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE AND LIVE FOR YOU AND YOU ALONE. GIVE ALL THE LOVE AND CARE TO YOURSELF. DO NICE THINGS FOR YOURSELF. MOVE ON WITH DIGNITY AND GRACE. LET THESE MONSTERS TO THEMSELVES. THEY WILL ALWAYS BE FULL OF ANGER AND MISSABLE. YOU ARE WORTH ALOT MORE THAN WHAT THESE MONSTERS HAD FOR YOU. RISE UP FROM THEM. BE THE BEST FOR YOURSELF. YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR LIFE. Go on and live the best years of your life.

[@cs.8821]

They won't dry to themselves because they found another supply

[@beautifully_averagepanda4427]

Mine was a abusive physically and mentally and gaslighted me. He had little empathy and always made me out to be crazy to other people. Then when I found out I had cancer he left me after a short time and I believe he was writing someone while I slept at night because I caught him on his phone. Even though I caught him red handed he denied it. Ridiculous. So he left me at my weakest moment. Then out of the blue he sends me flowers for valentines day and said he loved me but then he blocks me. I guess to toy with me. Idk. It hurts because he knows I love him. I need to move on and heal because obviously he doesn't love me.

[@nollie9311]

Omg girl. My narc is like that to me. I just found out I have cancer a few months ago, and the decline of our relationship has sped up exponentially. Due to my diagnosis, I started standing up for myself a lot more. Idgaf. I also suspect something else is happening to. Anyways I hope you’re doing well now. I have surgery tomorrow! I’m just concentrating on healing, and separating myself from the beliefs he has about me.

[@beautifully_averagepanda4427]

@@nollie9311 Thank you and best of luck to you and your healing. I went through chemo and now am having surgery this month so we will be healing together in a sense. Life is way to short to let the A holes make us miserable. Hugs!

[@beautifully_averagepanda4427]

@@skyeblu817 I'm doing ok. I have surgery coming up and then hopefully remission if God grants me it. Thanks for asking. So many people are dealing with cancer and other health issues and I wish them the best. The one thing I learned is how important mental health is and how it can hurt us physically as well. I hope you are having a great day!

[@nollie9311]

@@beautifully_averagepanda4427 I hope you are doing well! I’m a few days post surgery. I realized it was only exactly 1 month from my diagnosis to the date of my surgery. What a hellish month it’s been.

[@tyreeduncan896]

He's sick that's it period.

[@RippleDrop.]

It's really hard when it gets to this point - when you are getting better and they triple down on you attempting to prevent you from healing.

[@grittygoddess]

Evil.

[@killadjango6995]

bingo!💯🎯

[@michelleg5371]

Thank you for sharing this .I’ve left my narcissist husband of 20 years . Everything you are saying is so so spot on . Ive been living alone for the past 3 years just healing . The divorce went to court last week .it’s done .thank you for making me feel normal . God they are evil cruel people.now I’m feeling a lot better thank god I can laugh now .and I’m actually so glad I did leave him . He’s ruined the first half of my life he’s not going to ruin the last half . I’m moving away to another state .far far away from him . Just imagine when I do go ? Lol that’s what he gets . He knows he will never meet anyone like me . I looked after him 100% . Did everything for him .oh well . He a said to me when I left him he says I never thought you would leave me hahahaha I did .plus have my own house hehehehe .

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

Good for you! X

[@pollytheparrot8929]

God bless 😍☺🙏

[@marijacowan7749]

Indeed they are evil. The Bible says, if you are persecuted in one town, shake the dust off your feet there and move to another. Leave the demonic bastard and don't be his slave.

