The Tank that Everyone Laughed At

[@ryanmurdock7548]

He made a "Kill Dozer" out of what was available. My hat off to him. He built the best thing he could out what little he had available. Nice job.

[@saycat6758]

I remember that movie now.You dug that old movie from stored memories. Kill Dozer.

[@fbussier80]

@@saycat6758 he's talking about Marvin Heemeyer's killdozer..

[@saycat6758]

@@fbussier80 OK, I was thinking 1974 sci-fi movie Kill Dozer. Thanks.

[@N4CR]

Thats how us kiwis work lol.

[@crazfulla]

I new Zealand we call it kiwi ingenuity 😆

[@natesturm448]

Laughing at this tank is like laughing at someone who's lost at sea for trying to build a raft and trying to survive.

[@Neil-Aspinall]

No, laughing at NZlanders is always justified

[@natesturm448]

@@Neil-Aspinall okay, fair. But not the Natives. The Moari isn't a peoples I'd like to upset.

[@Neil-Aspinall]

@@natesturm448 Yeah I wasn't talking about the mighty warriors Nate.

[@Lil_hone]

@@natesturm448 Māori

[@Lil_hone]

@@Neil-Aspinall sure Champ

[@Cabooseified]

The Bob Semple Tank was the best tank of the war! New Zealand wasn't invaded, why? Bob Semple Tank. The Japanese saw this marvelous weapon of war and opted out of trying to take on the most formidable tank in WWII. How many T34s were destroyed? Tens of Thousands! How many Bob Semple tanks destroyed? None, I rest my case.

[@alanthecat59]

excellent point a Highley successful design agreed

[@natesturm448]

Running the numbers right now. Yeah . . . that checks out.

[@thedungeondelver]

Recently discovered was the plan to unleash waves of Bob Semple tanks on Japan should an invasion be required; the Allies decided that bombing Japan was much more humane.

[@Cabooseified]

@@thedungeondelver facts!

[@natelax1367]

All hail bob semple

[@geigertec5921]

It was actually the most successful tank of WWII, not a single unit was defeated in combat.

[@pissoff234]

Thanks for repeating what was said by EVERYONE.

[@geigertec5921]

@@pissoff234 Thanks for informing me of what litterally EVERYONE was thinking.

[@Cabooseified]

My boi in here spitting facts!!! #BobSempleTank

[@paulroberts3639]

Well if that was true, it would share the fame with the German Maus, the US T28 and a few others.

[@Jungle_Studio]

thanks for repeating what was said by EVERYONE

[@spacecase13]

A beautiful story of gathering resources for one big push, with unfortunately tragic and horrifying results. Rare to hear the backstory of what brought this tank about, most other people concentrate on the tank, and not the circumstance. Thanks for fleshing this out, great video and presentation as always!!

[@toomanyaccounts]

to be honest for what they had to work with and for the time it is actually impressive on how good it loos

[@eze417]

Somewhere, in a bizarre parallel universe, a Japanese invasion of New Zealand was defeated by two battalions of Bob Semple tanks. In this universe, it was not to be.

[@casper6800]

The Bob Semple tank was so fearsome that the Japanese were discouraged from invading. Best tank of the war if you ask me.

[@sirmiles1820]

Not one tank is destroyed.

[@dlmcnamara]

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

[@divisionbyzer0474]

😅

[@MomMom4Cubs]

@@sirmiles1820 I find myself amiss that such a great and fearsome tank exists, and I'm just learning about it now. The fact that such a weapon with an unblemished record isn't even mentioned in texts is highly unfortunate omission.

[@martinalipao8257]

Abrams vs bob semple *ABRAMS WINS!!!!!*

[@richardbidinger2577]

Given the lack of materials to work with, you gotta give them Kudos for at least trying. Besides, you never know if those would have made a difference in the war despite their limitations. It's not the size of the gun that matters, it's the will and determination of the men behind them.

[@SiliconBong]

@@Snake-ms7sj have a great day mate

[@MrJest2]

Given the piddly gun the Japanese light tanks had, even the corrugated armor might have worked better than expected... if that's where it was hit. But for a bolt-on conversion kit designed to be applied within hours once an attack was immanent, it was as good a plan as any, given the resources available.

[@decentish8546]

Tell that to the guy facing a King Tiger with a M3 Stuart armed with a 37mm gun.

[@jonasstahl9826]

@@Snake-ms7sj I dont think so, the addon weight 25t. That is way too much for any avialable truck in offroad condition.

[@jonasstahl9826]

@@Snake-ms7sj I dont think so the porpuse was to fight against light Japanese tank that had a 38mm cannon therefor they need some armor. Trucks wouldnt work, because of the dimension, they are relativ large in comperation to a bulldozer, means more area that make them heavy, also the drivetrain of the bulldozer was at its limit, no way the the drivetrain of a truck from this time could handle it.

