5 WAYS Women Make Themselves LOOK Desperate (MAJOR Turn Offs)

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

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[@ladyent3674]

I think both parties should plan or at least give an input of preference when it comes to date night. If one person does all the planning then things can become one sided and unfair. The payer may end up paying for things they don't enjoy; they may resent time spent. The planner may never discover the interest of the payer. How do you find middle ground in a situation like that?

[@pazlacostaverde2453]

I am desperate, but I don't give out my number.. 😂😂😂😂

[@Portia620]

Looking and realistically desperate is two things .

[@vaksehund2]

You're such a positive, smiling & caring man Stephan. Thank you for your godly councelling. God's richest blessings.

[@joyricherson4570]

"You wont be clingy to the man that wants to cling to you."

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Most definitely!

[@r828realty]

exactly

[@Pinkcandy777]

I like Cling ons😅😅😅

[@angie-jo1mn]

💯🎯👌

[@marygranke204]

I don't like clingy people and especially my partner.

[@ATenderTouch]

Rejection is God’s redirection to someone better in your life ❤

[@pamelabrown2028]

Yes !!!

[@piyu2003]

Or to become better yourself first, so that you may find someone better.

[@pamelabrown2028]

@@piyu2003 only my opinion...but i think we should work on ourselves to be the best we can , not to find someone, but because thats what God designed us for. If HE wants us to be with someone He will bring them in His perfect timing !!

[@ATenderTouch]

@@piyu2003 I’m quoting @meetstephanspeaks

[@Dollface2186]

I felt that!

[@patriciapatricia3586]

I don't think women's interests change all the time. I think a woman loses interest in a man when he starts to give mixed messages or draws back with no reason 🤷

[@leannegraceliberty]

Correct 💯💯

[@mariesmall688]

This!

[@CJizzy819]

💯

[@celestinebennett212]

You are 100% right

[@mzion4686]

Amen, and Amen!! Let them know ❤

[@Taruna1]

Dealt with a man before, I expressed interest without being overboard. He still went out of his way to try to get me jealous and to try to chase him. I walked away . No time for immature men

[@Victoriaistalented]

Yes glad you walked away!!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏

[@BlackCatholicGirl]

that's because you expressed interrest duhhhh, you are actually the immature one.

[@Taruna1]

@@BlackCatholicGirl Did you actually listen to the video ???!! Expressing interest is not a bad thing. your comment is immature

[@BlackCatholicGirl]

@@Taruna1 it is , men still view it as thirsty

[@joyh.729]

‘If you have to keep pushing for a relationship then you need to start walking.’ 🎯🎯🎯

[@AliceInWonderlandWasHigh2020]

If a man is genuinely showing interest in you and you like him too, don’t play silly games like “playing hard to get or making him jealous “. It’s as simple as that!

[@IslandGurl85]

Agree both mature just be vulnerable and honest tell each other how you really feel. Don’t play games one thing ppl get so scared of having their heart broken they walk away from something that could be worth it in the long run. But we give up so easily tomorrow is it guaranteed so be brave and tell them how you feel

[@Hexterify15]

What about a man who likes and cares about you according to him but because she's older he refuse to commit just want to have sex. He's always acting like you are both in a serious relationship, making you feel like you are his babe when he has already mentioned from onset it's just sex because of the age difference, tho she believes he is not even ready apart from the age difference and he also likes hiding his emotions never expressive. Please what do you say on this kind of situation?

[@AliceInWonderlandWasHigh2020]

@Hexterify15 first things first you have to know what you want, I’m not an encourager of premarital sex, but in this case I’ll say that if you are willing to accept his conditions of “no commitment “ then continue with him. But if you want a serious relationship then end it so that you don’t waste many years with a man who eventually tells you that he’s done with you. He’s lack of vulnerability with you shows that he’s not interested in letting you into his world. That man is not ready for anything serious as you have already stated, so move on sis. Get you a man who is intentionally pursuing you for a serious relationship if that’s what you want. Don’t look at the potential of what could possibly happen, the “maybe I can show him that he can be with me and ask me to be his woman”. As women we get more emotionally invested in relationships than men. Men can literally have s!x with a woman they are not emotionally invested in. I hope this helps.

[@AliceInWonderlandWasHigh2020]

Another thing…. the fact that he doesn’t mind sleeping with despite him being “bothered “ by the age difference screams liar to me. If he is so bothered by the age difference, he would have gone for someone his age. For as long as you are 2 concerting adults the age difference shouldn’t be an issue.

