Relationship OCD vs. Relationship Anxiety | Why You’re Questioning Everything

[@StephAnya]

If you think you may be struggling with OCD, visit learn.nocd.com/stephanya to book a free 15 minute call with NOCD. To learn more about OCD visit www.youtube.com/@treatmyocd/

[@Kialindsey]

Thank you for being so nonjudgmental. I’ve personally felt a lot of shame around compulsions and the constant validation seeking and even worse when I feel like I want to stop but can’t. It’s the worse.

[@StephAnya]

There’s nothing to judge ♥️. I hope that you’re able to get some support soon because it can be so overwhelming.

[@mariademicheli5603]

As someone who suffered from OCD for 2 years it's great to see videos that raise awereness of OCD, so thank you! And for anyone struggling with any kind of OCD, there is a treatment for it, in my personal experience CBT has changed my life

[@thecommonsensecapricorn]

I like that you say “suffered”, a lot of mental health disorders ARE treatable and lots act as if they are doomed to struggle with them. I had severe OCD all throughout grade school to cope with things at home, and in high school I managed to overcome that. I still struggle with less obvious forms of OCD like rumination/fixating on things mentally, but I’m working through that now. It can definitely come back but we can tackle it with the tools we learn. I’m happy for you 💗🌹

[@mariademicheli5603]

@@thecommonsensecapricorn Thank you for sharing with me your OCD journey, there can definitely be lasting effects as you are mentioning (rumination/fixating) but the tools that we can learn in therapy are great shields when we are dealing with these symptoms. I'm happy for you as well ❤

[@alehidalgoc]

Nice video! I would love a video about how to stop sabbotaging relationships, specially at the beginning. How to stop fixating on little details and being very demanding with others, looking for small "mistakes" and excuses to break up, cause you feel unloved if others dont express love exactly how you want it. And that also brings a lot of anger. Pleasee!! Thank you for your amazing videos, they help us heal ❤️‍🩹

[@majoclavijo921]

I NEED THIS VIDEO ASSAAAAPP 🙃🙃🙃

[@zira413]

YESSSSSSSSSSSS I NEED THIS. PLEASE STEPH WE BEG YOU

[@Brownie2114]

The way ROCD has affected me is this. My obsessions are that I am not with "the one", that I may feel tempted to cheat one day, that I am not attracted to my partner, that I don't love my partner because I get irritated with him or because the honeymoon stage is over, that I will fall out of love. I also have misread these obsessions as gut feelings. The compulsions are looking things up on the internet (for example How to know if you're with "the one" or Signs you're not in the right relationship), asking for reassurance, asking people around me if they think my relationship is healthy. My triggers are any unhealthy relationship in media, any article saying to "trust your gut" in a relationship (harmful, as it's difficult for me to separate obsessive fear with gut feeling), observing any relationship in which there is cheating or falling out of love. I have been dealing with ROCD for 5 and a half years in my healthiest, most stable relationship of my life. It really has nothing to do with the person. The thing that helped me most is STOPPING the compulsion, even when it seems impossible to do so.

[@rebeccat1888]

This described my own experience exactly! I don't feel like therapy is going to help because I feel like I've analyzed and researched it enough, but if I may ask; what did you do to stop the compulsions that worked for you?

[@Ana-x8w2x]

@@rebeccat1888 I am going through this as well, trust me Therapy has helped alot, even just talking to someone about all these thoughts helps. Wishing you luck

[@ValeriaCorona1]

I would like to know too how you stop the compulsion, I'm struggling with this cycle too and I identified a lot with what you said.

[@xLiLlyx98]

Oh wow, i knew i clicked on this video for a reason, something told me it would relate to my ezperience and this comment described it exactly. Whenever there is stress and that leads to less affection expressed verbally and physically, i start to doubt everything within days, starting to feel disconnected and thereby feeling less attraction, wondering whether whatever "symptom" i perceive is "normal at this stage", etc etc. I would also be very interested in hearing how you stopped because i need a way to manage all this. When things are good, they are really good and almost no symptoms/issues but knowing there will always be stressors in life, there needs to be a plan b...

