"Storyteller" Techniques of Groomers & Manipulators

[@NoOne-sl2dd]

When a Predator compliments you, it is to not only flattery, but to establish trust and ease, it lets your guard down and it lets your boundaries down. Also they pick vulnerable people who have have a history of neglect and abuse (most likely from their own families) and predators can see that you have never been flattered, so if you are flattered it is a feeling you never had before, and they cofuse that feeling for a feeling of safety.

[@Xy3913]

It also make the limbic system mellow and inable to see danger. Even if one does not need flaterry it will happen

[@muma6559]

you explain it well. It takes time and maturity to discern and to be strong enough to resist. And move on to healthy pastures.

[@rl453]

“Just because someone presents you with a role doesn’t mean you have to accept it”. But sometimes, especially if we have groomed from birth to be in a certain role, they won’t walk away if you refuse to accept that role. We must be the ones to walk away. When we refuse to continue in whatever role was chosen for us, family pushback can be severe. Depending upon how dysfunctional the family system is the pushback may entail going NC or caving and accepting that role.

[@muma6559]

I'm not a victim, I'm not special and I'm not broken. Yeah, don't accept any of these roles. I love the way you explain not accepting these roles. It's a good way of looking at it. Being honest, humble and really looking at reality, the realistic picture.

[@derricklough1172]

I’m barely learning this after almost 35 years of marriage. Looking back, SO many things I overlooked are popping up in my head. It wasn’t until my therapist thought I was being gaslit did I start doing the research. And thanks to you and other coaches/psychologists, I can now see the road I’m going down. I know hindsight is more or less ruminating, but it helped me see what I missed. And I’m at the point where I can walk away and never look back.

[@fanfarestrings8460]

I wonder how much pre existing family dysfunction plays a role in being 'comfortable' or unaware to these dynamics? probably lots especially in regards to lofty self identity and boundaries. great info. thanks.

[@Helena.E.M]

The evidence says it's central, sadly.

[@BBrunnel]

I’m so grateful for you

[@pobrien6630]

The minute I filed for divorce, my 'sister' and brother-in-law started their process on me in order to financially abuse me (gain title on my property, they've done it to others before). I managed to get out as the 'tells' became obvious...being love-bombed by an in-law I've known for 27 years who was generally aloof, creepy and a bit odd worked briefly until I asked myself, why don't I feel like I own my own house 100%. No contact for just over a year now and disowned the person I once called a sister who has abused me since childhood. Thank you for your content, it helps a lot!

[@Kloops]

And my ex didn’t seem to know he himself was doing this. It was like his natural behavior. I was mainly the first person he did this to. I was with him since we were 18 and 19 years old. I’m 48 and almost completely divorced from him. It’s hard. So difficult. He did make me feel special and yet disgusting about myself two minutes later near the end. It’s weird. So weird.

[@stuff1784]

Wish I had known this before I married this awful person.. I’m working on getting an annulment now. She played the victim role and I played the savior role. She figured out I have a soft spot for people and animals that need help. I regret everything with this person.

[@newtonmoon]

It must be horrible. We all make mistakes; you can change your life.

[@dear_darling]

This was like a wisdom bomb 💣 mind blow 🙏🏽🔥💝

[@NyxSyrehn]

After watching your video, it made me feel easy to just cut off this one guy who's too good to be true but after ive said I'm attached to him he started to act strange and seems like he's trying to figure out how to get me more attached to him, like doing the push and pull method to me now. I felt something off already the first month we met, a few days ago I struggled by the thought of cutting him off. Now that I've watched this, it made me bounce back to reality like I never really got to experience him. Thank you for this, now I cut contact with him.

[@DavidWithrowidafitzpatrickelle]

Being canceled by healthcare they were telling me how "special" I was and they had care providers to give me disengenuous compliments.Now that my health and looks are gone because of the yesrs chronic stress they look at me with disguist. Never though about the homemade jewelry one of them gave would have an evil spell bring me bad energy. Thank you you helped me tremendously. ❤❤❤

[@septemberdawnluketz]

Thank you so much for this information. I’m so glad Spirit lead me to your channel. This info is pivotal for me to finally end this toxic 19 year cycle that started with my original abuser (aside from my own mother that is) once and for all. The trauma ends with me. The buck stops here.

[@balderloke]

This is top psychology insight. I love your perspective, in particular because it is apparant that this is build on reflections on your own life experience rather than so much of those fake coaching platitudes that is polluting the internet.

[@flohra]

Your amazing! This was very enlightening for me to watch/hear. The whole “roles” thing is spot on. I will be thinking about/analyzing this for a while.

