Teachers, what's the worst thing you've had to confiscate?

[@DavidFMayerPhD]

When I was a kid, ALL the boys carried pocket knives, and NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENED because of the knives. The worst was the carving of initials in desks.

[@arcanegale285]

in my elementary school pretty much every boy's initials were carved into a piece of either furniture or walls, often multiples it was kind of a rite of passage, like "this school will remember me" and well, mine still stands on the walls on the outside of the school where we have gym class during warmer weather

[@JasonAizatoZemeckis]

Yeah, that happens all the times with kids who are trained with hunting and guns too, but i want to know what happened that didnt include the knives

[@mamakevgaming7093]

Right. I remember my principal borrowing my knife to peel and cut fruit during our ag fruit sales. Never an issue. Always carried one and even when I’d get into fights knives not a big deal.

[@kaidanariko]

Are you Genx or boomer. Because with that survivor bias it has to be one of them.

[@annasstorybox7906]

Exactly what my grandpa told me and what was the case for after school freetime during my dad's childhood. Everyone had a knife. Mostly boyscout fixed blade types... People carved, used them as tools to open, cut and peel things or they did some knife throwing. Obviously they got into arguments but knifes stayed in their sheathes all the time even when argument ls became shoving matches or the one or the other punsh were exchanged. No one ever drew their knife in anger and even the fistfights ended without real injuries and a fair acceptance of winner and looser. Yes, it definitely happened that someone accidentally cut themselves but it was always known that it's not the knives fault but rather misfortune or a lack of caution. They all grew into responsible, mature and social adults fir to be an active part of society.

[@BunnyBeau_]

Still salty about this one: back in 6/7th grade I went out hunting partridge with my dad. He let me shoot his .22 and then i grabbed the shells off the ground just so i wasn't littering and such. I stuck them in the same hoodie that i wore to school the following monday. at recess i pulled them out of my pocket because i had forgotten they were in there, promptly sent to the principal, she threw them away and i got scolded even though they were completely empty spent shells.

[@JasonAizatoZemeckis]

I woukd be salty too man, something like that actuallt happened to me too, but it was with a carving knife, albeit, i do have a habit of carrying a few knives around to open boxes and cut vegetables, so its more concerning in my case

[@Flying_Shark_Bait]

Idk. I tend to disagree. Obviously this was a different time but like if someone were to come to my school today and accidentally bring in an empty shell the school should definitely still confiscate and give some type of scolding. It’s crazy dangerous in our time and it would make sense for them to do so.(just trying to say my opinion also this was a bit rushed so hopefully you may be able to understand the main idea)

[@Flying_Shark_Bait]

Also what I mean by disagree I mean it as if u sound like the punishment you got was crazy and doesn’t make sense and that’s where I would disagree

[@JasonAizatoZemeckis]

@@Flying_Shark_Bait that's true, but I think what he was really salty about was that it wasn't even his fault that the shells were in the same jacket he happened to be wearing, I can understand his situation, but you are completely right in the punishment and situation

[@annasstorybox7906]

​​@@Flying_Shark_Bait I'm from a country with pretty strict gun laws and I guess even here an empty shell wouldn't be an issue In fact empty shells aren't regulated by any law. One can just have them and it wouldn't even be illegal to hand an empty shell to a kid So I highly doubt I would even be confiscated as far as I can imagine. It's a piece of metal, not a dangerous object... But hey... I've heard US kids get in trouble for drawing a butt or for forming finger guns so.... Yeah... Apparently a piece of brass that would likely not even hurt when thrown at someones head is a big deal...

[@SailorLavender]

Story 4: That teacher was impressive to keep confiscated items for that long and know where it was years after the original promised return date.

[@misskitty8619]

Thank you... she taught him that there are consequences for his actions but also that she could be a trusted as an authority figure to keep her word. Honestly that's a good teacher I see all of these people saying things like why aren't the parents suing her you're clearly part of the problem not the solution😢 it's honestly so sad the good side of the story❤ not many people do that kind of stuff unless they truly care about the students and all these people are just whining that she's a in reality she's a grown woman who taught your adolescent that you clearly could not🎉bravo 👏 so weird the way people look at things let's sue her.. really?😢

[@CRlPPA]

I am an autistic teacher who used to teach back in ‘99. I once had to confiscate a used rubber that the students were throwing at eachother. A young man had complained that some of the “fluid” had gotten onto him. I also had another time there was a student who brought a feces covered pink 🍆 to class. The entire class kept complaining about a strange smell in the room. I traced to smell up to him and caught im in the act of playing with it in his bag. The smell was putrid. I had to confiscate it immediately. I later licked it to test if it was actually human feces and I reacted with pleasure and immediately shoved it up my

[@horion7271]

@@misskitty8619 What? She was an asshole. She took something a child cared just because "he played with it too much" not because it was forbidden or anything. And refused to give for years. Thats enough to kill a good hobby for a kid. Not even including she has no right to do. She shouldn't be teaching

[@Rock-Child]

Probably played with them

[@mkuti-childress3625]

Black widow spiders, anyone? I caught a 7th grader playing with them by his locker, letting them run all over his hands!!! I about had a heart attack, asked what on earth he was doing, and said he could get bitten horribly! His reply? “Oh, I do this all the time. They never bite me!” This kid would also rescue small animals and try to leave them in his locker until after school. The animals would always let him. I think some people actually have a Dr. Dolittle gene, and if that kid didn’t become a veterinarian, I’ll be very disappointed!

