DEALING WITH JEALOUS AND COMPETITIVE FRIENDS!

[@lorismith8479]

If your friends are jealous and competitive with you, RUN don’t walk away!!!

[@AnthonyManzio]

Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start mobbing once again, I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Never let these low life lazy bums win ever win.

[@AbsoluteMdot]

100%

[@gaurs230]

I know right I swearrr this is so annoying

[@adriancampbell630]

Right!

[@MS-ns4ki]

I didn’t run I flew and now I am on fire lmao

[@andersdottir1111]

People who ‘compete’ with you consistently are not your friends- get rid of them.

[@LXSeaV]

Plain and simple! I regret how long I was patient with people who always needed to be better than me or all hell breaks loose.

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

They try to be superior and it can be subtle. Put downs, little insults or lecturing.

[@Abstractthoughts007]

What if it's your sister and your mom

[@andersdottir1111]

@@Abstractthoughts007 restrict your time with them. When they start being competitive you can either call them out on it or just don’t take the bait.

[@pinky-ud1rt]

I did get rid of them amen

[@AbsoluteMdot]

I learned to just not deal with them anymore and cut them off. It's too draining and stressful. The One upping, Jealously, Envy, mimic/copying me, Competition when your not even in competition with them, cutting me off while I am talking , gossip, excluding me, and the cattiness gets old.

[@laurapaintsss]

Omg 100%!!! Exactly this.

[@MrVocalist567]

Damn you just described the person I'm dealing with

[@karatequantum1095]

what if they are siblings or in laws?

[@AbsoluteMdot]

@@karatequantum1095 Little to no contact as much as possible

[@anisbennacer]

My little brother

[@LXSeaV]

After having friends like this in past, I immediately distance from people like this. They’re liabilities and they will sabotage and obstruct whenever they get the opportunity. You have to grieve thinking they were a better, more mature person and demote them in your life. In my experience, if you bring up aspects of their behavior they’ll just blow up at you. I feel like people never realize they’re being a pathetic brat until they figure it out on their own.

[@tommyparkerparker]

I don’t understand that when some friends and even family get competitive with you, they act weird like for something trivial and makes no relevant sense at all.

[@AbsoluteMdot]

100% Cut them off!!

[@l.w.paradis2108]

Best advice I have yet heard.

[@hersheykisseys]

Oh I've grieved for the friendship

[@CaseyLee-bd5fi]

absolutely 💯

[@Sezfluffy]

the hardest thing for me in recovering from depression was dealing with people who didn't like the energetic and successful new me. I learnt you can't tell people anything

[@purrsandfurrs]

This was my experience too. The moment I started actually feeling good and doing good (not super great, just good enough to be content) a few people around me that I previously considered closest to me flipped the switch on me, and did all they could to put me back down into depression and misery. Never felt so much pain in my life because of it, the biggest heartbreak ever is when you realize people you wish the best for don’t wish the best for you, and will even try to dim your happiness to feel better about themselves. Just sad.

[@modileshikoane8174]

Yep...just a little bit of light and small progress...they start switching,they love u better when u complain and are unhappy about some things

[@roses993]

I just ended a friendship with a jealous "friend". She would make so many passive aggressive comments, try to compete with me, downplay my success or nice things that happen to me. So i told her that i noticed she was being competitive. Started drifting away. And now shes out of my life. These people are toxic. Im glad shes no longer my friend.

[@idkjustme1613]

I have a friend like this i really need to get away. What did you do to cut them off? I do t really know how to subtlety cut them off without them making drama.

[@roses993]

@@idkjustme1613 just text them less and less. Share less and ask about her life less. Stop going out. But when you share some good news be overly enthusiastic, envioue people hate seeing you happy. And at same time isolate. And eventually yall will drift away. Trust me. Friends like that are not real friends. They will always want to one up you even if you have more than them We haven't talked for months. And just last week I changed my whatsapp pic, and so did she few hrs later. This pattern has been going on since last year. So not coincidence

[@Sarah-bn1hg]

I feel it. I’m glad when toxic people hand me the scissors

[@teresadvorak6145]

She made such a big seen in the public, I told her, don't ever speak to me again!!! Ended it there. But then she lied to the people around me to destroy me. I went to her people, & they told me to get a restraining order on her. 😂😅😮❤

[@sunshinekisses8498]

People are eels. True friendship is always elusive. People do not cooperate, They usually never even communicate. Here is how to conclusively determine a person is basically a fraud: First, ask yourself, how often are they pulling you aside to discuss health, action, or big plans with you? Never Second, talk those same 3 subjects, with any person in your life (as much as you want) and just see how they respond. Here's a hint, they ain't following up on anything, they ain't going back and forth about anything. They aren't getting up to act. Not inquiring in any real way. They definitely aren't working with you. And they are not listening. They will be jokers if anything. The biggest frauds and toxic snakes of them all = people always clowning around, derailing everything, and leading with their venom disguised as humor. And that's the #1 greatest tell of being in a crab bucket relationship. Essentially a dead end with a false ally. A person who packs tons of garbage energy to go with it. Friends and family alike, just move on. Being stuck on people who are squandering will do incredible damage to your own success and health. These people can easily waste 10 years. Get rid of all them, life soars in a year and a half flat. The e=mc2 of getting out of a crab bucket.

