Stop saying dumbass things, Magos Dominus (adeptus mechanicus)

[@boyvol6428]

"for machine is immortal" My old PC: "I don't feel so good"

[@DJl3iohazord]

Pray for its sprit brother. Light the incense and apply the oils. Read over it’s holly tome that is the handbook and see why the sprit is not appeased.

[@penggarisstabilo6399]

My nokia phone: i am immortal

[@notyourdad361]

Machine is immortal and upgrades it's RAM continuously. You force your machine spirit to be weak, but immortal

[@hyperdude144]

Have you performed the Ritual of Cleansing?

[@miguelmf001]

Certainly you aren't applying the sacred oils and unguents while chanting the litanies of preservation. Heretic.

[@GreasusGoldtooth]

The Emperor: You must reject all religion! The Mechanicum: THERE'S A FUNNY LITTLE GUY IN MY COMPUTER.

[@LukeVilent]

* mechanicus ** in my toaster

[@riokollivier]

@@LukeVilentat the time of the Emperor, they were the Mechanicum.

[@theotv5522]

@@riokollivier I like how long the Machicus have been introduced and people still can't remember something as simple as: Mechanicus = Post heresy; Mechanicum = Pre heresy.

[@silbernehand_]

Well, they have proven, that it is true and that their ways work. So each machine should have a machine spirit.

[@LukeVilent]

@@theotv5522 I like how long ago Abelian groups have been introduced, and people still can't remember something as simple as Abelian = commutative, non-Abelian = non-commutative.

[@Darksky1001able]

I love the increasing volume of Noosphere as he speaks. Almost as if The Omnissiah is encompassing the area.

[@then00brathalos]

Holy omnissiah drop the bass

[@nocturnaljoe9543]

@@then00brathalos Brootaly hard omni drops.

[@g_h_o_u_l]

*The Omnissaiah Speaks!*

[@vid101.]

​@@then00brathalosDrop the church organ

[@jeremytitus9519]

@@vid101.organal bombardment

[@soulie2001]

The fuckin "BZZ WOO" still makes me hype

[@MrThegravin]

it made me so happy that it had its own subtitles

[@kelborhal2576]

It had no right to go as hard as it does.

[@unifiedhorizons2663]

same

[@MuhammadAli-ul6hn]

"But I am already saved" that's just another level of badassery .

[@Guilty2805]

No it isn't tf

[@Fulgrim_The_Phoenician]

@@Guilty2805 Shame that you cannot feel the blessings of the Omnissiah. Your soul has become lost and invaluable but not me....For I am already saved!

[@steaksoldier]

@@Guilty2805 aww is the little fleshling mad?

[@Guilty2805]

@@Fulgrim_The_Phoenician Tbh i completely like the idea of turning myself into a cyborg like Adam smasher in Cyberpunk, but the reason why I'm trashing on this is because Midhammer 40k is the final boss of all nerd stuff and the fans are annoying.

[@quarantinezone2844]

Haters be annoying, fr. Cyborg like the shallow Adam Smasher. Chad Rylanor would be disappointed in your decision. Ave Imperitor, Humanity first.

[@liamoliver5848]

Honestly 40K could become as big as Star Wars if they made movies.

[@SixshotRevan]

If the movies were made faithfully to the source material I'd agree with you, but do you really expect Hollywood to NOT meddle with what they'd call an "untested property"? I think they would water it down heavily to try and appeal to a mass market. Wiping out what makes 40K unique in the process. Henry Cavill is making a 40K Amazon series, though. He has a better chance than anyone else of making it properly.

[@vothbetilia4862]

True, BBUUUUTT, you'll have sjw tards trying to complain about the lack of woman and trans shit and how no one is friendly wahhhh.

[@theone-tg4ey]

If they didn't ruin it

[@Elia-Burani]

You can't mate, the empire is basically na*i germany. They will never make films with them as protagonist. And if i have to be honest the last books ruined sanguinus and angron, so maybe losing so money will make them wake the duck up.

[@vothbetilia4862]

@@Elia-Burani lol bro said ruined

[@temp3608]

''The machine is immortal'' Tech priest trying to update to the newest version of windows

[@technic1285]

Tech Priest makes his own kernel/os/everything. Tech Priest basics.

[@grilionreal]

If I ever lose a limb and get a robotic prosthetic, this will become my whole personality.

[@sararoszkowski2915]

as it should!

[@Isalan88]

Ya know, I really don't want to lose a leg or arm and end up with a prosthetic, but I'd love to be able to roll this speech out once in a while, so I guess it wouldn't be all bad.

[@TerranPlanetaryDefenseForce]

If my prosthetic was made by a high ranking tech priest, I would gladly give an arm.

