Steven Wright Hilarious Moments On Conan

[@Marc-bz9ow]

Steven Wright is a comic genius

[@mattmays9063]

Facts

[@Talkitrhrough]

“As a child I had a quick sand box. I was an only child…eventually.”

[@markbarry9945]

"I have two very rare photographs, one of Houdini accidently locking himself out of his car, and the other of Norman Rockwell beating up a child."

[@onetrueslave]

I forgot about that one!!

[@markbarry9945]

@onetrueslave "I met a nymphomaniac and she told me she was only into Jewish Cowboys, when she asked me my name, I told her 'Bucky Goldstein'"

[@ward142]

@@onetrueslave I got a picture of Elvis on black velvet, that was the name of the horse in the western movie.

[@ToddWeiss-p6y]

“You know you can’t have everything … Where would you put it anyway ? “ Genius Steven

[@ziliknee]

❤

[@blackbird5634]

"Four years ago, no yesterday. Oh no that wasn't me.'' Steven Wright.

[@spooge33]

"I have the largest seashell collection, I keep it scattered on all the beaches in the world."

[@MLB9000]

"Maybe you've seen it"

[@taylor-t1y]

That pos is as funny as a frozen bootheel to the anus.

[@ronaldwilliams6927]

My apartment was robbed and replaced with exact replicas of what was stolen.lol

[@mcfcguvnors]

"You Broke my mind"

[@ballsnotrequired]

My fav

[@joelbeske1504]

His brain is in another dimension.

[@StrangeTalesYT]

Yeah, I wonder how he comes up with his jokes, especially the one about the camera 😂

[@SunAndMirror]

it IS another dimension

[@michaelireland7239]

fucking a duuba he is a comic genius

[@BillWilson-kd2jp]

"Comedy is a bunch of funny lies"

[@stevelandress]

I love when he made himself laugh with the butterfly bit.

[@FeatherC1]

"I intend to live forever, so far so good" -Steven Wright

[@scottcollins5060]

One of the very funniest comedians on the planet!!!

[@scottcollins5060]

Did you know that if your parents didn't have any children, that most likely you want either???

[@Zac-ls6hn]

I love Steven Wright but Norm MacDonald is the greatest comedian alive

[@scottcollins5060]

Even if you didn't serve, so many of the final.

[@carlcushmanhybels8159]

@@Zac-ls6hn Alive? I think not.

[@chasersr2452]

Planet?

[@Randycane5991]

The personality and the hair match , sometimes everything comes together perfect , funny dude

[@Juvefan68]

When the great Billy Connolly says this guy is the funniest man on the planet, that's the highest praise you can get

[@animaljustice7774]

I met billy one time. Great guy

[@greatodinsraven5114]

Great story.

[@rickyiglesias5384]

I feel like being friends with Steven Wright would be impossible hahaha. He'd be such a smartass all the time and you would never get a real honest talk out of him. hahaha love this dude.

[@onetrueslave]

But, you wouldn't wanna be friends with him.

[@rickyiglesias5384]

@@onetrueslave correct.

[@Rocksite1]

King of the surrealistic one-liners. It helps that Conan gets and enjoys his jokes. A few go uncomfortably dark. Still, a fave of mine. He'll start you off with two plausible things that just din't go together. "I had a friend who lived at a dead end at the end of a one-way street. Once you got there, you couldn't get out. He had a circular driveway. You just kept going around and around."

[@5kMagic]

“What’s another word for thesaurus?”

[@ward142]

I don't know! there is a lot of kinds of dinosaurs.

[@markbarry9945]

"if a word was misspelled in the dictionary, how would we know?"

[@kidwave1]

2 of my fav Steven Wright jokes, "I bought a cordless extension cord" lolol, and "I bought some powdered water but I dont know what to add to it"

[@ward142]

I bought some pampered milk once, it was too good for me.

[@KB-eo9bu]

Had a Dental Appointment Ate a Bag of Oreos before i went in! 😁🤣🤣

[@ward142]

Boy, that was a mouth full!

