Survival Mode: The Right Mindset to Get out of Depression | Ruth Koleva | TEDxAUBG

The fifth annual TEDxAUBG conference took place on April 9th, 2016 at the Carl Djerassi Theater Hall. For this year's edition all speeches and performances were based on the topic of Patterns.
Bulgaria: breeding ground for musical talent. News to you? That's because Ruth Koleva is a different breed of artist. Born into a volatile world of corruption and hardship in post-Communist Eastern Europe, she endured a difficult childhood largely spent without her mother, found salvation in the classics (Marvin Gaye, Ella Fitzgerald, Nat King Cole) and became 'tour-hardened' by jaunts to far-flung destinations such as India and Thailand. From there, Koleva quickly developed into a rounded musician, spending an eye-opening year at the Hollywood Pop Academy and embarking on free-spirited excursions into several local scenes including soul, hip hop and the more ephemeral bass movement. In 2015 Ruth was awarded the Best Female Vocalist prize at the Jazz Ain’t Jazz Awards in Japan. Her debut album, RUTH, was an instant success in the UK Soul Chart and the BBC playlists.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@ujandjaveii3141]

This is exactly how I overcame my depression. I had been bedridden for about seven months during which time I lost about 10kg. One day my uncle offered me an assistant job with his training program and it was a traveling job. He took me across the country with him and seeing new places and different cultures and doing something for a greater cause snapped me right out of the depression. And after that stint I went back to my life and started over

[@johanneshortstories]

That’s great but not everyone has an uncle to fund them a cross country trip…

[@Rainjojo]

Not everyone has someone to save them, all we can do is try our best

[@khadijaaitlahcen3080]

@johannesshortstories she didnt give you advise she talked just about herself and what helped for her.

[@markuskiermeier7543]

I’m happy for you. Glad you made it out relatively fast. Also respect that you managed to take that step and leave the comfort zone. The reason I feel most people don’t make it out that fast is because they don’t have that friend or that uncle who simply grabs them by the arm.

[@Ian24s]

Fell into deep sadness and changed my life in order to feel happy again. This isn't depression.

[@lukewilliams7061]

Depression isn’t a choice.

[@DaileyShorts]

Not even a little bit

[@steellungscom]

It is. It’s a victim mentality. It’s almost like your restricted by these invisible shackles. Depression is both condition and choice.

[@Trip_mania]

You can make decisions that might help you when you are in depression, but nobody chooses to be depressed, they all want to get better obviously. That "you always have a choice" is something people like to believe because they want to have hope in all circumstances and want to be able to feel in control. But in true depression, that mentality will just make you worse because as it doesn't work you will start blaming yourself for not making it because you think you should. And you will start telling yourself that you are weak. Because that's what depression does. So your mentality is the very one that leads to self pity.

[@oobee1kanobee437]

Changing your perception is a strength you need to work on and exercise like any other thing. But having a victim mentality and using "this is just the way I am " as an excuse us definitely a choice

[@willball1215]

It’s a feeling, so hard to say if you feel it in “stages” if you want or feel the need to do things the way you want it technically is a choice it’s just the way you think that other people interpret the way “they” think you feel or the way they think you “should” feel

[@aamandazittlau5505]

Why are all of these comments so negative? Why would you hate on someone sharing the most vulnerable parts of themselves in such an intimate way? Literally it doesn’t matter at all how many “uhm”s she said (personally I didn’t even notice) it’s about the message behind it. Also English isn’t even her first language so give her some grace.

[@zacharyfoy5066]

ikr thats what i was thinking too

[@muskmallo9623]

i just wanted to kno how to get out of depression

[@MyPandaLuva]

Agreed. Also to get out of depression, putting oneself in a new environment is actually really essential to help break out of habits, which depression feeds on. So her advice is actually rather good advice

[@aurakh2444]

Because most are depressed and feeling negative and still like to keep the feeling. I'm already at the stage of tired of my negativity and this video inspire me to try to search a boring part time job soon to reset my thinking.

[@raqui174]

Ppl are despicable and just love to judge everyone else

[@goodintentions1302]

She's not talking about depression. She's talking about being unsure of her life path and boredom.

