stop treating yourself like trash

[@paulharkins6402]

Can't believe this video only has 10k views. Lost my dad 12/23/21 and came across this on Christmas of 2024. I would usually say it has a lot of stuff I "needed to hear", but it went beyond hearing for the first time in a long time. Was taking notes and rewinding the video to truly hammer the points home when my mind felt tinges of distraction that would pull me away from internalizing the messaging. Thank you Dasia!

[@fionaodoherty7029]

Legit took diligent notes on this. Never delete this

[@sageholla]

What is this unfamiliar feeling? … oh, it’s hope! Thank you! !!!

[@DasiaDoesIt]

It’s that tragic optimism baby✨❤️

[@kinkyyogi]

You scream black girl magic. Keep doing what you're doing Dasia❤

[@DasiaDoesIt]

🫶🏾✨❤️ thank you!

[@handlemonium]

*"Too many good days? Might as well mess 'round and have a good life!"* Take chances! Make mistakes! ~ The Frrizz

[@edmundfreeman7203]

I've been working a lot with a system called Internal Family Systems. The basic idea is that we can think of ourselves as collections of sub-personalities. If there is one that is causing us problems, we can converse with them in a spirit of curiosity and compassion. All of these sub-personalities developed to protect us in a moment, and are still trying to protect us even if their efforts are making our lives worse.

[@melanova5]

Honestly, IFS was a huge eye opener for me. Knowing I could befriend those parts and tell them "thank you for trying to help, I got it from here" has helped loads with shadow work. Like, I don't have to beat myself up for trying to protect myself to the best of my ability. I can just acknowledge what happened with compassion and let go of coping mechanisms that no longer serve me 🙏 thank you for sharing this, this is the first KZbin comment I've seen to mention IFS in a video that's not specifically a therapy video on IFS 💚 I get excited to see people talking about it lol

[@SquidRaven]

I'm sure you get this all the time, but you have such a comforting and reassuring vibe to you. I don't sub to you and idk why I got a notification for this video, but I'm so glad I did! I won't bore anyone with my sob story, but I needed to hear this. Thank you so much. One of my favorite students has the same name as you, it's beautiful. Have an amazing day 🤩

[@SquidRaven]

I lied, I do sub to you! I subscribed when you were doing hard 75 and forgot somehow. So good to have you pop up on my feed again 😭

[@DasiaDoesIt]

Thank you so much for this! I love sharing the things that help me , (life’s too short for us to try and figure stuff out on our own) I used to keep everything inside constantly doubting everything but realized every time I did share, at least one person told me that they needed to hear it. It was what made it worth it. So thank you. For being my one. ✨ P.s: None of our sob stories are boring. They are real and they make us, the trick is carrying them with us in a way that doesn’t keep breaking us further.❤

[@lucylulucifer]

Subscribed originally for the roller skating tips, but I am absolutely here for the self improvement videos as well. Thank you

[@DasiaDoesIt]

Thanks for allowing me to be a full person❤

[@sheindyone]

Same 🤣❤️

[@MariAlistineMoss]

I like this because it helps a person dealing with internal/emotional pain and understand how to go from being a victim in concrete steps than rather than to wallow in victimization without denying the actual trauma etc. I would add that when it comes to family, unless there is deeply unbearble trauma (rape, abuses, etc) within a family, your family is your family, it's just that sometimes it is better to love people from a distance unless or until things can get better. I would also add that it is okay to believe in reparations when there is a responsibility on people such as Government or other entity to do what is required in order to remedy a situation.

[@DasiaDoesIt]

@@MariAlistineMoss you’re 100% right, I love the addition about understanding it’s okay to love family from a distance. Sometimes we think it’s our responsibility to hold so tightly at the expense of ourselves. ❤️

[@botaunico]

I watched this twice and took notes the second time. Underrated content for sure. I appreciate you.

[@adrienneseldon8544]

I watched this a couple months ago. I am now back in school getting my masters and started being consistent with yoga and meditation again. Gonna rewatch because I still have some work to do!

[@125loopy]

@@adrienneseldon8544 congratulations!

[@adrienneseldon8544]

@ thank you!!

