Stitch w/ Low Do This Instead of Paying For Dates, Ladies

[@MariaLuckyxo]

I was the girl who paid for dessert and always offered, when the cheque came. I was conditioned to believe the most important thing is to not look like a gold digger. I wondered deep down, why I thought the men I dealt were feminine. I now see I set myself up to have stingy men. They were NOT just cheap financially, they were withholding emotionally, as well. BIG MISTAKE ON MY PART.👿 Now I NEVER offer and the best advice I ever received from a women is, *"These guys are doing something on the date to make you feel like you have to offer.'* She was 100% right. They were testing me and *subtly hung back when the bill came to see if I offered.* Instead of focusing on courting me, they focused on small money. These weren't extravagant meals. I don't know if I agree with Anwar about getting a small gift on date 4 or 5 but I do know if I get even the smallest hint he wants me to pay for things in the early stage - the courting phase - I now know from experience it only gets worse (the cheapness) .......that's a huge red flag HUGE.🚩🚩🚩 Lesson Learned. 🙏

[@olgabushak2942]

Same I love Anwar but don't agree on the gift. #1 it sets an expectation now you giving gifts? #2 I hate buying crap and never know what to get people. On date 3 a kiss on the cheek should be the gift lol why would i get someone a gift I probably haven't even kissed yet. Take it SLOW ladies

[@MariaLuckyxo]

@@olgabushak2942 Completely agree. I don't want to set an early expectation of gift giving on my part. A kiss on the cheek, when it feels right is our gift.😘 And before that, our time & attention is a great gift. We do enough emotional labour for men, I don't want to add frequent gifts (however small) to the list of things I give. 😃 And yes the best advice a trauma teacher gave me is *Take it slow* Give people the time & space to see if the mask slips. And always listen to your intuition.

[@MariaLuckyxo]

@@olgabushak2942 Completely agree. I don't want to set an early expectation of gift giving on my part. A kiss on the cheek, when it feels right is our gift.😘 And before that, our time & attention is a great gift. We do enough emotional labour for men, I don't want to add frequent gifts (however small) to the list of things I give. 😃 And yes the best advice a trauma teacher gave me is *Take It Slow* Give people the time & space to see if the mask slips. And always listen to your intuition.

[@divathedivinegoddess8001]

I think you're misunderstanding what he's saying about the "gift" thing. For instance, a guy I dated always paid for dates so by month two I noticed that the charger for his car was hanging on by a thread so when I was at Wal Mart one day I just grabbed him a cheap charger and when I gave it to him THE LOOK ON HIS FACE of per gratitude was so adorable. It's just really a small gesture to say thank you, it's not that serious.

[@MariaLuckyxo]

@@divathedivinegoddess8001 I completely understand the small gift thing Anwar explained. You did something thoughtful & sweet after 2 months of full courtship (he paid for Everything) I get where you were coming from. I've been too generous with stingy men so my personal lesson is to sit on my hands. I don't feel comfortable getting a man something small on date 4 or 5, anymore. I don't want to focus on reciprocating with gifts early on. They aren't doing anything extravagant in any way for me that I want to say thank you. To each their own, though:)

[@mscharleeann]

I used to be the girl offering to pay. This advice and the rationale Anwar gave for this advice were spot on, and it’s something I learned the hard way. I’m still quite the giver at heart, though, so I love the idea of giving a small but thoughtful gift after the 4th date. This man definitely knows what he’s talking about!

[@leggyReid4c]

My current boyfriend wants me to take him on a date too. I was shocked when he asked. I have never dated a guy who wants me to take him on a date.

[@likemycommentifyouwantareply]

@@leggyReid4ctime to be too busy for him 😊

[@aprilclover2429]

@@leggyReid4c, do it if he’s been generous with you. Treat your man to a date if that will please him. Why not reciprocate?

[@leggyReid4c]

@@aprilclover2429 He is not the most generous person either. He watches men talk about how to be in relationship these days. We both have a decent jobs and have and our personalities are compatible. I’m patient and want to see if he changes as the relationship is less than a year old.

[@aprilclover2429]

@@leggyReid4c, if you really like him then do it and see how he reacts. Try it and see if you like it. Taking him on a date might be a nice gesture that he appreciates.

