How to spot ‘future faking’

[@TJ-kk5zf]

they won't commit now, won't later. just dumped a future faker and got in a new good relationship

[@vhayashi7369]

I just went through this the last 6 months! A guy I dated said he wasn't ready for a relationship but he kept promising places he wanted to go with me. Won't make time except when it's convenient for him. Once again I'm not a priority so I am letting him go!

[@phoenixrising8007]

Courage to bail 🙋‍♀️ Cut your losses Fresh start new beginnings

[@ele77zin44]

I had an on and off relationship with a narc without actually knowing it. I have learnt about narcissism when I found the courage inside myself to block him and break every bonds. He devasted me, my family, my finance and almost my job. It's unbelievable how far they are able to go just to win you back and how awful they can be. I am healing but I am aware the way is still longer after one year. They are so so good in manipulate the reality and exploit your feelings.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

They make Future plans... But strangely you have no plans for the weekend! 😏

[@Maggie1952]

Ha ha. So true.

[@littleredhen8205]

YES. Sometimes it comes across a lot like executive dysfunction, tbh.

[@boorat3573]

Perfect! Yes not all men who rush into getting to know you or narcissistic & shes not an expert!

[@cairojoel8943]

I know im asking the wrong place but does someone know a tool to log back into an Instagram account? I stupidly forgot the password. I appreciate any help you can give me

[@kylosimon373]

@Cairo Joel Instablaster :)

[@whatrtheodds]

Thanks Susan 😊🌈 I met a guy once that really loved future faking. Talked about kids, his interest in weddings, me helping decorate his house, what it would be like if we were together. I can see how he could have hurt someone if they actually believed what he was saying. I figured it was all fake when he couldn't make it to my birthday, He freaked out! Plus deep conversations were always diverted. At that point I took it for what it was- friends with benefits. We saw each for maybe 6months after that and he would still future fake alot, asking me how I would be as a mother, or point out a bride and talk about weddings for a while..... except I didn't take anything he said seriously. Luckily I didn't develop feelings and knew exactly what it was. It was quite an interesting experience.

[@littleredhen8205]

That's an interesting point about eschewing meaningful dialogue. I wonder, did they prefer the structure and formality of surface/small talk? Harder to protect the lie when you don't have control of where the conversation goes..

[@risingempressproductions]

I just got out of this and it was a “she.” And when I did things like take marriage off the table, she got upset. All the while she was texting and messaging other women to see who was better for her (she swore up and down it was just for friendship- but who hides messages or only messages while at work)... It was all BS. When I arranged for a romantic dinner, she threw me for a loop and told me she’d pay for her meal, but then when I didn’t respond to being called her “future wife” (after being talked down to for a bit), she became upset. She even wanted to meet my dad, which was a huge deal- all the while knowing she wasn’t gonna make it anything serious with me.

[@isykitty]

Wow. This is who I’ve been with for three years. Ugh what a waste

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

Friends with Benefits for who?? Did you really "benefit"?? I know he did.

[@carolynballerina5342]

After our 2 kids came along hubby used to "take us out house-hunting" every weekend looking for a larger house - after 7yrs finally dawned on me, he had no intention of buying us a new place !

[@JMurdochful]

Well it’s really amazing to hear this. I recently left a relationship with who I thought was the most perfect guy. He made many offers which most never materialized and those that did, did because I called him to task and pressured him to follow through on his end. He ended up resenting me for doing what he said he’d do. I was so disappointed and hurt. I’m still reeling. It took a chunk out of me. I feel like I was helpless.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

Actions speak LOUDER than words.

[@Vmj14]

Hi Susan! ♥️ I owe you a big thank you! This past December I came across one of your videos and it inspired me to tell my crush that I liked her. Fast forward 6 months later and she is now my girlfriend! I asked her last week and she said yes. Thank you so much for your help.

[@SusanWinter]

Congratulations!!! THIS IS Wonderful! I really appreciate your kind note.

