Genetic grief

[@TAEETIMEE]

just a friendly reminder that even though a lot of my art and film is based loosley around my personal experiences, my works and characters are all still fictional! 👽👍 my dad is very much alive, ty for checking in anyways guys.

[@KaixKenshin.]

That’s great! And hope you do great.

[@CapsVODS]

@@TAEETIMEE oh u shoulda said something in the bio, i was worried.

[@Starline__studio]

Same. You are very talented!

[@selectionn]

you better enjoy that while you still can, you never know when the time you have with him comes to an end

[@Dreedo.]

yippieee

[@App.ollo_]

"I cost you money again" made my blood freeze

[@zacharynguyen7286]

Hope you are doing good and staying safe. If you need to talk to someone or need help, there are people who care. Sending support and hearts. ❤️❤️❤️

[@Beltoon.145]

❤❤❤❤ Here for you bro

[@snookscrewsaround]

Same

[@ayasha89games66]

God damn, what a line. Me too.......

[@PopfulFrost]

I've been there.

[@jon856]

Drowning. That's the most resonating feeling. Drowning from everything that's weighing you down.

[@CLOYO]

Try to find out what thought is weighing you down. Be selfish enough to change it to a thought that makes you feel lightweight, something that relaxes your muscles and your brain. You have the power to do this, and your body will thank you.

[@armaansingh6047]

Be selfish for what you want is what my sister always says :)​@@CLOYO

[@ChronicalV]

This makes no sense to me ​@@CLOYO

[@RatfinksMethinks]

I was 14 for my serious attempt. The line “I cost you money again”- one year I had one ambulance visit a month. In the states that adds up. My mother had to file bankruptcy. My father took his life the same way I tried to; that serious time. He did it on my birthday five years ago. It’ll be my birthday soon. Thank you for this

[@marbledway]

I hope you’re feeling better now:( take care

[@Mortal_Remi]

Happy early birthday! Take care.

[@iceblock4426]

I really hope you're ok now, Happy Birthday!

[@kaiosousafreitastorres870]

🫂 My birthday will be on September 24th. Hope to be alive to this date

[@NicolasPL_]

Happy birthday! Stay safe:)

[@monothephantom]

The scene with the woman at the side of the bed resonates with me. The stern and disappointed look from someone who's supposed to be close to you, to care about you. It hurts, seeing someone important so dissapointed. Dissapointed that you lived or dissapointed that you tried or even dissapointed that you arent well. I've been met with anger when I sought help when I wasn't well. I've been the disappointment when I took things out on myself. It hurts.

[@grenindraw6947]

They tell you you can tell them anything, and when you finally do everything crashes and fails

[@annara686]

Because you are truly alone. All love is conditional

[@BeanieDoesAJ]

I understand completely. It really sucks when you decide to rely on someone and they make it seem like your fault that you’re unwell. You’re not alone ❤

[@shroudofclouds]

❤️‍🩹

[@waynefromhylics]

If someone stops loving you after you inconvenience them is that really love in the first place?

[@3sides1eye28]

I don't know if it's intentional but I like the ambiguity of where the "I don't deserve this " is placed- between scenes . is the narrator saying they don't deserve the kindness or love given to them? or are they refuting the burdens of suffering placed upon them? or is it the sunrise of a bright future that they don't deserve?

[@pimink]

I think its a great line because the viewer adds their own meaning to it in their head

[@GreySeashell-j3m]

I said that too! The gift? The life he's been given with? The way he's treated? The way he treats himself?.. I've said the same thing to a lot of things.

[@officechair2949]

I wanna be hopeful and think that he dont deserve to be subject himself to constant anguish. Its drowning and maddening. I dont want to feel it again but its there so i hope at some point in life, i'll feel what feelings used to feel and maybe more again

[@GordonFreekman]

God, what a cold open.

[@StoneBox_761a]

i would argue that open is sub zero yo

[@cuentasecundaria2321]

gordon freakman! its that you! i have play your two videogames!!

[@krux9149]

Gordon feetman

[@CapsVODS]

If my own genetica would want to kill me, i would go to non-addictive medical prescribed by a doctor drugs if it is like a psychological thought pattern that originated from genetics. I cant believe uch a thing would exiat, but part of me does.

[@RandomCriticalRocket]

Gore dan feat man

[@vissadev]

the hit directed at self at 2:51 was too real for me i had to take a breath. it was really good at bringing me back to those moments when you are at your lowest.

[@jaygooese4242]

This is pretty screwed up

[@zacharynguyen7286]

Hope everyone doing good and staying safe. If you need to talk to someone or need help, there are people who care. Sending support and hearts. ❤️❤️❤️

[@SquamataReptile]

Glad to know this was familiar to someone else. Something about hitting the side of your head when you’re breaking down just feels intuitive.

[@CLOYO]

@@jaygooese4242 You haven't been there, that's okay.

[@no1weezerfan]

@@SquamataReptileused to tear out my hair too, it left bald patches. I'm doing better now though, I hope you are too.