[@VivSees]

He’s correct: NEVER pay for dates if you want a masculine man who will adore you. When i came to usa to attend university (paid for by my father) i was astonished by the numbers of bw (my female friends) always opening their wallets to pay for dates. I was repulsed. It felt so thirsty and unfeminine to me. My mother told me when i was young that its an insult for a lady to bring out money/my wallet in front of any man who’s interested in you. My father backed this up by NEVER allowing my mother to pay for anything even though my mum had her own money. My dad said: your mother’s money is hers, my money is the family’s. Rest in peace Mum & Dad 💞

[@SR-mv2mf]

Wow great role models

[@ileanaprofeanu7626]

Let people do what they please, if you are repulsed by more assertive, masculine women it's a you problem.

[@szszszsz95395]

Then, what are the ways that women can reciprocate and show masculine men that we appreciate being with them on a regular basis if you've been dating for 6 months , 12 months, 2 years, etc.?

[@Alex_Is_Not_Here]

Volts? Amperes? Ugg, how I hate pseudociences, go with ya ileterated family some where else

[@WhiteWolfBlackStar]

Your dad was a classy guy married to a classy Queen! Rest them ✨🥰🕊🙏🌹✨

[@ItsLayla305]

I recall this one time my boyfriend at the time and I went out for dinner. He had a horrible day but still wanted us to go out for dinner. The bill came and I offered to pay, the look he gave me before he spoke I had never seen before. He scolded me and was highly offended by my offer. The remainder of the night he was still going on about how offended he was and for me to never do that ever again. That was the first and last time I ever offered to pay for dates.🤭🤭

[@BloodMeridians]

☝️☝️☝️ real man right there who respects himself and his honor as a man.

[@nyeguono]

@@BloodMeridiansThat’s not what makes someone a real man. Not like paying all the time is a bad thing, it’s the reason why that determines. Any man who grew up attaching their masculinity to paying would think the same way. Plenty other things to determine whether you’re a ‘real man’ or not.

[@ТаяГалкина-ч9ж]

It's not okay to complain about for a long time, too. He should say this only once

[@ndunyamunene8161]

I grew up watching my mum literally take care of the bills of almost every man in her life. It could be her siblings, coworkers, acquaintances, family, my dead beat dad etc. So I grew up feeling uncomfortable or grateful when a guy would take care of the bill. Still struggling with it, but am trying, I still have a long way to go, sigh!

[@Passion84GodAlways]

🫂🙏🏾

[@mizbarehana5498]

Same!!

[@Jane-yg3vz]

Same. My boyfriend is embarrassed when I carry or pay for things instead of him. I felt guilty at first, but a friend reminded me that he's a full-grown man, and if he wants to pay, that's his decision. My boyfriend said to me that that's one of the ways he shows his love for me, and by not letting him pay, it feels like I'm rejecting his love. There's a difference between accepting an offer to pay and flat out asking someone to pay.

[@LazygirlLA892]

Paid for myself/did 50/50 in my 20’s and I ended up attracting feminine men/ de polarized relationships. Love this video, esp how you talk about staying away from men who see paying for your dinner as transactional.

[@Rosehips0610]

That's called the FRIEND ZONE 😏 if I'm Paying towards a Date. I'll never see you for more than that at this point forward.

[@FlowersgirlJ]

Same!! If I pay, we’ll never date. It’s so unattractive

[@YouKnowMeDuh]

A woman paying for a date is basically the equivalent of saying it won't work out, in the eyes of some. Some women are just overly eager to show that they are reasonable, but others definitely do it to draw a subtle line in the sand. A no-fault separation, of sorts.

[@KarenLum]

I try not to be so laser focused on whether or not he pays for a date, I tried to be observant of whether or not he’s generous. Because some men can be generous with acts of service and I really value that. I know some men who always pay but they’re also horrible with their money and have no savings. So when they shower me with gifts, I also will ask some questions about their beliefs around investing and saving, just to check this person doesn’t just have a spending problem.

[@Dancingheart]

Love the way you think!

[@carlismycat]

Good thought process.

[@carlaalegria3658]

Same here. My boyfriend started paying on our first dates, but most of the time, we tried to go to cheap places or go to events that were free. Lately, I've been paying half of the bill because he tends to invest most of his salary, and his budget is very tight. He has shared his financial plans for the future with me, and I know that it is worth it for him to save now so we don't have to struggle in the future, he show his love through acts of service and takes care of me if I'm sick or stressed, just because a man provides financially doesn't mean he will provide for you in other areas, I've known older men whom openly admit cheating on their wives and they usually say that they do it because they can, they take good care of their wives that's how they secure them.