[@michelleg5371]

@@mindfulpeace8060 I’m so sorry I’ve only just found these comments a month later 🙄. And to answer your question yes I did do research on the internet and yes you must have a plan .it took me roughly a year to make my mind up and go .I didn’t want to I loved him 🙄. I’m in Australia I rang this number that call themselves respect .I told the lady what had happened.I told her I have no friends and no family I had absolutely no one and not one cent .he controlled the money .she told me first to go to my local police station and get a avo out on him .just incase .and from there they should be able to help me .which they did .yes do you know he sat on the lounge and watch me pack my car .I left with just my clothes and I left .he didn’t try to stop me .he was seeing some girl he works with .so I guess he didn’t care 🤷‍♀️he’s weird 😉. So the police took me to the hospital I was pretty upset and scared . Than they took me to our community centre and the girls helped me so much .they put me in a share house for 3 months .I didn’t care I was just grateful that I wasn’t going to be living out of my car .after that 3 months I got my own house .where I am today . But I do live n the country and it’s different to living over on the coast .if I lived on the coast it would of taken 10 years to get a place . But hear no where near the wait .there’s not as many people . I don’t mind I’m a lot safer living by myself hear than I would be on the coast . So make sure you have a plan .the worst part and the hardest part is putting your foot out the front door .it’s scary .stupid really now I look back .no one will hurt you people will only help you if you ask .explain your situation and they are more than happy to help . I’m lonely but I guess it’s better than being abused or ignored.I don’t cry nearly as much . Sometimes I still do because I can’t get over what he’s done .but I will it’s just time .please don’t waste another minute get out . You will be a,right .take one step at a time .yes it’s really scary but it’s better than living a life of lies .I promise you will be alright in time . Please let me know what you decide to do if you have left and if you are alright ? Remember one step at a time it will be alright .And from the bottom of my heart I truly wish you all the very best and you go girl . 💪☺️💞💞.

[@gloriahorvath3778]

Sounds so similar to me, but I’m almost 30 yrs in. I left 13 months ago. Not divorced yet. He was mentally, emotionally and physically abusive. I told him for a year that I was leaving. Now he says he never thought I’d do it.

[@zabraarms3865]

I've found Peace in my LIFE since I've walked away from all the TOXIC Behavior people. Before I was always blindsided by their TOXIC Behavior. Couldn't understand why me. Now I've done my research. & know why. Being around Narcissistic people, are SO DANGEROUS for your well-being. 💯 THAT CAN REALLY DISTORY YOURSELF!! 💯😢

[@prant8998]

What I always heard after I received the intentional abusive behavior, got no apology, and I actually told others what happened, she would say, “Why did you throw me under the bus?” (Like she was the victim!) As long as we kept the abuse, our little secret, she could say hurtful things with impunity. The best thing, film it, show your family and then tell them you outed them. Abuse happens in secrecy.

[@nataliegreenham]

I have recorded some awful stuff.

[@prant8998]

@@nataliegreenham Yes, Natalie, a recording is a good way to remind yourself of what is going on. We tend to be too forgiving and actually have, "abuse amnesia,” where we minimize or forget the bad times when the abuser is nice to us. We want those good times so much, they dominate our thinking.

[@killadjango6995]

bingo!!💯🎯

[@BCHODOSH01]

Excellent video! The best way to deal with these toxic cluster B's is to not get involved in the first place. They will damage you mentally, emotionally, and physically. If you were in a relationship with them and no longer are then go no contact. Take time for yourself, heal from their abuse, and just move on to a better life. It will take some time to heal from their crap, so be patient with yourself. Learn the lessons you needed to learn from this crappy experience so you can make better choices in the future and have a better life.Thanks Stephanie. BTW, beautiful sweater.

[@prant8998]

It’s hard to do Robert. When you come across someone that fills all your fantasies about what would be ideal, you’re going to go for it. Pretty soon you’re in too deep and getting out is far harder than staying in. At least in the short term. For me, it just became a cumulation of all the BS, and the straw that broke the camels back. My family, (outside of it), where saying to me WTF?

[@BCHODOSH01]

@@prant8998 very true. I was love bombed and idolized in the beginning and thought i had found my dream come true. Actually turned into a huge nightmare. Yes, best to not get involved, but unfortunately you don't know who your dealing with and before you know it your deep into a mess and getting trauma bonded which keeps you in this mess.

[@dianezielinski462]

Exactly. Literally a crappy relationshit

[@dianezielinski462]

That's it literal Taurus Bull shit...

