Tank Files: The Bob Semple - "The Best Tank Ever Built"

[@kkhagerty6315]

The reason the Bob semple tank was disassembled is because it was too much of a threat in a post war world

[@bojunchoi6354]

not the nuclear arsenal rights, bob semple rights

[@pjnoonan1423]

A nuke would probably not even damage the Bob Semples frontal bren gun, even if it was in the epicenter of the blast. Objectively speaking, that is.

[@mikael5544]

In The wrong hands i could destroy The universe

[@jbmst1450]

When Thor was asked what kind of weapon he wanted and he replied with “The Thanos killing kind.” he was actually talking about the Bob Semple, except when he realised that they were all disassembled he had to resort to Stormbreaker

[@MasouShizuka]

Yeah it'll put another problem in the cold war after too. Two nuclear armed nations will have no answer to the Bob Semple.

[@theimperialyank]

Top 10 tanks not even Rommel would challenge in the field #1- The Bob Semple

[@hammarr]

Bob Semple approves.

[@thotttie]

#2 tsar tank

[@thotttie]

#3 panther cause it’s transmission would break before he made it to the field

[@a.hauptmann8798]

Thotttie Panther M10 is better

[@thotttie]

True

[@bmazin1377]

30,000 German tanks lost in ww2 0 Bob Semple Tanks in lost in ww2 Bob Semple > Every German Tank

[@LorisNoKami]

In any other situation, I'd see stats like that as obviously hacked. I don't question these for minute. Only reason it wasn't higher is Hitler made the first good tactical decision in years to eat a bullet before the Bob Semple got there.

[@jnb_110]

*You guys have no idea how many Soviet tanks were lost in WW2.* *So Bob Semple > Every Soviet tank.*

[@croisaor2308]

Führer des Benutzers German tanks. Over 5 years of experience and improvements along with countless different models operating in different climates and filling every role necessary. Vs An oversized Pacific tractor. I think it’s fairly obvious why the Germans lost.

[@substerriblecomments]

The only way to win is not to fight -

[@LorisNoKami]

@Einar Figueras Obviously after a kick ass build up sequence of the Bob Semple slowly rolling up to the city of Berlin all slow and cool like Clint Eastwood, but if he was made out of God and also was a tank even the wind itself dares only blow a tiny billow of dust past his tracks before the panicked, desperation of a very grave mistake was made getting as far away from what it knows is coming right fucking now. When you've got the meteorological forces of nature that weaves storm systems to wipe out coastlines for its own amusement... Well... You're the Bob Semple tank. (We have yet to create a single analogy that could be used in place of the basic description) "There's a dirty gang low-life, good for nothin' scumbags I been lookin' for and I reckon this is where I'll find them yeller bastards", Bob Semple drones out in a tone so low it could be heard by Lucifer himself, down below deepest mantle, the abyssal plains upon whixh rests Hell; and the righteous fury those words had locked within their intent, would have only been notice to a master of the craft. Lucifer slowly took to his tracks... (Yes of course, Lucifer is also a Bob Semple Tank in this story. He's the fucking Morningstar, the first and greatest among God's children and the only being to ever stand up, eye to eye and question him as his equal... and somehow wasn't completely wiped from existence. What else could he possibly be for that to even be possible? I REST MY CASE) humbled into a trepidation that silenced even the furthest echoes of the choir; the extacy of their retribution given a moment pause. Lucifer allowed of himself a single smirk and like a devastating wave crashing through was the crescendo again filling his halls with their beautiful, terrible symphony. Throwing open the blackened gates the Devil steeled himself at the threshold, and rallyed unto him every nightmare and depravity from across the twisted kingdom. "Subjects; Degerenates; Friends. We'll be entertaining some very distinguished guests tonight; and long overdue are they to our famous hospitality" And as Berlin herself shook before the sun set against the distant horizon, and fell with it the last light she would know for quite some time. "Oh, I reckon I'll find 'em. And when I find 'em, there's gonna be a reckonin' " Bob Semple Tank rolled in. I had way too much fun writing this and I hope whoever took the time to read it got some of the sort of whimsical joy found in the inherent silliness of the world that led to the things like the Bob Semple Tank actually existing. Only human beings could have had entirely serious people, using serious government funding for weapons development in response to some of the worst wartime and acts of inhumanity that we have ever been faced with... could roll out with the Bob Semple Tank. No matter how much darkness can be found within us, we always carry a little light somewhere along with it. It's always enough to push the darkness back no matter how small it might seem to be, and as long as we choose to hold onto it we can light the way for each other. Good only stops existing when we stop believing it does. And I believe in the Bob Semple Tank.

[@iatsd]

Now, to put this in context - It was built by the Ministry of Works. Why? Because they were the only ones that came close to having the equipment to build it. NZ had no ability to produce armour. They could not make engines. Of any kind. They could not weld heavy steel. They could produce steel up to 10mm suitable for train boilers - just - and that's where the Ministry of Works came in because they were responsible for building the railway system. They couldn't make rail car beds or wheels as the casting and quality was beyond their industry at the time. They couldn't build the tractors they used for the BS tank, nor the Bren guns. The fact they managed to make this *at all* is genuinely amazing. But you know what it did do? It gave them experience and understanding to then set up/build sufficient heavy industry to start turning out Universal Carriers ~18 months later.

[@SgtMjRomero]

Pretty poggers going from the Bob Semple to setting up heavy industry

[@Roketsune]

Wow, I had no idea NZ was so utterly unindustrialized. Even the Confederacy had heavy industry 80 years prior. What the fuck, were they all farmers over there?

[@Roketsune]

Also, it's sad that now the population doesn't even have firearms now. They went from Semple to disarmed and unable to even field an infantry militia now.

[@iatsd]

@@Roketsune You might want to get a new info source if you think the NZ population was disarmed or has ever fielded a militia.