[@ninaimajo6817]

Every time I hear you. It’s a “wow” on so many levels. Gratitude for you and all you share! Yes, at age 77, these “ dry bones” can hopefully live again. The journey isn’t over! ❤❤❤

[@ladydpw]

I did this a few years ago and just internalized the final step today. A close relative tried to engage with me from a traumatic place and it was strange to say, "Oh. That was my old mentality. I suppose I learned this from them. I'm not in that place anymore and I love living freely, in my happy vision."

[@soy_sweet99]

Omg i clicked on your video thinking you were me. We can be sisters that’s crazy!!! You are beautiful and kicking knowledge. I subscribed

[@jmaessen3531]

Newly subscribed and sick of my own shit so thank you thank youuu! Love this. 👏🏻 💕

[@clarissagarvey7080]

What a timely video for me! I learned a victim mentality growing up. I eventually realized that I needed to take responsibility for my own happiness and not mentally blame everyone around me for everything I disliked in my life. My life improved so much from that mindset shift. But as you noted, it's easy to slide back into externalizing, and takes routine work to have the mentality you described if it's not your default. I realized this week that I was starting to again slide into a negative, victim mentality about my life and particularly work. I watched this before going to the park to meditate and work through that, and your framework helped a lot with structuring that mental work. Thank you!

[@Angie-fx6jn]

Just wanted to say a big thank you for your words of wisdom. Currently, estranging from my parents has been a difficult process, and I didn’t realise how much I blamed them for issues I had in my personal life. I’m really glad I found this video, it’s helped me come to terms with the parts I don’t appreciate about myself. You’re so wonderful, I hope you continue to post consistently, and reach much success with your channel! God bless you sister 🥰

[@VIPVICTORY88]

I’m not even 5 mins into the video and she already spittin

[@439801RS]

I'm doing step 1, my vision is permanently getting out of here, so I'm trying to push my dissatisfaction to the extreme so I have no other option

[@debbieg8951]

I was drawn to your channel because a commenter on another channel mentioned your Project 2025 video (which was excellent, by the way). And now I’m over here watching this video, and I gotta say, this one is awesome too - so much good advice here. I can already tell that your content is having a positive impact on a lot of people, and I applaud you. Keep up the good work!

[@Superman216100]

Thanks for this video and all the content you make. Seeing you choose tragic optimism and hope is contagious and extremely inspiring

[@lajoy8]

Whew… this is deep… I have to take this in two parts. Thanks Dasia ❤

[@DasiaDoesIt]

✨ we got this boo. Thanks for being here.

[@Inunity2020]

To be honest, I was soo waiting to see if you were going to be brutally honest w this one. My first reaction to the question was…”You’ll have to realize at some point, when it’s all said and done. No one is coming to save you”. When you let settle, get up and do something for yourself. This is where all that “self love work” comes in.

[@SittingPrettyH2T]

I found your video on project 2025 yesterday and i’m subbed and 3 videos in. love your content 🤎🤎

[@handlemonium]

Saaaame 😁😊

[@Gh0stly_Goat]

a 💎 in the haystack this video is the best forgive my bad metapor/idiom my brain never gets them straight

[@jace9143]

The timing of me finding this, especially step 6 was perfect and very needed. Lately Ive been finding myself angry and resentful torwards my mom for minor annoyances or even nothing at all and its just been old wounds that never really healed or me projecting my own insecurities onto her and taking her responses as a self fulfilling negative feedback loop. Don’t really know how to stop this but this video definitely waked me up from what i was doing and the mindset I was in so thank you so much for this video.

[@grixxly864]

I needed to hear this today. Thank you. 🙏❤️

[@DangeRuss7047]

I just have to say you are wonderful and absolutely beautiful thank you for talking to us

[@ArtemisRising289]

Your friends and chosen family or family you keep in touch with are sooo blessed to have your soul in their lives. Wow. Thank you for sharing on KZbin ❤ thank you for sharing your wisdom.

[@lovinggiants]

I would buy the transcript of this as a perfect practical self help guide.

