A Narcissist's Outside Angel, Inside Devil

[@hurricaneaquatics]

The thing that surprises me the most about narcissists, is their constant bad mood. Sure, they change moods multiple times a day it seems, but the overall, walking around mood inside the house is anger. When they walk out in public, the nice face is on.....insanity.

[@Hatbox948]

My nex was that way. He'd kind of puff himself up before going out into the world as Mr. Nice Guy. It was definitely a performance.

[@well_weathered]

That's why we can't succumb to it, we can't get consumed with the criminality of it

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@@hurricaneaquatics Eggshells 🙄

[@MGTOWPsyche]

A chronic state of rage. Anger is healthy, rage is wrathful.

[@MGTOWPsyche]

A chronic state of rage. Anger is healthy, rage is wrathful.

[@BarbzSA]

That's why one feels crazy. Because on some level we pick up on the internal rage boiling inside them while they smile and polish their facade.

[@mikeseitz2792]

Its like hitting you with a baseball bat while saying we are a team and I love you!! Insane!

[@cacatr4495]

That's the MindF of it all, that they claim that is love. 🤯 After I left him, I said something to him about his hate, and he said "I didn't hate you!" (Scoff.)

[@amandaliverpool3374]

The smiling assassin 😔

[@well_weathered]

That helps me understand where this is going.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

​@t_nels I don't know, but that's part of my assumption 🤷‍♀️

[@well_weathered]

@amandaliverpool3374 Yeah, Dr C did touch upon the title today. I'm listening again now. I'm looking forward to it.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@t_nels I've yet to listen to the whole stream. Take care and thanks for introducing me to Kerry 💖🙏

[@well_weathered]

​@@amandaliverpool3374Dr Carter had a collaboration with Kerry McAvoy a month ago.

[@alisonsmith7162]

The compartmentalisation across their whole life is astonishing.

[@Dr.DorisTorres]

“Truth is an inconvenience” to the narc. This really hit me 🤯🤦🏼‍♀️ so glad to be moving away from that now… 😅🙏🏼🎉

[@cacatr4495]

I don't think they view it as an inconvenience, I think they view it as a serious problem.

[@Silenceisgolden-o9o]

It’s a soul problem. I’ve lived through it. It’s horrific but prayer helps a lot.

[@yly5991]

My covert malignant narc parent has a facade that they are compassionate, kind, trustworthy and soft & tender hearted. People think they are a person of integrity and empathy. They also cry, in front of people, about hardships other people go through, as though they really care. 🙈 Sadly people fall for their facade! Because of this they are able to smear campaign me and my other parent so easily. Behind closed doors, my narc parent is harsh, cold, hard and unsympathetic and extremely manipulative and malicious. They are incredibly relentless in their abuse! Thankfully we don't live with the narc anymore. But because of their facade, people still trust the narc. A trusted narc is a dangerous narc!

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@@yly5991 Spine chilling 💔

[@DeaconBeanCooter]

Meeeetooo

[@cacatr4495]

Outsiders never know them. They *_think_* they know them, but they don't. They're believing a lie. It's not just that the N lies, it's that they *are one.

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

It truly is the case - you are dealing with two different people- nice in public and terrifying behind closed doors. Healthy, authentic, mature, responsible, respectful and loving decent people are the antidote to the narcisists. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and offering your support dr Carter ❤ God bless you ❤

[@MarianneCatherine]

@@IzabelaWaniek-i1x Amen to that 🙏 🙏🙏

[@jayTee-zp1jn]

Saw a picture of mine with his new belle the other day. I genuinely feel sorry for her and the journey he is going to take her on. All about his control and what he wants to do - covertly, of course. We have no idea until we know. I thought that mine was an utter dream. He is a complete nightmare. A secret, covert controller. Thrives on it via a very hidden agenda of pulling strings.