[@deadwing7051]

@@iatsd The NZ militias and volunteer corps (see Forest Rangers, Militia Ordinance 1845) make up a massive part of our early history. As for disarmament, while certainly not disarmed, there is a concerted anti-firearm effort from both the current government and many former governments in the late 20th and early 21st century. The New Zealand of today has very little in common with its pioneering settlers.

[@herpderpherpd]

The Kiwis never needed a tank to inspire them in battle, or to strike fear into the enemy. All you need is some bloke at the back yelling "KA MATE KA MATE! KA ORA KA ORA!"

[@kolamoose8717]

herpderpherpd that’s why it was so bare bones all you gotta do is get a guy to the front line

[@bradleymasters1456]

My grandfather fought with the 29th mixed, he could pick up a man w one hand, earned a police commendation after the war for saving a officer on duty who had gotten caught in a fight, granddad was 50-51. XD the policeman was only a young fella.

[@fiendish9474]

@@kolamoose8717 hm so i guess that makes the bob semple an APC?

[@AlexWithington]

@@fiendish9474 get rid of the a because it's not armour it's a barrier to for protect them from the tanks contents

[@Roketsune]

What the fuck does that mean?

[@ThePppp89]

Its K/D ratio is so good it's mathematically impossible.

[@diegoantoniorosariopalomin4977]

0/0 (kind of ) equals Infinity

[@bigfattank101]

@Jonathan Stiles lim h->0 n/h is infinity if n/=h (not equal).However, lim h->0 h/h is 1 (if it wasnt we wouldn't have calculus) you could say 0/0 is best represented as 1. But to be fair you did mess up the moment you defined something as n/0 and not a limit

[@bigfattank101]

@@jackchristian9854 yeah, yeah. Maybe I failed one to many calc midterms and wanted to feel smart again.

[@SaltineChips]

I gave you 777 likes. Stay lucky

[@Shoxic666]

literally nobody has ever beaten one sooooo

[@Bokoen1]

Such a beautiful creation

[@monkofdarktimes]

Indeed bo indeed

[@bigredeyes8063]

Bokoen hello

[@rch5395]

This tank is even worse then the tigger 2

[@austinadams617]

Join tommykay's rise to power Bo

[@thelvadam2375]

Denmark isn't real!

[@corrosiv3]

>Australian >Swims to New Zealand >Sees bob semple >Swims back

[@loganjustlogan8367]

No. The Bob SEMPLE snipes you from 3.4 km away before you can start swimming back.

[@Number1Irishlad]

@@loganjustlogan8367 before you even see it

[@Number1Irishlad]

@Meme Police before everything at all, there was one thing: the bob Semple. The signilarity before the big bang? The barrel of one of the bob semple guns. The bang itself? One shot fired from said canon

[@atorichannel4558]

@@Number1Irishlad even before the bob semple tank THERE WAS BOB SEMPLE TANK!

[@stefangliguroski7756]

Wait How do australians swim upside down??? your comment makes no logic

[@luckyassassin1]

Boys and girls we know what must be done: we must start a fund to rebuild a bob semple tank

[@FLMKane]

just find a tractor, a welder and an unopened american gun safe

[@captainsponge7825]

@@FLMKane and some shitty-quality metal to use as an armor.

[@Carmalwise76]

It really wouldn't be that hard

[@luckyassassin1]

@@Carmalwise76 well I live in Wisconsin, so i have all the parts literally just sitting outside. Not my stuff but it's still there

[@danieltobin4498]

Are you mad? The world isn’t ready! No one man should have all that power!

[@lentlemenproductions770]

“...with one of them eventually seeing some service in the pacific” Excuse you? You’re just gonna leave that one hanging?

[@lunaticfringe8066]

It was explained that the Semple was returned back to its original tractor configuration, just plowing roads and air strips.

[@worldcomicsreview354]

Well we're not all speaking Japanese or German rght now, are we?

[@VioIetShift]

I'm a New Zealander who just moved to Germany. I am surrounded by amazing engineering and technology. The hobby stores are filled with models of Leopard 2A6 and Tiger tanks. Saw this video. Patriotism swells.

[@foximacentauri7891]

Germans make good tanks, but no one can defeat a God.

[@Dennis-2000]

German engineering and technology is literally not that impressive, yes the made some great progress during the war but wehraboos hyped it into space. Basically every tank after the panzer IV was to big and too complicated.

[@oliverfelsobuky8977]

@@Dennis-2000 guess who supplied the Chinese their high speed railways let me help you Germany. The agricultural automation comes from the Netherlands. The 3 main countries of industrial automation are Germany, Sweden and Japan the Chinese are nowhere near in these sectors. Germany was the country which laid down the bases of the 4th industrial revolution.

[@Dennis-2000]

@@oliverfelsobuky8977 mate the 4rd wave of industrial revolution is about cyber physical systems, networks etc we are not talking about that are we? This is about the ww2 mentality the germans had. Also America is one of the biggest contributors to cyber physical systems

[@oliverfelsobuky8977]

@@Dennis-2000 you were the one who were talking about China and this century first of all. By the way you are right about the German tanks of ww2 but I am on a different opinion I think the main problem with the German tanks were over complicated and hard to manufacture expecially with an idustry under frequent bombings by the allies and the Russians.

[@largestella7996]

Japanese General: NEW ZEALAND WILL BE OURS, THEY ARE NO MATCH FOR US! Japanese Soldier: General, you might want to see this... (Soldier hands the general a telescope) Japanese General: What do we have to be scared o.... (Sees hoards of mad Kiwis and tractors covered in corrugated iron coming towards them) Japanese Soldier: What is it, Sir? Japanese General: Gentlemen, it's been an honour...