[@ashleygoodrich3294]

This was starting to creep me out. I gotta rid of everybody. I have one friend. I can’t take the jealousy, envy, passive aggressiveness, not being happy for me. Everyone has to GO!

[@anitamurillo2854]

They’d exactly how I feel it’s awful

[@chisuwochabu250]

Everytime things are going well in my relationship and i share it with this person thats very closely related to me, their energy instantly drops, but when i share about someting thats not going right, you can literally see them getting pumped up and having so much to say about the issue. And this has been with all my relationships so far. So ive decided to become private about any progress in my life.

[@simply.ariannaa]

I agree with this! I thought I was trippin at first but it was so common

[@margaretpeelen3968]

Yes that’s really horrible they thrive on you falling down . I would be supportive towards you and especially praise all the good things going on in your life . Be there when things go bad and listen to you , try to help you ❤

[@alwaysluv4ever774]

Great realization

[@Jean428]

That's common across the board, even if you may be genuine when describing these things it can come across as bragging or something like that to the other person. It depends a lot on how you communicate it of course. On the other hand putting yourself down will always be funnier and more interesting to other people. It's actually a good way to defuse tense situations. There's loads of reasons for it, such as it being more sympathetic for someone who had bad luck (as we all do), compared to someone getting a promotion in a specific job, where others may not have a way to relate to this. If someone starts deriving some kind of joy from your bad luck then it starts getting into narcissist/sociopath territory, it's usually easy to intuitively get a 'feeling' of these people, but hard to realise it consciously

[@deemarie2024]

Agh yes I can SO relate to this! I have one "friend" who has always been there immediately when I'm going through something and offers me almost 'motherly' advice as if I'm younger and naive (we are the same age) but then when I have good news, such as getting a new job, she bombards me with questions like i'm in an interview and it feels like I'm being interrogated or "one-upped" on. This makes me question how she views me and if she is jealous. Why do women have to be like this? I'm not perfect and have my own insecurities but I can proudly say I never act out of envy with people, especially my friends. It really gets me down but nice to know I'm not alone and it's common!

[@ASofterSide]

Relationships are exhausting, friends, family, spouses etc. they all take so much work. I really appreciate my alone time the older I get. ☺️

[@authorGinaGeorge]

Same. I just want it to be me and my dog. I don't want people to even perceive me just act like I am not here. I use to love text messages and phone calls. Now I am ecstatic when I check my phone and there is nothing.

[@Leela11116]

omg....me toooooooo i am soooooo happy w my relationship w myself!! no arguing, no pettiness, no narcissists to deal with.............no cheapness either...i treat myself well lol it makes it hard to want to be in any relationship again lol first time in my life like this and i am feeling the peace and happiness from it .........definitely create boundaries with allll your relationships that helps too

[@My2up2downCastle]

I hear you...... cats and chickens here 🌹

[@jjohnson7297]

Soo True!..😢😊

[@jjohnson7297]

​@Leela11116 Yess!.. I'm very satisfied with my alone time and Confidence!. I Enjoy my Own peaceful COMPANY!🎉🎉❤

[@courtneygillespie1187]

My empathy and sensitivity is all gone...... I'm going to do whatever I want.....I can fly higher without them...... holding me back.

[@darialo8740]

That’s exactly what happens! I did that with my sister, I dimmed my light so she wasn’t angry at me. What a waste of my time, empathy, and years.

[@jamesbishop9156]

Jealousy stems from believing that you can't have what they have.

[@LXSeaV]

Or that you SHOULD have what they have. I’ve been a fat person my whole life and I find who my true friends are when I do well. The people who only like me because they think not being fat automatically makes them better and deserving of everything relative to me haaate when I do well. “How can she have a better job, more awards, grand gestures from her boyfriend if I don’t? That’s not how it’s supposed to work!” That’s how insecure narcissists are.

[@jamesbishop9156]

@@LXSeaV Tru dat 😎👍

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Yes as if there is not room for both to do the same thing.

[@jamesbishop9156]

@peaceofmindofpeace1650 Exactly, Constance. Nothin wrong with being a copycat...that's one way we learn...