[@SL-lz9jr]

Yes! OMG. My best friend's brother always gave women expensive gifts after barely knowing them. I told him not to do that. He's a broke single dad. He was smart but a fool when it came to women.

[@aquashuriken1634]

That's something I feel like this video misses. Some men pay through services instead of finances. And some financial providers are just blowing out their bank accounts trying to impress women.

[@Cantetinza17]

I ask way before the date, "who's paying"? I need to know way before I accept. My friend just gave a thoughtful gift and the dude, said thanks and tossed it in his back seat. I told her never see him again.

[@deeabee96]

If they asked you out, the absolute base level expectation should be that they pay

[@amyleigh7624]

I offered a couple months into dating a masculine man since we'd been together a while. He was so upset! Never do the reach. Cook for him, surprise him, but do not pay.

[@shethewriter]

This absolutely works, good guys just want to know you are not taking advantage of them. A thoughtful gift shows you are not and then he is happy to pay. Not to mention if you go on a few dates and you can't think of anything to get him or don't want to you're probably not that into him anyway!

[@divathedivinegoddess8001]

💯💯💯

[@szszszsz95395]

Then, what are the ways that women can reciprocate and show masculine men that we appreciate being with them on a regular basis if you've been dating for 6 months , 12 months, 2 years, etc.?

[@BloodMeridians]

@szszszsz95395 go ask ur mother

[@SL-lz9jr]

​@@szszszsz95395cook for them, help them with a problem by finding a solution, provide emotional support. Lots of ways to show you care.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

HELLO! A Man who wants to build a Relationship with you wants to make you happy. He GIVES not takes.

[@RickRorose]

The reason why it’s 3 of his to 1 of her is because when they are married those numbers are reversed. So women, you want to be sure you have a giving caring generous man. Men that keep score will only keep score when he feels like he’s owed. And men must show security and protection to women in order for the woman to be herself, which takes time. So at the start he should invest. Then after time, whatever he gives she returns to him WITH interest. Just by her being herself around this man and being with him. And no one is being obligated to each other: It’s just a well oiled wheel at that point. Just got to find a man that’s good

[@SR-mv2mf]

I was like yeah that’s the right thing to do till you stopped the video and said “don’t do this” 😂

[@Nadia_Cherie]

Omg same!

[@aquashuriken1634]

Same. Sorta kills my hope for humanity lol

[@Andrea.P.]

Cause I shoooo would have pulled my little wallet out and have. I think the next one I'm gonna sit back and file my nails when that bill comes. 😂

[@hope-miracles]

I just did this & it worked really well. He was sooo surprised & grateful!! I personalized it & got him a gift aligned to his hobby. He’s still talking about the small gift a week later. He seemed really touched by my thoughtfulness. Thank you fairy godbrother… You the real MVP! 🙏🏾☺️💛✨

[@natalyaroberts1998]

If he expects to split the bill or pay our own than he needs to make that clear when he asks her on the date, not at the date.

[@Lala_monzz]

to start off, I’m a traditional woman. When I met my husband, I didn’t even offer to pay, and if anything was said about paying, and even if I felt an inkling that he wanted me to pay, I would have known instantly that he is not a traditional man, and I want a traditional man, but he paid for everything and never expected anything out of me

[@Midnightblue19444]

I never pay for dates. Not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I grew up with a very masculine father and believe me I was taught that paying wasn’t any of my business. My wallet stays closed :)

[@themodestgoddess1645]

2:13 I Came In A Little Closer Too! 😄 👁👁 👄

[@mscharleeann]

😂

[@Rosehips0610]

😂😂😂😂

[@SheIsFearfullyWonderfullyMade]

So true!!! My ex was highly offended when I did the fake “offer” to pay on like date number 3. He wasn’t perfect but that was one thing that he didn’t play about. Very masculine And it works ladies about a small thoughtful gift especially when he the type of man who already has everything. They will always remember and appreciate the thought.

[@szszszsz95395]

Then, what are the ways that women can reciprocate and show masculine men that we appreciate being with them on a regular basis if you've been dating for 6 months , 12 months, 2 years, etc.?

[@lifesaplay3675]

3:1... for every 3 things the man does, the woman does 1, such as a small gift. I like it.✅

[@samanthab6055]

Not paying for sh*t

[@Rosehips0610]

😂😂😂😂

[@twinkletits2459]

Sprinkle sprinkle 😂

[@Brandy205]

I feel you…..😂❤😂

[@nylotus]

Are you married or in a healthy long term relationship? Most women with this mentality are not.