[@adamdesanti6713]

"We moved around a lot because my father thought he was in the military."

[@LowellUpchurch]

That had me in tears lol

[@realPenrodPooch]

I really loved that one. What made it more amazing was that this quote scrolled up under the video at the exact moment he was saying it. Perfection!

[@jcisme]

He would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

[@cthutu]

My fav is: "I bought second-hand paint - it was in the shape of a house"

[@MarkVance-r5d]

I always wished I could be a bird. Why? So you could fly? No. So my shit would be white.

[@cameronalexander359]

Thanks, they silenced that bit out and I had no idea what the gag was.

[@bender8784]

Not squishing a cocoon because he’s pro choice is a hilarious, laser level fast throwaway. This man’s brain is on another level

[@StrangeTalesYT]

That joke was genius 😂

[@keithpatrick156]

He must be proud to know that real-time animation has been achieved.

[@stevetseitz]

“A Scanner Darkly”?

[@lynnsbomb]

I got the honors of him making a guest appearance at the prince house of pizza in Saugus Ma. Me and my wife were actually talking about him and others on tbe way there to the comedy club and got lucky enough to see him perform. Always loved him.

[@robertschelly]

I saw a restaurant, the sign said "Breakfast Any Time." I went in and ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

[@n9wff]

I was pulled over for speeding. The cop told me the speed limit was 55 mph. I said, "I know but I wasn't going to be out that long."

[@JoeBrrFan]

Steven Wright was the first comedian I ever saw in person. Can't think of the name of the comedy club but it was near San Fran.. I had never even thought of going to a comedy club, but one night I was bored, and decided I would check it out. He was playing, never heard of him before.. I laughed so hard. I became addicted to comedy clubs. I must have seen over hundred different acts. Some made it big. Most didn't. But all were worth it. Thanks for the memories Steven. Lifesize map of the world. hahahah a

[@spaceo8568]

The Confucius of Comedy. "No matter what temperature a room is it's always room temperature" is one of my favorite. So many favorites. The man is a legend.

[@marshmangunnar9150]

It's the best when he cracks himself up

[@angrybaby3847]

"I had a friend who was a radio dj. We once went on a road trip and whenever we went under a bridge i couldn't hear him"

[@brandnewham]

This one slays me, lol.

[@tomharley7447]

He looks like a Mix of Christopher Lambert & Pauly Shore 😄

[@tinaanoles-cochran2552]

Pauly Shore isn't funny at all!

[@MrJohnr0214]

I see some Tim Conway in his face and facial expressions

[@sullywinn4225]

"She hung herself, and we thought she was a piñata." 😂💀😂💀

[@kevinluschak5241]

The man is in a world of his own.

[@DavidRTribble]

3:45 "It's my theory that the ending of the Cold War is what caused global warming."

[@ballsnotrequired]

Ahhha

[@justinsampson4999]

I remember the first time I heard him 40 something years ago, he said, a joke that hooked me instantly. "Why do dogs hate when you blow in their face, but love to put their heads out the window?

[@rustyking8783]

"I worked at a fire hydrant factory. We couldn't park anywhere near it."

[@JGunit]

"I don't hunt or anything, but butterflies are the only thing that I'll just kill" 😅

[@realPenrodPooch]

I love how under Steven Wright videos there's always a slew of jokes quoted in the Comments. I really only see that with Steven Wright and Rodney Dangerfield.

[@aic8326]

@@realPenrodPooch ......mitch hedberg RIP

[@realPenrodPooch]

@@aic8326 Yeah. But not nearly as many. But that's no shot at Mitch. If he had lived to progress in his career, I imagine there'd be a lot more jokes from him, and thus a lot more quotes.

[@aic8326]

@@realPenrodPooch lol every mitch hedberg video has quotes scattered throughout the comments in abundance

[@realPenrodPooch]

@@aic8326 He only has so many jokes for people to recite. Dangerfield and Wright had decades worth of material that people pull from.

[@bkfabs]

“ if you shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?”

[@tryingtotryistrying]

bringing a clip with kittens is ahead of it's time.