[@dialmstyle]

I just fell for a future faker. Thank you for your videos, you’ve helped me fall out of love with him and back in love with Mr. Consistency. 💕

[@abcdabcd5108]

"Gas Lighting" name comes from the movie “Gaslight,” in which a diabolical husband plans to drive his wife mad through a campaign of false accusations, fabricated memories and bland denials of his previous statements.

[@SusanWinter]

Yes, thank you! It seemed too easy an answer but I'm glad you told me.

[@abcdabcd5108]

@@SusanWinter My pleasure, thank you for your wonderful videos! You help so many people!

[@shelleysanders9666]

Yes: superb film with excellent Director (Cukor) & cast, inc. Ingrid Bergman

[@SusanWinter]

BIG THANKS GOES TO LHARA BARNIG! I JUST SAW YOUR KIND SUPER CHAT MESSAGE AND DONATION. Thank you, Lhara. It's a joy to see you on my channel.

[@alyssakeezer4672]

Talking about exactly what I’m going through. Future faking, love bombing, ghosting, all your topics relate to what I’ve been going through. This person has done it all and I still ask myself why I still can’t bare to lose him.

[@igatti9923]

If someone is future faking as a habit and I realize it in time, I just block this person.

[@gglin5595]

awesomely done. got a lot of great advices from the way you answer to the readers ! I truly want to let you know that you are a very beautiful and wise coach ! you are an inspiration to my misery heartache from my Narc who plays hot and cold, blaming me always, and can't commit either .. I often think that life should not be so much suffering that I am going through now but walking away from my own attachment with him is also a very heart breaking and suffering at night ...

[@Larissa-of3qt]

It's so typical men use the easy excuse for easy way out. ''I am not ready for a relationship. i am scared, not ready for something serious at this point in my life, i just came out of a relationship'divorce etc.. so i need to heal first etc.. Sooo typical and none of them are true. They are not that much attracted to you. Thats all and simple as that. Don't read too much into it! Men who really is attarcted to you, like you very much or love you, they will move mountains, NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE GOING THROUGH in their lives. Period.

[@chilloften]

Just keep legs closed ladies. 🌹🔥

[@bertagco9154]

Why don't narcistic date each other only ..

[@weirdone8784]

I think that's its because they'd both be parasitic, and aren't able to take extract anything from one another. Narcissists need fuel, because they can't generate it themselves, therefore wouldn't be able to bleed each other for anything.

[@shelleysanders9666]

Very difficult to know in the early months of a relationship if someone is lying or genuine: time reveals if these are empty promises.. (And I did experience this with a Narcissist)

[@lucyloo7457]

Thanks Susan. Love this. Dealing with lots of future faking. It’s crazy that these older men are doing this. ❤

[@alexandramaria7754]

All of us need to understand that Susan is talking about the subclinical type of narcissism or narcissists, which we can find them on social media, and dating apps. Because the truth is, Narcissist Personality disorder is very rare among the population. But why subclinical narcissism is also very dangerous as the clinical disorder, because these individuals don't have empathy, and relationships for them are transactional. Now here are some tips for you to avoid and identify this individuals: 1.They post selfies regularly with heavy edition 2. Photos in a bikini or in trips looking like they have the perfect life 3. A huge number of friends or followers, and if you look with attention, just a few they know in real life. 4. They spend too much time on social media. Unless they are influencers or artists, and social media work gives them bread to eat and survive. Well, you have your answer. Unfortunately, subclinical narcissism is more usual than it should be. Also, be aware that narcissism can have a vulnerable form, not only the grandiosity. Vulnerable narcissists are introverts. They have a sense of entitlement but don't show that to the world out loud. You will see and feel their rage when things don't go their way, or when you are no longer giving them what they want. Take care of yourself! Thank you Susan, for this Live :)

[@SusanWinter]

Hi alexandra. Love your detailed explanation. Thanks for this.