[@vdeans08]

@@dianezielinski462 funnily enough my narcissist ex is a Taurus lol

[@peterknyk1942]

"Let me count the ways" the narc generates this kind of horrific control cruelty..... 😱 thank you Stephanie for this video!

[@CurlyFries120]

Narcissists are clearly mentally ill people. I know someone who now put me in the "discard phase(like I care). He literally told me: "The person who cares least in the relationship has all the power" Lol I immediately lost all respect and I was thinking.. "if that's how you feel, well 2 can play at that game" I still think to myself "wtf did I see in this person" lmao 🙄😂

[@carinfelska5774]

Long time to learn, these narcissistic people are good at lies

[@jane7627]

So true!! "Relentlessly vindictive" so freaking amazing! He can't stand that I threw him out after he mistreated me and was adulterous. It bothers my ex (aka: "pig") that I am doing well, he would do anything possible to hurt me. So correct: smear campaign, cruel, vicious, playing the victim to our mutual friends. I have cut all communication (I don't let him get his jollies by reacting) , but still really hurtful. Thank you for all your explainations, I had no idea that narcs existed, thought I was going crazy after being with this bastard. I am in a great place now ( dealing with the backlash for sure but better every day!). God bless you ladies out there dealing with a Narc.You must get away from them, it's a matter of self preservation 🙏🥰

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

👏🏽👏🏽

[@dianezielinski462]

Yup damaging & dangerous

[@jasminesharif9439]

I can’t begin to tell you how blessed I feel for finding you. My friend connected me to you. You are one of the reasons why I’m trying to move forward after 40 years.

[@maryht]

Me too, 40 yrs... it's tough but I am trying to see the light at the end of this tunnel. I believe it's there.

[@willsolo1967]

40 years? God bless your soul

[@Just1Sauce]

I realized this after 40 years as well.

[@kathyfoley397]

@@Just1Sauce took me 50 years.

[@savewaterdrinkwine3802]

33 years....I think we have served our sentences.....Love to you all 💕

[@yedon68]

I lived w/ a narcissist father from 10yrs old until I left home at 19...he chose 2 out of 5 siblings to hate & abuse & attempted murder...I can't begin to express the fear we lived in he died over 50 yrs ago & Im still here at 77...God blessed me to escape!

[@killadjango6995]

🙏🏽💜

[@misha2197]

❤❤❤

[@abowling5759]

The biggest complement I’ll ever get?…..what a super great way to think about getting discarded by a narcissist!….this video really does help me parent myself. I love the way you break down all the reasons the toxic person hates us. It reinforces exactly how it really is “all about them”….. Indeed, it is the biggest complement to be rejected by a toxic person. I’ll take that any day!

[@eddydewilde4958]

You are spot on. That was one of her lines when I gave her my side of the story" It's not about you!" haha thank you

[@Ellie_100]

I watch your videos almost everyday as it reminds me why I shouldn’t blame myself for what had happened. I’ve been practicing self parenting and loving myself each and every day. Thank you, Stephanie! 💕

[@georgiafrancis9059]

Don't blame yourself for anything, believe me there are plenty of people who will blame you for everything.....it's their MO......especially if you are the eagle and they are the crow.....

[@poetcomic1]

She hated me at the end because I was generous and polite and once the papers were all signed I turned my back and walked away from her with a bounce in my step I had never had.

[@killadjango6995]

🙏🏽💜

[@gracelikerain5039]

Teenagers need people like you to tell them its not their fault especially when your parents are narcissistic this is what causes suicide in teenagers and depression

[@trainerkarin1]

💯

[@killadjango6995]

bingo!!💯💯🎯

[@misha2197]

Exactly.

[@sabrinabell2651]

Same for my husband. I learned how to be narcissist just like him. I meditated for hours and days to be a cold hearted narcissist and then I started treating him the same way he was treating me.. I was mirroring him and he was very surprised and he was slowly slowly withdrawing back from hurting me and he started to be more careful around me.

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

Why did you not leave instead of making him change who you were and entering the darkness. A question not a judgement. Hope your okay.💕x

[@mylittlekittens]

@@user-of9bx1uk3u agreed.

