Teach girls bravery, not perfection | Reshma Saujani

[@Real_Noah_is_me]

I am a high school student living in Korea. I happened to find your book in the library and cried while reading the introduction. And when I heard this story at TED, I found this video. Thank you very much. I've realized that I'm abusing myself too much in pursuit of perfection. I kept paying attention to my relationships, and I thought the reason why I was so low on my self-esteem was because I wasn't perfect, so I went overboard with myself every day. And I thought I'd be better by a little bit more perfect, but I realized I wasn't. I found life hard because I've been pursuing perfection. I changed my life. Thanks once again.

[@Edyson_Games]

That's beautiful!😥😊

[@gargipopere]

Wow

[@sababajwa93]

That’s a big issue in Korea. What I never understood was why? All koreans look beautiful and are smart and good. Why try to be perfect? They need God actually (I’m Muslim), I know they need God. They don’t need anything but God and vacation, they work too hard.

[@hamkaida]

@@sababajwa93 I think Korea put a very high standard especially for women. hence with all that plastic surgery. I don't think the reason is about believe in god or not. It is more about how their society work and need to be change.

[@sababajwa93]

Wonder Mind why change if Allah made them born beautiful. Most of them are good as they are

[@leasa1567]

I never realized how so many of the things she spoke about were true about how I act

[@unknownuser7859]

Ikr! Same here

[@audinathanael]

same here i amazed of her speak Nb : Btw i boy

[@christyfrost2082]

how do you like this and im a boy

[@batoolfahad9447]

omg ! me too we do those things and we didn't even realize it . she opened my eyes ...

[@AshleyZieman]

OMG yes, me too

[@shelbzzz3705]

I am a 5th grade 11 year old student. I cant tell you how much this changed me. I showed this to my best friends, family, even my teachers, and they all changed there act. Wow. This is amazing.

[@CoolioStuffz]

you are very mature for a 5th grader! probably sixth grade now but glad this change you!

[@Valuofnature]

Brave of you darling

[@sheew.9409]

I cried while I was watching the video. I am a girl from China. My life is always filled with unequal expectations for boys and girls. We are taught to do more and get less. I don't think this is what the world should like. No one teach me to be brave. I even don't know that we should be brave to have a better life. I am 28 years old now. I hope this year I can make a big progress and try something new that I always afraid of. Thanks for sharing this video.

[@lunasea4309]

How's the progress??

[@AndreasRudolph]

This is just beautiful. I'm going to teach my daughter (4 months old) to fail bravely everyday with her head held high. Thank you

[@persephone2002]

Honestly the world needs more dads like you. As a 18 year old girl who grew up with toxic masculinity from a dad who's mother still holds a strong hatred towards me because I'm a girl and not a boy, I can promise you that there are many girls who can only dream of this kind of empowerment.

[@Shalalalala_666]

@@persephone2002 I'm a little bit younger than you. I go to an EXTREMELY Religious Conservative All girls private school. Here we are taught to be perfect. But perfect was something I never really understood. If we make one mistake then G-D will punish us. In my class, the other girls would literally cry over getting a 97% on a test! We are taught not to question the rules and why we follow them. So I will ask you, please STAY STRONG. I can't imagine another girl out there that's anything like my class. So PLEASE STAY STRONG! No matter what your father or mother say. 👧 💪

[@shelbzzz3705]

Andreas Rudolph, I truly hope your daughter grows up to be like her.

[@HR-yd5ib]

If it were not for this BS talk you would have taught your daughter that she is a failure if not everything she does turns into gold? Give me a break!

[@RDanJr]

Bro I thought the same thing , I thought I was teaching my 4 year old to be strong minded with perfection but I was actually doing it wrong , she can still be strong minded by trying and failing

[@cheesetime]

I am 11 years old. Your talk inspired me to take a coding class. I’m now smarter and more confident. Thank you so much.

[@NPStation]

This is one of the best TED talks I have seen. Reshma is so inspiring and leading the world towards a better place for girls. She is my role model and mentor. I met her this week at Library of Congress in Washington DC and had the honor of speaking to her in person. She shared some useful hints about life in general for girls and how we should be brave and doesnt matter if we are not perfect.

[@ayapaulhus]

It’s scary that I thought I was a confident woman, and yet I saw myself in many examples you have stated, where I put myself down. Eye-opener. For the better. Thank you.

[@jacqui2769]

I was 32 when I decided to go back to school to become a computer programmer! It was the bravest thing I have ever done. I was used to be being a perfectionists, who struggled with fear of failure. But, I knew I had to try and get out there. I have a daughter, and I wanted to teach her to never give up, to always learn, and to never be afraid to try. That lesson started with showing her how to start. It is a scary thing as a woman in tech. I feel as though the learning process and application of code is different between men and women. And the struggle is the communication gap on how to show that you do have the ability to process requests, but how do you have confidence to build it and show it!

[@roidroid]

I used to code more when i was young, but lost interest as i grew up. Now i'm wondering if it's coz i was too perfectionist about it. Inspiring talk.

[@Nana_9933]

Same😊;

[@roidroid]

+CnCIsDead nah i have to code occasionally still. i tend to put it off, and only do it when i have to. But if i think about it, i really did enjoy coding as a kid, i just tell myself thesedays that i don't have the time (too much hardware to build, ain't nobody got time for software).