[@Katasha1]

This is so true, the guy I’m dating doesn’t like for me to pay and I bought him a chess set (he asked me to buy it jokingly) and he was very grateful

[@Hope-qy8dr]

There are too many games! The payoff is not worth it if you have to play games. Where are the grown folk that don't have the time, the energy, and would prefer peace over guess work?

[@Andrea.P.]

You are very right sis, I go by whoever invites someone out is who pays. As for the gifts, just give when you feel it in your heart.

[@GenXsinglefree]

With first dates, I always asked for separate checks. His reaction determined if a second date would happen. I haven't dated in over 25 years, but I believe this would still be a good indicator of his character. The usual reactions were: the polite insistence to pay, the annoyed/angry insistence to pay, and the request to pay for his meal as well. Who gets date number 2?

[@br8979]

If he's offended if you try to contribute he's not the right guy. Men can be masculine and decline but should not be threatened by the offer, that just shows insecurities.

[@hanaezra9452]

I never even thought about paying while i was dating. I was in gracious receivership❤

[@atlsongbyrd6084]

🙅🏻‍♀️ If he invited me out he has to pay wtf!

[@harshitajaiswal555]

That's a very fair point! Now i see a better sense in not paying .

[@jessicalees4210]

@@harshitajaiswal555- I learned in the 90s from my LGBTQ friends (who don’t have the same clearly defined gender roles) that the person who invites is the person who pays. As an adult, in the 2010s, a female family member said to me: “I noticed you never invite anyone to lunch or dinner, but when we call you always say yes.” 👍🏻

[@burnettaallen2492]

I am so glad that I watched this. I have always been the a small thoughtful gift type of girl and not the masculine I can pay too type. However when I did this with a male coworker who was going out of his way to be helpful to me it back fired. First he attempted to get me to purchase him something more expensive that he would actually like, his words. I told him absolutely not and let him know that he was rude for asking. He pretended that it was a mistake then later accused me of not appreciating his help but acting entitled. Words came to a head. He no longer helps because I now limit conversation. I felt wrong for showing him appreciation at all. I agree that many men are now living in their feminine and are looking for women to provide financially for them either fully or at least half. I wasn't wrong but I was dealing with a man in his feminine. Had he been in his masculine he would have appreciated my acknowledgement of his kindness knowing that I realized that he was not required nor expected to be helpful thus the reason for my appreciation gift in the first place.

[@tspencer661]

Facts. It’s called reciprocity. Men like food. Make him his favorite muffin, cookie, or cupcake. He will be the happiest man on the planet.

[@aitanacruz9882]

OFFENDED because you offered to pay? That's some insecure little boy thing.

[@aditigupta7222]

I think it is best to do what feels natural.

[@heathermetz6576]

Thank you, Anwar. The best gentleman I ever dated was from 2008-2016. He would never let me pay for dates. It was wonderful. If I never get to date again, I’ll always be thankful for the love I had.

[@trenchrock]

I'd rather go dutch personally. I don't want to feel like I owe men something just because we went out for dinner or a coffee. Is that wrong? I don't know, lol

[@vera_nika2]

amen....

[@halsi2020]

even if he pays, you owe nothing to your date except good companionship, as well as your time and attention during the date. you aren't a prostitute or an escort. if your date expects any touch (kiss, s3x, etc) as a reward just because he pays for the date, that's on him for a cheap manipulative bastard who should be in therapy instead of wasting everyone's time by being in a dating market

[@trenchrock]

@@halsi2020 I believe it is a minority of men who think that paying for dinner=s€x but I don't want to have to explain that on every first date that I have just in case. I'd rather just have a nice time and not feel that pressure at all.

[@MermaidMoney]

I'm borrowing this!! My clients are usually wondering about these things. We need this info! Love you!

[@The_Azrah_Shah]

This advice is gold ❤ but for the girlies trying to get out of the paying habit this is what u say when the bill comes : “thank you for today I really had a wonderful time with you “ something of this nature... This encourages his masculinity to want to make this entire day his score... Appreciate a man and he will give to you... Dating coach here 😬

[@юля-ч3у]

Very true. I got a small $5 gift for my friend who is a guy. It was a sentimental gift because it was a small niche thing that he liked. And out of that I got an even bigger gift from him costing anywhere more than $100.

[@Ruledbyvenus_]

He is NOT lying.