[@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753]

My Covert narc, who was my first experience (and hopefully my last) with narcissism, was hard to let go of because I loved the person he presented himself to be and was until sometime after we got married. One day, he did the strangest things that could only fluster and hurt me, and without explanation, and I was shocked! I think many people who write comments about 'not seeing the red flags earlier' are probably in a relationship with a covert. In my case, since I'd never heard of love-bombing or narcissism, I thought he was just joyously expressing his enjoyment of falling in love, as I was. Of COURSE we're looking for someone who's in agreement with us on many levels! But then one day down your road together, they switch horses in the middle of the stream... and ruin your heretofore happy home. This is why I tried so hard to get us back to the lovely life I'd enjoyed, but it didn't take long to see that could never happen. We had a messy breakup, and I remained confused about it all until I viewed my first couple videos about narcissism. It's amazing to me that someone with such a ginormous personality disorder (it's BEYOND obvious now that my n-ex is a dark tetrad covert) can walk among us without ever being diagnosed (well, they refuse to attend any counseling) and without any criminal record. (WE DID a thorough check.) Narcs can do a tremendous amount of emotional damage to their spouses and children without doing anything physical. (His 2 previous wives left him; and no kids.) They can be charming and have illustrious careers, as mine did, working in the White House and foreigb embassies. So whoever you are, if you were in a relationship with a narcissist, DO NOT beat yourself up! Why would kind, loving people know about this, or recognize it? I was 70 and I'd never heard of it. My advice is get out and as far away as you can, and love yourself in every way they didn't. And ask our Father God for help, because He loves us all, and He is faithful. Romans 8:28.

[@jayTee-zp1jn]

Agree with you 100%. I adored mine but it was all ‘mask’. Utterly devastating when you realise. Mine had the act pulled off to a tee. He really led me down the garden path. Bit by bit I saw it and just knew it didn’t add up. Real hidden skills. Such a shame that people function like this. I am so glad that I act real. ❤️

[@shannaeverson641]

Mine too, took me 24 years to see it. Only after getting help with my relationship with my covert mom! Now I'm 28 years and separated, moving out and moving on. Hopefully I'll get the Financials settled soon.

[@Ratgirl2]

@@jayTee-zp1jn Yes and yes I'm in the rabbit hole no compromise no rhyme or reason. I'm standing my ground. Hurt turning into bitterness.

[@jayTee-zp1jn]

The further out of the fog you get, the better. Keep your head held high throughout the recovery. ❤️

[@codyshepp7432]

1 Samuel 16:7 KJV - But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.

[@DeaconBeanCooter]

verily! ❤❤❤

[@JasmonTP]

Amen.

[@bereal6590]

I'm not religious, but that is beautiful.

[@mday3821]

Gus looks so peaceful & cozy. Happy Halloween Dr. C. 🎃 👻

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Happy Halloween, and thanks for watching!

[@sylviasmith5045]

In Ireland we call them "Street Angels, House Devils" had and still do have a few in my life. I've learnt to detach myself from them but still sometimes stresses me out. Thankfully I have a couple of friends who have dealt with narcissistic individuals so know exactly what I am talking about. The narcissist is soul destroying. Stay strong.

[@MarianneCatherine]

That's what my family always called them as well. Never heard the term that Dr C said. I guess there's plenty of variations 🤔 Take care and stay strong!

[@Clewerls]

It’s tough when you reach that point where you can no longer allow the narcissist to be part of your inner circle-and the narcissist is your spouse. I stayed with my angel/devil husband for 35 years because I didn’t believe in divorce, and I did believe in God’s ability to change anyone. It totally turned my world upside down. But with good counseling and an honest look at my situation, I was finally able to walk away once my kids had all graduated. Thank you, Dr Carter, for being the first counselor I saw who was able to put a label on what was going on in my marriage. It has taken nearly 20 years for me to come to terms with and act on what I learned from you, but you were spot-on and gave me the first peek at truth.

[@cacatr4495]

My sibling is "in your shoes," they've been married to a malignant N for 56 years now, were seriously thinking about leaving the N back in 1989, but then were dissuaded out of it, I'm sure through manipulation. Their kids graduated from high school by the early nineties, now their kids have kids of their own, and my sibling is still under the N's thumb, on a short leash, and likely fully subjugated to the N's control now at age 76. SMH. Pray for L to see the truth. That abuse was never God's Will.

[@familychromebook1852]

I also think the angel, devil mindset that exists in society is what helps narcissists get away with some of their abuse. If you're an openly authentic mixed bag and they are a fake angel, people are clambering to accept the idea of an angel, they don't stop to think if it's fake. They prefer the image of perfection to real humanity.

