Stop Giving Family All Your Money!!!

[@MsPeggybopeep]

I really needed to hear this message, thank you! A parent asked for money and I finally put my foot down and said no because they are part of the reason I'm in debt. Been feeling guilty ever since though because African culture teaches you to give your parents everything because they raised you. You also wanna see them happy. That emotional manipulation is real :(

[@Blacklogic]

I'm glad you are free sister. Welcome to the new you

[@aeromedical6750]

It’s always a tough position to be in. Family members often prey upon someone with a good heart and completely manipulate the situation. They will often treat the money you earn as partially “their” money. “You should give me some of your money. You had advantages that I didn’t. You have more than you need and you know I’m struggling!” As the speaker states, you don’t owe anything to your parents/family members. If they made poor choices, those are not for you to compensate them for. People with no incentive to get out of a poor financial situation won’t change.

[@Blacklogic]

Absolutely

[@MissNyPeachJerseyAppleBottom]

Now they asking my kids how much they got saved. I told my kids dont tell.anyone anything

[@ruthern1]

It is emotional blackmail, my mum said she carried me for 9 months when her money demands were not meant like wtf as if i asked to be born

[@jayr6839]

Here’s why you should stop sending money: 1. It makes them lazy. 2. It encourages them to keep asking for more. 3. Their problems will never be solved. 4. They never invest it to make more. 5. They can never help you when you need any help. 6. Most of them are ungrateful, once they get the money they disappear until they need more money again. 7. Just save your money and enjoy life. Stop spending life in your 20’s and 30’s trying to solve other peoples problems.

[@armandorochez6037]

💥 💥 💥

[@Luka23567]

There are many more reasons but just those 7 are frightening enough to discourage anybody with a brain to NEVER give out money.

[@cboy-ou2hr]

Nothing but truth spoken

[@aissers6840]

PRECISELY! 💔

[@mercedeswilkins5566]

Facts 💯

[@ohogue]

What's worse is that when you run out of money, they'll ask what you've been doing with your money as if you have bad money management.

[@Blacklogic]

You're absolutely right

[@sweetiepeach69]

My first salary? I received 70% of a minimum wage and I spent it all on beer, bough on the supermarket cuz it's cheaper... I got herniated belly button, scoliosis, dyshidrotic eczema and I'm the only one responsible for taking the trash out (worn-out semi-truck pieces) because I'm the youngest, also my boss threatening us every single day even with "dinner time cuts"... And I'm enduring it because I want a better future: I just want money to study but THEY WANT HALF MY SALARY even tho I don't even know how much I'll make yet!!!

[@armandorochez6037]

😂😂😂

[@mrs.reeves1006]

Family assume you owe them because YOU "made it". Their lifestyle reflects the decisions THEY have made...stop the madness. Being nice needs a limit. NO is a beautiful word.

[@crilywms24]

Thank you!!

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you for watching

[@justsaying4451]

You aint never lied. Then they have the nerve to start acting funny and crap when you put your foot down and say no. Oh well.

[@Blacklogic]

Truly

[@erikhopkins9488]

Very Beautiful!!

[@marcust.williams7210]

He who loans money 💰 to a friend or a family member will soon lose them both!!!

[@Blacklogic]

Message

[@ulomma6949]

Marcus Williams You are right!!! I have lost a close cousin who refused to pay back money l loaned to her and may have possibly lost my hard earned money. 😳. She now won’t answer my calls.

[@okearrabrantley2568]

Now that was just wrong.

[@mickydeloach7807]

Marcus T. Williams yes sir!!

[@elgivaamoah4269]

@@ulomma6949 And some people will call u bad cousin.

[@BeBeautifulBeYou101]

Sick and tired of family members always asking me for money, no more,

[@Blacklogic]

Get it girl

[@Essays4College]

Just tell them to get a 2nd job. Amazes me how many people refuse to work a 2nd job when they are broke!

[@carroldlaminiwilton2587]

They will suck you dry i know them.very well

[@carroldlaminiwilton2587]

@Louis John yep special africans

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@Henry-Bukenya]

Last year I spent almost 60% of my salary to family members, and still no one appreciate. I sent 10% of my salary to my grandmother for Xmas but she told me that she was expecting a reasonable amount of money. That's why I changed my telephone number. This year I'm going to be selfish than ever before.

[@Blacklogic]

You're not being selfish. You earned the money you have. Ultimately what you do with it is your choice and right

[@missdesireindependance5194]

Your not being selfish.

[@jenjensawyer3191]

I stop giving Christmas gift long time ago I put that money in to my retirement

[@Blacklogic]

Wow

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@LovelyTranquility]

I really wish more parents and family felt this way. There are so many families that try to guilt trip people into thinking kids owe them something. I'm about to have my first child. I REFUSE to let my kid feel guilty for being born. They didn't make that decision. I did.

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@gregoryk6279]

Growing up as a poor man with poor family members,, you starts business ,the business starts to takeoff,,, you become a mealticket

[@Blacklogic]

Exactly

[@ashilicarter]

I’m a meal ticket and I’m the struggling college student in the family. I have two years of nursing school to pay for, trying to get myself a car. But I have to watch everyone’s kid, send everyone money and buy everyone things. They don’t care if you made it or not, they will still take from you.

[@Blacklogic]

Keep striving

[@mercedeswilkins5566]

Say no

[@irenenabitaka7057]

A family can enslave you.

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@markwhittaker6866]

Irene Nabitaka PREACH!

[@oscardom417]

Yup

[@Blacklogic]

👌

[@bigshawn1972]

I know this story all too well and I just stopped this year. Even my kids, I told them the bank was closed permanently. It was a necessity so that I can work on my own future. It simply is what it is.

