WHAT YOUR ABUSER DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW | Psychotherapy Crash Course

Abuse isn't always easy to spot.
Family abuse is even more difficult to spot.
You may feel bad about how someone is treating you, but can't pinpoint why they are doing this or why they can't see just how much they are affecting you.
In most cases involving abuse, abuse can stay hidden for many years because of how insidious it can be. Consider, for example, financial abuse. It isn't always easy to spot financial abuse because most people have money problems, most married couples share income, and there are no marks or bruises to prove the abuse is happening.
In this video, I discuss the various kinds of abuse you may have endured and give you a short lesson on the boundaries that often lead to being abuse.
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DISCUSSED IN THIS VIDEO:
0:00 intro
2:39 spiritual/religious abuse (with examples)
5:35 immigration status abuse
7:05 technological abuse (with examples) and #gangstalking
9:18 financial abuse
11:28 learn the boundaries you need to get away from abuse
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#trauma #tamarahilllpc #abuse #narcissisticabuse
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Mentioned In The Video:
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Music:
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🎵 Track Info:
Epidemic Sound
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DISCLAIMER:
*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
If you or someone you know is having a medical emergency involving harm to self, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
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----Contact me-------(BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY)
I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 14 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
If you'd like to contact me or inquire about my international consultations, you may email me at [e-mail]. *Please note: all consultations are charged a fixed rate fee based on the case content.
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[@TherapistTamaraHill]

If you'd like to read more about boundaries and the kinds there are, try this link for a therapy worksheet here: www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/boundaries-psychoeducation-printout

[@DeborahOlander]

I hope to change the lack of education in abuse. I believe abuse is at the core of so many mental illnesses that it is crucial to understand if you actually want to heal people.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

We need all the help we can get. Abuse is not as prevelant of a discussion as it needs to be.

[@wellingtonsboots4074]

Took me a month to find this, but thank you for talking about this. I went through school getting bullied and when i came home it was my mother's turn, she would often beat me or i had to listen to her telling me i was stupid. I'm 67 now and last year i was diagnosed with CPTSD. It's taken me so long to be told this and that only happened after i was hospitalised after my wife was beating me and psychologically abusing me just like my mother did. Now i'm divorced and trying to get it together and work things out

[@citizenkang2524]

What astounds me is the glut of wellness professionals who are clueless about abuse. My youngest niece, who's a psychologist, attempted to gaslight me about the Peyton Place pathology of abuse in my family until I was able to find out independently in mutual discard and no contact/no sociopath narcissist supply.

[@joelmckaig8923]

The abuser needs to have some severe consequences

[@bbdn5123]

Not even a whole minute has passed... Spoken so beautifully T ☝🏽🌌💖💫

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

🤗Thank you!

[@deborahedwards5004]

Rigorous boundaries Porous boundaries Healthy boundaries Wow! Learned something new! Thanks for sharing

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You're welcome! Thanks for watching.

[@M18118]

I’m so happy you are addressing these topics and bringing them to light.

[@user-cb3mc4js3c]

My stalker breaks the windows in my section 8 apt where, if I do not pay to have them fixed I'm threatened to be evicted. (I've received NUMEROUS eviction notices even though I have a permanent restraining order.) I've been forced to pay triple my rent to fix windows that my stalker has broken, leaving me unable to move, continuing to be gang stalked for 4 1/2 years now. I have not seen my children, grand children & family in almost 7 years! Prevented from getting medical care or help if any kind! Isolation, tried to catch me on fire, had me arrested 6 times, drugged me...giving me too much then telling my daughter I took too much intentionally on my 50th birthday to commit suicide! I DID NO SUCH THING! ..the list goes on! The crimes this person has/currently still commiting on me is horrendous! Having SURVEILLANCE in you apt, having PROOF of this, but still not receiving assistance? IS NOT RIGHT! IS NOT HUMAN! NO ONE ONE SHOULD BE FORCED TO LIVE THIS WAY! Someone please help me...