[@Thekingofcrab]

The beastmaster!!!

[@consumingkazoos]

@@Thekingofcrab master beast

[@Frenchboi-h7t]

Kids gonna become a warlord of the jungle lol

[@TheRealBlazingDiamond]

​@@consumingkazoos He doesnt need to worry too much about baiting the animals. He's the Master Baiter

[@NiaJustNia]

A vape from a 6 year old who found it down the couch at home (older sibling hiding it from parents) and thought it was a bubblegum scented air freshener and was passing it around the class for everyone to sniff. The other week, a "bracelet" was confiscated from a 9 year old. It was a piece of tape studded with tape thumbtacks to use as a weapon against anyone she deemed annoying or stupid.

[@BryantWalker-m6e]

If your in the U.S. self defense is legal, those are completely legal school items, are you dictating HOW STUDENTS TRANSPORT MATERIALS? Sounds like a case for the Supreme court.

[@NiaJustNia]

@@BryantWalker-m6e I mean the materials were stolen from the teacher's store cupboard, so it was never the student's materials. Also no, not US. It's also not self defence if you're making the first move to attack people. This kid made it to assault another child in the taxi home, because they figured they could get away with it if it was outside the school gate

[@thorodenson2070]

​@@BryantWalker-m6eself-defense is legal for adults not children. Independent on what state you live in depends on whether or not you're allowed to defend yourself any more democratic controlled States you don't have any rights. But thankfully here in Texas you have all rights I can literally walk down the road with a pistol on my hip a rifle over my shoulder a sword on my back and a switchblade in my pocket and be completely 110% legal. There Are the states that take away your rights make you less human my state doubles down on it😊

[@brambleheart]

Is nobody talking about how the teacher fully intended to keep an 8 year old’s cards for at least 3 YEARS? Extreme much. My parents would have rioted if that happened to me or my classmates!

[@zekova]

Seriously, wtf. These teachers are sabotaging any chance their students will respect them. -_-

[@Mysteriouscommebtor]

Yeah! And I’m pretty sure that was illegal

[@Linaelinaeya]

Actually at our school they never gave what they confiscated. A spinner, a toy car whatever it is no matter how innocent it is, if they take it you won’t get it back.

[@Mysteriouscommebtor]

@@Linaelinaeya Wow! That’s just asking for a lawsuit from angry parents

[@Linaelinaeya]

@@Mysteriouscommebtor it was pretty normal there actually, in most of the schools. Now that I think back of it, it’s awful actually.

[@thatoneedgelord]

The Halo story reminded me of how I ran a Minecraft SMP on my school's network but I thought ahead about the tech guys being able to revamp the network. During a school rally for the basketball team I snuck into the server room and hid a Lenovo laptop behind the server racks and plugged it in. That laptop was the host of the server. My little sister is a freshman there now and it's still operational and since none of the staff could figure out how to shut it down, the whole school gets to enjoy Minecraft

[@DortMC]

You….Are...A...FUCKING….GENIUS

[@CRlPPA]

I am an autistic teacher who used to teach back in ‘99. I once had to confiscate a used rubber that the students were throwing at eachother. A young man had complained that some of the “fluid” had gotten onto him. I also had another time there was a student who brought a feces covered pink 🍆 to class. The entire class kept complaining about a strange smell in the room. I traced to smell up to him and caught im in the act of playing with it in his bag. The smell was putrid. I had to confiscate it immediately. I later licked it to test if it was actually human feces and I reacted with pleasure and immediately shoved it up my

[@weirdanimations123]

@@DortMC RIGHT, THIS DUDE IS A GENIUS, MAY ASWELL HAVE HACKED THE SCHOOL AT THAT POINT!

[@jordanenby9734]

Holy cow that's awesome, is your sister now the Keeper of the Lenovo?

[@GhostBear3067]

When I was younger we just scooped bees out of trash cans with chip bags for the hell of it, no objectives beyond "put bee in bag".

[@lukejohnston5566]

Me too, we used Gatorade bottles. Only purpose was collection.

[@GhostBear3067]

@@lukejohnston5566 not a lot of Gatorade in Brazil in the 1990s. 😅

[@theojames2581]

Wait, why were they in trashcans?

[@GhostBear3067]

@@theojames2581 heck if I know, nor did I or any of my friends particularly care.🤷‍♂️

[@theojames2581]

Oh nice

[@TyrannoTeeth]

When i was in 6th or 7th grade (about 11-12 yrs old) we had a teacher confiscate a vibrator that some girl bought into school lmao. Not one of those little discreet ones you can stick in a pocket either-- it was big and purple and she brought it in a grocery store bag

[@GinaRanTruthEnforcer]

... what? what the fuck?

[@Endzone-production]

Wonder where she is now

[@ARKdeEREH]

When I was in 4th grade, my friend carried a moldy lunch in a Tupperware container around the playground at recess. He waved it in random kids' faces while saying "behold the mold." Eventually, a teacher saw him doing that and confiscated it.

[@JasonAizatoZemeckis]

Alas, lord mold has had his rites of passage usurped by feeble minded authorities, but i will not let his efforts be wasted, BEHOLD THE MOLD

[@TheShire26]

B E H O L D THE *M O L D*

[@3days_left]

Some cartoon villain.