[@puzzleplank4333]

this video really touched me, the disappointment in the woman’s eye on the side of the bed really hits home

[@zacharynguyen7286]

Hope you’re doing good and staying safe. If you need to talk to someone or need help, there are people who care. Sending support and hearts. ❤️❤️❤️

[@MarMar-ut6vn]

@@zacharynguyen7286Zach you’re a kind soul :)

[@apenguin4368]

the line "i cost you money again" hits way to hard for me, but in a slightly different way. my parents are very supportive, loving, and caring, and I'm very thankful for them. i never wanted to seriously attempt, sure I had my lows but it never got that far. but god do I feel guilty I feel guilty because they have to provide for me, buy me food, I have a room in my house with everything I need and want, I feel guilty because they love me and I shouldn't but I do whenever I eat I think, they wouldn't have to spend this if i weren't here whenever I ask for them to indulge me something like a movie, i think that they wouldn't be burdened if i weren't here whenever they pay for my school fees, i think: why am i such a burden to them when they never said a thing about being a burden. i put this all on myself yet I'm still sulking about it and i cant do anything to help my parents and we're in a good financial state too. i don't know why my brain does this

[@ANAnymousOfficial]

Hey, I get the feeling Though we may be in different situations, have you considered telling your parents you feel this way? You don't have to if you don't want to, obviously, but it might help you feel less alone in your head. You might even be able to talk to them about how to possibly help them out, or show your appreciation for the hard work they do! If your parents are as loving as you say they are, I'm sure they'd understand the sentiment (at least somewhat) and be very touched ^^ Regardless, I hope this at least gives you some piece of mind that you're not alone in this world. I hope I can brighten your day even a little, if you ever see this comment. You are enough as you are

[@Hero_My_Beloved]

I feel the exact same way. Even though my parents have never been abusive, I feel guilty as fuck. They provide me with what I need, and yet I still feel guilty. I feel selfish, and when I try to tell them, they just say that I'm saying "nonsense" and that they are doing what every parent should. And, I KNOW that, but I haven't DONE anything to deserve this. And that's why I feel shit.

[@The_Jazziest_Coffee]

@@Hero_My_Beloved i think it comes down to a feeling of self-efficacy and an inability to perceive one's self in their situation, and their role in it like, it's hard for you to perceive yourself as being of worth, because you can only see what you *take* from them, and never what you actually *provide* or what you *are* to them it's okay, i'm in the same boat too. often i break down mentally because i spend so much time procrastinating on things, that it makes me feel like crap, and i feel disgusted because my parents place so much trust in me, and i feel like i'm a massive burden to them and it's only recently where i've finally met a therapist (an academic counsellor from my school, bless her soul and heart) that never ever said anything patronising or tried to tell me what i should've done, and instead just tells me to perceive my world as a series of good and bad decisions, and let go from the idea that 'this is certain', or that 'i have to do this' idk if any of that was relevant to you, but i think in an era where we're all exposed to so much social media and more specifically technological development, it's hard not to see a 'normal, ordinary' life as privileged. and what's worse is that when you feel that way, no one else can really help you, or at least see it the same way, because it seems so absurd. 'why are you guilty? it's okay' 'you deserve to be here, it's fine'

[@The_Jazziest_Coffee]

@@Hero_My_Beloved (following from previous comment) and i know when people say those kinds of things, it's out of genuine care, and out of love i'm not oblivious to the idea that these people care, and that's all the more i feel frustrated i'm conscious that i am willing to put myself down to make everyone else seem better, more worthy, more useful than me that i treat others with kindness and love, and yet am never able to save an ounce of it for myself and transitioning into an adult (final year of high school), i'm scared of what happens once i leave school what then is my purpose to my family? it's gone on a ramble, so to kinda summarise for actual advice from someone in your situation: what you're feeling is completely, valid i don't think it's a healthy mindset (cuz mine certainly isn't), but it's not a doomed and pitiful mindset. and remember, it's not that you needed to do anything to deserve the love your parents gave you you were just given it. there's no need for you to HAVE to deserve it, it's just something you were given it sounds so simple, but trust me i'm still barely able to understand it, but i'm trying, and i hope you will too take care :P

[@Hero_My_Beloved]

@@The_Jazziest_Coffee this was an amazing piece of advice. I'm really glad to see that you understand too. Because every time I try to explain it, people would respond with the classic "you shouldn't feel bad" "they are doing it cus they love you" and such. And, as you said, the worse is that I KNOW that's the truth, I KNOW that my parents just love me. And I'm incredibly glad to be loved, but if I can't provide, then I'm just leeching off of them. Sure, I've made them proud with some certificates here and there, but THEY paid for it. THEY gave me the support I needed to get these. It's pointless. And I'm glad to hear that there isn't any cure for these feelings, because then I'll feel free to feel them without shame. Without feeling like an attention whore that makes whines for seemingly small and insignificant things. At least I know now that what I feel is not life ruining. Just... A bad feeling. Deep in my soul that annoys me every time I'm an "inconvenience" or a "burden". Thank you, kind person. It's weird that internet strangers understand you better than your own parents. I hope you get to live a happy and fulfilling adult life :)

[@Emperor-Quill]

"I cost you money again." Despite almost a decade of thinking about it, I've never made an attempt on myself. Only because I knew that it would put my family in even more debt. It's expensive to be in a hospital, it's expensive to be in therapy, it's expensive to die. So I kept on being "ok." I'm at a point where I can say I'm doing better. Still have times where I think about it, and if it's bad enough, my mind will linger there, but that's gotten pretty rare nowadays. I have a lot of reasons to stick around, ranging from curiosity and love, all the way to spite and malice. Not all of these reasons can be satisfied, but that's the point. A thousand goals that cannot be reached in one lifetime, so I have no choice but to see this one all the way through to complete as many as I can. It works for me, at least.

