Talk to strangers: Danny Harris at TEDxFoggyBottom

[@gordongekko2781]

To those of you complaining of approach anxiety...I was the same way, but I got over it with one simple technique: Stop concerning yourself with the *outcome* of the conversation. It is not your responsibility to say something brilliant in every conversation you initiate. Have some insight you'd like to share with someone or a question you'd like to ask? Just do it! Don't overthink it. If the other person responds, then make an effort to continue the conversation while keeping in mind that they are not grading your performance. Some conversations will last longer than others. Some will be memorable than others. Your goal should simply be to contribute some brief companionship to someone else's day, then move on. That's it. Do that, and many of you will overcome your anxiety as I did.

[@jeffreywendel7076]

Got any habits that will help teach me this?

[@ruthaichaudohfiaise8832]

Thank you so much

[@dropthebassline]

Be yourself, talk to everyone you can. If someone is introverted, don't shy away from taking the initiative to talk to them as deep down they are just wishing someone would talk to them in the first place.

[@madlen3524]

Thank you. Those are really true words!

[@kassi4837]

I am a shy girl with a lot of social anxiety that I wish to overcome because I care about people. This speech as encouraged me not to give up . Thanks for this :)

[@differentworld2822]

never give up👍

[@bombardier0543]

Best of luck!

[@philu3]

That's fine and all to not give up; but did the speech give you actionable tips and drills to slowly beat Social anxiety? Nope. It was mostly soaring rhetoric and virtue signaling. Most people have social anxiety: we need more actionable drills, and less "motivational" speeches.

[@guillermovignote7976]

@@philu3 He gave you the answer. People asked him about his methods but he had none, he probably had anxiety and struggled the first times he approached a stranger with no idea about what kind of conversation he was going to have, but he just did it, said Hello, told them he wanted to feel more connected and had many different reactions. But at the end of each day he had talk to at least one complete stranger. With how many strangers have you talked just for conversation in the last month? I bet you could try! I have had social anxiety almost all of my life and have read a lot about it, but this is the only guy who gave me an actual exercise, and so simple! I am definitely gonna try, starting from tomorrow; you can too!

[@kevin19900919]

Kassondra Ola hi

[@Sebmar24]

We are not meant to feel so alone and disconnected in this world.

[@madlen3524]

Absolutely! Hope you have a great day today. :)

[@mothcub]

It's nervous in London but talking to strangers is so rewarding and nice, or even just smiling at them. Idk makes me happy, makes other people happy.

[@mothcub]

sakurad49 What does that have to do with anything? One of my favourite things about London is the diversity and some of the nicest and coolest people I've ever met have been muslims, so why don't you shove your racism and Islamophobia up your ass?

[@gedr7664]

In London it's really hard to even make eye-contact and smile, I try pro-actively to do it cause it DOES REALLY make you feel goood, happy, but there's some sort of social stigma where everyone just looks ahead into the void :(.

[@Grandson227]

Talking with strangers will enrich your life. Amen brother Danny, amen!

[@johndavidthacker]

Ha! I met Blelvis, the Black Elvis (7:04), when I lived in DC back in 1997. Good to know he's still doing his thing.

[@zorkan111]

I remember when I was a kid and my mother would take me to a doctor or something, she would ALWAYS strike up a conversation with other ladies or gentlemen in the waiting room. It was a normal thing. They're both in the same room, both bored and waiting. Why not talk? Since then, I'm having a hard time remembering the last time I've seen strangers engage in a conversation like that. Myself included.

[@danielaboulfadl7342]

+zorkan111 Why do you think that is? I think it's mostly due the fact that networking was harder during that generation so you had to be more extroverted. Personally I'm a 23yr guy, so obviously there wasn't a time that internet didn't "bridge gaps".

