Steven Seagal's WORST MOVIE???

[@lonecycle4849]

A cross between Das Boot and The Thing and he blew it? Damn it, Seagal. I would have love to see... Das Thing.

[@francisburns281]

Awesome comment, literal lol.

[@fermentedpenny5264]

😆

[@seaoftranquility7228]

Or even The Boot.

[@TemperedMedia]

@@seaoftranquility7228 Yeah, I wish they had given Seagal The Boot.

[@michaelcortez1531]

WOW. Just WOW.

[@ans1605]

Loved the alien skit. Really getting more and more creative.

[@STho205]

JP Sears used the same alien animation last week. Both were very funny. "....I'm not though." Great comic timing

[@benjaminolson7206]

@Jasonificatiation Lot's of reviewers do skits. What makes Mark stand out is his skits are actually good (both in writing and performance, and often in production value). Definitely unusual for KZbin.

[@limlaith]

How, _how_ are Mark's computer effects _so much better_ than the movie's??

[@Justin_L_Smith_]

#AlienMark

[@STho205]

@@craigforrest6548 right off Erika in the Goldbergs....."Does it!?"

[@nicks1451]

Steven Seagal saying he doesn’t want submarines or aliens in a submarine alien movie has the same energy as someone who asks the bartender to make him a screwdriver without orange juice or ice cubes.

[@TheCatBilbo]

Um, wait...that would be vodka. And a glass. But then Seagal would probably phone & say that he doesn't like glass, or objects made of glass - or glasses. So...vodka poured on the bar...

[@baerdred]

And the end result is the bartender going into the back and slapping a screwdriver from his toolbox onto the the bar.

[@IoEstasCedonta]

At least that's a beverage.

[@nicks1451]

@@TheCatBilboor pour vodka straight into his mouth, which is probably step one in his writing process

[@makeitthrough_]

I wonder who the bigger diva is between Steven Segal and Hulk Hogan

[@alexshayatovich8722]

We need a Alien Mark show.

[@DariaMorgandoffer]

Totally agree..Never knew Mark's voice would sound so normal coming out a Alien mouth...

[@Germandemza]

We definitely need that spin-off.

[@thesame4076]

@@DariaMorgandoffer you are just used to seeing an alien voice coming from Marks mouth.

[@meghanphillips3495]

Would watch

[@TemperedMedia]

You know, I couldn't help but think his voice really pulled it off here.

[@mareikemars4137]

"I should have quit but I needed the money" = every person involved in a Steven Seagal movie. Thank you so much Mark for the upload and all the effort you put in every video !!!

[@Frankie2012channel]

LOL well at least he got paid. I've suffered on B movie sets and had all of my work ruined or changed at the last minute and even then, their checks bounced :( So now you know.

[@heavenandhellcat8054]

Producer: Sir I understand you’re desperate. But are you Steven Seagal desperate? Director:…unfortunately Producer: Great! In six months time I will have an excellent tax write off

[@jamesblahut5008]

I needed the money.... So that I could buy powerful drugs.

[@phantasm8180]

🤣👉

[@Blueskybuffalo]

Secret knock when they can see him through the window is next level 😂

[@wildman2012]

Knock-wurst!

[@samholdsworth420]

🤡🚪👀

[@Jaxxxz1356]

I feel that you could splice 10 of his recent movies into one and wouldn't even notice

[@emmakelley5371]

Add a scene to describe his binge eating disorder so we don't notice him cultivating mass

[@Alex-cw3rz]

I feel sorry for everyone who worked on production they were all ready for a submarine monster movie. They probably thought of great idea, shots and sets they will have built, they'll have monster designs, possibly even costumes and then some actor who pooped himself when he got beat up by his own stunt man, makes you change everything.

[@kenrickeason]

If I couldn't fire him I would have tried everything to make him quit by sticking to the original script.. I would have took a chance on an unknown actor who would have did my vision justice.. Who knows?! The movie may have blown up big with the unknown actor instead of being a disaster with a known a-hole of an actor..

[@brucecampbellschin8632]

Bruce Campbell would've done it. Replace Steven Seagal with him for all his movies and you'd have gold.

