Surviving Your Dysfunctional Family's Emotional Cancer: Enmeshment

In dysfunctional families, ENMESHMENT or over-closeness is an overabundance of a good thing. Just like cancer, it is an overgrowth of togetherness and closeness. This enmeshment process is very damaging, emotionally disabling, painful, and pervasive in the lives of those who suffer in enmeshed families.
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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.
***DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.***

[@jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇 Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027 ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self

[@apacur]

"Don't get out of your family. Get your family out of you."

[@eleniallen2083]

Hello A E, I love that... get them OUT..!!! kzbin.info/www/bejne/rYKxZp9tqq-gl6s please tell me what you think xxxx

[@dischargesummary8794]

A E as within so without

[@lessandra602]

So so difficult

[@davidkellett2696]

A modern proverb!!!!!

[@mandolaa]

Spiritual cleansing

[@TJ-kz1ul]

I tried limiting contact with my enmeshed, dysfunctional family and it did nothing but cause rage and anger towards me. I no longer got caught up in the emotional rollercoaster and I was kicked out of their lives, only to be baited back in several months later. Eventualy, I walked away for good, and it was the best decision of my life. I feel like a caged bird set free.

[@JoeMcKenzie888]

I'm going to do this soon. Wish me luck.

[@Sunny-vm4ry]

wWorking through it right now!

[@Sunny-vm4ry]

Working through it right now!

[@Sunny-vm4ry]

@@JoeMcKenzie888 How's it going for you? Takes a Long time!

[@natural3362]

​@@JoeMcKenzie888 wish you luck

[@melaniel7263]

“The main point is to change you and not them” - Love this!! Thank you so much Jerry!

[@ladennayoung2939]

Yep. Exactly. That is very important to know.

[@mackaready1]

"Family is there if there is a crisis or we're talking about somebody else." Wow I haven't heard a more accurate statement about my F. O. O.

[@whatthis4366]

Feel that is my family. Wow, I just learned today and I am 50 years old!!!!! Thank you Jerry for waking me up!

[@ladennayoung2939]

Especially if they are talking about someone else.

[@DSS712]

"It appears to them you're arguing water is not good for people. And that's how they hear it." This is such a perfect analogy to describe why my conversations with them could never go anywhere productive.

[@miuthub7954]

My parents get angry at me when I suggest going for walks and exercise 😂 Took me a long time to realise I was not saying anything bad to deserve a negative response but felt "bad" after the inevitable downward spiral in conversation.

[@rondae7121]

I finally have a ME!! Oh my gosh. Boundaries are so good. I'm less reactive, calm, enjoy my solitude. You can only change yourself and what you allow in your life.

[@Walklikeaduck111]

I really thought that emotional enmeshment was emotional intimacy. I couldnt understand why it didnt make sense. Why my parents didnt seem at all interested in me remotely or care abt connecting with me. Yet we were supposed to be together all the time. Finally age 42 i realise what i wanted was intimacy and connection..what is there is enmeshment. Its the opposite of intimacy

[@StarJar58]

This is really awesome. I found that enmeshment was a main part of the schizophrenia I developed. Also my family’s last name ‘Clingman’ was like an affirmation to ‘cling’. It was like breaking up cement to resolve. Jerry, I wish I could have heard you years ago, but I’m still getting a ton ou

[@kimberlynorato135]

thats interesting, that you think the closeness was too much for your mental health. i have a diagnosis too that i dont agree with and ive been on meds. i want to go off the meds now that im in no contact but my doctor is against it.

[@PeteS_1994]

That’s interesting. In my family my mum had schizophrenia and her brother also suffers from a mental illness. She has a sister which I feel probably has issues but functions better. I feel this is probably because of how toxic the family is. I don’t even know my aunt or uncle as I grew up never meeting or speaking to them till last year.

[@LucaAnamaria]

I find that being gaslit can also lead to psychosis. When the reality of your own thoughts, emotions, and personal experience gets denied on the daily, it can be hard to know what reality is exactly as there is no anchor to reality. It gets destroyed.