[@C.C.1812]

My narcissistic ex said many times: It is stupid to show people your hand of cards. It took me years to finally understand what he meant: for him, authenticity is stupidity, and manipulation and deception are normal. Lying and covering up his true intentions is his default in communication.

[@jennyborst4178]

How sad is that?

[@rhondamarkem4182]

My husband is the most charmimg, friendly dynamic person I"ve ever witnessed. One thing I figured out early in our marrage - whenever we would go to a "get together/party" The minute we got there my husband would abandon me within the first 5 minutes. I'd try to join him in whatever conversation he was in and within a few minutes he'd be gone again. Completely ignoring my presence. I eventually would just find a chair and sit. After charming everyone there - he only bothered to look for me when he was done and ready to leave. And that dynamic personality would "instantly" switch off the minute we were out the door. How many times I have heard "You are SO LUCKY - your husband is just Wonderful!!" My response would be "Yes That's What Everyone Tells Me...." EVERYONE would be shocked to see The Monster we have lived with "Behind Closed Doors".....

[@sissi8610]

Gus is particularly cute today. He is smiling all through the video. I had a shit day, and the smile on Gus' face, sleeping so comfortably on your sofa, takes some of the pain away in relation to a dog in the neighbourhood. We are working to resolve the situation, for the dog's welfare, but it's difficult. God bless you, Dr Carter!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Glad Gus could add some cheer. Hope today is better!

[@sugar1973us]

I'm struggling with the thought of the past evil behavior of the narcissist and now seeing him go to church with the new lady who is religious. He acts as if he's better than me. He even recommended I go to church. The nerve. I was consistently practicing my faith throughout our relationship. He never showed interest. I can understand if he wants to change his life around, but his hurtful behavior still showed itself the few times he interacted with me. As long as he shows no remorse towards how terrible he treated me, I know deep change hasn't happened.

[@elcee7800]

Our doors are always opening and closing whereas they have NO doors. Just a brick wall.

[@shannaeverson641]

@elcee7800 I always was saying this to mine. Your just a brick wall. I could never get through. Now he's crying cuz I left him. Oh boo hoo

[@cacatr4495]

@@shannaeverson641 Quote: "Oh boo hoo." Forgive my laughter: their sorrow is supposed to be meaningful to us, while our sorrow had all the value of dung to them. They just didn't care. Now we are supposed to care? Not going to happen.

[@shannaeverson641]

@@cacatr4495 right! Exactly.

[@Suzanne.574]

Thank you Dr. C., happy snoozing Gus

[@yukio_saito]

My ex-friend looks nice and charming, but his first spouse ran away from home. 🏃‍♀💨🏠 He failed in marriage again. I wondered why such a nice guy divorced twice. After a while, I realized he wasn't nice at all. I had overlooked many subtle red flags. 🚩🚩👀

[@caroleminke6116]

Sometimes you have to actually live with them awhile before the mask drops

[@yukio_saito]

@@caroleminke6116 Yes. It took me long to discern him as a narcissist. Other people around him still buy into his superficial charm,. but I went no contact with them. 📵📴🔕

[@Ratgirl2]

I'm trying I'm going from friend to friend homes. As he texts come home fake and disturbing.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@yukio_saito Appearances are so deceptive. Like a sheep in wolves clothing .

[@yukio_saito]

@@amandaliverpool3374 Indeed. After the second divorce, he easily made a new girlfriend. People around him still like him. 😅

[@PantaRhei-wz5zn]

Is this a pun on INXS "Devil Inside" ? 😀🎵 "Here come the man with the look in his eye He's fed on nothing, but full of pride Look at them go, look at them kick Makes you wonder how the other half live"

[@Geep1778]

devil inside.. devil inside.. every single woman devil inside. Such a catch tune and I can do a nice techno remix on it lol

[@PantaRhei-wz5zn]

"... how the other half live..." Seems to suggest that 50 pct of people might have some sort of narcy traits that are noticeable... Def possible in some entertainment environments imho

[@KP-dd2ci]

Baaa..baa..baa daa ba.... ba da ba daaa....Devil inside, devil inside....

[@ghays9742]

I came across one yesterday they suddenly lash out in anger when you are just trying to be friendly and supportive it's quite chilling a scary experience.

[@cacatr4495]

That's crazy-making, nuts.