[@blindade1]

+zorkan111 Yeah i remember those days, they were awesome, i’d give anything to have them back. I’m from Melbourne Australia and talking to strangers is the weirdest thing ever, it’s like a crime sometimes cause people are so pathetic, all focused is put into social media and shit, no wonder suicide rate is high and so many people on anti-represents, cause we lost that human connection, nothing beats what God created, and that is natural connection between strangers, people would be a lot happier if they did it more often

[@blindade1]

+daniel aboulfadl It’s because people are pussies and shallow now, the only conversation they can have is behind a computer screen or texting on a phone, personally, i like talking to strangers, going out meeting new people, all my friends and best friends were strangers at one point in time, and since one of us had the balls to get up and talk to the other cause they saw some common ground/interest, it ended up in an awesome friendship or relationship. Fuck social media, i agree with this guy, go out and talk to people, your most likely an awesome guy, and if people are too dumb and shallow to realise that then that’s their loss

[@nicom4996]

By far this is the best ted talk I'v seen. I started a friendship ( not a big one but still...) just by simply giving a pencil to a guy. Its so simple and hard at the same time but its worth it. Thanks for sharing your story to an audience that wants to make the society better!

[@real-ix]

How's the friendship dawg?

[@djk0125]

Becoming habituated to loneliness &/or isolation is very painful for most who experience it especially at first, but live it long enough & it does become one's normal lifestyle. Regardless it is something most people experience as an ongoing loss & is accepted as an unforseen sad reality of adulthood. Loneliness & isolation aren't usually aspects of life one would knowingly choose, but once they're entrenched habits it takes real courage & risk-taking to break-out. Its worth the little bit of thought, planning & action required to once again create the joyful life with people most of us crave.

[@motv-independentthinkingfo3817]

YES! AMEN! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS TEDX, WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE GET STUCK IN THE NORMS OF THEIR COMFORT BUBBLES AND DON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THE STRANGERS THEY SEE AND INTERACT WITH ALL THE TIME THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE! WE ARE ALL HUMAN! WE ARE ALL ONE! FORGET THE DIFFERENCES AND LET OUR SIMILARITIES BRING US TOGETHER, PLEASE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD LOVE EACH OTHER AND CONNECT! WE ARE ALL NOT SO DIFFERENT AT ALL WHEN WE TALK TO EACH OTHER AND LISTEN TO WHAT EACH OTHER HAS TO SAY, AND JUST THINK OF EVERYTHING YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU JUST MIGHT LEARN FROM SOMEONE ELSE!💯💯💯💯💯🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤❤❤❤❤

[@Zara_Luna]

volunteer at a nursing home. It will change your life honestly. we are more alike than you can imagine.

[@arelyhd3821]

I am from Mexico and I usually talk with strangers but mainly with older women, I have learned a lot from them :) Also, when I see people from other countries I try to talk with them to practice my english and to recommend places here :)

[@ramaraop9096]

You are great Danny... If we understand, help our neighbours and hope for well-being of our surroundings... we can do wonders where ever we live.

[@bernardbarbour]

Truly inspired by your Ted Talk. As a Washingtonian, I learned this valuable lesson (talk to strangers) many many years ago from my Grandfather growing up in the city. Every person is a library, full of interesting antidotes, education, history and mystery. You never know who you are around, their background, what makes them tick and where they are on their journey in life. Especially in DC, so many are from somewhere else, as well as the Washingtonians themselves, some of the stories I would hear are mesmerizing, captivating, and inspirational. Thank you for your wonderful blog and keep up the great work. Would hope to meet you personally some day. Kind regards, Sir.

[@leolovespink95]

This reminds me of Humans of New York!

[@FeliciaTheblessedWest]

New to Tedx and this is by far my favorite…I wish there was a love button.

[@RiccardoVCirillo]

One of the most inspiring Tedx Talks I've ever seen!

[@luciliabarros5947]

I met my husband at the bus stop. He started a conversation asking me if his bus had alreday gone...

[@blindade1]

+Lucilia Barros That’s great, he’s probably an amazing person, but you’d probably have never known that if you were stuck-up, pathetic and anti-social like society is today, you were probably kind,warm hearted and down to earth and it payed of, i wish you both all the happiness in the world and pray that the same happens to more people who are kind and down to earth like yourself Lucilia Barros :)

[@luciliabarros5947]

+blindade1 ;-)

[@luciliabarros5947]

Thanks. You are verry kind.

[@blindade1]

:) maybe you deserve kindness for the kindness you show to people

[@luciliabarros5947]

Thank you :)

[@Epcwhale]

My favourite Tedx Talk I've come by so far. What a great speaker and message.