[@mindkindmom]

@@LucaAnamaria This is so true, it is crazy-making, the gaslighting, invalidation, double-binds. I had to suppress feeling anything to stop myself from going mad.

[@raphaelavelasquez4706]

No word are "too harsh" to describe my family. They are criminal.

[@xyz12383941]

I hope you are keeping yourself safe. You are not alone--there are many of us. Take care.

[@wordswordswords.5422]

yea, I get it. I'm so sorry.

[@Sandromeda.]

But I would definitely say that a natural emotional distance follows when you get a physical distance to your family. It might not resolve the issue and yes you might attract toxic partners but it is a relief and really a helpful first step towards self differentiation.

[@rochellecaffee1417]

Family is only ONE of my “enmeshment” problems. I am also dealing with “enmeshment” within my “religious” family, and further, into my “culture” problems. I am finding it very difficult to HAVE. A PRIVATE SPACE AWAY FROM ALL OF THEM. And THEN, if i take my private space back, i have to deal with “mental health people’s perceptions or projections that i “am ISOLATING TOO MUCH”…another form of “enmeshment” where other’s advice is “unasked for”. I have been spending too much time and energy “fighting them (all) off, which is “fruitless” in the end”. THIS is My Problem to solve, and i accept responsibility for what and how i will handle it. I will stop “feeding the problem” with my “focused attention”, today, and DO what I want to do. Thank you, Jerry. It’s been fun.

[@jonathanakerele8006]

Thanks for posting this, Jerry. You hit the nail on the head. My mom and some of my other relatives are the same way. Someone always has to be bossing everyone else around with quips and threats. It's annoying and makes home feel like a prison. Leaves me feeling empty and alone. Attachment scares me too. When someone, especially a pretty female, starts to think highly of me and wants to be around me, I get nervous thinking I don't deserve it and wondering how this will cause problems at home as my relatives falsely praise me in front of my friends and then tease and harass me after those friends go home for the day. That's one big reason why I'm a loner and keep to myself. My family can't stay out of my business. They always have to have an opinion or a suggestion over what I should do. (Sigh). =(

[@melaniel7263]

Jonathan Akerele I’m sorry to hear how you feel. My suggestion would be to learn some effective assertive communication techniques to help you deal with them. Meanwhile start to assert your boundaries both emotionally and physically. You only have low self worth because of negative family conditioning. But you are most definitely worthy of a better life . Perhaps the only way out is physically distancing yourself from them, if possible so you can build your life free from their judgement. It’s your life, you get to decide. Nobody else does. Best of luck xx

[@priscillagrrr4405]

Stay strong! I hope you were able to follow through on some dates in spite of the lack of support from your family!

[@kimberlynorato135]

i understand this. i dont want anyone to meet my family of origin because they are threatening and bullies. i feel i was robbed of a good family as i could never have a white wedding. i met someone a few years back who wouldnt date me either because of his "mom"...thats a hard pill to swallow as a female. i had to let him go because at my age im not answering to anyones "mother"...i have that enough in my family. i would suggest distancing yourself from family if you want to find a tru connection with a female.

[@ladennayoung2939]

​@@melaniel7263❤❤❤

[@lilas1999]

Your analogy's perfect for those who know how bad life in a narcissistic family is.

[@tbd5082]

No way, if you warn them of your boundaries they will adapt with the info and they will use that against you.

[@Sandromeda.]

I experienced the same. Now they are only better at their games. "I know you don't want to talk about it and I respect your boundaries, but..." and then they do and say the exact same things

[@pryingopenmy3rdeye439]

I had a similar experience from my mil. An actual written letter that was mailed to me saying she was breaking my boundaries and that she hoped I understood and forgave .....

[@pryingopenmy3rdeye439]

Clairvoyante I just turn off notifications for mil/fil..... until... tbd ... lol....

[@VeryBerrrry]

Accurate.

[@Franzifii]

Not all Families. But probably a whole lot of them.

[@user-jc4xv5jl8v]

God bless you! I married into an enmeshed family. The man that i married is so enmeshed with them. I'll continue setting healthy boundaries.