[@JS-ld2qd]

Then WHY does it feel so GUILTY, bad, or uncomfortable to accept him paying for the first date? If I like him np, I don't feel bad. But if I don't like him, that's when I'll pay because it feels wrong to accept him paying for dinner when I know I don't like him that much 😕 😒 please help me understand this better??

[@cherrellefrye2002]

Stop going out with guys you don’t like.

[@Dancingheart]

My 2 cents, if you find out you don't like him during the date, go ahead and pay at least your 1/2, and walk away happy. But I think what he said in this video is very important, are we picking transactional relationships instead of reciprocal ones? If we are used to transactional relationships, even unconsciously, then the guilt comes in because we may feel we aren't holding up our side on this bargain. That makes US the problem, not him. So maybe we need to take a good hard look at ourselves and why we feel guilty, and start working on ourselves, and what type of man we are attracting or allowing into our lives.

[@ameliadeshane9192]

In addution to what everyone else said, if you get the feeling the guy is expecting something exxxtra after dinner. Pay your part and split. Or dont pay. But drive your own car and split.

[@halsi2020]

my 2 cents... you owe nothing to your date except your time and attention during the date. it has nothing to do with whether you like him or not. you are supposed to figure out whether you want to continue or stop DURING that date. he is paying for that opportunity, not for a certainty. if you still feel bad and uncomfortable, it's probably because you are unconsciously afraid of being called a gold digger, scammer, or being blamed for not being interested in your date despite him being a "gentleman" during the date, or you are too kind you feel like you have wasted his time. if it's the two last ones, please remind yourself, that he is paying for the opportunity that you might change your mind and choose to be with him so you do not owe him anything. his time wasn't wasted. he already got what he asked for. if your date demands you to be his girlfriend or if your date demands any touch (kiss, s3x, etc) as a reward just because he pays for the date, that's on him for being a sore loser or a cheap manipulative bastard. either way, he should have been in therapy instead of wasting everyone's time by being in a dating market. only when they do this, should you pay, either only for your part of the bill or in full. it signifies it's truly the end and a BIG WARNING to yourself to immediately block them afterwards, to never ever consider them romantically ever again.

[@youlandaJF1145]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I NEVER paid for a date with a man, and they never expected I would. Now married I’ve paid for my husband and I a few times because my card had less of a balance on it, then he paid that bill. Men truly interested in that woman prides themselves on taking care of her. I did bring a sweet gift at times or walked back from a bar with two drinks in my hand and said, you’ve got to try this and let me know what you think. But never, I’ll pay the tab. He’s giving solid advice ladies. 👏🏽

[@HSBsoulsurfer]

I cringed at that! 😫😂

[@deeabee96]

That original video was crazy. I know in many Asian cultures they’ll do the fake out thing and pay when one person goes to the bathroom, but not on a date. PLEASE.

[@JC50-joy]

Pay for the 1st time and he knew he gotcha already

[@bl7817]

An unattractive guy who was a LOT older than me asked me for dinner. I was actually confused, because I couldn't imagine how he would think it was a date. So I asked if he was paying. He gave me the best answer ever, "Don't be a loser!"

[@mirabella2154]

What ?

[@bl7817]

@@mirabella2154 exactly.

[@szszszsz95395]

Lol😂. He wanted you to pay???

[@jj4774ns-te5px]

😂😂😂😂🤢🤢🤢

[@ameliadeshane9192]

Its true. Dont chill with losers. Dusty men. Only spend time with men who pay for dinner, eventually your bills and adding you on credit cards, THEN consider marriage.

[@jb-ze1yh]

yes I never pay for dates especially in the beginning unless we are 5-6 dates in or longer (usually bf/gf) then I pay for a small thing like a drink or dessert... or a movie.. nothing more nothing less.. It works..

[@jb-ze1yh]

no im gonna do the 3:1 for sure..

[@ela5720]

I am traumatised after I watched a few red pill videos, your chanell is a refuge

[@queenofthebutterflies5212]

You are the best! I LOVE everything you say. You are fabulous and I'm now a new subscriber 🥰

[@stephj3442]

I love your advice! What do you suggest once you’re exclusive? 3:1 when dating, but what about when exclusive? Thanks for all your help!

[@FireSilver25]

Also women are literally risking our lives when we entertain men. Paying for dates is seriously the bare minimum. If I like him I’ll cook now and then. But I like the little gift idea! If I start dating again I’ll try it. ❤

[@XOXOPriscilla]

So many gems 💎

[@merakibox6835]

I use to do this..they never let me pay so I settled with paying the tip. They only ended up feeling entitled to you paying in the end 🙄

[@szszszsz95395]

Then, what are the ways that women can reciprocate and show masculine men that we appreciate being with them on a regular basis if you've been dating for 6 months , 12 months, 2 years, etc.?