[@purplelove5596]

I’m doing the same to my husband he has verbally abused me for years. I didn’t know who I was for a long time. Depressed unhappy. So now I’m currently treating him how he treats me and I stay happy all day singing and laughing all day with my baby. He is doing the silent treatment and I’m so used to it now I just think it’s sad that he thinks this is mature. An petty argument about him not sleeping in the same room with me after 2 years I complained more about it and now a silent treatment. I have so much up my sleeve he will come home one day and I will be gone. The process has already started he just don’t know.

[@marlawright4476]

You are amazing! I have been needing to hear this since a narcissist majorly screwed me up in the head 2 years ago! Maybe now I can stop ruminating, thank you! Just so pissed at myself for ignoring the red flags in the beginning. Never again!

[@windysmith7367]

Don’t blame yourself. Recognizing it and accepting it is part of the healing journey. So many different types of narcissists…some are very deceiving and it takes a while to see it all. Just stay no contact and you will recover. ❤

[@solavarria1]

The feeling is mutual. The more I learn about the narcs the more upset I am with myself that I couldn’t get a read on this early in my relationship that is now my marriage. But, after thinking that I was the problem, I now feel a bit relieved that I am actually normal. Moving forward I am not going to be myself up anymore.

[@godlover9918]

My X did the whole L*O*V*E bomb, devalue, and discard thing. When the discard arrived, I complied and then went radio silent, never texting or had any phone conversations during the entire separation phase. During that time his hatred escalated to full zenith, even though he was the one wanting the divorce, go figure-I found this to be very interesting. I was cool with the divorce and it made him crazy...I'm getting more info about narcissists on the daily and thank god it was only 4 years spent with him. But that 4 years made me rethink a lot about re-enlisting in another one. Scary stuff.

[@nivsm7472]

Going through something similar..fully understand...it hurts so much and takes a lot to be strong...videos such as these enlightens and provides with much needed answers

[@dianezielinski462]

Toxic & dangerous !!

[@Mags765]

🙌🏽

[@angelsummers6555]

Bottom line they crazy! 🤣 I found out the hard way.

[@KC-tv4kx]

I literally spent half the day crying because of how controlling my soon to be narc ex-husband is. He’s so cruel and his actions are so evil. I question my own sanity still. He’s filed for sole legal and physical custody and filed to stop all support when I was a stay at home mom. Nevermind him moving out with his mistress and getting her pregnant when our divorce isn’t finalized. This divorce process is hell.

[@spacegirl226]

God bless you, KC. It hurts like hell right now, but you will feel so much better when you realize you are free from that jerk and no longer have to put up with his sour moods and bad attitude and threats. You will be free. Don't give up. Keep going!

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

Focus on you and healing.💕x

[@phoenixrising5205]

Oh KC, the stories you and I could trade. You describe my own break up literally word for word only it was myself that was told to leave and within a week started receiving a daily bombardment of divorce requests, texts, calls, emails. I begged her to let me at least catch my breath that our marriage was suddenly over and was still trying to comprehend not kissing my daughters good night before the new guy was sleeping IN my house within 6 weeks. They’re married now, she married him on our own anniversary the following year and had my 3 beautiful little girls as their bridesmaids. She still texts me daily, constant criticism… it’s now been 4 years and still she doesn’t leave me alone despite having a new husband and a baby plus a the huge house she always wanted. I’m far happier in myself, free and away from her, but it’s the constant barrage of abuse and put downs that still wear me down. Stephanie’s video this week couldn’t have come through at a more appropriate time 😞

[@KC-tv4kx]

@@phoenixrising5205 I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s awful. People who have never been with a narcissist how no idea how cruel they can really be, especially when kids are involved. Hoping you continue to find peace daily.

[@mschlund1]

they make stuff up and lie, talk to a lawyer, your ex has no control, do not under any circumstance believe anyghinf he says!!! keep re cord if every single thing he says and does with datesand times.... my ex did the same ploys of control, they want to scare you into doing what thry want, their way. HE HAS NO POWER, NO CONTROL, but you must keep a detailed log, get professional advice,

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you for This great video! You have described those situations perfectly well! Narcisistic people are like addicts who need a high to live! They bounce from one high to another being dead inbetween! They hate the life that is shining from those who are alive!