[@ehrensjournal]

I'm glad it can maybe help someone

[@Sheherhis]

I found the part around 23 min in very good to ponder about love really being consistent and thats how you know someone loves you. Not that he appreciates your kayaking abilities. Well done video from beginning to end👌🏾👍🏾🙏🏾

[@moaiancestor6330]

You came up in my feed..This video touched my soul!!! I am 60 and am becoming as wise as your words!!!! Finally:))heee You speak so much truth I had to respond and subscribe..It's a confirmation that I am on the right track!! I just wanted to say thank you from my heart!! Excellent work KEEP GOING:))) xxx

[@ritageraghty3261]

I learn wisdom fast by listening to real-life stories by victims, reformed criminals, prostitutes, drug addicts, etc. They always have a LOT of stories to tell. I listen to stories in KZbin, Paltalk, Podcast, etc.

[@moaiancestor6330]

@@ritageraghty3261 💜💜💜💜

[@ed000]

How about the one who's there for you when you're in the dark but there's always string attached or dominating my life & time and expect you to say yes all the time and when you say no,they go silent on you? What does this mean

[@kzy1457]

I used to be happy. Reminded me of how much effort i put into it. But overtime i let people influence me and this video reconnects me with some of my own internal ways. Thank you so much ❤

[@thebubblychickdoesunboxings]

Someone tried to groom me. He told me that he liked me really soon after I met him. I didn't tell him that I didn't like him, I just told him that there was someone else that I liked and I just wanted to be friends. Then, the next time the groomer saw me, he gave me gifts. He claimed that he does that for all his friends, but that was yet to be seen. He lives in a different city than me, most likely 1.5 hours away, so I never met any of his friends. Since I wasn't attracted to this guy, I found his attention towards me to be creepy. So I decided to end our friendship. I think that if you're not physically attracted to someone, their grooming behavior most likely won't work, unless you meet them online and they tell you a handsome photo is of themselves when it's not. That would be considered both grooming and catfishing.

[@getupandgo77]

This is a really enlightening. And pretty much exactly what I experienced. I wish I had realized it before I had handed over my life.

[@dawnkuleanafreitas6636]

Thank you so much for this content, sister!! 🙏🏽♥️

[@keithp6699]

Ive always noticed that people who i think are trying to manipulate you, over use words that describe negative emotions like 'sad' for example. It's sort of like they're trying to tell you that you should be sad without actually saying it or add that bit more drama to something that isn't really necessary. And if you don't really respond to what they're telling you they just move on.

[@stevepeterson5943]

Great! Really good stuff, reminds me of some similar concepts. Sam Vaknin talks about "the shared fantasy" like your story teller analogy. Also [Covert Contracts] cant remember where i came across that. Its everywhere all the time, like you said, its creepy really. To me anyway, people are verrrrrrrry insecure for the most part, and rely on superficial props. Also a bitter expression i love. - "I was trying to help!" is the alibi of the narcissist. Yikes! And, the word "No", is a complete sentence : ) Yes, it takea time. None of this was in my vocabulary just a few years ago. It's like a full time job to refuse all these stories all day, that people are constantly selling, consciously or unconsciously. I had a local spook/ bullshit arrist, try his con on me with his sweet talk pitch, that everybody buys, i stared down, kept walking and muttered, "im good." He froze, i could tell nobody tells him No, or f. You very much : ) He physically tried to get me to shake his hand once, they need to be in rapport #1. And people buy it. Creep! I used to be a magnet, so hes seeing residual . . . Personally I love all people, heck, i even like a few of them, ha! I go on, but its a rich topic. Also, is the lady in AA? may i ask? Im a friend of Bill's. Keep it up, youll help a lot of people.

[@rl453]

I still retain some residual energy unfortunately. This will cause some predators to misjudge me as prey upon sight. They try to hide their anger when they realize they misjudged and it’s comical to watch the facial expressions. It’s nice that it happens so infrequently now.

[@anticapitalisthomedesign]

just got out of a manipulative relationship, and this is so validating & healing. thank you 💕

[@rachelbevan9089]

You have a real gift of wisdom, and I love your spiritual discernment on this matter. You have some the best understanding of these kinds of people that I’ve seen.

[@daphnenicholson3355]

Great perspective. Great insight.

[@Cutest1TheGame]

The Royal Couple! Yep, I’ve fallen for that before.

[@anastyush]

your videos are very perceptive; with deep understanding. I am a psychotherapist and I’ve been learning a lot about the dark side of humanity.. you explain so… relatable - thank you 🙏 for that. 😊 I’m leaning a lot from you. 😊

[@cocochocookiedough]

What about when evil people in your life are family?

[@newtonmoon]

Be aware, reduce contact and don't share personal details.

[@ibelieveintrees]

Maybe the "class that (many or most or all) perpetrators/abusers attend" is unhealed/unaddressed childhood (and adulthood) trauma aftermath (not unlike what Daniel Mackler and Alice Miller speak of), they may have learned these maladaptive coping strategies and unhealthy/toxic/abusive need/want-meeting from their traumatizers and/or traumatizing entertainment/education.. Not sure tho.