[@Hlpinghnd]

Hi Dr. , your videos bring me to tears at times. They hit so deep, It may be a word or a situation. I don't like feeling so deeply. I use to love it until I was harassed and abused for it. Not one part of my life wasn't torn apart. I think it's a curse. It seems like it would be so much easier not to have feelings such as that. I love the endings of your videos. It gives me hope and a smile. To hear you say Free To Be and Peace. Peace is one of the most beautiful things we Should have. Yet they rip it away like they are in titled to it and you aren't. Yet, do they really have peace? No way!!! Thank you, I so appreciate you and Gus for sharing.🫂

[@elcee7800]

@@Hlpinghnd I love your poignant words. Dr. Carter is extremely healing in every aspect. He is an angel sent to us and a cherished friend like no other ❤️🌹.

[@butterflycomb]

The Angel on the outside shows whenever we have company over. After the company leaves the devil come back.

[@cacatr4495]

and at "church," etc. Outsiders know nothing. They believe they know them, but they don't.

[@nicolemctavish9089]

"I need my own cloud." LOL!!! How true, how true. And it has to be the highest cloud!

[@amandagish5976]

Dr. C, you talk about healthy people being introspective. At times, when I want to feel superior, I remember that if I'm healthy, I'll examine myself too and I get grounded by remembering to check myself too. Michael Jackson's song, Man in the Mirror, comes to mind.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

I wish more people thought like you!

[@amandagish5976]

Thank you. It's not easy because I'd like to think I'm always right. But I'm not. 😔

[@amandagish5976]

@@SurvivingNarcissism You taught me to think that way.

[@KBQuick81]

I just thought this today. He is a devil in disguise.

[@eyeofhubris]

The most evil people are wolves in sheep’s clothing.

[@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753]

Well, when does someone working evil announce it?

[@eyeofhubris]

@ frequently it is obvious to tell when someone is evil. The ones who hide their evil well are much more dangerous, because you don’t suspect them.

[@peggybouchard9990]

Bullies with Hollow Souls 😢

[@TruthandJustice-hz9nv]

@@peggybouchard9990 Absolutely tremendous, Thank you for speaking truth :-) Peace, love and respect to you :-)

[@cacatr4495]

@@peggybouchard9990 A hollow soul, that's an apt descriptor for one of my parents.

[@ceri64]

My dad used to say of such people that they hide under a "cloak of respectability!" So true

[@MeCynthiaAnn]

Hi Gus and Dr. C. Always such great information and thank you for all the hard work and team healthy is awesome. Hugs from Cynthia Ann in JANESVILLE, WI

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Glad it was helpful, Cynthia!

[@christinapoor2289]

I consider myself blessed to have come across your channel. I still struggle with the "maybe im wrong about her". Thank you for the reassurance.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

I'm glad you found it helpful! Keep learning!

[@Ratgirl2]

Dr Carter you are the best. ❤❤

[@Red-hot-sonic-fan]

Thank you so much I never would have believed this is a “thing” without you & Dr Romani. I blamed myself for so long. It made me a more self aware and introspective person.

[@aaronkwolfe]

Jeckyll Vs. Hyde where the front door causes the change.

[@PantaRhei-wz5zn]

yes, its all the fault of the Magical Powers of the Front Door 😄 .. as nothing is ever their fault...

[@ChuangSarah]

Or the car door … It’s very scary sometimes… And in the car, you can’t escape

[@lindabell2940]

Cool, Aaron,

[@Dove-gx5gz]

@aaronkwolfe Could you explain the front door reference?

[@aaronkwolfe]

@ The front door is the barrier between outside & inside.

[@LoudonMetal]

Excellent REAL down to EARTH TRUTH Dr. Carter !!!!!!!!! 💯💯💥💥💥💯💯

[@rorrim5627]

❤ TY Dr. C and Gus.😊

[@lyndabrown1626]

And there are other well-known terms such as "Dr. Jekyll" and "Mr. Hyde" or more current terms like a "House Devil" while being a "Street Angel"... all the terms speak to the two-faced narcissist and his mask.

[@andrentshaykolo8058]

Rationalization superiority complexes is something I’ve witness of family members. I find it calming to know it’s not unique to me but perhaps rare in my network. Thank you for redacting the complexity of this personality type to something which I’m aware I do not need to take too seriously. Theatrics are for the film and acting industries respectively, not the career path I’m taking, lol.