[@ulricka2131]

Perfectly delivered. This really motivates me to keep doing the work and become. the best version of myself!

[@lisahalajian4544]

Same

[@geetataneja2188]

Stuck with a narcissist for 22 years always confused about the deep hatred lies confusion knew nothing about narcissism

[@resilient8788]

As someone finally on the healing path I'm hear to say that every word just spoken it truth. Good video Stephanie

[@vladquebec]

That's A very good topic to cover, after divorcing my narcissistic ex-wife, she was cruel and horrible to me. It was indeed because she couldn't control me.

[@mariatcrist]

Thank you Stephanie for all your wisdom. Your videos helped me survive a hellish relationship w my colleague at work for over 2yrs. She has finally left which is great!

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

That’s great news! 🙌🏽 I pray the Narcs at my job leave too.. 🙏🏽xx

[@julieannfrikuj6346]

despised because I said NO and set boundaries

[@lrajic8281]

THANK YOU! It's reassuring that I am not misinterpreting the wicked, selfish, peevish, hurtful, etc. things these people do! All those who are suffering, I pray for you. Please send prayers my way too! I heard from many sources who talk about the narc hating you, and they do hate you but won't admit it. Like a person living in a false reality, they are the only ones who have it right, and if you tell them, it's denial denial denial. And then revenge. Most likely smear campaign, then revenge.

[@aniqagulzeb]

I am actually scared now. Its been a few days since I have been discarded by a narcissist and right now that person is trying to guilt trap me by giving silent treatment. Its actually shocking to know that I have been with abused for so long without even realising it. Things went so bad to the point that I was being constantly undermined, verbally abused and almost on the verge of being physically abused, the saddest thing is that I still stayed inspite of all this until that person left. But I am happy right now and I know that no matter what i won't be going back. I am actually thankful for the fact that the toxic person has gone. From this video I think the days to come are going to be really difficult for me . I don't know how badly I am going to be hurt. I just hope i survive this.

[@bookbeing]

This is so helpful and applies to family members as well as romantic partners.

[@MarionHuibers-zj5cn]

Absolutely! I'm dealing with four of five siblings right now. Myself being the youngest and my brother the second youngest are not this way. My brother is really good at minding his own business. I got sucked in by my sisters especially and the oldest brother wanting me to leave my current husband. The problem is my husband is a very good judge of character and has made me aware of my siblings toxic ways. He always says "people don't change, accepting this is step one and do not react is step two. I have become angry many times because I'm not thin enough, I'm behaving poorly because I'm having fun and enjoying myself 😮 I could go on and on. Everything came to a head recently with two sisters. One is an enabler/flying monkey/minion for the other narcissistic sister. She brought up a family issue from 22 years ago (borrowed money from our Dad) who was also a narcissist (but was easier on the two youngest children). My mother thankfully was very nurturing and dud her best to protect the younger children from our father's wrath. I digress. My enabling sister said to me that the narcissistic sister didn't trust me because I didn't pay our father back. I did pay some of the money back (which was not a significant amount) and she accused me of stealing their inheritance. I became angry and hurt and told the enabling sister that she wasn't perfect either and hung up. That was over a month ago. I have blocked them because I need therapy and have received it before and will continue down this path. Stephanie Lyn is amazing and calming. Thank you for these videos.

[@julietteSoul]

They are so jealous, period

[@markmayes194]

This video is, in its entirety, absolutely right. It's funny that, many of the scenarios and situations she described, resonated with me so much that, on a mental note, I literally was able to complete each situation with her exact conclusion. I can attest that narcissism is a problem that can, if left unchecked, result in the total mortification of one's ability to respect and appreciate their self- worth. Thank you for being REAL.

[@teresaorth7832]

I had to look up the meaning of mortification...........it was quite eye opening. Then I reread your comments and much more deeply understood your choice of that word.

[@anilaj9868]

Spot on, luckily I have a protective order and my narc husband was charged with assault so we have had no communication during our divorce so I went from crazy roller coaster emotional ride with him to no contact and peace. But before he was just horrible to me.