[@Hexterify15]

@@AliceInWonderlandWasHigh2020 thank you so much for your response, well appreciated.

[@rhondawyatt398]

Love the man who loves you , don't bend over backward for a man who doesn't pay you any attention

[@bunnyboonot4u]

💯!! Don't waste your time! Right?

[@ofkgjsl]

After working in sales I learned one thing about relationships: Always make the best offer. Never try to convince. And don‘t lower your value until it‘s very cheap and heeeeell naw - never ever give anything away for free.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@JoanFrancis-h4f]

Amen Sister! Tell it like it is!

[@KM-oy5yh]

AMEN AMEN AMEN AMEN, Sister 🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉

[@godseed79]

I would love to see good men get back to feeling confident enough to approach a woman he's interested in. Of course, women have to make this process more pleasant.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Indeed, it really helps when women embrace that.

[@eddieneyman4035]

Thanks for this comment. It is really kind and understanding of the good men out there who do have anxieties and could use the help.

[@Medietos]

Agree, with the asddition that both sexes have to do healing and maturation work, love dosn't go, dvelop and keep by itself

[@ImJazzmineLeigh]

Strongly agree.

[@amandblucher6630]

Alot of good men been hurt

[@eliciareynolds9027]

My mom has told me many times "You can't say the right thing to the wrong person, but you also can't say the wrong thing to the right person."

[@Daniy13]

I like that quote! That healed something in me

[@yue1029]

Dating has become so complicated, physically and emotionally exhausting. I kinda want to give up and just accept the fact that I'm going to be forever alone with cats and travel the world.

[@Ashtarot77]

I'm at that point now. Ready to throw in the towel. Travel the world before you get the cats though cause you'll have to put them in a boarding kennel while you're away 😂

[@erinalexander4017]

Same here!

[@serenitygilles7064]

have a cat laying on me right now lol

[@Kennedigracee_]

Same here. I only had one relationship & it seems so difficult when you wanted a life so bad with the person you wanted forever.

[@cheyenneburn8342]

Same

[@JoanFrancis-h4f]

Listen Ladies…a vast majority of these men out here aren’t worth pursuing. They think they’re Gods Gift To a Woman…wanna be players both young and old! It’s not worth it if they’re not interested MOVE ON!!!!

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Kindly don’t say that, there are a lot of good men out there!

[@275MsParis]

You’re so right about that

[@heatherjeffrey8997]

Stephan thanks much nice topic.

[@ravenraven966]

​@@JoanFrancis-h4f, hello sister... I happen to agree with you 💯 percent... Stephan has much great advice... but as for there being a lot of good men out there... I too respectfully disagree. From what I've seen and personally experienced...then again it does go both ways...I know a great guy who is too young for me.. but him and I have been friends for over eight years and this guy has not been able to find a down to earth woman either.. it's a tough world for sure.. thanks for speaking your truth🕊️

[@JoanFrancis-h4f]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks respectfully Steven that’s not what I said. I said the majority of these men aren’t worth pursuing. There are still a few good men out there. I’ve heard horror stories from a lot of good women who have encountered wolves in sheep clothing… playing the game disrespecting good women. This is coming from a confident sister with 6 decades of life experience. I feel lm qualified to speak truth into this issue. The more a woman puts herself out there the more likely she’ll be “plowed and played”.

[@sylvievachon1020]

Yes be yourself. Find the one who matches your energy 😊

[@emithesheep]

My singing coach used to say “Don’t chase, attract” Something I am working on as a young woman, is to put the same energy as he does. It’s hard to do this in practise, but it is worth saving yourself from the heartache.

[@bnb0510]

If a man wants you to be the chaser, he’s a player! Period!

[@christinejones4785]

Just found that one out as I have been only in 2 other serious relationships so this young buck played me - no wonder I was emotionally all over the place now finding my contentment from within. Rather be alone than with the wrong person plus I'm a choice NOT an option finally learnt my lesson

[@tinker2217]

You asked why would a woman constantly do things for a man without receiving anything back... I've done it for years because that's the way I was brought up. I was the oldest child and was forced to be a caretaker for my younger siblings. No praise from my mom, no reward or recognition. I've been conditioned to be this way. So it comes naturally to me now to do for others without receiving anything back. I don't do it out of desperation, but I've had to acknowledge I do waayyy too much and force myself to do less.

