Stop Bickering. It's Killing Your Relationship - Esther Perel

[@abdikheirabdikadir1596]

"Behind a criticism is often a wish." When I say, "You never do this", I am saying "I wish you do this".

[@issac7787]

So true

[@weiss.satin86]

"Do you wanna be right or do you wanna be married?" ... Wow. Thank you Esther, every minute invested on listening to you is worth it. Kisses from Mexico

[@corsicanlulu]

why does that sound like something dr. phil says? lol.

[@kevinawilliams9703]

Sometimes a woman had to bicker.. cause a man will look right at her and say yes I will!!! Then turn around and purpose to something else!!! That creates yelling and a fight!

[@k4ir0s]

I once asked a man who has been married for 40 years what his secret was? His answer: "Yes ma'am."

[@scrappy3471]

I wanna be right 😂😂😂

[@clint9701]

@@estherperel wow I've just heard about you/just started watching some of your videos . So well explained, in simple terms . You engage the listener so well. I look forward to watching more great videos

[@articcircleado]

The emotional intelligence of this woman is unbelievable.

[@Prieze868]

As long as the other person has the same values and is willing to try but if you're flogging a dead horse well you could you can be amazing with your psychology but if the person you're with isn't willing to even go there and you're either going to have to leave and risk your financial security with that person or you know all love with it or we can't fix another person they got to be willing to fix themselves to she's Esther is amazing make good choices as they say

[@Prieze868]

@@akhileshmagal well said there's a lot of good armchair psychologist boat some ask their partner is he cheated does it go to brothels what is on business trips see what the truth is she took some good stuff though

[@carolinatolardo3454]

@@akhileshmagal o

[@jakeykirigaya1761]

Emotional intelligence or EQ isn't actually a real thing, it's just a social concept to make people that are higher in neuroticism seem more useful to make everyone seem equal but what she is showing is IQ and intrapersonal intelligence goes into calculating IQ.

[@lur3950]

Oh yeah!! We got super woman here

[@nigeebro2533]

Better to be wise than right.......this is gold!

[@tperk]

No, my wife will pick being right every time. And she'll keep pushing it until she gets the last word. Every time.

[@ChekuL8er]

But you cant let the other person believe theyre right when theyre actually wrong

[@garmisra7841]

@@tperk Sounds like she can go be right by herself. Life is too dang short to put up with it. I'm going in this direction myself.

[@GermandaSpeedwell]

One of the most powerful pieces of advice I heard years ago and it changed my life was from Dr Phil, consider this, ask yourself 'was I a nice person to live with today?' The only behaviour you can change is your own!

[@nitenite8698]

Thank you for this comment, I really needed this to better myself in my relationship.

[@LemonOlga]

I agree. I see no hope in even influincing my husband. Try all linguistic and psychotherapy tricks I want.. I am forever a NAG, got there at my own fault and emotionally unstable by definition of being a woman.

[@DT-abcd]

Dr Phil is divorced. So much for that advice

[@MariaLopez-hc2nm]

@@DT-abcd !no..😁😁😁

[@chriswest7639]

But what happens if your partner is an ass?

[@amayramlew]

Esther - I feel like you are going to change my relationship simply by watching your 7min-youtube clips.. how is this possible? You are AMAZING

[@RP-dy5mu]

Because it's all horseshit and not real advice.

[@emulienka]

You know what I want? I want my needs to be acknowledged and met without having to repeat them every other day. I may ask for something politely over and over and never actually get it and still be the "bad" one in the relationship because I just don't shut up. It is exhausting to constantly ask for the same thing and never be heard. If I can remember what my partner appreciates and likes, then so should he. I also don't have to be constantly reminded of something.

[@LemonOlga]

I think you comment is uncovering the completely new level which Esther fails to address. We did what she said. And yet he still works, browses iPhone while we tidy up dishes, and that always, aleays repeats itself. You can rephrase as much as you like, some men won't even pick on the linguistic difference. It will always remain for them just "the NAG".

[@tambij]

When I read your comment it was like I wrote it myself. This is my relationship exactly! I’m always nagging Him! He gets angry when I tell him what I do want. “He says I know you keep saying the same thing over & over”. I’m trying very hard. But he’s not hearing me!! Ester, what can I do?