[@alexandramaria7754]

@@SusanWinter You are more than welcome! I am glad I can share with your audience some more information. Because unfortunately, narcissism is a reality but not exactly what we think. At the end of the day, they are individuals with low self-esteem, which can damage yours mostly because we do love them for real. Take care of yourself, because you are a real pearl :)

[@MrSamadolfo]

🙂 what does it mean 'Heavy Edition' ? thx

[@atomicplaygirl66]

@@MrSamadolfo I think she meant that these narcs heavily photo shop their selfies.

[@vhayashi7369]

Actually there are plenty of Narcissists and it's more common than rare. Most of my relationships have been with Narcissists including some in my family. That's why there are so many coaches online helping people.

[@StaceyBing]

OMG! My narcissistic ex split up with his new girlfriend, who was a stranger to me, and she contacted me out of the blue, to check her own mind. She believed he was a narcissist, and she needed confirmation from me that this was true, so she could move on. And, I can't believe this, but he had promised her that if she moved in with him, they could start a family together, which was her dream. BUT, when he was with me, I made him take a fertility test, to ensure I didn't get pregnant before I had chance to leave him, and the test came back stating he was infertile! Clearly I told her he was infertile, because he was using her desire to have a family, as a way to manipulate her. Absolutely horrendous behaviour!

[@kimberlyjones8152]

Future faking= my ex in a nutshell. I didnt know there was an actual phrase for this behavior at the time. I just thought all his empty promises were cause he was "busy" (as he always claimed to be "supposedly" but honestly how busy can u truly be before it starts sounding like a lazy excuse) i didn't realize this was a form of manipulation

[@anastasiabeaverhousin7962]

I knew if I dug enough I would find a term for this. My relationship is almost unbelievable. I’m doing everything I can to say Stop every time I think about that pos.

[@pam164]

Normal men future fake ( fast forward) not just narcs.

[@user-msjazzy]

Facts 😂

[@LouisaWatt]

My ex-husband was such a chronic people-pleaser that he habitually future-faked with everyone in his life: me, his family, his boss, his friends, the neighbours... it was literally impossible for him to deliver on all the things he promised to do for people and I had to constantly reign him in and make him pause to think through the step-by-step process of how something could be achieved and whether it was feasible or not. He's recently remarried in less than a year of dating and they have also bought a business together in the first six months of marriage. I don't think he's learned from the past at all.

[@elfovegano5997]

Hi Susan! I'm a male 29 years old from italy. I had your same type of situation, i had a girlfriend that was developing the same mental issues after almost a year in the relationship. i know what you've been through... Sending you much love! keep the awesome work! thank you!

[@ab.-]

True and unique advice, esp. When you feel like drowning

[@korviscapetrova5269]

Your channel has grown so so much I only hope it gets bigger and bigger.

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks for the positive vibes!!

[@lauramonteiro702]

Yes yes yes!! I just walked away after 5.5 yrs of my partner future faking, bread crumbing and love bombing. I realized this was happening the healthier I became and I was under the influence of building a future with the man. Very much stayed because I thought it was going somewhere and we were going to blend families and get married. I thought I was crazy when he would say “oh but I thought we were doing this in 5 yrs”...and I was in therapy processing and we were in couples therapy as he agreed after I put my foot down that therapy was one of my non-negotiables. Even though I am the one that broke it off (again for the 3rd time) I’m struggling and I knew I would find wisdom from you and your community. Everything you’ve said resonates with my situation. Great timing! I am going to be listening to your Breakup Triage because I do want a true partnership with someone who is healthy and wants the same as I do. I want to move forward with healing and learn from this. I thank you beyond words of appreciation for helping me along the way and providing a source of practical advice for “everything” relationship...AND for honoring those of us who want to truly be in a committed relationship and HOW to do this! ✨🙏🏻💜

[@SusanWinter]

Laura, thank you for opening up and sharing this with us.