[@Weetbix1969]

trouble is it is not corrugated iron it's actually Spaced Sloped Slat Armour and bob semple could potentially be credited with its invention as i can find no examples of this type of armour being used before then.

[@chefboyardee2223]

I mean they are better than the japanese tanks anyway

[@CakeryKay]

Banzaii!!!

[@greenvoodoo8366]

*Lunches Kamikaze attack for one Bob semple

[@lastswordfighter]

That’s not even their a game. Japan would have been done for if it had to fight the emus.

[@parkermiddleton1028]

I fear no man, but that thing, it scares me.

[@waffles6280]

you got the quote wrong "I fear no man, but that thing. It scares me"

[@jackw.5000]

Matt from Wii Sports I thought that Matt had no fear. I guess something as formidable as the Bob Semple tank can strike fear in even the strongest of men in this century.

[@mikael5544]

😈

[@jbmst1450]

The entire military force of the allies < Bob Semple Be afraid, be very afraid.

[@bird5797]

Bob semple tank oh god plz go away

[@nikolai60]

Trying to be serious, consider: Japanese forces were almost all infantry on land, tanks were rare and artillery often showed up later for defense. With 6 mgs this thing is a lawnmower of death to infantry. It can't be outflanked, and if angled can get 4 guns concentrated at a target area. Yeah, it won't do well against other tanks, but that wouldn't have been a WoT match, most of what it could face were other tiny tanks with only one or two mgs. Crap doesn't matter if the one thing it can do is what you need it to.

[@bigbobtank1563]

So Infantry

[@nikolai60]

​@@bigbobtank1563 Rather than get into a 'this vs that' competition, I'd just point out how many tanks were designed to do a job and did it well (like terrorize infantry), and found something else to do when enemy tanks showed up.

[@DS-tv2fi]

Big bob Tank So by this RPS logic infantry beats the Ha-Go.

[@whattawhaddaya6561]

*cough* Anti tank *cough*

[@DS-tv2fi]

Some Guy Does anyone know how much AT the Japanese had in WWII?

[@zacharywilson3176]

As a proud Kiwi I feel extra patriotic learning we made a tank.

[@loah_1]

"a bunch of pissed off Kiwis coming to rip your eyes out" sums up our people if you anger them fairly well I think

[@fiendish9474]

@@loah_1 can kiwi birds fly? If they can that makes it all the more terrifying

[@AlexWithington]

@@fiendish9474 nope they don't have wings they are ground dwellers like the rest of us pour sods but yea dont piss us kiwis off because we do bite

[@chrisgould101]

I wish to weld the bob semple to a plane , attach missiles and pilot the bob senple . Flying fortress has nothing on this

[@AlexWithington]

@@chrisgould101 would never happen the caterpillar tractors they used are super heavy but if we loaded one into a Superfortress we could drop it into combat like a combo of a bomb and a drop pod

[@StaleBaguette]

Virgin tiger I vs chad Bob

[@mrwehraboo5478]

The virgin maus vs the chad bob semple

[@justinbeath5169]

@@mrwehraboo5478 the virgin ratte versus the chad bob

[@ytho6448]

The virgin KV2 vs the chad Bob Semple.

[@kaybevang536]

If Chad Bob And Kv2 had a son together?

[@krosskreut3463]

@@kaybevang536 chad bob with 6 152 mm autocannons

[@stephenealferez5226]

Its a joke until bob saves the universe from thanos

[@DrDerp-bd8hd]

Everybody gangsta until Bob pulls out the tractor

[@LoneWulfHunter]

Lol both of you

[@grizzly7455]

As a New Zealander. Thank you.

[@PotentialHistory]

Underrated allied power, fought long and hard in both wars on multiple fronts. The NZ forces need to be remembered more.

[@grizzly7455]

@@PotentialHistory Well, thats what happens when you're isolated to a very small country away from everyone else. We've done quite a lot of cool stuff. Absolutely ruined Britain in the Battle of Gate Pā We Captured the First German General in Tobruk. Had the RAF's first Ace. Wiped out 80% of the German 7th Flying Divison in Crete Had God Influence His Holiness Bob Semple (Praise be unto his name) Create the fiercest tank ever devised by man Prevented the Australians Delta Company 6RAR from being entirely wiped out in the Battle of Long Tan (105 Australians and 3 New Zealand Artillery coordinators against roughly 2,500 Vietcong, With Monsoon rains, The Australians only suffered 16 killed where as the Vietcong suffered roughly 245 Officially confirmed, 350 presumed)

[@PotentialHistory]

@Jimmy Gully I hope I pronounced it right haha

[@haydeninglis2237]

@@PotentialHistory As a new Zealander I would like to put forward some information. Here we have a comedian called Te Radar. He quite often does New Zealand history shows about weird stuff we get up to. One episode he made was on Bob Sample. At the end of the episode it shows a small version of the tank that his dad made in a mock battle with some kids. There is a steaming service we use in New Zealand. To sign up for an account is free. It's episode 2 safety first. Please enjoy www.tvnz.co.nz/shows/te-radars-chequered-past

[@maykay.jaykayman9647]

​@@grizzly7455 Along with a legend being awarded the Victoria Cross twice and much much more...............

[@johnpatterson8697]

3:25 "the Tank was extremely slow, due to it being a modified tractor powered bu a 6 cylinder 127 horsepower diesel engine" *"GET FIVE CAR ENGINES AND PUT'EM TOGETHER"*

[@obiwankenobi4252]

THE REAR GUNNER WONT FIT *PUT HIM SIDEWAYS*

[@frenchsoldier8485]

RADIO'S NO GOOD

[@Number1Irishlad]

@@frenchsoldier8485 JUST USE TELEPATHY

[@frenchsoldier8485]

@@Number1Irishlad Wrong answer, to gulag

[@Number1Irishlad]

@@frenchsoldier8485 bold of you to assume im not already there b/c i telepathically heard you thinking of sending me to Gulag

[@claypidgeon4807]

*Top 10 characters that could defeat Thanos in seconds, even with the Infinity Gauntlet*

[@TheCarDemotic]

*Things**

[@nathanjora7627]

Trabant P601 **characters* Don’t insult the machine spirit, you heretic.

