Surviving Edged Weapons - JonTron

Thanks to Dollar Shave Club for sponsoring. Go to www.DollarShaveClub.com/jontron to get your starter set for $5. After that, the restock box ships full-sized products at regular price.
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Follow JonTron Here:
Instagram: / jontronshow
Twitter: / jontronshow
Business Inquiries:
jontron(at)ellifyagency.com
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Crew:
Director, Writer, Editor - Jon Jafari
Director of Photography/Line Producer - Sergio Emilio Torres
Camera Operator - Conor Murdock
Gaffer- Michael Shayne
Editor - Andrew Reynoso
Sound Mixer - Keaton Hild
Production Designer/ Prop Master- Lynell Vinuya
Leadman - Mike Butler
Carpenter - Robert Taylor
Makeup Artist - Maria Alexandra
Special Effects - Melanie Licata
Set PA - Aramis Klein
Assistant Editor - Lewis Bown
Cast:
Teenage Sister - Tamara Chichian
Teenage Brother - Daniel Stompor
Knife Culture Guests - Charlotte Claw, Craig Ernest Woodward, Georgia Morgan, Philip O'Gorman
Thug/Swordsman - Joseph Hernandez
Knife Culture VO - Lewis Bown
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Christmas JonTron Intro by Studio Yotta
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Christmas JonTron Theme by Tom Ryan

[@Berd]

i would not have been able to protect my family from santa's relentless flurry of edge-based attacks. Thank you for this video

[@Caterwaulin]

Remember SMENS

[@thesack6411]

Hello

[@zak7427]

oh my god it’s a berd

[@squasher0487]

God has entered the chat.

[@peepothefrog4331]

Relentless Mc Flurry?

[@sabertag6992]

Can we all just appreciate that Jon got 4 other people and himself to get dressed for a fancy dinner, cooked it, dressed the table for a 4 star meal in a Victorian home, all for a 10 second gag?

[@sleeplessdistrict3897]

SaberTag To be fair that good looks hella good

[@kirbysuperstar5494]

The man takes his jokes seriously

[@apassionatenerd.3564]

@Illumurian that still takes time and effort in fairness

[@ponnythedinosaur3963]

SaberTag I hope he’s not back on hiatus

[@TnT_F0X]

Jon: Alright I placed a takeout order from Applebees, get in costume if you want free dinner before editing for 72 hours.

[@GruelEnjoyer]

The fact that they put an Iron Maiden poster in the satanist’s house at 11:08 really shows the age of this training film

[@failsrus96]

That's the 80s for ya!

[@salommy]

Up the Irons!

[@rambeastgamer6472]

"Take cover that knife is fully loaded"

[@MrMCDiggles]

Satanic panic certainly was a thing.

[@kthxbaiz]

"shows the *edge* of this training film"

[@Evan24_7]

2:58 Can we just appreciate how Jon set up this entire scene for a 15 second gag?

[@lukamoon6094]

“Knife culture”

[@shadydaemon4178]

I wish I was there, I would dine in content with everyone there, the single cutlery choice would’ve been hilarious to use.

[@cheburgg]

no

[@strawberrana]

It should be *Shoot* the bad guy *Evade* enemy attacks *Move* behind cover *Evaluate* the situation *Neutralize* remaining threats

[@deadgodofneutrality7725]

Remember the things the academy taught us S.E.M.E.N beware of thrusting long hard objects

[@mrbeaver6000]

Semen saves lives.

[@strawberrana]

@@mrbeaver6000 Correction: S.E.M.E.N. saves lives

[@glorbshlanky5041]

CJgamr01 Correction: S.E.M.E.N. creates lives

[@KaeganThornhillTheCyberRaven]

If you're Officers of the Law always remember, Semen. S- Shoot First E- Evaluate later M- Maintain innocence E- Plant drugs N- News at 11

[@ryanlesner4716]

" I once saw him kill three men in a bar with a pencil. " " I only survived because I watched Surviving Edged Weapons. "

[@davincent98]

How about a magic trick?

[@ryanlesner4716]

@@davincent98 the joker did that.

[@davincent98]

@@ryanlesner4716 exactly

[@justhuman221]

*John wick join the chat*

[@commandercat10]

@@justhuman221 john wicks dog has left the chat

[@FloodlightGamingReal]

Can't wait for the sequel "how to dodge projectile based weaponry"

[@moppman1879]

you wish bro

[@WalterTheWalrus]

Payday 2 be like

[@notageologist3022]

​@@WalterTheWalrus"I may have 60% chance to dodge bullets but not 60% chance to dodge alimony."

[@ryancarrell3186]

there is a real sequel, and it's about negotiating hostage situations.

[@Unoriginality_Incarnate_stupid]

How to evade pew pew pow pows

[@squishybrick]

"Edge based attack" just sounds like a term used by a DnD game. Always beware of edge based attackers.. You may be equipped with a bullet-proof vest that gives 65% resistance to bullet based attacks, but edge based attacks can bypass this and deal critical damage, to even the hardiest of officers.. Remember.. There's no save throw for incompetence..