[@wntrbrrytea]

I’m glad you’re still here.

[@wntrbrrytea]

Recently I’ve been thinking about collecting “sparks” as I go along - little moments and feelings and experiences that make life worth living. May we all find our own reasons and sparks, even if it’s just one!

[@olaczyk]

For real. Bro keep going. The comment above is great. I laugh to myself. When I am on the verge of tears I try to think of cool life things. I hope you get better. There will be downfalls, big downfalls, but the best way is to be ready for that. Or just accept that it happens. Hopes dreams can keep us alive. Stay safe bro

[@emmadj06]

That is such an unbelievably beautiful reason. And so well articulated. Thank you

[@Valery0p5]

Honestly that's what kept me away from it since I really understood the meaning of that word in 2018/9, when a stupid message almost gave everyone an heart attack. But it did become a recurring thought since then. I made so many pacts with myself that sound really similar to yours, and they kept me far from it for now. ...I hope the world never sees me breaking apart, cause that would be a massacre.

[@cecece648]

the tears representing the inner child really resonates me

[@pixelzebra8440]

I thought it was meant to be their child they brought into the world that kept them from drowning that will keep them alive until they leave as an adult leading them to su1cide

[@Katzykeens]

ok I was checking to see if that was the symbolism and OMG THAT'S GUTTING and true...

[@justnamedjosie]

that was the moment i started tearing up. it hit way to close to home. asking the question of “what does my inner child think of me now?” when your at such a low point, only for the animation to depict the child simply reaching out and embracing you is something i love so much. i always and forever will try to keep my inner child with me.

[@thecluckster3908]

Never heard of Genetic grief before, sounds heartbreaking

[@Staredstar]

Same. Tbh looking from this its probebly the same as genarational trauma? Corrict me if im wrong though

[@cluckcluckchicken]

Mental illnesses like depression are strongly linked to genetics. "Grief" is not genetic but depression can be.

[@glorbojibbins2485]

Depression runs in my family, my grandfather shot himself. Life's rough.

[@thecluckster3908]

@@Staredstar I think there’s is probably a notable difference, trauma is more harsh while grief is more sad. So while someone with generational trauma is more likely to recreate harsh traumatic experiences to their children, someone with generational grief is more likely to pass on their sadness to their kids.

[@thecluckster3908]

@@glorbojibbins2485 yeah it is but that’s what makes it worth living, and sorry to hear about your loss

[@psychosemantics]

You are not your parents' mistakes, nor your own failures, you are what you do & how you treat others. Stay safe friends.

[@infinitezebra]

This! ❤️‍🔥 rise above. We can break the patterns. ❤️‍🩹✨🧬

[@p5rsona]

You are not even that

[@infinitezebra]

@@p5rsona a pattern?

[@p5rsona]

@@infinitezebra On some level

[@infinitezebra]

@@p5rsona I mean we basically are genetic dna patterns but we are able to shift to new patterns when we focus on being what we want the new pattern to be. We are not our fears or anxieties. That’s for sure. We are pure love and the ones who couldn’t get there left us heartbreaking gems to remind us to continue on and create new patterns. Not only for us as individuals but to pass it on to others too! 💓

[@BeanieDoesAJ]

I have a friend whose father committed suicide last month. I made an attempt at 13. Feeling like you’re a burden for being in pain hurts, and drowning is a great description of it. You’re unaware of which way is up and which is down, which path will be the right one. My father called me weak and threatened to disown me when I told him I was hurting myself. I still think about it everyday. This animation is a beautiful representation of all of the emotions surrounding suicide. It made me tear up. Much love ❤

[@MP-Boya]

That’s so painful to even imagine, I’m so glad you’re alive. Much love

[@BeanieDoesAJ]

@@MP-Boya Thank you ❤️

[@cozzymozzy6214]

Im so sorry that your father reacted that way, you deserve all the love in the world and not that awful reaction. Sending you hugs from afar 🫂

[@BeanieDoesAJ]

@@cozzymozzy6214 Thank you so much 💕

[@Manticorn]

Your father is just a fool. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Probably doesn't know how to respond to anything except with anger. That's his problem.

[@ChocolateChick1000]

I lost my cousin last month due to suicide. We almost never saw each other due to old hurt between our parents, but she was not even 2 years older than me and I always thought there would come a day when I'd see her again. She took care of all of her own post-mortem administration and funeral arrangements before she took her own life. Even in death, she didn't want to be a burden for her parents and siblings that loved her so much.

[@4l3ks-_-sl4v]

3:20 made me cry. Any time I am down, I always remember myself at 9, when everything started, who would be proud that I am still alive. Or even just at 6, with four dream jobs on my poster where everyone else had one or two. I have to do it for them. I need to keep going for them

[@DevikaBTS-qu4op]

I am in awe with the audio in this work. The breath I let out when I heard the sound of the character breaking the surface and laughing, short but true.