[@xLiLlyx98]

And also I feel you on the triggers through depictions of unhealthy relationships! Sometimes they fascinate me in like an unhealthy way (in that "car crash" kind of way), sometimes i cant stand watching dysfunction romanticised and will get angered. But sometimes even healthy and happy relationships, esp of people around me will set me off because i compare and ruminate, and that steals both my/our happiness as well as makes me a worse friend, these issues bleed over into my ability to be happy for others.. 😢

[@lynlyn6854]

My favorite therapist on KZbin ✨ love how you have your thoughts organized . It’s easy for the audience to follow :-)

[@StephAnya]

Thank you so much ♥️

[@fabiennerivet4968]

Oh my god thank you for this video! I remembered asking for it a while ago!

[@StephAnya]

Thank you for this suggestion!!

[@jessapuff]

I was really struggling with these “what if” questions regarding my relationship. My therapist asked me: what other area in our lives are we told we only have one shot? That really opened my eyes and I felt better knowing that that some questioning is normal due to monogamy being so prioritized in our culture. I’d be curious to learn where the line is between where I’m at and relationship OCD. Also I feel like a lot of the compulsions mirror behaviors from disorganized attachment (anxious and avoidant).

[@haryel5058]

You’re so good at what you do! I’m learning so much with you. I’m becoming a better person for people in my life 😊

[@StephAnya]

That made me smile 😊

[@rachelgoodman8821]

ROCD is the most excruciating type of mental torture. I had it for years and it keeps you in limbo - not leaving, not committing. Really tough. Thanks for bringing general awareness to this topic! I look forward to the day that I see more research about it. I was shocked when I saw this video because NO ONE talks about ROCD!

[@saycroche]

i feel like chelsea from love is blind MIGHT struggle with this

[@zagorskaewelina]

Season 6 Chelsea?

[@saycroche]

@@zagorskaewelina yes

[@julia13130]

I feel like me from today might struggle with this😭 but yes totally agree this reminds me of S6 Chelsea!

[@rmy_Youtube]

Oh wow! Interesting topic! StephAnya is always helping me learn about things I've never thought of

[@exmoextra999]

Damn.. i thought i was self sabotaging, but i think maybe i have this instead because I'm not trying to push people away while im acting out during my attempts to seek reassurance...i try not to obsess but i tend to even though I'm usually a very independent person..

[@Bosque1993]

Thank you so much for talking about this! I had no idea existed, so I learned something new today ❤ I was thinking, if you are still open to suggestions, what about making a video related to body dysmorphia? I would love to see your explanations and advices on the field Thank you again Steph!!

[@calebrosario1844]

So happy you made a video on this! Thank you for listening!!

[@StephAnya]

Thank you for the suggestion!!

[@Inari4877]

I suffer from relationship rumination and having to catch myself using CBT regularly to try and not feed it when my partner isn't around because I don't want to verbally ask for reassurance all the time. It is exhausting at times. To all you people out there who are similar, im sending you love ❤️

[@lizzie404]

I NEEDED THIS VIDEO 😭😭

[@ntokozongiba4978]

I love your videos!❤ Please do a movie breakdown next, specifically 'Why did I get married'

[@JuriAmari]

Yes! I’ve been curious about Patricia’s dynamic (Janet Jackson’s character) since she tends to push a perfect front due to her expertise as a marriage counselor. It also may be great to see if some of the techniques she mentions to her friends are even effective methods to recommend.

[@zagorskaewelina]

Thank you! Wow, never heard of this but now that I think of it, it seems that I had been struggling with this problem for a long time. I think I started healing recently.

[@StephAnya]

I’m glad that you’re already addressing it ♥️

[@zagorskaewelina]

Thank you ❤​@@StephAnya

[@trumpetmama82]

How does ROCD differ from insecure attachment?