[@xennoux]

+CnCIsDead that's one of the most inconsistent comments to write on internet...

[@remotelyrichcom]

It's all about the problems you need to solve.

[@malverysuh7786]

I used to play games a lot when I was young but as I grew up and started to lose interest-I’ve notice cuz guys were kinda weird when I told them I like video games or any of that sort of thing 🙃🙃🙃🙃it’s like being judges ten times worst, like wtf I just wanna play.

[@MrNesscity]

What we should really take away from this talk are the basic principle that we should teach our children (male&female) not to strive for perfection, but for bravery, to accept that everybody makes mistakes, make them feel loved even when they do fail, encourage them to try harder or again, make things better or improve little by little. The expectation to be perfect to make that huge leap into the dark is scary. So maybe we should teach them to be brave, take little steps, until they are ready to make the leap and be "perfect" while they already were perfect with their imperfections.

[@vasudha1074]

True!

[@RosalieMaryRose]

Yes, but (most of) boys have already been taught that, so now the important is to teach girls

[@MrNesscity]

well there is always a new generation :) RosalieMaryRose

[@RosalieMaryRose]

+MrNesscity yes

[@thaoanne3307]

You don't have to worry about male's next generation. 'Cause they always have been taught that.

[@ameliadeering8843]

just because a talk isn't concerning the male gender doesn't mean its antimale. For God's sake, not everything has to be about you. I watched a different TED talk about refugees - I'm not one - but I don't get all pissy about it, because although it isn't about me, I can still learn from it.

[@dallymoo7816]

[@julieberney9435]

Amelia D you're right

[@낭차기]

Thank god for this comment. What's wrong with the guys above? I got really shocked with that stupid comments.

[@unf3z4nt]

Amelia D Try replacing the words women, girls and females with their male counterparts....

[@Enrique-peralta]

How hard is it to put children instead of girls cause ppl are taking sides

[@roberthansen2008]

I am a blind guy and am held up to this ridicule of being perfect. I claim progress, not perfection. Bravery is better.

[@yangene]

I salute your bravery. Hope you're chasing your dreams!

[@CM-bk3to]

This has changed and inspired me because I can identify. In my class there are more boys than girls, they always are who raise their hand when the teacher asks someone to read, even if they aren't fluid when doing so, they are the ones who ask silly questions and nobody complains; but when a girl fails or doesn't do something right they are the ones who laugh or mock us.

[@ummeaiman8058]

I'm gonna be a different girl from now on!!!!!!!!!! I'll be brave and ask questions to my teachers that I never have done before.!

[@itsritika3561]

More power to you!🤍..go for it..and you know what you will always got to learn.. no matter how many times you fail or win...🧿

[@emilybchen]

It was surprising to see so many dislikes on this video--I think a lot of people are misinterpreting her point. This video is about encouraging women. While it may be seen as stereotypical to assume that all boys are raised to be brave, and all girls are raised to be perfectionist, the point she's trying to make is that within our culture there is much more pressure on women to be perfect: appearance-wise and in their work. Of course there are going to be exceptions. Of course there are girls who find it easier not to adhere to societal expectations--but there are not nearly enough girls like that. The speaker is saying that if we lift the expectation of perfection off of girls' shoulders, it will encourage more of them not to be scared. Last note: this talk is not 'anti-male'. (A confusing part of the talk was her using the word 'teach' when referring to social expectations.) The point is that we should start encouraging girls for the same things that boys have been encouraged for since the beginning. By no means did she advocate that we should discourage boys for anything, or that they don't struggle under expectations of their own.

[@emilybchen]

+DIVAD291 Yeah, I get what you're saying...and it's not a matter of competition, either. There's pressure to be perfect on both genders, just for different reasons.

[@DIVAD291]

Emily yes there is pressure to be perfect on both genders but women are barely scratching the surface of what men have to deal with. just because both deal with the same concept doesnt mean its equal.

[@emilybchen]

DIVAD291 I'm assuming you're a man? Just like how I will never experience what struggles men have to deal with, I doubt you will fully understand those of women. I think we have to give each other the benefit of the doubt here. Like I said, it's not a competition of who struggles more. The struggles of one group doesn't invalidate those of another group--they all need to be acknowledged.

[@DIVAD291]

Emily also i disagree that the struggle of one group doesnt invalidate the others...in the real world the solution to almost every problem is time and money and since women have been yelling the loudest for help they get it over men. we dont have infinite ressources and giving time and money to women really does mean you arent giving time and money to men and vice versa. at which point its very important to determine who needs help the most so it turns into a competition.

[@DIVAD291]

Emily also from an evolutionary perspective its fairly obvious that men are under more pressure to perform at basically everything that isnt looks.

[@evgeniya6586]

It was so inspiring! I am the girl who was raised to be perfect, and this is a huge problem for me. Sometimes I'm just so afraid of being not good enough. And I'd better not try at all(((. After your talk I started thinking that there'll never be a perfect moment, and I shouldn't be the perfect person. Thank you for this amazing information.

[@許珮紘]

I have never realized the fact you discribed is actually happening everywhere until I watch this video about your speech. You are telling some normal phenomen which can easily be neglected by girl, even everyone. Thank you for your talk, which make me find out the thing that block myself on the way to success,may sometimes be myself.