[@carterlastname6218]

Top ten what do you mean. Only the bob semple tank could defeat Thanos.

[@chivinsrikumpol9621]

@@carterlastname6218 no it can't

[@billyelliot4141]

Ah no 1 my coq

[@Danspy501st]

Bob Semple: "I didnt see any others else coming up with any ideas" That most be the sickest burn in history. Holy darn

[@simonmorris4226]

Fair play to him for that!

[@worldcomicsreview354]

Up there with the great Spartan "If..."

[@maxavallone7510]

100th like

[@danielmunoz2220]

I'm a simple man, I see a Bob Semple video, I like it.

[@hammarr]

Analia Red ❤️

[@RemoveBolshevik]

You could say you are a *SEMPLE* man

[@GlamStacheessnostalgialounge]

+athe lightz Don't worry, he beat me to it as well.

[@RemoveBolshevik]

@@GlamStacheessnostalgialounge Ahhh don't worry mate it was a *SEMPLE* mistake

[@Romax-pg2is]

The Bob Semple tank is basically the first ever version of the Killdozer

[@ebinecksdee9872]

Tread On Them

[@randomstranger_3]

@Romax 24245 "Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things" - Marvin Heemeyer 2004 Oh man, when you mentioned that monstrosity, all I remember is this quote from that person. For those of you who didn't know, the Killdozer was one of the prime definitions of DESTRUCTION. During the Killdozer Rampage, no one was hurt miraculously but the damage, ohhh man, was estimated to be $7 Million in total. Police can't do shit about this monster, SWAT have no idea how to stop this, and the governor at that time was considering on authorizing the use of ATTACK HELICOPTER equipped with a HELLFIRE MISSILE or a two-man fire team equipped with a JAVELIN MISSILE but decided against it because the Killdozer incident was reaching its end and it might've caused unnecessary damages if they were deployed. Killdozer was stucked in a hardware store and due to engine failures, it stopped moving. He then takes his own life and that should be the end of it but I say that if this beast was deployed in WWII, the Japanese might've shit their pants seeing this bad boi.

[@WasatchGarandMan]

Killdozer Man did nothing wrong

[@bkjeong4302]

@@randomstranger_3 Given that it actually had steel-concrete composite armour it might have been capable of dealing with smaller German vehicles.

[@joemire]

@@randomstranger_3 the video says "the best tank ever made" but it says in Simple History "the worst tank ever made"

[@stormyprawn]

1 main gun in most tanks 6 main guns in the Bob Semple Bob Semple > Every tank ever Edit: Yes this is a ½ copy and ½ original

[@thyme1483]

Monsieur Pepe I still love it

[@JakeTheTankmaster]

*M50 Ontos left the chat*

[@Enzo012]

That's 360 degree coverage of fully automatic instantaneous firepower on all sides.

[@clausroquefort9545]

T-35 has 5 machineguns and 3 cannons

[@clausroquefort9545]

@@vanlocphan3051 yeah, dropping a bob semple from the stratosphere is not an act of desparation, it's dropkicking the enemy

[@drosera88]

Could you imagine what New Zealand would have come up with if they designed a battleship? It'd probably be four Bob Semple tanks bolted to a wooden raft and a couple of outboard motors at the back.

[@DepthofMart]

Simple history: The WORST tank ever Potential history: The BEST tank ever 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@anddrom6853]

You saw his video first?

[@DepthofMart]

Uhhhh *jumps out window*

[@Number1Irishlad]

@@DepthofMart ye cannot escape the wrath of BOB SEMPLE *semple tank crashes out of the same window, all guns alight blasting at you*

[@falador4501]

tHe BeSt TaNk EvEr

[@sernoddicusthegallant6986]

The Duality of Man

[@georgiosalexandroschatzipe8639]

It is believed that the US helped japan by nuking the bob semples that were decimating the japanese cities of nagasaki and hiroshima, thus creating an alliance that holds until today

[@claypidgeon4807]

Sure they’d survive, but they’d also get catapulted into space to torment some other planet... for now...

[@NinjaAO42]

@@claypidgeon4807 No. The Semples left willingly because the Japanese were unworthy opponents. They used the nuke to propell themselves into space to search for worthy opponents

[@claypidgeon4807]

Thus were born the Infinity Stones. Thanos was but a failed project to generate a worthy opponent, but sadly the Gauntlet’s Uru metal just couldn’t hold up against the original corrugated Cassowary beaks of the original Bob Semple Infinity Stone mounting.

[@joso5681]

@@claypidgeon4807 This would be an interesting mod for hoi4

[@screamsinrussian5773]

@@NinjaAO42 I must go now, my planet needs me

[@hammarr]

10/10 at least one KZbinr respects me.

[@Masada1911]

Bob Semple the rest just fears your awesome power

[@hammarr]

Brandon Whitehurst I have had this account for over 2 years. Thanks though.

[@hammarr]

Brandon Whitehurst so, what are you saying? I’ve had my account for longer? Or... what? You didn’t really say.

[@hammarr]

Brandon Whitehurst Oh wait, I get it now. My apologies, I didn’t know there was another. If you would like me to change my user that would be ok.

[@hammarr]

Brandon Whitehurst So would you like me to change my username? I’d be happy to.

[@MathMasterism]

Some idiot: "The Bob Semple is the worse tank ever made!" Italy: "Hold my beer."

[@somerandomchannel4046]

Nah, "Hold my pasta" is what Italy would say.