[@Sandromeda.]

True. When I realized what was so dysfunctional through my reading and my trainig as life coach I really thought I could be the facilitator of change. I did that, teaching and educating. Worst idea ever. Nothing changed, it made things worse! Way worse! Because now they like me even less, but pretend to do. They still control and abuse like before but adjusted their narratives. Now they do it by using the words I taught them. It is awful.

[@LemonScissors]

HAhaha omg its true. I learnt not to expose my wisdom/understandings to them cause then they would act all intelligent and give lectures and gaslight like they knew better than me. Keep your wisdom to yourself! Dont give them more tools ♥

[@mosim9691]

Come on! Preach it brother, friend! "Get your family out of you." POWERFUL & DEEP!

[@junepeyer1200]

Great explanation! I am in (and have been for a while) the same situation with my family. I am a retired police officer and suffered a lot of push back from my family especially during my police career for not being able to take off at the drop of a hat for birthday parties and holiday events. My mother was very narcissistically injured as a parentified child of a very co-dependent mother and alcoholic father. You can see the set up here. I am the middle child of seven and have been scapegoated in my family of origin. When we were younger (1970s), my mother enrolled all seven us us in a professional ballet company for classes(three brothers, too) and we were featured on a local TV program and an article was written about us in the local newspaper. Talk about living vicariously and over exposure. It was very damaging. When my husband and I moved to Germany for his job after my service retirement, my family acted like I was abandoning them and I understand why- the enmeshed ego mass has lost a member.. After my mother died three years ago, my oldest sister slipped into the role of replacement mother, so to speak. She took to social media in attempt to quash my opinions and field of study- psychology- vocation number two for me. She called me estranged, distant and shunning of my siblings, although I am not. Attempts to communicate free of triangulation are NON EXISTENT. But I understand why this is so. Once I thought being the scapegoat was the worst family role, but I have in the last several years fully realized my silver lining. Studying psychology has helped me understand all of the dysfunction I grew up with. I am also in the middle of writing a book about growing up this way. While I wish my family could come to a more healed place, I know they need to come to it on their terms. I’m not happy about what happened in my childhood and the damage my parents have done, but I understand WHY these dynamics occurred and have decided to make that understanding a vocation and a book. For me, this is an example of taking lemons and making lemonade out of them. Thanks again Jerry Wise! This knowledge can get people out of their mental prisons!!!!!

[@theperfectautumn8781]

Pearls, just pearls!! Thank you once again.

[@jerrywise]

You are very welcome!

[@Franzifii]

"Cancer" is a really good way to describe it. Sometimes I would even say it's a very special type of hell.

[@jerrywise]

I agree. Please join as a paid member for $1.99/month on my KZbin channel, click JOIN and support the free videos on my KZbin channel, also you will get notifications of upcoming events and additional helpful recovery information. Also, I have another workshop coming up in April 10, 2021 “Overcoming Shame and Guilt with Family-of-origin Work It will be April 10th Saturday 1-5pm EST on Zoom Sign up on website to get info on workshops www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/event-details/overcoming-guilt-and-shame-through-family-of-origin-work-workshop Sign up now for early bird price I also have three other workshops for rent or sale on my website: • Introduction to Self-Differentiation-Workshop • Reducing Your Reactivity-Workshop • Getting Your Family-of-Origin Out of You-Workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com

[@erolgermannemmanuel5637]

I watch & rewatch your therapy videos & I always find something new I can understand, thanks so much for your free help, dear mr. Wise, Sir !