[@dungeon_delvers]

The police assailant enters my melee range, but luckily he failed his perception check to realize I have my broadsword sheathed in the Tim Hortons. I roll a critical sneak attack, and since he has vulnerability to edge based attacks, I do x4 damage.

[@KopperNeoman]

That's just most UFO Defence mods.

[@zombieattacker5221]

Actually knives are very effective on light police vests as they are made of a bunch of fibers that are made to distribute the force of a bullet but can be cut easily But if you have a plate carrying vest it's not as effective cause there's a steel plate in there.

[@Pigmedog]

its called slashing damage but about the same gist

[@vectorequinox6202]

This is legit how bulletproof armor works in World of Darkness games like Vampire and Hunter.

[@brock5485]

Imagine being a mid-40’s woman hired specifically to act as a Satanist who gets shot in a police training video

[@manofcultura]

Agent: boy deborah, do I have a role for you. We’ll break you out of that jerry springier crowd member #9 rut...

[@Shmaples]

HAIL SATAN

[@x_croner]

soon tell her children that satan saved her

[@cheekybananaboy3361]

it wasn't an act they really just invaded a satanist hideout and shot a bitch

[@uljk5699]

At first, I couldn't tell if she was genuinely an in-video character or just another disguise of Jon.

[@cgb6093]

all i got from this was "How to survive edged weapons" "use a gun."

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

If that doesn't work, use more gun

[@absolutelyyousless7605]

*Engineer’s guitar playing intensifies*

[@bubbykins4864]

*becomes a Pikachu like this is a weird attempt at comedy* *uses Thunderbolt* *Scimitar Murderer: DEAD!*

[@absolutelyyousless7605]

Bubby Kins *R/ImSoRandom.* Being random is not funny, you fiend

[@bubbykins4864]

@@absolutelyyousless7605 You tried linking a subreddit on KZbin.... And capitalized the first "r"? Not only that, but it says "attempt at" in there, acknowledging that someone's going to participate in the "put a subreddit name on KZbin _as the first thing you say"_ meme over my actually good advice for if by some chance, you become an Electric type. The point is that there is more than one way to defeat an enemy. You could even fight fire with fire, as chivalry had been doing. *loads pile driver-launching cannon with judicial intent*

[@Ciborium]

You forgot to mention that this video was filmed entirely in Milwaukee, WI, with an all-Milwaukee cast. This training film is the best training film of all time. It deserves an Academy Award.

[@crazedfangirl5654]

That's why it looks so familiar

[@1BrknHrtdRomeo]

Go watch RedLetterMedia's take on this. It's better overall lol but considering you have actual people from Milwaukee stumble on this and realize part of the way in that it's Milwaukee lol

[@schleepy6362]

"Shoot first, MENS later" is a quote I will carry with me for the rest of my life, honestly. Wise words to live by.

[@randomslomo1875]

I think when they say "knife culture" they mean what is commonly referred to as "living on the edge."

[@captainsunshine64]

Underappreciated comment

[@randomslomo1875]

@@captainsunshine64 Underappreciated appreciation 💜

[@gregorymirabella1423]

@@randomslomo1875 i appreciate you as well.

[@randomslomo1875]

@@gregorymirabella1423 😊

[@banditcat9957]

Take my like and fuck off

[@DamnUKakkaCarrotCake]

I'm no botanist, but doesn't Dollar Shave Club sell razors? Idk, sounds like edged weapons to me.

[@clickpause8732]

I'm no veterinarian, but you're right. Razor blades are deadly edged weapons that can provide severe edge-based attacks.

[@MrHendrix17]

The biggest missed opportunity in an ad read ever

[@tfwthelsdkicksin6083]

I'm no quantum physicist but yes you are correct

[@jamescromwell4055]

I'm no political scientist but now you know how to defend yourself against a razor. Just shoot. Dollar gun club.

[@the-letter_s]

Look, I may not be a member of the Homo Erectus species, but knife bad.

[@megaman1584]

6:02-6:10 I like how the guy with the scimitar is running and screaming towards jon like one of those kamikaze dudes from serious sam. 😂

[@Samstar369]

AHHHHHHHHHH 💣💣💣

[@haydengates128]

Now remember, the first thing you want to do in this scenario is stay calm. If you don’t get them in the first shot you always got four more. **Cocks and shoot shotgun** I got him in one but don’t feel bad if you don’t, take as many as you can.

[@lexaramoth3623]

I talked to a former cop, he said he had actually arrested a guy who dressed up like a ninja and swung a katana around

[@mydab66]

Lmao

[@TheAntonicKnight]

I'm glad Jontron canonically exist in the Red Letter Media Cinematic Universe

[@Osamathegamer]

Wait, where?

