Overcoming Perfectionism | Obsession, Depression, & Anxiety | Self-Care and How to Get Started

[@lacarotarot]

I'm dealing with anxiety and depression for a long time, and I'd never realize that perfectionism was another of my mental problems thas was making me fail for that long, because even knowing that I was perfectionist I didn't realize that was a huge problem. I love the way you say things, and it's pretty obvious that everything are conclutions about what happend to you, and that's what I really need, listen to someone who really understand how is feell being like this and that really want to make people know how to feell better about theirself. Today was one of those days that I'd can't hold myself, and I had a really bad anxiety attack, and in some way, watching your videos made me feell better, and not better like cured, obviously, but better, like feeling that everything is going to be ok and I'm not crazy, and even if I went back to go down, I can do it. Thank you for do what you do, and please continue helping people like us, you are such a beautifull person with a huge heart and a wonderful brain.

[@OhJoliexox]

Oh, Carolina. This comment made me cry. You are lovely and you deserve to feel good about yourself. I'm so happy this little video could help you, even in the smallest way of letting you know you aren't alone. I'm rooting for you. 💞

[@lacarotarot]

[@auntiegoblin9344]

I just wanted to say thank you for posting this. I actually found your channel through your video about coping with depression. I appreciate how real you are and the simple and useful advice you give. You don’t sugar coat things and that makes them approachable. So thank you. I really hope you make more content like this.

[@OhJoliexox]

I'm so glad you found me! I definitely plan to make more videos like this, as it's therapeutic for me, too (something about making the videos reminds me to keep following my own advice). I hope you will enjoy the other videos I make, too, as I have so many interests, it's hard to choose just one.

[@user-ed5ke8mt7s]

I felt like I was the only one... This was so helpful. Thank you so so much

[@johnhoo6707]

What worked really well for me, at least when it came to getting me started towards managing perfectionism, is to recognize the "scheme" of perfectionism. You can read about Schema Therapy in many online resources, but essentially what I did was to recognize that "perfectionist" voice in my head, and recognize it as a separate thing from the "healthy me". Even gave it a name. Now every time it comes up, I recognize it almost as a separate person, and if it's a separate person talking to me, I can always tell him to STFU, or consider the advice much like I would consider the advice of any other person.

[@ChristiKu3]

I knew that I was neurotic. I knew that I was obsessive. I could just never figure out WHY I procrastinate so bad. Thank you for cracking the code!! Jesus, maybe I can enjoy life finally.

[@leadermik8260]

Please please keep creating great mental health videos! We need your support! This is important!

[@sjade8810]

I do this so much. I'm constantly cleaning my house and decluttering everything, but its never enough. If one little thing is out of wack i feel like i'm failing and feels like my whole world is coming away at the seams. I catch myself a lot trying to make every aspect of my life perfect or what i think i should be; from creating a solid budget to feeling like i'm accomplishing something to the way i look right through to my job performance and friends/family. It's attainable but it's exhausting, god knows how many things I've put in place and have failed at trying to have everything mesh together and have it all. Procrastination is a big one, i'm such a dreamer and a goal driven person but i overwhelm myself with just looking at my day that i dont get things done, instead of looking at the point in action, ill look at the whole day and the things i want to get done e.g Gym - not wanting to go to the gym because ill be exhausted for work and not work to peak performance (i work a very active job) but in reality its not real and i'm just trying to be perfect with everything. I used to always want to plan everything - lists, planners, the whole sha-bang..but i find now to keep everything a bay its easier to just have a calendar on the wall for MAIN points e.g what days i work, birthdays, important dates ect. I felt like planners ect were hindering me more than helping me. I feel more at ease focusing on the things that really matter and i can focus better on the important tasks.

[@OhJoliexox]

Dude, I'm so there with you. For me, before I started tapering down my commitments and really listed out my priorities and what NEEDS to be done vs what can wait, I did the month of being a crazy over-achiever and the rest of the year in shambles. Lol. It's insane how much pressure we put on *ourselves* when everyone else is like "dude, chill out, let's watch a movie and take a xanax." 😂 It's one of those things that is funny in hindsight but so very not funny when you are going through it.