[@Blacklogic]

+Mr. Lion Exactly

[@bigshawn1972]

Ross World I really appreciate your channel sir. I said that like it was no problem but it hurt to cut my people off and I felt really guilty but your logic is sound, so it really helps me stay the course. Thanks again.

[@Blacklogic]

+Mr. Lion You're welcome brother, it's a hard decision but what is most important is your immediate family and yourself. When tend to leave ourselves out but without us where would our children be, our wives and girlfriends. These are the people who are most important because you obligated to take care of your commitment to them.

[@xtraphilip]

Mr. Alexander 😂😂😂🌺🌺 u told them the bank is closed! 😂😂😂

[@Blacklogic]

Lol

[@1muffinaonly]

I WISHHHHHH all black parents had your mindset. This is exactly how i plan to raise my daughter. She owes me nothing, and I will help her to stand on her own feet, but not struggle. Families should be a team and instead it's every man for themselves. Smh.

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you👏 finally 😊

[@necabibi3558]

I think you should give money to your parents if they're old and in a country where there'ss no such thing as a pension. But It should be what you are able to give them, when you can, not everything. As far as uncles, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, nieces and nephews, and whoever else wants to try it. Noooooooo. ✋🏽

[@Jca-y3m]

White parents mind set. Learn people learn!

[@Oneluv10031]

You are so right sir! Family loves you when you give , the minute you say you can’t , you are the worst

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@momashala2115]

😏😏😏it sucks

[@Blacklogic]

Truly

[@justsaying4451]

So true. Can't even pick up the phone and call to see how you are doing. NOPE. Money or favor only!!!

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@MariaPerez-sb1xp]

I started lending siblings money out of love and faith and all I ever received back was disrespect (by the lies they made up to suck me financially dry) getting yelled at (for not wanting to give them more money) and being abandoned by not wanting to return the money .

[@Blacklogic]

Welcome unfortunately to life in some aspects

[@starchild7820]

I'm going through that now

[@t_n_rasberry8387]

I like how you said it's the parents responsibility to take care of the kids because they decided to have them

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@thicker94]

I'm learning to love my familly from a far

[@Blacklogic]

I understand the mindset

[@dreasworld7444]

Same here

[@percyastronautstatus.8780]

Now we know what it's called......SOCIAL DISTANCING

[@Blacklogic]

Lol

[@Lunablueeyes]

Same, mine live on Ca and Az, Im moving to east coast to get away from them, all they care about is money.

[@billclarke3754]

Wise man. After his money is gone, will the family help him? Self preservation.

[@Blacklogic]

Good question

[@MsFortune21]

A family member who keeps coming for money usually never will be able to help. Its a dysfunctional dependent pattern of behaviour that is ingrained. You cannot change the behaviour. You have to protect yourself from its ill effects.

[@Blacklogic]

Good point

[@tomboydee3326]

Thats so true

[@Blacklogic]

Wow 😳

[@Jaycfl205205]

The Word "NO" is a powerful word, when you tell them no the first time they ask, they will never ask you again, cause they remember asking you the first time..

[@Blacklogic]

Sometimes

[@Jaycfl205205]

@@Blacklogic haha you right!!

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you

[@aissers6840]

How to say No?

[@freeasabird5239]

I love your advice, family members are draining and they have no mercy. I stop sending money to them in Africa this year,and now they think I am acting up,but that was the best decision I have ever made. I am in peace

[@Blacklogic]

I'm glad you are. Thank you for watching

[@ebonywoods4777]

You are so right. My brother wanted a thousand dollars from me and I told him in order to borrow this money he had to sign a contract and he got pissed and disowned me. But he came back and apologized. But he still didn’t get the money.

[@Blacklogic]

I feel you sis, lol. It's not funny but you made a pun at the end

[@doreenakello-dora]

This is the sense of entitlement they feel haha

[@ruthern1]

Ur smart😁

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you

[@ksize3147]

Lord have mercy, that is true wisdom. When you give to takers, they take until you have nothing left to give.....then when you are give out and need help, they disappear..... .... .. Truth

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you

[@sarhaphilcoxonuoha4849]

Same happened to me the people I gave money to open business in my family where first to run I suffer very well thanks be to God I am back on my feet now I know better

[@amandastephanie3584]

They do disappear or right out disrespect you.

[@markwhittaker6866]

PREACH!

[@dreasworld7444]

VERY TRUE !

[@예린-k5x]

Damn man thats true my mother and brother only knows me if they need money😂

[@nassoloaminah7372]

They do that to all of us you are not alone.

[@nassoloaminah7372]

Kati no nokolima bakolima, no kunyiga ne banyiga tebamanyi nti sente ye bwelu tenonyezekeka. Otherwise ensiba bambi. Kyoka nawe savings yo ebera yakugata gata gata

[@timoluseye]

This family issues is becoming a thorn in the flesh for we africans. We need to start educating ourselves on this issue. Ross has said it all, let them sign commitiment , one of my family siad i should go and get a loan from the bank that he will be paying me, while i pay the bank, and i ask him to sign documents for the loan he said No, and voila i too said No , i caant go to the bank. End of discussion

[@Blacklogic]

There you go!

[@GodsChild1159]

I have this problem but I quit. I found out some of my siblings pretended to be in need to get money from me. I later learned they used the funds frivolous items. I love my family but this makes me wonder if they love me.

[@lilmizzije]

African families living abroad constantly have to deal with family back home begging for money like dudeee wtf

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed they do. I have some friends from Africa and the stories I hear are American crazy. Lol

[@lilmizzije]

@@Blacklogic wdym by American crazy?

