Stewart Lee - [2/2] Give It To Me Straight, Like Pear Cider That's Made From 100% Pears

A story assigning blame for his disillusionment as an adult and the best nervous breakdown I've ever seen.
PURE GENIUS from Stewart Lee's DVD - If You Prefer A Milder Comedian, Please Ask For One.

[@jf775]

Why is this routine split into two halves? I'd rather you give it to me straight, like a pear cider made from 100% pears.

[@tomarse99]

Because 9 years ago KZbin capped uploads to 10 minute segments

[@weswheel4834]

@@tomarse99 So really, Stuart Lee's fault for taking too long getting to the point? (and ironically, not giving it to us straight...)

[@isaakfoley1861]

@@tomarse99 that's not true whatsoever

[@Endeva09]

Ad revenue basically

[@dr.zacking2097]

Pear

[@Rich606]

I feel a bit bad watching this for free on KZbin...

[@neilonaniet]

You've let yourself go.

[@clivehaining9375]

Me too , love him though.

[@taffpatch1]

i dont its shit

[@allypoum]

Don't feel bad - YT/Google do very nicely & I'm sure Stew doesn't mind - it does promote his talent after all

[@Torthrodhel]

Buying stuff isn't how money works any more, it's not wrong to watch things for free at all. You're not taking money from anyone, because none of us can afford anything to begin with. Nobody lost a sale. If they wanna fix capitalism, then maybe I'll worry my morals about watching free stuff. Until then, screw it be realistic.

[@geoffyork2887]

"Digging up your fruit!", is a massively underrated line.

[@Jona8280]

yes!!!

[@daverage4729]

"Like captured partisans digging their own mass grave..." Christ, that was fantastic.

[@harpdevil]

Ohh the irony. Watching Stuart Lee talk about pirating his stand up on the internet on a pirated video on youtube. I felt bad and immediately ordered one of his dvds haha.

[@YourPalHDee]

Yeah, everything Lee does is dowsed in layers of irony as well. He stands there absolutely abusing his audience for who they are, and what sort of audience his comedy attracts, whilst there's no way most audiences could appreciate how funny that is.

[@bazzbazzley]

Probably the most inspired comic monologue ever...utter genius.

[@BrigadierBumCheeks]

"there is no need to film it mate, we have 8 cameras here" hahaha you can see when lee decides stop carrying on and deal with that. hahaha first class comic

[@ginivn01]

He wrote it and learned. And the bit where he says 'one massive pear' - wrote and learned. And the bit where he's going like blah-blah-blah ... - all's written down and learned.

[@its_me_dave]

Theatrical stand-up

[@Gvozd111]

@@ginivn01 that bloke is a plant

[@Joe90Production]

​@@Gvozd111 He's not a plant actually. I just googled it and there's a newspaper review of the gig, they assumed he was a plant too until they realised they actually knew the guy (he was a friend of the reviewers). Could be the reviewer is lying I suppose, I don't see what they have to gain though. It is a pre-planned response in a way though, it just happens often enough (someone pulling out their phone to film while he's wandering through the audience) that Lee has a whole perfectly executed response to it by this point in the tour. The first time it happened his response probably was shorter, more off the cuff and less of a 'moment' in the show, but he's done it 50 times by this point so it's fleshed out and honed to perfection. He's said himself that by the end of a tour the show is largely comprised of adlibs built up from previous performances.

[@tomfitzgerald4760]

Wonder if that guys mobile video is on here somewhere

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

Kamu-yamato Iware-biko no Mikoto, also known as Jimmun, first recoqnized Emperor of Japan in the 7th Century BC, had a dog called Kyo, which as we can see here has let itself go.

[@SidneyBroadshead]

"...DIGGING UP YOUR FRUIT." I love how wrong he deliberately gets it to make it clear that he's lying.

[@philipmalcolm4550]

Returning to the stage just to jump off again immediately. MWAH!

[@bimblebimbles7700]

I've only recently finally 'got' Stewart Lee's comedy, and this whole bit in particular has got me in hysterics. Just brilliant.

[@boogieeck]

It is unlike anything else i have ever seen

[@thetallpaul55555]

The bit about it being near the fucking end is such a perfect moment

[@MrKajjaGG]

His meltdown about UB40 was excellent.

[@ihavethepowerquery4718]

My meltdown about UB40 was also excellent. BUT THAT'S A COINCIDENCE.