[@annaberg1200]

Exactly

[@juddabudda5921]

I think beating depression is changing something in your life. If you don’t change something you will stay depressed forever

[@BestOfAnimalss]

​@@juddabudda5921 please help me 😢

[@cameronbrown4143]

@@BestOfAnimalss same bro give me the answers pls

[@laney_.]

@@juddabudda5921what do you mean? What could I possibly change

[@er-s428]

You're absolutely right. When we're in the moment where we are extremely scared and insecure, "Am I a fraud? Have I faked everything?(for me these were what the voices inside my head told me)", we tend to tunnelvision hard on our failures. In those moments I recommend just stepping out of your comfort zone just like you did. When I was struggling I didn't even know these were signs of severe depression.Thank you so much for the speech!

[@John-go2is]

Some depression comes from already Knowing, not being afraid, and eccepting change. Then watching the world stand idle. Not even sure wtf this speech is about....

[@adis9889]

ikr

[@hollymacdougall6970]

Totally agree

[@PinkiePow]

I love how they be like: go to an entirely different place! Do something different! But it's only for people who can afford it, like, literally. I guess despite being poor before she's doing fine now.

[@Damian.D]

Awful. We should really be careful with using the word "depression"! It's a real struggle for so many! This is so irresponsible!

[@hajnalipo7209]

Most people who deal with severe depression won't agree with her because what she's talking about is a very light form of it or is not depression at all. Despite all that, it is a good story for people who feel a little bit stucked.

[@ragnarlmao9511]

That's not true at all. Depression is always a matter of body AND mind. Severe depression means that your hormones are out of order, but it happened because of a certain mindset, a trauma, etc. triggering the disorder. I know a lot of people who take meds to feel happy again, but it's more or less a drug-like body high. If you can't fix your mindset, you will always fall back into depression after medication. true happyness comes from the mind and fills the body, not the other way around.

[@Andrea-fd5om]

​@@ragnarlmao9511hi Chronically depressed person here 👋 please be mindful of how you talk about depression If it were as simple as a change in mindset it would be a lot simpler for others to liberate themselves. I am currently on many meds and still depressed, unfortunately. It does not cure depression (generally, and for me) I'd say at most it's barely gotten me to the point where I care to be fixed at all when I usually can't even be bothered to. Any "high" I get is actually a "low" I get from having to take sedatives at the peak of a panic attack. Any high I get from the medications is actually what keeps me from ruining my relationships by letting myself and everything related to me deteriorate because I can't be bothered. I wish people understood that there's a fundamental change in how you view yourself and your world around you when you're depressed. I remember I once had dreams, ambitions and hope. I simply do not have those any more. I can genuinely say I'm only still alive because I don't want to cause anyone else pain by leaving. I've read all the books, talked to many therapists, gone on vacations, gotten hobbies, made friends but at the end of the day it's hollow. I know it's easier for the soul if one thinks that you can have control over your depression, but in many cases it works as any other chronic illness does. You manage it for as long as you can and either you go into remission or you die before you can. At least that's how the last 15 years have felt for me. I might be an odd case though, since my depression is pretty severe and it overlaps with other disorders. Maybe my mind will change one day but until then, please understand that even if choosing to be happy WAS a possibility for people who are depressed, a lot of depressed people are beyond that point, and that's where a large part of the problem lies. At least for me.

[@SurprisedDivingBoard-gr2rj]

​@@ragnarlmao9511🎉

[@monalisakiti]

I totally Appreciate this talk, Very Insightful & Helpful for those of us who suffer , I don't even want to say the D word. Thank You for your kindness & courage in sharing.

[@futuredok]

This was bad. not helpful to me. stop equating sadness or boredom with depression. its not that easy for many people with depression to just get up and change our life when we cant even get out of bed to do the basics of living. also how are we supposed to go on survival mode when people living with depression dont even feel like life is worth living. most people who claim to have depression dont understand what its like to have REAL debilitating depression where you cant escape and meds prove useless. *sigh*

[@CPSLondon]

futuredok very good point, we all have different experiences of depression and therefore different opinions about it. But several members of my family including myself have suffered from what you describe and have spent long periods of time not being able to function at what is probably a very basic level. Not moving, not sleeping, but not being awake either .... the speaker may be nervous as well, but I find her delivery is distracting and the message isn't clear.