[@emulienka]

@@tambij Easy, dump him. I did and it's been the best decision ever. There is a difference between the little annoying things and someone flat-out disrespecting you and not giving a shit.

[@erwintan4746]

@@tambijbe angry and communicate well. Express ur feeling and say that his treatment makes u sad and depressed and do not get respect u need. Say it. i failed to do so and now i am trying to be better

[@NatalieZii]

I’m in the same boat.

[@sf5823]

'Bickering is low intensity conflict warfare' bang on! It's also contraction rather than expansion. 'It may be better to be wise than right' , wow I love the wisdom flowing through, it's so incredibly helpful for all of us.

[@LemonOlga]

My husband wants to be right.

[@yuhanhe2583]

I think you'd be surprised if you actually know how amazing your work and intelligence is. You are helping lots of people ( including me) from other backgrounds.

[@terblanchejordaan3822]

'Needs and Expectations' will always kill a relationship. I can have needs & exceptions of myself but the moment I project this on someone else, then we are in the quicksand of the ego.

[@yanzi8543]

😂yeah sounds fun

[@janika2356]

I needed Matthew Hussey to find a partner but I need Esther Perel to keep him. Thank you so much!

[@leahsalvatore3966]

Janika same same

[@camer87]

Me too !!

[@azeljoyportugues572]

Indeed you said right Janika!

[@Star-vg7ix]

Well said!

[@bbdass4598]

Matthew Hussey is a fraud. He cannot help you get one. It's bull and games. He has not been in a long relationship to give realistic advice

[@elidraganova7019]

I'm a really critical partner and this is like an inner poison that is hard to remove. To create a "wise" pattern when in situation seems super difficult, especially in times when I feel that I'm right. I hope one day I will learn how to do this and not loose another great partner because of this..

[@PelomundoEuSamara]

Have you seen marshal Rosenberg’s workshop on non violence communication? It’s really good!

[@ladykeiaj]

🤯💯‼️

[@dnashj33]

This is so true. It killed my marriage. My wife was constantly criticizing and quarrelling. She loved to fight, and I hated it. It's like an addiction to criticism and bitterness. After 2 years I could take no more and booked a flight to leave for good.

[@MathiasSchreiber-y9p]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[@paulariano334]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

[@MathiasSchreiber-y9p]

amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him

[@paulariano334]

His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@paulariano334]

He is Fatherabulu has great powers, he can help you.

[@MathiasSchreiber-y9p]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked he up now online. impressive

[@troybard2130]

“Do you want to be wise, or do you want to be right? “ Awesome & priceless!

[@ayeshhas5641]

I have taken this from the video "It is better to be wise than to be right".

[@lifebycintia]

Exactly! My ex-husband not only did that, but he also used never in our ways for things that I used to do but not 100% of the time and that’s very frustrating because I was trying my best! After eight years trying I ran! That wasn’t the only problem, but was a huge one! I always say that sometimes giving up is the best thing to do, it was in my case! But divorce is very hard specially if you have kids.

[@CurtisBallard]

Obessed with her. I feel like I can listen to her all day. She's so smart. The advice she gives so often rings true.

[@tperk]

She clearly figured out the difference between gently giving advice and sounding like a jerk. Good for you.

[@MariaLopez-hc2nm]

Me too 😂

[@joyest72]

This hits deep. I couldn't stop biting my nails because part of me was a bit embarrassed and guilty at some parts This definitely opened my eyes up more! Love her talks. ♡

[@carolinebrenning178]

"Do you wanna be right or do you wanna be married?" Best thing ever! Subscribed.

[@geoffoakland]

"It may be better to be wise than to be right" . Pure gold.

[@biancadelarosa7986]

Hello! I understand how you're feeling going through break up I know of someone who will help you fix your relationship issues

[@biancadelarosa7986]

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[@biancadelarosa7986]

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[@biancadelarosa7986]

what sapp right now for help He's indeed a problem solve....

[@biancadelarosa7986]

Chat him 👆

[@Guesswho-x4o]

REALLY well said. From one therapist to another: you really know what you're doing. Your clients are fortunate

[@litalpeled2055]

This video was a revelation for me. I played it first while walking outside. "low intensity chronic warfare" - that made me stop and gasp. I played it again, automatically, and sent it to my friends. Not only are you correct, this has made me pause and identify bad patterns and then CHANGE it. All because of this video. It ignited a mega change

[@MGTesting-ee1vz]

In marriage, our needs keep changing. You are amazing Esther. We need to communicate our needs. Other person can not guess by himself.