[@Savingrace457]

Some men move very slowly, and I do not think that we give ourselves enough time to get to know a person because we jump head-first into a serious relationship. If I had given myself enough time, I wouldn't have married the wrong man after a year of dating. I looked past so many things, red flags because I wanted to get married badly, mainly because I was 42. Now, I am taking my time before I jump into a relationship with someone because I need something more than now. A bond made of concrete and steel, a friendship, sounds healthy to me. And allow things to move organically. At 49 years old, I am too old to keep making the same mistakes of dealing with the actions of desperation.

[@lnaph]

I'm curious how that effected thr way you date. A year seems like a good amount of time. Curioud how you move differently now

[@Savingrace457]

@@lnaph Great question. I am working on myself, and I am allowing myself to move according to my comfort zone. So, I am moving slowly because I need to do what is best for me, and if a man wants to move faster, that will make me feel uncomfortable.

[@Savingrace457]

@@lnaph A year is good enough if you are desperate. There were too many red flags that I ignored. Not all red flags are wrong; it is what a person can handle. A man moving too fast for me is a big red g flag and will cause me to run and run fast

[@lnaph]

@@Savingrace457 agreed lovebombing or pushing a relationship too soon is trouble.

[@lnaph]

@@Savingrace457 I heard men usually know by 6 months if they want to marry a girl or not... so while I wouldn't get married then, I wouldn't personally want to drag it out too long either...

[@heathergrahame9647]

A decent man would say "no thanks" to a woman rather than be silent and leave her hanging, not knowing. It's a bit revolting that rather than the man being honest and clear, the woman is expected to review her own behaviour and question whether she is going too far.

[@JoanFrancis-h4f]

Say that again!!!

[@frankG335]

Just like women, men aren't perfect communicators. They think a woman will get the hint when they don't respond, or stop responding.

[@mariellazavala72]

This is happening to to me at the moment . I wish he’d be just upfront about it & let me know if he’s interested or not . If not , no big deal ! Instead of having me guess & texting me one day and then ghosting me for days . I can’t with that . & I’ve just met him through text from a mutual friend .

[@sosoata6512]

@@mariellazavala72 ghost him

[@pqt112]

Lol men never tell a woman no

[@joyricherson4570]

Just make sure you're ok with rejection. Also be prepared for that argument when he says I DIDN'T EVEN LIKE YOU, YOU CAME TO ME!

[@SundayMorning1234-l2r]

I felt that one😢

[@Itsnurselo2you]

That’s crazy because I definitely experienced and the only reason who I went to him is because he wasn’t man enough to speak up and express interest and I say that because after I was notified he got my number my friend said he was excited than I guess he called him self feeling spicy a few weeks in trying to throw a shot

[@luvingmerevivedandblessed8520]

Except when they're and twist things when they approached u in the first place.👀

[@mabathomosekeli]

Exactly 💯

[@FreeQueen-md7zm]

​@@Itsnurselo2you feelin' spicy, 😂😂😂

[@Cindy_Love_2025]

…”Rejection is God’s redirection to something better in your life “…👏🏼💯💯💯 Stephan, that’s deep! I love it❤️

[@soundtravels4348]

I told him "I'm not interested in being your friend, I'd like to date and get to know each other better. So you just let me know if you ever want to take me on a date" and then I left it alone. We shall see.

[@kimberlyjackson8064]

Update? Did he respond?

[@CarmenPerez-kz6rw]

If I was a man I would think there’s no way I will marry this woman. She won’t even be a friend to me. Basic level.

[@corey6013]

👏👏

[@ambermontgomery1844]

I appreciate your transparency when you expressed that you are not a planner. I think some women try to force men into having certain qualities that aren’t natural to who they are and as a result create drama within the relationship. We woman can frustrate ourselves by expecting y’all to be something you just are not. This might even just be our way of trying to be in control. A topic for another day lol. I do believe that a man who’s attempting every once and awhile to honor their partner through their love language is demonstrating a willingness to want to meet the needs of their partner. Communication and respecting each others differences is what can create a beautiful partnership.

[@KaimaVixen]

I love this comment! I realize a lot of women project how they are in a relationship onto their partners and inadvertently create resentment instead of trying to understand how their person operates. I think also there is so much unrealistic advice out there about how we need to be in relationships.