[@aniruddhavasudev9384]

there was this college fest we had where more than 2000 people came from different colleges all around the state so me and some of my friends decided to talk to strangers and take selfies.we ended up taking more than 500 selfies with soo many people and some of them even still send messages on fb!was a great experience

[@RobSummers]

Hey TEDx Talks, I just watched Talk to strangers: Danny Harris at TEDxFoggyBottom and thought it was great. I'm looking forward to seeing your next one. Thanks again Rob Summers

[@harrisonrutledge5]

I'm trying this...I've felt the exact same way in life. Standing in line at the supermarket in the Power and Light District of KC in 2015. Thank you Danny!

[@aznmarinex2]

I tried to be friendly and kind, but most of society still gives me the cold shoulder or just think im weird...

[@SjeikJoriz]

And then you just keep on going and trying! Don't give up doing the good work my friend!

[@stevedoetsch]

So true. I watch these videos and get inspired, then try to practice being more friendly and people react like i'm a weirdo. Oh well.

[@mikemcmillan5482]

This is pure gold.

[@psmills2984]

Truly Inspiring!!! Thank you for what you're doing to make this world a better place.

[@yllalalala7575]

Amazing speech! Got inspired by it :) I hope you are all having a great day. Keep being awesome people :)

[@tomquinn2773]

Thanks I hope the same for you.

[@yllalalala7575]

Hi Thomas :) yes Im having a wonderful day :)

[@anjaylah]

Beat ted talk I’ve heard in a decade

[@pooneht4598]

Such a great man.thanks

[@kalenna6785]

People have choice to do what they want and what they don't as long as it s not hurting anyone. If someone don't feel like talking and just be comfortable on their own, it doesn't mean that they deserve discrimination.

[@lindascoon4652]

Having grown up in a community where talking to strangers was as dangerous as petting barking dogs I find it really hard to talk to strangers. I don't trust people because it was the ones who smiled that bad things. truly something I gotta overcome

[@rebeccasmith9536]

Many people prefer to be left alone, But I still talk to strangers. I still hep strangers.

[@haoneg]

So damn handsome in your corduroy suit! Loved the talk. Love your inspiring work. Hope to meet again soon. Guy Hajaj

[@anthonytoohey1343]

I so love this!!

[@arturolinqui7604]

wow really opened my eyes

[@nellyharris8025]

This is wonderful! Congratulations Danny

[@junbugg5540]

Thank you for breaking my shyness

[@matthewerasmus4803]

This is inspirational...

[@ThezookieChronicles]

I worked with the guy in the "Nothing 2 Hide" shirt @ 7:21, he was a cool dude

[@pamelaa5194]

I think one of the main reasons people don't talk to each other in public places is because of technology. People are too busy having FB conversations, texting or internet surfacing. Kind of sad to see what we've come to insofar as relationships are concerned.

[@Zara_Luna]

ttrue

[@glasgowafricanscociety5618]

thank you so much Lule

[@tubgtung1999]

living in a city where everyone is indifferent to everything, I hope I have the ability to spark some light on society and spread my care. The next thing I am going to ask is what can I do to overcome my anxiety

[@35Daniel]

Many indigenous people have community connections, reciprocal support and storytelling as a key part of their culture. Maybe it's time for all of us to connect deeper with those we are have as contacts and reach out to those we don't know?

[@martinbeco]

You know, life in towns and cities under 100,000 is like that. People know each other, and everyone has a place in the community. When you don't talk to your neighbors is because of a practical reason, like he loves Baseball, and you don't. Yet, everyone finds its niche. The larger the town, the more isolated you become. Your friends are usually far away, and you actually have to make an effort to see them. In little cities and towns, you know your neighbors and some of them are your friends. In a big city, you become much more choosy and you befriend people who share your ideas no matter how far they actually live.

[@didthatreallyjust]

Life is bigger then anyone person

[@_macita]

This is absolutely brilliant

[@AshleyTerryashleyterry001]

Powerful!

[@nicom4996]

I just couldn't disagree. I realized a few weeks ago how talking to strangers can change your life. And now I will make a promise to myself that I know that it will be tough to do but it will pay lot. My promise is : I will talk to a stranger that I see each day at school ( my locker neighbour).

[@darkmediatracks]

love this one very deep talk

[@samyish]

What about those with approach anxiety who may want to get to know other people but are too nervous to speak up first?

[@스텔-c6o]

see KZbin channel johnny berba. great inspiration. start just by saying hello to strangers

[@n0tett]

+Samy Ismael near everyone has "approach anxiety," you have to face it, then over time it will not become so difficult.