[@julienatoli8561]

Hi Dr Carter .. I soo appreciate this video!!! Wow I could have done it myself! I so resonate with everything you're teaching here ... holy cow we live in such a stupid world that tries to convey ... There's no right or wrong! 🤦 and we're all just the same 🤦 so don't judge and just keep on loving them 🤦🤦 That's nonsense!!! Yes we are supposed to judge a tree by its fruit! And yes there is clearly right and wrong thinking and behaviors! .. and NOO we are definitely not all the same!! Some of us are true empaths that absolutely have that beautiful contrite heart! 🕊️🕊️🕊️ and some are detached and it's like they incapable of love. Period.

[@blackhannahofficial]

LOVE the title of this broadcast

[@TruthandJustice-hz9nv]

This was pure gold DR Le's, You're a great bloke, The exposer :-) Thank you so much for this, Speaks volumes, It's that do good deeds and do shady things in the darkness, Speak truth and throws a tantrum, Bubble of illusion bust :-) Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-)

[@nannajulies]

This is so true, always judging, looking for faults in others and blame free, and are super super superior and better than anyone, it is very sad I agree, I do wonder why they don’t have the ability to see what they are like, or do they and don’t care?

[@dubious251]

6:15 I chuckled a little right here. Love your work, Dr. C! Thanks. You’re making a difference.

[@justincooke6073]

Great input Les Always great wisdom and in depth explanation

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks, glad it was helpful!

[@snowbear1877]

It seems truth is a relative concept. My parents accused me of telling lies so I could be placed in foster care. I think they genuinely did not believe that what they were doing was abusive. Same with my sister. Always finds a way to blame and shame me. It's always my fault. Everything. I've brought it all onto myself they say. I am sure that if ever I had found myself to be in a relationship with someone who was violent towards me, my family would have blamed ME, not the perpetrator. I would have received no family support at all.

[@MarianneCatherine]

@@snowbear1877 I'm so sorry 😢

[@bereal6590]

My mother to me about my d.v. ex, "I could have handled them". Funny that because she didn't tell my raging father to stfu! No, she and of course I have to placate him! He even told me a he was ill because of me and she went along with that! I went totally off the rails by the time I was15. ✌

[@darinsmith2458]

There is a spiritual aspect to this..

[@moonpi9349]

@darinsmith2458 sooo very true. I've been spiritually attacked by my narcissistic ex on and off for the past 10 years. I believe he holds a very high ranking dark entity in his vessel that absolutely DESPISES my high ranking light. He's literally the Devil

[@dakoderii4221]

Matthew 23:25-26 25 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. 26 Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also. Matthew 23:27 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.

[@justincooke6073]

Proof that Jesus dealt with narcissistic people Thanks for sharing the scriptures bro

[@justincooke6073]

Amen Acts 2:1-38 is the only way to be saved

[@justincooke6073]

Acts 2:1-38 is the only way to be saved

[@codyshepp7432]

@@justincooke6073 thats for the jew before Peter was converted. Its baptism with the Holy Ghost. Water baptism does not save you

[@stalphonsusliguori33]

TY for this

[@brucefriedman1]

Beauty is only skin deep.

[@Spectre8282]

And ugly goes clean to the bone. Don't hear that much these days.

[@Dr.DorisTorres]

💯

[@hashsand]

I really wonder where these healthy individuals are. Being raised by two narcs, I married a narc, and have many narcy associates that I called friends and now as I work on healing from cPTSD from the narc abuse I look around and strain my eyes to find someone who is safe, decent as the Dr says.

[@Ashn3]

I feel the exact same way, and was also raised by 2 narcissists so I’m sending you so much love and support 🫂 my c-ptsd has developed into agoraphobia from the public panic attacks, so the isolation makes it impossible to find a healthy support system, always scared to even leave comments because of criticism when I need support I’ve become so sensitive, thank god for this channel and Dr. C and people like you who make me feel like I’m not alone. I also hate seeing how many people are dealing with this, so insidious I’m praying 🙏 for everyone

[@stephenpaul3289]

This is so true with my Narc Mum

[@benjaminbosley6169]

Their violating a boundary to tell you they "love you" is not love.