[@TobyJWalter]

The whole animation up to the point where he's under/going to get out of the water is kinda like smeared watercolor, as if he's slowly been drowning until he swims out...

[@RottedDaisies]

1:51 idk why but to me, the fact they gradually get blurrier and blurrier just symbolizes how it's their father's father and stuff... idk if that makes sense but idk how to put it into words

[@62redhead]

I made a serious attempt when I was 16, and I tried to drown myself in my bathtub. The metaphor of this despair being like drowning hits for me in a lot of different ways, not only because it's an accurate description of such a profound sorrow, but because of my attempt. I've been haunted by that feeling of a vast, empty suffocation for my entire life. I am much better now. I am 22, an age I never thought I would reach, and I can say that for the first time in my life I feel like I am swimming. Maybe not quickly, or efficiently, but I am swimming, though it is more like doggy paddling. A lyric from a song that stuck with me and helped me when I was considering attempting again, "When it seems you're all but drowning, may the water quench your thirsting." - A Benediction, by The Arcadian Wild (written by Isaac Horn) Thank you for making this. I am never out of the water, but I am learning to swim. I am learning to swim.

[@feastofthefoul]

oh my, thank you for this, i genuinely teared up

[@62redhead]

@@feastofthefoul You're so welcome, and thank you for reading! Oftentimes when I comment things like this anywhere on the internet, it pretty much feels like shouting into the void, but it's nice to know somebody took something away from something I said or did. I hope you are doing well! :)

[@feastofthefoul]

@@62redhead yes, the internet has a habit of doing that,, but your comment really spoke to me! it reminded me of the mindset I currently have that's been keeping me going all these years. i hope you're doing well too!

[@62redhead]

@@feastofthefoul Glad to hear it :)

[@lizafankhauser6461]

i love the arcadian wild i was really not expecting the lyrics to be by them and i hope you are doing well friend C:

[@garden_vibes7796]

Yeah I know this feeling. Beautiful and haunting animation. It's mind bending to try to unravel our past, and how we came to be when there is so much tragedy.

[@ireallydidntwanttomakeanac575]

I don't know how to describe the way I was feeling with watching this. Those notes of "I cost you money again", the self directed hit on the side of the head. It just hit me. I've had these feelings, I've had those looks of disappointment on parents' face as they see or later know that I have gone into the hospital, I have constantly belittled the good I have because I believe that I do not deserve it. I've just wanted to escape. I don't know what my genetic grief is that has ended with me attempting to end my own life twice. Both my parents are messed up in their own ways, but nothing as huge as an attempt on their life. I hope that I am the last member of my family to attempt these things. Thank you for creating this, TAEETIMEE. And thank you for being here.

[@meltingmug]

Every frame of this should be hung up on a wall. It’s all so beautiful, so compelling, so… I don’t even know how to describe it. This is everything. Note: 0:01 - Apparently the comment sorting is broken now? Adding this to check. I like your shoelaces, btw.

[@verycoolwhaleshark]

thanks, i stole them from the president

[@idekanymore8361]

The woman looking disappointed in him for his problems is something I relate to. When I was 14, I was self-harming and my mom found out. It didn’t go well and she ended up saying that if I seek therapy I’ll be in an asylum, and I won’t get a job in the future because I would be labeled as crazy. I’m in my first year of college now, away from her and my family. She definitely changed for the better to an extent, but it sucked watching my sisters having their own issues and my mom finally realizing the seriousness of mental health and getting them therapy. She would give me therapy today, but I refuse her offer and hate the idea of accepting therapy, especially when it’s provided by her. I’ll go to therapy under my own time and when I feel like it, but it’ll be through what my college provides and never through my mom.

[@grellie4845]

Thank you for making this. More than how the pacing, animation, coloring, and the way the shots were posed, this entire animation feels heartbreaking. Thank you so much for making this ❤

[@sereshaw]

My father didnt kill himself thankfully but my grandfather did when my dad was 16, and i remember thinking when i was 13,14, 15 that maybe the fact i was suicidal was just a genetic thing that i couldnt change. There was some sort of comfort in the idea that it was always meant to be, or maybe never meant to be actually. Im better now though but this animation still made me pretty emotional. Great work as always

[@cybercrasherstv]

"I cost you money again" is agonizing, I stopped telling my parents my issues (being trans, eyesight issues, depression) because I thought it would cost them too much money. I was put into a medical evaluation by a carnival cruise, which wasn't covered by insurance, and cost over $100+. I was heartbroken about it for far longer than I let on. Thank you for making this. I relate to it for a lot more reasons, but this one stuck out the most to me rn

[@averyn1ceguy]

I’m really sorry for you, I wish you better days to come 😢

[@cybercrasherstv]

@@averyn1ceguy thank you, I try to be

[@neonice]

I'm glad to live in a country that has free Healthcare because I'd be dead in the US lol

[@marbledway]

⁠@@neonicenothing is free though.. it comes from the taxes you or your parents pay, it’s just an insurance

[@parisouu]

@@neoniceGood for you ig

[@spacecadetidiot2672]

As a schizophrenic, seeing animations like this gives me a lot of catharsis. I appreciate your work on this wonderful piece of art. Even got me to tear up a bit :]

[@youknowme.]