[@DamnedSilly]

@@brucecampbellschin8632 You kidding? If they had Bruce Campbell money they'd never have hired Segal to begin with.

[@Necrowolf81]

@@kenrickeason Vinnie could have carried the original idea (at least better than Steven). They should have secretly made him the main character without Steven knowing

[@kenrickeason]

@@Necrowolf81 🤔🤔🤔 You got a point.. and I agree..

[@TheRealJabbergeist]

Three hours before this episode was to begin filming, Mark phoned himself and said, "I've decided I don't like bad movies and I don't like Steven Seagal, even ironically. I don't want to review a Steven Seagal movie." Mark told him to suck it up because he knew the script was gold. There was a short Dr. Strangelove-style struggle, which ended in a draw. The result is what you see before you.

[@GamesFromSpace]

Originally, it was written to be a porno.

[@GoADHDGo]

I thought a video about Steven Seagal’s worst movie would include every single Steven Seagal movie.

[@jamesbest9038]

The Under Siege movies are objectively good.

[@IsmailofeRegime]

IMO his filmography from 1988-1997 is reasonably entertaining for those not expecting masterpieces. 2003 (when he starred in "The Foreigner" and "Out for a Kill") feels like a turning point where the bulk of his films start becoming just plain bad and he comes across as only interested in cashing checks.

[@Sixstringman]

I for one really like Tommy Lee Jones in Under Siege.

[@DamnedSilly]

@@jamesbest9038 Well, one of them is objectively good... for a schlocky 'B' movie with a terrible climactic fight at the end... because Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey were in it...

[@paulp4201]

​@@jamesbest9038The first one was okay - the second one was mind bogglingly stupid.

[@KidFresh71]

The concept of a survival movie set on a submarine vs. aliens actually sounds pretty cool, at least for a direct to video popcorn flick. The director deserved to work with better talent. I'm sure there are 10,000+ up and coming charismatic actors (with some experience in martial arts) who could've done better than Segal.

[@Necrowolf81]

they probably could have got Mark Dacascos to do it. Not anywhere near as well known but a better actor. My cousin has met him and his father and said they were both really nice

[@Poglavnit_Pferdefuhrer]

I don't understand why Dacascos can't get any work. There's like a space of eight months where he worked with some decently big names, *and then just stopped*

[@Dan-di9jd]

All of Seagal's movies follow a similar plot where he goes in someplace, claims a lot of innocent victims effortlessly, then in the end, some grand plot twist that invalidates all he did and we find out he did it all for no reason whatsoever. You can't really do that with aliens on a sub unless they can somehow show that the aliens had good intentions like holding the cure for cancer and they were attempting to hand it over but Seagal is there to put a stop to it and whatever families that alien has.

[@BifMcAwesome]

On the plus side he can just retitle the script and actually use it. "Actually Submerged This Time, with 100 per cent less Segal."

[@ericseitzler81]

The reason they had to change the script at the last minute is because segal "accidentally"ate the original one.

[@SafetyRabbit]

Seagal truly is a philosopher. He teaches us that a barrel can still be a barrel when it's all bottom. Inspiring stuff.

[@ExMachina70]

Neil Breen and Steven Seagal really need to work on a movie together.

[@DeetotheDubs]

As long as they both act and Uwe Boll directs. Their writing huddles would be stuff of legend.

[@TheCatBilbo]

No, no, no! Are you INSANE?! Doing that would lead to the Universe imploding, definitely. You can't even have them both in your mind at the same time - it's too much of a risk...

[@lucariothehorrorguy5641]

Neil Breen wouldn't accept it; Seagal is just way too painful to work with. So the only one who can work with him is Seagal himself.

[@ExMachina70]

@@lucariothehorrorguy5641 I don't even think Seagal likes working with himself.

[@LoganHunter82]

​@@lucariothehorrorguy5641 I've heard that Neil is actually really respectful towards the other actors on the set.

[@wildman2012]

Seagal's worst movie? Wow, that's a tough one to narrow down! SO much to choose from!