[@annnee6818]

​@@KaimaVixen I agree to a certain extent but when a guy wants to see you high frequency and then suddenly just won't even give you a ball park figure? He's just not interested. He's got you on the back burner... he's not operating differently. He's being a dick

[@AKgirl_]

Some of us women aren’t desperate or needy, we have EXPECTATIONS that some men can’t handle. I had this experience with this one guy who i last contacted with, at the end, he was a turned off. We texted at times, he CALLED ME, asked for my #, always talked sexually & slid into my DMs. I cut off contact after a week.

[@shakeenasmith1193]

I love the way you put God into everything

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!

[@ChocolateLover4365]

Yes!!! ❤ 🙏

[@Christina_320]

Me too. I like that too. God #1

[@coreviaflynn594]

I am so happy for your page it has helped me to keep My emotions stable as I began dating again after my husband passed away. I had not dated very much before getting married and felt adrift. Still learning but enjoying dating with such pertinent insights.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad I could help 🙏

[@minahtheweirdo]

Sometimes it's not desperate. I have a lot of guys interested in me but I happen to like this one guy in particular. But I get the message I'm gonna leave him alone.

[@JanetTuttle-cb3xx]

This really helps, I was brought up ols school, as I am 66 yrs, my mother always told us to respect people's privacy, not chase men, etc. These days in a technological world, things are so much more difficult.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏

[@oweber2160]

Do’s 1.) give compliments 2.) initiate conversation 3.) give him ur # Don’ts 1.) persistently trying to pursue him 2.) excessive communication 3.) sexual aggression 4.) always planning & paying for events 5.) pushing for a relationship Moral of the video: If attraction is not happening naturally even when u (ladies) decide to show u are interested in him too - verbally & physically then call it quits!

[@casandra6920]

Thanks

[@loveleiparadise9393]

"Be true to you".. always & forever & you'll never go wrong. Until you meet the right match, stay focused & be the best version of yourself that you can be 😊

[@thewayofthewell4547]

Best and "to the point" answer! Fall in love with Jesus FIRST.

[@JamesB1982z]

Excellent words🤙🏼✌🏽

[@zeljkamarson950]

This is so complicated and there are so many difficulties for something to go wrong that I don't want to be involved in any relationships at all.

[@rosebelizaire6397]

Don't complicate things in life. What meant for you will be

[@JamesB1982z]

💯

[@lynnmcmillian5137]

Don’t chase period! I’m too precious for that!❤❤❤❤❤

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏

[@basicinfo2022]

👏👏👏

[@73odus]

The secretary at my school left a staff phone list of emergency contact numbers on the staff room table (for staff to update). I took the bull by the horns and texted (one of my colleagues). We've been dating ever since (10 months) and are now talking about marriage.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏

[@mermer418]

This was so insightful. It’s great hearing things from a man’s perspective because men and women are so different. Hearing things straightforward from a man is necessary. At least for me. Thanks Stephan!

[@celestinebennett212]

Sometimes as a woman, it is good to pull back and watch everything from An "Aerial Perspective point of view" and Cut Lips...

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏

[@michellekatarina17]

I am listening to your videos for almost a year and actually, from what I see KZbin is sending me, your videos makes so much sense. I feel you are speaking from experience and I found so much truth in everything you say. I think, as a woman, we need to work on ourselves and really understand that no one is more special than the other. I think man should respect a woman and treat her like a queen, but because she is a lady and respects him too. I see many things out there from other women and I do not agree with them. The lake of education, bad language or disrespectful attitude are a NO for a woman. I enjoy your great work and I am grateful that I have the chance of coming back and listen your great videos whenever I feel I need some adjustments . Most of them work so good. Thank you! Be blessed and happy 😇🙏🏻

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏

[@wejoin]

Two strikes…yes. I’m too old to waste time. If he’s undecided, ain’t nobody got time for dat!😂

[@itsstillhair6263]

Decernment is the opposite of desperation

[@xojorgettexo3776]

I would say desperation can get in the way of discernment

[@itsstillhair6263]

@@xojorgettexo3776 Definitely can

[@terriwhalen3618]

I agree 👍! Presenting your interest in a sincere authentic way is priceless. It is being who you are. If the man doesn't show interest or is not ready, then we women need to respect this. Not everyone in society is going to like us or approve of us. We best get this truth down and understand that it's ok. If we can't be ourselves, then why attempt at a relationship. It will not work. Know who you are, know your standards, you be high standard yourself. Be sincere. Amen!