[@matthewgray3375]

My grandfather was a apprentice during WW2 essential service as a mechanic on d8 while he was at ministry of works in Gisborne NZ. He never mentioned these, he did mention the decoys on the local airfield, the pill boxes, and my uncle on the home gaurd patrolling with broom sticks. The Japanese were close, there are photos of Gisbornes main street taken from a Japanese two man sub discovered after the war.

[@justineagle6176]

they were built in Temuka at the MoW shed there , that footage looks to be at Burnham military camp near chch

[@kiwibonsai2355]

Yet how would the war on Japan gone without Ernest Rutherford. I'll also add Erwin Rommels quote, “If I had to take hell, I would use the Australians to take it and the New Zealanders to hold it.” 🇳🇿✌️

[@disgruntledegghead6923]

I'll bet well over half of the people that laughed at it didn't have a tank of their own. It's better than nothing.

[@kieranb7582]

Bob "well, I don't see you making anything" Semple. A piece of Art, nothing to be scoffed at. Japanese could never recover the morale after this was released. A true example of the best weapon is one that never has to be used.

[@damyr]

That's just wrongful thinking. No tank is always better than a bad tank. Rather use resources on other anti-tank weaponry than building a useless death trap for your own men.

[@disgruntledegghead6923]

@@damyr my comment got over one hundred and sixty likes vs your zero likes.

[@Genesongx]

@@disgruntledegghead6923 the dude is right tho, that tank would explode with the first shell because of the shape, it is better to have a few dozen anti tank weapons than one big box that cannot even scratch another tank Anyways your response about likes is the cringiest thing i've seen seen for a while, you sure live up to your username

[@vinccool96]

Imagine arriving in New Zealand and and seeing a bunch of Kiwis charging you with this thing supporting them. It looks like shit, but for some reason it gives them enough confidence to fight you. You’re gonna wonder what it can do if it has that effect on the troops morale.

[@allandavis8201]

The vehicle towing the artillery piece @ 00:40 seconds looked remarkably like an early HUMVE. New Zealand 🇳🇿exemplified the old saying of “improvise, adapt and overcome”, you don’t always have to have shiny new toys to get the job done, well played New Zealand. 😀👍🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[@johnshufflebottom7907]

I think the towing vehicle is a Morris quad it was usually with the ammunition trailer and then the artillery gun behind that as shown.

[@stevengrace6712]

I thought that too!! Early Hummer proto?!

[@kerrymcdonagh1327]

@@johnshufflebottom7907 It is a Ford Blitz Gun Tractor towing a 25lber cannon. I restored one in Australia in the 1990's. Neat vehicle produced in Canada but shipped knocked down to be assembled in Australia & New Zealand. They were also used a lot in the middle east.

[@comradeivan2171]

It may not have been the tank they wanted, but it was the tank they needed. May the Bob Semple rust in peace.

[@thebasicmelon3373]

I dont think they were neither wanted or needed

[@iamterfer]

As a Kiwi I've known about this contraption for decades but just learnt that it had ⅜" plate & ½" corrugated metal -I've always thought that was corrugated roofing iron. The world of tanks may laugh at the Bob Semple (even I think it's a bit of a giggle) but the reason NZ was the last major landmass to be inhabited is coz we're literally at the end of the world. We had no real industry other than farming (tourism hadn't been invented), we'd shipped just about everything of military value to 'the front' and had no money or resources like steel to use ..I wonder what the rest of the world could do with little more than a couple of sheets of corrie' iron, a length of number 8 fencing wire & a bit of baling-twine?

[@disgruntledegghead6923]

I'll bet some Ukrainian folks are at the same task right now. It might be a lousy tank, but it's still a tank. Better than nothing for sure!

[@scottwhitley3392]

NZ’s best resource was it’s warriors.

[@Operator8282]

@@disgruntledegghead6923 You beat me to it! I bet there are rather a few Ukranians that would kill for a few sheets of steel, some bailing wire and a couple dozen meters of hog fence.

[@jackprichard6780]

Seriously, the Japanese tanks are considered to be awful compared to Soviet, German and pretty much anything but our Bob Semple (Hastings represent), what's their excuse?

[@iamterfer]

@@jackprichard6780 Lack of money, materials, tools and know-how.

[@paxofpayne]

" I dont see anyone coming up with better ideas" - Bob Semple

[@danieleyre8913]

People did have better ideas. There was a motor vehicle dealer in Wellington called Schofield who came out with a far superior improvised tank design.