The lines "I don't deserve this" and "I coat you money again" hits so hard

[@LeeChakos]

… yesterday and today was the first time in a long time where i didn’t feel suicidal in a very long time… tell your closest friends and you’ll be okay… focusing on yourself really makes it all better. :)

[@anyysebakova]

I'm so glad you didn't feel like that at least for a few days♡ When i was 14, I felt like that everyday, every moment and was in a fight against my own mind all the time. I just hope that it will not be for a few days in the nearest future, but much more, because you matter. You are loved. You are strong. And you are absolutely worthy, even if you don't feel like it. If there is not anyone who loves you, then it's not true, because i'm here and i'm sending you lots of love, support, strength and if you don't mind, hugs too. It will get better. I don't know when, but it will.°.•♡•.°. (This implies for anyone reading)

[@LeeChakos]

@@anyysebakova … thank you so much. Lots of loves and hugs! And to many happy years ahead of us! Have a great day and have an even better life! 😊🍀🥲💛

[@anyysebakova]

@@LeeChakos thank you so much💙

[@LeeChakos]

@@anyysebakova … of course! You’re so welcome! Spread love and positivity! 🍀😊

[@silverkenesis]

2:39 i imagine this kind of thing..? a lot when i grieve, it really hit home seeing this part. this entire animation hit home

[@VOX_official_account-cw9jo]

"I cost you money again" Hit home because I'm terrified at costing my parents money, I lied about my eyesight and mental issues, and I have learned to mask pain and illness really well and although it's still a fear of mine to cost too much I have gotten slightly better now that my mom has a better paying job

[@jaylynns-camera]

The inner child and the feeling of drowning the most real thing to me. You start to feel so heavy after a while and you want to fight but you start to grow tired. And lately i keep thinking "do it for her." I do everything i do to make little me proud. And when i think about what she would do if she saw me now- she would just hug me so hard, until i felt better. That little girl is everything to me.

[@mr.pyschicvoid8550]

this snapped me out of a manic episode ive been in thank you holy fuck thank you

[@InnocentChild0_0]

awh, I'm sorry

[@k.h.1057]

"do you miss it?" the feeling of missing how you once saw colours......this world when did it change

[@Thorebourne]

this really couldn't come at more impactful time in my life, and even if what i've gone through isn't exactly the same, this really spoke to me. i appreciate you making this and sharing it with the world.

[@shelleyisdreamin]

"I cost you money again" and the impulsive self-harming is too relatable 😭

[@Anasumi]

I'm ngl I misread this as "Genetical Thief" and I thought it was gonna be some doppelganger stuff or smth lol

[@Koopie-r3q]

2:17 This line really hit me. I dont feel happy when my parents buys things for me. It doesnt make things better, it makes things worse. I dont feel good receiving it when I dont feel like I've done anything for them. The only thing im good at is studying, but even im not good at it.

[@lapislazuli9465]

This hits really close to home as someone who's been feeling like a leech and a drain on resources for the past few months. I quit my job thanks to a mental breakdown. My last serious attempt was when I was a teenager. It has been getting better for me recently. I know for many it hasn't been. I hope whatever you are personally going through, that you will be ok. "Everything will be ok."

[@msnicotiana]

I've attempted and been there for people who have. It's so, so valid to be disappointed in someone for attempting, but whether you like it or not, it isn't fair to show it. Not to them. They didn't try to hurt you intentionally, they didn't try to make you worried sick. They just tried to cope with their pain in a really awful, violent, and objectively selfish way. But until you're in the moment, you'll never realise just how out of your own control you are when you're suicidal. When you finally reach the point of attempting, the suicidality overrides you. It's like you're already the walking dead, and it's just a matter of finally dying. You're allowed to feel however you feel about someone's suicide attempt, but you are just as responsible for being understanding and compassionate. If that looks like stepping away because you just can't handle it, then it is what it is, but it's not your right to make someone feel like a burden. That's when you confide in a therapist or another trusted friend.

[@isailywashere372]

The sounds are such a work of art.

[@jilliananderson5582]

This is one of my favorite art short-films I’ve seen on this platform. The abstract feelings were perfectly captured without dialogue. I unfortunately struggle with thoughts like this, but fighting for yourself is a difficult yet worthwhile battle. Thanks for bringing awareness to this in a beautiful form, you communicated with the parts I’ve struggled to communicate to others for years. Stay safe everyone. You’re worth it every second of every day, no matter how you feel about yourself

[@evgeniapopova4788]

I will never regret the decision subscribing to this channel. Raw amd fascinating as always

[@RatKingRussian]

I still remember calling my mom from the psych ward after I got ressed in the ambulance from my attempt. So painful and such a traumatizing experience I developed a panic disorder and hypochondria. I'll never forget how my sister showed me later the message ta her that my mom didn't believe it happened, that I was being dramatic. She's a good Mom now. Supportive and helps . But I'll never see her the same way again fully.