[@CorporateQueen]

Not just verbal abuse...but also angry raging emails... Abuse can be written too.

[@lynnmarieanderson1744]

I hear you!!!! Beware getting into email wars with anyone. I've been there. Just let someone have their crazy last words and walk away.

[@CorporateQueen]

@@lynnmarieanderson1744 That's exactly what I did.

[@timothygenaw2199]

When someone you love dies, you get to keep the memories. When a long relationship ends in bitterness, how do not feel like years of your life were meaningless? How do you keep the memories? How do you see the lesson? How do you see the value in all those years? Thanks

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

Live and learn. Know experience was a waste of time. You now know what you need to be happy. You will not begin a relationship with someone who is not on your same page.

[@evka24]

nothing is waste of time.....seek the lesson....get paper and pen and write what u leart from it what u enjoyed, what u want find in another again, and what to avoid in future...ultimatelly we all go through things in life to get us the the best we can be....

[@daphneskipper8627]

Shout outs are pure love!!! Keep up the good work. I truly appreciate you💗

[@catharineatkinson4209]

The best live video you’ve made to date! So relatable because this is a very common situation these days... 🤔😅

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you Catharine

[@parlbesatt]

Gaslighting comes from the movie featuring Ingrid Bergman, in which the husband drives the wife insane by playing with the (gas)lights and pretending she's making things up.

[@dd-pw8tw]

Taking away my incentive to want to further explore this relationship~brilliant Susan!!!👍😃 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[@Cat-el4td]

Wow wow wow you are so spot on with what I’ve gone through with my narc ex, Thankyou so much for your support I’m totally fed up with his behaviour it’s affected me terrible. Always waiting to be taken out for a meal or going on holiday together and planning, even meeting friends he always refused to talk about it but kept me waiting by saying it will happen. It’s been a year and still no improvement. I just can’t understand why he won’t do any of these things with me.

[@ciggytwiggy]

Cos of all your videos, i tell everyone i meet exactly what i want - a committed monogamous relationship and eventually a family of my own. Some of them said it's quite refreshing to hear

[@pb11118]

It is your show ! Love your work Susan - shoutout to you 🖤

[@lynnmarieanderson1744]

Great advice!!!! I couldn't be present for this live chat but it was illuminating watching how you responded to all these questions and situations. Thank you!!!!☺

[@SusanWinter]

You are welcome, Lynn

[@karenkellock]

You are so intuitive. Yesterday he DROPPED A BOMB---OUT OF NOWHERE, about another woman. I realized he was JEALOUS and THREATENED because of my recent successes. Could it be he did that?

[@lindawallace7092]

Hi there gorgeous lady. You are such an inspiration. I've asked this question a few times, but somehow it seems to slip under the radar and not get answered. I know you have many followers, so I understand. Here it is again: your take on dating a younger man who is an addict, trying his best to manage his addictions. Thank you ❤💞

[@ivy3839]

Addicts are selfish and you should date him when he has dealt with his demons . Otherwise you will be his mother figure trying to wipe his ass every time he will have excuse to do drugs . If he really lives you he will get himself clean to start life with you . If not , you are not his first love , but second after his habit .

[@lindawallace7092]

@@ivy3839 thank you for your view. He is clean, but I do think it's a lifelong struggle and not a 1 off thing. Not once clean, always clean, but a daily commitment to staying clean.

[@pumpkinspicegirrrl4014]

This was the problem with eeeevery man I've ever met!!!🙄

[@anastasiabeaverhousin7962]

If it’s not this problem it’s cheating liars. I wonder if I have something that says Victim that only predators can read.

[@sugarsnap1000]

First time I’ve tuned in, throughly enjoyed it, you’re very insightful, 😊

[@SusanWinter]

thanks!

[@thesoothingbreeze3165]

you are such a delightful person, just lifts me up listing to you! cheers!!

[@tuff47]

Hi Susan. You are so pretty. Thank you for your advice!

[@SusanWinter]

Oh thank you!