[@then00brathalos]

@@TerranPlanetaryDefenseForce I hooked up with my sacristan/magos, he could rig you a mechanical leg that could turn into a high powered lascannon powerful enough to pierce through a chaos dreadnought armor, its a bit pricey and the augmen---(ahem) transcendence process would be.... challenging to say the least.

[@emildegas4213]

Ngmi

[@TheGreatThicc]

​@@then00brathalosif the Scotsman from Samurai Jack was in 40k

[@bonogiamboni4830]

When you lose your arm and leg you say the speech of that blond guy with sunglasses from mgs 5 ("the body i've lost, the comrades i've lost" etc) then when you get the prosthetics you switch to this omnissiah speech.

[@monkeybutt621]

i want a romantic comedy of a normal girl dating a tech priest

[@manlyman2624]

“Hey girl, are you a dump truck? Because I want to lobotomize you, chop off your legs and stick the top half of your body onto a tracked war machine”

[@Kez_DXX]

Even better, an Italian girl. That way, it'll seem like they're having the most intense heated discussion as they both "boopa-dee Bappa-dee" at each other, but the tech priest is completely misunderstanding what the girlfriend is saying in Italian while she's misunderstanding his R2-D2 speak

[@mastercoolguy2809]

So let’s see, the tech priest forgot or couldn’t afford to block his emotions so he ends up falling in love with a girl that he deemed worthy of receiving enhancements and she…. Likes him for some reason but has to constantly refuse the so called “enhancements”. Good plot, I’d watch

[@HydratedBeans]

We need more comedies set in these sci-fi universes. I'd love an Office Space set in Star Wars.

[@HydratedBeans]

@@mastercoolguy2809 Same

[@thefriendlyknight]

I've typed the speech so many times, my phone's autocorrect almost knows it by heart.

[@Iknowhowbadthisnameis8828]

Same lol

[@GarkKahn]

I'm already saved as well, for my phone is immortal

[@Iknowhowbadthisnameis8828]

@@GarkKahn same

[@gottagofastest]

The machine spirit within is pleased

[@spencervance8484]

Yeah ive memorized it as well. Its pretty good

[@jaketaft7533]

I am viciously torn between wanting big budget 40k films and wanting it to be left the fuck alone by Hollywood and it sucks because I know if I get what I want it'll end up like Marvel where it just gets bled dry. Its like being a Berserk fan, you just never win.

[@forgethought8174]

Truth

[@hisokamorow6709]

Berserk Fan be like: "Haven't you heard the good news, brother? We just need to keep *S T R U G G L I N G*"

[@macdarby9926]

Even in death we serve

[@Rexorazor]

It's is coming, brace yourself.

[@kred4849]

"The Chaos Space Marine is standing right behind me, isn't he?😬😏"

[@wulf1046]

Oh what's this, my weak organic biomass is unplugging your toaster girlfriend

[@Iknowhowbadthisnameis8828]

I'll Say that to you in 50 years when you're on Life support

[@binithevessel5068]

Hopefully your gf and family like their new labor servitor roles

[@elterrestresinmanos5078]

@@Iknowhowbadthisnameis8828 We have the blessing of dying before the absolut terror of a huge, meaningless and apathetic universe crush us beyond recognition. I see this as an absolut win

[@Iknowhowbadthisnameis8828]

@@elterrestresinmanos5078 you see the universe as an empty void of despair. I see it as a blank Canvas with Infinite posibilities. We have different mindsets, and thus you consider a blessing what I consider a curse.

[@elterrestresinmanos5078]

@@Iknowhowbadthisnameis8828 When did i say anything about despair?Universe IS huge, IS apathetic, IS meaningless. But that doesn't mean we have to just fall into despair. Is precisely because is meaningless and huge that it holds infinite posibilities. Is precisely because is apathetic that we have freedom. But is still to much burden to carry as a human being... or as any creature, really. We're limited for something. Nothing is infinite in this universe, not even universe itself ¿Why do you want to live forever, just to see how everything you know vanish in the void of times?

[@Voidsterrr]

when i suffer from the smallest from of physical pain:

[@AppalachianCryptidDoge]

he makes complete sense to me - *shrugs mechanically*

[@ivanelias3916]

BZZZZZZZZ WOOOOOO this sound makes the machine spirit happy.

[@m.farizakbarhutasuhut3074]

"For the machine is immortal" Every maintenance personnel ever: "Fucking bullshit!"