[@Blacklogic]

Different countries and cultures have thier own type of crazy while to others it's normal

[@lilmizzije]

@@Blacklogic ohhh okaay. because ive heard soooo many stories of people giving relatives money back home to build houses only to later find out the house was never built and that their family has been misusing the money. In one instance, a woman was even poisoned to death by the family🤧. People back home can be so desperate and evil i stg!

[@Blacklogic]

Where are you from

[@LovelyFlyShy]

Going through this with my mom, I slipped up and told her I was getting my back pay soon, then again I was also testing her. Suddenly she needs $300, my brother needs graduation clothes, her phone is about to be disconnected, etc etc!! So I gave her a list of my priorities that needed to be met first and that I couldn’t promise loaning any money out at the moment as I bought furniture. Low and behold, she went off !! Brought up what she was obligated to do, if it even met the bare minimum when I was a child, brought up being there when I was in rehab yet she was part of the reason I was there SMH. I did borrow money from her at one point but I gave her every dollar back and she’s pissed bringing up old shit. It’s ridiculous. She’s so narcissistic. She’s officially cut off!! I am motherless

[@Blacklogic]

Sis I'm sorry to hear that, it's not new family members from every culture use there family for their own means and or laziness especially those from other countries who come over here for a better life. I'm very glad you are aware and woke on this pandemic of those who are your blood who just want money they never worked for

[@LovelyFlyShy]

@@Blacklogic thanks so much man, yeah I’ve been hip to it. It infuriates me how fake, phony and manipulative she is to get what she wants. She will call pretending to care or listen to what I have going on then in the next breath “you got any money?” Like girl No! Tf! Lmfao sorry I get passionate sometimes

[@Blacklogic]

🤦🏿‍♂️

[@laurettaegharevba]

@@LovelyFlyShy Thank you for sharing

[@troytrey]

The only person I’ll help family wise is mother and no one else. She never asks for nothing but I give because I adore her and I love her

[@Blacklogic]

I feel you

[@koladaisi]

Don't be biased.... Anyone from a settled home cherished both parent not one against other... If you are listening to advice it's fine, but turn it round again to your self... What I can see here is just an advice coming from an average financial stabled man (the adviser) to average financial stabled people (the advisee).. No wealthy people can reply to this. How much would you give parent that would run you down when you are RICH? Lol.. Change your mentality...

[@Blacklogic]

Kola you have my perspective totally wrong unless I'm interpreting your message wrong. I believe most people are not average and we have our own unique ways of handling and thinking of things. It's like saying your comment is coming from an average troll who made a comment to a message to people who's family and friends use them, guilt, them into giving them money and the message is aimed to those individuals who give money freely to those who know who use them. Not those who actually need it and will do good by it. A troll who rather looks at a message in a negative connotation than for an informational perspective to help others that may be getting used to stop being used. I'm not saying you are a troll. I just wished people would watch and listen to all the words of the video rather than pick and choose what parts bother them and or parts they disagree with. Knowing the full story in my opinion is better than just a piece.

[@koladaisi]

I understand you bro. Petharps, how do you advice wealthy guy too? Should they leave their family unattended to too? All because they don't owe family any pay back... Let me read from you soon. I Mean Wealthy guys OR Extrimly Rich Guys That Can Afford To Even Feed Thir dogs with the Luxury of this life. So please should they turnoff to their parent or family? I look forward to read you feedback.

[@Blacklogic]

It's basic bro. You can give people money and they can do whatever they want. Receiving money you didn't work for is easy. They key regardless of your financial status in helping someone in my opinion it's best to teach them how to be good Stewarts of thier money and teach how to save and invest while you're helping them. If you want your money back put contingencies and commitment on your money to them. Yes feed them but teach them how to hunt so they feed themselves.

[@nevilleboone8]

My family road my gravy train for 1 year and caused me to get into 50,000 worth of debt. It is easy to fall into this trap, especially when they have so many needs and you have the resources. I learned long and hard lesson, when my money was low they became rude, abrasive and stated how they really felt about me. No money no help, but I'm rebuilding. Great video.

[@Blacklogic]

Unfortunately brother this is how it is when people from different areas of the US or even around the globe from the Caribbean from Africa start to make any sort of money their family members saw it to be leeches into their finances because you're doing better because you had different avenues of how to get some money that they did not take and now you are the breadwinner not only for your immediate family but also for your extended family and now you are there piggy bank you are there ATM and they depend on you and when you no longer can provide cuz you're in a different situation a different financial place you become nothing to them and you learn very quickly how much they care and love for you that it's really not love or care is as simply that you have the mean to provide whatever they want we need to start thinking about the people in our lives and the roles that they play what are their interests the most likely what can I get out of you and when it stops other than to support you or there was just using you.

[@nevilleboone8]

@@Blacklogic Thank you Sir! I will subscribe to your channel and share your expertise and content!