[@SoniaProteau-cj6tk]

I am grateful for my healing journey since June 2020, understanding family dynamics is worth to me than money.

[@devin837]

I already knew everything you said. Happy to hear it confirmed from an expert though. The one of the five that stands out the most is when you are difficult to control and manipulate. She hated that shit and I felt her frustration. But one thing I never knew until two years ago, after being accustomed to her draining destructive behavior was that she is Narc. So that lead me to think naively that she could change for the better bcI did keep her at a distance. Had I known she has a severe personality disordered, I would have cut her off completely. When a narcissist can't control you, it become's "thirst for blood" in their minds. Meaning they will wait patiently for years if needed to find you in a vulnerable state like she found me and was able to wreck havoc on my life while I was suffering from personal family and life issues that she dumped gasoline on and made a 100 times worst. Narcissist can really devastate your life Be careful. I learned a huge valuable lesson. I'm so much more aware of my surroundings now.

[@GloxGlox-nl4cd]

Oh boy, you are so right about the results of exposing them. It's like it's your fault that they did whatever.

[@angelamarie79]

- When the narc is a Christian and they redefine words... Control = "You should Submit" ... Their Anger = "I'm just Passionate" ... My Anger = I am being "Nasty" ... I feel like my situation is slightly unique in that he doesn't want to hurt people in fact goes out of his way to overly help others in many situations, but doesn't have anyone in his life to help him... He's "the best" "most qualified" at most everything in his own mind. He almost never gives me positive feedback, only "constructive criticism" - when I point out that he doesn't give me encouragement he says "I am sorry that I'm the guy who always thinks of why things can be done better". I think I would fall over honestly if I ever had an empathetic response from him... like "I am so sorry, I see you and you did an amazing job, I am so impressed, good job" - or something like that. I have been recording conversations, have a file 2inches thick of records, and watch hours of videos - he does Zero work on our issues except pay for the counseling he hopes will fix me. That said WHY are they SO GOOD at the love bombing and hoovering, where I can't remember all of the sleepless nights and dark dark weeks ... like they never existed until of course they do again.

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

That’s no way to live life with a significant other. Why are you still with him. If your not happy leave. X

[@dakoderii4221]

That is a fake Christian. Matthew 7:21-23 21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? 23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil. 1 Corinthians 13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

[@kainatzahra9549]

Hey! Love yourself and get rid of him.. watch Stephanie's video about Trauma bond.. it'll help you alot hopefully ❤ stay strong and please get rid of anyone who is destroying you

[@karlataylor1172]

True. They never ever admit fault. Ever.

[@craigmerkey8518]

Thank you for all the great information! I was chuckling at your examples! Why does this personality despise you? Get in line, they despise everyone and most likely everything. It is a one trick pony show that hasn't changed since middle school!

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

Exactly right!!!! I have seen a lot of this in my life. I am convinced they are being driven by a devil, they actually think they are justified in hurting us, that's what all the blaming is about.

[@ΜαραΗλιοπουλου]

You are awesome and you really help people! Thank you for becoming part of my life🙂🙂

[@Godgirl42]

I just can’t get enough of these videos because it’s like you have been a fly on the wall through my whole marriage. I am not the crazy one. I can actually put a name to it now and go forward and heal with no contact. I’m still going through therapy and learning more about the true meaning of the trauma bond. Meanwhile he is smearing my name and going downhill fast with his alcoholism. People will see I’m the healthier one with the big heart and at this point I don’t care what people think anymore.

[@lesshustlemorecoffee]

Thank you so much for your dealings with narcissistics videos! They are fabulous. You are helping so many!

[@janiceclarke5723]

When they try to destroy you and your children. It's horrible. I do not understand and never will. What they are doing now is horrible.

[@Ben_D.]

Thank you for all your hard work Steph

[@howardgilling3255]

My issue was # 1, she couldn't control me. She was like a pilot trying to fly an airplane with one wing.

[@daniellemorse6929]

This video is amazing, Stephanie. I so need to hear this. I've seen ex narc out a couple of times and the looks I get are pure hatred. I'm struggling with the fact that someone can hate someone who loved them so much even when the narcissist gets a new supply. Thanks for helping us survivors cope with the damage they've inflicted.