[@iamsushi1056]

The Engiseers are truly the life of the Adeptus Mechanicus

[@The_Distortionist_Waits]

The maintenance personnel clearly did not appease the Machine Spirits well

[@ArchiMagos_Toro]

Blessed be the Omnisaiah, leave behind the weakness of the flesh, embrace the purity of the holy steel

[@manlyman2624]

Bro all it takes to destroy your entire civilization is for one stupid technician to flip the wrong power switch

[@happytomato1135]

​@@manlyman2624 So basically today's Earth? 😅

[@manlyman2624]

No all you need to do in todays earth to cause a complete societal collapse is put all the released records of U.S operations in Central America on CNN, trust me if people actually bothered to find out what the Fed was up to from 1945-1991 there would be a bloody revolution

[@grahamshaw9873]

Praise the Omnissiah, brother

[@tech-adeptzeth1648]

May Omnissiah guide your footsteps on the Path of Knowledge my kin.

[@smattonellus8354]

Mechanicus is hands down one of the best 40k games, I do also recommend battlefleet gothic armada

[@sparkyspinz9897]

Gladius is a favorite of mine too. Civ meets 40k? Yes please

[@vothbetilia4862]

Battle sector is also great, and soulstorm

[@ghostplays2766]

Deamonhunters is also great.

[@grahamhill676]

​​@@ghostplays2766 Daemonhunters is good but it has a lot, a lot of issues, more than the other games here

[@mankyscotchgit4986]

Boltgun is an absolute banger, and contains many references to Space Marine, the ultimate grimcomfy adventure.

[@Egirl_Slayer]

This is eargasm at its best - we really need a warhammer 40k asmr honestly

[@mirceazaharia2094]

He has a skull drone, an absolutely LIT soundtrack and makes a lot of sense. Your argument is invalid, bio-hole.

[@vaenkhar7236]

"bio-hole" for fuck sake u killed me there x)

[@Iknowhowbadthisnameis8828]

Servoskulls are lit

[@tristanemery8748]

​@@Iknowhowbadthisnameis8828 it is supposed to be quite the honour to be turned into a servoskull as well :D

[@Iknowhowbadthisnameis8828]

@@tristanemery8748 It in fact is a great honour

[@tristanemery8748]

@@Iknowhowbadthisnameis8828 💀👍

[@konholio2]

"Certainty of steel" after seeing the underside of my car, im quite uncertain about this

[@andrewlynch4126]

Oxygen: exists Steal: “I’m in danger”

[@Sexywrm]

Was waiting for bender to pop in at the end and say “Meatbag” and laugh.

[@hurrsia]

Mechanicus is just one of the best games out there. And the intro cinematic is so clean and efficient. Like a good machine should be.

[@CzechuX]

Yesterday my tooth broke completely and I had to go to the dentist. I think I just found myself a new religion.

[@WombatDave]

Welcome to the fold.

[@zactheg]

Hearing Children of the omnissiah is what finally sucked me into the lore. That ...and henry cavill.

[@dylannix4289]

Can’t wait to see what he’s cooking up with that WH40K show that’s been rumored

[@AlexzanderVL2]

bro it sends shivers down my spine haha, well done! that IS the soundtrack of 40k

[@TheShadowForgeStudio]

I love how Noosphere is playing even before the Magos begins speaking, normally we don’t her anything till the girl is done speaking. Goes to show you the power of the Omnisiah, even memes can’t resist it.

[@breadstick4458]

It just comes from his body, he has installed a Bluetooth speaker directly into his chest

[@RodrigoWill123]

Dude has a point

[@unnamed1613]

Even the Emperor admited he needs the machines of the AdMech and allowed them to keep their religion and govern their own worlds/systems. He kinda fucked them over with the later, thou.

[@aaronl2500]

When he said Bzzzzzzzz wooooooooooo, I felt that

[@quarantinezone2844]

0:05 Wonder when people will sit back and comprehend that given enough time and advancement. Society will be divided between two factions such as these. The Biological Purists and the Technocratic Survivalists.

[@thenecromancer8805]

Ironically thunder started roaring outside my house once the Magos Starting the speech. Even nature knows the purity of the machine.

[@Nutellla]

The thing js that both metal and flesh decay but both can be repaired

[@insertname9736]

True. But many people lack the intelligence to understand this. Instead, they mindlessly spam this shıtty quote.

[@iexplodonateri7378]

"The strength and certainty of steel" My Divine Enforcer would like a word

[@adeptusmechanicushyspasist3529]

forcefully convert her flesh into machine! then she would know the blessing and certainty of steel!

[@Juxta...]

Yeah, make hem a servant for the forge of Mars

[@manlyman2624]

Or just you know figure out how to have an actual conversation

[@katanah3195]

@@manlyman2624 You're asking a tech priest to actually talk to someone? Yeah, that’s not gonna go well.