[@johnnyusa51]

Wow! I think that I have to see this video twice, because there are lot of gold information in just 5 minutes. From Brazil!

[@killman0130]

Over and over and over...

[@RomnyCDoncamatic]

I had to stop, and leave a comment because that had happened in my relationship, luckily I like to be the one who listen and learn, then I found you Esther and watched your ted talk video and I immeadelly thought "Wow this woman knows what she is taking about". thank you so much Esther, Hugs from Venezuela

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Love this video. Bickering is the #1 killer to relationships!

[@Whispers_of_God-67]

You’re the best counsellor I’ve heard in decades! Counselling stopped down to the level of the broken and that’s why divorce is on the rife.

[@StephJ0seph]

*_"Do you wanna be right -- or do you want to be married?"_* Ooh, that's a good one. 👍

[@LSSYLondon]

Most would choose to be right. Just ask any person in a marriage for 30 years.

[@Mike_Stramaglio]

Sounds like a lose-lose proposition either way.

[@lesw3803]

Thank you Esther……for saving me from myself and my conditioning. I am forever grateful.

[@EnriqueGhijs]

Listening to this has lifted a huge load from by mind. My last partner justified her bickering by saying it was her love-language, and I wanted to respect that but it always left me feeling horrible, worried, sad and resentful. I did feel she tried some times to say things with humour, but I also felt it was always with second meanings, with hidden intentions, because when I learned more about her emotional dynamics, I discovered a lot of unresolved issues that she wasn't communicating in an efficient and clear fashion. And so, she used cynicism, sarcasm and absolute declarations to communicate with me. We learned a little, at least I hope so. From now on I'll definitely point out bickering as a wrongdoing, never as a healthy love-language.

[@lovelyfleur86]

Or maybe you perpetually ignored her needs and refused to listen so she resorted to bickering in desperation

[@EnriqueGhijs]

@@lovelyfleur86 Maybe...

[@trevors6379]

@@lovelyfleur86 Orrrr maybe she was just a cunt? Nagging/bitching/bickering are never a good option, and they'll rarely get you what you want, unless what you want is to hurt the other person's feelings

[@Autumn-rain777]

Perhaps reading the 5 love languages would help. I have never heard of bickering as a love language. Bickering seems to point to the inability to communicate effectively. I would know since that’s an area that I’m working on. I have justified in my mind that I can start a fight because my husband didn’t meet my needs but that’s an immature way of going about it and most certainly did not yield the desired result. This is where I learn that I need to make ‘loving requests’ and not ‘selfish demands’.

[@MJ_X2]

@@lovelyfleur86 I noticed in my last relationship, when my attempts at communicating I needed more time and attention failed, I started picking fights to get that attention. Then he said we fought too much but couldn't accept that me pointing out that he only really emotionally engaged in drama and I had tried very hard to find other ways to connect.

[@gaodacheese4691]

Best relationship therapist on KZbin

[@evelyneouellet1631]

She's brilliant. So much admiration for what Esther Perel brings to relationships. MERCI !

[@Rea-Amai]

“Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?” That was a word. Reminds me of an episode in Insecure where the therapist was talking to Molly and she asked her, ‘do you want to be right or do you want relationships?’ In any relationship we find ourselves in whether friendship, romantic, or familial we have to ask ourselves that question.

[@eurasian55]

I had to watch this at least 5 times with a notebook .. I feel like a load has been lifted. She is the guru of relationships of all kind . this made me think about my aging mother n I.

[@myxomatosis455]

This is Info that people usually pay for, yet, im watching this for free. Thank you to her and for KZbin for this

[@barbarajolie9358]

Hello do you need help ?someone great and powerful who helped me get my ex back and recently without stress and delay

[@barbarajolie9358]

Whzapp him

[@barbarajolie9358]

+( 2 3 4 8 1 5. 6. 8 9 6. 4. 3. 6 )

[@codyrap95]

The world would be such a better place if only people paused for a moment before opening their mouth to think "what do I really want to achieve with this?"

[@mai567]

Oh, this was PURE GOLD!!! And you can apply it to any relationship, not just a romantic one. Thank you so much, Esther!!