[@Elizabethpepper8]

I can provide an example. Religious abuse had the most devastating impact out of all the types, including CEN. My father would preach Matthew 24 to me obsessively. I was convinced the end times were occurring, and we would be beheaded. As a very young child I was terrified. Id keep watch outside the window, created a secret spot to hide for when it did happen- basically a six yesr old doomsday prepper. There were other things like mini exorcisms, being punished for wearing nail polish, going to the movies or mall, not allowed to go to dances, out for halloween, being forced to throw out things "not of god" lile the movie "All dogs go to heaven". My family is still religious and utilizes shame, guilt, fear, etc to control. I'm seen as a problematic, angry person because of all the issues I've had from the abuse. If I'd just accept God it would all away. I've realized religion is my family's way to cope, hide, and deny. I also believe my father to have scrupulosity OCD, PTSD

[@recoveringsoul755]

Had religious abuse by siblings and spouse. Honor your mother/husband. Their intention was to alter my behavior to suit themselves. I was already dealing with a horrible divorce. Did not have "extra time" to do their bidding. Already too much on my plate.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

When things like this are used to create submission, that's ignoring the purpose of these kinds of passages and turning them into controversial pieces to manipulate. It's sad when this happens.

[@recoveringsoul755]

@@TherapistTamaraHill yes both my husband used it trying to make me feel guilty for not doing whatever it was he wanted from me when I was only setting a boundary. And sister wanted me to feel guilty about not doing as she instructed in regards to our mother. Sometimes we need to look at the intentions of the person making the demands.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

I'm sorry. That's never an easy family dynamic.

[@citizenkang2524]

I know the feeling

[@citizenkang2524]

My best comeback for a hyper-abusive religious narcissist is, "When did you get saved? Because it didn't take now, did it."

[@Cat-sx6ep]

so true the abuse is difficult to handle.

[@DeborahOlander]

Sorry I missed the premier. I was out having a nice day with my kid. It was actually lovely! Yay.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Good for you!! That's great.

[@DeborahOlander]

@TherapistTamaraHill it was really nice to actually enjoy her. There we're no overt or covert acts of manipulation. Conversation was 90% her talking and me listening. So I'm a little tired. But definitely a nice day. Phew.

[@hadiza1]

Can't wait to watch this! They don't want you to know so much smh

[@hadiza1]

Technological abuse factssss!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Yes. And cyber stalking and cyber bullying fit this description too. Even being tracked online through apps and devices. These apps and devices are often installed by companies you may work for.

[@hadiza1]

Can't wait for this 😍🧡

[@mrbb.business7281]

That was really good, please add links to boundary information in the description. I want to read and share with a few friends.

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

You can learn more here www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/boundaries-psychoeducation-printout

[@janethomas78]

Tamara Makes sense and explains it WELL!! THANKS!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

😁 You're welcome! Thank you.

[@Elizabethpepper8]

I'm surprised you didn't mention Post-seperstion abuse given your speciality with PDs.

[@lsisak7651]

Spiritual abuse is rampant in the Church right now. It's safer to not attend unless you are in a safe church. The Holy Spirit is grieved over it for sure. 🕊️😢

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Well said!! Amen.

[@CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

@dima Munsiyari, Uttarakhand India

[@bridgettetraveler658]

U honor parents who are worthy of honoring. We must read the Bible for ourselves. We must know what abominations are & what is acceptable behavior in CHRIST. We can't allow religious devils to manipulate us with their lies & manipulations. GOD also said tithing, but not necessarily put the whole tenth in that one church. Our bodies are temples of the HOLY SPIRIT & not for some filthy person to put their hands on. We must know right from wrong!!!

[@TherapistTamaraHill]

Yes. Well spoken!! Agree. "U honor parents who are worthy of honoring. We must read the Bible for ourselves....our bodies are temples of the HOLY SPIRIT and not for some filthy person to put their hands on. We must know right from wrong...."

[@citizenkang2524]

The Bible also says that parents must give children examples worthy of honoring.

[@reg8297]

My mother destroyed my life with abuse I lost 50 years of my life I lost my health I lost my hair I absolutely hate my mother for the horrific evil she did to me I've died inside my confidence is gone n all I feel is hatred for this woman