[@Izayoink_Saccuy]

Ad Mech grindset

[@spartanx9293]

The magos biologist is a direct slap in the face to that very quote

[@MagdaGust62]

Kind of, the flesh is still weak but can be stronger if by the Omnissiah, as a well-oiled machinery can be

[@then00brathalos]

the main job of magos biologist is to identify the weakness of biological beings so that they could enchance or kill them also reminder magos biologists also have machine augmentations.

[@spartanx9293]

@@then00brathalos the thing is they prioritize biological enhancements metal ones they do not believe metal is stronger than flesh besides this is a setting where one of the main threats to mankind is entirely biological

[@BridgeTROLL777]

@@then00brathalos magos biologists often use biological augmentations, synth muscles etc. They dont see flesh inherently "weaker" and something to be discarded. And their main job is not just identifying weaknesses of the flesh...... but their interests are often found a bit eccentric by more traditional mechanicus cultist.

[@insertname9736]

​@@MagdaGust62flesh can be weak if it's not enhanced, just like metal can be weak if not upgraded and maintained. The mechanicus quote is stüpid.

[@2b248]

When you get a tooth implant

[@summablasphemia]

it's even better when you realise it's the skull talking

[@abaddon130]

How?

[@then00brathalos]

@@abaddon130 magos dominuses often have so augmented vocal cords to speak in machine (lingua technis) that they need a servitor to translate it back to low gothic

[@thatonerandomguy2774]

"For the machine is immortal" The DS I've had since 1st grade: 💪🤖

[@Shadowsearcher64]

I love warhammer mechanicus, but its soundtrack goes HARDER than any other game I have played.

[@XBOPO6YIIIEKnet]

At this time, a Normal Girl is when you tell her that you are a Tech Priest; *Okay. Bring here what's left of the burned tomb. We'll make armor out of necrons.*

[@aesthetics8230]

Magos Biologis: *GYM MUSIC*

[@159tony]

Magos biologis: the flesh is meant to be improved, not replaced! Observe! *Creates the eversor*

[@robbie7150]

"craved the strength and security of the steel" Adeptus biologicus: "the human body is the most pure machine ever built"

[@techpriest5262]

There is only weakness in the flesh In the Machine we have strenght and truth

[@annatardlordofderps9181]

She says hes not making sense but it seems pretty clear to me... the flesh is weak.

[@techboy8811]

Bless the Omnisaiah

[@shockwave6213]

On the contrary, these words may be the most wise and sensible things one could ever say.

[@VictorIV0310]

You call your body a temple but mine runs on TempleOS.

[@KingLich451]

best

[@blackknightz5036]

>Me waking up after a night of sleeping and still feel like shit

[@33482]

EMP's: *Bonjour*

[@denisioan6528]

Praise the omnissiah

[@SanguiniustheGreatAngel]

There is no truth in flesh, only betrayal." "There is no strength in flesh, only weakness." "There is no constancy in flesh, only decay." "There is no certainty in flesh but death. -CREDO OMNISSIAH

[@azir64]

Beat dropped harder than the Blackstone fortress in the 13the Crusade.

[@vergil8833]

Even in death I serve the Omnissiah

[@liamhollands344]

Gotta love how the adeptus mechanicus strive to be living toasters, and talk about the "certainty of steel" yet if an adeptus mechanicus was told to do maintenence on a toaster he'd flick holy water over it, slap it with a wax seal and possibly make a human sacrifice to it. If it wasn't for the machine spirit being a tangible force of nature in the WH40K universe, everyone would be resigned to eating plain, untoasted bread within a matter of weeks.

[@thebighurt2495]

My favorite part about the AdMech is how their entire religion is basically Atheism believed in *so hard* it looped back around again into religion

[@azir64]

This comment is so underrated

[@thebighurt2495]

@azir64 The ",Machine God" isn't a god made out of machines, but the God *of* machines. Alternatively, it is the very concept of technology itself. The "Machine Spirits" are either mundane mechanical faults from shoddy manufacturing or low-grade AI they've Gaslighted themselves into attaching religious significance to. The original Martian settlers were forced into augmenting themselves to survive when their terraformers failed. Wrap all this up all up with 10k years of sheer, endless desperation (and founding out that Wizards are very, very real) and it's understandable why they'd turn religious.

[@MaticTheProto]

I want the mechanicus speech with that music as part of a 40k series! Preferably yesterday!

[@richterdelgan123]

Ah yes... the typical AI developer monologue

[@LamborghiniDiabloSVPursuit]

The Chad Magos Biologis: No machine may compare to the greatness of the holy human form.