[@439801RS]

Exactly, you don't care, you just have your one size fits all theory, and if it isn't working, it's the individuals fault

[@MythionVR]

Came for roller-skating videos, stayed for feeling better. Love you Dasia from the UK and thank you! :) Skate on! 💜

[@aniyahslatin2031]

i love it here

[@DasiaDoesIt]

Love having you!❤

[@izec5475]

I’m my biggest hater, I’m not a doormat, rather a selfish coward. I lie to others so they don’t know how weak I truly am it’s for my benefit not there’s. But the self lies are the worst, i give off positivity to family & friends. But only discourse & fear to my inner chorus. I’ll work on lying & try to envision a hell to terrible to endure. Thx I can’t say this vid will help but the maybe is worth the try🙏🏾

[@l33machine]

Gosh, what a wonderful video. Just wrote the visualization exercise in my journal and it really has helped give such a better vision to what I want out of my life. Im only 25 and feel very lost sometimes and this video has given me something to aim for :]

[@kablekane5493]

ok off topic but youre sooooo prettyyyy

[@handlemonium]

Editor Dasia is a gritty kinda pretty.

[@stephsteph1338]

💫💫💫👏🏽💗 I need to listen to this on repeat mode. This was so good! Thank you! 😌

[@hotchocolategirl1der]

This is great advice. I don't have a victim mentality, but I'm looking through all sources to create the life I want, and you look trustworthy. Also, heads up on the the formula, it has a less than sign. Not a big thing, doesn't take away from the video at all. Thank you for sharing!

[@DasiaDoesIt]

Just testing yall 😉✨no but thanks and thanks for being here! I wish you the world on your journey to creating the life you want.

[@skh-22]

Love the video ❤️. I’m not new to topics like this, but you expressed it so well and in your own unique way, that it helped me see some of these principles in a new light, so thank you. I started watching for roller skating tips but stayed for the life perspectives!

[@animalmini1]

Summarizing the facts right here ❤ ..

[@barefootdude1095]

Saving lives Queen! 🫶🏽

[@Jaz4]

I appreciate this insight so very much. I took notes !!! Ur voice is a gift 🩷🩷

[@GLesbihonest]

Thank you so much for this much needed video! This is a perfect start to my day, week, and month! I wish I could like this a million times. Pure gold! 🙏🏾😊💙

[@dr.crowsworld]

I found you by your tips on rollerskating, and I saw this and I REALLY needed to hear your advice. Thank you!!

[@weirdorian9602]

I love this oh my gosh!!! Thank YOU!!!!

[@DasiaDoesIt]

You’re so welcome.❤️

[@serrgggeo]

Dasia! What a great way to start of the week with these principles in mind at a time of necessary shift. I'm always a fan of your book recommendations, I remember picking up the 100 Year Plan about China during your 75 Hard Challenge. Would you have any recommended reads to dive further into the ethos of unnecessary suffering, or rather, books on those that have walked their path out of unnecessary suffering; to avert my attention from my own mind for a quick minute with discretionary reinforcement. Girl I am dancing this dance like a cow in rollerskates...but we out here! Thanks again for sharing your journey in such a humble awareness. Additionally (thus the edit), sending you belated big love on your cake day. I hail from the East and have been attuned to sidereal contexts (real-time celestial markers versus the seasonal calendar that is tropical) and from that vantage point, the Sun transiting the constellation of Aries (as it is in the sky today versus the tropical end of Aries of 2000 or so years ago), I can't help but notice the vitality and illuminated Self-esteem which evokes courage (given Aries is ruled by Mars). I look forward to being a human that may get to virtually experience the confident actions you pursue in your world, and its reverberating effects on the greater world. What a gift!

[@MagicalGirlRage]

You are such a soothing human ❤

[@MiaLopezdevos]

This was a lot but in a good way! I guess I’ll do this step by step. As someone who doesn’t have a lot of people in their life and mainly keeps to themselves, it’s hard to see how the statements of relationship relate to me. I do keep myself out of relationships because of trauma though. Any advice?

[@DasiaDoesIt]

Hello fiend! My favorite pills are the tough ones to swallow bc i usually learn so much so felt! To be clear, I don’t think mainly keeping to yourself is a problem, it’s only an issue if mainly keeping to yourself becomes a problem because you’re isolating or you actually want to have more relationships. So I’d say start there maybe? Determine if those relationships are something you actually have a desire for and work on developing trust within yourself that you : a) know how to pick good people b) you treat yourself with enough kindness and respect that you wouldn’t allow anyone to treat you with less than what you give to yourself for any length in time. Hope this helps.❤

[@ladydpw]

Hi friend, it may be helpful for you to review Step 6: Let Go of Your Old Wounds. You said that you keep yourself out of relationships because of trauma. It may be useful to understand the ways that trauma could be holding you back so that you can move forward differently.