[@mauilogic1679]

🍍Some have eyes of light!🍍Keep lookin' to See🍍

[@ehrensjournal]

This is a very possible theory as well :-)

[@mauilogic1679]

The most honest answer! very well just may be on its way to come, possibly the words of a Sagittarius, Libra, and or Aquarius Sun, Moon, and or Rising/Ascendent signed people granted birth during such time, forging forward, for if not justice, then so not to be unjust towards others, while they acquire their own worked thru truth that would have the least amount of afflicted casualties, as they continue effectively, affectively, individually, efficiently, they will be able to chose wisely, and gather or acquire abundantly, all good things for some, in all good times, possibly for others,🍍let your life proceed by its own design🍍feel free to talk, back, too, or with, i enjoy communicating words that effectively interpret the experiences that i have been thru and for others myself included, ask for what you need and get what you want, to see value and know ones worth is what i teach while it teaches me to keep learning...Aloha greg

[@annastone5624]

You are incredible at describing these dynamics.. Really fantastic. 🙏🏻

[@LoyalHearts-pu2qb]

Wow this podcast is like no other. You must be really special

[@devinelyguided229]

you’re funny 😆 ,Thank you, really enjoy the way you break your thoughts down for our interpretation.

[@sophiekeye8511]

Hey, I wanted to say your videos are SO helpful. I wish I had learnt what you are talking about sooner. Thank you for what you do and for empowering others to have healthy relationships. I shared this video with my husband after I had an uncomfortable incident with a stranger. Fortunately, nothing dangerous happened but it could have been a lot worse and your video helped us see what was going on.

[@TaraR2023]

This nailed the narcissistic cycle of lovebombing and devaluation and brainwashing in a nutshell and describes the process and how it’s done by predators fantastically. I am a former mental health therapist and coach and I have been studying narcissistic personality and tendencies for 10 years - this is the most succinct yet all-encompassing and accurate description I’ve heard. I am sharing this with everyone! And I completely agree - it’s a pattern they all do unknowingly because I believe in spiritual influence as well.

[@Poppylee4]

Thanks this makes me feel like im not crazy cause I do notice these signs. Its great to know I can avoid the whole situation early on

[@eonbeats]

you are an incredibly intelligent woman. it is very educational listening to you describe these things--i wonder if you could go further into the spiritual message stuff you said near the beginning? i suppose you must mean that dark spirits are what are teaching these people on how to manipulate, but that seems like such a great topic for a video

[@hechovisto]

Thank you so much for this 😭😭😭♥️♥️

[@DrJoySmithMaxwell]

Great analysis & it does take time; no way to rush it! The best way is to actually know someone, a friend or a significant other, is to look for actions & just ignore their words. Use your eyes, not your ears! Just be deaf. BTW- Ehren, you're stunningly gorgeous! Love the haircut.

[@ScrambleLynne]

Wow,I needed to find you.. thank you so much ❤❤❤❤

[@user-zy8gk2nn7d]

giving trust and accepting someone is one of the greatest gifts and that is what predators are looking for. At this point there is also an energy exchange - so by giving your trust you accepted their energy and gave your energy. So if they belong to satan they will damage you in many ways.

[@Xy3913]

That some deep shit I knew there was an energy exchange

[@ivadedeva7005]

I am trying to break through that right now. That is disgusting!

[@annastone5624]

I don’t think predators need a class.. it’s just that human beings all have the same basic needs & predators just work their patterns of play off that.. that’s why they are all the same. Most traumatised people have similar vulnerabilities, so they don’t need too much variety in their tactics.

[@mauilogic1679]

🍍Storyteller makes no choice... 🍍 soon you will not hear their voice... 🍍 their job is to Shed Light... 🍍 NOT TO MASTER!!!...

[@Sheherhis]

Hi Ehren, I don't see the friendship video you mentioned in this video that you did. 🙏🏾💯

[@ehrensjournal]

Hi Paula :-) It’s called “Common Friendship Habits Of Abuse Survivors”, it’s under my main video list

[@K-4767-u5h]

Influence from the spirit world?? it's people who have gone through childhood trauma, where they had to be in a situation that demanded emotional hypervigilance. This teached them emotional skills, that help them to connect with others in ways that your average person can't. Manipulators have high emotional intelligence, so they know what to say, how to say it and to who. I'm that kind of a person, except i don't manipulate others in a negative way. Being a predator craves a lack of empathy plus other things.