[@Toaster6008]

@@TheShire26 B E H O L D THE M O L D

[@DortMC]

B E H O L D T H E M O L D

[@alluriusmusic]

Although it's terrible to hear about the kid and the lighter, I hope that the mother got a good kick back to Reality from the incident so it doesn't happen again...

[@TheMasqueraiden]

well she's probably dead, so.

[@shyguyissoawesomeguys]

​@@TheMasqueraidenwell. at least we can bet she won't let it happen again.

[@Its_Goobin_Time]

i love ads “and her response was- ‘HONKAI STAR RAIL IS AN ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL GAME-‘“

[@consumingkazoos]

do you actually play hsr tho. it's really nice

[@Its_Goobin_Time]

@ yes, yes i do. kafka main

[@jordanenby9734]

​@@Its_Goobin_Timeyesss!! Kafka is so cool

[@gnomeathome1736]

My freshman year of high school, an English teacher confiscated a book I brought titled "F*ck" (it wasn't even the full word, it had the 'U' covered up with fake white-out). I tried to explain to the teacher that the book was about the power of words, and how things like cuss words only have the power we choose to give them; how there is nothing inherently inflammatory about any particular arrangement of letters. The irony of her confiscating the book anyways was not lost on me (though it seemed to be lost on her)

[@PythonTheOrbWing]

𝕀 ℍ𝔸𝕍𝔼 𝕋ℍ𝔸𝕋 𝔹𝕆𝕆𝕂 📚

[@skellious]

When cooking you have many different things cooking at once, all of which need attention at various times. So each one gets it's own timer.

[@marypalmer1027]

I use a more intuitive approach to items on the stove. The only occasion a timer is needed is when I'm using the oven. Even then, am more inclined to use the sniff and peek method of baking. I've been cooking for over 50 years.

[@doctorwyvern9992]

I’m glad to hear that the kid in story 52 was able to get the encouragement to help him make good use of his talents. Too often we hear it going in the opposite direction where the kids are treated as misfits and potentially dangerous in some cases, which just destroys any bright future they may have had.

[@yas6616]

Story 20: That “friend” that told the gym teacher is such a POS.

[@mattsceilingfansandmore2573]

Well to be fair the "friend" thought he was joking

[@yas6616]

@@mattsceilingfansandmore2573 this is why you take life seriously not everything is clearly a joke.

[@damonminnix4660]

I thought the same. The staff really freaked out over nothing, too. The kid wasn’t doing anything, nor wanted to. Irritated me

[@chrish8111]

​@@mattsceilingfansandmore2573 right lol "i have a knife" the funniest fucking joke ive ever heard (sarcasm), right next to calling the teacher over to let them know

[@Psychology105]

Two liter bottle of Canada Dry. Full of piss. This student was in a class where it’s split by lunch. On returning from lunch, he’s keeping a really straight face. Very out of character. He slides into the chair, makes eye contact, and plants the Canada Dry on his desk. He tells me how he collected his urine at a friend’s house and just found it again. The color was so dark, sediments at the bottom. Just gross. He did try to wrestle it from me as it was confiscated. Luckily this story doesn’t have a messy ending. Later in the day he walks in, so proudly. He’d made me a pin, which I wore on my bag for years. It stated the date and “Never forget”, with an image of Canada Dry. I was so impressed with how quickly he designed and made it.

[@CRlPPA]

I am an autistic teacher who used to teach back in ‘99. I once had to confiscate a used rubber that the students were throwing at eachother. A young man had complained that some of the “fluid” had gotten onto him. I also had another time there was a student who brought a feces covered pink 🍆 to class. The entire class kept complaining about a strange smell in the room. I traced to smell up to him and caught im in the act of playing with it in his bag. The smell was putrid. I had to confiscate it immediately. I later licked it to test if it was actually human feces and I reacted with pleasure and immediately shoved it up my

[@ashleyferguson904]

Behold the piss

[@RandomHumanPerson100]

It would probably taste better than canada dry

[@consumingkazoos]

@@RandomHumanPerson100 bro has beef with ginger ale

[@RandomHumanPerson100]

@@consumingkazoos I do, I hate that disgusting drink

[@jamiegargano2898]

Back in like 5th grade a friend brought in a furby. Teacher told her to put it away, which she did. Then during "silent reading" about 3 hours later, all the sudden we all hear "woah! It's really dark in here" coming from the closet! 😳 Furby just decided to talk randomly! 😂 The class just started laughing and the teacher made my friend give her the Furby to put in the principal's office until the end of the day, just in case it went off again. I think it creeped her out LMAO The same teacher tried to tell my mom I couldn't read 'Goosebumps' books in class anymore because they were "unholy" my mom just said "this is a public school, my daughter is dyslexic and finally found books she actually wants to read, I'll buy her every one of those books and you WILL let her read them. You don't dictate what my child reads" 😂🤣

[@sophthetoast1997]

Matt Rose has gotta see this 💀

[@Mio96O-O]

0:44 my dad is a professional chef and he is addicted with collecting timers. I didn't know other chefs did that too 😭

[@Dr._Weiner]

Someone brought a hedgehog to my little sister’s middle school

[@whitelion7976]

Common when I was in school around autumn when they look for a place to hibernate. I found my dog barking at one in the garden. I made it a nice place to hide and hibernate in the garden shed. This was in Belgium during the 80s

[@0palOpal0pal]

Sonic...

[@JasonAizatoZemeckis]

Shadow?

[@PandoraFoxxBurlesque]

Oh that poor hedgie 😔 it would've been so cold and so stressed

[@3days_left]

Was he blue?