[@hauntinghour8801]

You put your trust love and self worth in the hands of people who you most care about but the truth is they don't think you are worthy of anything besides endless hatred and rejection so be careful where you put your trust sometimes family is not what it meant to be

[@MsKariSmith]

I agree with the metaphor; Enmeshment = Cancer , so very accurate and very hard to separate ourselves from. Yes, we need to heal all the hurts from our narc parents. That is a given. But what about the future? We need to address the fact that this kind of personality disorder is passed on and on and on. What about "Prevention"? I have said it before and I will say it again here; (I know it is drastic and no one has the courage to say it, but I will) All would be parents should be tested for their mental stability and for personality disorders that can harm children. If tested positive, they have to get help or not have children. "No if ands or buts!" That would eliminate a huge number of abuses being passed down from generation to generation. Parenting shouldn't be a hit or miss thing, resulting in all kinds of problems. Sure it's been our right to reproduce, but with all the problems out there ....why should it be our right? Why doesn't anyone else see this an important issue to address? It's time our race took responsibility for a better, happier future, and that means not winging it and later on giving excuses like; " I did the best I could" ( when you know that is total BS )

[@misskarmen]

I do agree with your proposal. If anyone has ever experienced being raised by these types of parents, they would p8lely qgree with you, as well. As a young child, we are pir through hell. So lost. So alone. So confused. So gaslit. No child should have to pray every night for salvation only to feel the sting of disappointment night after night. Im not bitter. Ive just been narcississtically abuser.

[@Sandromeda.]

@@misskarmen I agree with Isca's comment and my heart goes out to you, Tammy. 🙏

[@misskarmen]

Trust and Believe these "people" have no low to which they will not sink. They can, will and do commit moral, social and legal crimes to small and large in their bizarre desire to destroy you. Trust and Believe!

[@jassygemini1]

I’m trying to move out of enmeshment and I definitely can feel me fighting for my right to be me and the push back from my family to try to keep me enmeshed

[@watercolour8719]

This is really important information, especially for those that don't even realise they are being enmeshed and abused, the analogy is very triggering though, and I would have avoided it had it not been Jerry Wise ..

[@ELIZA-kz9mf]

I am here because my therapeut explained me about this and how this dynamic affected my ex relationship. This information is usefull.

[@ksteed1167]

New subscriber here. Want to say thank you. i have been looking into meeting with a clinical psychologist to help me work thru my issues...these videos have helped me until i'm able to pay for sessions. Also, the title grabbed me as my father just died from cancer and i'm struggling with my enmeshed family. This video was very helpful.

[@jerrywise]

Welcome to the family! I'm really glad my videos are helpful, the struggle is real when it comes to healing from our need of enmeshment (and resisting the need of the family for us to be enmeshed)- this playlist can be helpful as a start kzbin.info/aero/PLoYQTW09i3W12E61oiI1NvYkIyoXMgc3u

[@asstanley8438]

I think my enmeshment with my mother got worse before it got better when everybody got the internet on their phone. When I left home at 23 and went to live in London, it cost about 50p to send a text to Ireland! so I do remember being very succinct in my communication and so was she. Then when we all got whatsapp, viber, messenger, email on our phones, I was back to her asking me what I was thinking about x, y and z, and then she would tell me what she thought about what I was thinking, ha.... I communicate only the minimum now. It is very common now to read the suggestion to go no contact but I want to get my family out of me so that I can be around them without feeling so exasperated.

[@bulbasaur9291]

Thank you Mr.Wise, your videos have tremendously helped me understand my emotional issues and difficulty to function as an adult in society. Your content has helped me get started on the path of self differentiation

[@LemonScissors]

Same here! Hope you are very proud of yourself ♥

[@raphaelavelasquez4706]

I wish you could do video about the more dangerous version of dysfunctional families like mine where the offspring all wind up disabled or dead and the "parents" live to a ripe old age.

[@dischargesummary8794]

Raphaela Velasquez jeez

[@BlackbirdNine]

Yes! I would love to see a video like that too!

[@sshuteandrew]

Sounds like MAJOR control issues on behalf of parents. I see this in my family of origin.

[@debrushton6778]

Wonderful support! Thank you from my heart! You've made a huge difference in my perceptions of family health and issues of dysfunction. Many souls are touched by these videos

[@fekete-kiss-sandor]

Yes, your videos are real therapy. I look now many of them. Thanks, Ferry for your help.

[@mr.anindyabanerjee9905]

Enmeshed boundaries are inversely proportional with Self-Differentiation. Extraordinary video Sir Jerry. Thanks❤🙏😊

[@jerrywise]

Absolutely!