[@chavachan727]

Why r yall so triggered she mentioned in the first 5 mins that boys r alrdy taught to be brave so why not girls as well? I dont see any conflict, I only see encouragement

[@manehbag732]

It just seems like society more and more is waiting to pounce on somebody for any little thing. It's horrible. Stop it yall!

[@HR-yd5ib]

If a lack of bravery prevents women from going into tech then why were they brave enough to enter fields like medicine or biology? Women have been encouraged to go into tech for the last 40 years but to no avail. Not because of bravery but because women are by a standard deviation more interested in people than in machines.

[@jey1834]

@@HR-yd5ib obviously because they are female dominated

[@HR-yd5ib]

@@jey1834 , there were no female MDs 120 years ago. Yet somehow women magically managed to move into that field.

[@楊宸瑄]

Through this video, I realized that I tend to demand perfection from myself, hesitating to try or make mistakes. I always feel the need to meet a certain standard before I have the courage to complete something. After listening to this speech, I told myself to give myself more space-to stop striving for perfection all the time and instead have the courage to keep trying, learning from mistakes, and progressing. Only then can I achieve my dreams. I’m grateful to the speaker for encouraging women, and I hope that other women facing similar challenges can bravely embrace their true selves and contribute boldly to both their lives and society!

[@SharkWitchMeruna]

I bought her book because of this. I’m not super smart but I try. I am learning how to code and love learning how things work (even if I’m bad at math and my study habits are rusty). She is a true inspiration!

[@좋아미니]

This gave me a chance to think about how l was obsessed with perfection and how little it means, from now on l'll try even if l will fail cause l'm proud.

[@garbrah180]

These comments are so sickening. the majority of women who realize their self worth and want to surpass the glass ceiling, this is an important video for them to watch. Being brave IS important in this society. having more females who are brave WILL increase productivity in our society

[@StigHelmer]

+Auj G Women have it much easier to be hired and to get promoted in stem field. That's why the expression glass elevator is more suitable.

[@garbrah180]

women don't have it easier that's just unbelievably inaccurate. we still have a lot to even out the playing field. for example, women are not paid the same wages as men in equal job positions..

[@StigHelmer]

Auj G Really, the wage gap myth? If women do the same job and for the same time they are payed equally. Been like that since the 1960s.

[@garbrah180]

thats not true. it's still an on going concern that here in Canada the Prime Minister is working on. Programs like this that this Ted talk was mentioning is so essential for girls to know that they can do more. because at a young age we do believe that we have an expectation. it's breaking the chain

[@lockandloadlikehell]

@@garbrah180 What job pays a woman less for the same position?

[@snowpunk116]

As someone who teaches code and works as a professional programmer, I really appreciate this talk.

[@Bassist10288]

I tell my baby girls they're beautiful, of course. But way more often I tell them are courageous and brave. Challenge them. Encourage them. Already my 4 year old is incredibly strong of spirit and I love that about her.

[@nobody9621]

I felt lighter when i knew that i don't have to allow myself to being so perfect, and learned to getting used to accept mistakes. That realization managed to make myself doing what i love without any doubt, and work sincerely every day. But the hard part is to keep this mindset to stay for a long time, moreover i've been teached by my mom to be perfect at what i am doing since i was a kid, which something that makes me hard to change. And now i'm back again to watch these kind of videos and decided to make it as part of routine, so that it always remind me of how perfectionist i am. Sometimes i'm grateful to know that these kinds of videos exist on KZbin. Hope someday i can be a new better person without having to listening to these videos again.

[@oxygen4leadership]

Wow, Reshma Saujani's TED Talk on "Teach Girls Bravery, Not Perfection" really struck a chord with me. 😮👏 It's eye-opening to think about how we tend to raise girls to strive for perfection while encouraging boys to be brave. Reshma makes a powerful point that we can't afford to leave behind half of our population when it comes to innovation. It's a call to action for all of us to support and empower young women to embrace imperfection and step out of their comfort zones. 💪🌟 So, let's take Reshma Saujani's words to heart and spread this message far and wide. Let's encourage every young woman we know to be comfortable with imperfection, to take risks, and to pursue their passions fearlessly. Let's embrace "PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION". Together, we can help create a world where bravery and innovation know no gender boundaries. 🌍🚀💜

[@auroragloqueen4979]

I believe young girls are afraid to make errors due to criticism and a lack of self esteem. Teaching coding and computers to girls can help raise their self esteem, and they can feel just as intelligent as boys in this field.

[@Valuofnature]

They’ll feel like contributors in todays world

[@planetmikusha5898]

Forget computer science -- teach young girls to study whatever they damn well please in university!

[@Jelly-qwerty]

I don’t think I’ve been “socialized” for anything. My cognition, desires, and personality is sovereign to me.

[@Sylocat]

Don't read the comments, don't read the comments... *scrolls down* Why did I do that?

[@Miranox2]

Oh noes people disagreeing with muh feminism

[@stanleyguzman694]

+Miranox oh noes I don't want to see people bitching about the evil feeemalezzzz

[@stanleyguzman694]

+Miranox and essjaydubleyaaaz

[@g_glop]

+Rabbit Cube Don't post a comment, don't post a comment... *posts comment*

[@lucialvk]

felt exactly the same! what's going on with all the people commenting? where does all this feminist hate come from??

[@LJ-wl8yd]

「Women have been socialized to aspire to perfection and they’re overly cautious」This sentence gave me a great inspiration. As a woman, I often feel the unfairness that society imposes on women, but we can still be brave, chase our dreams, and be ourselves.