[@lolilya7938]

first one is kinda serving justice i think, i mean imagine not being allowed to have a BOX in class of all the random things

[@ExSharkV]

When I was in twelfth grade I had a teacher confiscate my container of saxophone reeds because she thought the were some kind of drug paraphernalia. She refused to believe that they were saxophone reeds because "you play flute in band what do you need reeds for," and trying to tell her that I played saxophone for the school's jazz band got me threatened with in-school suspension. I had to get the head of the school to get them back for me because I had roughly $40 worth of reeds in that container (which was like 6 reeds) and couldn't afford to buy more at that time. The teacher did get reprimanded.

[@adelerodriguez2432]

What number reed did you use?

[@ExSharkV]

I typically used a Vandoren 3.

[@adelerodriguez2432]

(@@ExSharkVI have used #2 for many years. I used them for my Eb alto and Bb clarinets. The Bb regular clarinet too. I used alto sax reeds on the Eb alto bc the lady at the music store kept trying to sell me Eb soprano clarinet reeds. I broke ligatures on a regular basis. Lol I use tenor sax reeds for my C-melody sax.

[@skybreak07]

So, I am a teacher. I believe this year, a student brought a cattle prod, or something to that effect. At our staff holiday party every year, they give away the confiscated items as joke gifts. Lots of vapes. Lighters. Sometimes pocket knives. Shirts with very inappropriate anime girls on them. The cattle prod was not there, sadly. There was, however, a kazoo.

[@TheShire26]

Kazoo person won

[@mkuti-childress3625]

Oh my God, all schools should do the confiscated item holiday gift exchange!

[@barfrodgers1202]

So you split up all the stolen property at the end of the year?

[@skybreak07]

@@barfrodgers1202 I mean, we can't give the vast majority of the items back to the kids because it's illegal for them to have it to begin with. It would most likely get tossed out otherwise. The only things I can think of that could be returned are the shirt and the kazoo

[@barfrodgers1202]

@@skybreak07 you stole a kazoo. Idk how you live with that tbqf

[@andrewwebb917]

If you're cooking more than 1 thing at once you need multiple tikers

[@JenniferMonimambo]

Or if you are cooking something that requires you to cook certain things simultaneously.

[@hungryhoss5895]

I was 7 years old and kicked off the buss for "Sexual Harassment." Me and my neighbor were playing pretend and I said "Rahh I'm gonna eat you!" Bus driver screamed at me to stop being a little pervert, Dragged me by the ear into the office, I was then screamed at by the principal for a good hour while we waited for my mom to drive the hour back to the school. I had to ask her at 7 years old what Sexual harassment meant. My mom had to explain to a 7 year old what sexual harassment was because our bus driver was herself a pervert and thought that two 7 year old kids were being sexual. The principal told my mom that "His only problem is he needs a Man(Father figure) in his life." That principal also quit because he told me I wouldn't graduate on time, and when I did, he went to work with his brother and is now sitting in federal prison for embezzling money from PACyber. :3

[@3lloGuvner]

wtf, they're the perverts for projecting anything sexual onto the words of a 7yo. shouldn't be working with children if they can't keep their minds out of the gutter

[@BioWorkAgency]

So you were assaulted (non-sexually) by your bus driver who thought that 2 kids under 10 years old were having sex in the bus? What the fuck.

[@brandonsummitt7579]

18:00 I grew up with an insulin pump as a diabetic. The chill factor of this kid is that most insulin pumps have to be replaced every 3ish days. I've had many get ripped out due to door handles. That small tube goes from the pump in your pocket to your belly. It still sucks and you typically need to get insulin within the next hour or two or you're going to have a rough day or two from blood sugars. That absolutely does not take away from how wrong that teacher was. All this to say, is that it is a relatively small price to pay if it gets rid of a really bad teacher.

[@adamcraig7707]

39:49 low quality plastic chairs with intentional holes in them and then you pop off one of the mask strings and saw back and forth through the plastic until you remove a chunk

[@BearFlagRep]

Baker here : we usually have several timers at work, and it's always not enough. Remember that in a kitchen, you're not cooking just one meal, but enough meals for a commercial amount of people. In a bakery, at any given time, there's things in the oven, bread dough rising, bread dough resting and needing to be "folded" at certain times, stuff you might want to take out of the fridge or freezer at a specific time (so it can rise in time for the after-work bread-buying rush here, for example), etc. I usually keep track of a lot of things in my head, but ringing timers do help. It's also helpful when your shift is over and the next baker has to keep track of it all. I suppose in kitchens it would be the same, with a lof ot meals and foods being cooked all at once.

[@adelerodriguez2432]

I never thought of that, but then again I am not a professional cook!

[@Sensansenkai]

Oh my god I DIED at the "lucky rabbit's foot" one XD

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

47:40 What kind of an idiot lets their kid play with mercury, especially a BUCKET OF IT

[@Findecommie]

Someone with the unique combination of being smart enough to know that simply touching elemental mercury isn't particularly dangerous and dumb enough to not realize that it very quickly becomes dangerous when particles are aerosolized, as could very easily happen during children playing with it

[@samtheking5759]

How do you even GET that much mercury lmao

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

@@samtheking5759 That's true, how TF did they get a whole bucket of mercury

[@KamisamanoOtaku]

For Story 34, bringing a hunting rifle to school was once pretty *normal.* So were school clubs involving firearms. Paradoxically, school shootings *weren't* as common.