[@livingwell6114]

Your videos are therapeutic.

[@joanfolds476]

This is an excellent presentation! I needed to listent to this when it was first posted. So glad I'm hearing it now.

[@jerrywise]

Glad it was helpful!

[@wondercorealbum1116]

Powerful concept that I never viewed quite this way. I’m in ACA, which is transformative. This is the next step of awareness.

[@jerrywise]

I’m glad you found it helpful. Awareness is key

[@LemonScissors]

Love how the video is named. Thank you for your wonderful helpful videos, Jerry. You are precious ♥

[@LisaS1]

Over 20 years ago I brought up me and my 2 teenage boys coming to Christmas to my sister and she said "no" in so many words and she said her kids would get more presents then my kids and ...... So my relationship with her went downhill and now it seems we've become estranged. It hurt that she didn't want me to come to Christmas. I learned not long ago that it was her daughter that told her, well mom if she comes then I'm not coming.

[@katherinebruce500]

@JD Jones Or allowing he daughter to manipulate her.

[@danielletirpkoff4167]

Mr. Wise, Thank you for sharing your videos. And thanks for giving very good points.😍

[@Shines-On]

So, you've met my family? Lol I had to go No Contact with my parents because I was getting triggered by my mom and losing my mind, just exploding with my rage at her. My poor kids have seen that rage misplaced towards them, my husband also. I finally had to stop talking to them and figure out what was going on. I knew that kind of behavior was beyond hurtful. All I know is that I had to put some distance between us and figure out what was making me so explosive. I feel bad because my mom (finally) called on Christmas and I let it go to voicemail. But until I'm in a better place, healed? (I can only hope and pray for that) I just can't trust myself. Thank you so much for these videos. They have definitely helped me. And helping me means helping my husband and my kids.

[@fgbowen]

15:41 - you are brilliant. Love this!!

[@mariadaquila7587]

Jerry, thank you for this excellent advice. It's really useful and very much appreciated!

[@raquelt5342]

This was a HUGE eye opener for me, thank you for posting this. I could never quite figure out what was wrong I knew some of the obvious stuff in my family but I’m finally understanding this is a huge part of what’s happened

[@amandagillies9231]

Thank you Jerry.

[@bleuneptune]

God... most people of Chinese culture are doomed.. my family (extended one as well) is full of enmeshment. My parents still treat me like a kid even though I am 33. Sigh.. Too much togetherness and lacking boundary is a norm in Asian cultures.

[@thunderrunner666]

I'm thinking this may be some unconsciously ingrained leftover from all the wars, forced separation, and cultural/social baggage we had in our history unfortunately. This may take a few generations before a healthy balance is found. I don't know, it's hard to say. For my part, just thinking out loud. Best of luck to you.

[@andreajohnson5100]

I spent years dealing with my birth mothers emotional ,and mental issues,she never wanted or loved me,she made it very obvious,I then preceded, to marry someone much like her,violent, abusive,far too concerned with his mother,(she was like that with her mother)and her every thought and feeling.I am just too tired to deal with him and his families crap after dealing with my abusive parents.Im going to leave,I'm done fighting with him about his lying and backstabbing.I shouldn't have to explain to anyone why I'm a human being.

[@andreajohnson5100]

It is futile to bother with people who are bordering on psychotic and or narcissistic.

[@zakwood3094]

hit the nail on the head: and good advice

[@LisaS1]

I just finished watching your video Jerry; a very good and helpful video; thank you!

[@AsianDHD23]

This is one of the best videos I've watched on Enmeshment! Thank you Jerry

[@karenkasteler942]

Great video.....cancer is s good description of enmeshment.

[@janicemurphy4373]

Yes Jerry I have been helped thank you!!

[@raphaellavelasquez8144]

I put myself in danger coming back to my relatives.

[@miuthub7954]

I do this too, repeatedly like a boomerang because I haven't consistently defined myself. It is hard work and a daily practice.