[@luve5369]

This talk impacted my life . My dream was to be a doctor , but I always thought I had to be perfect to even attempt to apply . After my Batchelor's I got a masers and even with my 3.9 GPA I didn't think I was good enough... I was not perfect . After watching this I started to take more risks, I changed the way I looked at life . So what if I don't make it ?? I thought . The worst thing is that I don't get in, but at least I tried . So finally applied for medical school, and yes I got in. I realized all I he to do was be courageous and know I did not need to be perfect, but just brave.

[@AradhnaKrishna]

Brilliant talk and absolutely true. I was a developer and just became a business analyst. Even though others call me brave, I went through the "perfection or bust" situation where rather than show my boss what I did, I deleted everything and asked him for help from scratch

[@xiaoyun_yang]

Why are there so many dislikes for this video and why are so many comments about feminism? This video is not about feminism at all. There's no "women's rights" being discussed here. This video is more of a message to young girls and women and it's not about gender inequality. In fact, the speaker very clearly established equality in that women are just as capable as men. It's not always about feminism when someone draws a comparison between men and women.

[@ivanelizalde1871]

It really isn't In fact I would say this video is anti feminism and feminists should watch it and try to change the way girls are being raised rather than claim that women are loosing out on jobs because of sexism.

[@anneyaa]

It made me realize how societal pressures push girls toward perfection instead of bravery. Her message is empowering, encouraging girls to take risks and embrace failure as part of growth. It’s a powerful reminder to redefine success and nurture confidence.

[@buzhichun]

The sun shines. Birds fly. Flowers bloom. A TED video about women or minorities has a comment section raging about how "SJWs"/"feminazis"/ are destroying TED and/or the world.

[@Rttt-xf6vw]

Some girls often feel they are not perfect enough, but in fact, as long as they love themselves more, have confidence, and be brave, they are the most amazing people in the world.

[@retrouvaille3617]

Thank you, Reshma. This is moving and really inspirative. Wish I knew this sooner, but age 16 is still young enough!

[@lovedbysome5402]

I'm sixty-five years old, and I am still learning to be brave. Of course, it always raises eyebrows, and my family never knows what to make of me. I am an outsider, but I am aware of how it helps those who come after me.

[@sonatak304]

So true. There is such a discrepancy between what we are willing to accept from girls vs boys. Thanks for talking about this!

[@楊靚]

Originally, I can feel your helplessness in your early life, but soon I clearly see your brave to speak out for women and girls.

[@lynnharper308]

I picked up your book at a used book sale at the library. I'm only a little bit into it but I love it. As a trans woman i struggle constantly with trying to be feminine enough. Im not brave at all, I pretend to be but I'm scared, especially now with my community being hated and falsely accused so much. Hopefully I'll be better by the time I finish your book 💙

[@iona447]

I want to stand up one day and speak to people about world issues like the strong woman in this video! That's my dream...

[@lalalalera]

Thanks to Ted Talks for uploading more feminist videos like this. The true meaning of feminism, equality. Some people should look up the definition in a dictionary. All the negative comments and dislikes only reinforces what she said and tells you something about the Internet, I ignore them. Will definitely be sharing this with my family and will strive to raise strong, brave women in the future. Looking forward to more inspirational talks both incorporating feminism/equality and other topics. From my experience as a woman this was spot on. Thanks!

[@imskiller99]

Keep drinking your koolaid my dear

[@CrevanEmbrust]

+LeraLera I bet the view looks great from where you sit.

[@christinawang1031]

I showed my daughter and she said she was so inspired!

[@theworldeatswithyou]

This isn't even about feminism and people are already losing their minds.

[@chris-tx2sw]

Yes yes it is

[@SpacemanXC]

+Muzik30 She didn't say it directly. But claiming the results of those tests are dictated by social conditioning rather than biological dimorphism, is absolute feminist/sjw horseshit. Give those girls testosterone, then run the same tests. Lets see if everyone is willing to applaud her unsubstantiated claims again.

[@TheGerogero]

+Karlo Schallibaum You are a remarkably oblivious unicorn.

[@chris-tx2sw]

***** sorry did i trigger you

[@oontgrad]

+SpaceManDawn And you are saying it is all biological dimorphism and nothing to do with social conditioning. Can't it be both? How do you know social conditioning has nothing to do with it?

[@winnie-fp2qd]

This video touched me deeply. As a woman, my childhood education really made me face problems that I didn’t dare to face challenges.

[@aysetasdemir98]

I really liked this video and the ideas she had to share, and it's not about bashing men, she talks about raising our girls just as we do our boys, so it's about equal treatment! This woman has some great ideas to share and if you don't like them, fine you don't have to agree but it's very rude to say it's bullshit. Be respectfull!

[@Spazzboy911]

" she talks about raising our girls just as we do our boys" bullshit, boys re falling behind academically. women are outperforming men in university and earning more (worthless) degrees.

[@good104]

Men and women are not same, nor are they equal. They never were, and they won't ever be. God (or nature) created us like this. Accept it and continue to live without disturbing the nature. Else, the future could be devastating.

[@jacqulinemushi5849]

Very true i wonder how people judge it negatively..