[@fahrenheit2795]

He should be on best of the worst.

[@orcatwar9810]

not the wheel of the worst!!!!!!!!!!!! he will be broken man!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@rocioquiroz11]

@@RedmoonStudiosYT Nope, Mr Plinkett was the start and he came way before Jon.

[@grimmashley8422]

The what?

[@cheesemccheese7837]

mad respect for creating an entire other set for the "knife culture" joke.

[@PurpleColonel]

I'm kinda disappointed it didnt turn into a mad stabbing party

[@mr.mondomacho6815]

Yo, how can I buy/stream episodes of “Knife Culture”? I’m a HUGE fan of old-timey British television!

[@cheesemccheese7837]

@JONATHON FISHER I wouldn't for your own sanity

[@hewhobattles8869]

Same

[@tausiftaha12]

@@cheesemccheese7837 you're name

[@TheWigglerKing]

3:04 I love how everyone else at the table looks right but jontron just sticks out so much

[@republicofengineers1983]

“Knife culture” kinda looks like a drama show I’d watch on Netflix Seriously, I’d watch that if it was actually a show

[@JovialSkunk]

How so?

[@TheWigglerKing]

@@JovialSkunk like everyone else is this like, clean shaven, rigid jawline, well Kempt hair, and then Jon is just, neck beard double chin, its hilarious

[@JovialSkunk]

@@TheWigglerKing Fym? He looks fine

[@TheWigglerKing]

@@JovialSkunk I mean he looks great physically, I was merely commenting on the difference between him and the others at the table, the others look like they fit into the aesthetic they were going for of upper-class dinner, and he doesn’t fit into that particular sect of appearance, I wasn’t calling him fat or ugly, and I wasn’t calling the other people better looking than him, they just look different from each other

[@killianmccartney5842]

That's the same excuse I would give to a police officer. " Was it f****** cool absolutely"

[@psychopathic_kitten1029]

"But officer, c'mon, that was a 360 noscope headshot! Right between the eyes! MIDAIR!!"

[@killianmccartney5842]

@@psychopathic_kitten1029 okay that was actually pretty f****** awesome

[@JG-ce3pu]

You’d say “was it fu***** cool absolutely” to the cop?

[@killianmccartney5842]

@@JG-ce3pu yeah

[@goldsteed8832]

​@@psychopathic_kitten1029alright that was pretty rad, your free to go

[@mynameisnotthathardtospell8199]

*_knife culture_*

[@labrynianrebel]

*sophisticated*

[@Cndr86]

Woo.

[@Chan0art]

Forget cancel culture

[@mastatheif9909]

British be like

[@liquidsnr7499]

We need to stop fully automatic knives

[@ianhoddinott9492]

"What are you gonna do, stab me?" _-Quote From Man Stabbed_

[@Ludwig_Perpenhente]

What? You egg?

[@SciaticCoast89]

@@Ludwig_Perpenhente *stabs him*

[@FightCain]

Takes from Borderlanss

[@silversoul9661]

@@SciaticCoast89 *saucy boy*

[@smugone3330]

*you are a saucy boy*

[@lewisclarke2840]

Jon disguised as Santa coming down peoples chimneys and stabbing children is literally the funniest thing ever

[@-Commit-arson-]

I love how John when he gave the police officer, a voice acting role. It was immediately assumed that he was Midwestern.

[@noesunyoutuber7680]

I think that was mostly because all the actors in Surviving Edged Weapons were clearly also midwestern.

[@-Commit-arson-]

@@noesunyoutuber7680 “Ah shiet!”

[@HenryLarson-wq2xp]

Specifically, it's a Milwaukee accent, everyone is from Milwaukee, where the movie was shot

[@MetaKaios]

*S* hoot *M* iss *E* at a popsicle *N* ap in the snow *S* tart over

[@springtrap1156]

So I fired again, I missed, I fired again, I missed, I passed out in the snow, I woke up with a popsicle stick in my mouth, I then reloaded my gun, then I fired again, I missed

[@storm_fling1062]

Not how I spelled semen (Also yes I know this is a joke with the anagram)

[@IGSA101]

@@springtrap1156 Did you try aiming before you shot?

[@IGSA101]

@@phoenixgenious Original what? Is there a reference I'm missing here? I was just making a joke.

[@fireyums]

@@springtrap1156 Long story short, missed!

[@stealthbeatle4945]

*S* - Shoot *M* - More Shooting *E* - Even More Shooting *N* - Nine Thousand More Shots *S* - Start Again!

[@slavsterchief6224]

You sir deserve a Popeye's chicken sandwich

[@JohnWick-sd3fd]

You sir deserve a sub

[@RealSkutti]

Now thats the American way.