[@brianmeen2158]

Seagel turned into a goof but Marked for Death is pretty good

[@herculesbrofister265]

i think under siege is literally the only movie he's made that has a positive rotten tomatoes rating. i like that and 2, they're his only ones i like. "a gigabyte of RAM should do the trick" hahaha.

[@bensneb360]

This is not his worst film, for one thing, he stands in a lot of it lol

[@Rosko311]

Well actually I think most of the standing was done by his body double. 😆

[@Gotham_Outlaw]

The second i saw this was about Steven Seagull i knew this was gonna be HILARIOUS

[@trtaylor29]

I've waited my whole life to see Stephen Seagal walk slowly down a hallway, in chains.

[@DamnedSilly]

Me too! Wait, I was thinking of another bloated, bad actor with an unbelievable hairline who thinks he's entitled to change the script on the fly... Can't remember his name but for some reason I just keep thinking about the color orange.

[@mattpenn9079]

One wonders how Steven might have done all of these movies and the secret to that sauce is his movies are roughly 90% stunt double.

[@PoopaChallupa]

That ends the eternal debate of which is his worst film. This man has figured it out. Well done, sir!

[@toweypat]

The worst Seagal movie is the last one you watched.

[@kungfew1396]

I'd rather watch a Snuggie infomercial marathon than watch another Steven Seagal movie.

[@contractzero1194]

​@@kungfew1396liar

[@UniverseofDominion]

I vote Mark puts himself through a week-long Seagal movie bender, records his fall into insanity, then edits it into a comedic masterpiece for us to enjoy.

[@flaccidego4291]

U r depraved & sadistic. Did u work as a henchman for the Nazis in a previous life?

[@rachelaries7240]

The alien at the end was brilliant!!

[@davidhouston6475]

A Steven Seagal movie an exercise in bloated narcissism.

[@ericseitzler81]

Naw it's not bc segal would NEVER exercise.

[@requinremembers]

lol @@ericseitzler81

[@Necrowolf81]

@@ericseitzler81 ROTFL

[@evenstoats2639]

That, with a strong whiff of money laundering.

[@umbrellacorp.]

I heard actors and actresses say Steven Seagal is impossible to work with.

[@wildman2012]

SNL cast members say he was the very worst host they have ever had on the show.

[@DavidLLambertmobile]

Actor & writer John Leguizamo wrote about what a a-hole on set he was. Punched him hard 🥊 in the chest. Kelly LeBrock had serious issues with him too.

[@lucariothehorrorguy5641]

He hurt someone in Executive Decision if i remember correctly. Exit Wounds too.

[@rezaqalam482]

Seagal is like klaus kinski but fat&lazy

[@beowulf1417]

I love your insert scenes because for a one man show you put in genuine effort to get colour and lighting decently matched, something that can't be said for most major productions nowadays considering their available resources/budgets.

[@diegobareno5820]

When I saw the title I was like “I hope it isn’t Out For Justice”

[@DrWolfenstein313]

Whatever happens on the screen is never as interesting as what happens behind the scenes with Seagal. A living comedy show.

[@samkupper]

Steven Seagals acting is a mix of him larping as a 50s greaser, a stereotype of a 1990s black rapper, an Asian Man, & fake underground discounted crime boss who is secretly a philosopher ... all mixed into one mess.

[@timdelia4609]

I think every SS movie needs a 20 minute montage of him running. Just the weirdest running style I have ever seen. In Under Siege, there is a scene with bullets flying everywhere, the phone on a desk rings, Erika Eleniak answers the phone and says, "he cant come to the phone right now, he is in a gun fight." Just classic!

[@toupac3195]

I wish I knew office chair-kwon-do. The office life is brutal.

[@steveblake3141]

Love the scenes where Mark edits himself into the film to riff on it. Would love a movie where he cuts together the entire thing out of old movies and edits himself in as the main character, like some kind of monster mash Mary-Sue parody.