[@jauanae]

Thank you Stephanie! Your videos talk To me deeply. I felt devastated for being treated as a criminal by someone that I loved in a real friendship. To be hated by a special person, hurts so bad. I feel confused, sad and feckless. You are doing a beautiful job helping us to understand what is non understandable.

[@armorvestrus4119]

This Lady is brilliant.

[@georgiachatzitheodoridou3806]

Love you, Stephanie! That's exactly what happens! I 'm moving on with my life leaving all these toxic relationships behind.

[@thebalancedbiteregina]

Thank you Stephanie for the great video. My narcissist husband left again today (4th time this year) after I supported him 100 percent. He said he was leaving because we fought all the time. But it was his tactic. He would go out of his way to be so mean and loved to put me on eggshells all the time! I am glad he’s gone. Even if I live my life alone from now on it’s better than the miserable life I had with him!

[@nicholecornes1915]

Time to cutt it off

[@AmourofgodShinelight]

This was absolutely tremendous Stephanie, Thank you so much for this, SPEAKS VOLUMES, You're absolutely beautiful and understanding, You get it, I love this community, We are not alone, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God 💜♱💛☘👽❤💚💗💙🕆😃⚖✌🦄🐎😘🍄🕊👁🌲🌹🌌

[@kmc7062]

This may be one of your absolute best videos ever. Even when I think I’ve plateaued with my understanding of what I went through with my psychotic toxic narcissistic ex- I still gain new and helpful insight(s) from your videos. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all you do. Your approach and delivery to help us understand not only what we’ve been through but how to find our footing again has been more of a lifeline to me than I ever would have guessed I needed. I am incredibly grateful 🙏🏻

[@davidjthayer7417]

My thoughts. Thanks for sharing !!

[@markdow1093]

I have watched a fair share of your podcasts, & you nail it 110% about those kind's of people, I dated 1 of almost 7 years & the last year & a half was a living hell with her, between the cheating, stealing & lying about everything, she always put me out to be the blame of it all, I caught her at it all, that ended 3 years ago & I couldn't be anymore happier she's gone, she's tried reaching out to me numerous of times, even having new boyfriend's , I got sick of it & blocked her on all social media & my cellphone, now she communicates to my son, to get to me again, I put a stop to that as well, she's a very sick individual 😳 keep up the great work on educating people about this bad, sick, & disturbing disease 👍😎🤙😊🎉

[@targetedtyranny4661]

I messed up the not reacting, I didn't understand what was happening, I freaked completely out,I was getting accusations, thought this group, "flying monkeys" were going to we me up ruin my life, which they did ruin my life, but I went through all the emotions, and they got all the reactions they wanted.

[@davidm4842]

It's amazing how right you are, I just can't believe it 😮

[@lanag9318]

Stephanie I agree with you completely on all of this as you are so right about everything here . This video has been so helpful to me thank you so much .No one should have to live this way . God bless you always 🌹💖💖🎉

[@travelwithsouthernchick5112]

😮😮So true married to one!!!! They just don’t care 🤷🏽‍♀️ they like hurting others!

[@raelenephillips4707]

Going through a divorce with my narc ex and this is so helpful to understand NPD. I get so excited when you post new videos. They have really helped me with my healing journey. Thank you, Stephanie.

[@dianebarrack950]

I just want to say thank you. These video have help me understand things alot better. I blindsided by my partner and the pain/trauma was unreal. Healing now and moving forward.

[@j_u_ss_y]

Stephanie, thank you so much for this video. I've been in therapy for a few months and I still struggled with the guilt of leaving my narcissistic ex. This video has given me the closure I needed to move on completely. Thanks a million.

[@groawning1345]

Guilt ! U are one lucky lady! All I feel is shame for myself, can't believe the rabbit hole I've put myself in for someone who now has something he can always use to blackmail me if I don't just hopefully become a quiet non reactive puppy through all his attempts to strike at me and get a reaction whilst at work with him Monday to saturday

[@matthewwozniak9138]

You have a vibrational healing voice. Thank you.