[@purplepitch6265]

Well there was a % problem depression thing and 4% is worth worrying about and i guess the other percent could be bad thoughts or bad past And I considered my dog as one of the 4% because its lived for 12 years and it got sick and now its dead so that means its not part of the 4% anymore but for me for some reason it still does

[@One-tf7kr]

I think a possible cure for depression is to literally put yourself in a legit survival situation, as in move to the wilderness and fend for your self with simple tools. It may seem irrational but if done for a year or so it could rewire your brain back to normal. It would take away time from progress in the modern world, but this time will be gifted back to you by returning to the modern world without depression.

[@nereidaperez8756]

futuredok thanks I was about to watch this !!!

[@rachaelhutchings1785]

It's so frustrating can you imagine if we said ti's about parkisons or cancer. I'm depressed right now and my brain is not functioning normally. I recommend Dr Helen mayberg Ted talk to me she sees it as an actual illness on par with physical. It made me realise everytime someone says just be grateful or sort yourself out I have an illness. This is the most severe depression I have had and I don't know if I'll come out of it.

[@voila2207]

I read the comments here, the woman may has not presented some factual things and expertise but she simply shared her life story and what she learnt from it. Depression has many faces and one of them is what she showed and experienced. I only disagree with the advise for survival mode,, because if people have been abused shortly or lond time they go into survavial mode and live as another personality, different than themselves. Survival mode is a coping mechanism and also has its downs. What I am trying to say and leave here is simply let the woman shares her story, her feelings and experience, don`t ever disregards anyone`s life. You wouldn`t like that done to you? People who goes and have gone terrible things in life, deserve to be heard no matter how similar or different their story is.

[@aurakh2444]

I love the idea. Thanks. I used to love art and traveling. Now I'm just curling in my bedroom and do nothing for years.. I forgot who I am. You're right I will search on some part time job. I need to break free from comfort zone

[@jean-sebastienpelerin828]

Sometimes we need to go astray of our path to remember why we were following that path, I get that now, I hope I will be able to

[@peterstye]

THIS IS BRILLIANT!!! I discovered that this is how you kill depression instantly. I was hoping that she wrote a book on this topic but i couldn't find any. Millions of people are suffering from depression and this is the cure i'm telling you.

[@francinejones2524]

So what’s the cure?? I missed it lol

[@ellenmmt]

Thank you for sharing your story with us!

[@mumuuuuo]

This is a great story. But her situation is not depression, or at least a very low form of depression. Her story is rather how I got out of a rut, how I rediscover my passion.

[@KFlanfam]

I needed to hear this. Thank you

[@OCDTraci]

I feel bad for saying so, but this speech was painful to listen to (and not bc of depression.) Now I understand what interviewers deal with when they have to sit through a candidate stumble over every word

[@muskmallo9623]

i was waiting for the point, and in the end, didnt get it.

[@pauladrakeford1612]

This has brought together all my thoughts I've recently been having.thank you.

[@muphyna]

Every single ted talk of people talking about how they beat their depression there is always people saying “thats not what depression is”. And honestly, I get it. No, im mot invalidating this lady’s experience, but I think most people searching for videos like this are deeply depressed and looking for a glimpse of hope or help. And positivity is not something you experience often when you are stuck in a depressive vicious cycle and haven’t been able to do the simplest tasks despite having tried over and over again. You just want to stop the pain and find a solution that would actually work. Like guaranteed to work. So to see someone who claims to have felt like that before but somehow found their way out by doing things that never worked for you or just don’t fit in your reality feels like a slap in the face. And the only possible explanation you can think of is that they weren’t as depressed as you. So for those who clicked on the video looking for a solution and left being even more frustrated when you realized that was not it, please dont give up. I know sometimes videos like this might make you think you really are a lost cause since your circumstances dont allow to follow the same path. But there isn’t only one way out. If watching too many of this videos is only reminding you of what is keeping you from changing your life and reinforcing that idea of “there is no hope”, consider taking a break from them. Breaking free from depression is breaking free from a thought pattern that is so ingrained that you cant even see anything else outside of it. And trust me, there is A LOT outside of it, you just cant see it now. So if these videos are not helping, ditch them. And find things that remind you of whats still out there for you

[@Onlinesully]

nice lady. and some of the points are good. I struggle to agree with the comment that it doesn't matter how successful you are or how much you love what you do. i guess what she is saying is that even if you are very successful or love what you do, depression can still get you. for many it is the lack of success or not liking what they are doing that brings them to the dark place.