[@montanamvk]

omgomgomgomgomg YOU are what/who I've been searching for!!!!!! I am going to try to do the three thing tonight. THIS has taken over my entire life... totally paralyzed. THANK YOU, I FLIPPN LOOOOOOVE YOU!!! 🤗💜

[@SophiaRavenna]

What is it the kids say these days? "I feel personally attacked by this relatable content." LOL. I really struggle with being a procrastinating perfectionist. I can't even tell you how much shit hasn't been getting done while I've been basically unemployed. I have all sorts of opportunities to improve my skills, which would make my resume look better, but I hesitate to pursue them because what if I fail and I have to give up and go work at Target? Also... floors. God. I would give anything to have my own dance room with a door that I could close so I wouldn't constantly have to sweep and mop pet hair and dirty and crud off of my dining room floor in order to have a safe, clean space to practice.

[@OhJoliexox]

I know you know all about this, girl. We've had many a conversation about our neuroses. ;)

[@alyssacascos8665]

This is me to a T. I feel that need to have to be perfect all the time and I beat myself up when I don't achieve my level of perfection. A pattern I have is starting something but then quitting it in the middle because I am frustrated I am not doing whatever it is perfectly. Trying to improve and be gentle with myself. ❤

[@mahdijavaheri6763]

really good and realistic advice. thank you for reminding me about what i'm dealing with. the most daunting part of perfectionism is that it keep's me away from success. the more i get involved in making perfectly detailed task the less it's chance to get it done and reach my goals.

[@mikmymo]

I appreciate this video. I really needed to hear some of this. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@tellbell9]

This was EXTREMELY helpful. Love your cozy vibe and awesome personality. Thank you so much. I feel like I can relax and really take this on now. :)

[@RobinFae6772]

Hey, I love this video and your other self-care video for depression. All of your advice really helps and I can actually use it. Thank you so much! I just found your channel and I love it! I am going to subscribe. Thanks

[@OhJoliexox]

I'm so happy I can help. 💞

[@IreneMoore]

Thanks for sharing your experiences of overcoming perfectionism. Such an important topic!

[@hamsteroncoffee]

Hey, Jolieee! Thanks for the "just begin" advice. That is super brilliant and actually works (i think) :) I just discovered your channel and I just love you

[@OhJoliexox]

I'm so glad the video helped you! Just remember, you are an amazing person and you will always be your harshest critic. Try to take it easy on yourself. I believe in you. 💞

[@hamsteroncoffee]

Thank you for these kind words! Again, you are sooo amazing! I simply love u! Thanks a looot!

[@silkedbyvictoria7214]

I really needed to hear this!!!! Thank you so much 🙏🏾

[@Rivenlore99]

I deal with this so much...

[@veroniquesevigny829]

Thank you soooo much for this video....! I’ve never heard of neurotic perfectionism but it described me perfectly... Thank you for sharing these tips to manage it and starting to get stuff done (even though they won’t be perfect!). Absolutely loved this video. I discovered your channel by searching self care videos for mental health and I watched self care for depression.... I adore your content! Keep it up :D

[@sarasantos1269]

You are so on the spot! Your videos are very real and the advice amazing! Happy to find your channel. Continue the great work!!!!

[@OhJoliexox]

Thank you so much, Sara! I really appreciate the kind words. 💞

[@sarasantos1269]

Oh, Jolie! Honey, you DESERVE all the kind words ;) so no need to thanks

[@rubies200]

You understand me so much! Thanks for posting this video.

[@oxblubxo]

Really good video! I struggle with perfectionism and depression and I agree with your tips :) Something it helps me if I ask myself: What can I do today (or even just in this moment) to get me a little closer to the thing I want to accomplish? (Even if it’s just sending one mail or makings one phone call.) And obviously you can’t change your life in one day, so the pressure of getting it all done immediately is reduced. But overall I think perfectionism is deeply connected to our feelings. If I feel bad it’s so much worse. So another thing I ask myself is: What can I do today that lets me feel a little better? If I feel better about myself it’s often easier to get started.