[@paxofpayne]

@@danieleyre8913 cool any details ill look it up

[@angrybadgerminis3077]

Here's some food for thought. 1) If they only had to deal with infantry, this could be a major deterrent if supported by their own infantry as we have done throughout history, since all tanks are vulnerable to infantry...period. 2) What were they supposed to do, just sit there and not try something? Hell, even Napoleon won with fake silhouetted mockups. 3) Yes if we were to compare it to what was already out there, then yes it doesn't measure up, but you can better believe that the people of New Zealand would have loved to have had its support in whatever capacity, even if it was just a mobile guard tower at key points of interest.

[@justindunlap1235]

It rather have a sample than those mobile pill boxes brutal made for the home gaurd, a concrete box on the back of an old freight truck that was usually only 2wd.

[@justindunlap1235]

Even having a boys AT rifle for the main gun would be deadly against japanese light armor.

[@angrybadgerminis3077]

@@justindunlap1235 Exactly

[@disgruntledegghead6923]

I'll bet some Ukrainians are bailing something similar together right now. It may be a joke to some people, but it's still an armored vehicle.

[@BeingFireRetardant]

No different than log cannons on forts and ships of the 1700's to deter pirates. Nothing is useless if it works.

[@ToreDL87]

When this was built, it would have been highly unlikely for Japan to send many tanks if they invaded NZ, if any tanks at all. Armored dozers work against conventional weapons, that's been proven to devastating effect, and to add to that the 6.5mm Arisaka (the more prevalent Japanese rifle cartridge at the time this tank was invented) wasn't known for being the most powerful.

[@CETGale]

They would have brought their 37mm anti tank guns with them... 1 per every 300 troops

[@RubyDoobieScoo]

@@CETGale to a country without any real tanks?

[@TheSgtbk]

As a New Zealander and ex member of her Armored Corp, thank you for a very sympathetic review. By the end of WW II we had a fairly large fleet of mainly M4 Sherman Tanks operating in Italy plus Valentine Tanks based here in New Zealand and used in the Pacific Islands Campaign.

[@Llamarama100]

People just laughed at it to hide their horror and fear of such a machine.

[@miguelcastaneda7236]

Well think ...tucker ..Preston also built a tank was capable of doing 100.mph...think what that could have done in combat.. shoot it shoot it ....ah where

[@shanetonkin2850]

Exactly, it was nervous laughter.

[@raugasai9135]

I think they made the most of what was available to them at that particular point in time, utilizing the experience, or lack thereof, of the tank's designers. If you ask me about the first word that came to mind when I first saw it, the word was 'cute'. Obviously not the word you'd want associated with your war machine. It looked like something a child would design, for all the right intention & purposes.

[@jackprichard6780]

Yeah, it totally looks like the kids got a pedal car for Christmas, then decided they wanted to play tanks. So they found the biggest cardboard box in the garage, cut out some holes through which they poked broomsticks and they are making boom noises. Great fun.

[@tiberiancostal1358]

My word wasn't "cute" it was "necessary". I doubt even the most rose tinted view saw this as any real good. It was the only option available (and they didnt even have the resources to mount a main weapon, it looks like this was the only option) then I think the NZ infantry would rather have them to then not. OK, its terrible but so were lots of other short ntice ideas at the time

[@Operator8282]

I don't think that the Bob Semple was the worst tank ever made, there were some REAL Winners designed and built to prototype level by the Soviet Union. Probably never deployed, but built and tested. some couldnt steer for being too long, some couldnt go in any direction well for being too heavy, and some just never took anything like the ubiquitous russian mud into account during design phase. At least the Bob Semple could boast mobility. And a secondary use as a D-8 earth mover. The Proto-Killdozer, if you will.

[@jblob5764]

Fair point, it really was basically the original killdozer. And even that long ago a D8 was a serious piece of machinery

[@paoloviti6156]

Altrough you are correct you must also consider the reaction of the public when they saw this so-called tank, it was literally boarding to outright shock! They immediately knew that it was almost totally useless against the Japanese tanks and troops. It was in 1941 they already knew about the Blitzkrieg and how the tanks were effective and they showed them this lousy tractor box? It would have been much better to train the people how to guerrilla, do molotov, prepare nasty traps and whatever...

[@johndododoe1411]

@@paoloviti6156 This and the men with broomsticks as weapons was the final strategy chosen by Japan. It was so effective it scared MacArthur into nuking Japan instead of risking an invasion.

[@paoloviti6156]

@@johndododoe1411 exactly, but the final nail was Iwo Jima that definitely really demonstrating how really hard the Japanese were. The logic was that already was very costly for the US troops to beat the Japanese forces but after Tarawa there was deep dissatisfaction of the public when they found out the loss the US troops sustained. But invading Japan? It would have taken a long time to "tame" the whole population, an encredibly expensive in both economically and human loss. Hence the reason why two Atomic bombs was dropped....

[@martinwarner1178]

@@johndododoe1411 I think they nuked Japan X 2 as a experiment. Good old US of A. Peace be unto you.