[@ilpulcinopio-jw4co]

god this is so awesome im lowkey tearing up (sobbing on the floor)

[@ninjachicz1113]

This came at a really interesting time for me. Last night I was crying and had the same kind of thing happen.. Where I just swore I didn’t deserve my mental illness (bipolar in my case) and how it brought so much pain I never asked for. And then I comforted myself and slept after not sleeping for almost 2 days. I hope you’re doing good. This was beautiful and spoke to me as I’ve had similar experiences.. and it felt like less than a minute to me because of how enraptured I was. Absolutely beautiful. Its true that art is meant to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed.

[@Takxicity]

2:45 me when someone says that I'm just like my parents because I'm afraid that how they act right now is a peek into my future

[@moonjellyzzz]

i dont usually comment on videos, but this is incredibly compelling. i lost both of my grandparents within the span of four days recently, and it's been taking its toll. thank you, sincerely, for creating such a beautiful piece of art that resonates so strongly.

[@elijahtronti8574]

That was so powerful, and so gorgeously illustrated. I love how you concluded it too. I think the secrets to fighting inner demons and depression really lies in getting in touch with that innocent child that is still alive, deep within us. The one that trusts and loves and forgives without hesitation or condition. It’s easy to grow up and place all manner of criticism and shame on ourselves because we have to witness every mistake we make, and we tend to record those mistakes too. But that lil kid is still there, just wanting to catch bugs and play and create and have an ice cream day and probably wondering why we don’t direct more love/grace towards ourselves more often

[@omerkhan8972]

Thank you for ruining my day and also creating something so beautiful.

[@CeliaLudicrum]

I think it's interesting that it ends with darkness and water, considering that that's how life begins. It's almost as if he was re-born through the birth of his child.

[@Neverpullingitout]

Lost my father when i was 14. Honestly i didnt show a lot of emotions But Still growing up mithout a father to Teach me Skills Is Pretty bad..

[@epicfishandturtles]

Thanks for this

[@jasdrawssometimes4660]

"i cost you money again" is a line i know too well. this is very relatable, especially turning to the ocean for answers, turning to your younger self for forgiveness

[@betthysl2]

these shadows also feel like fears. like you live with them all your life, scared to disappoint someone and they just drown you all the time. and it feels like they are attached to you, you cannot leave them or whatever, and you don't understand anymore, are you drowning yourself or is it your fears

[@skybug1706]

i come from a family of addicts and alcoholics on all sides, and my dad killed himself when i was 13. i wasn't expecting to read that first line. the author states this is fictional for them, but they did a good job representing the "presence" of people who made a decision long before you could consider such a thing for yourself: there they still are, inside your soul, reminding you what they're capable of and thus what you're capable of; the very existence of your people feeling compelled to do something will leech into you and you'll feel the urge too. the haunting is multiplied in this way.

[@kinggrimm2700]

This is absolutely mesmerizing The animation, the colors, it all feels so ethereal

[@bunniesprite]

“I cost you money again” conveys something so not talked about and so fucking painful holy shit I can’t articulate myself very well but thank you for ur art friend

[@upon_thetaintedsorrow]

the way i cried, this is.. gorgeous

[@grenindraw6947]

Ive wanted to commit for a good while Even now, after i thought everything had just gotten better and all my flaws would fade as soon as i got away from my mom And it did, for awhile. And then i kept making mistakes I got more forgetful It got harder to accept that others could love me That my family could That any of my friends could When all I am is flaws and doubt, misery and hate The worst part is i want to get better, but theres so much piled up and so many things and mental blocks locked together that its so hard to do anything but dissociate all day Sorry, Im really tired, I needed to vent out in the open where i wont feel like im weighing someone else down

[@ThatNoobKing]

I feel ya man.

[@bananna13]

Please keep alive, there's still light out there that's greater than your mistakes.

[@thecometguy8154]

It's just one step at a time man. You'll get it. Work up to the big stuff later but for now just take one step, one thing at a time.

[@Omnilosopher]

The fact that you are even alive means you will naturally heal, think of it as the adaptation of animals to their environment. You will get better.

[@CosmicTornado1]

I just went through every one of your videos. Even if your artstyle isn’t consistent, the style of your heart found in each video is. Your videos are art, and they are beautiful. Thank you.

[@enk335]

Thank you so much. This is beautiful. I just turned 19 2 weeks ago, and the person I loved most in this world left me shortly after. I didn't have any suicidal thoughts again, but I actually self-harmed for the first time. But I told my parents and my therapist, and it's healing well. I'm never doing it again. "I cost you money again", "I don't deserve this", and the image of the child self hugging the present self really resonated with me. I can really relate to this video. I'll just have to find a reason to live without them, I guess. I could do all the good deeds in the world, I could fight the good fight, but I don't think I'd feel fulfilled. Nobody will ever love me like they did ever again. Everything feels meaningless in comparison. But I can't die, because that wouldn't be fair to anyone. Not to them, not to my friends, not to my family, and not to me.