[@vickiegillum26]

You've opened up my eyes on a player Gemini man who ghosted me in August. He is healing from past relationships and a marriage. I moved on.

[@JusticeLeanne717]

I’m so sorry - I understand . I feels absolutely awful to be ghosted

[@BamaMotherTrucker]

I’m with you on the planning. I don’t do planning. I just go with the flow. If I want to do something, I just do it.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏

[@thenutrientwhisperer3700]

I feel that in order to get someone to step towards you… you need to step back to give them that space💣

[@CarmenPerez-kz6rw]

Absolutely

[@chelbelASMR]

This isn’t just women to be fair.. this goes both ways. I agree with every single thing you’ve said, but for men and women. can see it from both angles 👏

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤

[@RachelSDay1982]

I've always been old-fashioned, I guess, because I feel the man should take the lead. If he's really interested in you and he's actually emotionally available, he will initiate things.

[@Princessfrmalmighty]

Me to I'm old fashion and been that way since little girl

[@karenmassey8354]

@KenyagirlyNah. Life experience will teach you that if he wanted to he would. Period.

[@junehat4217]

Same, we're pretty much screwed. We will be waiting forever...

[@monicamata1656]

Re:#5: No, once I walk, I WALK and NEVER look back so closing that door because then it's not fair to whoever I'm dating next., not to mention I hate when they do that to me (it has happened like 3 times.

[@vanniar2021]

I think there’s nothing wrong with showing I interest by flirting first. However after that the ball is in his court 😂

[@kaoshi_kutie]

Agreed!!

[@leannegraceliberty]

Beautiful shirt! I love the colours 👌 Please note! 😂😂 I noticed the shirt, and typed this before you said it's okay to "Give a man a compliment" I approve of this message ❤

[@Lily_and_River]

Thank you for this balanced video. It was painful for me but also healing. My husband tried to constantly frame my initiating and need for love and attention in our marriage as desperate and clingy. But the truth was he was just very dismissive and avoidant. For years I thought I had to continue to invest in my marriage because I took our marriage vows so seriously. But last year he broke many vows and kept pushing me away so that I stopped investing too and eventually had to separate and go no contact. It became emotionally abusive. I still wonder if in the beginning of our relationship I was a bit too desperate and pushed our marriage too much. He wanted marriage from the beginning but at one point he told me he wasn't sure he was ready and he didn't want to marry so fast. I made clear I wanted to marry but I also waited for about a year untill he asked me to marry him and in the end we were together 3,5 years before marriage. Now he told me I pushed him, but I feel I only voiced my own opinion and desire. I believed he was committed when he finally asked me. After all the manipulation and gaslighting it's hard to think straight. I think I shouldn't blame myself for his choices and behaviour. I was just being myself and he seemed to love me then and want to marry. Why that changed, I don't know. I guess trauma and attachment anxiety caught up with him. Addiction doesn't help either. The part about being yourself and the right man wanting to cling to you made me cry. I really need to stop seeing myself as desperate or clingy. How would I've been able to walk away now if I was? If he ever wants me back or if I will start a relationship with someone again, I do know that I will be very careful to see if a man truly reciprocates my feelings, not just with words but with actions.

[@trinawhitfield7999]

You are talking to me right now! I hear you. Loud and clear

[@diamondbrightxxx7531]

I did all of these. After years just getting a divorce and then finding a very attractive man. We are still together to this day. I felt like I was fighting for my love.

[@Sovereignty-j2u]

Thank you for this. I've had my mom say "don't smile too much, don't act too happy, you'll come off desperate" and this made me not sure how much effort to show or even how to be excited

[@brittthecancerqueenempress9137]

Facts I just don’t have time for anymore childish games from immature men who refuse to grow up and then love to gas light manipulative I just had to leave it took a min because I was questioning myself like what I do but noo I clearly seen it wasn’t me it was him and principle of it smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@mercedesmumbela.4185]

No way am I sliding in anyman's DM.

[@WakeUpLing]

Thanks. I’m happy I am on the right track. Communication is key spoken and unspoken. Pay attention to both especially your own.