[@OhJoliexox]

That's such good advice. Taking the pressure off is so hard for people with perfectionism, but it's an important skill to learn if we want to be happy. 💞

[@brunettebarbie]

Absolutely brilliant video! 🙏🏼💋

[@iwanttosurvive3992]

👍. Thank you so much for this. 🙏

[@OhJoliexox]

I'm happy to help!!! 💞

[@iwanttosurvive3992]

Clorox wipes have probably saved me untold amounts of anxiety that I'll never know. They came out at the same time I had gotten my first apartment. My apartments are and always have been cluttered and disorganized. However, I have always been able to feel that keeping my floors, kitchen and bathrooms is very attainable for me, thanks to those wipes. Easy to just spray the sinks and wipe up real fast. It's been easier for me to reach for the wipe to pick up hair, little spills, etc...rather than the overwhelming pressure & thinking I felt before those wipes when I lived with parents and roommates which went something like this (and is based on how I was forced to clean in a particular order for my mother, and if I didn't do it in order or got something wrong, I had to go back and do it all over again: Ok. I see hair and dust on the bathroom floor and a few spill looking areas of some sort. I MUST get the broom AND dustbin first. I have to sweep the ENTIRE floor. Then I have to dump that stuff out. Then I have to put the broom and dustpan away. Next, I have to fill a bucket up with some sort of sudsy or cleaning agent water AND I have to find a clean rag I can use. Then I have to remove EVERYTHING from the bathroom tiles floor - the wastebasket, the toliet brush cleaner, the rugs, the scale - I HAVE to move them all off the floor. Then, and ONLY then, I can get on my hands and knees and wipe down the whole floor. AND... I have to be sure to start from the farthest corner of the bathroom and work my way out of the bathroom. If I step on the floor before it dry, I might have to go back and wipe up that spot!!! Okay- oh my gosh, I'm so exhausted and frustrated just writing and remember all that, how it really was, but back to it - next I have to allow the entire floor to dry. While I'm waiting, I need to go dump out the bucket, rinse and wring out the rag, then put that stuff away. Ok, an hour later, I can now put the wastebasket, scale, toilet cleaner and rugs back where they belong on the bathroom floor. Oh my gosh, an hour and 1/2 later I'm done, thank God. 30 minutes later, "Hey, you didn't shake these rugs out when you swept and mopped. Now you gotta sweep the floor all over again after you do!" Thank you, Clorox Wipes. Oh, and I use toilet paper, too. Works wonders on picking up hair and dust real quick!!

[@OhJoliexox]

I'm glad you found something that works for you, even if it's a temporary fix. I also love the easy to use wipes. That and the microfiber floor cleaners are essentially my favorite things. 💞

[@tailsntrails]

Sounds exactly like my mother

[@julietcat]

Thank you for that Video! You explained everything perfectly 💕

[@OhJoliexox]

I'm so glad you found this video. I hope it helped a little. 💞

[@RobinFae6772]

Hey, so I have depression and am a perfectionist. I want to start a KZbin channel and I can never get anything done, and if I do it is not that good. I ha e just started to try and come to terms with the fact that it does not have to be perfect, but it is so hard. I just want to let you know that your videos have encouraged me to start uploading.

[@RobinFae6772]

Also, I love how you make such great content no matter how many subs or views you have... I just found your channel to night, but I now look up to you.

[@OhJoliexox]

I'm so excited to see what you do with your channel! Just remember that you have to start somewhere. If you're worried about perfection, just visit the first videos of a channel you really like (assuming they haven't deleted them out of embarrassment) and remember that we all start out with a giant learning curve. You *will* get better as you go along and your voice will become more clear. I believe in you, SO DO THE DAMN THING!

[@bluesash10]

Great!! This helps.

[@OhJoliexox]

Yay! I'm glad you found it.

[@utopia5351]

Thank you, I'm not alone Xx

[@OhJoliexox]

You are not ever alone. You got this and we have your back. 💞

[@denisssa03]

Thank you :)

[@OhJoliexox]

💞

[@krystalcolon7503]

Wow me and my boyfriend are both Narcotic Perfectionists. My boyfriend is the High Standard one and I'm the procrastinating and not good enough. This video really shined a light on me and my life and is going to help me get things done when I need to.