[@moisesezequielgutierrez]

Atleast Italy's Tank are ABLE to penetrate some other Tanks unlike Bob SHITple, all they have is a bunch of Machineguns stuffed at every direction of the Tank, it can only kill soldiers, but not Tanks

[@nukclear2741]

@@moisesezequielgutierrez Japanese tankettes were downed by basic rifles.

[@CaptainGrief66]

@@nukclear2741 A "basic rifle" of the day is the equivalent of a modern designated marksman's rifle, if you get close enough (100m or less) everything from a French MAS36, Italian M38 Carcano, Russian M91/30 *_will_* go through the 30mm of armour something like a Type 94 Te-Ke would've had.

[@eaglefighter1295]

@@CaptainGrief66 Yes. A basic rifle.

[@WalkerBulldog19]

Bob Semple vs King Tiger Bob Semple: Looks at Tiger Tiget: Explodes

[@ivanwrsong4792]

Doubt the king ever made it out of the factory without being carried.

[@chivinsrikumpol9621]

You made a mistake it should be tiger looks at Bob bob explodes

[@elsopas8967]

You mean tig *ER*

[@icancraftsomething]

T I G E T

[@whitefrosting3111]

Doing my country proud

[@VanBurenOfficial]

At Arthur pass there was this guy who's trying to hustle, but I was like nah, but then I realized that I should have let him hustle me, because by hustling me, he would have hustled us all, and that's a win for New Zealand, long live the queen.

[@dxmachinanz7426]

But not the only tank NZ designed

[@nuclearreactor395]

Simple history- BOB SEMPLE TANK-WORST TANK EVER BOB SEMPLE TANK- Am I a joke to you? POTENTIAL HISTORY- not to me!

[@5PBox]

it's so strong war thunder wouldn't even add it, it would one shot Abrams

[@anthonyhovens7488]

Im half expecting war thunder or world of tanks to add my countries greatest creation as an overpowered top teir tank on aprill fools.

[@yourfriendlyneighborhoodli3559]

The mighty Bren guns can shred an Abrams in 4 seconds

[@jorekeishi952]

It would b to OP for Warthunder. What are we talking about? BR 80.5?

[@Adeline-fm]

@@jorekeishi952 br 11.

[@emirdiegomontes6411]

Hopefully this one gets "unneeded buff" and make it extremely imbalanced

[@whyareyougay4630]

Britain: **start sending tanks to new Zealand** Bob Semple tank: Change da world, my final message, goodbye

[@siyacer]

Other way around

[@5threpublic912]

Britain's tanks were so outdated compared to the Bob Semple, 1 Bob Semple could outgun the entire British Tank force and kill it easily

[@chameimaryu]

So judging by the intro, Tiger operators have small pp's while Bob Semple operators have big long pp's

[@loganjustlogan8367]

No. No long. Tall.

[@AzureScintillae]

Bob semple crew has big ass balls that they need the size of a bob semple

[@niero4201]

Mate, not saying it got anything to do with dicks, but Bob Semple was 100% us under-compensating god make other countries feel like they have a chance.

[@tramlink8544]

its why the gunner has to lay on mattress due to the sheer weight of his balls

[@smackbackgaming9861]

Bren gun pp’s

[@teganolds]

Imagine your a japanese soldier on the front line , your a little nervouse but your well trained and then you just see dousens of bob semples emerging fom the enemy line in all their glory

[@theomnissiah-9120]

Tegan Hall and then burst into flames because a rife bullet goes through the front armour

[@teganolds]

@@theomnissiah-9120 not even a bullet,just a particularly sharp rock

[@Its_shiki_time4876]

Ok being realistic here its armor is steel a rifle bullet won't break it

[@OrkBoss]

To be honest, to the regular soldier, the Bob Semple would probably scare them. But New Zealand was going to be dealing with Imperial Japanese soldiers, known to be fearless to their enemies. They Banzi Charged American positions even if the battle was lost, so I don't think they would back down.

[@donjones4719]

Realistically a problem for them. The Bob Semple armor was proof against any Japanese infantry small arms. From what little I know, Japanese amphibious landings included few if any tanks. And any that landed would be those little light ones, albeit their main gun would take out the Bob Semple - if the two met, which was far from certain is such a scenario.

[@TexasBoy13]

I came in my pants when i saw the notification

[@jorji6645]

It bled for me

[@essex3777]

My stones dropped for this.

[@phantomdoge7112]

ME TOO, THIS MAKES US BFFFFS

[@nuclearreactor395]

The real question here is, who didn’t?

[@idonotlikeboats9328]

Good I thought you’d forgot them

[@hazardtrooper2791]

“One of them eventually seeing service in the pacific” What, did the kiwis take out the bren guns and use them in the Phillipines

[@sneakysnake7695]

Good one

[@laurencefraser]

Sounded like the Tractor was used in the Pacific after the tank kit was removed from it. Not sure if that was what was intended.

[@kyleterry5190]

Prolly in new guinea

[@justarandomsovietofficerwi2023]

Worse. Imagine angry Peenoise piloting the Bob Semple. *The Japanese would shit their pants.*

[@Battleship009]

"It was only one tank." "One?...Are you sure?" "Yes, they called it the Bob Semple."

[@DS-tv2fi]

Battleship009 “The bogeyman?” “The bob semple tank isn’t the bogeyman. It’s who we send to KILL the bogeyman.”

[@Battleship009]

@@DS-tv2fi YOu don't know what I ripped it from do you?

[@DS-tv2fi]

Battleship009 No, but my quote fits the Bob Semple’s power.

[@Battleship009]

@@DS-tv2fi Halo 2 opening scene with some word changes.

[@DS-tv2fi]

Battleship009 Hal 2? What’s that?

[@Qwompus]

Now I know what you're probably thinking. *Hot damn, this thing sounds awesome.*

[@Crowbarius]

Hello there.