[@beaniebaby1208]

But sometimes they cant. Im an ex model my friend hated me because she would never be able to look like a model. I felt guilty for being made by God and born like that. They can make money get a nice home car man etc but if their short and curvy and not asethically tall and thin with great hair etc and blessed like others. Its life and the prettier friend suffers A LOT.

[@nlvm1540]

We need true friends

[@MS-ns4ki]

Had to block the jelly beans from viewing my story. Don’t trust them.

[@tonyg5132]

Just go solo like me.

[@NoOne-wt3sv]

Culture needs a reboot in how to be a proper friend. Too much insecurity where there should be vulnerability.

[@danielleemch8991]

Yes i totally agree ❤

[@Survivin2Thrivin]

​@lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 My grandma warned me that I'd recognize the truth to her saying: "as I grew older I'd see the truth to her statement 'if I'd had ONE true friend my entire life, I was fortunate'." She was right, I can see it now in hindsight. Unfortunately, that includes the christians, but those I met through church affiliation were some of the best contenders for that #1 spot.

[@jjwashere-qo7ow]

It never ends from my experience with a "friend" of 55 years; she's made absolutely everything a competition including our grandchildren (hers are superior of course); jealousy and envy are always there and I'm relieved to live far away with minimal contact now. Never trust someone who secretly hates you (call a thing a thing) by keeping your distance or completely removing them from your life!

[@My2up2downCastle]

I'm experiencing this right now........ the competition (on their admittance) was always there for them in the past but now they've dragged in another friend, whom i found on the internet, and guess who is the doormat in this bit.c.hfest triangle? Nothing has changed in 55 years! I'm trying to get out of a 'girls trip' as we speak......

[@jacquelineglitter4328]

I had one of those.

[@shivamkathuria]

55 years ? 😮😮

[@thelaziestbee]

Jealousy and competition is the highest form of flattery 😅

[@roses993]

Omg you are right. Today I went to the dentist and a girl there was mean to me. I've noticed some women get catty with me. I was getting upset. But then I realized maybe this is a good thing in a sense. It feels like flattery😅😊

[@thelaziestbee]

@@roses993 it could well be, haha

[@roses993]

@@thelaziestbee yes😊

[@Marcycat7]

Or harm

[@doll.ov.poetrii4682]

​@@Marcycat7exactly. I don't find it to be flattering at all; it's quite creepy.

[@txspacemom765]

Once you set boundaries, it becomes easier to deal with. I had not seen a friend in over 20 years, but we had kept in touch. She came to visit and the petty, emotionally immature behavior was VERY evident. All she did was talk about herself the WHOLE time and everything I said was met with dismissiveness and minimalizing my experiences. After 2 hours, I was done. I excused myself and left, never looked back. It was exhausting and I will never get that time back.

[@peterlarson4452]

Ding! There is a difference between challenging each other and struggling with each other. They will create drama to slow you down. Smile and say not this time, sorry friend!

[@BigL88]

Wow, story of my life. My relatives and friends have been jealous of me for a while. I made myself to make them feel good. I could never share, and they could never be happy for me.

[@positiveMindset665]

Celebrating one year of no-contact with such a "friend" today. Couldn’t be prouder of myself ! Thanks Steph for your help 😊

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Love this!

[@bleri8]

Jealous people can really destroy your life when you are not aware or you don’t know how to handle the situation these kind of people are sick and never give up .Many times they are manipulated by someone else that hates you a narcissist so the best thing you can do is walk away as soon as possible

[@kaykaymcgee]

I experienced a falling out with a childhood friend. She was jealous and envious (of course she denied). I am mourning this friendship and I am learning how to navigate my anger from the betrayal.

[@l.w.paradis2108]

Oh please give that up. You're mourning the death of your image of her. If she were a real friend, she would want to live up to your belief in her. Instead of being happy to allow you to motivate her to excel, she chose this.

[@Yikkoofficial]

On the verge of letting mine go and it’s stressing me out. Hopefully, you feel better 💐

[@AmbyJeans]

@@YikkoofficialI let mine go, it hurt so bad at first, but then it was so freeing

[@fionaajith8800]

I just found out that my best friend is extremely insecure of herself around me and jealous around me but the thing is I love her so much, I can never ever hate her and I was soo hurt when I found out, it breaks my heart especially because she has social anxiety and is a very depressing stage and she was finally coming out of her shell and I was soo proud of her. I was upset that she never vented to me and only to my other friends even though we were really close but I realized she was venting about me.

[@Luke-ph9xf]

Just walked away from this finally. The rage, the, jealousy the two faced bs. And then also the enablers in the friend group. I left them all and i felt a massive weight come off. Good things in my life now.

