TOXIC FAMILY CONTROL: 12 WAYS OCPD TAKES CONTROL AND DOMINATES LIVES

Controlling people (or toxic family controllers) are difficult to manage.
Most people believe that controllers are evil, dominating people who want to harm others.
But the reality is that controlling people could be the product of a very toxic family dynamic where they have received years upon years of reinforcement.
Difficulty accepting that not everything will always go their way is often at the core of controlling people.
But research also suggests that controllers may be the product of a personality disorder that developed through years of reinforcement, lack of boundaries, and privilage.
A combination of environmental and biological factors collide to create the individual with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.
In this live chat, I discuss controlling people with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.
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#trauma #tamarahilllpc #TOXICFAMILY
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DISCUSSED IN THIS CHAT:
0:00 intro
2:25 OCD vs Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)
5:22 Obsessive-compulsive disorder (Obsession vs Compulsion)
8:32 narcissism can be connected to obsessive-compulsive personality disorder
16:40 WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE IN DAILY LIFE
34:04 desired control over EVERY little thing
38:33 WHAT CONTROLLERS ARE LIKE
44:12 HOW TO MANAGE THESE PEOPLE
*discussion in-between content
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Mentioned In The Video:
1. The psychology of offense www.sagu.edu/thoughthub/the-p...
2. Born to Choose: The Origins and Value of the Need for Control
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
3. It’s All About Control
www.psychologicalscience.org/...
4. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NB...
5. Interpersonal Functioning in Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
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Music:
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🎵 Track Info:
Epidemic Sound
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DISCLAIMER:
*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
If you or someone you know is having a medical emergency involving harm to self, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
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----Contact me-------(BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY)
I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 14 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
If you'd like to contact me or inquire about my international consultations, you may email me at [e-mail]. *Please note: all consultations are charged a fixed rate fee based on the case content.
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[@TherapistTamaraHill]

KZbin will make the VERY lively chatbox available to you in 12 hrs of this live chat ending. 😀 The best part!

[@justice8563]

I’m finally realizing how disturbed my family is. I came across a video about scapegoat family cult’s and believe that is what has happened to me and why I have always been treated as an indentured servant to my family. I have been treated as a outed member of the family since I returned to my home town 12 years ago. How dare I leave and come back and refuse their demands and control. It depresses me that every single one of my family members are toxic, controlling, vindictive, abusive and so much more. The things I have mentioned on your channel is just a snippet of what I’ve been put through, and it’s not only sad, but also disgusting and embarrassing because I allowed it for so long. Your channel has helped me put the last few pieces of the puzzle together. I can’t seem to find a support group or a therapists that understands narcissism in my area. I’m not on Facebook nor any other social media except KZbin, so it’s be difficult to find help. The therapists in my area seem’s to be more about couple therapy and not about Narcissism or Trauma. I cherish your followers in your chat. They come across so sweet and it feels safe when we all have so much in common with each other. I know that Deb wants to start a support group and I would love to be allowed to join when she does. It’s validating to know that what I have been put through and accused of has been nothing but them deflecting their toxicity, shame and hate on to me. Stepping back and really seeing and hearing the truth has been an eye opening experience, and I credit that to you, so Thank you Tamara.

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

My family tried to make me their scapegoat. They cant stand me because ive called out their toxicity and dysfunction since I was 15 years old. The last time I saw them was at my mothers funeral a couple years ago and when I got back home I decided I will never speak to them everrrr again.

[@truth4utoda]

My husband's family is this exact way. You can't speak, breathe, rest, etc. with these people.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I hate to say it but, yes, this is often their MO - modus operandi.

[@deeelle697]

You have no idea how helpful your videos are. Thank you so much for realistically & scientifically breaking things down.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

🤗You're welcome! So glad this is helpful to you.

[@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht]

Im a truth speaker and my family tried to make me their scapegoat but i refused it. Now they can argue with each other because im not the regulator or punching bag for demons emotions.