[@lorinotarius]

Snuffleupagus people are the most frustrating people in the world. I was told all the time, "He's so charming." I would reply, "Of course he's charming at parties, you don't get new narcissistic supply by not being charming!!" But, unless you have experienced this, you don't know and the person would not understand, so I stopped explaining. We all want only the charming one, but it is not possible. There is a Tai Chi move where you offer up one hand to the heavens, as if holding a tea cup balanced in your palm, I occasionally use an actual LED votive candle, and take your arm around your body, then the other hand, each time circling your arm around your body to keep full range of motion for your joints, leaning back and around, reminding you that you bend over backwards for these people and they don't appreciate it at all, not one bit. I always think when I do this move that one hand is the charming self of the narcissist and the other is the cruel one. You have to offer them both up because there is no way to separate them out and keep just the charming one you want, you can't lop off your arm. I find it to be a great way to release them for good and to ensure strong boundaries against any future hoover attempts.

[@fireupyourheartfortruth]

This was a great example with spiritual characters for visual learning:)❤😢😊❤🎉

[@fairliescott3073]

This video is valuable but depressing for me since my late husband and I were manipulated by a devil posing as an angel. He'd been in our lives for over 20 years 'posing' as a friend! This was done in many ways which led to his death two years ago. I cared for him for 2 1/2 years while he was dying - only realizing near the end of his life that his 'so-called' friend was determined to torture and destroy us both! He was proud of his actions and even revealed things he'd done' He's active in his church - sometimes preaching. Sadly, there's no way he can be brought to justice. It would be difficult and dangerous for me to try. Very sadly, there might well be more victims in the future!

[@user-op7st7wd4e]

My sister's husband is a covert narcissist who tries to pass himself off as a righteous Christian man. But he is a selfish, controlling, insecure man who has to control everyone and has infantile rage filled temper tantrums if someone "offends" him with their tone or their statements. A total A-hole. My sister has convinced herself that he is perfect. He requires her to think that, and promote his "perfect husband" image. He even controls what she eats. She is not allowed to drink soda so she has to sneak it. He requires her to exercise and not get overweight. He also tracks her cell phone and gets all her email. She has to obey. But he goes out and does whatever he wants. He has full autonomy, but she has no clue where he goes or what he does. She is 100% dependent on him and not allowed to make decisions without his input and approval.

[@leslietourish9183]

That’s happened in my family too. So sad to watch my brother become unhealthy living with his partner.

[@cacatr4495]

It sounds like an exact description of the N that has subjugated my sibling over the last 56 years; they married in 1968. SMH. C has L on a very short leash, L wasn't even allowed to retrieve the mail from the mailbox back in the 1980s. The N is also a P, and as such, wanted to squelch my voice of truth about what they had done when I was a child, not wanting L to hear the truth, so C closed their landline phone down in the early 1990s, and went under the radar with early cellphones, such that there was no way to reach my sibling. C has dragged L from state to state to stay hidden and out of reach as I grew into adulthood. C has devastated the family of origin, destroyed our sibling relationship, has done so much damage, and continues to keep L on a short leash. L was 12 when I was born, we were so close in our childhoods, but it has been a very long time since there has been any relationship; C disallowed it. The last conversation I had with my sibling was in 1989, L had said they were considering leaving C, but they didn't, I'm sure through manipulation, and even though their kids long ago went out on their own, L is still with C, probably like a robot by now. SMH.

[@Chris-o1q]

Hello Gus, you Look Especially Relaxed 😎 Today 😊🎉

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Woof!!

[@JihongLi-v4j]

Outside Angel, Inside Devil

[@mrscclay]

Most people will take personal accountability when they realize or are told that they may be in wrong about a thing. What I’ve learned from the narcs previously in my life is that they cannot or are unable to self reflect and take responsibility for their actions and every single one of them all came from abusive/neglectful homes. Here I go probably answering my own question 😂, but is it that taking accountability for themselves is just too shameful for them to face and triggers their abused/neglected inner child, so they lie dodge and deflect anything resembling truth for fear of punishment like they did as a little child? Is this the narcs version of survival mode for themselves?

[@sandrathomas2893]

They do it because IT WORKS!

[@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753]

The way you asked this seems to connect the dots.

[@miras.9514]

I thought I saw a puddy-cat...I did saw a puddy-cat!!!

[@paulinewroth5487]

My soon to be ex husband was charming to Joe public but vile towards me.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You deserve better. Best wishes as you make this major adjustment!