[@paulgrant7949]

It looks like "Little Willie" one of the first British tanks developed in WW1. That's where they started using the name "tank", as it looked like a mobile water storage tank and that term was used to throw off enemy.

[@mikeunum]

It is always easy to take later and laugh but the strugle in that time was more then worse. Today we say that was the worse tank ever build but with less to no resources and nearly no know-how it was a wonder that they could build it. Respect for it.

[@Frosty_tha_Snowman]

ITS THE FREAKING BOB SEMPLE.

[@philodonoghue3062]

The Bob Semple ‘Tank’ was a classic example of the Kiwi ie New Zealand ‘can do/ make do’ spirit inherited from their pioneer British settler grandparents in the previous century of European colonisation and settled of often rugged bush* covered terrain. This involved clearing millions of acres of native forest by small farmers. As any new replacement farming etc machinery took several weeks or even a couple of months to reach this new Britain of the South from Britain, farmers and light industries had to improvise with whatever was available to adapt or make. In the case of farmers, this often involved holding things together with length of fence wire of which the most common gauge was No.8 wire. Hence the common use still of Kiwi No.8 wire ingenuity at invention and innovation - eg the jet propulsion boat to navigate wide shallow rivers in the South Island, the disposable plastic syringe - without which the war on Covid19 would have been impossible. It was this renowned rugged self-reliance that led the British Eighth Army in the Western Desert campaign in North Africa to immediately recruit New Zealander as the founding personnel of the Long Range Desert Group (LRDG) In WW2

[@iamterfer]

Rommel is rumoured to have said something to the effect of "give me the 28th (Maori) battalion and I'll take over the world"

[@philodonoghue3062]

@@iamterfer I think a division or such of Maori Battalions

[@iamterfer]

@@philodonoghue3062 Doesn't matter what weapon you're carrying, Jake Heke would be a scary bloke to meet up with on his own, never mind when he's with his tribe

[@rowanshole]

Airtruk springs to mind. Of course Australia improved upon the design, but the genisis was NZ ;¬>

[@danieleyre8913]

Bob Semple wasn't actually a New Zealander, he was an Australian who had emigrated to NZ after being blackballed in Australia for membership of socialist organisations. The people he had working on this project all expressed concerns to him and that the vehicle would be more of a liability than an asset, and that NZ could've actually produced British or American or other commonwealth tank models under licence (if give the right resources and materials) with the railways workshops & automobile assembly plants & other machine shops & foundries across NZ in 1941.

[@MakingMoneyyy857]

Based on a catepillar tractor. True proven design. Ziggurat coated armour plate. 7 guns 360 degree fire. No bob semple tanks were lost, best tank of the war

[@justindunlap1235]

There's a couple of the tractors this is based on at my local mining museum, I've always wanted to turn one into a semple tank. But I'm sure that wouldn't be a simple undertaking.

[@Cabooseified]

No but it would be a Semple undertaking.

[@jackprichard6780]

Actually I think it would be reasonably easy. If we could do it during world war 2 using some left over things we had lying about how hard could it be? The hardest part would be getting something that looks like roofing iron for the authentic look.

[@BeardedFrog]

I mean Marvin Heemeyer pulled it off pretty good.

[@criggie]

That's a GREAT excuse to buy a 3D printer !

[@gotherecom]

@@BeardedFrog A man, a will, a garage. Kick a$$

[@stringstorm]

While everyone laughed at the Bob Semple tank, I very much admire it. Its a tank cobbled together from what was available because there was a looming threat of invasion. So not only was it made with what they had on hand, it also showed that the Kiwis were determined to defend their home from invaders. And that is something that Kiwis should be proud of and something that everyone should admire, especially during our times.

[@Matthiasthehillbilly]

It’s basically a damn castle on tracks

[@MUKIT71]

Leave my man Bob alone. it's trying it's best

[@alanthecat59]

can it carry sheep and personnel? i think maybe yes .it looks a bit like a sheep shed. Maybe that's the real key we are missing to understand its design brief ?

[@vthompson1987]

That is the worst tank I’ve ever heard of! Bob Semple Tank: But you have heard of me.

[@NobodyGoesREKT]

Finally you talked about this legend

[@DEVILTAZ35]

Tanks have feelings too. Leave Tanky alone.

[@critterjon4061]

Don’t laugh at him he is doing his best

[@Neil-Aspinall]

cute

[@nonaurbiz1111]

Your closing statement was very diplomatic and understanding. good on ya.

[@mattyallen3396]

Remember guys, we were there from the start to the finish. We didn't jump in half way...