[@midnighthope6029]

39:45 take a mask's string, hold the ends, and rub it back and forth over something really fast. source: was in a high school class full of troublemakers

[@D.S69]

Cool!

[@WitherslayR]

"Cracking jokes" is actually a good one

[@Max_Proto]

My mother and her friend, in a Home-Ec class, once made pot brownies for a project.... They got an A.

[@yeeteducation]

the turkey sandwich I brought to school was confiscated. they thought it was a euphemism because I saw “a girl’s knees” under one of the men’s room toilet stalls

[@Iuxinterior]

as a type one diabetic i gasped out loud at the diabetic story what the hell

[@MNcit]

This is not the first time I've run across this sort of story. One teacher was even told that it was a medical device, then snuck up behind the student and cut the wires.

[@llamawalrushybrid]

Something like this never happened to you?

[@ipupi8784]

ick ​@@MNcit wtf

[@lazyryan3766]

​@@ipupi8784That was probably a fake story. I mean, look at the wording

[@lazyryan3766]

​@@MNcitIf it's the story I think you're talking about, it's probably fake. I mean, look at the wording

[@jeannewilson1655]

The best is when your 4th graders think they're getting by with something on their Chromebook but you have the monitoring system running and you turn off their internet access. They look around wide-eyed and clueless, then start pounding on the keyboard. When they finally look at me, I just smile and shrug. They forget that closing the tab does nothing because the system records screen history.

[@am0ac1d277]

39:39 @undersparked i wasn’t from that school but ours did it too, we would pull off the strings that held the masks on your ears, and they were very very strong, so if you pulled them back and forth quickly enough at the right angle, they could pretty easily go through plastic and dent wood :3

[@96ethanh]

I got a good laugh out of the "let's go home device"

[@augustedozorec865]

Can you explain what “let’s go home” device means? I’m so confused and I can’t figure it out online

[@rileyoconnor2276]

@@augustedozorec865 getting kicked out of schoo;

[@feelinghealing3890]

I can see a chef needing multiple timers for like, a bunch of things happening at once.

[@kimhohlmayer7018]

My kid made one of those crossbows and it was amazing. He’s in his 20s now. Don’t think he builds things like that anymore.

[@clockworktri]

That 12yo's mom didn't care she was reading a manga with an SA scene because it "encourages her to learn about different cultures"??! ... I cannot comprehend

[@randomMSMtuber]

honestly respect for using your actual vojce instead of ai

[@Seth-w5z]

Story three is easily may favorite, these kids are so smart!!

[@stapuft]

Its ACTUALLY illegal for teachers to steal things from you. That's why they TRY and force you to willingly hand them over..... All you have to do is refuse to hand it over, then when the teacher steals it from you. You can sue they get fired and you win.

[@AWizardAndaMouse3432]

Story 44: my elementary school did the what’s in the sack poem for show and tell. And when the description “Darling Little Farm Boy” came up, it reminded me of myself. That may have been me, but I don’t remember much of my elementary school years. I have no clue, however.

[@KHTimeProtecter]

One OP: Gets her manga confiscated for a graphic scene. Me: Teachers buy me a volume of Fullmetal Alchemist for drinking a glass of green juice. (The volume where Sloth is fighting on the Promised Day.)

[@pantherosgaming1995]

Story 62: Mad respect to the engineering teacher for actually giving a good grade where it was definitely deserved rather than failing the student over a prank/joke. THAT is an engineering teacher with a damn good sense of humor and a good heart.

[@StarLightGem]

That fisrt kid was WILD, but yea, they need those timers to keep in track of multiple dishes at the same time, when you boil soup water you also gotta have another dish cooking etc, that's why pro chefs always use more than one timer

[@mmm1217]

This is amazing. Hilarious, and as always you put so much life and emphasis into the stories that it's a thrill to listen to. I think you said you're a drama student and voice actor or something in one of the videos? It definitely shows.

[@charityquill4965]

The story of the guy throwing eggs: it would be annoying to have to clean up, but i have to admire the commitment to thr pun 😂

[@DarkKnightofIT]

All the cooking savvy people I know have multiple timers for different things, some even have them labeled for specific uses, This one's for boiling things, this one's for frying things, this one's for baking things ETC.

[@silly-yamo]

Tell us the vodka story from 9:34 please!

[@robertdemare6140]

39:45 apparenetly the strings of the masks make pretty good saws... yeah i mean i never wouldve thought tbh, never tried it myself

[@ChozoSR388]

Story 24 reminds me of when I was in middle school, in '96. We had Apple PowerMacs at the time, and someone managed to get shareware versions both Quake AND Duke Nukem 3D on the homeroom PowerMac. Later learned that the Admin password for every single computer in the school was "Apple". I miss the '90s.

[@adamcraig7707]

8:44 a shank is literally the most basic weapon you could think up. its just sharp hurt make sharp if want to hurt

[@SplittKaupu]

this video really brings some interesting stories to light! it’s wild to think about the stuff teachers have to deal with. but honestly, i think the real issue is the lack of respect for boundaries these days. like, when did kids start carrying such crazy things to school? it makes me wonder if it’s a reflection of what's happening at home or in society.

[@illdeletethismusic]

chefs need to prepare lots of dishes at the same time, so they need lots of timers

[@matt1836]

1:31 that’s reminds me of that one teen titans go episode

[@ryangooseling]

Pretty phalic/ test tube shaped. 😅 The protein shot tastes pretty good, has a texture like unset jello and they're really convenient to carry in a backpack.