[@AbnormalMom6000]

Amen!!!! I'm walking away and I hope good things and good people surround me too❤

[@seanfrance3182]

For sure! The best feeling is still knowing that you want good things for them. Even if they tried to sabotage you. Ppl change and life is hard so sometimes ppl harden their heart to cope. I don’t think my former friends are bad ppl, I just think they are struggling, but that’s not my fault or responsibility so I walked away and distanced myself. But it’s still all love. ❤️

[@michelleking6963]

This hits home and unfortunately my experience is with my sisters who are more like enemies than family 😢

[@michelleking6963]

@@LookUpYourRedemptionDrawsNigh question? Have you been told most of your life that when other women don’t like you that they are just jealous?

[@clincpb8903]

I should show this video to many of my female colleagues but they are so narcissistic they won't question their insecurities,

[@MS-ns4ki]

Alison you heard.

[@haz4ever639]

My family and friends make me believe that im the jealous one with time i found out they were jealous one and they was projecting their jealousy on me to be honest they had me for a while but finally i figured them out

[@haz4ever639]

@@LookUpYourRedemptionDrawsNigh If you fall for it then they achieved their goal by confusing you and made you call off your attack it's an evil plan only a human who possessed by demon can pull it off

[@PariahKamikaze]

Hyper competitive people are the easiest people to manipulate and deal with. They're superficial and aggressively pesty in the pursuit of what they want and more importantly, they make it blatantly obvious they are trying to compete with you and take what you have. The best way to deal with them is to not deal with them; just entice them with what they perceive to be a reward or challenge and erase them when they advance towards you or anything that is yours...don't go back and forth with them. Don't argue with them. Don't "compete" with them. It just turns them on and excites them even more. Use their aggressive and competitive energy against them, trick them and bait them into a trap with their own vices and watch them hang themselves with their own stupidity, overzealousness and selfishness. The "Art of Fighting Without Fighting" as Bruce Lee once put it is the best way to deal with competitive people.

[@actuallynotkarson]

Thank you!

[@kirsikkamansikka8695]

Wow. Thank you! Such a good advice.

[@claudiateixeira3406]

Thats right!! Tks

[@stonedasfudge5947]

Thank you for this. I noticed this when i stop talking and let the competitor talk themselves into stupidity. I never caught on to it until you explained. Thank you. Will further hone this skill

[@modileshikoane8174]

​@@stonedasfudge5947works like a charm,just say less and let them ramble on, their jealousy and competitive nature is fuelled by the imprtant things we tell them about our lives ...they're sneaky though bcz they will hold on to info ,waiting for u to reveal some things and then have one up on you,😂😅

[@jamesbishop9156]

Being competitive in a healthy way is defined within the context. In the context of sports/games, it's fun whether you win or lose. Unhealthy Competitiveness is when it's taken personally in the games of life.

[@LisaBuckley-lf7sl]

When an individual that meets you but they are not in your life, and continues to be jelouse , gossip, spread lies and rumors even goes as far as interferes in your job, is beyond insecure. They have a mental illness that can become dangerous. You must be aware of how jelouse a person becomes.

[@MS-ns4ki]

I will sue them

[@cassandrawest1784]

I had friends whose words dont match their actions. They pretend to be supportive when they really arent and exclude me from their friendship group where i used to be invited all the time.

[@lemonzestandbasilfouts2723]

Healthy competition is good in the sports arena and even in business, which includes winning and losing with grace. I just can't put up with toxic-competitive women anymore. It does come across as very immature and insecure, but I also think there is some entitlement at it's root. Somehow they feel entitled to be the best, look the best, have the best kids, without any of the work to get there. It's easier to use words to one-up others than actually do the leg work.

[@Socratesbellesamis]

This is a good share. The entitlement can act as fuel for the jealousy. Especially if that friend/family member started out ahead of you.

[@LauraHamm-y3l]

Having had an in law family member with extreme jealousy towards me has really forced me to work on myself. I cannot eliminate this person from my life, but by God placing this person in my life I have really had to work on my ability to stay stable in the face of adversity. I'm thankful God has forced me to meet this adversity because I've had to work a lot on my own ego. These types of people are truly an opportunity to better yourself - use it!

[@drock8151]

These type of people are energy drainer's. I have to keep watching this video over and over to help bring me back to a calm place. Thank you so much for this 🙏🏾

[@jjohnson7297]

Exactly!.. I'm the same! I keep watching also.. it makes you feel better..😢😊❤

[@bbjoyce-je1vx]

My sister is this way for most of our adult life. She and my mother would team up to insult me. This was to make me feel bad so they could feel better. They both still unite to help my sister compete against me. It has always been a one up type thing with them. I avoid the entire twisted family. Thank You for this video. It is stressful dealing with these competitive folks.