[@kenrickeason]

If Steven Seagal and Samurai Cop made a movie together it would be the most hilarious thing ever 😂😂😂 Edited: Steven Seagal was trying to do a Southern Black American Accent (South of the United States) even though he's from Michigan (Midwest of the United States)😂😂😂😂

[@dlb83082]

Thanks for all the laughs through the years Mark - You are weird and hilarious (don't change dude)

[@juanl7766]

The “blood bank” line is genuinely awesome and no one will EVER convince me otherwise! 😂

[@jesterdk]

Wonderful video as always! Great to see Seagal back, too. All your vids are great, but it's a good little break-away from those super-retro ones, too! ...also, I may have thrown this one out at you at some point before, but I feel like I have to recommend a 2001 movie called "Choke" to you! It has Michael Madsen and Dennis Hopper in it together, and nobody's really heard of it at all. Terrible, disjointed, hilarious, all at once. And super unknown -- I strangely got more info on it from a youtube trailer comment section of it than anywhere else, before checking IMDB and realizing that the youtube channel belongs to the writer/director (John Sjogren), and he was leaving all those replies under the trailer. No obligation of course! Keep up the awesome work regardless - your channel is some of the best entertainment around! Positive Vibes!

[@glorygloryholeallelujah]

Could you even imagine a Seagal/Breen crossover movie? Or better yet….a Seagal/Breen/Groo trifecta?!?!😂❤

[@DanielThureskog]

You can also add Scott Shaw, if you want some "Zen-filmmaking".

[@glorygloryholeallelujah]

@@DanielThureskog oof, I don’t know… I don’t think the world is ready to see every scene with Seagal/Bree/Groo repeated 5-6 times in a row. The world has not reached a high enough plateau of artistic appreciation yet. 🤣❤️

[@theycallmepiccolo9985]

Don't you just love it when youtube doesn't recommend you videos from a channel in years and randomly decides to show you the content.

[@lgb4]

Mark's editing of the other actors to react and respond to his inserts has become masterful.

[@alastor461]

I really enjoyed that ending sequence! That was awesome! I won't spoil it, but it was great

[@heyitsvos]

Dude your integration into the scene at 6:47 was seemless 🤣. I legit didn't realize it was you for a second or two 👏

[@mr.pavone9719]

10:48 It'd be hilarious if Segal made a movie but they completely dubbed over all of his lines with a competent voice actor.

[@lightsabermetrics]

From IMDB: Submerged (2005) "When told it was a "movie about subs", Seagal excitedly signed on without reading the script. After arriving on set and learning that it was about submarines and not sub sandwiches, Seagal spent the day fuming in his trailer" Now I want to see the movie Seagal had originally envisioned before he read the actual script. It could have been an action thriller set in the world of competitive eating.

[@shahidhamid962]

@1.17 " But that would make sense " , I was eating grapes and almost chocked on them after hearing that .

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

LOL did not expect that alien skit at the end, nice mocap!

[@toweypat]

Making fun of Steven Seagal movies is a crowded field, but I think you're up for it!

[@jjun2891]

wtf, that end credit alien looked really good

[@Hesguilty]

That bit at the end was better than anything from the actual movie. 😅

[@michaelbreidenbach2834]

Mad respect for the grey alien bit at the end of the video. Probably not good enough for a 100.000.000 $ yet, but damn, it was impressively expressive. Well done.👍

[@guansta96]

I don't know if you've heard this but Steven Seagal has a music album called "Songs from the crystal cave". The song I'd recommend is Strut where he raps... It is gold 😂

[@ImmortalComposer]

Nice alien skit XD Do more :D

[@CC-vDog]

This video proves one thing. Mark would absolutely rock doing character voice-overs!

[@treyliles117]

Okay i want to see a behind the scenes of how you pulled off the alien skit

[@fabricioestevam6297]

Steven Seagal is every screenwriter's worst nightmare.

[@robmcdonald6808]

I can say there is one redeeming quality to this movie. The alien at the end acted circles around Seagal and the effects were 100x better than that in the movie

[@KainZ7]

rejoice fellow Seagallians!

[@93notchback]

I literally use the "Welcome to the Bank, the Blood Bank" quote on my teenage sons all the time. Love it!

[@m.p.6039]

You've got to admire a man who works so hard to laundry the money of the Russian mafia.