[@gordongekko2781]

+Samy Ismael I was the same, but I got over it with one simple technique: Stop concerning yourself with the outcome of the conversation. It is not your responsibility to say something brilliant in every conversation you initiate. Remember the person you're talking to is not grading your performance. Your goal should simply be to contribute some brief companionship to someone else. That's it. -- I hope that helps.

[@wingnutmcspazatron3957]

+Last Knight Well that helped me, for sure. Great wisdom!

[@KatBird27]

eventually someone will talk to you. go on a bus/train to work instead of driving alone. just smiling is a start.

[@GoodBoyFx]

this guy's mentality matches mine. I always wanted to do the same n feel if people take an extra step and reach out world will be a better place and we will be able to help eachother out and live fulfilling lives. I hope to do the same bring people together and make world a better place. It all starts with good ideas to put into action.

[@renleo2836]

After watching Mr Harris's intense facial expression, I felt he has a glare that would make anyone to talk to him, or fear of consequences.

[@789dude123]

Who'd say Dr.Bruce Banner would become such a great speaker after overcoming his anger issues.

[@stevedoetsch]

Best comment! Though his anger is still surging underneath in the speech...

[@AnjaFromMars]

His talk with his neighbours reminds me of "Extremely loud & incredibly close"

[@ankith6377]

This was amazing

[@sygb.550]

So.. hello strangers🙋 how was ur day ? Anything interesting happened?

[@nicknick7697]

+sanwo H. Hey. I'm awesome. Had a great day. How was yours?

[@sygb.550]

+nick junior so far so gd😊in middle of classes

[@nicknick7697]

School/uni?

[@sygb.550]

+nick junior uni💆

[@nicknick7697]

what are you studying?

[@AnikSardar]

That was really inspiring..

[@andrewsyouniverse1870]

Basically a 14 minute summary of "hello darkness my old friend"

[@angryleo]

Brilliant

[@SimonDamasse]

Outstanding speach

[@OowllwoO]

we comment, reply, ask, answer, talk about so many topics (big and small) online without worrying about the reaction of the addressee. Hope we do so in real life.. 'offline' life :#

[@sygb.550]

It's funny how it's incredibly easy to do so online but feels awkward in real life ..what happened to us xD

[@Reyeston007]

Stop yelling at me m8.

[@MaryDaze]

Inspiring to the nth. Love it!

[@jefferlondon1]

With strangers, we speak the greatest truth. More on how to improve dialogue in TEDx "Better Conversations for a Better World - Jeffer London"

[@namyalosusan6628]

Agreed

[@khodamoradmoradpour6251]

I loved it

[@suheti]

I just have this tremendous choking fear that my engagement in talking to anyone would be a waste of time to that person, and that person would soon grow tired and irritated by my talking style, my nervous expression and my vanity of mind.

[@stevedoetsch]

You're probably right. Better stay silent and live a miserable life without connection.

[@kxlot79]

I wonder how this attitude performed as a buffer for the craziness of 2020.

[@cybrfc5315]

Great. Thank goddess I live in a small town, where people are a lot less superficial.

[@robanks3895]

You should try living in London, they rarely make conversation with strangers. I grew up in the north of England where everyone speaks to each other and they don't care if they dont know you.

[@lalovelylenea]

Learn something valuable from everyone you meet 😁

[@passionateandloyal]

Beautiful :.)

[@davidgriffiths835]

if we all know everything & share everything...wheretheharm ? LIFEWASMEANTTOBE fun,SO,bythechoiceswemake,letsbringFUNbackinto LIFE.its what WE make IT. hatetoangon...we will get there...enjoytheride...

[@choudhary6964]

I want to talk to people around me but It makes me so anxious I meet people but i feel something is missing in between us, i feel I'm not good in talking to them, i feel they ignores me after i have started talking to them

[@antonp6917]

It's just about mutual gain. Unless this is so, don't bother. He only started this because of a realization of alienation leading to a panic attack.

[@brocklee691]

His profile made me think it was Dennis from Always Sunny, then i heard his voice.

[@t0onsmusic]

Are there more people who cannot access his website?

[@rebeccasmith9536]

Studs was a grest man!

[@behindthemasks]

yeaa but how do i start

[@icingcake]

Frankly I’m a female and not bothered by not meeting people but good for him. Gotta use your common sense.