[@bbjoyce-je1vx]

Thank You so much for understanding the nightmare of having ppl like this in your life.❤ I read that they feel so bad about themselves, & they want the good qualities they see in the ppl they target for themselves. They go about it in treacherous ways by trying to squash your self esteem. Keeping myself away from their clutches brings peace ❤

[@anu7982]

Scapegoat and golden child dynamics

[@jeanniepetrov9934]

It is sad . You did it right , just to stay away

[@Nepthu]

I recently lost 48lbs, and the last few months, my "best friend" won't go to the gym with me or practice martial arts anymore. He makes excuses for activities we had done together for years.😢

[@tiajin248]

For everyone who is sure her intimate relationships as an adult is with a narcissists, that is a sign that you are red-flag blind about narcisism, so after you are less red-flag blind evaluate every relationship you have, it is very possible that at least one of your friends or even BFF is a narcissists.

[@Arsena]

ITS TRUE! I realized MOST around me were once i realized my ex-husband was.

[@enikovarkonyi927]

Downplaying myself and my life is something that I had to do with LITERALLY ALL the female friends in my life so far and I'm done. Now I want to enjoy my success to the fullest, and I hope that some day I'll find girlfriends who are secure enough to be happy for me😊

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

You will, they exist.

[@ntombenkosimamani4805]

It's even more difficult when one person in the group is envious. I can't cut her off without losing good people in the process.

[@karmasutra4774]

Just had a friend group collapse for a few reasons ..but agree it is hard to let go and then try to stay friends with one or two. This is why it is better to have individual friends - friend groups cause you to potentially lose them all versus one here and there

[@ViralPlaq]

I don’t even explain to people how they hurt me anymore, I just walk away cuz trying to make people realize what they already know they did is energy and mentally draining cuz they just gonna deny and play atupid

[@ameliaannhouck2670]

THEY ALWAYS WANT TO BE ME BY IMITATION , BUT IMITATION IS THE TRUE ART OF THE JEALOUS!

[@sushiilulou]

its just so sad 😢 realizing I have no real friends 😢 they literally want me down

[@heathermaclean6826]

Get up and do it your way!! You can do this ❤

[@MS-ns4ki]

Happy anniversary and go explore

[@miramixxs]

Thats what im feeling now 🙂 but i think this is life shortly ... just keep ur mind in peace rather than arguing with people who doesnt even understand at the end of the day 🙄

[@souravdas5837]

True ...that's absolutely true... Everyone seems jealous... seriously no idea who is real even....

[@Jantis_Atlantis]

This video was beyond helpful and so relatable. I’ve recently been experiencing a similar situation for the first time at 31 years old and it’s been hard for me to navigate. I’ve learned not to take it 100% personal because someone who is going through depression and is already a very insecure person is most likely struggling mentally. I’ve decided to just keep my distance to preserve my own sanity. Unfortunately, being around a person like that is just going to bring you down and make you feel less than. It’s unfair to have to constantly stifle and shrink yourself to preserve this person’s feelings.

[@bluegirl4079]

If you have a group of friends who truly love and support you and cheer for you and cry for you when you are down YOU ARE BLESSED! I had a group like that in high school, but after graduation when we went our various ways, things changed. The reveal happened when I was getting married. I had a small church wedding with just 3 attendants--my sister, my best friend from college, and a little flower girl. Two of the friends I invited and asked to be servers at my wedding reception to serve cake and punch, finger sandwiches, etc., DID NOT SHOW. Being asked to participate at all was an honor because they would have been able to be a part of the festivities and have a good time. They would have had corsages and would have been in the wedding pictures. I found out later they were so offended that I did not have them as attendants. They never spoke a word to me about it. I think it went even deeper than that. I was the second in our group to get engaged and then married. I think that was more of the issue...jealousy. I paid for my wedding myself and was just out of college, and my husband still had a year to do for his degree. So we were cash poor. I truly could not afford to pay for four or five more bride's maid dresses. Their not showing up hurt me deeply. I still care for them as friends, but our relationship did change. I understand it is hard not to be jealous when someone gets something you want, but a true friend would step up for you. This experience was a turning point for me. I became much more selective of friends. We all know that friendships are often situation based when you go to school together and sometimes have the same interests. It can also be job related when you work closely with someone.

[@ylana4444]

This is a hot topic! I clicked on it right away. I have dealt with this my whole entire life and it really negatively affected my mental health. I even did EMDR on this topic. It’s widespread!