[@BenMurphy-go2ks]

Submerged was the first Seagal movie I saw, and it still is my favourite for how incomprehensible and comically bad large parts are.

[@nickdirienzo2849]

Great job on the alien bit, your expressions were captured perfectly!😲 If only you could throw some of that money at less shitty credits music...

[@brandigarza5319]

I would definitely see a movie with you playing the alien! Too funny lmao

[@011keepers]

I've seen this on several channels, and somehow each of these covers different parts of this movie brilliantly and hilarious..

[@eldorta]

"I don't want to be in a monster movie." If I well remember, he wanted to be in Predator 2. The role went to Danny Glover. Stevie went bananas.

[@PatrickCraig-lh5is]

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. Suddenly Mark was there, giving sage advice and encouragement. Not sure how you got there or even how you left, but thanks, Mark.

[@Sayyyten]

Who tricked Vinnie Jones into being in this? Also if he called me with all those changes, it would have been time to call Van Damme.

[@finnelmcdonagh3789]

OMG the alien at the end!! That was some awesome stuff. I want more of Alien Mark 😀Fantastic video as usual.

[@Bishop228]

Haha I’ve been waiting for you to do a Seagal movie. I grew up watching all his horrible movies as a kid in the 90s. Even back then I knew what a dumpster fire I was witnessing

[@neilsun2521]

I was thinking surely it's gotta be 'On Deadly Ground', but then I haven't seen any of his post-90s films...

[@elorko28]

Why the hell did the director want this has-been in his movie 🤦‍♂️

[@IsmailofeRegime]

Yeah by the time filming started in 2004 Seagal's reputation had been reduced to a punchline. Surely there was some other actor who'd be willing? Hell, even Chuck Norris could have been a more dignified choice.

[@rachels6808]

8:45 The patronizing is killing me!!😂😂

[@thisoldetruck278]

Hey Mark. They alien seen at the end was Brilliant 😅🤣😂

[@NathanTarantlawriter]

One of the many hilarious things about Seagulls movies is the swagger. It seems like all the tough guys assume a swagger that gets pretty ridiculous if you turn the sound off and watch them move. It makes seagull look even more ridiculous.

[@hawker7488]

You spelled 'waddle' wrong.

[@NathanTarantlawriter]

@@hawker7488 I stand (or sit) corrected. But it's not just him. It's every lil' tuffie in the movie does this to some extent.

[@eddstarr2185]

Hey Mark, Steven Seagal should be the new Chief Executive Officer of The Walt Disney Company. I'll make popcorn for everybody!

[@Kroggnagch]

I imagine Seagal was like, psychin’ himself up like “it’s ok, it’s just a monster. Or an alien. On a submarine. You can do this and also totally aren’t obese.” Then after waking in the middle of the night with cold sweats and flashes of his nightmare: submerged, aboard the submarine while an ambiguous menacing form peruses him... He then decides that he just can not do it, because monsters are super scary. Calls. Changes the whole plot...

[@Martinroadsguy]

"I don't want to be in a monster movie." There seems to be something pathological about Seagal's obsession with playing the same character in dozens of indistinguishable movies without ever changing it up in the slightest bit. He probably felt threatened by the thought of a guy in an alien costume upstaging him.

[@varanid9]

So, a movie about aliens on a submarine turns into a land-based political thriller? WTF?? I hope the director gets to make the original film he wanted to. I'd love to see it.

[@daddydavey]

Can we convince Mark to make an alien movie? I'm buying the popcorn now! 🤓

[@MaddMango]

Your alien needs his own show.

[@bent3736]

OMG I never thought Mark would would do a straight to video era Segal flick. Is it a one off, or are the floodgates opening?

[@chinabluewho]

Is this actually where we are at when the low budget youtube shows have CGI monsters that are equal too if not better than big budget 90's films

[@Jasonx6000821]

Great review! Gotta say, my favorite part was you as the alien! HAHAHAHAH Funny and pretty cool looking. Love the cuts back to Segaal's face looking all pissy! Great job, Mark!

[@spectreandromedus8661]

This channel & Plainly Difficult have become my Saturday morning cartoons. That may say something about my psyche lol

[@mckill85]

"Walk" down the hallway?! Don't you mean waddle?