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you sir. Welcome to the family

[@miguelrobb5719]

Damn!!! $50k in debt? I know the feeling. I recently came out of $30k of credit card debt late last year. My family rode my gravy train for a while as well. My sister made a lot of poor choices and always came to me for relief. My mom is horrible with cash as well. The issue with my mom is that whenever I give her something like $700, she Will become mother Teresa and give it away to other people because “god told her to”. I felt that was a slap in the face because it’s like I’m helping other people whenever she does that. I stop helping her out for over a year until 2 months ago I told her this “hey let’s buy you a car”. It sounds crazy but this was what I told her. “My generosity ends here. If you take this car, you will assume all responsibilities that comes with it AND you will never ask me for a dime ever again. I don’t want to hear about your $100 problems again. If you break the car then that’s your problem “. The amount of times I enabled her was WAY beyond a measly $2000 used car. Looking back I probably should have done it a lot sooner. Now she’s free to go out and work more. She did called me up and complained about only having $100 saved up. And I said “you have a working car. Why haven’t you been going to work?”. She responded “because I don’t want to work much because I’m scared of the COVID-19. So I said “well that’s not my problem”

[@nevilleboone8]

Mr @@miguelrobb5719 Good for you Sir, Lesson learnt. Thank you for the valuable information. Day by day as I pick up the peaces of my life I realize that saying No is OK! Thank you

[@DankScole]

KZbin recommended this video when I needed it most. I’m going though the same thing. Spending most of my money on every bit myself. Often spending more then what I have. I’ve been letting my brother live with me for almost 2 years , no rent , borrow money and not pay back, not help around the house, and do his own thing but the moment I chose to say no and tell him he has to get his own, I’m wrong for not wanting a grown child

[@Blacklogic]

Exactly 💯it's time for him to fence for himself

[@willieminor8536]

Thank u so much I needed to hear that

[@Blacklogic]

I glad it helped

[@mskay3345]

That’s my dads family, I tell him it’s nothing wrong with helping but not every month. And you don’t have to take care of your able bodied siblings

[@Blacklogic]

Truly

[@HealthyLiving212]

True story, ever since I stopped giving away my hard earned money, I accomplished so much... I started investing in my music recording and preparing my retirement

[@Blacklogic]

Good stuff brother. It's call freedom

[@responsivepigeons9908]

Will Smith talked about how he gave his family money like thousands and then stopped doing it. I never forgot his story. It was way back when I was a teenager. And I never forgot it.

[@Blacklogic]

💯

[@matthewsound249]

preach...most of the time people are cold your family those who say dat they care about u always point out ur faults tell u wats right but show u the complete opposite and they make u feel bad cuz ur honest?..it just shows u how hard it is 2 trust people nowadays.

[@Blacklogic]

True

[@baminibaum1301]

Contracts mean nothing to family who are leeches! They'll give you some Bull, guilt trip story about I've been sick or I lost my job, Yada,Yada, Yada! Say NO! When they ask.

[@Blacklogic]

Wow. Ok

[@patriciakelley1174]

Written Contracts means everything... When people fail to pay you back, you take them to court. Contract are legally binding. It's good to love your family, however "Business is Business."

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

Learned this the hard way

[@staf0626]

You can also use it as a tool to not loan out more money until the first debt is paid.

[@elbacepeda7134]

I'm not giving my family or friends anything I can't afford to lose. I don't lend money I give it away because the quickest way to cause strife and animosity is to EXPECT it to be paid back. Yeah they BORROWED it but deep down they know damn well they can't pay it back. So why cause issues with expectations of getting paid back?

[@Blacklogic]

Very true

[@amandastephanie3584]

Don't I just love this brother...this is pure truth. Been supportive of my family since I was 16. Just learning to put boundaries after a decade.

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you Amanda

[@tjnaptown91]

Same here

[@Blacklogic]

Cool

[@blackcity8]

Really good

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you

[@danjjice]

This is so me , I reached a point now where I told them go work I don't have money . & Even ignore them .

[@Blacklogic]

😊

[@tone0757]

Great topic man, Dave Ramsey talks about this a lot. He mentions giving family members money causes bonds to break. They often are hard to reach afterwards causing emotional drain. Causes more damage than it helps most times.

[@Blacklogic]

+anthony edwards Thank you Anthony for your comment

[@nassoloaminah7372]

Thank you so much. I educated my youngest brother when my mother passed away untill the university and he became an engineer. But when I told him am broke these days he replied to me that, you are broke but you haven't done anything for your self when he said that to me I cried because most of my savings I helped him to get good education. That's the way how he re-warded me.

[@Blacklogic]

😊

[@stepheniaomehmba2380]

Don't cry my Dear, God who gave you strength when you was paying for his school fees will continue to give you more strength. Never give up for a temporarily setback.

[@koladaisi]

People generally just full of self centeredness. Ok, in your own case would someone said you are not entitled to payback or entitled to he helped back?

[@Blacklogic]

Please clarify your question

[@superslyfoxx1]

Whew...the experiences could tell. You hit it out thebpark with this video. It gets especially hard when your parents are sick and you are the only who is willing to help financially. I could write book on this subject.

[@Blacklogic]

I totally understand

[@dforeman8865]

Don’t draw up no contract JUST SAY NO!

[@Blacklogic]

Options. Sometimes people want to help thier family out but let's make this official

[@ManuelPinner]

This is Why I don't let Family how much I really Make,

[@Blacklogic]

Or make anything

[@percyastronautstatus.8780]

NEVER tell them how much u make....always act like your barely making it....lol

[@nathanbrowne457]

Family's are like letches making us feel obligated to be where they be and contribute and it's just to help them when they do nothing for you then they have the nerve to be mad after all there mistakes

[@staf0626]

Mad props to your son for saying he’ll take care of his own, I shed an imaginary tear too.

[@Blacklogic]

Lol. Cool

[@stallman655]

I make good money now and most of my family doesn't. A few times they sniffed around and I just basically said, "I'm sorry to hear that, let me know how it works out for you"

[@Blacklogic]

Wow

[@evanlittle114]

Thank you for sharing this story. This is exactly the situation I've been dealing with...I've been paying the rent and living expenses for my mom, my grandma, my sister (single mom) and her 2 children. The guilt is intense and I need to set boundaries with them because I'm getting deeper into debt and I don't even have enough money right now to have a baby with my wife.... I want us to prioritize our own family

[@Blacklogic]

Exactly

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

I'm watching every video on this subject until ai exhaust them. And then I'm starting over. I'm sick of being the ATM for people who should be taking care of themselves. I pay for more children clothes, haircuts and only have one and SHE'S A ADULT!