[@ylana4444]

@vanessaebertz Thanks for asking…yes I did find it helpful! I find EMDR to be very beneficial and am in therapy now doing EMDR for whatever is applicable. But this one was a biggie for me esp in my career. Another biggie was “I am not enough”. Whew! 😊

[@danielleemch8991]

This is just crazy to me we should encourage each other and support one another because I think everyone has their own Journey and life shouldn't be a competition yet I have experiences in my life and I just tried to be understanding ❤

[@aegarmusic1944]

Back when I was schooling, I wasn't the smartest kid in the class, but I always tried my best to fit among the bright students. But when I chose subjects which I like but were quite difficult to handle, instead of helping me some of my friends let me down by saying "You are not meant to do this" ,"Choose something else" etc etc. That didn't stop there, when I met them at a party after some time has passed, they criticized me by asking what I do at University and went on to make low key jokes about how irritating it is for them that Im studying in a competitive field and the university Im studying as they are involved in the same field of study (Computer Science). They are smart and bright people but they hate to see me climbing on the ladder slowly and slowly making progress.

[@aroasjourney]

Never stop shining and being you, even if you have jealous and envious people around you. It's not your fault they don't do the same with themselves.

[@theeditor1149]

I've had a friend for many years who has always been competitive. In the beginning when I told her something about how much I loved my hobby, she (in a mean tone) told me how she had been doing that same hobby when she was really little and living overseas and I sensed it upset her that I was becoming more known for that hobby and I stepped back from putting it out on my social media because I didnt want to upset her. I have done that all the time in the years I've known her to my detriment (can't blame her for holding myself back though, I am an adult with my own mind). But I've seen her become successful in the things I always wanted in my life and cheered her on. But somehow she still gets jealous of anything I might have or do. I wish I could get out of the friendship but we've been there for each other at our lowest so that keeps me going but I still walk around on tiptoe around her. I advise that people run from people like this and to trust your gut about them.

[@unforgettablelianaspears]

friends are about making you feel good, being there for you but also they need to cheer you and support you on anything that u ever wants to do, if she’s a real one she’s going to cheer you with your hobbies

[@patrycjabak3705]

I experienced the same, she always did somenthing I like when I told her about what makes me happy

[@galbulbul]

You exactly described my relationship with my ex friend. I did it all: belittling myself, avoding shareing informations about me to not make her insecure, i swallowed small ironic comments about me, i celebrated her successes much more that she celebrated mine. All the time excuse her behavior. But at one point i just snaped and couldn't make it any more. Im still dealing with guilt.

[@cac1463]

Don't feel bad, you couldn't take it anymore. That's not a true friend. You deserve a true friend, not a frenemy.

[@meilei8716]

Wow, this feeling I’ve been picking up on for some time now from two people in my old band makes sense when I view it from this standpoint. Time to regroup! No sense in playing music with this lingering ❤

[@dbedazzling1]

My manager, she can't handle my shine. Now it's a new friend who I already see thru and put distance with.

[@bink865]

I have had this for six years since I moved to this town. Did not have it at this level during decades in a big city and five years in a small city. But it has finally inspired me to get a better-paid job so I can return to the city.

[@minicarbaum]

Definitely not trying to make myself small but it’s a struggle just trying to hang on to my sense of self worth. I’m exhausted. Thank you for shedding clarity on this topic. So helpful ❤

[@renegade-master29]

If they are jealous and competitive you need ask yourself are they even your friends because those types of people will relish your downfalls

[@ayodari_style]

I had a close friend like this. The friendship fell apart and after showing me that old negative behaviors would not change for the better I just decided I was done. After they saw I really moved on they wanted to come back around-but it didn’t matter because it was just too late for an apology to change my mind.

[@Leesmac]

I’m here because looking back with hindsight I completely ignored all the signs in a friendship until recently when this so called friend hit me up to help purchase something she was selling. I didn’t buy it straight away as it was expensive and had a few questions about it only for her to react like I’m an absolute a-hole. (Mind you I have bought from her in the past to help her side hustle and it was a lot! This time with inflation I have to be mindful of what I spend money on) I was sooo taken aback and hurt, looking back I see every single point in this video. I’m sad. I always give people the benefit of the doubt but now I have to love her from afar. But I have so much scenarios about competition and jealousy I don’t even have the energy to write it all.

[@Crystalblue58]

I had a jealous friend-she ended up wanting everything in my life that I had. CraCra

[@aishdesai]

Ignore Best solution

[@Adbee123]

Stephani, thank for covering a wide range of mental and behavioral issues including a topic that is as tricky as this one. It's easy to say “oh I'm making a big deal” or to feel guilty about justifying these types of emotions. But I'm glad I had enough sense to look into it. Now I learned it's okay to create a bubble, it's okay to not take it on as my own. It's okay to not feel responsible for others' inferiority. The best way to protect ourselves is to take responsibility for ourselves. As you said, we can't change others :) -❤

[@MattHall05]

It's really sad how some people can go so low in life by being jealous of others. Something to keep in mind is that you can't always get what you want in life, and that is just something that everyone is going to have to accept. Life is hard enough for everyone, don't go out there and destroy someone's else happiness. It just makes you look like a massive dickhead, and everyone will hate you for it. Life is too short, and you need to move on with your life and not hurt others for your own ego.