[@belle3055]

Sow AG I’ve a brother that always dreamed to be a designer, he’s studying grafic design, he’s good at it, been drawing since he was born, everything he always wanted... but now unfortunately he’s very depressed, he’s also very known and has a lot of clients ...

[@francinejones2524]

I feel so stuck atm. Things aren’t good right now for me. Thats why I’m here. I’ve fallen down the well…

[@klanderkal]

Same here.... im looking for anyway to feel better?.. or find a cure. I had so much bad things happened to me... like trauma. That destroyed me and my life. The Stress caused stress, insomnia, anxiety and depression. ... Its unbearable! Is all I can say..

[@MatPapryka]

it worked for you, it's not for everyone

[@SurprisedDivingBoard-gr2rj]

Nyc one 🎉

[@andrewc.2952]

Poor delivery, I couldn't follow what she was saying. She tried I guess.

[@Choppy313]

Like which um I guess? which I guess? I think?? I think actually?

[@hollymacdougall6970]

Andreas C. People like this should not even be allowed to get onstage for Ted

[@andrewc.2952]

She hasn't learned aspects of public speaking. I'll bet that if she was talking to a group of a couple people, she might be totally different. I'm hoping she has gotten better since this happened.

[@JohnDoe-xi6xl]

Awful delivery; turned off right away.

[@dorindabourke6945]

Thank you. I needed this.

[@jd42305]

Not much substance here. The highlight is when she said "and then I took a one way trip to... somewhere." What was the big message: "guys, if you're depressed, you need to make a CHANGE." You don't say?

[@emvee6959]

Thanks, Ruth, this is a very good insight

[@hollymacdougall6970]

This is incredibly unrehearsed. She can not describe how depression feels or what it is. The fear of change, the unknown, being judged is ANXIETY. Depression is lack of motivation. Totally different. “It [depression] is connected with the arts”. Are you kidding me? There is no science or research behind this speech.

[@Damian.D]

TED is obviously a platform for everyone who wants to share his or her experiences... The problem is that often they speak about serous issues and they are NOT professionals in the field. It's really funny though how cool and powerful they want to look speaking there, as if they were real experts. It's painful and funny at the same time :)))) 😂

[@pamelabarker3602]

Thank you it helped

[@Damian.D]

@@pamelabarker3602 I really mean it - depression is not a term everyone should be playing with.

[@thegingersquad2443]

👏👍

[@biaripardo3385]

Ikr... This video is not helpful.

[@biaripardo3385]

@Wizard Khat not in all countries.

[@nicolaberti7698]

Why this is the story of my life ... I've lost all inspiration in playing and composing music... I guess I have to make a change in my life but Im so afraid of the unknown..

[@Damian.D]

I feel you. Loosing inspiration is painful. Life can be tough, especially when we are surrounded by Instagram stories of happy, healthy and "perfect" people... It's insane the pressure nowadays

[@hannahmiller5515]

I think about euthanasia every day because of all the times I allowed people to harm me thinking I was stacking up invisible future rewards. Maybe it was required to let me survive those times, maybe not. I continue to allow people to harm me and am helpless. Being alive is not a desirable experience

[@jhanvisoni2963]

How are you doing now?

[@jeremycyclingbelgium]

That was beautiful! We all have to learn a lesson from that.