[@StellarCat]

This almost made me cry. It sucks how it can be so difficult to break generational trauma, especially in cultures where physical and verbal abuse is normalized. I love this animation though. I feel stronger knowing that I will hopefully be the one to stop the cycle of pain. Much love to the animator(s) ❤

[@ryescooker]

i ruminate at the fact that the mind is so intangible yet so powerful. most of the time, we really can't recognize depression. we struggle to spot that someone has it and yet it's so fatal that we only realize things when it's already too late. if you ask me, that doesn't make it too far off from a ghost; just haunting people silently and then taking them out 'suddenly.' if you are suffering from depression, try to help yourself by seeking help. something as simple as talking your emotions out to someone who is willing to listen will really go a long way. on the contrary, if you think someone has depression, offer a listening ear. they really need it. the intrusive voices in your head don't speak for yourself nor do they know what's best for you. remember, you deserve to live and to be loved.

[@AnOmoriFanatic]

This is so good- words seriously cannot explain the creativity, thought, symbolism, and style put into this- “I cost you money again.”

[@doomedcells5994]

I've very often felt a deep sorrow over not being able to change who i am on a very fundamental level. To know that I'm going to struggle in my life due to numerous things outside of my own control and, I've often told myself that I don't deserve good or bad things in my life, that costing my parents money is an awful thing to do and that I should have either sustained myself by now or put an end to that permanently. I'm 19 and I'm still going through the motions but this is a good animation. Definitely made me feel less alone at least, thank you.

[@Ralfy_fig]

It often feels like a curse. My paternal grandfather killed himself when my father was 8 years old. I obviously never met the guy, but his decision still leaves impacts to this day. The scene where the MC is floating in that black endless void... I have been there myself, it's oddly comforting.

[@Y-LAT]

you don't need to be profitable for anyone, think about yourself more, love yourself more and take the gifts with gratitude ❤️

[@iloveyou.4740]

You perfectly captured greif and the way that you an always feel them there. The way that the breathless air runs down your back and makes the hairs on your skin go up. Knowing that in a way their always their. This is beautiful. Never stop creating. your doing wonderful. Thank you.

[@gastapasta1061]

This is absolutely insane. Im so glad i watched it Also the scratchily written 엄마 made me happy

[@okibe]

When I was 10y, my parents decided to divorce. I remember clearly my parents arguing intensely inside the car, then my father said while screaming: "Pick which one of us do you want to live with, quick."

[@okibe]

My brain at the time had no idea what was happening. "My parents are leaving? Where are they going? What is happening?"

[@okibe]

I could only cry in front of them while they were arguing, the sound of my cry made my dad more furious while he was driving. My mother was silent, as if something or someone inside of her went away, disappeared.

[@okibe]

Years after their divorce (I was 13), my mother got heavily depressed. She stopped cooking, cleaning the house, doing laundry and taking some pills for something to this day I don't know.

[@okibe]

I also had 2 older brothers, they never had a reaction and never seemed to care much about what was happening. But my mother wanted me to support her, I had no idea what to do. So I began helping doing what I could and learning everything by myself.

[@okibe]

She also was jobless and she decided to make jewelry and get some money. She asked me to sell at my school, everyday I spent my time during lunch and after school to try to convince people to buy my mother's jeweleries.

[@stellanovaluna]

Break the cycle.

[@Alicia.q]

this made me sob. Since I wasn't even a teenager I've had mental health stuff that has made me left like this. The biggest concern when I wanted to attempt was that if I failed, I would cost money to my family. I've hardly ever in any of the time I've been hurting actually tell anyone, I feel like an attention seeker. I think I should stick around a little longer regardless and maybe once we are more well off, I can get a therapist. All the let so people shared resonated with me a lot and thank you mostly to the animator for opening this door to let so many people be comfortable to share their amazing and brave stories and making this accurate depiction of what it feels like to go through this, making us feel seen.

[@Olliethecatboi]

My stomach cramped the entire time i watched this and is still going now. The pain and sorrow we all go through feels like its too much. Like we're drowning... This entire video was made beautifully. I thank you for that

[@starshinevideoarchivalproj8368]

oh my god. everything about this video is beautiful. the storytelling, the art style, the sounds... wow. i cant even put it into a single comment without turning this into an essay!! thank you youtube for reccomending me this so early

[@lesliewoof]

“I cost you money again” my heart makes a loud thump and then everything hurts

[@Squidbork]

This is actually so well made I- the amount of emotion all your work brings is amazing

[@anthonywane8344]

The car ride playing Billie Holiday's God bless the child is super nostalgic for me. First song i heard by her, and will always be a memory for me. Lovely touch.

[@ddodoib3620]

oh my god this is an award worthy short.. literal masterpiece you deserve sm love..

[@duckman2480]

No it’s not. It’s just a short about suicide. Wow, a topic that has a billion animations. Imma kms lol so deep. If you think your life is so important that you would do the most performative act of all and end it you are a piece of shit. None of us matter.

[@Thorebourne]

​@@duckman2480i couldn't imagine being as truly miserable as someone like you. to be so devoid of empathy is honestly impressive.