[@SimplyMillie24]

Love this one. Just had a guy future fake all the time. Need this in my tool box!

[@phoenixrising8007]

I think they know what authenticity is but are incapable of sustaining it

[@abhilashajha5360]

Ma'am I had a beautiful relationship with this guys for two years! We were very serious and our families knew about us. But because of my depression and anxiety because of a alot of problems in my life, I took him for granted and abused him once and also raised hands on him twice because I got scared he will will leave me! I was hurt and my childhood trauma got back! He soon left me... which i understand i deserved! But i really want to change and be better. I want to be independent. I really want him back someday! Can you guide me on this please?

[@warmbloodydew]

lol so true. I love backpacking, he said he love backpacking. I started my Airbnb, he said oh, yeah he was going to do that too. The thing is he is a cave man who cannot comfortable go out anywhere even to a coffee shopby his own

[@megb7675]

I didn’t even realise this was a thing until last month where I fell for a guy online, he pretty much talked to me as if we were a couple and would talk about all the holidays and dates we’d go on and then after weeks of talking just ghosted and I was left devastated

[@Sarahdrybones]

That's why you should have written agreements. Signed

[@Babesinthewood97]

However I think that it also depends on how the other part interacts with you. One can imagine a future together genuinely, but if you get nothing in return...then you'd have to cancel your plans with them ...and it may make you look like a person who always under delivers..but it could sometimes be that the other person just isn't treating you very well, either

[@sweetspice9120]

Men can b confused but when he is ready to commit to you - he is very clear. My friend’s man waited for her for 3 yrs. he was introduced to so many girls but he kept trying to convince my friend. When she said yes - he moved from TX to the Northeast to be with her. They hv now been married for 2 yrs. a wishy washy man is either not emotionally/financially settled or is just not interested

[@empressqi1722]

I needed to hear this. Painful truth.

[@jimhagan697]

Always great advice. Jim .

[@embracedchimera5886]

thats it! so sad : ( promises to over deliver and then under delivers. sad because ,like many of us women I truly loved him so I didnt CARE if he "delivered" or not.. i was patient and supportive. things take years not months. he crashed and burned with the high expectations he put on himself! I was ok with everything as it was.

[@santoparfano1910]

Yup...took me 26 years to fully realize that my wife is a full -on covert narc. This is something shes been doing all along. We do no have a meaningful relationship despite my many attempts, rather she deflects any and all attempts for emotional deep diving. The future faking is something I never put together as a narc thing till now along with the absence of respect, compassion and reciprocity.

[@parlbesatt]

I would love to hear more about the inadequacy theme!

[@pianolearner7]

Not sure if this is similar to future faking ...after we fell out and made up (which often happened) he would tell me about the things he was going to buy/do but didn't as we weren't speaking at the time. Some examples are...he was going to give me some money for Christmas, he was going to put my name on his car insurance, he was going to take me on holiday. None of these things actually happened even after we made up. It's a bit like 'past' faking?

[@ThatzMzMJ]

Hi Susan. I'm a fan of yours and have listened to all your videos, and continue to do so. Can you please do a video on something similar to this, in regards to a relationship that has fallen apart after the two year mark?

[@CorporateQueen]

'Don't change..not even when we're old and grey... ' 'Wow, great ring...how do I compete with that?!' 'We need to visit Japan...let's go together...' ( even said a month before we split)

[@lisaperkins9787]

My boyfriend of almost 12 when we got together I set boundaries and my moral's when of them. Was if he didn't he didn't what to get married by 2 to 3 years that I would not just play house with him .. now I'm stuck being with him due to financial reasons but working on getting out I found out he was talking to another woman on Facebook when she declined him is the only reason why he has stayed and what's to work it out if she would have said yes he would have left like I never existed this has been so damaging

[@apexpcgaming269]

they pretend marry love and then they find fault and you catch them cheating on internt constantly futurefaking with another woman,calling her wife ,say im crazy for catching him

[@anastasiabeaverhousin7962]

Or she’s crazy and therefore you’re crazy

[@samj0nes124]

I agree with what you said about verbal abuse.. I hope I could join your live chats in the future .. I’m here in Japan and want to know your future live schedule xx

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Sam! Thank you for tuning in all the way from Japan. My weekly Lives are on Thursdays at 11am PDT

[@lisac.2438]

Wow, I didn't know there was a term for this. Thanks.