[@Majinxavier]

He's not wrong though

[@NathanielVCatan]

This technique is so effective, that it is versatile for various situation. one of which is murder and armed robbery

[@archfiend221]

The funny part is now there's a movie called violent night about Santa killing people

[@Virtual-caveman]

Actually 😂

[@thegoatedone-yu8oe]

Very good movie

[@Strummie]

Not like it’s an original concept. Silent Night, Deadly Night came out in 1984 and there’s a ton of other movies and media in general that have a killer Santa in it.

[@masterchief8637]

@@Strummie but granted, this killer santa is a heroic santa

[@shadydaemon4178]

Oh god…

[@SirAsshat]

The RLM review of this on wheel of the worst is also a classic.

[@ronpaul5319]

Huge Jontron fan. Had to leave a dislike though, everyone keeps surviving my edge based attacks now because they’ve seen this interesting and informative video

[@PageofLegend]

IKR?! My relentless flurry of edge-based attacks used to be so effective on random groups of people, but now they see it coming a mile away.

[@collinchristensen7405]

My Dad voted for you

[@ElectricBarrier]

I used to crit 80% of the time, now I just keep getting MISSes. Thanks a lot JonTron.

[@kareemmasri3934]

@@collinchristensen7405 “SHUT UP, LARRY!!!!!!!” 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@slasher2595]

yeah relatable

[@skullhunter9962]

He is only sharing his sponsorship so we have an edged weapon to defend ourselves with this year.

[@cheekibreeki3757]

Not if your dad or mom is a cop

[@cheekibreeki3757]

Then your are possible treat

[@tc-vh3xk]

Then we go smens

[@lewisevans1151]

I'm English so how do I smens for I do not have a shoot do I need to stab instead

[@NodDisciple1]

@@lewisevans1151 Maybe?

[@camerapasteurize7215]

Ironically, many police officers have been badly wounded when they underestimated a criminal knife. Adrenaline is crazy, and bullets have very little knockback in reality, as they tend to just go straight through a target. As a result, someone within a certain distance can still reach a person and stab them with a knife, even if they've been shot, because shock and adrenaline are preventing them from feeling pain at that moment. There was an account of a group of bank robbers who were surprised by the cops in a shootout. Every single one of them was wounded or killed in the ensuing firefight, except for one robber, who escaped and ran down the road several blocks before he stopped, and dropped dead. He had been shot in the heart, but his panic and adrenaline prevented him from even feeling the wound until he lost enough blood to collapse.

[@googleandsusansucks]

"very little knockback in reality" Oh rly. It is called stopping power and yea, guns have a lot.

[@hansshekelstein9450]

Tangently related, but once a Mexican dude survived a firing squad during the Mexican revolution, being shot literally in the skull and managed to play dead and drag himself to a church through adrenaline.

[@pieguy101]

still watch this every christmas masterpeice of a video

[@rtfnf]

Welcome to JonTron. Where every episode is a holiday special because he only uploads once every 5 months. Edit: This is a JOKE I’m JOKING stop getting so heated in the cooments

[@keyshaun5015]

@Blue why

[@yowatchie]

Swearing Christian I mean he uploaded 19 videos last year so that’s a bit off.

[@gabesgameplay7272]

Jack Nope

[@owo9644]

persicly

[@gabesgameplay7272]

Jack Prob Not But Yeah Could Be A Chance You Just Said It Like It Happened Already

[@Tcj333]

Everyone in the credits looks like they were held at edgepoint.

[@lordcosby6364]

underrated comment right here.

[@JoJoTheOtter]

Tcj333 How utterly primitive.

[@V8_Diva]

They were held at SMENS point

[@sadjohnny6120]

I think that's the joke

[@thedarkkissel5331]

I disagree, Jon is NOT a dead meme... Kinda?

[@morkman]

I was rewatching this video, as one does, and I literally got an ad for a “monthly knife club.” That’s the kind of thing young knife culturists need to know about, as it’s a solid source of edge based weapons.

[@TheBodyEuphoric]

"Jumpin Jehovah James, that's a Scim-tar!"

[@nitrocharge2404]

I prefer having guns that shoot knives, however this video made this idea impractical, because now they know how to survive edged weapons

[@joshuamendoza7596]

NitroCharge 240 easy solution gun shaped knife now it’s a blunt weapon disguised as an edged one

[@SashaSlvt]

NitroCharge 240 thats just a crossbow.....

[@arneblonski2688]

Swordsplosion?

[@MJFallout]

Maybe try a really sharp gun; edged on every edge, giving you the real edge!

[@tylerwhite9923]

Bayonets my dude, bayonets.

[@CheeseYourself]

My dad owns like three swords, he just keeps them in his bedroom Should I be prepared to protect myself from his _relentless flurry of edge-based attacks_

[@littlelettuce936]

Trust no one my friend.

[@errortryagainlater4240]

This is how he's gonna tell you you're adopted. Be ready.

[@abelq8008]

Wear a bright colored uniform so he can easily identify you in a melee.

[@gyga4906]

Just remember to shoot first and mens later.