[@michelleedmonds4430]

My “person” whom you’ve described her to a T. Why does she always go after my closest friends or whoever I have spent time with or even at a gathering whoever I was talking to. THIS has driven me crazy for the past several years. I have finally broken free from her and she’s back and I politely just turned it off… but whoa she pushes hard!!!

[@darialo8740]

Glad I found your channel this week. This one really resonates. It’s so true that when we are surrounded by these people it will affect us. I didn’t think it did, growing up with jealous sister. But I only later in life realized how much I dimmed my life so she feels comfortable and is nicer to me. Didn’t always work. Wish I knew the source of a problem when I was in my 20ies!

[@steffidas4785]

if you are jealous or competitive you are not a friend you are the same as enemy you dont get to bake the cake and eat it too,so you dont get to be jealous ,harmful,lying and competitive and have the audacity to call yourself a friend too,people are not 5 year old kids

[@tdesq.2463]

Correct

[@Mantradhwani]

Oh yes! These people are worse than enemies

[@messue428]

I had a coworker who I became very good friends with. I ended up getting a better job and when I told her the news, she seemed so excited! She even said let’s celebrate! So later that day I send her a text saying let’s celebrate… are you available on x day? And she made some really evasive comment like “let’s play it by ear” and never brought it up again. She then ghosted me for about three weeks. It really hurt, because I thought she was really happy for me.

[@andrewrees8749]

Ive suffered with this ,my entire adult life too , people always think ive got lots of money , then get jealous and usually then insult me , ive got used to it now ,im 56 and think,oh here we go again !

[@anitamurillo2854]

U and me both it’s so annoying like how insecure are ppl especially adults!!!

[@danielmaya-actor9405]

The woman in the video articulated this very well !

[@robertgriffin7569]

Ahh yess... Thank you again.. and, keep smiling too. ✌️❤️😊

[@shownaton1992]

I feel this : ( It feels like we're conceited thinking this even, but I have to say I see these signs. I made myself a career doing what I love (creative) and am fit, long blonde hair, very motivated, and have a great marriage so I think it's hard for women who don't have all of that to see me as a funny, kind human. I had WAY more friends when I was slightly 'chubby' and just working day jobs in my early 20's. When you aim and achieve people will start to act weird towards you. Very edgy, and always looking for tiny things to blow up. Using the word "walk" when you meant "run". Really sad things that make no sense. I've been unfollowed by many old friends, it sucks because you assume you've done something wrong but given their attitude towards me over the past 15 years, you can just tell, people are too insecure to bond with.

[@cherokeecindyreed1205]

You’re so pretty. I like how little makeup you have and you just glow.

[@robertiniguez1701]

In love, competition does not exist

[@Liyoncejones]

I have a “friend” who talks about my stomach and how she does not have a stomach. After I told her about it yesterday…she said it three more times. She does it because she can. I clearly know she wouldn't do it to everyone. So the change is on me.

[@jennifervinyard6240]

I have a similar problem with one of my longest friendships. I can no longer stand to be around her. She's either an evil genius or a complete idiot. Either way, she never shuts up about flaws she sees in me, and how irresistibly hot she sees herself. I don't need to be complimented constantly, but I'm done with endless insults.

[@ddajani45]

I have a very jelouse friend she is so competitive with me to the point got surgeries changed her whole look

[@MS-ns4ki]

I have a few ppl like this

[@trex7359]

I don't associate with jealous, envious or petty people. If they don't bring value to my life these peaple won't be apart of my life .life is just to short !

[@sandracrump]

I just found your channel your so spot on and intelligent but compassionate and open minded when speaking about un easy topics like this! Your a true gem!

[@SFA985]

They are not friends, maybe better to say, "people in your life." Not meant to be snarky, just hate for these types to ever be considered "friends." Great content, thanks!

[@karmasutra4774]

Agree.. I catch myself wanting to use a different phrase ❤

[@thehopefulbudgeter]

That one friend that cheers for everyone but me. Like wow, get tf outta here. Girl bye. I’m so irrriated.

[@LeeTheaker]

It never stops I've had people jealous of me being attractive guy since I turned 18 around 14 years ago it never stops people jealous of me every day in public

[@ameliaannhouck2670]

I AM A HEYOKA EMPATH SO IT WAS A BARREL OF LAUGHS IRONICALLY!! AND THEY STILL DO IT AND I AMM 73! IT NEVER STOPS!

[@Apple.of.Gods.eye.]

As a psychotherapist I can tell you that not all neglected and abused children become competitive assholes. Many of them have zero self-esteem, and don’t even try to compete, especially if they were in a narcissistic sociopath family where no matter what they did they were wrong. Scapegoating tends to produce people who are not competitive and don’t want to compete at all.