[@sociallyineptsnapper]

Do you have the name?

[@urclownangel]

What’s it called

[@ryangooseling]

@@urclownangel 😂😂😂 at the time i was buying them they were sold under the name.... Protein Shot Oddly, i think its now sold by sunkist

[@ryangooseling]

@@sociallyineptsnapper sorry, never got the notification. Protein shot

[@sociallyineptsnapper]

@@ryangooseling anything more specific? Nothing I look up looks particularly off in shape

[@dominiquefaught5116]

In 7th grade I went to a small private religious school. Our teacher taught Earth Science and would teach the 6,7,and 8th graders for different periods. After lunch, one of my classmates had noticed one of the 8th graders had left his school binder behind and held it up for the class to see. The teacher asked who it was and in the process of opening up the binder, a Playboy magazine fell out. Without missing a beat, the girl read the name in the binder. The class roared with laughter as we all knew who it was. The teacher gave a nervous chuckle and took it from her. He called down to the principal and reported it. A short time later, she came up to the class and retrieved the binder and Playboy. I had to use the bathroom later, so I saw the aftermath of the principal walking across the courtyard with the boy behind him with his head hung low.

[@keyhitt952]

Once, I had a flipbook collection, and the animations weren't that bad. I was showing other kids the flipbooks while also getting recommendations for what else I should make. My teacher came up to me and said not to distract the other kids. She took my flipbook and asked, 'Where are the others?' I showed her where they all were, and she took them all. That really hurt me, and I just stopped animating after that. But she said I would get them back by the end of the year, so I was a little happy, but COVID happened, so I never got my 20+ flipbooks back.

[@THETICMIRROR42]

the bees made me laugh so hard

[@rewto5131]

The one about butts was funny. If I was the teacher, I would have laughed then drew my own version before trashing the paper.

[@lightning_11]

Stories like this are why I make sure to give proper respect to any teachers I meet. Especially teachers who work with young or special education kids. Even parents are pretty impressive, to be honest. Those people have skills I can't even dream of mastering.

[@YouTubeTerminatedMyChannel]

0:56, yes, fish are served best in a vaaz.

[@mattwolf7698]

53:10 A couch? Must have been a JD Vance video.

[@VasenyaKenya]

On the halo story I know with 90% certainty that it was prob the IT guys just feeding the school the game

[@daedaluswriting9350]

In my HS, yeah, we played halo every day in Intro to Engineering when we had nothing else to do, thought it was my school for a second, but ours didn't have a war with the school system over it XD

[@daedaluswriting9350]

Although, this was 9 years ago

[@YaniLim-h9v]

great video, really enjoyed hearing all the wild stories! but honestly, i think some of the things teachers have to confiscate should be left up to parents to handle. it feels like they take on too much responsibility for things that could just be addressed at home, ya know?

[@gwyneth-p1q]

24:36 there’s something i need to tell you about the Usa yk…

[@joaocemoura]

On the topic of fake cockroaches, I have a story about those. Back in 10th grade I found one of those plastic cockroaches in the chemistry lab of my school. Inte ded to use it to play pranks on the girls in my class. Successful on that front. When i got home that day I completely forgot about it in my jacket's pocket. The fake roach somehow didn't come out during washing but did when it went through the dryer. Being plastic the damned thing got stuck to the door of the dryer and my mom, who is deathly terrified of roaches, saw it. She was so scared she couldn't even speak so she goes over to call my dad. I am in my room playing a game on my DS when i hear lound smacking noises. Came down to see my dad smacking the daylight out of the plastic cockroach with a dishcloth. Obviously the fake roach didn't fall off dead or try and run. What follows is the most uncontrolable laughter I have ever seen from my parents. To the point they couldn't look at each other without losing it all over again. It's been 15 years and we still tell this story all the time and still laugh like hyenas at it

[@Whimbrel-birb]

Story 55: If you remove the metal wire bit in the nose bridge of the mask, it is a functional saw. This happened during Covid, when everyone had those disposable masks that were given out daily, for reference. (I definitely never did that)

[@joelunchbucket]

When I was in first or second grade, I found a live shotgun shell on the ground next to my older brother's combi van. He used shotguns to hunt rabbits. I took it to school for show and tell. "Mrs Imrie, girls and boys, here I have a rabbit bullet." I explained that my brother used them in his gun when hunting rabbits. My teacher said "I'll look after that for you", and confiscated it. At the end of the day, she returned it to me to take home. No notes or anything. I was six or seven years old. That was the sixties for you.

[@lordpumpkinhead265]

The kid in the first story is a menace. I respect the prank so much.

[@rebasack21]

When i was in 7th or 8th grade i caught a small black widow spider and locked it into an empty label free prescription bottle. The next day i took it to school so i could show other kids what it was and how to recognize it. Now another thing that matters is i have bipolar and was on an IEP. I got insanely lucky that my biology teacher caught me showing it off and confiscated it. A LOT of other teachers would have tried to expel me instantly. Instead my teacher talked to me alone and explained that while my heart was in the right place that was way to dangerous to bring. Also this happened about a year after 9/11. It didnt actually hit me til my mid 20s just how bad a spot i had put myself in.