[@huntforberries]

'you don't have to have a job' 😂 classic

[@mindylehrman6471]

Or “You don’t have to move out; you can stay at home for as long as you want..” But what is at stake?? I’m learning after a broken engagement that my 32 yr old fiancé never leaving his home/family of origin has left him undifferentiated for his age. He’s been afraid of moving out on his own and being lonely. Sometimes that’s just part of finding who we really are as individuals. I’m grateful I moved out in my 20s and am not afraid to be alone or even of the loneliness that comes with it now and then. It’s worth not being able to save a bunch of money to be autonomous and independent. I’d rather pay my own bills than being willingly enmeshed with my parents and siblings at home in my 30s. Some people fear differentiation/individuation; I fear enmeshment, especially after being raised by enmeshy helicopters 🚁

[@miuthub7954]

Sadly these systems can be hard to overwrite when these false ideas have been ingrained for decades and seen as "good". I agree it's ridiculous but can still suck you in. "Grow up but don't leave me" "Grow up don't be yourself" fits well

[@sarazink2237]

Oh man this is goin to be hard!! But I know it needs to be done I have to learn how to be separate from my mom and others!

[@michaelsorrell847]

Thank you so much Jerry this video is spot on made total sense I am trying to cut the emotional chords to my family.

[@LemonScissors]

I support you, Michael!

[@ladennayoung2939]

Yes. Exactly. This is exactly right.

[@mandolaa]

You seem such a sweet and good person. I wish I'd have you as my counselor or therapist! Thank u for your videos though, you've really helped me🙏✨

[@jerrywise]

Thank you so much!

[@ronnyromano2979]

Thank you

[@a.nonymous2089]

You should put some of these up on Your Tango .com. These are great videos.

[@SoniaSonia-qw1zo]

In my situation things could not of been different, I lacked awareness, and I m grateful for what I have, things could of been alot worst, I ve been consulting since 2001

[@thekateresponder]

Thank you for this video.

[@petermaciak8030]

I wish I had enough money to speak with you Mr. Jerry Wiser, like the one on one consultation or in person. I am in the situation you describe in this video. Everything about my family is not normal. Now I am a grown up with the mind/emotions of a child. Is there any books that that you would recommend on self differentiation? Or anything that I could use to get started with this process to remove this cancer and train to be my own self. I don't even know what that is! I just know expectations. I hope some day I have the financial resources to see you , like as a client who pays for your guidance. It's strange being broken. Anyways, thank you for sharing and creating this video Mr Jerry. Once again Thank You Peter.M

[@1siddynickhead]

Peter Maciak Growing Yourself Up by Jenny Brown... Jerry mentioned it in one of his interviews

[@mudbeauty2004]

Thank you so much!

[@tiffanierrodas-zc9et]

I always knew that going no contact was not a good idea mainly because I’m Christian, and I also know that if they pass away, and I have been no contact, but on the inside, I have been hurting and angry and bitter at them then I will feel very guilty, and it will be pointless for me to go no contact. However, this And these videos, have been really helping me to get my family out of me so that way if I do choose to limit my contact with them, or I spend every single day with them, I can feel a calm, even when I am observing triangulation, people calling me a Coca-Cola, people telling me that I don’t care enough, or baiting me in any kind of way. I am trying to learn how to be more empathetic, because I realize I have become a narcissist because of my narcissistic family. But that doesn’t mean I have to allow their issues and them telling me I lack empathy to affect me where then I become a fawning creature.

[@scottschilling7483]

VERY VERY VERY HELPFUL SIR . . . .THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP !

[@milcahsamoei6696]

Jerrywise this soo good, GOD BLESS YOU.thanks for sharing, you are impacting lives here in AFRICA THANK YOU,THANK YOU can't say enough.

[@commonsensetruecrime9635]

Thanks!

[@jennic.548]

Thank you..

[@goodenoughgirl8102]

Omg. That is my sick fam. Grow up BUT........(don’t grow up). Blah blah blah. PUHLEEEEASE make up your dang mind!!!!!

[@vicvic3819]

THANK YOU!!!!!