[@eyeaid9817]

Well if he knows three sword style, well as a karate hobo once said: "Omae wa mou shindeiru"

[@pairashootpants5373]

The sound of their socked feet as they "scanned" is just hilarious 😂

[@Twelvedemon]

Him screaming while firing the machine gun killed me 😂

[@nerd_5615]

5:54 I never once thought in my life I'd ever hear the phrase: "Jumpin' Jehovah James, that's a Scimitar he's got."

[@lucifearical]

That's why we love Johntron guy

[@urthegai1764]

@@lucifearical Jon tron guy?

[@urthegai1764]

Guy

[@lucifearical]

@@urthegai1764 h m m m It appears i have misspelled and yes

[@tora148]

Schmitmar

[@alderoth01]

The "SMENS" part got me 🤣! In the Army we just had Shoot, Move, Communicate 😆.

[@timmytacoburrito]

4:11 one my favorite skits ever

[@friedricedonkey7209]

A wise friend once said "Violence is never the answer, its the question and the answer is yes."

[@wolf-ranger]

I haven't heard that before. I love it!

[@lazyliongames5858]

@@wolf-ranger you unknife cultured swine

[@akumasstorytime3910]

Is your friend the fucking doom slayer

[@homersimpson3441]

I would like this comment but it's at 69 likes so I'll just leave it

[@definitelygoku4924]

@@lazyliongames5858 *Knife Culture*

[@stockphotokoalabear]

Not Mike

[@commentcopbadge6665]

Yes it is. LoL! Are you crazy or something?

[@Z_E_B_O]

British

[@thatonestarmanintorobotics4319]

_Potential Threat_

[@awk_mark]

Dead Meme

[@Auvisome]

Mike Matei's 10 incher.

[@jacketylon]

That laugh at 4:28 is amazing

[@Quib101]

As a Canadian we usually don't have guns as much as Americans, so this actually makes quite a lot of sense to have "Surviving Edged Weapons" as a official police training video.

[@BOYHUNF]

Except if you're in Alberta at least lol

[@Quib101]

@@BOYHUNF I live in Alberta... well in a more peaceful area tho

[@HenryLarson-wq2xp]

It makes sense for American cops too. People really do frequently use knives to commit crimes and attack others, even if a lot of people have guns as well. Or did you mean like, Canadian police doesn't have guns? That's the only way it could be more for them to watch this video than it is for any other cop

[@LoveLee_Dreamer]

God there's nothing better, nothing I love more, than a casual claymore.

[@Madmac42069]

Elfin Dreamer what about a sensual scemitar ??

[@tastierjungle4645]

Elfin Dreamer Dutlniv

[@danialhakim6665]

What about the problematic pencil?

[@City-Hunter]

it's more of a bastard sword to be honest...

[@LoveLee_Dreamer]

@@Madmac42069 Ah fuck, I didn't think about the sensual scimitar.

[@bloodwar5005]

No JonTron, you're not a dead meme. ....YET! *pulls out a bayoneted rifle*

[@jeremyb5619]

That’s no problem, he now knows how to survive edged weapons

[@Diego_Covre]

@@jeremyb5619 step 1: Shoot!

[@H3H3.podcast]

fuck quinton reviews

[@TJ-bg4fw]

SMENS THIS YOU FILTHY CASUAL!

[@ThomasAndersonbsf]

@@jeremyb5619 how about a fully automatic assault light saber! the AL-15!

[@kuru-kuru5867]

7:38 if you put them knife as a spear shaft, you got yourself a cosmic knife spear from Dead Money

[@neal_rigga90]

I know this video is 2 years old, but I'll have to show my kids this video every Xmas, just in case Santa gets wild in the upcoming years.

[@embodimentofgreatness5514]

two years?

[@teclinsoro4523]

“no money, no shit” should be on the door of those public toilets you have to pay to use

[@ryderr4702]

Yes

[@I_Like_Ike53]

@@ryderr4702 yes

[@randomguy5561]

Underrated Comment

[@I_Like_Ike53]

@@randomguy5561 you and I are not so different

[@awilddoge9991]

Ok grams but the gun down

[@naterk9460]

"Alright cadets. Now you know how to survive edged weapons. Any questions before we send you out into the field?" "Sargent, what if the bad guy has a blunt weapon, like a bat?" "... dear god..."

[@theysaidimasian9766]

"i knew we shouldve made a video for blunt culture, fuck"

[@Nobody-jn2zy]

Lmao

[@Nobody-jn2zy]

@@theysaidimasian9766 lmao

[@callmeanon307]

@@theysaidimasian9766 Just shoot

[@rainbowlemniscate2761]

What if they have a bat with a knife taped to it tho

[@cyborgninja5489]

Jon's gun effects look really good.

[@jairosimahan4986]

Dont get me wrong, this content Jon got nowadays is awesome. But this one is my favorite.