[@stonedasfudge5947]

UPDATE: I distanced myself from a long time friend i love them so much, but the competitive nature and constant jealous vibes made me finally take initiative Mind you i love this friend with everything so i still keep the vibe at a level, but i feel much better knowing i dont have to comepete with anyone anymore especially someone i love. My advice is to do the same. See how you feel. If they ask where you've been keep your blessings private. Don't let them know anything personal. Good luck

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@rustynails68]

There is no way that I would have been able to understand this 35 years ago when it really could have improved my life. It certainly makes sense now.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

That’s probably very true. You’ve awakened goalie of concepts that now this all makes sense.

[@LaureneTheArtist]

If you have toxic friends, there’s underlying undealt trauma you have inside of you. Don’t wait- run to your local therapist and finally unpack your trauma so as to be able to identify what unhealthy looks like in platonic as well as romantic interactions with others.

[@beautifulKMB]

You just describe my fiancé mother she is a conversation narcissistic. Our phone conversations always revolve around her. It’s extremely exhausting. I always feel uneasy around her. She never compliments me, I’m always complimenting her to make her feel better.

[@92martymar]

Needed this video 💕👏🏾

[@MS-ns4ki]

All the women I work w have thrown shade at me between saying in front of men things I wouldn’t appreciate them saying such as having lips injected , and also being snarky . I’m done being disrespected . They all gang up and say oh I just don’t want to get involved . Eat me ladies .

[@MS-ns4ki]

I have them read very well between my looks , Jewerly , or anything they deem to envy . I know it comes from insecurity but the gang has become a crew of mean girls .

[@thelaziestbee]

Ha, I thought its cool to have lips boosted!

[@MS-ns4ki]

@@thelaziestbee for everyone else just not me trin

[@romanticdreamsasmr9005]

Omg you're spot on with the jealous person I know.

[@lailaplaysdbd4004]

Unfortunately, I can kinda relate. My friend, who is a different race than me has longer hair, green eyes, and a bigger chest. It seems like every guy we come across goes after her. I'm happy for her, but at the same time, it does suck. I wish I could get attention like her. I'm turning 21 soon and I have no idea if I'll get attention in clubs. I feel like they will only go after her. However, I have never thought of trying to bring her down or make rude comments. That's just wrong.

[@Sarah-bn1hg]

They’re bullies and know what they’re doing. Leave them where they are

[@BigL88]

I’m on the line and listening!!!!!!

[@peterlarson4452]

Great message 💯💯💯

[@seanfrance3182]

I’ve had ppl recently that I’ve been friends with almost all my life that I’ve realized are envious of me, but I still love them and want best for them. Part of it (honestly) is a feeling of superiority. Like I’ve never been jealous of them, but most of it is not trying to poison myself with feelings of animosity towards their jealousy. I don’t pity them but I want them to be happy for me like I am for them.

[@nadiacavallini4728]

Perfect message for perfect time.

[@katy525]

Thank you Stephanie you truly inspire me with desire to make sure to surround yourself around positive people that is a guarantee you cannot go wrong!! LOVE GREG

[@KiwiKirsty1983]

Jealous and competitive people aren't friends.

[@pinky-ud1rt]

I have a naughbour whos so jealouse of me becouse i bought my home and iv done a lot to it shes trys to copy what i do in my garden i dont speak to her shes nasty iv been there with jelouse people l..but karma is always around the corner

[@jamesbishop9156]

Great topic! 😁

[@denisem5437]

Thank you for this video.

[@maddyG7414]

So glad you mentioned the reactionary competition. I know I can get competitive, but I’ve very rarely had it occur in a friendship before I met ‘that friend’. I started off feeling very confused as to why she seemed so resentful towards me, and after awhile I started to get resentful back. I behaved in very childish ways during the course of our friendship until I eventually told myself to stop engaging with her past a cordial level. We even had discussions about it, but she never stopped. There was always something that set her off into that defensive, competitive space. Left me totally baffled.

[@chowbenson]

Q

[@AbnormalMom6000]

Me too, and I am glad that your comment gave me the sign I needed. I don't have to block this person from calling me, I can still be cordial. I'm definitely going to stay distant tho. I also have had very long deep conversations with them too when I pumped the brakes before. Gotta stick with it this time. I've been his Fook too long

[@maddyG7414]

@@AbnormalMom6000 FyI, I ended the friendship recently, because she would still contact me, and my attempts to remain cordial still always ended in a debate, where she had to be right and assert her opinion over top of mine. Do with that what you please, but sometimes some people just can’t be in our lives :(

[@Classybrown27]

Yes needed this! Thank you!