[@danieleyre8913]

It was conceived by an Australian who'd been elected as a member of the NZ Parliament called Robert Semple. It should be noted that his tank was both ridiculed by everyone on revelation and had been questioned by the men he'd had working on the team (which he ignored). New Zealand did actually have the industrial capacity, albeit not very large scale, to fabricate modern tanks in the second world war. There were several locomotive plants and automobile assembly plants and machine shops around the country. It's just that Bob Semple was out of his depth.

[@gregoryfletcher6198]

Kiwis being Kiwis would probably still put up a good fight and stopped any invasion. If the tank did not stop them , few jars of marmight would have done the trick.

[@Neil-Aspinall]

NZlanders oh dear

[@davidray4120]

Remember that in the same war New Zealand manufactured a light machine gun, the Charlton automatic rifle, from what where basically out dated obsolete Lee-Metford Boar war .303 bolt action rifles. Because of our early isolation Kiwis have always been a nation of improvisers. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but the collective attitude was to always give it a go!

[@VTPSTTU]

When they thought that they could get a 37 mm gun for the tank, maybe building it would make sense. Anything with the right gun could hit a Japanese tank and have some chance of knocking out the Japanese tank. Once they realized that they couldn't build something that could accomplish what they needed it to do, I don't understand why they continued the project. They would have been better off using the tractors to build trenches and walls that the Japanese tanks couldn't cross. They would have been better off using the steel to armor vehicles that could be effective against the Japanese tanks. I still give them credit for trying some kind of experiment. Maybe they could have learned something that would be useful in building some other kind of vehicle that could be effective.

[@toomanyaccounts]

the whole point was a kit to armor the dozers in case of invasion so they could be used as anti-infantry

[@gotherecom]

Try - fail- learn - try again

[@catthecommentbothunter6890]

New Zealand:hey Britain i need tanks to defend my self against the Japanese Britain:you tanks at home Tanks at home:

[@FFNOJG]

I hate that it's been labeled "the worst tank ever" I agree with Bob semple. "you try and do better" I agree that some design things could have been done in shape to make this thing better, but he did the best he could with what was available. in the end the "BST" would have been an anti infantry armored vehicle, and would have been better than nothing.

[@pissoff234]

Better than nothing how do you figure? Hiding in a tree with a slingshot would be better than that moving target.

[@kaws8778]

@@pissoff234 could hiding in a tree with a slingshot indiscriminately murder everything in 360’ with automatic rifles?

[@criggie]

Exactly - the worst tank ever still beats no tank.

[@danieleyre8913]

_"but he did the best he could with what was available"_ I find that debatable. At that point in History: NZ had 6 major railway workshops all with their own dedicated foundries and an excellent array of machine tools, all of which had made steam locomotives. There was also a GM assembly plant in Gracefield Lower Hutt and the Ford assembly plant at Wiri near Manukau (which actually made armoured vehicles during the war - Bren gun carriers for the British empire armies). And there were shipyards capable of heavy steelworking in Port Chalmers & Whangarei. Plus there were numerous other machine shops & foundries across NZ. Although at that stage: NZ did not have its own steel mill.

[@putrachillsmaster2316]

King Richard lll: where's my horse where's my horse

[@JohnSmith-pl2bk]

You forget the Charlton machine gun... Boer War .303 bolt action rifles converted to full machine guns. All the working bits were on the outside of the gun... They looked Heath Robinson (or Semple tank) but they worked. 1500 were constructed.... None were issued. All but a few that fell off the back of a truck were burnt by an "accidental" fire after the end of the war.

[@brianve7jyd943]

When your back is to the wall - you use what ever you have to survive

[@ninehundreddollarluxuryyac5958]

Actually brilliant in several ways. Pre-deploying the rapid conversion kits to where the dozers were working let them be rapidly available while still working as dozers. This is far better than on armor and would be a terror against infantry. And the angled steel over the thicker armor vastly enhances its protection while adding minimal weight.

[@CitiesTurnedToDust]

Well, you know, when little Abner Doubleday first sat down to play baseball, everybody laughed then too

[@hughjass1044]

As you say, a lot of courage and determination went into this contraption that many people... myself included... have had many a hearty laugh at. All jokes aside though, the simple fact of the matter is, just like the video points out - you do the best you can with what you've got available. And there can never be any shame in that.

[@toomanyaccounts]

the japanese tanks were pretty horrible and for the most part the japanese used infantry.

[@Mr._Mean]

At times I felt like you were describing my car🤣

[@MrDmitriRavenoff]

The Semple was the prototype for Killdozer.

[@jayhawkjd8565]

My thought exactly!

[@disgruntledegghead6923]

I'm sure you're right on that! Albeit a few less munitions.

[@BeingFireRetardant]

I should have scrolled down more, said the exact same thing. Lol.