[@rubycr306]

My mom's dad took his own life after battling with depression, I wasn't even born. When I was eleven my favourite person in the world did the same, my mom's sister. I could see how she faded with time, how she was left before even trying to leave. My own mom battled with the lack of control of her emotions and her depression and anxiety since I was little, and it was then when I started to ask myself if that was genetic. At the time I was also depressed, I never felt anything at all and when I tried, it was always forced. I wanted to runaway from everything, but I knew that I couldn't do what my aunt did, every time I tried I felt even worse. That kind of loss leaves a mark in the family. I still don't know if it's genetic, but it's certainly something really hard to live with. Right now everything's better, I'm 20 now and trying to break the cicle of the poor mental health my family's been living with.

[@armaansingh6047]

Hey, hope you're doing good. ❤ im wishing you the best stranger :)

[@rubycr306]

@@armaansingh6047 thank you so much, I hope the best for you too!💜

[@私はtherizeinです]

my mother’s side was riddled with mental illness. my grandad was bipolar. my grandmother was schizophrenic, she killed herself. my mother was bipolar, she had a psychosis at a young age. i continued the trend. i had a psychosis at 15. my psychiatrist said it was likely trauma-induced due to the abuse and neglect from my mother (i have cptsd). i continued the trend of misfortune, but i will not continue the trend of tragedy. most on that side of the family went down a very dark route but i refuse to. i’m 18 now, still medicated but psychosis-free, i’ve been set back years in my education but it’s not gonna stop me. wherever life takes me it won’t be where they went. i’m not a victim like my grandma and i’m not a perpetrator like my mum, i’m a survivor.

[@Juniper.berry_]

2:51 hit a chord, and he "I cost you more money".Thankyou for this

[@davidkim7332]

The way you framed it and animated it and lines of dialogue. It's all so powerful. On a critical level, its tight. On a me describing it and loving it level, its so beautifully tragic and the fact me and many others here are relating to the lines and feelings really kicks us in the gut punch throat stomach. Also colors.

[@MalachiM.]

“I don’t deserve this” and then the sequence following resonated so heavily. I felt so alone before her. I felt so lost before her. And I still feel a bit lost but I’m not alone. I don’t know what my purpose is but, God, I don’t have to do it alone. I felt so much light following love and I want to feel more but I know not to be greedy this time around just to be indulgent and soft with my love

[@sabinegregorio]

the choice to not make the dark figures audibly talk was a good one. as well as the choice to have the moment of rage/self harm feel so quick. those moments feel the shortest in the long run, the times where you are grappling between slowly, painfully coping or causing the ones you love more distress in an attempt to end your pain feel like the longest times in the world. when i start making art to vent how i feel, i find i'm on the way back up. i hope that's true for you as well, good luck out here :)

[@rey.0oi]

sorry for your loss. I'm shook with no way of feeling happy again today

[@kennedyr6271]

Thank you for this piece of art. The scene of his younger self holding and comforting him broke my heart

[@kewlkat6264]

A very sad but beautiful animation. Not quite depression but I suffer from anxiety, as does my father, and as does his mother so I kinda understand the feeling of a generational burden.

[@starsALTrisen]

that line, "i cost you money again" has kept me alive before. i didn't want to fail. amazing animation ❤❤

[@theflamingphoenix]

This is one of the most harrowing and beautiful animated shorts I've ever seen. Kudos

[@KITSUNEKID333]

woah, dude! this looks professional. i really liked how you portrayed being haunted by trauma. it was very reflecting of my own experiences

[@toadigail]

my father first attempted suicide when he was 16. as i grew up, he had me hide his failed suicide attempts from my mother. my plan was to drown myself. i wanted to put myself through as much pain as i could before i could finally escape, mainly from myself. once i got better, my father left me behind with nothing but his corpse that he hung from the ceiling beams in our garage. thank you for sharing this. i know it resonates with lots of kids of suicide just like myself. constantly trapped in the thought that you'll die the same way your pathetic parent did. but i won't. both for him and myself. he deserved to be happy and so do i, even if i have trouble admitting it to myself. i want to live the life that his chronic depression took away from him

[@run4th3h111s]

this is beautiful. it resonates with every bone in my body. thank you.

[@AbstractPenny]

this is one of the greatest animatics of all time, im not even exaggerating

[@AzerothChronicles4376]

Thank you....I have never been able to voice my problems or troubles and never wanted anyone to know there was something wrong keeping it locked. This is a really good video to watch to avoid doing the thing that none of us who felt this way wants to do

[@BrianCastilo-p8e]

The last part of you crying, feeling like you’re stuck, you not being, and feeling like you can’t escape what is haunted you so badly just. Just seeing the child appear made me cry so much. I’ll tell you this. I don’t know how it feels to go through what you went or exactly feel what you felt. But l do know how it’s like to not have a Dad, and feeling like you wanna do harm to yourself, because of all your mixed, very real feelings, and what feel like tons on tons of pain hurt, and confusion over your life. I haven’t seen my dad in 11 years, and it’s gonna be 12 after December. I don’t really know why am doing this. But l guess part of me feels like l’ll help someone, or just have a little More peace with myself. I hope the best for everyone that comments, and watch’s your stuff for even a second. But seriously you Maybe feel seen. Thank you for making this. You’re a real one man.

[@breadisrawtoast]

this vid captured my guilt from having it supposively ended

[@hollz5475]

this is the most beautiful thing ive ever watched wtaf please keep making this shit its the most emotionally complex and devastating but gorgeous thing ive ever seen