[@aryakalantri5274]

I very much agree

[@user-fu7md1ej1r]

As a woman, I saw myself from her speech and found that I was not brave enough. There were many moments when I didn't dare to open my mouth or raise my hand because of shame. In the past, I never realised that it was wrong. I think I will try to be braver.

[@AwesomeAcademyWithAngelie]

Totally watched this after reading her empowering book "Brave, Not Perfect"! Thanks for your bravery, Reshma!!

[@juliacamelo496]

thank you very much, i started to cry when i read the title. I'm Brazilian and throughout my life I've always tried to be perfect in everything, but especially in studies, I was always frustrated if I didn't get 10 and only 9, and I always envy the boys because they always managed to do whatever they want and people still are fine with that, but i could never make a single mistake. Or for example, when I entered a male-majority field like programming/engineering, I always thought I had to be the best or I would never be good enough at it and I should give it up. But now, I'm starting to think it's okay not to be perfect.

[@refiloendlovu6518]

I wish i could dislike all the dislikes personally. They're so close-mimded! And mostly men😑 She's not saying every single thought process of a girl is perfection over risk. She's saying, we limit ourselves *sometimes* because perfection should be the only possible outcomes and if not then we sometimes throw in the towel. I grew up climbing walls, trees, running too hard or rough, but I wasn't necessarily boyish or something. I was quite girly actually. So obviously when she says boys jump from high head first, I didn't relate. But Ted talks aren't about relating to 100% of a speech. They're about finding the aspect where you need self improvement and tweeking it in you!!! I did coding in my first year. I hated it so much and I honestly didn't even do a project that contributed to 25% of my final mark. I didn't even try. And sometimes I got somethings right and surprised myself but most of the time I'd rather not. Now that I think about it. I was just like the girl who showed nothing, except clicking undo on my attempts wouldn't even reveal anything. The fear that I wouldn't get it right scared me more than trying. And the guys around me and maybe one or two girls actually had the courage to ask where the code may have went wrong. I feared doing so because I didn't want the teacher to be surprised by my imperfections I guess... Don't fucking tell me about biology because if that were the case, then men would take risks 100% of the time and women would play it safe 100% of the time. And that's not so, the potential is there! I REALLY like this talk!!!! There is some truth to this. Not 100% accuracy but there is some truth to this. You guys have cluttered the comments section!!!! 👎

[@鯛魚-b8x]

I am not a brave person, and I often quail from doing something because of my imperfections, but now I know that I should be brave enough to do what I want to do.

[@Mikelafication]

She speaks the truth. As a young woman in STEM, I find myself trying to be perfect instead of taking risks despite my imperfections.

[@loulicious5882]

My dad sent me this a year ago and it broke into tears and working on being brave and making him and mom proud. I hope I come back to this video one day

[@nofrojo4503]

At 4:15 you say that girls routinely outperform boys in every subject. shouldn't that be a problem to deal with?... or at least discussed?

[@squareyes1981]

+NoFroJo It's only a problem when men outperform women which is clearly society's fault and has to be equalised. When vice versa, applause is necessary.

[@vivianvasquez9355]

It should definitely be discussed; both should be

[@TheSolaceOfSilence]

It should be discussed because women are highly achieving grades but still don't fill as many higher roles in society as their grades suggest, so that's the question we need to be asking.

[@TheSolaceOfSilence]

Oh hush. Stop strawmanning. You know people are still discussing why boys are underachieving, and it's mostly because of misbehaving in class being young boys lol, which you can say is "idolizing feminine behaviour" but it's really just teaching kids to be quiet, listen and learn. In university, the grades equalize between genders anyway.

[@thelonesurvivor3955]

Kanna boys need physical education and a decent recess,they also need to play rough.

[@三甲25曾馨]

A woman's bravery is not only about facing external challenges, but also about having the courage to confront her own inner world and break through her own limitations. I will move forward in this direction.

[@haneenalsulami5626]

Thank you so much for this beautiful speech i am from Saudi arabia , you don't know how much we hurting every day by telling us that we are so weak and we are just half of the man and we have to grow just to get married and have kids then die !! 💔

[@hannanehpourrashid6926]

I am from Iran. But I wanna think differently and I am trying so! Keep going deer

[@claireshen8480]

To be everyone‘s perfect girl that girls are often told to be nice and polite. But no one is perfect. Being brave enough to be yourself is the most important thing

[@andresafernandes7585]

Me emocionei muito! É assim que me sinto e me senti por muitos anos, principalmente com relação a matemática, porque eu sempre achei que havia um problema comigo, mas agora com uma mente mais madura e com tantas referências, eu sigo mudando essa chave na minha cabeça e sigo construindo um novo repertório para a minha vida. Em um futuro próximo, me formarei em ciência da computação e também estarei mais segura para errar, tentar, acertar, errar de novo... Porque é dessa forma que aprendemos na vida e na programação. Vai ter mulher codando sim

[@carol-i9j]

Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt story that made me deeply reflect on my obsession with perfection. This video reminded me that the value of life is not in perfection, but in being true to ourselves and accepting who we are. I’m truly grateful and feel empowered to face life with a new perspective!

[@raisarainha6767]

This is great. Happy international women’s day, ladies! ❤️ we rock!