[@zelieHEARNE]

that's cool!

[@lGalaxisl]

I know he's trying to sound powerfull an all, and his message is good. But he sounds kinda aggressive lmao

[@xhuyentran]

I think he sounds very passionate and a bit fustrated about hinself, because he didn't realised sooner.

[@MistaKasko]

Really? I personally thought this was one of the best speakers I've ever seen in my life, I was honestly surprised and was about to look up more of his speeches. I guess I understand the aggression to be passion.

[@saxologist1]

The man is simply disappointed at humanity. He speaks the truth.

[@weixuegoh6517]

hes too loud... its jarring to my ears..

[@tdoge]

Bruh you got volume control on your computer/phone

[@fergalcollins2196]

People don't talk any more because they watch too media. The protocol is only the mad talk and for this the society has become mad.! Sadly they are all so lonely.

[@durgeshgupta4213]

if you can talk, don't stop about good feeling. you have a power of making their day beautiful.

[@wiiliskaako5875]

i cant go stright to stranger and start tlking to , i have in my mind that when i start tlking to people they looke me down , just thats is the theory am holding , why not strangers came and say hi to me ,

[@Hosstor]

It is different in my country

[@FreyaGem]

This was fantastic- I can't believe all the naysayers commenting here- get a life, peel your face off of your iphone and go talk to a stranger!

[@patriciaantunes3652]

He looks angry!!! but great message though

[@crunk4124]

+Patrícia Antunes He looks more passionate he what he does than anything, which is totally respectable.

[@will2tao]

+crunk4124 i agree. Very passionate.

[@durgeshgupta4213]

thanks for the answer

[@FpsAizen]

I am the worst at conversations, I can say hello but I always choke what to say after and find it awkward :/

[@kevinp8108]

+Waka Mildon I love talking to strangers! This is what I do before I strike up a conversation with someone. Before I say something I choose a topic first. For example, when I'm in line at the grocery store, I'll notice something unique that the person in front or behind me is buying, so I'll ask about it. I'll say something like..."I noticed that you're buying quinoa. I've never had it before. How do you prepare it?" This will naturally lead into a conversation about quinoa where the stranger does most of the talking. To keep the conversation going, I just simply ask more questions. Hope this helps.

[@FpsAizen]

Cheers holmie

[@Markd4Comment]

As a native Washingtonian, I just SMH and think about the mental distance of white professionals who are here too short a time who don’t have this epiphany.

[@northcacalacka545]

Hey everyone, My name is Michael, how are you?

[@audreystraub7925]

northcacalacka545 Hi Micheal! im happily off work, today. how are you?

[@arhabersham]

audrey straub Hope you are doing fine, and enjoyed your day off :)

[@audreystraub7925]

Its been many a shift since my day off. This evening was truly discouraging. But im "trying" to stay positive and remember that there are better times ahead. A great work experience wouldnt be as great if i didnt have a night like this to compare it to....boo-hoo for me....i hope your night was better!!!

[@arhabersham]

audrey straub I can imagine! That's why I think is good to get our source of enjoyment not only from work, but from other sources too. What are your sources of enjoyment? feel free to mail me :)

[@northcacalacka545]

audrey straub I'm not real sure if you were talking to me Audrey, but, yea, not every night is a great one. You sound to me like your job is other than engaging. Remember, the only one who can make your day is you. If you wait on someone else to do it, you might be disappointed. If that entails you changing your job or starting your own business, then, do it. Have a great day!

[@cierrabrene]

This is the main reason I have panic attacks.

[@jetpowered1]

This is a new disconnected society, and I believe that's not a good thing.

[@Ivobe2]

We've turned into iphone gazing zombies, it disgusts me!

[@islandgirlxx3465]

IKR :(

[@blazearmoru]

How do you start a discussion with someone on the streets? O_o

[@Reyeston007]

Deez nuts. Works every time

[@dswagers808]

This is why I live in Hawaii ;) Aloha.

[@jackkempson8712]

Hey guys, some talk eh?

[@gold1erik]

Hello, how are you doing?

[@jevans1017]

*applause*

[@Salicath1]

He really looks like Jordan Belfort and Neil Caffrey

[@noahvandelinde4309]

is this Sam Harris's brother?

[@ralevdotcom]

I like the talk, but it was weird for me to understand that actually that many people are NOT doing this and they need a talk to wake up... :)