[@paolasoriano2867]

"Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?" 😅💯 Thank you, Esther, for this! Need it now more than ever.

[@oscarwilde9581]

Esther, your wisdom helps me navigate petty conflicts with my girlfriend all the time. Thank you.

[@casandrahornerdbamaomnp3046]

Esther, I watched three of your videos last night and again this morning. Can’t stop thinking about your message on infidelity, affairs, and relationships. So profound and thought provoking. I’ve been divorced now for almost five years. I have spent these last five years healing, finding myself after suffering from betrayal by my x husband and redefining my outlook on relationships. Thank you for posting your talks, interviews, and videos on KZbin. So helpful. You’re helping me to take a very candid look at myself, my misconceptions of why people cheat, and how I can walk in truth regarding my personal relationship with someone going forward. So thank you so much for sharing your insight and wisdom. Thank you for being yet another step towards my growth as a person. Facing my fears, challenges and the unknown are all opportunities to grow. Thanks!

[@mustatiikeri]

Your voice is healing me when you say those examples in the correct way ♥️

[@silviar.7438]

As a budding shrink starting my second year in an undergraduate psychology degree I am so happy I discovered you one week ago. Esther, your knowledge, and insight are an inspiration, I am currently reading "Mating in Captivity" and cannot put it down. Thank you for sharing your knowledge on KZbin ! xx

[@PBTKaizen]

“It may be better to be WISE then RIGHT” AMEN ESTHER! Well said!

[@c.l.montoya2972]

This woman knows her stuff! THANK YOU for posting Esther’s teachings.

[@flybirdsmith5406]

“It may be better to be wise than right “ So true and yet so difficult to do!

[@niranjanborah]

broke up with my girlfriend because she has been criticizing me since the beginning of our relationship . and now i am watching this video and thinking if she ever watched this kind of video things would have been different (better ) . she was lovely , cares for me but i couldn't take the " continuous criticism ".

[@ApriliaRacer14]

You are better off. Toxicity over years has a profound negative effect on your life.

[@Liz-in8lu]

Maybe you weren’t hearing her and her needs. I’m dealing with a guy like this now - he thinks he’s never wrong but he reacts so intensely that he doesn’t know how to treat a female!

[@niranjanborah]

@@Liz-in8lu she's my wife now . We got married 3 years ago . Lol

[@Liz-in8lu]

@@niranjanborah that’s great!! I’m glad it worked out

[@akthamahmed8199]

To be honest I have been looking for the answer for the emotional conflicts that show up when my gf just find something that she doesn't like. These words in this video made it so much simple.

[@mettacitta2000]

I see my life flash before my eyes after watching this video. This is the best thing I've seen to help save my marriage. Your description and advice is AMAZING. Subscribed!

[@ohemgeexoxo]

Thank you it’s a great reminder. My mom always taught me this too that in life you need to know how to ask for things and patience lol.

[@EWolaver18]

Criticism produces the opposite effect of what you want- Yep!

[@copperbittner2303]

I learned how to be critical from my mother. I am still doing it. I will make wishes now, instead of criticizing. I'd rather be married than right. Thank you, Ms. Perel.

[@disiluzhund]

All your observations and advice are spot on, Esther!!!! Every video of yours that I watch makes me want to hear more. You are so correct about asking for what you want, but those of us with self-love deficit disorder have to first grow out of the paradoxical belief that we're unworthy while our hearts tell us that we deserve to be loved, respected, validated, etc. It's from that contradiction that passive aggression emerges. We accuse and criticize in an inauthentic act of asserting control over what we fear losing: love.

[@taforth]

Very accurate interpretation of how many people think/act in relationships! Also, I’ve heard a similar statement to what you have said, specifically, ‘ you can either be right, or happy, but not both’

[@vvolfbelorven7084]

Communication Master! I have learned a lot from you, Madame Perel. Thank you.

[@keketsombhele9290]

I wish I came across your content years ago. My relationships with everyone in my life would have benefited greatly from your wisdom. My boyfriend and I fight often lately, I always feel like he never listens to me and he never tries to understand me. It makes me feel like I don't matter to him and that he doesn't care about me. Coming across this has helped me look at myself and what I need to set right in the way I relate to him. Thank you so much

[@TailsMPrower]

Your hair cut and skin look amazing. Can't stop admiring your style.