[@matthewkim7962]

@@Crowbarius *General Kenobi*

[@sparrow3439]

Semple tank with a forgotten weapons cameo 👌🏻

[@ianperry4768]

Thought the same thing. Also, nice pfp.

[@Activated_Complex]

The most survivable tank ever built. Not a single one was ever lost in combat.

[@Modsplayers]

Woooosh

[@jonnyc429]

Oof

[@kilosbyte415]

the boss woooosh

[@zwillia.s1432]

boss woooooosh

[@tisFrancesfault]

@@OrkBoss sooo, you're saying the Bob semple was such a threat to the Japanese that it's sheer existence was enough to deter the might of the Imperial army, without firing a shot? Man the semple was a truly impressive machine!

[@bigmeme8464]

Accurate title and intro lmao 10/10

[@williamtecumsehsherman520]

Change this title into "Bob Semple:The Sexiest tank ever existed"

[@aulianizar2599]

"You see gentlemen, sometimes modern problem required modern solution." "But sir, i don't think that's a solution"

[@jasonvanhorn5923]

As a born kiwi myself I speak for all of my country saying Thank-You. -One free Bob semple pass

[@javimoreno2224]

I fear no man But that thing scares me

[@riotbreaker3506]

I don- I don't think that's a man.

[@TheTankerPilotMERC]

@@riotbreaker3506 ever played TF2 ? Bcos its a TF2 reference.

[@riotbreaker3506]

@@TheTankerPilotMERC well, duh.

[@TheTankerPilotMERC]

@@riotbreaker3506 kzbin.info/www/bejne/jYbLgKGObdanaas

[@magscorch7706]

One can only wonder what goes on behind that mask...

[@chitaumoua2396]

You can say bob had a simple tank

[@eamonnprunty]

Chitau Moua STOP

[@chitaumoua2396]

@@eamonnprunty what?

[@eamonnprunty]

Chitau Moua the joke was trash😂

[@serubyne57]

And it was covered by _simple_ history?

[@chitaumoua2396]

@@serubyne57 meh

[@helbent4]

Ah, I don't think you need an eccentric billionaire to build a replica. Maybe a thousand-aire. 1) 1x 1964 D-8 Tractor $15999. 2) 55 square metres of corrugated siding ($20 per sq. m.) = $1100 3) 6x Bren guns ($1500 ea.) = $9000 Total = USD $26099. (NZD $40116).

[@Verpal]

To reach true bob semple quality, just find cheap and strong tractor of no name brand lying in the back of grandpas farm for last two decade, grab thrown away construction corrugated steel and employ some AA and flex tape, get 6 cheap chinese knock off machine gun and voila a true Bob semple.

[@helbent4]

@@Verpal I'm going to push back a little. The D-8 wasn't a no-name brand, it was made by Caterpillar and was (and is) the Toyota Camry of heavy equipment. But yeah, cheap and reliable. I guess everything else you say is true! But whichever tractor you use needs a long front engine compartment for some poor sod gunner to lie on.

[@Verpal]

@@helbent4 Why modify your tank when you can just hire smaller gunner? And Caterpillar is too good, I need to ask you to use cheaper tracker else it will be too fast.

[@FokkeWulfe]

I'm going to make this official. If i ever have the funds, I'm going to rely on you to source the material, I'll pay for it, well get a Bob Semple up and moving.

[@Ice_elite]

you forgot the mattress that one lucky crew member got to use I think it was located about the actual tractor

[@samsadowitz1724]

6:13 "or someone with tank building know how could recreate it" Have you even heard of the killdozer? That thing was fit for combat using a machine shop.

[@Zorro9129]

God bless Heemeyer and God bless Sky King, they knew it was better to live one day as a lion rather than for decades as a sheep.

[@hambonesmithsonian8085]

3:03 Good my son, you have acknowledged gun Jesus. This video is blessed

[@tylermarshall639]

You beat me

[@ericbrown175]

Holy smoke be with you

[@salt_factory7566]

*LINDYBEIGE BURSTS THROUGH THE DOOR* kzbin.info/www/bejne/r2HMfJiZbZurrM0 *!!!!THE HUNDRED YEARS WAR IS A MYTH, THE MG42 WAS THE WORST GUN EVER MADE, KATANAS ARE USELESS, THE NORMANS ARE NOT FRENCH!!!!*

[@herpderpherpd]

Also, Bren footage at 303. Good shit.

[@leoburton6687]

Dear history nerds, You're welcome Cheers fellas, -New Zealand

[@weir-t7y]

Making history again

[@rcpwProductions]

My grandfather drove in this and he said to me "I'm not your grandfather" His final words still touch me today

[@thekinginyellowmessiahofha6308]

Finally, a tank that gives enemy infantry A fair fight. No more impenetrable armor! With this it’s a battle of skill.

[@DeasExtra]

maus"im the the stronggest tank" bob semple"wasup" white flag coming out from maus cupola

[@TuShan18]

I agree that it's not entirely fair to make fun of New Zealand even though they didn't have the production capacity of other nations. They realized the situation looked very bad, but they knew they had very limited materials for mobilization. You have to admire the ambition. We should still laugh at them though.

[@rhysstanley7387]

mate where gonna send in the emu's you wont like us when we send in the emu's

[@kyle857]

There were other ways they could have gone that would have made more sense. A model T with a 37mm on the back... Or even just relying on stationary 37mm anti tank guns. Tanks are for maneuvering and breakthroughs. They are not really a requirement when defending two smallish islands.

[@TuShan18]

Agreed. A stationary gun would do the job if you're on the defense. Like I said though, at least they tried.

[@Ruthun92]

As an Australian, believe me we laugh at them every day

[@davidhunt1947]

Agree, towed guns, bazookas, mines...