[@thankfulblessed8496]

I’ve never been desperate and I always have let the man pursue me

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏

[@eugenaarnold3965]

Yes, sliding in DM's🤔I definitely gave the side eye😂but when I talk to ppl who met ppl online, they have a better connection. I haven't had good luck with meeting ppl online😢

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I pray that you receive the man who is truly best for you, the man God has for you 🙏

[@firstbestbaby]

I did this the other day, as I see a guy on the school run and it is hard to speak, it is busy/crowded. We instinctively winked n' smiled at eachother at the same time, so I 'slid into his DM' and we're still speaking a week later and arranged to meet up soon ☺️

[@harmoniousandtranquilhannah]

I’m happy for you! I hope it works out 😊 ❤️

[@firstbestbaby]

@@harmoniousandtranquilhannah Awe, that's really lovely. Such a kind message to receive 🙏 💜

[@lisasunshine7654]

27:51 Constantly pushing for a relationship. 2 strikes and you’re (he’s) out! If you continue on in a gray area, it becomes a Situationship.

[@sherry2250]

Lynn Whitfield was the obsessed/excessive actress in the movie A Thin Line Between Love and Hate with Martin Lawrence. The reason she was all up on him like that is because he decided to chase & string her along. She was happy in her real estate career until he decided it was ok for him to toy with her feelings knowing his real interest was for Regina King's character. He made promises to her that he never kept...he used and abused her which was totally wrong. Even though this was just a movie, it yet resonates in real life situations. All too often, men view women as toys for them to play with. They do not at all realize that KARMA will be something horrifying for them based upon their blatant mistreatment of women who only did right by and desired to love those men. The best gift any man can do for any woman is to NOT flirt with, talk to, look at or direct any other kind of flirty gestures at her if he is not genuinely interested. This behavior represents the WORST emotional damage he could ever do to her 😑!

[@freeyeam752]

Well said 👏🏾

[@Julie_loves_YHVH]

Thank you for being lighthearted with some not so light content. I appreciate when you laugh like out of blue like “sliding in on the DM’s”. I always crack up. Sometimes I can take myself too seriously so I enjoy opportunities to lighten up and laugh. 😄

[@juliecroteau2954]

I am so very thankful for this helpful, positive advice 🙏 Extremely positive and helpful, especially to the ladies who tend to overthink. 😳 I feel so much more clearer and confident with each video. As you have said, “there is much poor advice on relationships “ Thank you ❤ So freeing! I don’t have to change myself in ways that don’t feel authentically me 🦋

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️

[@franniephilip8371]

Stephan, I love your approach and delivery of so much invaluable advice!!! I could listen to you all day every day❤🙌

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!

[@marygranke204]

I like to plan. I am very much a planner. I would not have a problem planning if the man doesn't want to do that. And I am not a clingy person and I can't take a man who constantly needs to be underneath me all the time. The man has to have a life outside of me. Good information. Thank you so much.

[@enaalexis92]

The part where you were freaked out by the 14 messages, had me laughing, you are funny when you aren’t even trying. 😅

[@beefaye6861]

😂....I could never send a man 14 messages....u lucky to get one 😅

[@authorlarhondanfelton9152]

Thank you Stephan. At some point it goes from desperation to begging. Either way, it’s not a good look 💜💜

[@SofiUk0319]

Thank you a million times over, i had been flirting w my crush for about a few months, and it was getting more intense.. i noticed he got his haircut n was dressing up jst to see me... so, i gave him my # 1 day n he called, i still have NEVER called or texted him, EVER. He knows that im in to him yes, but he also knows that in no way am i going to beg for his attention ❤

[@DontTakeItLiteral]

Stephan I was with you all the way up until you said “nothing wrong with DM’ing a man first” uhhh, yea it is 😂 that’s definitely giving desperate vibes. I would take a man’s number simply bc he asked me for it, but seeking him in his DM is what men do. Ladies please don’t DM that man 😂 if he wants you he would have DM you. But everything else , I agree 😊🩷🫶🏽

[@mzion4686]

Amen! Thank you for speaking out the truth ❤

[@fairpoet81]

Yes Ma'am, agreed. I have worked on my Attachment Style (was Anxious, since childhood), and some time after becoming a widow, I became comfortable in my own skin without even companionship, friend or lover (it didn't happen overnight). What I've noticed is: friends, family even people (journalists and podcasters) have noticed my absence when I go within and have stopped the comments or reaching out to them. It seems that those who actually care about my welfare and seem to appreciate my presence will inevitably reach out, when I'm just occupied tending to my own world (like work, paying property taxes, being independent). It's almost alarming to see that the folks (family, friends, etc) that we think love us, are the ones that only reciprocated to our calls to them. Being a loner ain't everyone's cup of tea, but let me tell you!!!---- it shows who actually appreciates you! Love & Light, beautiful Ladies. 🙏