[@seanhuds229]

Whoa whoa whoa. I am a hitman, not some kind of assassin.

[@Outrider42]

Weird Humans With Alien Mark as host should be a recurring thing.

[@ExplosiveAction]

Submerged gets better with age like a.. not a fine wine, but maybe a punch left in the fridge for a week. His worst is Attack Force. In that one he DID film an alien movie, and in POST it was changed to being about drugs. Seagal didn't do ADR for the changed plot so they got someone else to do it. It makes no sense.

[@MrZooBreak]

LOL! What a hoot! This just keeps me laughing!

[@BadBrucey]

I used to own a surf shop on a lake too. For some reason the business didn't work out 😟

[@spankynater4242]

Today you die sounds like a troy McClure movie. Today you die, tomorrow you floss.

[@n1kolodian]

Imagine a movie similar to Paul, but instead of Seth Rogan, Mark is the alien. And the entire movie is about his escapades as an alien trying to survive after crashing into 1960's Hollywood; accidently killing Bela Lugosi in he process. He meets Ed Wood, and together make a terrible movie about aliens. Sort of replacing Ed's inspiration for Plan 9. The entire movie is laughed at by audience members for how terribly fake the sets and characters are; with Mark eventually even trying to reveal himself to the world as a real alien, only to be laughed at and not taken seriously. After which Mark and Ed split ways, cut to years later, and Mark is shown to have been working in Hollywood for years now, and in present day is portraying the alien in Neil Breen's I am here....now.

[@MG-do7yg]

Seagal and his movies are the discount version of Arnold's movies, it's so pitiful 😂... OMG That alien ending to your video was amazing!!!

[@ilikeito]

Loved your alien at the end.

[@DrMurdercock]

yes! Ive been stuck in bed for 2 days was almost finished watching these all again for the 10th time. Then, I see you uploaded!

[@Dan-di9jd]

You missed an excellent pun with that surfer dude. He's so unaware of his surroundings that he completely forgot that you can't surf on a lake with no waves. It's like he's the most suspcious and out of place person ever. Kind of like seeing Seagal in a anorexia facility. He'd be so out of place that if anything was going on he'd be prime suspect #1.

[@Germandemza]

If theres anyone from Uruguay reading this, please tell me about that little place called "El Diablo". Because I'm pretty sure it totally, 100% exists in real life. I wanna go visit. Great review as always, Mark.

[@freakyzed8467]

A Seagull movie that went straight to DVD? You mean the VAST bulk of his filmography?

[@TheLegionOfTheDamned.]

Steven Segal even uses stunt doubles for simple walking from one spot to another in his movies as well as using voice actors for multiple scenes.

[@SlapstickGenius23]

After all, he’s a pig whose stunt doubles deserve better than him!

[@Devious_Reviews]

I keep forgetting about him until someone cracks a joke (usually about his weight) and then it's lost to time/space again. The last movie I deliberately watched with him in it was _Exit Wounds_ in theater with _Under Siege_ the second last. That's only because cable companies _love_ airing that one like a marathon whether viewers like it or not. Just a casual glance though, because I haven't watched TV in 16 years.

[@tomcruze7898]

In like 2010, Con Air, Casino, and Under Siege 2 were played everyday for like 9 months.

[@Shindai]

There's only one thing I remember about this movie, and it's the only good part: where Vinnie Jones annihilates that sniper dude. Fuck me, what a beatdown. It's probably the only believable fight in a Seagal movie from the last 20 years :P

[@DOSkywalkR]

Hey Mark, great video 😁 just one thing, as a German: it's not "dus boot", as in how you pronounce it. It's "dus Boat". Somehow every English speaking person says "boot" - trust me, the movie is not about footwear or a British car trunk 😜

[@Wortmagie]

Most people don't know this, but Steven has actually never been in a written movie. What we call his movies are actually documenteries, shot between the scenes that were written for the movie. All these things happen for real in his life. And his life is so amazing that no movie could ever come close. So they never release the actual movie but let us be part of Stevens life. Most of the time he doesn't even know that there's a camera next to him.