[@Nickles4]

Need to reclaim my bob semple street cred. A sentence never to be repeated

[@tylergidley1014]

Who would win? Shaggy using 100% of his power level? Or One semple boi?

[@Number1Irishlad]

Neither, they would team up

[@ezolecter6218]

The universe couldn't handle so much power.

[@aaronbasham6554]

Let's make this fair, and have shaggy at 101% power.

[@Mericaa47]

That would be the fight of the century.

[@three-bark1928]

Hmm, they are both equally matched I don't really know.... My money's on the universe exploding

[@andressotil4671]

Japanese trying to invade New Zealand Bob Semple Tank: Omaewa mo shinderu Japanese Army: Nani??!!

[@HorseshitDetectionAgency]

golden

[@ayeemoto]

I once killed 9 Abrams, 4 Leopards and 7 T 34's with the bob semple, it stronk

[@chivinsrikumpol9621]

I once killed 1 trillion Bob semples with nothing

[@simonwetherill7461]

um ok... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[@shikikankillzone4239]

@@chivinsrikumpol9621 lies, not a single Bob Semple was destroyed

[@jamespocelinko104]

(Runs outside) HE'S DOING IT EVERYONE!!! HE'S FINALLY COVERING THE BOB SEMPLE TANK!!!

[@rakhav.p.7909]

Lvl.1 Tiger tank Lvl.100 Bob Semple Tank That's how tanks work

[@mrwehraboo5478]

Lvl 1 maus lvl 99999999999999999 bob semple

[@mikeyfisher4256]

**ear rape pump it plays**

[@amitabhakusari2304]

There's the Tsar Tank, the archnemesis of the Bob Semple, and don't forget Da Vinci's flying copter-tank thing(but we don't speak of this one)

[@Memetastic]

You forgot the *Tsar Tank*

[@justsomerandomlittlekidont2464]

No funny didnt laugh

[@SC-lc5wg]

@@justsomerandomlittlekidont2464 nobody asked

[@HeliosTheGoat]

Cv.33:Pathetic.

[@brodinharrison2667]

I have to thank you man I'm from NZ and it's nice hearing some good words about the tank for a change

[@hallowedknight7288]

Don't forget that we also reactivated alot of old cannons and even turned a ww1 Lee einfeild into a fully automatic lmg that worked well.

[@tmzilla]

Lee-Metford

[@noneed4sleep64]

Actually, you used pre-WW1 Lee-Metford and MLE rifles, it was the Australian variant that was built from SMLE rifles

[@yomemer5564]

who would win? The entire japanese army during ww2 or ONE WEAPONIZED TRACTOR

[@Ayy_Doll_Fiddler]

*PTSD intensifies*

[@studiosnch]

HMMMM AGED TO PERFECTION

[@alformodoritos2076]

@@Ayy_Doll_Fiddler Post Tractor Stress Disorder.

[@chivinsrikumpol9621]

The entire Japanese army

[@lukemarchand4183]

Could you do something on the Sentinel? It was designed by Australia during the war to counter a possible Japanese invasion, and although I've heard it was well-designed it never served in combat. I'd be interested to hear your take on the tank's design and how effective it might have been.

[@noofzoof]

Yeah a video on the penis tank would be cool

[@lukemarchand4183]

@@Kamina1703 On second thought, I don't need a video anymore. This is already the most thorough and plausible prediction possible.

[@IC3XR]

Big dick Aussie > bob semple

[@JohnE9999]

Well designed is a bit generous. It was a good first effort, and an impressive technical achievement for Australian industry, but as a tank, it wasn't very good. The turret was especially bad, as related in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jobUc4B5apJ7hqs

[@SupremeLeaderKimJong-un]

Simple History beat ya to it. Also, I should build these for my army

[@MO-lc7vb]

Kim Jong-un do it plz

[@superjesse645]

Marc Orsini Yes. Please use these instead of your T-62s. Maybe you'll beat South Korea by making them all laugh themselves to death when they see these things coming.

[@idonotlikeboats9328]

Kim Jong-un my plane is a planeisnt

[@mrwehraboo5478]

Noo save them just incase the americans attack

[@LorisNoKami]

I'd leave it for now, mate. You remember how cringe it was having Donnie constantly on the Twitter-Flex over a nuke jokes. You start a line of Bob Semples though and you know you're stepping well past jokes. I know we all like a laugh mate, but you take it too far sometimes. Like when you starved your country almost entirely to death. Yeah it was funny at first but you didn't have to try and find places for the mass graves. You know whats not easy to dig a mass grave on? Mountains. And what is half your entire country made of? Mountains. It's not on, mate. Hmu on apex later.

[@doom-lg7yb]

I am from NZ and love this tank. after watching this video I was in a fit of laughter.

[@gwimbus4399]

Kiwi Here, an FYI, we have rebuilt a working replica of a Bob Semple, is currently in a Musuem in Timaru.

[@urmother5050]

we did??

[@yaqzanliveson]

Pewdiepie vs T-gay? Pfffffft It's all about *Lizard man vs Simple history*

[@huskpl3yz358]

And what about oversimplified?