[@B4iBaSlave]

Sonja Teal here’s another one to add to your viewings. kzbin.info/www/bejne/aIikZGprrN6MeqM.

[@cfw5110]

Apparently, this is a much needed video, just look at the number of viewers. I needed it to. Stop, stop, stop giving family your money!

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@sumanbose3546]

I completely agree with you. I've been financially supporting my father for 2 years now. Recently I've lost my job due to this pandemic shit and now I'm facing some financial crisis. I asked my father to lend me some money but he refused.

[@Blacklogic]

Wow!😔 I'm very sorry to hear that, hopefully you are a subscriber of my channel that way you can gain information and Knowledge to help your circumstances. Also in the description of my videos I have my email. I may have information that can help.

[@befree9579]

Peace of mind of not having debt/financial worry is worth it! don't give it up by trying to save others.

[@Blacklogic]

Truly

[@gigiperez4970]

I found this video and I can't take this anymore, my mother is exactly what you said, I feel enslaved and she uses the "you are ungrateful! I am your mother!" And then she uses my other family members to make me feel terrible, I do not shit out money, now thanks to her I am in debt! A big one too! And I am only 23!

[@Blacklogic]

I'm so sorry to hear that. Subscribe to this channel and I will give you the information and courage to take control of your life and be free

[@gigiperez4970]

@@Blacklogic I will and thank you so much for replying back to me 😭

[@Blacklogic]

My pleasure. I'm here to help

[@tt21292]

I want to be so well off that I can purchase in cash my parents a home but how can I do that when I can’t even put back $500....before they need it?

[@marioleal8152]

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT ON THE MONEY ON THIS ONE!!!! The following is the psychological breakdown of how family members including friends end up becoming your personal money sucking vampires. First Phase: when you help them out in the beginning they are grateful for your help. Second Phase: after you initially helped them out from the bottom of your heart, then they begin to drop you a little hints. Third Phase: once you start giving into their little hints, now they enter into the phase of not having fear to ask you directly. Fourth Phase: once they get comfortable asking you directly for small amounts of money, now they become bold asking for larger sums. Fifth Phase: once they break you into giving them large sums of money, now they don't ask .... they begin to demand that you MUST GIVE THEM MONEY!!!! SIXTH PHASE ( the most dangerous phase of them all ) they will threatened to hurt you or they will hurt you physically and mentally until they get what they want from you. Before you know it now you got to get the police involved or move away and disappear from them.

[@Blacklogic]

Wow

[@nadinelouis6210]

That's so true, my mother did that to me.

[@Blacklogic]

Wow. Very accurate

[@Blacklogic]

I'm sorry that has happened to you

[@mercedeswilkins5566]

I don’t give them money anymore. I rather lie and say I don’t have it

[@derekj.russell458]

I needed to hear that. Keep making positive videos. I subscribed to your channel.

[@Blacklogic]

+Derek Russell I'm glad you received the message. Thank you for subscribing

[@DrivingCarey246]

.

[@ntbond7715]

This is the best video 100% it's what happened to me.no more now.

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you

[@RoyalCopper]

Peace! Wise Words Spoken! Couldn't paint a more clear picture! My mentor whom I've lost contact with damn near 20yrs ago laid down game like this on me back in '01. Some profound truth right here. Trust me, family gotta really be hurting bad to ask me for bread and trust they are going to go through the ringer before I depart from my household's bread!

[@Blacklogic]

Thanks

[@EddieJazzFan]

My niece had 50 thousand in credit card debt and wanted to get a personal loan to pay it off and have a lower interest rate. I cosigned....She lost her job a year later and I was left holding the bag. On top of all that after she paid off the credit cards with the personal loan she went and put 14 thousand on the card AGAIN.

[@Blacklogic]

🤦🏿‍♂️

[@PInk77W1]

Expensive lesson

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@AngieMusicArt]

One issue I’m concerned with is one of my family members can’t afford some basic necessities. I have supported this person in helping with groceries, bills, traveling (daily places like doc. Appts.ect) This person and I have had long conversation on options to make more money for them to afford things; but she doesn’t keep her word, won’t even TRY. Her participation in the family is needed and for years her not getting something simple as a drivers license has hindered unity. She wants to borrow car but won’t get a license. Then when the owner of the car is in fear of legal issues she still gets an attitude when the answer is no. Then there is the guilt trip issue. For instance if we are together and we go to a fast food place this person never has the money, then it’s sad to see someone not eat so then I’ll say “well I get it, don’t want you to be hungry” so I help. It’s a lifetime cycle of being a supportive family. I feel abused and I don’t want to be selfish but everything I have is because I went out and worked for it. If someone didn’t work at least I can say I tried. It’s so sad to see this person won’t even TRY. do I just let them starve 🙁😕😣😔

[@Blacklogic]

How would they learn if you always feed them. Starve is a stretch. They will be hungry. In order to learn new things it requires time and maybe that's what they need. So help them by not helping

[@AngieMusicArt]

Yeah, so true. Now that I have been stepping back she’s giving me the cold shoulder. I’m definitely not trying to be a jerk or treat her with disrespect. Our relationship is weird.It’s only since I’ve realized all these years how one sided things are especially in my times of extreme need. There’s no concern like how I know caring family and friendships to be. It’s extra sad cause she’s my mother 😣. I’ve been the mother this whole time to her and her sons. I’ve Just been the one who figures things out. Now my own family has to take priority no matter who I may loose along the way. #confused #hurt. Thanks for your reply.