[@SONSTHREESIXTY]

Kool 🎉😅 😂 may i asked how has the MOST HIGHEST opened this mind to such wisdom? Learnt dat very very early in life you can not make anyone do ah dam thing😊

[@Meowstar_90]

Thank you ❤

[@OLDASL]

Gonna go mountain climbing with that person on step 6 :)

[@skatingfairyrolls]

i love your video so much you always inspire me 💖 thank you

[@littlefishy1337]

The Actual Queens Speach 👸 ❤

[@mothluvsu]

being so genuine here, how is a bootstraps mentality going to help anything? i want to take ur advice, but i feel like the full picture isn’t being painted here. u understand we live in a capitalist world that prices us out of existence and isolates us. yet the pain we feel in response, u call self victimization?? the trauma u talk ab not dismissing causes serious physical and cognitive disabilities, which are near impossible to get treated bc of the financial situations we’re in. pulling urself up by ur bootstraps and just ignoring it literally doesnt work. im speaking from a genuine place here, i dont want to be needlessly combative. i just want actual help that can apply to this situation. i cant understand how any of this is self victimization when almost all of us are actively being oppressed and victimized. that would be like me throwing bricks at someone and telling them its their fault for being hurt. edit: just read up other opinions and it made sense. this self help stuff preaches that our issues come from ourselves so we can fix them ourselves. total control. but that doesnt make sense. a flower in the desert can be taken care of, but its environment will ultimately destroy it. we’re the same. we cant flourish in spaces where we’re being destroyed. and to teach that it’s our job to fix the problems bestowed by a flawed environment feeds directly back into individualism and is ultimately not possible. ill search for help elsewhere

[@lovinggiants]

🤦🏼 she's just saying "fix what you can. Accept what you can't" in many ways. Something I always tell people who won't accept their trauma and stuff is that acceptance is usually a really crappy feeling. It's not going to fix it. E.g. stop trying to fix those deep cognition distorting traumas and just accept they happened and start to eat better, sleep better, live better in spite of them. And eventually they'll minimise and become easier to handle.

[@mothluvsu]

@ i get what ur saying but thats just not how trauma works. acceptance is one thing but thats not the whole journey. yes, trauma messes up ur cognitive abilities bc it leaves crucial areas of ur brain under or completely undeveloped. that needs professional help. and js saying ‘accept it and itll pretty much go away’ is js blatant misinformation…

[@melanova5]

​@@mothluvsuAcceptance isn't the whole journey but it is the first step. Acknowledging what *is* within our control and doing what we can is all we can do. Yes, we live in a crushingly colonial capitalist environment that tries to strip each of us of the joy of life and force us into tiny boxes where we just work and buy, work and buy. We can still shift our mindset to something more constructive and begin building our own communities. This doesn't mean trauma doesn't change us, because you're right, there's neurobiological changes that happen, especially with repeated trauma. The amygdala becomes overactive, the prefrontal cortex doesn't develop in the same ways, and there are specific pathways of negative thinking that get strengthened to the point where it feels impossible to think any other way. It's like a wagon being dragged in the same circle in the mud, forming deep tracks that make it impossible to get the wagon out with only the wagon. It just means that, with the right support, we can begin to transform trauma into post-traumatic growth. It means that, by changing our beliefs in ourselves, in our own worth, we can begin to ask for more than the bare minimum to make it through the end of the week. I don't think this video is preaching "pull yourself up by your bootstraps." I think it's more about "notice what you focus your attention on, and how you're focusing your attention on it, and reflect on whether or not that's working for you."

[@mothluvsu]

@@melanova5 i understand that. thank u. i get so long winded and negative when i feel frustrated, i think maybe a lot of what i said was unnecessary. ty for explaining and ty for coming at it w an understanding of trauma. i saw another one of her videos on optimistic nihilism and i think ill try to shift my perspective