[@KingMeBad]

Never have paid for a date, never will. I’ll pay when I have a ring on my finger 😂

[@sharonstyle]

So who got gift ideas? 😂

[@jessicaaudate]

Depends on what he likes. A car accessory, a home item, or something that ties in to a hobby he likes

[@roma5809]

His favorite baked good and a well written card is never a bad idea!

[@pilarq7886]

➡️nice Bookends, ➡️CALM AID by Nature's Way in 10minutes relaxes, de-stress without drowsiness, ➡️crystals i.e. snakeskin agate, bumblebee jasper, rhodonite (50% black), Tigers eye, orange calcite (Protection : laboradite, shungite #1 also from computers, cell etc) (Cleansing: Aragonite)

[@SR-mv2mf]

Kitchen items?. Make it meaningful I once gave a guy a can opener because he said he just moved and didn’t have one 😂

[@jessicaaudate]

@@SR-mv2mf good one

[@PeacefulSavageKS]

I'm Greek but I also grew up with my mom and sister and always saw her paying for everything and handling everything herself. Before I got with my man, I used to go on different dates and I had always been super uncomfortable when men paid because I didn't want to "owe" them anything or raise expectations. Until my man was indeed offended when I was trying to pay on our first few dates and confronted me. When I explained that I don't look down on him but I don't want to owe him, he said "your company is enough to owe me nothing more." I guess this is when I knew he was a husband not a boyfriend. It's been many years now that we live together and I have learned to let him pay, carry the heavy stuff, defend me and generally be the man. Letting go of my need to prove myself as independent and accepting to be taken care of was the best decision I have ever made. Yes I am working too, yes we make about the same money and yes I contribute to the household expenses if and when needed, but it's always after him....I can't describe how much more of a woman I feel with an actual man next to me. 😁

[@emmapaynter9893]

Ok but on the dates do you offer to pay for anything? Like just fully lean back?

[@t.l1357]

Thank you is sufficient. A grown man is confused by you paying. He just wants your presence and feminine company. He can't get that from his guy friends.

[@kellymaresha]

Be FEMININE. Receive.

[@HSBsoulsurfer]

Do NOT pay. ❤

[@saboo1_2]

He says dont offer, just say thank you

[@ohanaohana8844]

It's a character flaw if a man isn't generous. If he's stingy with money, he'll be stingy with everything!

[@arimay9555]

Ive never had a guy ask. Before I leave, I ask myself would I pay for my meal. If not, I add more makeup or dress nicer. Its gotten me shopping trips on second date.

[@ml07]

Honestly it’s different I been on both sides and not gonna lie my pride as a female was hurt but I understand where he was coming from and let him take the bill every time… but now I know how to return the favor when the time comes again, good tip

[@likemycommentifyouwantareply]

You’re a female human, which is a WOMAN. Don’t strip away your humanity.

[@roma5809]

Why does your pride hurt? His pride isn’t hurt when you do domestic labor or birth kids?? He thinks that’s what you’re supposed to do if anything.

[@sheelania8833]

@@roma5809 .. yea true

[@sams517]

@@roma5809does this logic apply to women who don’t want kids lol

[@spacebar9733]

@@sams517 yes it does

[@vera_nika2]

i'd pay my own part while he is out, he can pay his...if he doesn't im still safe as my part was paid

[@orquideacastillonajera]

3 of 1 that is brilliant ❤❤❤❤

[@pablodm9]

If all you are is a wallet, a wallet you will be. I'm talking to guys here. People are filling their heads with games and bs

[@angelirika]

I did this with my current boyfriend, and I can absolutely confirm. Is there anything to do, or is it too late for us?

[@WhiteWolfBlackStar]

I do tend to buy and bring home food and all sorts of gifts, caretaker, stay where I work. But when we go out, I usually leave the tip, cuz I like to frequent establishments, I used to be in service industry and I like to leave good tips. So if he’s cheap on the tips, I won’t have it. I’ll leave a big tip so we always get good service! But yeah, I’m thinking that’s as far as anything would go with anything further. Great video. Thank you! ✨🥰🙏🌹💎✨

[@trackrunner6033]

Is there an app for beautiful SSBBW or plus-size black women?👸🏾🍑

[@tapinwithtiffany538]

I luv it! I can't wait to try it❤❤❤

[@SheIsFearfullyWonderfullyMade]

It works! I’ve been doing this forever and didn’t even realize that it was a “strategy”😁 a masculine provider type of man will actually be offended especially if he invited you. There’s PLENTY of men out here like that☺️

[@OmegaKsiDoll]

Everytime i give a gift to a guy they disappear and relationships fail within a week

[@SomebodyStopMe1111]

What kind of gifts are you giving?