[@Blacklogic]

No problem, it's difficult emotionally at times but you have to take care of yourself financially first before you can help others or you will never reach financial freedom. You're not working all your life for others but only to around 60 or maybe before but not until you're died.

[@necabibi3558]

Buying someone a meal at a fast food restaurant really isn't that big of a deal even if it's often. Especially if it's your mum. Unless you really can't afford it. But the car issue and not paying for her responsibilities is a joke. Just say no.

[@azizaomar4508]

@@AngieMusicArt "She is giving me the cold shoulder" Good for you. You should give her the HOT shoulder : "NO"

[@aramatoulayedabo3438]

Im planning on stopping giving my mom, half brother and cousin I never met my mom whom I haven't seen since I was 2 years old and never once called or wrote me a letter to say hi untill I came to America and start making money now. Her favorite child. I'm gonna stop giving money for a year and see if they ever call me to say hi

[@Blacklogic]

Just a year. How about stop period

[@romansuzana46]

Rahma Dabo Smh a year?? stop for 2 months and give us a feedback, speaking from experience by the way

[@miguelrobb5719]

Suzana Roman it doesn't even take 2 months. I stopped giving a month ago and they completely stopped contacting me

[@Blacklogic]

Wow

[@romansuzana46]

Miguel Robb Thank you,they don’t care about us

[@davidsims5796]

Been there and done that.

[@Blacklogic]

cool

[@syscoby226]

I dont have a family, they abused me and blamed me for their parents divorce

[@Blacklogic]

I'm sorry to hear that

[@a-jay1758]

sy scoby so sorry about that

[@rosecloezoezoe3971]

Hnmmmmm, I feel your pains, and your DECISION is good as long as you feel HAPPY. But if anyway you are still in PAIN' PLEASE LET it go' forgive them but that doesn't MEANS you MUST be friend with them. BECAUSE "pains" gives "body' illness"

[@Blacklogic]

Wow

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@joyceadegboyega8524]

You deserve 1 time love everything you did for your kids .

[@GailBecker-MSED-CM-Author]

This video is for me! My daughter is the same as your son, but when I had a car accident she stopped going to the mall and movies with her friends. She refused to move into the dorms in college because she felt that she had to take care of me. However, when I scheduled my surgery I bought Obamacare so I could be transferred to a rehabilitation center after my surgery because I refused to interfere with her college experience. That is when she moved into the dorms, and she had a great college experience. She graduated and was working less than a week after her graduation and has her own apartment. As for the rest of my family, you are so right. They only call me when they want something. I have been working since I was 15 years old and spending my money on my siblings, but were they here for me? Nope! Never, ever!

[@Blacklogic]

What a beautiful short story. My hat goes off to you my dear.

[@GailBecker-MSED-CM-Author]

@@Blacklogic thank you!

[@Blacklogic]

You're welcome Gail

[@sharonsang1213]

Good advice. My case is crazy..lol a relative kept on blowing my phone repeatedly even though she knew i am working. Sheesh every two weeks,"i need money" lol i called her out. She never even apologized . She was angry that i didnt help her.

[@kazumicasapao6745]

All Filipinos should see this video, Filipino parents treat their grown ups like cash cows. Once a Filipino college student graduated, expect that you gotta "help" your parents and other relatives who are poor as if we didn't worked our ass off.

[@Blacklogic]

Exactly

[@doyoulikeme8765]

Yes it's like that with all culture family. The way Bruno Mars family did him was crazy. He had to cut his family off because they always ask him for money.

[@americandragon8612]

Sorry but they ain’t getting shit you want money you work that’s how life works lol

[@Blacklogic]

I guess

[@lorikquiin6700]

Bro. Good advice. I worked pretty much free to support my parents for years. Giving up every paycheck. I just dont know what to do. My siblings moved out fast and left me here to do it. And now that my Dad is disabled its getting worse. We had a family business in construction that didnt pay well.

[@Blacklogic]

If you want further assistance please email me so we can set up a phone conference

[@20hustler]

Preach brotha! My mom claim I owe her for her being my mother smh... And she has an amount (which she made up) like I'm in debt with her 😂 . Thanks for the video though bro 💯

[@Blacklogic]

You're welcome

[@Blacklogic]

Wow that's crazy

[@manuelbelmanjodar]

Thank you so much! I will follow your advice ! You are right! It is actually common sense! 💗💗⭐️💕❤️ thank you Blessed be

[@Blacklogic]

Glad I could help

[@Zimbob1201]

I had to repeat parts of this video to remind myself that this is what I need to hear. Say it for the people in the back!

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you

[@nubiansis4440]

Watch it even three times. Take it from the rest of us. Say no. Don't let your empathy and sympathy overpower your self preservation and and self care.

[@hamidravandi2882]

Thank you for your advice you have the best advice call my friend God bless you and your family I listen to your advice and your advice is the best you’re a diamond guy good luck buddy

[@Blacklogic]

My pleasure

[@JazminRojo]

I’m Mexican and in our culture there is this belief that the kids are suppose to give the parents money for the rest of their life. My mother always asks me for money and she has this beliefs so bad in her head. I love my mom so much and I know if I stand up to her or say no she would tell my whole family and won’t talk to me again. And my brother wouldn’t talk to me. It’s literally so toxic. I don’t want to lose them but I don’t want them to keep asking me for money.

[@JazminRojo]

And if I make them “work for it” they would just say I’m being disrespectful lol

[@Blacklogic]

Wow that's so tough

[@doyoulikeme8765]

Have you stopped yet?