[@AEGISDEFENSE]

This is making me want to make a new army and play 40k again…Admech certainly.

[@Karl-Heinz-Faeller]

Thanks for the "decaaaay" @ 0:30 - My friend didn't hear it - I was going insane, I knew that word was off, I knew it!

[@regrettithesadspaghetti8521]

Need his speech sampled and put just before a sick drop, you music inclined people please do your thing🙏

[@KarlDRG]

I’m gonna try to invent integrated prosthetics just so I can use this speech every so often.

[@whythelongface64]

Maybe the real machine spirit were videos we watched along the way

[@theone-tg4ey]

omnisiah please help.

[@isaackellogg3493]

I have no mouth, and I must praise the Omnissiah!

[@anomonyous]

Blessed be the Omnissiah.

[@Mightyburrito-st6lb]

When you get an iron lung

[@SomeoneYouDontKnowOfficial]

Just realized this is basically the speech from Watchmen

[@carloalbertoranzani8041]

Quick Dominus, play me off *Dominus taking those blessed organ pipes for a spin*

[@noobovsky420]

I BEGGED FOR THE PURITY OF THE MACHINE GOD

[@user-fk8cx9xx4k]

Музыка просто прекрасна

[@42kevinkuo52]

Did any one rewatch is many time just for the "bzzzzzzzz Woooooooo"

[@CommunismIsCringe]

Funny thing, their machinery blinks out before their bodies do.

[@toniodu371200]

Mecanicus : We fuse your soul to the machine god and make you slave of it Dark Mecanicus : Same... Mecanicus : TECH-HERESY Dark Mecanicus : No U - Circa Horus Heresy

[@CottonyAlmonds]

Magos Biologis: "Actuality, you're body is amazing in how it works, at least on the cellular scale. Ignore my contemporary here"

[@darthmaul5543]

I need to know the choir song that was playing that shit slapped

[@kincaidlucky2867]

Noosphere from Guillaume David, from the mechanicus game But fr all the tracks from that game slap

[@shawzie1916]

Even in death I serve the omnisscia ❤

[@JC-oq5ex]

Thank you for this. Now my gf can see it's not only me.

[@seankelley9347]

This goes hard af

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

“Stop saying dumbass things, you still obviously rely on flesh but have somehow deluded yourself into thinking it’s gone”

[@michaelterrencefernandezli6688]

Redditus moment

[@weareharbinger914]

I really enjoy the subtitles on sound effects.

[@Kez_DXX]

How can this game's soundtrack be described? Phenomenal, sure, but what about genre? Cathedral dubstep?

[@_Djura_]

The woooo kills me every time

[@High_Tech_Priest]

We are one

[@RicoRaynn]

They probably will be the ones to design something which saves people. But since there is a 95.8% chance AM caused the issue in the first place because they were fucking around with something they shouldn’t have, it kind of cancels each other out.

[@then00brathalos]

you dig up old tech of a superweapon > you awaken some ancient horror (necron, dark age of tech creation etc...) > ancient horror kills a fuck ton of people > you research the stc > use old tech to kill said ancient horror > repeat

[@KarolusTemplareV]

Honestly, they can't win in a sense. Planet discovers a cure to all diseases? Nurgle uses all it's power to fuck it up into nonexistense. For example. Even when they come up with truly good shit something happens.

[@mehmeh1234]

"From the moment I understood the weakness of steel, it disgusted me. I claimed the strength and certainty of flesh and bone. I aspired to the purity of the blessed biomass. Your kind claim to your steel as if it will not rust, decay, and fail you. One day, the steel that you called a fortress will rust and wither, and you'll beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved. For the biomass is immortal. For as we existed long before you were even an concept."

[@oneowen]

Average SCP 079 enjoyer

[@dipereira0123]

Praise the OMNISSIAH!!!!!!

[@CombatKing1237]

Praise Be To The Omnissiah!

[@jessearana]

Makes sense. Women benefit from Weakness of and towards The Flesh in a way Men NEVER WILL!!! The Purity of The Blessed Machine WOULD terrify them!

[@laerte5983]

Me, a world eater : why you not bleed ?

[@ToTheNines87368]

That sound track is so based

[@dgsch8427]

What is called??? I need to know

[@doometernal9427]

​@@dgsch8427 noosphere - mechanicus

[@CupidGaming522]

This voice line always hits way too hard, it appeases my ear drums.

[@komisarzludowy8442]

I reamember when i asked my girlfriend to watch blood angels with me. She lasted only 2 episodes.

[@LordNodim]

when I saw 4 "a"s in "decay", I couldn't hold the laughter anymore