[@thebadmanreturns]

Amazing video

[@jerrywise]

Thanks for the visit Thank you for writing to me from the Avaiya Conference. Here is your free gift AND I have added another free gift as well Use both of these links to get your free content [either click them, or select and paste them in your address bar] “Annihilation of Our Awareness” drive.google.com/file/d/0B7LvCJ3_xPoRU2NHbGtLWlNQc00/view?usp=sharing 2. Here is a recent workshop on “Reducing Your Reactivity” 3.5 hours drive.google.com/file/d/1fOQ_xMq9p_3wqFNVl7k4EGMchfNOvsZ1/view?usp=sharing Wishing you the best in your life and recovery, Jerry Jerry T. Wise, MA, MS, CLC Jerry Wise Relationship Systems www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com Be sure to subscribe to my You Tube Channel kzbin.info/door/ZWHfOsTVegeEFEXV56llWA “Standing Strong as an Adult Child of the Narcissist” Workshop Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC July 17th, 2021 Saturday, 1-5pm Eastern time On Zoom Topics: The Illusions of the Narcissist The Trauma of Adult Children of Narcissists Living in the War Zone 7 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You Were Raised by a Narcissist 10 Ways Children of Narcissists Love Differently Healing Your Inner Parts and Inner Bonding Resisting Self-hate, Self-shaming, Self-rejection, Self-abandonment Cutting the Emotional Umbilical Cord: Going No Contact or Low Contact with Toxic Parents Superpowers All Adult Children of Narcissists Have And more… Lead by Jerry Wise Founder of Jerry Wise Relationship Systems and You-tubber of over 250 videos. Q & A Role Plays Volunteer participation You will receive the recorded workshop You will receive the notes for the workshop www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/events

[@oljajankovic8432]

Other family thinks that you are the problem, not family of original! The narcisistic mother ore father konvinst them; (

[@catthearts]

FFUUUCCCCCCCKKKKK this is so accurate!!!!! UUGGHHHHHH

[@jerrywise]

Check out our other videos! Hope they help as well

[@lessandra602]

🤦‍♀️ Thank you so very much

[@deckerskaatje7877]

I realised that my family is in all my (important) relations , although nobody of my family is anymore alive.

[@jerrywise]

Great insight

[@Godlywoman88]

So, in terms if changing ourselves in this issue , it basically boils down to establishing personal boundaries, right?

[@jerrywise]

Boundaries are the outward expression of internal detachment. If we establish personal boundaries and are not more detached or neutral, we won't keep our boundaries. So doing both of these important recovery work is essential. Thanks

[@Godlywoman88]

@@jerrywise When you say "more detached", does that also refer to the physical proximity to the toxicity?

[@pinkroses135]

I like that term haha

[@PiolsFlorentino]

6:40 Dad is a fan of NIKE

[@PeteS_1994]

Is it possible for a whole culture to be based on enmeshment?

[@nickieglazer33]

Yes. Spain 🇪🇸 as an example of this narcissistic enmeshed cult -ure.

[@wambuialice957]

waah, this is our damaged family

[@semasariyildiz4346]

I wanted to send this video to my brother but i suppose i better don t. Right?

[@jerrywise]

Yeah probably not a good idea :)

[@semasariyildiz4346]

@@jerrywise thank you very much. I will have to contact you. Best regards from Belgium. I love your video s.

[@stayhoney6863]

Do you charge for the help that you give if we contact you?

[@jerrywise]

Yes, I do, otherwise I could not pay my bills :). Send an email to [e-mail] and I will send you information about working with me, no obligation.

[@gelbeh9829]

Please I need some advice. How to get husband to realise his enmeshment with his family of origin

[@jerrywise]

Thanks for watching G. You are welcome to contact me on my website if you would like to work with me. www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/contact

[@brittneypearson9022]

Do you cost money? I have no money sir.

[@Taradise34]

9:41

[@tbd5082]

If you want to break away you have to turn into a narcissist.

[@nickieglazer33]

No, you really don’t. You have to love yourself more and know that you are enough 🥰 That is the opposite to narcissism which is core shame.