[@moxxy3565]

"Jumping Jehovah James that's a scimtar he's got." My new favorite sentence.

[@n1thecaptain965]

Yes

[@oriolejb9774]

I have to agree with you

[@unprankable666]

My second favorite. For me, nothing will beat out, "And they hung in the air very much in the way that bricks don't."

[@emeraldemperor2601]

I just wish it was "Jumping J. Jonah Jameson!"

[@dionjaywoollaston1349]

That’s a first for me, I’ve heard of “jumping jehovah set” but not this one

[@phranco5310]

this is hilarious, a family friend who used to be in the Canadian police force actually showed me this exact tape before. They found a copy in storage at the police station and him and all his buddies laughed their asses off watching it

[@NinjaSquid0208]

Damn I wish I coulda seen that

[@ianp7383]

*Detroit Urban Survival wants to know your location*

[@TheAHuman]

This video will always be my favorite JonTron video, the quality of the jokes is on a different level than all the others.

[@ashwinkelly2523]

Nothing is more like Christmas than edge based attacks

[@uncay2769]

ahhh yes the perfect combination

[@zaikolebolsh5724]

Slavery and birth control of entire humanoid races, thats the true meaning of christmas

[@Fvneral_moon]

@@zaikolebolsh5724 nah its edge based attacks i think

[@realname3538]

especially in the UK!

[@draconianwarking]

They ought to start selling holiday themed chainmail shirts :P

[@obergfamily9049]

The "Knife Culture" set was so elaborate it wasn't worth the some 8 second joke.

[@monolith253]

Jon is very dedicated

[@electricshield2184]

@@monolith253 KONO DIO DA

[@thespianmask8451]

Nah they just decided to film how they normally eat dinner every day. No biggie.

[@Batchall_Accepted]

Thats always kinda part of the joke to me though the amount of effort he puts into these 10-15 second throwaway bits

[@demi-femme4821]

This is JonTron you're talking about, there's at least one of those in each episode

[@oscardelarenta9647]

Police-Instructor Jon’s dialect is lowkey the funniest bit 😂 so on point!!

[@miyuruify]

Love those old documentary narrator voices. so nostalgic.

[@dumbassweeb5702]

“LADY TURN AROUND!!!!!” “Hail Satan!” “TURN AROUND!!!!!” *turns around with a knife, on knees, 50 feet away* *launches a nuke at the lady’s exact position*

[@frostwickedpaw2218]

Gatling gun, assault rifle with drum mags, grenade launcher, home made pipe bomb, acid jars, etc.... But nuke ...a bit excessive

[@robertcapestany6019]

@shameless furry Weird? Not really. Weard? Absolutely.

[@lovaszaron3138]

@@frostwickedpaw2218 Okay, then a mini-nuke.

[@incog2532]

TACTICAL NUKE INCOMING!!!!!

[@fatmonke4774]

SMENS

[@Benthium]

JonTron: Does this man just have a Claymore sitting in the corner of his house? Also Jontron: Has a sword right next to him in Real Ghosts

[@joshuac.402]

thats some modern warfare level stuff

[@SpikeJet2736]

You never know when Jason Voorhees might show up

[@zom8680]

Jon mentions claymore and I'm looking for a corner mine. Goddam COD

[@zacross8504]

remember that time he was attacked by the scissor man? That’s why he keeps them around

[@SpikeJet2736]

@@zacross8504 gasp... not the scissor man

[@carlwhy]

Being a cook, I was irrationally infuriated during the knife culture skit that absolutely everything was overcooked.

[@codkiller2025]

We're one minute in and Santa is shanking kids. God I love this channel

[@shyre836]

"British" "Mike" "Mike" "Not Mike" "Industrial Light and Magic" "Potential Threat" Ah, yes, stunning cast list you have here, Mr. Tron

[@wallacefws]

Don't forget Dead Meme

[@TheNameCannotBeFound]

I fucking lost it at potential threat

[@craftgaming7079]

jonathan aryan jafari very nice list yes

[@andy119898]

I love potential threat Guy, he was the cave man in Turducken, What's his name by the way

[@Hoodied]

@@andy119898 He's been in quite a lot of Jontron videos as of late, he has a real deadpan vibe and seems kind of cool, dk what his name or what he does in the jontron team though

[@Generik97]

6:06 "If you don't get him on the first shot, you've always got four more" *ejects round in chamber*

[@TheKurtkapan34]

'I have 57 more rounds in this 4 round magazine'

[@jbrooks124]

@@TheKurtkapan34 A Gus Johnson quote on a Jontron video? Awesome!!

[@calebnorth35]

Same as ace here

[@Damian_1989]

Is there a specific police accent, or a reference i'm not getting? The way he says to stay CAHM before approaching the BAHDDIE

[@jbrooks124]

@@Damian_1989 the training video is Canadian, so he's trying to do a Canadian accent when playing the cop.