[@alexandrialynn08]

Story 2: This one was more cute than bad, as they kept the fish alive for the rest of the year and kept it somewhere arguably better for a fish to live in

[@mariekatherine5238]

My aunt confiscated a bong from one of her Kindergarteners. He brought it for Show and Tell, without his mother’s knowledge, of course! Craziest thing I confiscated from a first grade girl was a jade and gold ring and bracelet set, taken from Mom’s drawer and given as a birthday gift to a friend. The nastiest thing I confiscated from a fourth grader was a matchbox that contained a pet water bug, (giant cockroach!)

[@bethanymargason8383]

Okay, the story with the tampons was so funny! 😆

[@1HoseaMatthews]

I'm not a teacher, but the weirdest thing that has been confiscated from me was a harmonica.

[@felixf_7]

Who really thought chefs would only need one timer? Chefs ain’t just cooking frozen nuggets

[@hamm145]

When I was in 5th Grade, my friend used to chew on everything. One day he had something in his pocket and the teacher confiscated it. It was a dog bone! And then he still was chewing on it after the teacher found it. He is still my friend and is the chillest person to exist on this planet.

[@Dragongaga]

Story 24, same, but it was Counterstrike 1.6 for us. The school had a system made by students as a graduation work. It utilized a boot from LAN system, where they had a mirror server with a fully configured, bootable system and when you turned on a PC in one of the computer rooms, it would grab the mirror from the server and boot with it. That way the system had all the software the students needed, they couldn't break the PCs and changes they made during class would not keep. But the students who designed this system smuggled and installation of CS1.6 onto the mirror server, including the cracked russian setup file. So every lesson some students would play CS and there was nothing the teachers could do against it. I even started making my own maps to play and got a little popular for it. Good times.

[@BiggieChungulus]

Professional chef here, the only timers we use are on our ovens. Some people use external timers but it's ironic because those are the people who often burn things.

[@desireeking4556]

Not a teacher, but I have a related story about what one of my substitutes took from me back in 8th grade (NW USA). Did I over react (note I have ADHD which can make it hard for me to regulate my emotions (this makes it way to easy for me to become highly disruptive to class if I wanted to), and also if on meds I am struggling to focus then I am not meant to focus on that assignment at that time, stop trying to force something that clearly is not going to happen)? We were given iPads for school. They were our primary way of doing/turning in our work. My mom gave me a Tech Pencil to use with it. -- One day my English teacher was out sick and we had a Sub, she was an older, not very tech savvy woman. Our assignment was to annotate an online paper, as we read it. The teacher was calling out students at random to read a paragraph at a time. I was having a no focus, very bad day, so when she called my name to read, I wasn't paying attention. I was using my tech pencil to doodle in the margins of the page. She took the tech pencil away from me, I mean sure I wasn’t using it to do the assignment but I also wasn’t disrupting class. After she took it away I closed my iPad, and therefore closed the assignment, and started drawing on a random paper, she then took away my normal pencil. (internal thoughts: WTF. B**** No! I am having a Sh*t day. Leave me the F*** alone so that you can do your job and not have to deal with a 5 year-old type tantrum, I was what 12-13 at the time) I then pulled out my math homework and a new pencil (thoughts: okay surly she can’t object to me do a different class’s assignment) she once again took away my pencil. I collected my stuff and left class (to avoid embarrassing myself, yelling at her, and completely disrupting class any further. My emotional regulation skills were not good at the time *they still aren’t good *possible declining actually.) She followed me demanding me to get back in the classroom. I kept walking despite being threatened with detention, I wound up heading to the counselors office and they told the sub to head back to her class, the counselor took me back to the classroom after the bell to get my stuff back.

[@jadedj5385]

The Jiffy Punch is so mean. The idea of someone racing to you with a handful of whatever it is that you are allergic to is horrifying and kind of funny. Glad the people involved in that story were OK.

[@doctorofnonsense9059]

When I was a freshman in high school I had a .243 Winchester Bullet/Shell that was inert. The primer was loose and had a hole drilled through it and a key ring through that. It was a necklace. And I showed it to a classmate in my computer hardware class. Teacher who claimed to know everything about guns told me that it was dangerous and illegal for me to own that. Told me that my parents could pick it up, dad (who is ex-navy) goes down there to pick it up, gets into an argument with the teacher and principal about how the bullet was inert and could never be loaded. Eventually it came down to my dad saying they were idiots and leaving without getting the bullet back. My dad hated my high school for all sorts of reasons after that, but that definitely set the precedent.

[@CK_123]

Professional chefs probably need multiple timers so that they can keep track of multiple dishes being cooked at the same time

[@ArtZy08]

using the texture of the strings on the masks as a wire saw (especially while slightly stretched) is surprisingly effective and can, in fact, *_go through metal_* with enough precision, time and a few spare masks as you only get two strings per mask and they would snap relatively easily if stretched too far.

[@tweezeburger]

As a professional chef, if you are busy you may have multiple things cooking with different cook times in your kitchen going at once. The timers are extremely helpful especially if they have different alarms.

[@generallowres4636]

When I was in middle school I brought 2 butterfly knife trainers to school. They were solid metal and looked like real knifes even after holding them, you would have to know/look closely to realize they were fake. I was playing with 1 of them in class and my teacher confiscated it, he did it really casually and I didn't even think it could be seen as a real knife, I asked him if I could get it back at the end of class, this class was 2 class periods in one classroom separated by lunch, he said no way and I was disappointed and was trying to convince my teacher to give it back at the end of class, he said no way. After lunch he pulled me aside and told me he thought it was a real knife and that's why he told me I couldn't have it back, he gave it back to me right then and told me to stop playing with it during class. obviously not exactly the prompt but I still think it's a pretty good story, I can imagine that teacher also retells that story. That same teacher has subbed some of my classes not only after middle school but also when I went on to high school.