[@napiltree5917]

Your book really gravitated to me. I really want to be a microbiologist. However, I have little raw talent in anything not related to art, so I often contemplate, “How am I going to start? I want to get a microscope, but what if I end up being disinterested in the field later on? Will it have been a waste of money? What if I’m not good enough?” Raw talent is great, but even with that, diligence and persistence is the key to achieving anything. Sadly, I often forget this. I’m a perfectionist, so your speech was painfully relatable. I never realized how girls are told to take less risks and stay comfortable until reading your book. Because of those subconscious ideas planted into most minds for centuries, many, including me, are afraid to fail. I want to protest for global issues like the Uighur concentration camps and the Arctic Crisis with others, but I feel scared to slip my words and weaken the cause. Basically, I’m afraid to educate myself, which is quite contradicting to what I want to do. I’m really trying to overcome these thoughts by collaborating with my classmates on making a social media page for encouraging nonviolent protesting and doing activism using art(we’re still in the process of establishing everything). Thank you for helping me come to this realization.

[@Augustchica814]

This video was spot when it comes to my life. I can't speak for every girl, but I have felt this way growing up. I would drop classes or get turned off by things because I failed on the first try. I had to learn how to stick with it and take risks on my own; I didn't have anyone teach me.

[@MrDivinity22]

I mean I do get what you are saying but does "trying harder" really imply "taking risks" (and therefore being brave) necessarily (or even mostly)?

[@MrDivinity22]

well let me add to this by saying that I do support teaching (some) kids to be braver, but it shouldn't be only girls. there are enough boys who could use some of that too. What my previous question was meant to say is that being brave and stupid risk-taking are 2 completely different things and I hope people don't take her first story as a good example. If all the experts tell you not to do something, you probably shouldn't do it just because you are/ want to be brave.

[@Sarahmariecampbell]

I used to pursue perfection very much before, and little mistakes made me want to give up. But I found it rewarding to go a bit further even if you have to adopt yourself again and again, and the benefits are unclear in the short run.

[@Magicstuffandthings]

The comments on pretty much every Ted talk on social issues and/or talks by women consistently make me sad and reaffirm my belief we still need these talks.

[@DeconvertedMan]

+Magicstuffandthings Is reaffirming beliefs are better then finding truth?

[@Magicstuffandthings]

No just dismissive and unnecessary opinion (which is not to say that opinions and especially contradictory opinions are unnecessary just that are unfounded, possibly offensive in order to shut down discussion of real issues to 'protect' themselves and the social system which has served them well mostly) in response to actual lived experiences of people passionate and informed in the area. But yeah I don't feel like I'm gonna learn any great saddening truth from youtube comments only angry people that make me sad.

[@DeconvertedMan]

Magicstuffandthings Try learning informal logic - it has helped me a great deal.

[@Magicstuffandthings]

Informal logic?

[@DeconvertedMan]

Magicstuffandthings Yes. I'd recommend: Informal logic a pragmatic approach by Douglas Walton

[@以琳楊-h1l]

This speech deeply resonated with me, highlighting the importance of courage, especially in embracing imperfection and perseverance. Teaching girls to be brave can not only change their futures but also bring more innovation and possibilities to society. This is a change we all need to work toward!

[@darkdefender6384]

I have a daughter I love more than anything. Thank you for this! life-changing!

[@友則黃]

Although I’m not a woman, I do need a little courage to be brave. Thanks for inspiring me through this talk!

[@malucampos2329]

This hit me so hard, i just cried

[@Kadulikan]

I'm afraid to raise my hand. "I don't want to be wrong." Ah yes, because males are completely exempt from fearing failure and peer pressure. Maybe it's because I didn't grow up in the 80's, but for me people have always expected perfection. I remember my father asking me why I was making B's instead of A's when I was 8 years old.

[@maureenwm]

This is so true, I struggle with being brave in the workplace while my male colleagues take risks easily and so they get promotions faster.

[@autumnrose444]

This video is in my liked videos playlist which I put on shuffle almost every day. This video came up tonight, one night before my first show ever. I've been playing music all my life but have just recently gained enough confidence to share with others. Thank you, Reshma and TED for publishing this talk and educating the people.

[@beatrizs3411]

This is exactly what I needed. Such a powerful speech, we indeed need more bravery in this world. I wish the best of success to Reshma and to Girls Who Code!

[@謝佳緯-v1h]

I like it very much, she says that girls are loved not because they are perfect, but because they move forward

[@jo_sco]

I didn't realize how true this is until now... Damn

[@pigpower1189]

Joanna Scott what specifically?

[@jo_sco]

Pig Power the parts about just trying to get it perfect the first time and the part about applying for jobs where i don't meet 100% of the qualifications. I thought it was normal

[@pigpower1189]

Joanna Scott i am a male and also try to get stuff right the first time but i can not yet comment on jobs, i am too young.

[@marilynjane]

*great content, congrats!!*

[@mexicanburrito2979]

I was taught as a catholic boy that homosexuality was wrong. Yet, with my own brain, I believed that everyone had the right to love whoever they wanted to. People have the ability to choose their own way, even if someone has pushed them towards another. How are you suppose to raise "brave" girls if you are going to hold their hand through everything?

[@TheLivirus]

+MexicanBurrito Let's not pretend it's either one or the other. We are both shaped by our social environment to a large extent but we are also reasoning individuals. However naturally if we want to promote a social change we cannot wait around for individuals to spontaneously change themselves. Also, the idea that everyone has the right to love whoever they want to love is not original and I find it unlikely that you arrived at this conclusion independently but were probably influenced by other sources than the Catholic Church.

