Stuck in Toxic Love Affair?

[@savannahworth2495]

You also can't keep talking to the people who hurt you. I have learned this the hard way. For me it’s my mom. She’s been so abusive towards me her entire life and she has never changed. I’ve now accepted at 52 I’m never gonna have the mom I want. - and all the time I’ve wasted hoping stresses me out.

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been through such a tough situation. It's important to prioritize your well-being and recognize when it's time to step back from toxic relationships. You're not alone in this journey of healing.

[@bigyeticane]

Once you are out of this kind of relationship, please be patient with yourself. It take a long time to recover from trauma and abuse. Lean on your support network, especially when you feel like you don't want to. And if you don't have a good support network right now, don't lose hope. Having a social support network is helpful, but it is not the whole ball game when it comes to recovery. In my own experience, I had to give up friends in order to be with my ex; so they weren't really there for me after I had to leave her. This is a pretty common situation to find yourself in after you escape an abusive relationship. Know that being strong on your own is the end goal; you aren't supposed to be there and strong immediately; that is not realistic.

[@2xCarrxtss]

When I first met my partner of three years she was an overly toxic and narcissistic person who unfortunately I fell in love with. The pain she has put me through for 4 years of my life back and forth creating a sense of worthlessness in me completely terrorized my life but I still loved her. Unfortunately we broke up about the same time this was posted and as I sat with her pouring my heart out she simply told me she didn’t need me anymore. I have felt emotions of being completely fine to depression and back and forth almost in episodes. This video has kept me motivated to try and make progress. Thank you for helping us figure out life!

[@paperplane00]

I had a very similar experience to you with an ex gf w/BPD. We were together 5 years and it was a rollercoaster the last 2. I thought I was learning helpful information about BPD that would assist, but many of my reactions to her were equally toxic. She has since gotten into a relationship with a new guy a few weeks ago after out separation. She told me she was better now. I guess despite my love for her, I was not the best suited to be with her. Perhaps her new bf is better suited to her and since I love her, I must accept that I was not her best option.

[@A.W.M-s4g]

The past couple days I've been thinking about the previous video, "When Hate Trumps Hope and Kindness." These toxic, unsupportive scenarios and triggers definitely cause me to get dysregulated. I remember in the 70s and 80s when I was a child well meaning people saying, "your parents love you," which was so demoralizing for me. Or when I presume my school counselors or teachers would get my parents to do something caring and parental which was so out of the ordinary it only confused me and made me go more inward. My parents were cruel and deliberately neglectful. I know this because they would go out of their way to take care of other children. It sometimes helps to know that my parents suffered immensely when they were children. But when I'm struggling or triggered, it's so hard. But these videos and the workbooks help so much. I've gotten to where I can invoke Dr. Fox's voice in my head! It really helps.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your experience so openly. It’s powerful to reflect on how our past shapes us, and I'm glad the videos and workbooks are providing you with some comfort. Remember, it’s okay to take things one step at a time.

[@isadoramaize83]

Dr. Fox, Thank you! Longtime follower with fears of speaking out for attention. Not today triggers! Gotta give you my deepest thanks for today's topic. 💝 Perfect timing ⏰️

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@cassiestevens8382]

Thanks & Happy Thanksgiving to you and loved ones. 💕

[@DrDanielFox]

You're so welcome and thank you for your kind support of the channel. It means a lot when people help support the cause of putting out honest and research based information. Thank you and be well.

[@darkhell7639]

thank you so much, really. unlike some other people, you don't make me feel bad. thank you so much for everythoing. i love you bpd workbook and deck card, they have helped me a lot. sending you a lot of hugs!! i've improved a lot!

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad to hear that the workbook and deck cards have helped you! Your progress is truly inspiring, and I'm here cheering you on every step of the way!

[@RaphaelaAlmeida-g6q]

Hello, I'm from Brazil. Your videos help me a lot, I have bpd. I've been married for 16 years, my husband has always supported me, looked after me. I improved a lot after I started treating my bpd and he also improved. Because in the 16 years he has lived with me, his mental health has suffered. We help and support each other. But watching this video I wonder if he should leave me. I want him to be okay! can you help me? I really appreciate all the videos you make! Thanks!!!

[@DrDanielFox]

You’re welcome

[@mahyarmohseni8777]

Thank you so much for so much information and support 🙏

[@Fruitynudienoodle]

Your course, books, cards etc are all great and extremely helpful however I am learning that for some patients like myself that deal with chronic sadness it's not enough and when adequate treatment is not available every where feels like a place that hurts because you take you with you wherever you go.

[@DrDanielFox]

That’s so great. I’m so happy my material is helpful. 🦊👍

[@InstrumentvanVrede]

As you know, my therapist has become the root of my new found emotional pain. So therapists can cross boundaries and become toxic, making their client look like the bad person in the situation. Toxic relationships, as I've found out in the last three weeks, include professionals that are hired to "help" those with bpd, etc. My therapist kept signing me up for 12 sessions at a time and then after over a year, dropped me. We both crossed boundaries and I'm being kept from continuing my treatment. She sticks to her broken record of I've done nothing wrong and her simp supervisor claims I don't need treatment. She is backpedaling trying to save her career and wants empathy from me, but if the roles were reversed and I was the therapist; I'd be fired (being a man and all). I suggest your next video cover what we can do to find help after the professional we trusted and depended on hurts us. My county clinic has effed me over and I'm ready to give up on mental health professionals completely.