[@monsutades9999]

The way you went about this topic was excellent. I would greatly appreciate a video on people with R-OCD going through a breakup and what that can look like and potential steps to healing. As someone with rocd myself I greatly appreciated the video especially the way that you went about speaking on the subject without judgment and with so much compassion. We need more mental health professionals speaking on this topic rather then the gurus and coaches haha Much Thanks for all the work!🫂🖤

[@castM10039]

Thank you so much for this video. It’s so cray that I found it in my feed. Cuz I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I have ocd. I recently broke with with my long term relationship & they never realized that that’s what I was dealing with the whole time. And I can resonate with this video. Looking back at my relationship with now knowing this information. I was guilty of those thoughts and actions. We are separated now. But I did always want that reassurance and he never gave it to me. But it wasn’t because of my problem. He had some problems of his own. But now that we are no longer sharing a home & waking up together everyday. I feel my obsessions and compulsions are getting worse & that’s when it hit me & realize that I need to get diagnosed. Thank you for recommending help, because I need it rn. 😔

[@wtfvenusss]

thank you for making this!

[@StephAnya]

Thank you for watching 🫶🏽

[@stephenyates4749]

Very good explanation of what OCD is good job

[@StephAnya]

Thank you ♥️

[@katiesackett2321]

ROCD has ruined almost every relationship I've ever been in. I always thought the intrusive thoughts, ruminating, and compulsions were tied more to my anxiety and depression. Its nice to know its something else. That explains why my usual coping mechanisms and tools don't help.

[@loudmouthwife]

I love this video so much! My husband has OCD and dealt with relationship OCD when we first started dating 8 years ago. But back then, there wasn’t many resources for me to learn how to better support him. I’ve thankfully really tried to educate myself and of course, ask him questions, too. I think and hope this video will help a lot of people!

[@StephAnya]

I’m so glad that you were able to find resources to help!!

[@cookieeversum]

Damn thanks, I think I could have it. Could you do a video how to deal with it when u can’t afford or can’t get a therapy? 🥺

[@cyandiver]

I was married to someone with OCD, which turned into them obsessively going through my accounts, phone, computer for proof that I had been with someone else, and me constantly trying to reassure them that it wasn't true. It was abusive. It was such a horrible experience.

[@cwashington5281]

Could you do a video on autism and relationships?

[@AnnaLoxuv]

I would like to suggest a topic. “How can you find a good fit therapist” I have been avoiding therapy most of my life because I prefer to listen and learn more than I prefer to talk about myself and my problems to what feels like a reassuring wall. I have been considering therapy again, but I don’t want to just talk about myself and be reassured that my feelings are valid. So how does someone like me find their therapist match?

[@clarissaarevalo1962]

Good question! I have been to 4 therapists. My experiences are wide ranging and can be very severe to very light but consistent behaviors that cause issues. So I struggle finding a therapist that can help my full range of experiences/symptoms.

[@eddygraham101]

Very insightful, thank you 🙏🏻 s

[@sam-cn8tu]

Thank you so much🙏🏾

[@rojita_girl]

So, question… is it considered relationship OCD if you have those questions/doubts in only a purely healthy relationship? You mentioned that most times people with this do feel the person is “the one” and they don’t actually feel that way. In my case, my partner is a good person and I know he treats me well, but I feel certain things show (what I perceive) as signs he isn’t being as thoughtful or (again, what I perceive) as loving enough. I just wonder if that’s a sign that this relationship really isn’t healthy, and if we got therapy and/or if I left this relationship and perhaps had a healthier one those thoughts would change. Not sure if that makes sense. I’ve had these thoughts/issues with past partners but those relationships were toxic so again hard to understand if I was having that relationship OCD or if it was just anxiety over the toxicity. Either way with my current partner those questions are constant, and like I said I do mostly believe my partner is the right one for me but because I feel at times unhappy with the relationship I wonder if it’s just my head creating those “issues” or if it’s likely true unhealthiness.

[@briefind]

I know this isn’t love is blind related, but when you do your analysis videos on can you please do Hannah and Nick first?

[@samariam3043]

Do you know what some of the cause of OCD are?

[@mothicbeauty]

Thank you

[@StephAnya]

Thank you for watching ♥️

[@codycat6]

thank you for this! i have ocd and rocd has been so gnarly at times. it's great to see people spreading awareness 🫶