[@notsosilentmajority1]

This was a valiant effort. Hey, you have nothing but a few tractors and limited guns and steel........... this is what you get. It didn't end up being a great tank but the fact that New Zealand rallied and used what was at their disposal deserves admiration and praise. Other nations may have begged the US, Britain or some other nation, only to have nothing. I'll take the people that at least try, over the people that wait for others to do for them. Well done New Zealand. 👍

[@PurpleRhymesWithOrange]

THis is a truly inspiring story. It is one thing for a great nation with huge resources to gear up for war. It is quite another matter for a small nation to face up to a country whos military budget is several times their total GNP.

[@jackprichard6780]

It's the way we are. We know we are not a Great Power and we will never be one. We don't see that as a reason to give up. We see it as a reason to give the problem everything we have.

[@geoff2027]

@@jackprichard6780 Very true, but hey we split the atom and we have a vibrant space program so I guess we do ok for a little nation at the bottom of the world.

[@chrisblain7065]

What's the truck at 1:20? That thing is cool looking.

[@bobytrap.j9793]

It’s wonderful to see a small nation’s high spirit to fight and defend itself, weaponry comes next. 👍🏻

[@gavinjenkins899]

"Laughed" can't help but notice you chose past tense. Also I like how they have to find a solution, and it's just "Oh go ask Bob, he's usually the guy who comes up with stuff". As if the war minister just hollered down the street for advice and everyone in New Zealand heard him

[@warhawk4494]

Against infantry with no anti weapons this would have been murderous. In fact a man with the tools and skills could build one in his garage and it....would easily defend his neighborhood.

[@LonersGuide]

"Bob, we need tanks that can take on the Japanese armor. We'll supply the materials and funds. Oh, and we need it yesterday" "Okay, I'm going to need armor steel plating, lots of it." "Yeah, that's going to be a problem, Bob, all we have is 0.3" and 0.5", and you'll have to use it sparingly." "Okay, well, I'm going to need an artillery type gun capable of piercing armor." "Can't spare any of those, Bob, you'll have to make due with light machine guns." "I see, well, you want this "tank" to move, right? I'm going to need engines, transmissions..." "We don't have any of those, Bob." "I'm going to need money, then." "Well, we anticipated this, so we all chipped in, and well, here ya go." "What's this??" "That's eleven dollars and fifty three cents, Bob, what's it look like?" "I'll get back to you..."

[@michaelhowell2326]

It just goes to show how stressed the world was that New Zealand couldn't get anything heavier that .303 machine gun. Especially since it is an English-speaking country of the former British Empire.

[@Ccidergoob]

Jealously is truly interesting - - who wouldn't want a freaking tank on their garage?

[@richardpatton2502]

“Worst tank ever built”… That’s a bold statement All the best to everyone

[@Hiznogood]

Yeah, that title should go to the “Maus”! This one could even move around a bit, though a little slow and with a risk of topple over.

[@Gorilla_Jones]

Yeah, no. This is definitely the worst tank ever made. Sorry Mr. Devil's advocate guy.

[@awatsycamorefarmnearsiouxf7526]

This video was an excellent examination of the technology and industry necessary to develop more advanced weapon systems.

[@FormulaZR]

The worst tank ever built...but...(in Jack Sparrow voice)...it WAS built. The best of what could be done with available resources.

[@kiwibonsai2355]

Yup, if need be it would have been built out of number 8 wire 👍🇳🇿

[@JOCKATEO]

its like something the A TEAM would make when they got trapped in a shed and out of a couple of nails a gas bottle and a trolley and a welder they would make a tank like that🤣

[@Ardvards]

its kind of interesting. the tank was designed in NZ close to where I was born. the final piece of the Bob Semple tank is in my home town's museum 😊

[@fredgervinm.p.3315]

All things considered, "A" for effort !

[@Jooba1776]

More effective than the T-72

[@chesspiece81]

I wish a link for each of the Dark content channels was in the description of each video. I'm pretty sure I'm subscribed to all of them but I'm not absolutely sure of it. Great content across all channels, keep up the good work.

[@magookemp4868]

Looks more at home as an armored personnel carrier

[@Mrgunsngear]

Thanks

[@mth469]

A more practical idea might have been to make a wooden tank chassis and covered it with steel plates. A light fast moving tank.

[@mitchmiller7204]

@mth469. And call it "The Mosquito?"

[@whodawata1]

Kiwis at our best when asked why he is making it and the best response "because I don't see anyone else trying

[@1pcfred]

Say what you will about the Bob Semple tank but it became an immortal meme. And that's not something everything does.

[@jirivesely3320]

Always the best videos... Thx.

[@danielt.8573]

Laughed at? I think it's genius.

[@rogergotstoned3291]

So "Enhanced Applique Armor Kits" that was bolted onto the side of my AFV prior to deploying into Afghanistan,was first designed and made in New Zealand during WW2🤔🤔🤔.......Thank you Bob Semple.