[@pengmaeda9908]

Everyone: "Why do police officers always seem so on edge and trigger happy?" Training Videos: "BEWARE OF THE COMMON PEN KNIFER! THEY ARE EVERYWHERE HIDING IN THE SHADOWS JUST WAITING TO ATTACK! FEAR! FEAR! FEAR! FEAR!"

[@BurningAzure]

6:43-6:53, The chronicle.of a Type Moon fan.

[@he8598]

It's been 2 months, I'm starting to think Jons fallen to an edge based attack.

[@jameslew2804]

Lol

[@nichl474]

"Jons" How many Jons are you talking about?

[@WellCookedPotatoes]

Nichl Every jon tron video that we see is just a look at each alternate dimension that Jon exists in

[@zacross8504]

No he was SMENS’d S - Shoot M - E - N - S -

[@lantern_logic9676]

@@zacross8504 D - Dead???

[@unknownspectator5925]

Guy at airport disguises butterfly knife as two pen Airport security and John: HE JUST KILLED THE MAN WITH PENS!!!

[@clamdove3292]

misread pens as penis

[@rameynoodles152]

Should've used SMPENS...

[@morganpickering4804]

He must be John Wick or somethin'.

[@sephiroth8217]

I have a banana decal on one of my balisongs.

[@Warhawk-dz2gt]

Sounds like a success to me

[@martinnoreallymartin3661]

This is.... 4 years old....

[@bear1050]

And Dollar Shave Club is even older..

[@LordMcdonald]

Please don’t remind me, I’m 19 but the last 3 years have made me feel way older😢

[@naughtiusmaximus789]

I love edging to my weapons!

[@user-ko2qr3dg8z]

I love how quickly Jon turns on James Phillips for no reason at all 😂

[@viktortzarofthexbox2987]

“The emo kid came at me with his edgy my little pony OC! I’m sure glad I knew how to repel his edge based attack!” -some police officer probably

[@TheLangenator]

“So I shot him”

[@theunderlyinghaterlol7]

"Not my fault! He knocked my donut out of my hand, if I say anything, he deserved it!"

[@a-astudios116]

This is underrated XD

[@Bronyunitchangelings]

So anyways, I started blasting

[@commanderdemonno9819]

oh my god

[@GregorianChatter]

Theory: Jon knew that 2020 was gonna be bad so he's now hiding in his 200 floored bunker made entirely out of flex tape and turduken.

[@samurexatlas7373]

You... You where right on.

[@GregorianChatter]

@@samurexatlas7373 yea, I'm actually scared.

[@shadowldrago]

@@GregorianChatter Are you secrely psychic or something?

[@DanielAlves-xe4om]

@@shadowldrago hes a better physic than that lady on the goop show

[@arlind5590]

qui?

[@ethanhill5973]

am i the only one that noticed that the airport guy at 8:33 had a butterfly knife with handles that look like pens

[@FloodlightGamingReal]

No

[@roccotaco1843]

Bro the cop literally says take the pens out

[@RustoKomuska]

That part where Jon writes a parking ticket was the best

[@Superchicken_36]

2 months since Jon uploaded. Everyone: I don't like where this is going.

[@sentinellj]

I understood that reference

[@brodieredwine7846]

I think he uploads a certain amount each year and then waits awhile before he starts to upload again

[@MaxFalange]

he got married

[@GamingWithHajimemes]

hes gone back to his cave to feed Jacques and he'll come back when he needs money for more food.

[@Kaptain.K.F00L]

It might be because he got married and is spending time with his wife.

[@JustaSimplefact]

My best friend and mentor got stabbed by 27 knives taped together.... He described the the experience as if he was being stabbed by 14 knives at once... I guess.. at a certain point... the effects stop stacking...

[@Darca1n]

probably hit diminishing returns at some point, gotta keep it from being too op.

[@trashremade1792]

The developers better fix this bug

[@Bbeaucha88]

14 knives is the commonly establish upper limit on taping knives together. After 14 that's when need to start taping bees (or hornets if you want to be environmentally conscious) to the weapon.

[@JustaSimplefact]

UPDATE: That has been determined to be correct. Apparently, a sliding scale has been agreed upon. When the number of improvised sharp objects surpasses 14, the damage of each additional sharp object is based on the defense rating of the armor worn by the character being attacked as well as that characters combat rating.

[@bobybimberbod8500]

the limit on how many damage ticks can occur simultaneously is 14 this means that duration weapons like chainsaws or a weapon that applies status effects like a rusty chainsaw can get around this

[@J___0926]

It breaks me every time when he tries swinging his candy cane at the glass of milk and misses the first swing😂😂

[@edgusmus7882]

Ah, perfect, the best christmas video to both fire up the holiday spirit and survive santa

[@nonamea9177]

Nothing like watching a Christmas special in august

[@atomsea03]

@No name A You know it mah dood

[@mreggsandham]

tru dat

[@mrwheeljack7274]

Me too

[@DragonSword227]

Same here.