[@rah_soj3rsey]

Thank you 🙏🏽 I needed this soo bad. 👍🏾💯💪🏾

[@Blacklogic]

I got you

[@Aleksanderavo]

When I came from home my uncle was on top of my throat because I did not give him money. I know my families love me when I give them money. That is my reality.

[@Blacklogic]

If that's the case then stop giving them money and see there true colors. (In my new edition voice) baby is it love? Why do I feel this way? .......,...

[@Aleksanderavo]

@@Blacklogic I will do that

[@Blacklogic]

😊

[@jpat989]

@@Aleksanderavo It is going to be painful. But you will survive.

[@gdolly166]

You are right

[@austinbuggs2426]

It's crazy how family sits behind and wait for one to go out and make it happen and be the Robin Hood

[@Blacklogic]

Exactly

[@erikhopkins9488]

Ross! This is SO accurate. This is old school! Let's go!!!

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you

[@onlyoneangel]

I think you should still help but be wise. Someone told me ''if they ask for $10 give $1 and say I'd love to give you more but this is what I can afford'' something like that.

[@Blacklogic]

That's a way

[@seventhchild7270]

Thank you for doing this for the black and brown communities.

[@chaitea2425]

Well said😁

[@Blacklogic]

Who's considered the brown community? I understand black people, yellow but who is brown? Hispanics, Indian 🤔

[@bigdreams2366]

I stopped being a charity once I had my daughter. I'm 30 years old i have a older brother who is close to 40 years old. I don't see him often because he's always into some bullshit . The last I saw him was almost a year ago prior to that almost 3 and Everytime I saw him he keeps asking me for money that he doesn't pay back

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed giving money to some people is like crack they keep coming back. So next time teach how to do a budget and save, if he doesn't want to or don't have the time then he doesn't want money and know how to keep it

[@alexanderwitt8562]

Love the video! This makes me feel better

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you

[@360integration]

Heads up everyone. He isn’t asking you to stop loving your families. Just saying be financially smart. Family is still your best assets. We all need each other plus not everyone you give a loan won’t pay back

[@Blacklogic]

You're right and thanks

[@ethanKirsch-b4n]

Yes

[@Luka23567]

I owe nobody money and nobody owe me money! It’s a beautiful life Put yourself in that situation and you’ll be fine. Be extremely careful giving/loaning money to people! Tread CAREFULLY!!

[@JohnBeezy3]

Its tough. Someone I am close to is terrible with money. They came to me a couple of times and asked for money. Although they know I have it, I said I couldn't give them a dime unless we sat down and made a budget for them to try and turn things around. They said their finances are none of my business so they never got the money. They now resent me for it and we barely talk.

[@Blacklogic]

Wow. Truly their lost

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@padussia]

gblueslover2 that is the way my entire family is. And why I have nothing to do with them anymore.

[@padussia]

gblueslover2 Yep. And what makes it so bad oh, they get their own money. It may be from the government, but they get their own money. They're too lazy to get up off of their sorry asses and go work for their money. I had to learn that because I have to work for my money, and nobody will give me any money, then I better keep my money to myself. And save it.

[@padussia]

gblueslover2 the people that asked me for mine don't even mention anything about paying me back, because they're not going to. LOL

[@jamesdixon1090]

You just helped me . I was about to make a grave mistake.I was to give someone a car they dont even speak to me.THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

[@Blacklogic]

You're welcome James

[@gozgreen4838]

Yes bro 💪 💯 this message came to me at the right time, position, thanks bro 💪💯💓

[@Blacklogic]

My pleasure

[@Mariusazuka]

Here in Nigeria, especially Igbo I can't say for other tribe, it is easier said than done, The guilt is like it is imprinted in ur mind and head, That if you don't help them by way of cash ,you cannot be at rest with your self.

[@SheniSwat]

Bro na true you talk oh

[@Blacklogic]

I try to understand cultural ways of people in other countries especially Africa but regardless I know it's a difficult decision. However if you truly want to become financially free, or have goals and things you want to do that require income, and your finances you may or will cut people off. It's not your job to be people personal ATM. So you give them the courtesy that you can no longer finance them because you are financial conservative, or extremely frugal and simply don't have it . Or the amount of money you have, have decrease. This is not a lie; simply a different train of thought. You pay yourself, you pay your bills, you put some in saving and investing and maybe a travel fund and you simply have nothing less. Now that portion is for you but nonetheless it's the truth. Your business is your business and you don't have to tell anyone especially when it's YOUR money. So I encourage you urge you to live your best life and not the guilt take over and be broke and or paying people back home for the rest of your life. Think paying people money that's not giving you anything in return only because of guilt. Mmmmm😣

[@Blacklogic]

Truly

[@nozikhumalo8076]

Its an African problem not a Nigerian problem only, it's the same here in South Africa. You have to decide whether you will give in to the pressure or not. I told my mother that I am not her retirement plan, she is currently employed and I told her that she must makes sure she invests for her retirement because I will not be responsible for her bad financial decisions later on. NEVER give hand-outs to people who are mentally and physically capable of making their own money, rather help them to start a business, let them sell something for a profit. Don't give a man a fish, teach him how to fish

[@Blacklogic]

I agree

[@Lunablueeyes]

I got an aunt and uncle fresh out the joint, asking for money, they 60 yrs old never done shit with they lives.