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤

[@gigi9301]

Okay, I guess I'm too old to be watching these dating videos, but would someone please tell me the difference between a text and a DM? Are they the same thing? Thank you~

[@englishapplications6323]

​@@gigi9301yes

[@SoniyaChoudhary9205]

Thankyou for the clarity Stephan ❤

[@Bbn_clips]

17:18 I love the way you laugh Stephan 😅

[@Divalesley122]

Wow I needed this😢 Thank you Stephen! You gave me clarity on whether I was calling too much! He definitely responds he was calling more tho🤷🏽‍♀️

[@smarco428]

My uncle used to say, "I'll buy, you fly"....meaning that he would pay for whatever the family dinner/event was & my aunt/we would make all of the arrangements. So, I really like your, "I'll pay, you plan" saying. I don't mind organizing the event, if it helps make the time we spend together actually happens, run smoothly & is awesome. Reciprocating each others' energy is key!

[@meliYAH1986]

Stephan I absolutely appreciate this video. I can honestly say i have been in the desperate woman shoes just recently even though this man was making me think i wasnt being that way... come to find out he was still married and allegedly been getting a divorce for the past 4 years (HINT into why he couldnt provide me with an relationship after 6 months of dating) Never the less I walked away from him and have my eyes on a gentlemen who is actually keeping my attention, very consistent with effective POSITIVE communication and I guess you can say IM HIS TYPE OF CLINGY 😊. APTTMH YAHUAH Shalom.

[@LifewithFlorence_265]

It's crazy how almost each and every one of your recent videos feel like you're talking about my life.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Glad I could help 🙏

[@kelligray1848]

I started watching your videos after I divorced. I have learned soooo much and have had a great time dating and building friendships. I’ve now found someone who could be the one but we are going super slow and it is the richest relationship I’ve ever had. Thank you! Your videos should be shown in every high school in the world. Much appreciation and love from rural Alaska. My 60s are definitely my happiest decade yet.

[@blessingsfromspirit6881]

Sometimes when we really like someone and they blow our phone up, it can also push us away if we are fearful. I had this with a man and it made me push him away. We ended up being casual and dating other people because it was too much and too intense too soon. Then when I was ready, he was terrified because he felt not good enough since I had pushed him away at first. It was a mess. Sucks because we could be really good together I think.

[@Shelly-pl2vn]

Did the same thing. He's moved on of course, but I just feel horrible as I never wanted to hurt him.

[@FeliciaEkanem-pm1uz]

"Time to stop pushing....start walking away" 🤗🤗🤗🤗 I got that... have already given a time frame for myself..i think my date is too too resist and he's scared.. what he's scared of is what I don't know although we're yet to have a very deep conversation since he hardly have time and we're still early in the relationship couple with the fact that i don't want him to see me as a desperate lady. He placed me at high value according to him he likes the way I compose myself. I figure it out that he's not ready for marriage while I'm and at the same time he doesn't want me to go.. I don't know what to do 🤔🤔🤔🤔

[@debralitton4600]

Thank you for clearing some things up on here because I wasnt sure about some of this. Thanks so much for sharing.

[@maipham4766]

Omg you know women and relationships on such a deep level learning so much about women and men here. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@joemincer8882]

🤣🤣🤣🤣You had a fifth stage stalker. Fourteen times!🤦🏾‍♀️I like men who have something to do, because I like my space.

[@sonyadouglas8565]

I'm becoming more comfortable in showing my interests! I'm learning about the eye contact and holding it for a few seconds or so. However, I'm not desperate, lonely or thristy.

[@dianaross1055]

yes🎉 very helpful ✊🏼 and always appreciate you 💜😍💜 and your wise advice, thank you 💜🤝🏼

[@chanelf9509]

You are just so sweet, thoughtful and kind ❤

[@Britney_O]

I really needed this! Thanks for the update 😸

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏

[@Anna-qy7if]

desperate=fearful Totally agree!

[@TeluguGirlInCanada]

I’m so happy for your page. It’s make me realize about my situations.

[@noramaghanoy4941]

Been following you for almost five years now StephanSpeaks. I must say, you keep getting better and better. Thank you for being you. 🙏🏼

[@karanolson]

Stephan speaking FACTS again! If you are clear with your interest, and he doesn't take that bait, he's going to at least try to secure SOMETHING. Truth.