[@SomebodyStopMe1111]

Lol... framed pictures of them sleeping with emoji captions... ? I'm sorry, I had to joke. But really, how soon are you giving these gifts and what are they?

[@SomebodyStopMe1111]

Um... and also, I looked at your profile and girl, please stop giving gifts unless he's your boyfriend of a few months. You, beautiful lady, ARE the gift.

[@NymAM]

Whoever had the idea to go on the date pays EZ

[@HeyOlive239]

Thank you so so much for sharing ❤❤

[@msbrowno8]

Serious question. What if you asked him out on the date? Do I still not pay?

[@samlynx2016]

Okay, that's all well and good. But what if the woman asks to pay? Like, if a guy asks me out the first two times, he pays. If I ask him out the third time, I pay.

[@aishanjgirl07]

Don’t ask men out.

[@LazygirlLA892]

@@samlynx2016 DO NOT ASK A MAN OUT If you want to see him again learn how to ‘drop a hanky’ to show him you’re interested. For me this translates to sending stupid memes when I want to see him. It puts me on his radar and then he takes the initiative to see me in person. If he doesn’t take the bait, he’s either too busy or he’s not into you. I’ve found a man who’s interested in you will ‘pick up the hanky’ 95% of the time.

[@squidwardwithoutaclue]

This is such pick me behaviour how do people not see this 🤣

[@scarlettthebrave5854]

I didn’t buy him a gift but he has a young daughter and I bought her two thoughtful gifts on two separate dates. I still got accused of not paying for things and asked if I was ‘ taking him for everything he’d got” cos I only paid for one drink on one date. First date. I arranged open air music at my local park. He bought one drink after 2nd date- he got tickets to the circus and I bought one drink later( like to add I can’t drink alcoholic so i was only on low beer or water) 3rd date- at his so no layout I’m sick of men branding women gold diggers if they don’t pay for a drink or more in first or second dates. I contribute in other ways. Little gifts, snacks etc. I’m giving up dating

[@jess77surfs]

What if all his hobbies and interests are terribly expensive? AND he has a ton of stuff and doesn't like treats? Then that little gift isn't soo little... 😫

[@alchemicalsoul]

This ego based living will be the end of us. Build a life you love. When you engage other souls, if you choose to serve in that moment, do so. Develop and establish financial boundaries for YOURSELF, so that you don't cause detriment to yourself. Don't make it a habit of providing for another human UNLESS you choose the consequences for better or worse. That includes adult children, partners, friends, whomever. If you ask a man to go somewhere, there is nothing wrong with treating them.

[@bravesoul7777]

If i have to pay for anything they will never see my face again ever

[@Satomiq]

Guy! This is wise🎉😊

[@jackasshearts]

This is not applied when you date in Germany 😐, all Berlin guys are red flag!

[@nk6122]

All German guys in General 😂

[@appleheaddefender]

I do this when im just being nice

[@belindanaarlamlejohnson4250]

But if that’s not he’s “love language”, will it still “matter/ work/ mean something ” to do that? I feel like I did this to someone, because my love language was giving and now that I’m thinking about .. he was greedy and I did pay for lots of our dates 😂 I’m going to take this to heart😂🤩

[@TheLastMimzie]

I like this advice

[@omiadi7485]

Never understood women doing this.

[@2452dee]

Steve Harvey said this as well

[@katherinebraxton5068]

🎉Thanks for this advice. I'm curious and attracted to Asian men. How do i get to know them?

[@juliakhali4114]

I don't understand this mentality. People have different goals but I think I speak for many women when I say that I would like to have my own job and be financially independent from my partner. That does not mean that if he earns more than me, I would not like for him to pay more for the common expenses, including having dinner. But if I do have my own money, like I want to have, I would like to invite him to some of the things that I can afford, proportionately to our difference in earnings. And lately I'm only seeing people who seem to think that the only way for a woman to exist in a relationship is through absolute financial dependence, which is just shocking to me

[@juliakhali4114]

Oh and if paying makes you doubt your femininity (and the other way around), I think the latter should be definetely checked fist

[@rosesareromsee]

Anwar sir, what would you recommend on just offering to pay, and then striking off all those who let you pay? Because maybe that boy doesn't want to pay but since he mostly wouldn't say that directly we'll never know the real intention?