[@isykitty]

Been future fakes for 3 years. All kinds of excuses. When timelines happen something always came up for him not to uphold their promises some excuse always happened and it was always my fault.

[@margaretchristian7215]

What about a guy who thinks you should jump right in and trust him? This is somebody you met on line who lives in a far away country.

[@evka24]

r u kidding...would u tell ur child to trust sranger like that????? this sounds like a scam already...run!!!

[@toniharris6617]

Susan you are soooo....kind thx my guy we will talk soon I love him

[@bertagco9154]

Thanks for your videos . Luv your work

[@morganhill5798]

There’s always a lot of options, just pick one. That also might be an illusion.

[@David-ln5zu]

I think I’ve been guilty of trying to over deliver, but not in a narcissist way, just trying to arrange a European city break now that lockdown has eased. I think we are both fearful of making plans too soon, after 4 months of texting and just 4 face t face (social distance) meetings. Maybe try not to rush things and take it slower, but I am confused. Thank you, David.

[@evka24]

if u feel fearful ...wait:) take ur time.....get to know the person.....she may not be worthy of that trip///she may

[@jenniferheath816]

Good stuff Susan!

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks for listening!

[@supernova2897]

When u went..."Giiiiiiirl"..to Vanessa I literally laughed out loud.. Like...he is abusive and we still talking about holding on to him.

[@Platinum907]

You are the most.

[@micheledoddkelton6598]

Then how do you tell the difference of a man getting scared because it is getting to the next level we are selling the house to build ours he mentioned my conversation in which I told him how my ex husband was never home he is working two jobs to build our home which this one is working for our goals the other wasn’t his ex wife left him so he is fearful how to tell the difference in cold feet scared and making excuses to get out of the relationship

[@risingempressproductions]

We didn’t start off this way. Not sure what happened. It was my first lesbian relationship and she’s much more experienced. I started to feel her distance herself, but she kept making comments about me being her “future wife.” She’d send me texts about, “Can’t wait to see my future wife.” Would send me love songs, but there was something about her that told me she didn’t want to be there. I spent every evening at her home and would spend the night- but she’d make comments about what she found attractive in women. She’d tell me about who she had girl crushes on, but if I did that, she’d just say “that’s cute” in a tone where I felt mocked. When I took marriage off the table, because we were having issues AND she was distancing herself, she became upset and said she wanted to keep it on the table. When I didn’t respond to her calling me her “future wife” at dinner, she got upset and rolled her eyes... but she was already distancing herself from me!!! We weren’t happy, but then she’d throw out “so is this a dealbreaker for marriage?” Huh?!?! Talk about moving in together, but something FELT off about it. I mean, we were struggling and she was more and more frequently irritated to be around me. It was different in that she responded to texts and we saw each other every single day, but like I said, my intuition was telling me something was off. We broke up after she relapsed (alcoholism), and I found out she was messaging other women while we were together under the guise of friendship, BUT who hides the messages and only messages while at work. First, she said she only messaged one woman (that I already knew about, but wasn’t even the entire story), but when I told her I knew she had, her story changed to “Well, you knew I was looking for friends.” And then she demanded to see screenshots to verify she cheated so she could see if they had merit. I feel like she was “future faking” to keep me hooked as the back-up plan WHILE keeping her options open. She’s 48 years old!!! Ugh. I’m struggling with walking away, but I’m doing it. I’m also feeling sexual desire for her because I am subconsciously attracted to women who are type-A and are mean to me (just like my mom). Af least I’m aware of it.