[@jackprichard6780]

Laugh, sure. But consider this: A Japanese invasion of Hawaii was unthinkable because of the size of the Pacific ocean. Hawaii is the northern tip of the Polynesian Triangle, New Zealand is the south eastern tip of that triangle. So an invasion wasn't going to happen. If Imperial Japan had tried it and, somehow, put soldiers and tanks ashore we would have abandoned Auckland and Wellington for the countryside. We would have waged a guerrilla campaign for about a week then someone in the Japanese military would have asked: What are we doing here again? At which point they would have left. Finally, let's see what kind of tank you come up with given a D8 tractor and some odds and ends.

[@iamterfer]

The Japanese wouldn't have left after asking what they were doing in the arse-end of the the Pacific Ocean; that's when they (like their descendants have done ever since) would've really started shooting ..with cameras

[@decentish8546]

That tactic sounds like exactly what the allies used in the Phillipines, Malaya and the Dutch East Indies. The allies lost all of those campaigns and only regained the land after they won the war at sea. Certainly New Zealand would have put up some fight but they would be ultimately defeated.

[@shanetonkin2850]

Yes but Hawaii is considerably more isolated than New Zealand, there is literally nothing for thousands of miles in all directions which is why it was a more difficult target. There was nowhere the Japanese could use as a staging point to launch the invasion from. This was not the case for New Zealand, which while still remote, was at least within flight range of other islands like Tonga or Fiji (just). Also, I imagine the presence of the US Pacific fleet home base at Hawaii probably had something to do with it too.. While you are right that there is no evidence of any serious intentions by the Japanese to invade New Zealand or Australia, the fact they were they planning to invade Fiji, Samoa & New Caledonia, and indeed very close to actually doing so (I believe it was their next target after New Guinea), means invading New Zealand certainly wasn’t out of the question either.

[@bukster1]

I'm in New Zealand and remember seeing footage of this tank on a public parade. It was presumably there to boost public morale. That footage doesn't appear in this video but a still frame from it is on the Wikipedia page about this tank. Wikipedia also mentions a second NZ built tank called the Schofield tank. We New Zealanders have a history of a 'do it yourself' attitude. Vehicles like the Duz Go and the Trekka are other examples of this.

[@andrewmoore2939]

It broke down during that parade

[@bukster1]

@@andrewmoore2939 oh dear. They didn't show that bit on the footage I saw of it.🤣

[@brendanhayes5487]

What you missed was that the 'coronations' were actually tungsten steel and when they 'tested it ' they found that it was very tough. In the end they fired six inch navel rounds at it and couldn't dent it.

[@jdranetz]

The Ned Kelly of tanks.

[@doriWyo]

They did the best they could with what they had.

[@elliotbradley]

Dispatch.... Lol - I 💕 that term.

[@brandonfrancois9352]

might be the worst tank ever but at the same time its a f^$# ton better then no tank at all lol

[@stewartmckay9830]

It looks like they were better prepared than they are now

[@ZebraActual]

The most glorious, powerful tank in the world!!! lol

[@SpeedLockedNZ]

@Dark Docs at 3:48 you have period footage of a local beach (back beach , new Plymouth, NZ, with Paratutu rocks) can you say where this came from, I'd to see more historic footage,

[@patriciatutaki3322]

most of our men were in nth Africa/Greece/Crete and Britain when Japan joined the war... plus one of the three cruisers (Achilles was kiwi owned and manned) that chased, fought, and defeated Graf Spree was just off sth America ... so we had bugger all manpower left at home, few manufacturing facilities, less than a million people occupying lands about the same area as the UK .... we lost more men in both world wars on a per head of population basis than all our allies ... adapting what you have to perform things over and above what they are designed for was always the kiwi way ... so okay, sometimes they never worked, but you'll never know if you don't try ... we have invented or improved on many farming and animal husbandry methods over the years, so this idea of a homegrown tank is just one of many ... have you heard of the Pearse brothers? ... they built a plane and Richard Pearse flew it before the Wright Bros., but the yanks and poms said "we never witnessed it, so it never happened" or words to that effect. So just maligning us is a bit below the belt ... those "tanks" were experiments that we decided were failures and stopped, not somebody else ... plus in late 1942 the yanks were here in large numbers, with tanks and artillery, so our earlier "inventions" were no longer required ... ps; we conquered Everest first, split the atom first, and are still the best rugby country in the world

[@criggie]

Also remember New Zealand gave the Royal Navy a complete Battlecruiser, in the 1910's. HMS New Zealand was at the Battle of Jutland too, and had a high percentage of kiwis as crew.

[@KDFRxpo2]

Another excellent video! Thank you!

[@steelcannibal]

God bless the kiwi's!

[@Neil-Aspinall]

You are obviously not Australian. They have to put up with them coming over.