[@cranstonsmandible4984]

She is a brave, smart woman who inspires me to be a brave and smart woman. =)

[@AvgJane19]

Bender Doblador Rodriguez all those things happen graduate of how society treats them, not some internal misgivings

[@saytax]

bj0rn social environment? You mean human evolution and a natural order and dichotomy of the gender roles that's been evident since the dawning of society?

[@user-sf7qz5kg3b]

when using the argument of ''love is love'', homosexuality becomes an easy target for *incest* comparison

[@柯斾而]

In her TED talk, Reshma Saujani emphasized teaching girls to be brave, not perfect. She believed that bravery allows girls to take risks and learn, rather than being limited by standards of perfection. Her speech gave me great strength.

[@jkotynek]

Thank you Reshma for this talk, and your book. I'm reading your book now with my daughter, who wants to get into Tech.

[@alejandragomez3726]

I am a girls who code alumni and now I work as a software engineer :)

[@UltraRik]

I am male and I can relate to 99% of what she said about girls

[@yangene]

well, I hope you've been brave and are chasing your dreams!

[@UltraRik]

@@yangene i definitely am..!

[@WillSpencer0417]

True, it would improve the mindsets of so many, if people would be taught to be brave instead of being pressured to be perfect every single time in life.

[@mohdaamir1552]

This is amazing..! It reminded me of many situations in my life where I was pressured of being perfect because I am a girl... According to them, I needed to be perfect because I was born in a society where women are only taken in attention when they are at the top...they needed me to do so to have a better life...and to an extent I even believed it..but after watching this, a lot of my perceptions have changed and I think I am ready with an answer if someone says the same statement again

[@dv0008]

Love your message, Loving your book! Thank you for expressing it so well.

[@debdras]

Ladies and gentlemen, this talk is not exhaustive, but it is valid. Just because it does not cover all the sides of gender issues in society (which are probably too many to cover in one TED talk), it does not mean it is lying. I see myself 100% on the girls she describes, exactly as she describes them, and therefore I believe she has a point. There are many like me, and all of the others ones I can think of that suffered the same issues are overprotected straight As girls. People are people, and men and women share similar issues in many, many cases. I am sure there's tons of boys going through similar issues! I know it. We are people. The trend she describes, however, is true in my personal experience. Anybody getting As all the time does not perfectly equal success later on in life, and many times it is the people that fail terribly at school that learn from failure and move on to greener pastures in adulthood. That doesn't mean other examples aren't real. That doesn't mean other realities aren't valid. Just because she isn't covering every side and detail doesn't mean she should shut up. She didn't reach her conclusions out of the blue. I am proof of that, sadly, and so are the boys and girls she speaks of in the video. In order for us to get a good grasp of reality we are going to need much more viewpoints, experts, and examples. Before you conclude she is biased, listen to her. Just listen. You don't have to agree. Please, listen.

[@maggiex991]

I loved the comparison with boys asking someone out on a date! I live in Italy and here (but I heard that in other countries is not the same) it’s pretty common opinion that it should be only boys (man) job, and if a girl tells that the asked a guy out many people will be really surprised about how “brave” (maybe not in a good way) she is... and if she gets a refusal, she will be seen really more like a loser that if a guy did... I heard many times the sentence “if a guy gets a refusal, never mind, but if it’s girl, that’s very bad” ... of course it’s a different topic than women pursuing jobs in STEM, but I believe there is a common way of thinking

[@昀臻-x3x]

Very shocking. For me, who is a girl myself, it's a brave thing to be a different version of myself. I will share it with my friends who know about this beautiful speech.

[@Face6099]

Ignoring the fact that most people will dislike the video on principle, I think the message is worthwhile. Teaching girls bravery is actually a vastly different statement as opposed to what's happening in the feminism world otherwise, i.e. drugging young boys to make them less 'masculine', whining and whinging about the lack of rights and patriarchy etc. I know where most of you fellas are coming from but this is actually not a detriment to anything.

[@user-ny1wo1vp9r]

Drugging young boys to make them less masculine? That's some conspiracy theory bullshit!

[@Rookie_Rockounding]

This is such a massive generalisation. Gender plays no role in how confident persistent or brave children are. I work with children and in class the lack of bravery is evenly spread between both boys and girls. It should be that we need all children to be brave, by building a growth mindset for both genders. Not just boys or girls.

[@yangene]

Well, of course, I think that's what her talk is about. We gotta teach our children that they can make mistakes as long as they stand right back up

[@amaniyanssaneh8827]

Fantastic job, and incredible powerful speech. Thank you so much Ma’am

[@洛語曦]

Few people teach girls that they should try and fail rather than pursue perfect result.After I watched this video,I reflected my own experience.Maybe I should try the taste of failure.

[@itsTERIYAKI]

I can relate to not participating by asking questions in class, I never want to feel like I'm the only one not understanding what's going on

[@megan31646]

Agreed.

[@mcpielover]

+Terri Calhoun Me too.

[@padraigsd]

+Terri Calhoun 'Girls get better grades in everything" Thats not the problem the problem is that according to her girls are taught to be "perfect" whatever that means.

[@itsTERIYAKI]

+padraigsd i never said i agree with everything she says and its not the same for every person. But for me personally asking questions was something i struggled with in school. But from what ive noticed growing up guys were not as pushed to have the best grades generally. A girl i knew got a B on an assignment and damn near cried.