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️

[@karanolson]

@@MeetStephanSpeaks I watch your videos all the time...no exaggeration. So much insightful, good information for all of us. Plus you're just hilarious. Keep on with your purpose....it helps so many people! I am also a member of Jay Shetty's Genius Community and saw your video with him. Brilliant!

[@phumzilelekunyane]

12:04 felt this loud and clear ❤ Thank you very much to such wonderful insight

[@MeetStephanSpeaks]

I appreciate that 🙏

[@victoriousneish429]

Very true! at the same time, women should reserve that level attachment/closeness for when they're well into the relationship and commitment has been established(as opposed to the early stages) . It's safe that way, considering the fact that men are hunters..

[@henyatova226]

reading people skills and verbal communication 🔥

[@user-sz6vy7xt6j]

I just want to say you are doing an awesome job educating us in this ever changing dating arena.... Always the first to listen and adjust! I have a question ??????? not related to this, you covered it well! BUT I would really LOVE for you to address older woman, younger man!!!!! How much younger is too young!!! I think I've found him but a 10yr spand.....I know I'm not the only one.... HELP!!!!!

[@jenniferdawn2177]

I think it’s important to look at attachment styles, like once you get attached to a guy, are you anxious and nervous about losing him? Because all these points made in the video, in my eyes, comes from an anxious attachment style. It’s an awful feeling and yes, it makes us look desperate when we are, in fact, scared to be abandoned and neglected. It’s also in our upbringing- like if we had a neglectful dad, mom or both- then we can become attracted to that dismissive type of guy since it’s so familiar.

[@lindsay4110]

How do you explain a man who expressed they like you first and you reciprocate that you like them too then they disappear. It’s almost like when I lean into their interest, receive and reciprocate it then they leave after.

[@sylviaAguenther-zc9lg]

Thank U Stephan all your videos R very helpful & healing. Thank U for the special prayer U send us your viewers, blessings R B@ U💕🕊️🦋

[@tess7798]

I fell for this. A man gave mixed messages, but I didn’t recognize it due to being out of the dating world for so long. I didn’t even know dating multiple people at once was a thing… what a turn off dating has become.

[@angelictigerette]

Thanks for this. I was guilty of doing this in the past, but have since moved forward.

[@Ladybytheseashore]

I have watched this video thrice and I've finally gathered my thoughts even though I'm kinda contradicting myself in some areas. I agree that it does come across that the roles are subtly trying to change. Women want to view men as being leaders, providers and protectors (yes, even in the beginning stages of dating...to a degree) but now-a-days it appears that men want women "to lead" (in initiating first contact), "provide" (initial point of contact through DM's and giving out their telephone numbers to make it easier on them) and "protect" (men are more sensitive and protecting their own feelings. However,-no one should not be hurting anyone's feelings) and putting the majority of the work on the women. Meanwhile, men sit back reviewing their prospects. That's doesn't seem fair to me. Here's the contradicting part: But at the same time... how is a man suppose to know that a woman likes him if she doesn't make her interest known to him? Unless you want to live with regret you gotta tell him how you feel. Last, There is one man that I REALLY do like and respect. He's handsome, smart, funny, confident, assertive, humble and the list goes on and on. Actually, he looks just like you (smile- "hint-hint", "wink-wink") but I haven't completely healed but I'm doing the inner work. Should I tell him how I feel now or wait until after I'm healed? Please advise. Thanks!

[@dede02024]

Tell him how you feel now. Time flies..

[@ninaw5743]

Love ur sense of humor and your advice is so helpful. Just discovered your page.

[@house88874]

Okay that laugh 😂 was priceless Confident women really just go ahead and do , If it doesn't work out ,oh well The older I get the more I realize , you ain't got nothing to lose. 🎉enjoy life Don't take it too seriously A real man is gonna court a woman ,any real woman should know that. Rejection is definitely redirection. 🙏 By the way 😂 About that girl She had major abandonment issues and also lack of self worth and she needed your assurance for her own well being , this excessive behavior is mostly about the persons own insecurities projecting it on to you. That's why A good time Isn't always a good time A better time Is taking time

[@kdjoshi726]

"Most won't wait that long" I really think you should... as I had friends who had seen their thing going downhill right after they got physical

[@minahtheweirdo]

Damned if we do... damned if we dont