[@stardust_88]

My ex cheated on me, I vented a lot about my trauma and my “friend” his sister, turned against me bc I was telling the world about what he did to me and she didn’t like it, so she became very cruel towards me and ended our friendship. It was in that moment that I knew she was toxic. She even did the smear campaign saying how I was the problem and how I should just get over it.

[@user-of9bx1uk3u]

The sister sounds like she’s also, a Narc.

[@trekkint6073]

Or a flying monkey

[@gc8972b]

you are constantly reminding the narc is a human and that helps to dissolve resentment. there are no enemies, only teachers. thank you for sharing your insights, stephanie.

[@heatherroberson1648]

"How do I hate thee..." I agree

[@robinsmith4499]

Dealing was a family member so this was a good reminder to always be prepared for the game! It’s exhausting but there are no other options. 😢😢😢😢

[@valenciawalker6498]

Very informative., Yes , responding and not emotionally react. Yes , highly emphatic and see the best in people and always hold myself accountable.

[@corrinjames305]

You have some magnificent strong points, including the facts of the explanation within this particular narcissistic explanation video this is a very good teaching moment and I can now see why I have went through a particular bad problem thank you wow..

[@andersa3448]

What amaze me is that they all are acting the same way. It's like they are programmed. They are having steps that they are following each time.

[@merriprchlik5969]

Evil spirit

[@barbarawaddell-steele3603]

One thing I learned is when you deal with a narcissist, know your self be strong and always have boundaries. If they detect you have low self esteem issues, then they will toxically and hatefully mistreat you.

[@williesmith3466]

You are so, so, so right in everyone of the points you have brought up. Thank you!!!

[@bjb0808]

You’re the best, Stephanie. Thank you so much.

[@mikegrass7325]

You are exactly correct. I asked my wife every day why she hates me. And I did every day until I figured out that she was a narcissist. Because I couldn’t understand it. Now I know exactly why thanks to your videos.

[@raymond.mcdannell6317]

You hit home runs on your videos thank you

[@rhondacooper7957]

Your videos are spot on thank you for sharing.😊

[@balozhende5727]

They are ruthlessly competitive with everyone.

[@peterknyk1942]

That is an absolutely beautiful sweater, Stephanie! I used to own a women's clothing store with the ex narc....😌

[@Gabeloveyou]

You save me. Make copious notes to study over and over. Adore you, Girl ❤❤❤.

[@chrissyf4884]

Exactly! You said things I’ve questioned for a few years now and you answered them for me. Thank you 😊

[@peacefaith560]

he never could control me, or think for me , and im not scared of them !

[@dawnkikong637]

This makes sense. It starts for some of us when we're kids and I can't imagine what I could have done as a child to "go against" her. Maybe I said a big "No" when I was 2-years-old or something. Too bad, very sad. And she is getting worse the healthier I get. I mostly pity her now.

[@dawnkikong637]

I wonder if that's why it's so hard to break away - because as I grow stronger they weaken, and it feels like it's me hurting them. If it's me or them I have to choose me, but I want to rise above duality. So then I return to love, to thinking I can love them into wellness. But that doesn't seem to work either so on I go...

[@sreed5633]

Excellent video. Thank you so much! I'm improving on responding instead of reacting. I was devalued by abusive friends who husband enabled, and also discovered after so much education that he also has so many traits, tactics used. Called him out on a variety of things he did. Says now I'm devaluing him by pointing out his selfish, ignorant, entitled behavior...Lord please help me. It's easy to get caught up trying to defend myself, yet I stand firm in what I know and have discovered. Alot of insidious behavior. Thanks to God for good intuition. I've k nown something was "off" for many years, but only recently could put a name to it. Bewildering to put it mildly. I pray for strength many times a day and for all who are going through this. Bless you for all your help and support!

[@TammyLynn929]

I needed this! Thank you! So freeing! 🙌🏼

[@markbowman5515]

insane how on point this topic of narcissistic personality disorder has related to my situation in your videos. Understanding this has helped me by leaps and bounds toward healing. Thank you!