[@jameslew2804]

@Peter Caballero JonTron's videos have so much replay value

[@pixelbucket8884]

It's a little funny knowing that someone in JonTron's editing team now has "angry asian baby" and "knife png" in their search history.

[@user-hh3wr8wh9x]

Oh my God, is Jontron on hiatus again? I swear this man is like Hunter x Hunter

[@ZaJaClt]

production value is amazing

[@m4d_b0t88]

I'm laughing at this too much this is so funny you're a comedy genius!!!!! Also I think those 2 pictures are in the files of the potential threat.

[@Mr.Mousey]

I think for THOSE kinds of searches you would be using private browser

[@rainbowsparkle122]

@@user-hh3wr8wh9x trust me being a long time jontron fan it dosnt surprise me anymore it's probably going to be about a year till he returns

[@AmaticXLII]

"THE BEST POLICE TRAINING FILM EVER MADE!" (Has a four star rating)

[@nebulawolf4285]

edge based attacks sounds like another term for what a quiet kid would do

[@shyre836]

"a baseball cap with razor blades sewn to the back" S P E E D O W A G O N - S A N

[@sonnymartin9536]

*M R J O E S T A R*

[@stephenuchiha6430]

Oh! That’s a baseball!

[@TheRealAeternum]

*ZA WARUDO!*

[@herm2.o347]

"Oh you're approaching me?"

[@TheRealAeternum]

@@herm2.o347 "I can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer"

[@fortissears5388]

It's funny how the whole thing talks about "edge-based attacks", but it's mostly worried about you getting STABBED.

[@jaidenschallhorn8009]

The guy in the metal detector unironically executed the most badass kill in recent memory

[@jordantheoneandonly3880]

I like how Jon credited himself as “dead meme” at the end

[@karamkaakaji6036]

b r i t i s h m i k e m i k e n o t m i k e

[@Doltern_]

or the crazy looking guy as a potential threat

[@jogos4ever801]

ｉｎｄｕｓｔｒｉａｌ　ｌｉｇｈｔ　ａｎｄ　ｍａｇｉｃ

[@mynewaccount2361]

Hey, you watched the fucking video too?

[@unrelentingawesomeness7501]

Crazy how I saw that too 😂🤪

[@kieranhj8759]

Little Child: “Santa, I knew your were real!” Santa: “Shhhh, no witnesses.” *Bang*

[@spongboobman5860]

That's Brandon Bowen Nice

[@krm1930]

Nice TomSka reference

[@icantfindagoodytname6667]

*Santa to his little elf workers in the lift before he leaves to go on his sley* "Remember, no production" *cocks rifle*

[@mrdororo684]

Then wood chipper

[@whitenoise1119]

Tomska ftw

[@xavierjohn495]

Evaluate part of smens is my favorite Jon tron segment of all time that face he makes is just perfect, and the casual “yeah I shot him” kills me evrrytine

[@thecreeperking4613]

You little bastards! I'll show you the true meaning of charismas *Pulls out nunchucks* That still gets me 🤣

[@RealCoolstriker64]

“Potential threat” “British” “Dead meme” best credits. I m ded

[@Sonichero151]

The British was the most important cast member

[@MikeLezamaOro]

Don't forget Mike tho

[@ImmaLittlePip]

@@MikeLezamaOro Hey I'm mike And I'm not so mike

[@ghw1985]

as a mike this is accurate, always Mike A and Mike B

[@trentcannell8768]

This is so funny, my dad watched this exact video for his training as a security guard back in the late 80'early 90's

[@thegrimcritic5494]

9:38 The “Hail Satan” bit makes me lose it every time, I swear.

[@xxXrainburnsXxx]

“And when the world needed him most, he disappeared...”

[@aklato7258]

*vanished

[@unstable875]

and then he came back eventually

[@earthchansociety7769]

L like Filthy Frank

[@trinirascal1358]

@@aklato7258 it means the same thing

[@aklato7258]

@@trinirascal1358 it was a reference tho, they were quoting so I corrected them

[@jameslegglue6182]

I'm almost confident that Jon just goes down to a local thrift store and looks through the vhss to see what he can make a video of

[@erictiedemann4797]

And yet it keeps bringing us back

[@apassionatenerd.3564]

@The Johnnie Walker good, Jon's 10x funnier that 3 bros and a sex offender or whatever that channel was called.

[@Battouga]

@@apassionatenerd.3564 Haha did they shit all over your favourite movie or something? The only one giving off weird vibes here is you. Sarcasm is hard to understand for those on the spectrum and Jon's humour is more literal.

[@medicalcal]

@@Battouga :D are you also on the spectrum?

[@alcoholic2652]

@@apassionatenerd.3564 You are touched in the head.

[@scaredandconfused]

12:35 This entire credits scene had me choking on air