[@HigoIndico]

I got hurt by mental healthcare and I can't afford private care. My current psychiatrist is a narcissist and triggers me so bad that I fawn and dissociate. That is seen as me being "happy" or compliant and I can't get the care I need. I might look happy then, because it's my brains ultimate survival mechanism to say yes, smile, look relaxed - while I'm just watching the show in the back of my skull. I know I need to ask for another doctor but this one is the head of staff, so everything goes trough him anyway. I feel like I'm in a hole that just keeps getting deeper, the more I try to move and dig myself out. I feel like moving towns again, in hopes of meeting someone who actually listens.

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. It's important to find a healthcare provider who truly understands and supports you. Don't hesitate to advocate for yourself-you deserve the care you need!

[@lightgivener]

You can try going to a patient advocate or spokesperson. Every hospital for example should have one! You also have a right to choose your healthcare provider, so it is worth trying speaking to someone that you don't want this person involved in your healthcare. Sometimes creating a ruckus is necessary for someone to understand it's in their interest to leave you alone. Please look into patient advocacy and best of look to you. Keep watching videos by trained specialists and make sure you get better even in difficult circumstances. I'm rooting for you! ❤❤

[@Kiarali-PRose]

is it possible to become more resilient to major stress environments that they cannot leave for awhile?

[@ceecee6378]

Yes! It’s like learning a different language. My family is very toxic (BPD/NPD) and I had to step away for several years for self-preservation. I was so punished for doing so being scapegoated and smeared. If I had known about Dr Fox and others who specialize in BPD/NPD I would’ve been better equipped. Going through his workbooks and some others, and learning DBT, mentalizing, boundaries, and how to respond knowing it’s not me, it’s their shame/core content speaking, has helped. It takes a while, but it’s completely doable. 👍

[@BenedictGS]

It is not going to be easy, yet i think you can. If it is inevitable. The major consensus in medical wellbeing practice is to have a safe environment first, to get out of the traumatic environment. Dont punish yourself if it is not progressing well, you are fighting against the odds. You are human and you do with what you can. As little as it might be, you deserve recognition.

[@DrDanielFox]

Absolutely! Building resilience is a skill that can be developed over time, even in high-stress environments. It often involves practicing self-care, mindfulness, and learning coping strategies.

[@gayathrigirijathmajan970]

Can you please make a video on how and why narcissistic parents choose one of their children to be the scapegoat of the family?

[@gayathrigirijathmajan970]

Is there some way to stop my heart from yearning and craving for the toxic people in my family to change overnight and become loving and affectionate.. though its been proven countless times that it is not gonna happen..why do i want so much to connect with them..its a constant cycle of hope hurt and heartbreak..😢

[@JustineSelekman-s8i]

Dr fox I really agree with you but, I’m stuck in a marriage that I can’t economically leave. I love my husband but he’s like a walking talking emotional trigger for me who is a smart man in the academic sense but psychologically he really can’t figure me out. I have bpd and generalized anxiety disorder. You made a valid point that to heal you have to remove yourself from the dysfunction but how can I do this in my situation when for practical reasons I can’t leave the marriage Is there a way to find a place of healing within the dysfunction?.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's completely understandable to feel conflicted in your situation. Healing within a challenging environment is tough, but focusing on self-care and finding small moments of peace can help. Consider seeking support from a therapist or joining a support group to navigate these feelings.

[@rhaayna]

I've got a friend that's making me really depressed and sick, I love my friend so much and they mean the world to me, but they keep hurting me and ignoring me and i feel so much neglected, their words don't match their actions and it really pains my heart, and im not sure what should i do, should i step back and stay away from them forever although it would cause me a lot of pain? or keep enduring the shitty treatment I'm being treated just to keep them around?

[@eyshanho3322]

Is it possible to still be with someone while taking the first steps to recovery or get into remission? or would it be more beneficial to be single for now? i love him and i want to try for him but I've hurt him already and idk how to keep him at a distance so i cant hurt him while being with him and make him feel all the love i have for him 😞

[@SArthur221]

what i see is a lot of emphasis put on the wounded and healing party, while the aggressor gets to go free and escape accountability, which is exactly what they want. they wilfully made a problem out of nothing for the victim and get no punishment or anything? and the victim has to go through the effort of up ending their life to move out or catch distance from someone? treating people like objects is as far as i understand the psychopathic way of seeing others and seeing perpetrators as unstoppable objects is doing them a favour and the victim a disservice especially when these types of perpetrators manage to change their abuse victims' personalities over time Edit to clarify my thoughts further: perhaps more emphasis should be put on the people instilling in others the fake idea that they have a problem rather than those people being told their only option is to lose ground to their aggressors Edit again: as long as we treat solely the people without the problem, this issue will continue

[@SArthur221]

that being said, i feel awesome being away

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your insights! It’s vital to have discussions that highlight the complexities of these situations and advocate for a more balanced approach to accountability.

[@frankievalentine6112]

Does he mean, like, geographically??

[@awesomebearaudiobooks]

It did work in my case. I left Russia for a few months, went to Brazil and Argentina, and now, even after returning to Russia, I feel so much better. There are still situations that trigger me, but I literally felt how much my "soul" healed after establishing deep connections with people who appreciated me for who I am, not who I am "supposed to be".