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@@paulinewroth5487 It's usually the way 🙄

[@Ratgirl2]

Yes Pauline it's disturbing. 😢😢

[@sandrathomas2893]

Jekyll and Hyde 💥 🐺 In 🐑 clothing! It's spiritual ⚔️ Even the devil transforms himself into an angel of light!

[@vajee5]

I agree completely

[@Ratgirl2]

It's deviant the way they have the ability to suck away the soul. I'm getting nowhere. I spoke to a counselor recently she listened and had nothing to say worth guiding me. Dr. Carter is the best. If only the partner would watch the videos I do and it's all so crystal clear. 😢😢

[@cacatr4495]

Many of them have nothing to say.

[@BaraSchmidt]

I never did see the "Outside Angel." They were "Pseudo-esque" in the way they lived with an alternate ego of the unpalatable traits we've all come to know and despise. You know those movie set facades where you walk through the front door and it's just a sound stage? Yeah, like that. Stay Healthy!!

[@cacatr4495]

The "light are on, but there's nobody home?"

[@butterflycomb]

Oh my gosh so true!

[@knotshardly1036]

Thank you for sharing

[@rwdchannel2901]

My narcissist father postures as the best father in the world for doing basic things such as having given me food and shelter. He worked 12 hours a day since he owned his own construction business. I probably could have been kidnapped and he wouldn't have called the police for 3 days. His idea of being a father was to let public school raise me. My narcissistic mother was an authoritarian who sent me to public school for 3 years to set me straight because she said I was a bad child who needed fixing. She figured the Christian private school I went to would do something miraculous to make me a obedient little angel that would never question any of her bad behavior. The reason I was only there for 3 years was because my parents got divorced then I went to public school again. During and after my parent's divorced, I'd say my mother's behavior was anything but Christian. After her divorce it was like she was let off the leash completely and decided to go date a dozen men; none of which seemed to be interested in marrying her. I was adopted and my parents adopted kids like people adopt stray pets no one wants. My mother even told me she would have given me back to the foster care system if she had the chance. Her 3 adopted children were the black sheep and her natural born child was the golden child.

[@townstunsltd6727]

The No.1 takeaway from today's lecture at 8:12 "Reaction Formation!" (Google Ref:) "Reaction formation is a defense mechanism that involves replacing an unwanted thought or feeling with its opposite. Here are some examples of Reaction Formation: * Teasing or insulting someone you like. * Being overly kind to someone you dislike. * Glorifying a parent you dislike. * Displaying a deep affinity for a child you don't want. * Appearing courteous and helpful to others you want to harm!" Yep.

[@lilithschwarzermond7342]

A Devil would not be a real devil, if he would show up in his devilish manner. He only can get closed to us as "a devil in disguise". And the best disguise is an ANGEL. There is a Song (Elvis Presley) "You're a devil in disguise" Thanks Dr. C.

[@helenwashington6212]

There's old phrase called the devil's in the dialogue .

[@danemartin5674]

Thank you Dr. Carter.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You are very welcome, Dane!

[@saidaelhaddioui]

Bedankt

[@saidaelhaddioui]

Thank you in Dutch

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Geen dank.

[@SlobArt]

I love Gus. ❤

[@laurelbarlow5733]

A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

[@Katie-v9q1t]

Thank you for your incredible work, God bless you Dr C!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thank you so much, Katie.

[@Greenwings701]

Describes the friend you thought you could trust with your house key. And being kind to them just made you a sucker.

[@nicholecornes1915]

These people is who JESUS CHRIST himself said to stay away from.. think about that

[@jasonfitzpatrick414]

I've seen the woman when under stress quickly change. I've seen her eyes turn black. I'm not afraid. Last night, she slipped and said I was next. Fun times.

[@SteeleAway]

Thanks Doc..your videos on this subject have given me much clarity and validation regarding my last relationship. Happy Halloween to you ;)

[@sarahwalters7701]

Hi Gus and Dr. C!!! Happy Halloween!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Happy Halloween to you too!

[@professorx4588]

We have an 8 month old son. I can’t leave

[@annettglass7290]

Happy Halloween 🎃😊♥️

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Happy Halloween!