[@JessieLewis]

My mouth was agape the whole time at amazement 😍

[@trisha-rx1iy]

You're so good that I watch your videos without ever having been in a relationship

[@floryanna]

Your videos are a blessing...your words are so powerful and meaningful :)

[@shirinininini]

the world needs you!

[@dannywholuv]

I love her intelligence, emotional awareness, her hair, the way she looks, speaks, even how she sits on that chair 😍🤤

[@n3on_w1tch]

Damn, you lady are amazing, I begin to feel so much more confident and relaxed by the way you talk and the way you explain things. Thank you for these videos, they do help soften my relationship anxiety A LOT!

[@rissroo4325]

I remember asking my now ex husband to do the dishes before he went to work since he generally started work later. I’d come home after he left, dishes still not done which means dinner took longer to make. I’d ask again, still didn’t do them and no matter how much I asked him and how nice I was and thanked him the seldom times he did do it, it was still rare when he did it. Thinking about it now just fills me with so much rage.

[@1979ritka]

great closing remark "It may be better to be wise than right".

[@chesskw]

"It may be better to be wise than right." Wow!!

[@cara7403]

I need to listen to this daily!

[@NatanJara]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom, this is going to help me to improve my relationship.

[@marygenius2041]

First time I heard of this term I felt so bad that I thought I don't do anything right 😢 I'm always going for constructive and positive relationships, but the constant devaluation brings me to a point where the relationship is over

[@MrAsmej]

"do you wanna be right or do you wanna be married?" :D perfect! We can have truth but argument never win communication.

[@ooops15]

The end is strong. I love that. Is all about finding the right polite words instead of demands! Esther you are the best.

[@yogaunity4797]

👏 I'm so happy to hear from your wisdom Ester. I'm grateful to have found your channel! 🙌💕😘

[@brianna3239]

This! Affection and expressiveness comes so natural for me so Instart to feel unloved and wonder why you don’t do it back. You don’t have to be all over me every second but reciprocation is key and having a reminder that I also am openly loved without limits makes me want to be more loving. and it gets exhausting being the only one who seems to care about the true intimate moments that create those sparks. I can’t be the only one working on them, yet when I stop all those gestures then the relationship gets sour, Nah, sorry it’s for both parties to nurture

[@jasminehouston-burns1691]

"Low intensity chronic warfare" I am going to apply this insight to my roommate situation.

[@suzeb7005]

This woman is too good! She blows my mind seriously! Genius! I will try and put more effort in and keep trying this approach ☺

[@MrElementleader]

Dear Esther, thank you very much for your videos! I came across you and your work when watching a TED talk and have become a huge fan ever since. Keep on doing what you and doing it the way you do please - you will help a lot of people either to lead better relationships or get out of dysfunctional ones. Merci!

[@worldwide123]

It’s better to be wise than right… I love that!

[@princewalters4515]

I said something like this to my ex. It was so crazy I had to ask her if she rather be right than to be happy. It literally felt like a competition and I just didn't get why? - because I always listen, but necessarily agree but I'm open to hear and understand where she's coming from but she just wanna hear ”You’re right” and that was just madness to me. Communication isn't necessarily about agreeing but understanding.

[@lala5061]

Exactly i know what u mean...he want me to agree not just listen to his side...he claims its about listening but that's not the truth!!!

[@lailaempressoftheeast9171]

This resonates with me because I now know what kindness and polite request does not get you, rude, hurtful words will never.... in which case lightheartedly look for another way of getting your need met.

[@ATrueLoveOfficial]

You're nailing it again Esther! :) I too believe that bickering can kill your relationship. I was once like that and good thing I learned and I understand how it will affect both of you and your partner. We can't expect our partners to guess what's on our mind all the times so better be open, ask and tell them how you feel, what you need and what you want. There's no harm on it right?

[@antoinelyons5323]

I so agree

[@nanal2931]

This is a wise talk. I LEARNED instantly. It's so true and immediately gave me wonderful ideas for my future. Thank you so much!! You made my day.