[@sarawelling5271]

I think people, in general, and modern women, specifically, would be better off alone - completely self-sufficient. Predation is instinctual not learned. There are aspects and techniques that can be learned, but it's mostly dominance as found throughout nature presenting itself in a toxic way. I've never experienced a relationship without some level of predation, manipulation or toxicity. If I had it to do all over again, I'd be alone and stay alone. Avoidance is the only way to guarantee your safety. Happiness is illusion. It's a lie the world holds out to you to entrap you

[@newtonmoon]

In a way I agree but now I understand that we are social beings. We need other people. We need the right people in our life. However, we should always choose being single than with a predator or abuser; it's easier said than done as often they don't identify as such. We should learn how to spot and respect the signs and take them seriously from the start. Giving such a person zero chance is key here. I won't give up hope that good people men specifically exist somewhere although they seem to be very very rare. And yes, happiness is an illusion, other people can never give you happiness and they should not be expected to.

[@alexxxO_O]

thank you srsly.

[@JosephineArmstrong-l1u]

Very interesting ❤

[@Red-hot-sonic-fan]

Thank you for code to the game

[@newtonmoon]

Very true on the gift part. It's ok to reject them! How they feel about it, is not your problem. I am all for empathy but being empathic with manipulators is not a good advice.

[@probrickieexclusive]

Brilliant

[@Franzweezie]

“predator school” - omg you’re hilarious 🙃

[@MrRodQ]

Thank you

[@heide-raquelfuss5580]

I can never be happy, knowing all i know. Knowing what people do to people, animals and so on. I swallowed the red pill and searched, researched why people do what they do. I had many traumas and at one point at 19 years old i started to investigate why i was so treated like i was treated, not functioning. It started at 7 years old. The why's of why people torture/kill dogs in the middle east. I started hating people at that age who do this. Anyway, i also feel so much gratitude everytime something good happens or i see something heartwarming, but happy is something never will happen in any way or shape. To much seen, experienced in my life, looking outwardly towards others horrors and the whole planet and what happens within this planet. Very havy to just have a click and feel happy.

[@SamSpray-jg9hz]

These videos are really helpful but so triggering, i have to pause periodically.

[@ontherox007]

I love your content

[@mskilike1302]

Isnt it amazing that this idea of lettin them in is widely spread in vampires folklore? As ancient as greek vampire myth, vrykolakas. You must invite them to enter your home. In some sense the myth is warning us about the topic. This trust should be earned, because once in our home we are f***d

[@ceridwenschache9745]

By the grace of God i was saved from one of my teachers who tried to foster me. I had already been placed so he just missed out! Ran into his wife years later who was a previous student and they were in the midst of a divorce as he had shacked up with another student!

[@junkettarp8942]

Stressed?

[@muma6559]

I wish my mother taught me this

[@newtonmoon]

Maybe she didn't know. But I agree parents should actually parent which I also have not enjoyed. Providing food and a roof over the head, sending kids off to school, some vacation that alone is not parenting. It appears that a lot of parents don't know what parenting entails.

[@muma6559]

@@newtonmoon no they don't. Most don't want to be a parent, are not prepared, are not equipped and are not interested enough, very sad.

[@newtonmoon]

@@muma6559 Even though it's the greatest blessing. There is never a perfect time to become a parent, old or young. We will do a better job when the time comes if it comes hopefully :)

[@tradslnd9872]

2 Timothy 3:6 Bible For of this sort are those who creep into houses and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts. Reminded me of what you're saying. God looks out for us bruh!

[@deathandrebirth-y8x]

i can see someone calling you special just for your features. take your eyes for example i see gray. that is incredibly rare. i can see someone wanting you around as a trophy.

[@mendey14]

Dating is for marriage don't destroy yourself

[@amaarnarain437]

Ing this to my adult daughter because she is not smart enough to understand this and I m too embarassed to tell her

[@Marlenkaminta]

It's part instinctive survival skill (that builds on repetition compulsion, shame, emotional manipulation and the very human need of connection and belonging), part programming from the culture we are surrounded with, and that normalises the objectification and dehumanisation of people (especially women and kids) and glorifies domination and ownership. Unfortunatelly most of the institutions of politics, education, health and religion (and most of our systems built on and by men (meaning male) centered world view) are serving the purpose to keep up that toxic system.

[@MrNatural73]

❤100%

[@user-sh3vv4fd2rMr.K]

strategies and tricks of the devil...

[@IamHisHeismine]

I’m sorry I don’t think it’s wrong to need to feel special to a few people

[@ehrensjournal]

Never said it was wrong, it's simply about learning our vulnerabilities to protect them better. Not a question of right or wrong :-) We all have vulnerabilities

[@mendey14]

Sex is for marriage don't destroy yourself

[@carpballet]

Holy Fuk. Paid by the word…

[@SP-qi8ur]

You lost me at the spirituality part

[@SgtJoeSmith]

thanks for the tips on picking up chicks!

[@ehrensjournal]

Sounds like techniques you were probably already familiar with anyway :)