[@TheRetroWoman80]

You consistently help me deal with and identify things in some of my loved ones. Thank you, Tamara. My significant other has OCD among other things. She is DEFINITELY a perfectionist but thankfully not OCPD. I am compassionate toward her as you suggested but it is still a challenge dealing with that rigidity day to day. To get through it, I just remain grateful and remember that hers is at a moderate level, as yours is.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're weclome! And I'm so glad to hear that. There are some people, by the way, who can meet diagnostic criteria for both OCD and OCPD. That can be so very difficult for some families.

[@TheRetroWoman80]

@@TherapistTamaraHill I bet🫤

[@CradleofLifeSA]

Excellent session❤

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Thank you! 😊

[@truth4utoda]

❤love this!! Thank you lovely

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're so welcome!🤗

[@liagrigori]

Yes , my dad

[@LovelyFlipFlops-jl9kl]

Been dealing with other trying to control me for 40 years... nothing new.

[@fifilafleur5555]

My family cult…

[@MrDrudeezy]

The pancake-girl, is her name Paula? Actually, this is my co-parent partner, and our kids have no chance at normalcy. I think the worst their behavior, the more she controls my influence as a father So far, her malevolence is winning the influence.

[@ecohumanism]

it is certainly a good idea to clean your hands after touching handles in public places, But imo hand sanitizer is an overkill, it feels pungent and I am trying to not use it unless I can wash my hands afterwards, I would just use antibacterial wet wipes, and then put some cream on my hands and on the wheel. Still probably would not force anyone else to do what is comfortable to me

[@CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

Aw I missed it You did great with the names your getting it! 11:51 that one is said like A-NEW-BUS 50:28 ok so not everyone called narcissistic has narcissistic personally disorder. It is like OCD vs. OCPD NARCISSIST is a is a word on its own Definition of narcissistic: Personality qualities include thinking very highly of oneself, needing admiration, believing others are inferior, and lacking empathy for others. NPD has its own A disorder in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance. Narcissistic personality disorder is found more commonly in men. The cause is unknown but likely involves a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Symptoms include an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others' feelings, an inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement. The disorder needs to be diagnosed by a professional. Treatment involves talk therapy. 1 is an adverb the other has that quality as a symptom. But because people use both it gets confused. Most people don't mean npd. But the adverb came first and now we get attacked for useing it because it is assumed that we mean npd!!!! It is very hard om survivors to have this argument because it invalidates us It is not on the rise covid gave us time and independence to wake up from the nightmare that was our lives.

[@blklionz659]

🫰🏿🫰🏿🫰🏿

[@justice8563]

I’m finally realizing how disturbed my family is. I came across a video about scapegoat family cult’s and believe that is what has happened to me and why I have always been treated as an indentured servant to my family. I have been treated as a outed member of the family since I returned to my home town 12 years ago. How dare I leave and come back and refuse their demands and control. It depresses me that every single one of my family members are toxic, controlling, vindictive, abusive and so much more. The things I have mentioned on your channel is just a snippet of what I’ve been put through, and it’s not only sad, but also disgusting and embarrassing because I allowed it for so long. Your channel has helped me put the last few pieces of the puzzle together. It’s been so hard finding a support group or a therapists that understands narcissism in my area. I’m not on Facebook nor any other social media except KZbin, so it’s be difficult to find help. The therapists in my area seem’s to be more about interested in couple therapy and not about Narcissism or Trauma. I cherish your followers in your chat. They come across so sweet and it feels safe when we all have so much in common with each other. I know that Deb wants to start a support group and I would love to be allowed to join when she does. Just wanted to let you know how validating it is to know that what I have been put through and accused of, has been nothing but them deflecting their toxicity, shame and hate on to me. Stepping back and really seeing and hearing the truth has been an eye opening experience, and I credit that to you, so Thank you Tamara.