[@TheMmiguelito]

This was Soooo on point and enlightening!! Thank you so much for sharing your gift with us, it is greatly appreciated and needed!!!🙏🏾🙏🏾💙💙

[@katerynaberesneva2817]

This video made my day, not to say my entire life. This woman managed to explain the most common mistakes in a relationship so well, that it makes you feel absolutely relieved and conscious about your emotional state. And since now every time I would like to react the same way I will reflect instead, and will turn my anger or negative comment into a soft and sexy request ) I hope I will be able to do that when my emotions are about to explode 🙉🙈🐵

[@nollatansey8916]

Wow Ester, you just gave me such a refreshing human insight. Thank you

[@randoomly39484]

Waw ! I love what you said at the end : "Do you wanna be right or do you wanna be married ? It's better to be wise than right"

[@jaim6580]

'Better to be wise than right" 🔥

[@slynn7816]

....”it ain’t gonna get you what you want”....... I love this!!! Thank you so much ❤️

[@TECHRRESTRIAL]

Lol it got real when she started talking about the dishes 😂

[@karolinastelmach6845]

"It's better to be wise tha right" - amazing quote, I will use it in my daily life, thanks!

[@quingem83]

Oh my, thanks. I needed to hear this from someone other than my fiancée.

[@nathaliecowong]

Such a wise advice. You're a wise woman. Thank you for doing this that you do, Ms. Esther Perel. Blessings & much love to you and your family. ❤❤❤

[@celsomiranda6293]

Wise vs Right. Magisterial!!

[@JasonLiske]

You have a great way of stating it how it should be.

[@jacquelineconners5249]

Love listening to you! Hopefully I can include this practice in my life ❤️

[@hewasdoa_9631]

I'm 22 years old and this helps ... ALOT

[@noura-alnawwarah]

Basically, stop complaining and start asking politely.

[@aquavisiontarot]

Technique known as Reframing, which can then be followed by assertive communication.

[@mily87ful]

Even if I ask politely he thinks am setting him up ugh

[@Darkmaiki]

@@mily87ful if you do it constantly, he has no reason to believe it anymore....

[@Royal29B]

When you ask politely,they ignore you

[@noura-alnawwarah]

@@Royal29B Then kill ur need. Imagine ur all alone even when they're around. Be a friend & don't expect a thing in return. But, & it's a big but... Don't invest much in them unless they invest in u. 😘

[@monkeyflower954]

I played audio loud enough for hubby to hear, we are in the car 💃🏻

[@DreamChaser415]

I'm always assuming that my man is trying to be hurtful when in most cases he is not...

[@tperk]

I am always assuming the same about my wife and the words she uses. There are just too many circumstances over too many years when it seems she is hurtful for me to be convinced otherwise.

[@asyablake]

Same. I realized from listening to this that both him and I probably think that the other is trying to be hurtful and that’s not true.

[@ruthiea001]

" better to be wise than right". Powerful.

[@777newworldlove]

Being single is so much easier.

[@7saany]

also, much lonelier. Some humans are social creatures...

[@killman0130]

Bieng socially single is alot harder when you are naturally- a one woman man, or- one man woman. This "social" crap is why I got married- it gets old! (As does the drama that goes with it!)

[@JJ-ds2get-her]

That’s true. But people still opened this video, because they wanted to make their relationship work, that means they had a strong desire to have a good relationship, and the pursuit of that desire means this is also something really nice, something that being single can’t have. This is overthinking ... yeah being single is so much easier

[@lauraeeeee]

Have fun dying 10 years earlier and getting eaten by your cats.

[@lumyb9064]

@@lauraeeeee people get sick from toxic relationships, betrayals and divorces. There is this medical condition called "heartbreak syndrome" or "takotsubo cardiomyopathy" where high levels of stress and grief impact the heart in such a way, that without any organic health problems, people suffer some sort of heart attack. Divorced women have 20-30% higher rate of cardiac disease and heart attacks than any other group of women, which is why it's said that the single ladies (that were never married) are usually healthier. Depression and burn-out syndrome are also pretty common among married women, especially those that work in and outside the house. The single ladies post bad break-ups, that witnessed infidelity from partner and post divorce are more prone to health issues. Which Is why I have no rush to get married any time soon lol. I would hate to invest in a man all my life where there are 80% chances of becoming single later in life (post 40-50 where most divorces happen). Married/unmarried is pretty much the same these days. People are just as alone and worse... End up alone later in old age, because we simply lack commitment as a society and always search the next best thing. Might as well avoid It all together.