[@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753]

​@@SurvivingNarcissisma good day to talk about the masks people wear to hide who they really are. The Bible actually talks about masks in the end times.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@@annettglass7290 Boo! 👻 It's my son's birthday today 👋

[@kawaiimagicalex5170]

my narcissist sister say i have bipolar when im diagnos with kronik depression. why they play doctors or dont belive in doctors.

[@elainesmith5313]

WOW! DR.C.! Eplaination. Par Excellance! , of my deceased X. Amazing! You are the Best! I Thank you for all the light bulb moments I have had, or oerhaps more so the validation you give us on Team Healthy! At leasy I can laugh again!❤

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased for you, Elaine!

[@KateLawler-ln5ks]

Thanks Doc. Your words have been so helpful in recovering from a bad relationship with a ; Narcissist, Sociopath & Psychopath, all in one person. He had 8 wives before me! I'm so glad I bailed & never married him. I left & moved back to my beloved Home state. I adopted a dog from the pound & later a kitten for company, for both of us. To my Horror my EX. moved here recently & I ran into him. No Worries, I'm totally done & over the bad relationship. Thank God & Thank God for your Videos. They are so helpful, God Bless You.

[@Circus1990]

Sounds like a DEI hire manager I am unfortunate to work with occasionally.

[@margiethessin8975]

Street angel house devil is the old expression.

[@caroleminke6116]

😇 the Angel is for mommy’s benefit initially & the Devil 👿 is what the other siblings or even neighborhood kids get to experience… this dichotomy can continue for a lifetime & some mothers never figure junior out! It’s simply manipulation learned in infancy then perfected over the course of a lifetime until the mask can be put on as soon as feet hit the pavement… I’ve seen this happen before my eyes & it fools the neighbors as well as everyone @ work, church or in the larger community

[@timpeterson3191]

Pay attention to the disconnects. Wen the narcissist lets the mask slip, ask him to explain himself.

[@fred.k9875]

Listen to: Devil in Disguise By: Elvis Presley Please!

[@gsnail8189]

😂😂 see below 😂😂 Hmm I am both Angel and Devil. Other way around. Inside Angel Outside Devil 😂😂 That is what you could say use of the ego. However i dont feel comfortable rn. I just realised how traumatised I STILL am!!!!

[@gsnail8189]

For it was JUST A MOMENT ago that i was looking up right left a bit, knowing im confused and dont know how to carry myself and knowing I am actually traumatised I mean I can see myself doing it…

[@gsnail8189]

I used to feel way more Emotion, love… I still feel but its different and I struggle expressing it I am fragmented

[@gsnail8189]

While experiencing that (c-ptsd?) I think of other people how they walk the street similar way, with all kind of psychic problems. It sucks…

[@puzzling7785]

WWGD? What Would Gus Do?

[@deanadutcher5877]

Smiling assassin is exactly what they are.

[@familychromebook1852]

I think the way we have used and interpreted religion is part of the problem. A lot of people view other people as either "good" or "bad" (angels or demons). There doesn't seem to be a lot of room in today's society for the reality of a mixed bag. I think that's why a lot of religious people pretend, they're scared of being looked at as bad. The culture has promoted narcissism. You see intolerance for the reality of a mixed bag in cancel culture and politics.

[@Joe-br4ww]

it doesn't work 🎯

[@VintageBaker]

Hello ❤😊

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Hi!

[@edilipelis6434]

Narcissist is awolf in sheep's clothing.

[@nicholecornes1915]

Gosh wasn't that the truth

[@marionalbers8496]

Is a Cult Leader always A Narcissist?? Who Knows

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Let's just say it is an extremely high probability.

[@marionalbers8496]

@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you so much!

[@stalphonsusliguori33]

@@SurvivingNarcissismi agree Mr C - i have personal experience that my mother-in-law and sister-in-law were the cult leaders and enablers. Haven’t spoken nor seen my son for 14 yrs (he is 17 today), he was kidnapped in court by my narcissistic husband. He professionally fooled them all, you believe that authority have somewhat certain skills to discover personality disorders but no, I was so dead wrong, he fooled them all. He will deal with this on the other sidle - my heart is still broken in million pieces that my son was used as a pawn because I left my husband due to domestic violence, controll , yes I was constantly abused physically, mentally and spiritually.

[@buildfireforchrist]

Christan coverts... fun times