[@krieg8943]

HuSK PL3YZ He is the god that watches over the war

[@sturmpanzerwagena7v326]

For some reason i read it as "semple history" rather than simple history

[@nathanremix5800]

*I See You Are Also Man Of Bobture*

[@shoppingcart9559]

If you actual think about it, this tank is genuinely a fairly effective vehicle. Hear me out. The Japanese frequently used Banzai human wave tactics and world war one style charges, and their tanks and armoured vehicles had little to no armour. New Zealand had almost no anti tank guns and was behind in even recieving American 37mm's and British 2pdrs, so they used the good anti infantry weapons they had, LMG's. Imagine this: If the Japanese invaded and had a D-Day of the pacific for lack of a better term, and a few of these set up on the beach they would fucking annihilate the landing force. There would have been 6 fully automatic machineguns firing simultaneously at a thinly armoured landing craft that had no protection whatsoever and may as well have been made of tissue paper for all the good it would have done. And lets not forget, Japanese tanks of this time were consistent of designs like the Type 89 and Ha-Go which would have had as little as 5-10mm of armour in some places, even if the Bren guns wouldnt go through the armour they would at least be able to damage it and maybe even concuss the crew due to noise, like a miniatureised version of an IS-2 shell hitting a Panthers front plate, and while not being able to penetrate the plate, you'd know you'd been hit and you would shit the bed thinking your being hit by a freakishly big round able to fuck your tank over. This isnt even mentioning vehicles such as the completely unarmoured gun carriers used by the japanese which would have been easy prey for this things machine guns. Yes the design itself is a meme and yes its completely shit compared to the Sherman, Stuart and even the M2 prototype to some degree, but in its situation, it would have ruled the kiwi's roost.

[@ArcturusOTE]

So basically it'll probably be a good portable pillbox against banzai charges and Japanese toasters then?

[@Torus2112]

I agree, I've always said that having any kind of armoured vehicle with machine guns to support your infantry is going to be useful, and would definitely have helped slow the enemy down. Not so sure about putting it up against other tanks, but then again I'm sure the kiwis would have taken that into account and avoided those kinds of situations in favour of using infantry with anti-tank weapons against enemy armor.

[@Derpy-qg9hn]

The main issue is keeping enough ammo on hand to keep those Brens firing for long enough to repel a Japanese invasion..

[@jasonfenton8250]

2:00 I caught that Medal of Honor music, nice choice. For any interested, the song is Taiko Brigade.

[@10willdude]

Probably no less effective than most ww1 landships, actually pretty comparable to a female british MkIV, similar armament, protection and a bit faster.

[@jrd33]

"pretty comparable" to something built 20 years ago during an era of rapid technological development really isn't very good. Also, the Bren gun is a terrible weapon to equip a tank with (low rate of fire and you have to change magazines frequently).

[@mikebrown3772]

it's not as if the Japanese tanks were the best ww2 AFVs

[@1copperfly]

@@jrd33 Actually the Bren gun was accurate, tough, reliable, accurate, blew holes in lightly armored vehicles and had the same rate of fire as a BAR or a Browning 30 cal. The Bren was a better weapon than the BAR. Yes you would have to change mags but the Japanese Nambu, same rough design made murder of many marines. I doubt the Japanese or Germans had pleasant things to say about the Bren.

[@YangKaruna]

Now I know Simple History is basically Bob Semple History

[@spencerb1221]

This could be Battlefield V’s Kolibri

[@gary6884]

It was so powerful, you needed to use the console to cheat it in.

[@KaladinVegapunk]

I love how you give context with the designers backround, like the hot rod speedy tank designed by the race car designer, makes it at least a little less ridiculous in that light

[@ottovonbismarck1352]

4:26 - me in every group project.

[@SevenandForty]

"Due to a recent *incident* in France" lmao

[@TheOdst219]

*Looks left* *Looks right* Johnny my aft hatch is so thick you can hear the plates clack.

[@thediversifier1739]

New Zealand for the dub

[@ZachBZera]

This is honestly an engineering masterpiece. The fact that they were able to come up with anything resembling a tank like this is something to be proud of. Even if it wouldn't have been all that effective, they still had to do the best with what they have and that's what engineering is all about.

[@CharlesFreck]

It's worth mentioning that it wasn't really designed to act in the way we think of tanks. It was more of a mobile machine gun nest to provide support where defensive lines failed, and to provide support to attacking infantry, not to go gallivanting across the countryside fighting other tanks.

[@qthedisaster1730]

The Lord of Tank Memes Has Spoken!!! Like for Bob Semple the Best Tank

[@eddievanhalenhoward]

YES, thank you for this., If I had the money I would build myself a BOB Semple.

[@jacoblyons976]

We need tanks Bob semple “we have tanks” No good enough Bob semple”that’s to bad isn’t it”

[@benlittle5436]

Can I just say, if nothing else, I love your ability to say hot takes and make them so justified that I agree This isn’t the first, and I assume won’t be the last video where I honestly think differently about something after watching

[@Baelor-Breakspear]

You beat simple history every time pal. This channel is much better and you should be proud of yourself. Thank you for the hard work bud.

[@justabitround3603]

This tank was nerfed by Western media

[@jackhudner3804]

*COUNTRY CALENDAR THEME INTENSIFIES*

[@Remove2515]

You should cover the Rhodesian Bush War. Slot floppies and all that.

[@grammarnazi7428]

That was the best introduction to a video I have ever seen. HAHA! Congratulations!

[@scovserbcurmudgeon6818]

Grammar Nazi Your name and icon are awesome.

[@HamishGrimGaming]

As a Kiwi I am beyond proud of the Bob Semple. Not because it was good, or flashy or even usable. But simply because it is a well renown tank without having ever seen service.

[@thenotflatearth2714]

Designer: we will make the armors so thin that enemy shells would simply overpen!

[@TribuneAquila]

See that’s why it’s not really a good tank, you shoot it enough and it falls in half...Wait but then you’d be facing two Bob Semple tanks...Oh. My. God.

[@JellothePallascat]

I love your use of medal of honor music.

[@mitchellholland9331]

As a New Zealander, I have never felt more proud of my country than when watching this video.

[@tomasalexander3174]

Thank you

[@Elfos64]

It's actually pretty awesome to MacGyver up a tank like that. Sometimes impractical solutions are the only ones you have, and he played that angle his damnedest. Certainly more helpful than just throwing up your hands and saying "I guess we're screwed". That's a quitter's attitude.