[@Lexington365]

"Ohhhh they were from Birmingham weren't they?!"

[@garethmoors5193]

It's quite amazing how SL gets a good 40 minutes out of effectively just a single gag.

[@imamoronand9199]

I found this routine unbearable for that exact reason. he’s just repeating the same joke over and over, each time changing the details slightly. is that hilarious comedy, or is it lazy? I suppose if people laugh, it’s hilarious comedy, but I don’t rate it. at least when he does this in other routines, there’s some kind of social commentary or the joke is stronger, here it’s just a fairly weak meme-esque joke repeated x times

[@intraum]

@@imamoronand9199 fair enough, i can understand that. for me it's all in the delivery and his sputtering and starting etc. helps that it's filmed so we can see his proper full expressions also

[@louisrost]

@@imamoronand9199 I imagine you'd rather he kept to the point, and gave it to you straight, like a pear cider that's made from 100% pears.

[@onlyme219]

Master at his craft. He gives it to you straight like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[@HappyinJapan358]

What a legend! His comedy is gonna last for many generations. Genius stuff.

[@zaitesushion]

Saying "digging up your fruit" to a Glaswegian audience... I'm fucking dead right now.

[@zaitesushion]

***** It's about digging up potatoes, referring to the stereotype of Scottish people never eating fruit.

[@UnionGarside]

Thanks for giving it to me straight, like a pear cider that's made from 100% pears.

[@swanningabout]

pear

[@rogercantwell3622]

He goes full Brummie when he starts ranting, like a better-fed Jasper Carrott

[@Cyaneyed77]

I'm watching this 6 days after seeing Stewart live on the 'Content Provider' tour. Genuinely can't wait to relive the ending!

[@zenzombie72]

Plural of pear is pears. Unless you have two. Then you'd have a pair.

[@adamlee3333]

I think it depends on whether the ingredient in question is an established flavour entity in its own right within the culture e.g. mint, apple, pear, mango, kiwi, onion, grapefruit. For established flavours it's better to not pluralise e.g. ice cream with 100% coconut sounds better than 100% coconuts; as the plural nature is inherent. But for less established flavours (difficult to allocate) an energy bar made with 100% raisins sounds better than 100% raisin or a tapenade made with 100% olives sounds better than 100% olive. In common use, does the ingredient act solo or in a gang? 100% chives instead of 100% chive works better because no-one eats one chive.

[@stevered915]

Has the greatest body of work of any comedian working. Fantastic stuff.

[@YourPalHDee]

He is incredible, but I wouldn't say the greatest body of work. That probably goes to Prior or Carlin. Potentially CK. But yeah Lee is definitely up there somewhere.

[@Shmiguelly]

I find it funny that people think you can't like both Stewart Lee and Peter Kay. I find enjoyment from both of them, just in different ways. I think it's arrogant and quite annoying hipster-like to think "Oh I can't like an observational comedian if I like Stewart Lee". I love them both.

[@kidcharlemagne3044]

ScarecrowHuggins same thing with people thinking you can’t like Stewart Lee and Top Gear, I love both.

[@tomralfe5428]

I don’t like Peter Kay because he’s a self-serving arse. But he is funny, and Phoenix Nights is hilarious.

[@ihavethepowerquery4718]

Ohhhh mate? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh mate? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh maaaaaaaate?

[@willsuttie3683]

Do you remember space hoppers?

[@ignoblesurfer6281]

I'll give it to you straight, like a pear cider made with 100% pears. Good.

[@LuDux]

Massive prawns, Stew! Prawns you can see from space!

[@mydreamdestroyer]

I've watched this 4 times now and it's comic genius. I wasn't aware of the advert before but it still worked for me.

[@TheKevgray1]

I'm seeing this genius in April.

[@domski196]

probably best piece of standup I have ever seen.

[@MrTomb789]

never did find out what the Doctor was going to tell him...lol

[@michaelmcdonnell5998]

That comment about swapping between Welsh and English accents is a reference to Mark Watson.

[@ihavethepowerquery4718]

No, that's copied from me. I can speak English and Welsh. It's copied. It's OBVIOUSLY copied.

[@Stephg128]

The man is simply one of the finest holding mirror to the face comics there has ever been.