[@ayasolomon2542]

Solid advice

[@nikjonestravel]

Thanks for this!

[@sORrYiMLaTe_wHAtdiDiMisS]

Why is that fatal though 🤭

[@akeishaharris]

Thank you for your videos. ❤

[@CircleJSuburbanHomestead]

In this economy hardly anyone will be dating until they are well established in their careers. Or we can all be grown ups. Since this assumes he asked her to dinner, it makes sense he would be prepared to pay for that. In the example she asked about dessert. Possibly he doesnt have the funds for that. Its okay for folks to take turns paying for things. Yes im in a relationship and we are both adults about money.

[@TM-nb9zf]

Yup. They will use you😂

[@nikazoe7990]

Is it really that deep who pays for a date👀?

[@sportybutterfly6220]

Ugh & ick! Why couldn’t she just let him pay?😩 Sorry, I’d only get him a gift if it were his birthday/anniversary/holiday, but I’d be willing to do something thoughtful around date 3 like pick him up his favorite coffee/snack on the way to meeting him (not necessarily on the date) but something small to let him know I’m paying attention to what he says he likes. 2-1/3-1 reciprocation is best when in a committed relationship. Ref Dr. Pat Allen (Getting to “I Do”).

[@marysh3840]

I wish I knew it 20 years ago

[@IdiEdem]

"More guys are in their feminine energy..." Interesting.

[@Indigenous_go]

What if you’re already in a relationship?

[@cleovernebaptiste2747]

You are on point men I love you

[@victoria.xseven7913]

If you don't pay half then you owe "something" to the guy and he knows it. I go away guilty feeling paid for or like I'm not giving the thing be paid 😊for.

[@halsi2020]

nope. you don't owe the guy such a thing. ask yourself. are you an escort or a prostitute? if you are not, why do you think you owe him that "something"? couples go on a date to get to know each other and figure out whether they would like to be in a relationship or not. he pays for that opportunity and nothing more. if he demands any touch (kiss, s3x) just because he pays, that's on him for being a cheap manipulative bastard. he should have been in therapy or with a "professional" instead of wasting everyone's time being in the dating market. you shouldn't feel guilty unless you know you are being paid to be a hired escort or prostitute.

[@victoria.xseven7913]

@@halsi2020 I think this was true in the past, that men would pay the way for women, because they didn't work and didn't even have such things as bank accounts or many rights. I don't need to ask myself something I'm already knowing and men are already expressing. If I don't pay, that means I owe, unless the guy expressively refuses me to pay or owe him anything, which is the sign of a gentleman but still I'm in debt. If billions of men should be in therapy then that's the way it is. I also don't want to be left with men feeling dropped out in the cold after "investing" so much because they paid and I can't just walk away after "taking" from him. I want to be able to walk away without feeling that pressure that his "investment" was wasted somehow and deal with whatever male behaviour happens after that, like hik feeling jilted or calling me selfish etc. Sometimes or often I just don't like the guy I.e. bad hygiene or imagines he's got me because he paid me or whatever.

[@LunazulBaraka]

​@victoria.xseven7913 the other person just said he is paying for the opportunity to see if you both connect. So, he paid for that and he got it. That "investment" ends when the dinner ends. Also if someone invites you, they pay.

[@Fverheijden]

How about in marriage?

[@BGZ2022]

Uhmz what if or I already paid like 50/50 😢?

[@lovebug6388]

You have to start the painful process of retraining him. If he won't acquiesce, buh-bye!

[@sheelania8833]

Nah. I say dip. He already showed he isn’t good, don’t hang around, don’t sleep with him. Move on! Before you get hooked and become his builder Barbara

[@lilacgreens-kh9jg]

Same. Date 1 he put his card down and I did the reach for my purse but he didn’t stop me… they stop me like 90% of the time so I was shocked😂. So we both paid. Now I wonder if I don’t reach for my purse on date 2… would it be weird?? I honestly lost a bit of interest in him but he asked me out again.

[@sheelania8833]

@@lilacgreens-kh9jg Don’t go! Make up something.

[@samlynx2016]

​@@lilacgreens-kh9jgI would recommend not going for the purse, but getting something for the 3rd date. Unfortunately, you're just going to have to accept the awkward of not paying after you did so the first time.