[@disgruntledegghead6923]

@@Neil-Aspinall Proof that no matter where you live in the world you're always going to have neighbors you really don't like.

[@kiwibonsai2355]

@@Neil-Aspinall sounds underarm to me, its not often you see Kiwis going on about the Ozzy visitors we get here and the outrageous crimes committed or those falling on hard times in need of assistance while here. I grew up learning Ozzy were our brothers across the ditch that my grandfather was willing to die beside these days all I see is Australia wanting to become Americas little brother and NZs peaceful nature doesn't fit the ego. Still people are individuals with a say just guts me to see the bond dissolve.

[@Neil-Aspinall]

@@kiwibonsai2355 NZlanders have always irritated Australians because of their upstart natures. They have always been that yapping little dog at Australia's ankles.

[@kiwibonsai2355]

@@Neil-Aspinall Kath n Kim styles? 🙄🤣😂🤣 I'd say its got more to do with failure in sporting events that upsets the average ozzy.. As for the others they can sing " tie me kangaroo down sport" to some other nutter that's ego is very short sighted.

[@TheMythicalHaastsEagle]

Rumor has it that post WW2 a Type 92 heavy machine gun was tested against the armour. It surprised the testers by doing quite well, and it was noted that the corrugations decreased the penetration of the round.

[@K1W1fly]

The outer corrugations were also Manganese, not plain steel.

[@pyroglyphics]

The tank that everyone laughed at..... "insert Russian tank type here"😝

[@AirShark95]

Oof

[@dexlab7539]

Wow, the sheer lack of education shown by that comment is stunning

[@pyroglyphics]

@@dexlab7539 lol, I can't believe you took this one serious 🤣 so i added something to help explain the fact that this was definetely not to be taken that seriously as you Just did😏

[@JDHetzer]

Your comment is absolutely daft. A simple way to judge a tank is 1) firepower 2) defensive capability 3) availability. The Sherman was a poor tank in many ways compared to German tanks. But there were so many of them available to apply force. There is a (perhaps apocryphal) story that Germans would say "A tiger is worth 10 Shermans. Unfortunately, the Americans will always bring 11" When you look at Russian and Soviet tanks many are more than effective but they are everywhere. The T34 was an amazing tank. The T55, 60, 72, and on have been the staple of militaries across the world for decades. You clearly have no idea what you are talking about.

[@MrDmitriRavenoff]

@@dexlab7539 I'm pretty sure he's talking about recent events in the Ukraine and how Russian armor units are falling victim to modern weapons like the Javelin top attack missile. In WW2 and even the cold war, Russian tanks were solid, if of often relatively poor build quality.

[@Turtleproof]

Converting construction equipment to defend the elite of an empire is so romantic in Starsiege, tho ... when your miner buddies discover a cache of alien super technology.

[@darkx391]

I need a Bob simple tank in War Thunder

[@bigstyx]

I like it ! If I was a 10-year-old boy I would’ve built the same thing but out of cardboard with a rubber band for a canon and a broomstick. Probably could’ve defeated at least two divisions of my neighbors rubber band gun tanks.

[@finscreenname]

The current NZ leader would let Japan take them over while she committed "crimes against humanity" like their Supreme Court said the other day.

[@lunkydog]

I can't help but notice that she and the female calling the shots in Australia are both disasters and eagerly embraced the Pandemic to become dictators.

[@kiwibonsai2355]

And while our previous right wing government sold us out to the worlds Elitists, killing the working classes dream of home ownership. Then to add salt to the wounds sold our publicly owned power companies to the elite, my grandparents and parents tax paid for that infrastructure to be built to benefit the whole country not just rich investors.. John Keys nick name before politics was the Smiling Assassin for a reason.

[@Jamison1888]

I hate what's happened to our country damn John and damn that horse

[@kiwibonsai2355]

We were told in the 80s oil would run out before the year 2000. We were told that global warming was false. We were told that modern technology would give families more spare time to spend with each other yet we give our children to strangers so both parents can work to try and cover rent, gone are the days of one parent works to cover the mortgage. The only thing that's improved is that amount of money held by the 1%. If Jacinda's crime is caring about others and not just the 1%s bottom line our priorities are being mislead.

[@kiwibonsai2355]

@@lunkydog you won't get any forced handshakes of ponytail hair pulling from Jacinda.. True family values shock some people when profit is at stake.

[@moodyrick8503]

After all the war docs I've seen, it's nice to hear a story about WW 2 that is new to me. _Great site._

[@humphet]

Great topic. thank you!

[@ranger175a2w]

Thanks from Texas Dark Dude

[@SeaGoingLizabeth]

oh my god dark doing the bob semple

[@davidellis1355]

A contender for the worst tank in the world ... The Valiant