[@ghostatnight8457]

Playback Speed: 1.75x

[@imanouu3932]

Thank u 😂🙃

[@liamgriffiths7767]

1.5 worked better for me

[@beautifulcaramelman]

2x for the win

[@armandeepsingh6357]

I want to share my story. I had been inactive from past 1 year because I lost my job due to which I stayed at home doing nothing and just killing the time on the bed. I went to depression and thought of taking my life. But I am so afraid of dead that I can’t take my life. I don’t know what to do. Can somebody help me.

[@klanderkal]

I had the best job ever. I loved driving the city bus, and had 20yrs.. Then, I made a foolish mistake.. My job was on the line... I started to stress so badly. I got anxiety and insomnia... and was so afraid. When I lost my job, I lost my life. I got horrible depression.. and I just hate myself now. I don't like living anymore..... this is so unbearable!..

[@monogramadikt5971]

came here looking for something to grab onto, found nothing

[@carlyellisemarie]

I really loved this , she did so well 😊🌻

[@JamesMcCain-vt7uv]

Hi

[@rajuaerati803]

Love you Ruth

[@denizadagoren2419]

Thanks

[@Heizungsrohre]

Bad speech, good point

[@Onlinesully]

max hammen yes she makes some good points. just needed a little more preparation.

[@sanayalove9194]

Depression isn't a choice. I have been scared since as long as I can remember. I hate change so much.

[@ranjithkumar-bc6qt]

good one

[@lindaqchannel725]

Too much you know, you know, should practice more

[@kadukadaver]

It's funny to see how people who doesn't have depression tell that it's a choise and condition, thas why i think psychology is the most flaw of the sciences. The mind/brain is to complex and individual with alot of variable's to be a unique or system of treatment. Everything that a professional of the area can do is follow a treatment base on a study base on multiple groups, and still not nails you're specific problem, must have to unlock the brain at yours fully potential to began to understand and make more precise decision otherwise is just guessing.

[@denizadagoren2419]

Good speach

[@ISIHIA23]

survival mode is something tooootally different. I understand what she means but that term means something different

[@toddanthny123]

I dont have a fear of change, i dont sit around thinking of things that traumatised me i dont have flashbacks or anything . But it aeems like i could be in survival mode i have alot of the symptoms ...how do you know?

[@kashishraj1664]

The only thing i can use to get out of this is regret of past

[@kenwise4596]

This woman has no idea what depression is or how to deal with it.

[@asalangstrumpf2616]

don't deal with it. ppl like you should let it happen

[@albertpidde1268]

@@asalangstrumpf2616 hope someone close to you will share the experience, lets see if you still think that way

[@gustavocastroortiz7645]

Just wonderful, I have been researching "how to get rid of depression and stress" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Hanincoln Nanlivia Framework - (should be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some decent things about it and my friend got excellent success with it.

[@jonnavalley5471]

Lovely Video! Sorry for the intrusion, I would appreciate your thoughts. Have you thought about - Lammywalness Erase Depression Guide (google it)? It is a smashing one of a kind guide for beating depression fast minus the hard work. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my friend finally got great success with it.

[@ninijohannaq]

She has no idea if anything

[@LetArtsLive]

I will make a change I will get out on my e-bike and live on it for a week on the streets like I used to do when I was homeless and think about my life

[@DaanZijp]

This isn't really a deep depression. this is not having depression, this is more of being depressed. Depression isn't solve by throwing all away and starting all over. That does not work.

[@jlasnotiwejlah7719]

Probably, but she just helped me with mine.

[@abcdefuxkk]

That was not a depression.. but its okaaayyy .. you dont snap out of depression like that ..

[@natashakhan5196]

I can't find anything here I came to look for.

[@jan12chen]

you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know

[@Chocol8chan]

It's really annoying how she kept trying to make certain things funny. Specially when she thinks everyone would understand her humour or what shes talking about, like when she says: "cus you know what happens when you give too much drama to your thoughts" No, i dont know. Thats why im watching a ted talk from someone whos meant to have been through the rut im in. I don't have the same humour as you and you're making me over think trying to understand them, only to realise later it wasn't even important and you were just trying to be funny. People like me just want to be out of this seemingly infinite invisible prison. I just want out.

[@ch.boucetta1688]

The word u know was mentioned appropriately 82 times in case u were wondering!