[@jimhood1202]

Now I'm really pissed off. The first time I saw that advert I said to my wife, who was watching as well, "he should have said pears not pear". If only I had gone just that little bit further and constructed an elaborate back story for the phrase worked it into a stand up act and taken it to a Glasgow audience I could be getting all this praise. But no, I just let it slide as most you who saw it probably did, so now I have to live the rest of my life shackled to the certain knowledge that I could have made something of myself instead of plugging away day after day, year after year for very little money and no thanks at all, digging these stupid pears.

[@patagualianmostly7437]

Big thumbs up, Jim! Nice one

[@chrisoliver3642]

Jim Hood has really let the phrase "give it to me straight, like a pair cider that's made from 100% pears" go.

[@YourPalHDee]

I'm annoyed for you tbh, mate. That's a piss take.

[@kobesamurai1127]

Love this every time I see it... and, I'll give it to you straight, like a Pear Cider that's, well, you know... being from Birmingham, and of "that age", I know (knew) Summit records, my parents worked at Cadbury's, hung out a bit with UB40, even. Genius!

[@MedulaLange]

"what you're doing is shit..." Brilliant!

[@deafboyone]

Ha ha Performance Art... at its best... and its FREE!

[@TheNotoriousMAD]

This is pretty much him taking that phrase back for eternity.

[@piramaniak]

I am in fits of laughter, what a genius :L

[@guineydj1]

I nearly wet myself when he said "one massive pear"

[@jamesmaybrick2001]

All these years later i'm not sure if this isnt the cleverest and most sophisticated Wagners cider advert ever.

[@refoliation]

Lee is the king of spending a lot of time on a bit that by the end you realize was 85% worth the time.

[@goodlookingcorpse]

Am I the only one who was terrified that he was going to fall?

[@fuzzy1237]

Nope , me too

[@dielaughing73]

His insurance company was holding its collective breath

[@rdofdukes]

They used to say it to each other in the fields! For fun!

[@billydykes5761]

"What's that... one massive pear?"

[@davidwood4113]

Wonderful.

[@MatVelvet]

Hey Stuart you're a genius.. Absolutely love the layers in this and the execution. Love your delivery of your own material. Thanbks for all of it. You make me very happy.. So much more to say but im a bit drunk on cider.....

[@alfieb8427]

He is clever funny. It's obviously the end haha

[@strangerwithin14]

Genuine comedy genius

[@B.A.Pilgrim]

I'll give it to you straight, like pear cider that's made from a 100% pears - I'm watching this for free...

[@ianhowlett4682]

Bloody hell, this is something!!!

[@tintomara6209]

Handsworth Revolution, seriously great record by Birmingham's finest!

[@timothydraper6626]

..Rever, rever, revolution, rever, rever, revolution...

[@MGDriver99]

Stewart Lee's masterpiece.

[@extremepietbh]

Thank you for uploading this (though the irony of me watching it on youtube is a little funny) I loved it.

[@sfoster.23]

Genius. Not even undermined by the fact he fell for Watson’s fake Welsh accent all this time

[@fergusmckee]

I wish i could be paid for my pub breadowns like this.

[@user-ro8sy8te7y]

I made a t-shirt and other products with the phrase "Give It To Me Straight, Like Pear Cider That's Made From 100% Pears" to epitomize the unfortunate circumstances described in this bit. It is an homage to both the cruelty and hilarity of having culture stolen poorly by advertisers.

[@mattlouv]

This bit is standup comedy's high water mark.

[@dontaskme7004]

"in the fields, in the sweat of our faces, digging up your fruit"

[@brucekennedy5274]

One massive pear you can see from space 😂😂😂

[@contactinspect]

Brilliant! Not jokes...intelligent wit.

[@dansaunders1655]

You can't make a drink out of a feeling, but once I went into Currys and there were a few concepts working in there. That's not an experience I forgot about in a hurry, I can tell you

[@pauldavies6810]

Part of me thinks that guy filming must have been a plant because it's too perfect..

[@SeeBread]

100% a plant. It's the crux of the whole sequence. Same with the woman wandering around. Still genius comedy

[@sarcasticstartrek7719]

yes, he is, as is the lady standing up - it's all scripted. Earlier on n the show he even says "everything, there, that there, was scripted. so was this. And this. And this bit. and this bit here. And this bit of me going MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU that was, too. And this. EKKKKK. That was. It's all scripted - all of it. I wrote that. That was me writing RRRRRRRRRRRRRR down. I wrote that. And that. And this. And I wrote all that"

[@edmundironside9435]

That last sentence was profound: you really can't make a drink out of a feeling; just ask my mate Gavin.