[@bridgetlowery2989]

Been seeing a guy for 3 years only once he told me he loves me that was almost a year ago he says he just feels uncomfortable saying it because he been hurt by his ex’s that hurt him so he doesn’t tell me that but claims he loves me that he shows me every day but we only see each other on Weekends

[@marinz4life]

Bridget Lowery I sympathize with your pain Bridget but the good news is the behavior you’ve described illustrates a level of inherent honesty in your partner. Give it time, stay observant, and continue to listen to Susan (can’t go wrong listening to Susan)!

[@bridgetlowery2989]

Brian Keith Mason thank you much but sometimes I feel by now he should know I am not like his ex’s and I feel they have caused a road block are either he just uses that as excuse not wanting to tie his self down completely yet this man 64 I am 52

[@evka24]

@@bridgetlowery2989 ask for what u need...if he cant give u what u need maybe u need to look elsewhere....if he is not over his ex issues he needs to solve it before he gets in relationship with antoher person...however if he is very nice to u and u r happy...saying i love u is not the most important...actions r

[@embracedchimera5886]

I need an exact opposite to the man I thought id marry. I guess he "used" my energy to project a big yes to me.. "yes I love you I am what you want" and used all words and actions to be completely otherwise and what I cant stand instead. a man who appreciates that I wont judge him or leave him and he can take as long as he needs for his goals. this one wanted ME to complete his goals lol. (financially and otherwise!)

[@troycarpenter3675]

What about future faking from a person with an avoidant attachment style? She doesn't seem to be narcissistic, but more AAS. ???

[@evka24]

thats what they do.....fake it...they dont like to be still to see into their heart, eyes or mind....future faking is in a fact lies......

[@marlenebtagelman2451]

This is a very good video.

[@clarerobinson6331]

Looking beautiful Susan 😍

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you so much 😀

[@Reilly5]

Unless Susan's living room is a stadium, it would be a bit hard to have so many people in it! LOL

[@m.s.8729]

So beautiful!

[@erikacastillo6394]

What about when you meet someone and everything go well but suddenly for no reason disappeared

[@mikeblust855]

12:48 in-2 fast 2 soon to furious

[@kamran.i]

I was with someone that pretty much agreed with the idea of relationship and commitment and wanted a future together ,for me it was the only thing I so wanted but his life was very messed up he had a 9-5 job then he would do tutions and then there was family time and there was nothing much quality time for me but I found it to be rude and selfish of me to just walk away and I decided to work along as a good partner . My emotional needs were not met because I wanted basic things in a relationship i.e quality time , Romanticised , sentimental reciprocation but he seemd to lack these traits he always said you try to change me while I made sure what I wanted from the relationship he would sometimes blame it on his busy routine & that I needed to understand but I knew for a fact that he was not warm and expressive with emotions and I sufferd a great deal for two years. The future faking part set in after 2 years when I was drained and I decided to talk about it and he said that at the moment his career and education are his priority and nothing about he sees our future together and I knew it was a red flag I should have moved on but i decided to stay that maybe after he is done with his studies and gets a better job maybe he will invest in this relationship but the after math was that after 4 years of being with him he just ditched me and told me he was not consistent and that I never wanted a laid back partner and he didn't want the relationship anymore also he would bring up random things from the past which were once forgiven and forgotten to validate his argument to leave me so we both equally share the responsibility to his actions while he projected his guilt onto me but I actually found out he wasn't even loyal and was cheating as well and that kind of broke my heart cz I believed that even if he couldn't give me a future he promised once atleast I was with an honest person that love me but he was just exasperated and got tired of me..told me that I wasn't sensible enough to understand that there is a time for everything . his idea of love had a duration but I believe love never fades away it was more of infatuation and convinience on his end that he called as love

[@markcoopersmith2280]

Ironic that you mention women remembering every word. I'm like that and I called out my ex a number of times. And I backed it up with Whats App chats. Instead of admitting she was wrong, she'd say I apparently have too much time on my hands that I check our old chats.