[@BluntedZephyr]

Steven Wright as a RCMP Officer in the movie Canadian Bacon. Better portrayal of a Canadian than even Dan Ackroyd's portrayal of an O.P.P Officer in same movie.

[@ronocnayr]

The other day I bought a pack of batteries, but they weren’t included - so I had to buy them again.

[@timleathley6387]

😂

[@ward142]

I bought a battery on the internet, and they sent the wrong battery, it was a Tesa car battery, so I buried it now every time it rains, my yard catches fire.

[@Basketfiller]

Thankyou for this, great compilation.

[@StrangeTalesYT]

Thank you! Part 2 of this coming soon 🎉

[@edcctf]

I had some powdered water. I didn’t know what to add.

[@ward142]

I bought some powdered water, I added water, and got twice the water I had added!

[@TheJunehog]

The guy is a living Zen koan.

[@randomdude189]

He’s so damn funny

[@MarkVance-r5d]

I have a cd burner. It’s a fireplace.

[@TresLanes]

They say practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect. So i stopped practicing.

[@bradstephan7886]

Conan was the perfect host for Steven Wright.

[@RLonHubbard]

Would love to have seen a debate between Stephen Wright, and Norm McDonald

[@Kevin-v6m]

That would be so excellent! Hahaha

[@raradis]

Somehow we find everything he says logical, but his logic is way beyond ours. That's how probably geniuses work. :) Thanks for the compilation. This makes me miss Norm..

[@StrangeTalesYT]

Agreed Thanks for watching

[@lauralovell9473]

I would have loved to have seen him and Norm go back and forth.

[@chasscollard4254]

Norm was the master of the non sequitur.

[@AIRBRUSHGARAGE]

“The Indy 500… if they left sooner, they wouldn’t have to drive do fast!”

[@gerryboudreaultboudreault2608]

Remember the old sitcom "Becker"?(Ted Danson). Wright appeared frequently as a neurotic patient.

[@thetweakjunkie1576]

24 Hr banking? I don't have time for that.

[@thavith]

So, Steven Wright started the whole "cat video" thing...

[@melancholymoshpit]

If Steven Wright ever meets Theo Von I can only pray that the fabric of space time will be able to remain stable.

[@caryd67]

“Yesterday I went to a garage sale and bought a cordless extension cord.”

[@rgflint]

One of greatest. Most unique way of telling jokes

[@MarkVance-r5d]

I went to the store to buy a quart of milk. When I got to the cashier, I said, “Hello. How are you?” She said, “Is that all?” I said, “No. I’d like to buy this.”

[@ward142]

One time I got caught in a downpour on the way into a restaurant, the cashier ask if it was raining, I said no, I sweat a lot!

[@ward142]

When I bought a quart of milk the cashier asked if I wanted it in a bag, I said no! Just leave it in the jug.

[@billhobbs7077]

we moved a lot because my father thought he was in the military??? straight up comedy genius

[@mikeplantagenet2983]

40 years ago, I thought you were weird but hilarious. '- ; # Nothing has changed except my punctuation . And that is just the way we should be. Never give up man! 🤣🤣🤣

[@blakewilliams3702]

I love seeing him get tickled himself! Too funny.

[@placebojesus5652]

Steven Wright is like a wonderful blend of Andy Kaufman and Mitch Hedberg with some magical third element that I don’t know of anyone whom has. Maybe some OG deadpan comic like Buster Keaton or something lol.

[@placebojesus5652]

How is this guy not considered along the Carlins and Pryors and Chappelles et al

[@peoplelikefrank]

@@placebojesus5652he isn’t?

[@josephhogarth6915]

He was in Half Baked with Chappelle.

[@icechingu]

Body of work. Those comedians have released a lot more material than Steven Wright has. I think When the Leaves Blow Away is comparable to any of their specials though, even Killing Them Softly.

[@ballsnotrequired]

Aww Mitch RIP

[@andyorr1597]

Eskimo Nell’s in Arlington, VA circa 1983. He blew our minds.

[@BRLaue]

I have a friend who is a dj. When we go through a tunnel, and he’s talking, you can’t hear him.