[@geordiebatt]

I haven't had a pear for ages.

[@ispearedbritney]

You should go out and get one, pear is 100% delicious.

[@stephenderry9488]

@@ispearedbritney And 0% disappointment.

[@EmperorSmith]

He's a master-craftsman

[@Barrybeastmode]

EmperorSmith your mum’s a master-craftsman

[@averyantitory4626]

Just brilliant.

[@ShootMeMovieReviews]

He's giving it to them straight.

[@UnaSheil]

That's commitment to a bit well played !

[@stephenderry9488]

I 100% enjoyed this clip. 0% pear. Although I shouldn't have to say that, because a) you can't have more than 100% of anything, and b) you can't make an emotion out of fruit.

[@tuulacanavan8606]

This is just brilliant!

[@tedvickers1005]

masterpiece

[@manuelwolff_de]

this is genius!

[@Soulrollsdeep]

"What you're doing is...shit"

[@harryhume]

I saw him do this live and it was fantastically awkward, particuarly for the guy who nipped to the loo.

[@collectorduck9061]

What, you mean someone just RANDOMLY decided to go to the loo just at the EXACT same time around his act as in this video? What a coincidence!!! =)

[@Micho55]

Doubt its staged, he seems to improv a lot of his bits. And going to the bathroom is pretty common in these events.

[@barryhomeowner1032]

@@Micho55 and in people at large now I think of it

[@over18irish]

I feel bad for watching this without paying, now.... >.

[@vabriga1]

That's one hell of a story teller.

[@mrmanch204]

99.999% pure genius and 0.001% disappointment...

[@perkyporkpie]

try and any other comedian like him-brilliant

[@SMG706]

Compear?

[@robharris5782]

1:48 the woman in front of Lee doesn't get to appreciate the joke lmao

[@Romanplaystation]

🤣 Must have seen this bit over a dozen times and never noticed that. Nice catch.

[@bonsaitigerMTB]

Because you can't make a drink out of a feeling.

[@kevinliddy6621]

Fabulous.

[@klausgartenstiel4586]

here's a man who does his own stunts.

[@MFTMSS]

0:15 I don't know why I find that zoom out so funny

[@newbarker523]

I used to watch the version of this sketch that went on for slightly longer. Stomping pears and ennui mentioned.

[@elcape67]

Excellent

[@djtomoy]

Shout out to all the pear

[@tastewithjase]

SO GOOD

[@zaitesushion]

One massive pear? Lmao.

[@Mikeoneus]

And I think you'll find it's Mr Magner.

[@kwanarchive]

It's funny to realize, looking up the ad, that the "Welsh bloke" in the ad is Mark Watson.

[@justind9858]

Stark raving brilliant.

[@uramalakia]

For an elderly Serbian war criminal, he sure is fit.

[@arahant69]

Rat up a cut bottle my fav track.

[@hamishmunroe9906]

Right at the start, bottom left, I thought that was Mark Watson

[@theboxofdogs]

Morrissey has let himself go.

[@ewenetwork4555]

He actually has though.

[@cobblers123]

...one massive pear...

[@a6entoren6e]

i'm torrenting this dvd as i watch him rant about torrents.

[@skankingrudeboy]

I was convinced that he was going to end that with the fact that pear cider, by definition, can't be made with 100% pears as it would then be a perry not a pear cider, which is of course apple cider flavoured with pears.... I guess that's why I'm not a comedian.

[@alessandrogiovannone3742]

This may be missing the point, but I have just watched no fewer than three different magners pear cider adverts featuring mark watson uttering the sentence in question, and in each case he does in fact end his lines using the plural of pear i.e. pears

[@0tophats031]

the feeling of being called out for watching this on youtube is further emphasized to me when he then points out two people with a very similar pink that i dye my hair with

[@HotOats]

What’s happened to the mr magners punch line at the end? That’s the best bit!

[@rawheadrex8487]

If Magners offered Stewart Lee £50k to be seen ordered a pint of pear cider in the backgriund of one of their adverts, do you think he would take it?

[@WORKERS.DREADNOUGHT]

If this isnt letting yourself go, then I dont know what is...