[@kimberlykimmons]

Gaslighting came from an old movie “Gaslight” where a man tries to question a woman’s sanity after observing his sketchy behavior.

[@ThatzMzMJ]

This is a great video btw.

[@SusanWinter]

Glad you think so!

[@Jo-bo1mp]

Love your shout outs Susan you are cute!

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks so much, Jo!

[@boorat3573]

Not all men are bad!

[@ashs1491]

I really just blocked a guy I met on tinder for this last week

[@elenabelacastre7789]

🌈🦉 IS IT POSSIBLE. THAT SOMEONE IS TRYING TO POINT THE FINGERS AT THE WRONG PERSON. CUZ. THE PERSON I SAW ( here & there) DID NOT START OFF THAT WAY. NOR DID THEY MAKE PROMISES OF ANY KIND. WHATSOEVER???? COULD IT POSSIBLY BE JEALOUSY. OF HIM/HER. PERHAPS??? Only certain people would. know him well enough to know that for CERTAIN) 🦋🦉💃 xo This has nothing to do with what diid or did not happen between that connection, but the influence around it, which made it appear that way. IT'S the PRINCIPAL BEHIND it, that possibly someone is being smeared when they shouldn't have been in the first place & the other was reacting in accordance to this ** false narrative** ????

[@elenabelacastre7789]

Whoever it is. Is highly sophisticated & advanced in technology!! 🙄🤔🙃??????

[@elenabelacastre7789]

I trust myself. I know when I'm ready & often in most cases it happens when u least expect it! IT HAPPENS TO MOST PEOPLE. & IT'S USUALLY THE WAY IT GOES. IN MOST CASES!!! Thanks. 🦉🦋💃 I'm not on here to connect with a man. But to take courses & to better myself & if that means. Explaining a few things. So that this person is in a more positive position. Then Ive served my PURPOSE! But it doesn't mean I don't care. It means I see it for what it is & see now why & how things went down!! at the time!!

[@Carriedawayncaffinated]

Thank you Susan❤️❤️❤️

[@stavroulagrivas946]

What is a NARC?

[@alemanaleman1363]

Dear Susan, I realized a few weeks ago that I was dating a narcissistic. We’ve been dating for two years and he has ghosted me a few times but I never stopped texting him even though he didn’t answer. Every time he’d vanished he never check on me and when he finally wants to answer and come back he act like nothing happened. He makes no effort, won’t even spend time on me, he makes it really hard. I know I did some things wrong at the beginning of the relationship, I believe at the beginning he really wanted everything with me but I was scared it was too perfect. Then the last time we were back together I did all things right, I even confronted him why he doesn’t want to commit to me if that’s what he says he wants all the time, but he said he’s scared. I am always the one who reached out to him but now I have stopped. He said we can try later. I see all ppl and videos saying narcissistic or any man always come back, but in my case he has never come back, he even ghosted me for 6 moths and I didn’t have a single call or text form him during that time. I feel terrible I would like to understand why this is happening, why he never come back or reach out to me? Susan, I love your videos and hope you could talk about this on one of them💜

[@WW-hp7cs]

If he is the right man for you, none of this bs would have happened.

[@evka24]

he moved on...stop waiting and being desperate...become woman of high value!!! queens dont chase

[@wulfclaw4921]

I totally disagree, abusers don't need you more. They will find another to feed on if they haven't already

[@anastasiabeaverhousin7962]

I think they usually have a back up.

[@oliviaaguirre6857]

Vanessa listen to Susan get some therapy.

[@folledudesert1146]

❤️❤️🌹🌹🌹🇫🇷🇫🇷🇫🇷

[@martincamden9949]

Why shouldn't men protect themselves against out-of-anyone's-contriol mavericks?

[@martincamden9949]

Real diplomacy !?!?!?