[@Matchhead79]

His unfinished jokes are the best

[@Zac-ls6hn]

If Steven wright i don't wanna be wrong

[@randallross420]

I love the guy on the couch

[@daveman439]

On writing music- I thought he was going to start with white noise.😅😅

[@kimspooner5464]

I put my key into the door of my apartment building and it started up. So I drove it around the neighborhood. I was stopped by the police. The cop asked me where I live, and I said here.

[@MitsuoRLCoach]

“My friend and I drove cross country so we split the driving we switched every half mile. The entire way we only one cassette to listen to……but I can’t remember what it was”

[@Michael-nc3ib]

Steven Wright is literally andy cauffman. His jokes is he can never tell when hes joking and telling the truth because of his dry dark humor. And it really looks like a joke made just for him because he gets to fuck with people all the time for a living and know one truely knows who you were.

[@DrTomoculus]

"the ending of the cold war, is what caused global warming." He doesn't know how right he is!!!

[@august_astrom]

That was actually a pretty clever pro-choice joke. Reminds me of the George Carlin joke, "if you're pre-born, you're fine; if you're pre-schooled, you're fucked!"

[@danielm.taddeo2186]

I needed that.

[@aic8326]

Fired from a pet store for braiding 3 snakes together, and shaving the rabbits and dipping them in boiling hot chocolate around easter...... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@oftenwrong.]

My father thought he was in the military

[@penguinista]

He is a special talent.

'The end of the cold war is what caused global warming; More truth in that joke than people might want to accept.

[@MarkMcCluney]

Hugely ahead of his time with the kittens...

[@StrangeTalesYT]

So true, I love that part too.

[@MarkMcCluney]

@@StrangeTalesYT I liked the clip with the cornflakes too. Paul Merton had a very similar (by which I mean exactly the same) bit on his show back in the late Eighties. I wonder...

[@j.kevvideoproductions.6463]

Cutting edge!

[@TalsBadKidney]

2:30 david foster wallace literally did this

[@animaljustice7774]

His bald spot and his hair. I can’t avoid looking at it

[@StrangeTalesYT]

Lol

[@charleswalters5284]

He wasn't bald. He just shaved the top of his head

[@jimbograves1576]

If your knees bent the other way, what would a chair look like?

[@charleswalters5284]

Kelly bundy

[@ToddWeiss-p6y]

I’m just glad Steven did not go Hollywood and take the easy part of Larry Fine… Steven is great !

[@fanficfan8599]

This guy makes me realize how normal I really am...

[@MrGarysugarman]

Larry Fine's grandson.

[@kevinbunn7915]

I'm for real like that with food. If I didn't have to eat I wouldn't

[@robertward5230]

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

[@ewajohansson8398]

Such fun😂

[@kariporter2975]

Ghosts are not all dead!! ALERT some ghosts are just visiting you BUT THEY STILL HAVE A BODY.

[@kariporter2975]

I am sorry, Stephen, I thought you were dead.

[@freewheelburning8834]

he should have been on Seinfeld

[@ExclusiveLM]

Steven always looks like he is wearing a disguise as part of his witnes protection plan. But that's just him. Disheveled and funny.

[@BillWilson-kd2jp]

I understand now why Steven wears a hat most of the time.... To keep the deep thoughts in.

[@ClintSlingerland]

Fucking guy is so funny love him so much ❤

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

I have a complete and fully operational replica model of the planet in its entirety. Unfortunately, it's actual size.

[@skepticon9390]

I much prefer the pairing of Steven Wright and Craig Ferguson on the Late Late Show. Ferguson had no problem following Wright down his trademark rabbit hole - often leaving Steven Wright laughing hardest of all.

[@ComaDave]

09:31 His face. 😂

[@StrangeTalesYT]

lol

[@sanjomona]

My style of comedy

[@Bill_Woo]

I used to take my dog for a walk around the building...

[@MitsuoRLCoach]

On the ledge

[@broncobilly4029]

What happened to Steven Wright? Anybody know? He's not in public anymore.