[@Blacklogic]

😲

[@BetterNBetter]

Yup the video is so true! I’m well on my way to being wealthy and my family sees me coming up and the first thing one family member asks is “so, you’re gonna share right?” Um... did you share in the work it took to get here? Lol I’m working MY ass off to change my life. The only person I have a true soft spot for is my mom for all she’s done for me. But for the most part, the only thing I will share with my family is the tools and resources to create their own wealth. Why have the whole family depend on one millionaire when I can help create a family of millionaires? I learned this from Kobe Bryant lol he told his family to get the hell on too! 😂

[@Blacklogic]

Lol

[@Blacklogic]

I feel you sis

[@onuebe7221]

You are the right, they can’t even help me when I need their help, no calls no messages. But when my sister needs money, calling as if I am owing her money.

[@Blacklogic]

Wow

[@iamlightboo]

been giving my parent 600+/m to live and it's still never enough, but hard to say no without the threat of living on the streets. it's rough because i can't afford to move out on my own

[@Blacklogic]

How much do you earn a month before taxes?

[@iamlightboo]

Ross World i earn about 1100 before taxes every month

[@Blacklogic]

I see. Have you tried to negotiate with your parents to decrease your rent

[@iamlightboo]

Ross World yes but they act like im hiding money from them, and not doing my part. especially since i got myself a license and car

[@Blacklogic]

Hmmm

[@ShiaGirl18]

That happened to me. I was TOLD to pay my brother's tuition AFTER my dad spent the money that was saved for my brother's tuition.

[@Blacklogic]

I'm sorry to hear that

[@Timskees2003]

This video helped me a lot bro!!! You got yourself a new subscriber!!

[@Blacklogic]

Thanks bro, I'm glad you enjoyed it

[@nozikhumalo8076]

In Africa you are basically guilt-tripped into giving family money. It all boils down to financial illiteracy. Parents are NOT owed by children!!!! You give birth to children because you love them and want them to thrive not because you want to be a leech! I told my mother that I am not her retirement plan, she is currently employed and I told her that she better make sure she is saving for her retirement because I will not fund her bad decisions later in life. The best way to help our families is to teach them to fish, not to catch the fish for them. Help them start a business, give them starter cash to sell something for at a profit. NEVER dish hand-outs to anyone who is physically and mentally capable of making their own money

[@tunkara-pu2pu]

I agree with some of your points, but for my parents i rather eat grass than they go bed with empty stomach. My mom go through hell for me to be what i am today.

[@reginedesorme2742]

They are selfish ungrateful people they should thank God because he put them in a situation they can help them Otherwise they will beg people for money

[@Blacklogic]

I believe you've received my message. It's about those who leech not need and don't have the ability to do for themselves

[@Blacklogic]

Can you clean that up a bit I'm somewhat confused on your point

[@deatricerichardson9898]

Brother I needed to hear that I'm so guilty of this wit my grown ass kids my husband left me some money I feel like they r jealous n stay at my ass thanks so very much thank you dam u hit a nerve

[@Blacklogic]

You welcome

[@iwannaquit6200]

Yass!! Thank you!! Why do I have to pay you back because I was born?!

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed

[@laurendinamiller1225]

I had a friend brother is exactly what your saying.. I told him desame thing your saying to him stop giving him money.Or helping him all the time.I dont know where his brother spending the money.I agree with you. This video is a light to me.Yes sir.Just like the bank.They wont loan you unless you got money to pay for it in return.Yes sir I agree..Yes indeed. That's the way to do it..

[@Blacklogic]

Truly

[@dogan6070]

Well said brother.

[@Blacklogic]

Thank you

[@halamadrid0709]

Great advice. It reminds me of what Eric Thomas says, "You aint no bank, but at least the bank gets interest".

[@Blacklogic]

💯

[@LifeIsARiddle88]

Tell me about it. My brother was in Dartmouth College, he went back to Kenya, got married. He told me there was an opportunity in Nairobi for an MPesa shop. I sent him $3850 on top of $2000 I sent him in 2016. He used with his wife.... I don't know what they did with the money. I ask him and he told me " I am not your wife". I tried to tell my parents and they all blame me that ' I was a bad guy'. I am still struggling to find out why he did what he did yet he had been in the US and he knew what we go through. Insane. I didn't faint like the said lady but I cut off the relationship for life. We Kenyans are the worst...dont even talk about Nigerians.

[@Blacklogic]

Wow

[@estherwamuyu2990]

Also going through the same with family member they don't work they wait for me to get a job and send them money back to kenya. I moved abroad about 4 months and they started calling asking for money wah haven't even settled. If you tell them to get a job since they all grow up they abuse you saying since you went abroad you became rude and arrogant

[@Blacklogic]

Indeed that's true. What tribe are you from in Kenya

[@estherwamuyu2990]

Kikuyu from muranga

[@estherwamuyu2990]

They will misuse all your money and once you go home they will laugh at you saying you've been abroad for yrs and yet you have nothing at home. They forget they are the one who misused your money uuuii they are very ungrateful and very forgetful

[@laminage]

Alot of Families feel that their family owes them when they become successful. Rap Stars, Spors Stars, etc. He may have felt he owed them. They were leeches to put it mildly. Sadly I am in that position with "Fam" and no matter how many times I try to explain that I have my own responsabilities, they don't "listen" at all. No matter what your issues are, their issues are more important. He's never learned to budget for himself, and he was never taught, he even faced eviction when he didn't pay and the bailiff was threatening to throw his stuff into the street. This is so brilliant. I've seen African Born Folks who send money to family and they realize that it's not a good thing to do.

[@lavienewyork7459]

I wish I can translate that to my Haitian's family. Lol.

[@Blacklogic]

Lol. You can use the subtitles to do French

[@algorgervais1141]

lol

[@malalarobins150]

Thank u . Thanks so much

[@Blacklogic]

My pleasure

[@malalarobins150]

@@Blacklogic God bless your soul i know you do this to help people