[@raqui174]

English is not her first language. I’m sure you would of done a much more amazing jobs

[@tebogomasela5382]

How do you find a balance between pressing the reset button and taking care of your family and honoring your financial obligation?

[@robinryan1835]

You know you know

[@Vpopov81]

This speech seems unplanned alot of ums and uhhh

[@Onlinesully]

Victor Popov she have a good crack at it. but more prep was needed.

[@nathanleavitt404]

Honestly I find it refreshing as many TED talks seem overly scripted and a bit plastic.

[@Vpopov81]

@@nathanleavitt404 whatever floats your boat

[@monalisakiti]

Did you not listen to her Introduction ? She said right off she was better at singing because she found it difficult to express herself Talking because her childhood wasn't safe.

[@VegHui]

give her a break, this is real that people stumble, and it's hard to talk about mental health

[@muskmallo9623]

she didnt help me get out of mine tho

[@Chocolatesauce81]

I don’t think this is depression this is a single person with no responsibilities doing something different and resetting good for her but not the right title

[@maelle-coachdenviedeuil]

Very interesting. ✨

[@kazimabedi5596]

TBH, it's her way of fighting Depression, there are thousands of possible ways and this is one of them... Try once, if this works for you, it's for you else, just try something else...

[@lisahulder1772]

Fall back in love again? 😅 Sadly I always hated my job, but I also don't know what else to do

[@Notjordan1206]

Yeah what exactly was any of this even about? I’m glad for her I think or else sorry that happened

[@ellyrenee]

In summary: don’t be depressed

[@Haileyrodriguez288]

But when ur blushing it’s easy to get judged

[@anilcanungoren8942]

i dont understand what is this survival mode

[@belle3055]

anilcan ungoren go search

[@anilcanungoren8942]

i know the survival mode in games but in real life ??

[@skurai]

Wtf are u even rambling about

[@chennurufaizulla625]

Was it a piece of advice??? It was like a bio story!!

[@thegingersquad2443]

You're saaying exactly what all "coachers" saying. Please don't think that you know something about depression or severe depression when you are not a proffesional or experienced it yourself. I'm getting tired of all these "I had one struggle and now I know how to sell my story and coach people". If you we're my friend on FB I would unfriended you for this speech.

[@damonm3]

What’s wrong with a positive comment on FB... hmm. It’s all about your intent

[@ninijohannaq]

Don’t waste your time watching this

[@salmak7874]

Too many filler words with very less content. Sorry didn’t enjoy it at all.

[@maysmith3473]

Ummm ahhh aaa it's ahhh ummm ; nope 👈🙅💆

[@jenananda1]

It's obvious English is her second language. Give her a break.

[@OCDTraci]

Sorry, no. She is giving a public speech and should be better prepared. Otherwise, she risks losing the attention of her audience.

[@redinabloogs8477]

lol

[@Paula_Shelton]

The most incoherent babble I’ve ever heard. Just awful.

[@wheretonext1158]

Dismissive avoidant attachment style . Like lil baby or Gucci mane. Positive view of self negative view of others.

[@Bella_Love_123]

I thought Ted was a platform for people who could speak properly? Umm, like, uhhhh…

[@nicoleadiaz1]

This was a lot of word vomit

[@flavia83]

Lousy. And no, I won't give her grace, TED is supposed to be curated, that's why I watch it. This sucks. Didn't even finish it.

[@biaripardo3385]

That's a very bad ted talk. There is no cohesion in the speech. She talks loads of sentences without really saying anything. I'm sorry, but it wasn't helpful and I'd say it's a disservice to depressed people. It's a serious illness that shouldn't be discussed by unprepared people, who believe themselves to be experts, but have no real formal education on the topic.

[@davidwarren6651]

Probably one of the worst Ted Talks I’ve ever listened to. I’m sorry but I got absolutely nothing from her

[@sabrinababiixo]

This did not help … whatsoever

[@diwakarpant9415]

Incoherent

[@Plehemslp]

No )::)::):):):)):):):):):):):)

[@johnnyroc]

How does someone like that get a ted talk dang. So much rambling and trite nonsense. I’ve seen more wisdom at a coffee shop.