[@ADUSEI6111]

+Terri Calhoun U do realize that a human thing right, its not a gender thing, some ppl are jus shy or they don't want 2 be viewed a unintelligent

[@YT-pg2gd]

Such an eloquent description of some of the societal barriers that prevent women flourishing. Thank you for a great and inspiring talk. However, I do wish that helping others to achieve their full potential might one day be discussed in a way that highlights their inherent right to do so, and inherent value, rather than for economic gains.

[@MrRishik123]

We need smart people in board rooms no matter what the gender. Pushing for one over the other is stupid and in a way downright sexist.

[@oontgrad]

+Mr Rishi The Cookie Well there are currently less women, is even acknowledging that sexist?

[@MrRishik123]

+oontgrad no. Is not the acknowledgement that is the issue. It's the people like her pushing for quotas for businesses to meet for the number of executive positions that women occupy compared to men. These laws are preventing businesses from hiring the more able men that applied for the same position but didn't get it because quotas. Its the fact that simply less women apply to stem fields so they get to go with a huge scholarship if they get on the course at university. And it's now easier for them to get on those courses because grade boundaries are lowered. All this is because of what's between their legs. The video forgets to mention stats and just says anecdotes (however prevalent they may be) if it were approached with the scientific method then there may be a course of action planned. What this lady also forgets also forget is that mothers tend to raise daughters so if anything its the mothers fault and the whole speech she low key blames the patriarchy.

[@oontgrad]

Mr Rishi The Cookie She blames society, never uses the term patriarchy. She never suggests quotas. This is what you do, you assume the worst about every feminist. Companies institute quotas themselves to seem more open, they are not law. The law actually says hire the most qualified person, but you cannot systematically hire only a certain group if all are equally qualified. Also, does the lowering of grade boundaries have to do with women? I didn't think so. There is also a provable bias against women in distributing grants and scholarships, so I don't care that there are some scholarships for women only.

[@MrRishik123]

+oontgrad I said "people like her." Also Look her up she has been on panels and pushed for such things as affirmative action. Also it is just another kind of discrimination. I would argue that a system based on affirmative action law does not encourage hard work and commitment, but rather motivates people to try to fit themselves into protected groups. Neither the protected nor the non-protected group perform at their best, which results in a loss to society as a whole. it's an imperfect tool. I think the more interesting question is, what is the alternative? In a lot of fields, there is a gender bias, where men are seen as more qualified and/or tend to be and get hired, raises and promotions more easily and frequently than women. This in turn leads to the men ending up with more qualifications ready for when they change their career. And many male-dominated fields stay that way because the lack of women discourages women who actually want to go into that field from going into it. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Forcing employers to hire women is a very blunt tool to remedy that, and one that can backfire in a variety of ways, but doing nothing seems problematic too. We humans tend to have a natural bias to prefer people who resemble ourselves, and when that is keeping people out of a field, that seems problematic. Some employers have a policy that, loosely speaking, you can't hire someone who's too similar to yourself. You have to step outside your comfort zone in some way. Perhaps the person you hire is a PoC. Perhaps they're of the opposite gender. Perhaps they just look different, perhaps they're fat and you're not. But straight white males wouldn't be allowed to just hire straight white males, for example. I think that's an interesting way to combat these biases, and it doesn't focus specifically on gender, and ensures that you still have a reasonably large talent pool to choose from. It means you have to overcome the natural bias to hire people like yourself. You have to pick someone different. On another note, I also think that employers too often just throw a tantrum and go "well, then I have to hire someone INCOMPETENT!" when told to hire more diverse people. Even in the most male-dominated industry, talented women do exist. If you're ordered to hire a woman, then, rather than looking at the two applications you got from women and picking the least crappy of those, how about actively seeking out the ones that are worth hiring and make them an offer which then will likely be more expensive for the business which mainly focus on profits. Or examine your hiring practices and figure out why so few women bother to apply for your positions, make your company more attractive. I dunno, the problem they're trying to solve is real. And I don't know of any perfect solutions. Quota systems mandating a certain percentage of women may be a way to kickstart change. Get more women into the company, so that in the future, more women will look at your company and go "I want to work there", so that, later down the line, the quota system becomes unnecessary. However, in that time, there may be a stigma of "she only got hired cos of whats between her legs." Which will be even harder to get rid off IMO. and so will be more damaging. I think that the scholarships for women only will cause a similar problem of "she only chose to go because its near free for her". It may also encourage women who may not have a real interest in the subject to go for it and coast through because of the lowered expectations. www.kcl.ac.uk/nms/WomeninScience/Women-in-Science-Scholarships.aspx Grades required to go to this uni is AAA compared to the regular A*AA. Thats why i find the system flawed. This is also only 1 of about 5 i know of in UK (because i live in it) and there are likely more.

[@kimberlybrabson4797]

I'm now a college student now and 52 years young, I want to learn how to code but don't know how. I would like for someone especially a female to teach how to code so badly. I want to make a difference in my community!❤

[@ardc4233]

This is so amazing. I felt this to my core, because I have done this. Thank you for this. No one is perfect we just need to be brave to fight for something and perservere

[@moi9036]

This TED talk is too impressive that make me have same feeling and thought a lot.

[@lillyarthur101]

This is an amazing message!

[@wcm5150]

A truly brave person never speaks of their bravery. Let that sink a little.