[@lukerigsby]

I got in trouble over a butterfly knife trainer too lol

[@EvonneSol]

The weirdest thing that ever got confiscated in my school was a live chicken. Yes, a live rooster got brought in by some of the seniors close to the end of the year and released into the hallway. I was on my way to my engineering class at the time, a junior if I remember correctly, and I was there keeping other students from kicking it or getting pecked by it when animal control showed up. I'm pretty sure it was injured because that little rooster was mean as hell and terrified by the time someone finally got it under control. I think one of the guys got it off his uncle's farm, or something like that. The weird part is that this was in the middle of town, close to a major city, and nowhere near a farm.

[@FractalParadox]

14:30 I did the exact same thing when I was like 11 or 12? I was using a small knife to take apart an interesting electronic toy (think one of those old R2D2 key chains that had a mini laser projector with an image of Darth Vader or something) and then the school bus (actually it was a van, but that's another story, I'm not American) arrived, and my ADHD butt just forgot all about it and shoved both the toy and the knife into my pocket. no one in school noticed, because, well, it wasn't America, until I put my hands on my pockets during recess and found them there. Can you guess what I did then? exactly! oblivious to any other implications that bringing a knife to school could have, I decided to just pick up where I had left of and proceeded to resume picking the toy apart with the knife, in full view of multiple teachers and the school's janitor. The sweet old school janitor took me straight to the principal's office, and my mom was called. the whole time I was like _what's the big deal?_ while the teachers yelled about weapons and bullying and whatnot. my mom got there and took one look at the situation, then grabbed the knife and laughed. "oh, I was looking for this one, it's my favorite potato knife." she said. "You should have used a screwdriver, now the tip is all bent." PS: I couldn't use a screwdriver because the screws were those weird triangle shaped ones, so yeah, the knife was the best fitting thing I found TL:DR I got grounded for damaging my mom's favorite knife, not for bringing it to school.

[@Wi-Fi-El]

When i was in middle school, my friend made what he called a "harpoon." It was a pencil that had been stapled with a stapler, and then the staples had been straightened out to create a tiny version of a baseball bat with nails in it, or a mace. He then started tossing it to people. I was lucky enough to catch it by the unstapled part, but when my friend threw it again, another friend of ours caught it with a clenched fist, shouted, opened his hand, failed to drop the pencil, and then yanked it out of his palm and tried to stick it in the arm of the friend who made it. They both got iss and i got detention for not telling the teacher about the "weapon."

[@jacksonlaframboise6257]

Yo. I somehow ended up with the smart kids during spare. What do you get when you throw the adhd kid into a group of perpetually bored kids. So, we ended up making a crap load of highly detailed, hand drawn, ironic, North Korean propaganda posters, disguised as exam/ motivational things and taped em up eeeeverywhere throughout the school. It was kind of a jab at the whole education system as a whole, and it was topical since, this was around the same time, “the interview”, came out. I remember one of these posters contained an image of Kim Jong Un (or a vaguely Kim like character. The “mascot” for these posters was a very minimal rendition of Kim; One of those things where if you were told who it was, it became obvious. That ambiguity becomes the basis for the grand finally of this whole fiasco….anyways, he was) on a unicorn, surrounded by atomic bombs with bird wings, a rainbow in the back and some text that said some shit like, “with great determination, nothing can stand in your way.”…They were taken down. We started fighting back, making like 1-3/ day. This took 1-1.5 hours of work, every day to pull off. I’d do the drawings and get tutored at the same time. My Grades went from C’s to A’s so, that was cool. But, I wasn’t about to get distracted by grades. I had a more important things to tend to. Around a month into this, my friend got sent down to the office, regarding attendance issues. He was vaguely aware of this operation we had going on so, what he saw next probably made him a candidate for the poker face award. The posters were taped up everywhere. Like 10 of em were right at the front and more were scattered about, throughout the back cubicle thingy’s within the office. He asked about them and the principal was like “oh. We liked em so we figured they should be here, to help motivate troubled students”…. When nobody was looking, my friend snapped a few photos of the office and sent em to me. I think we just spent the next spare period laughing our asses off at these photos. The office was just filled with paintings of Kim Jong Un….And nobody fucking noticed. But it was like, reaaaally obvious sometimes.

[@baileysweeney1456]

Some clarification on the timer, you need more than one because when you cook certain dishes, their different components cook at different speeds and times, have one for each and jobs a gooden

[@GymbalLock]

12:00 I caught a 2nd grade student who was showing off the $200 cash he had in his pocket. I didn't want to confiscate it and run into all kinds of legal trouble, but I also knew the kid would lose the money to someone before the end of the day. I told him to put it back in his pocket and not to show anyone, ever. I called his dad. It was money set aside for the electric bill that the kid just took that morning. If I had to do it again, I'd have someone from the office collect the cash and hold it until dad could arrive at school.

[@GreengamerGMD]

50:10 lung cancer 8 deluxe

[@Ferrari255GTO]

19:10 WHAT A FUCKING CHAD, I hope this man is still as amazing today as he was that day!

[@goJi7]

For the story about the masks, the reason that they could cut the chairs using masks is because the masks had high friction bands, and so, if you use it like a saw It would cut the chair.

[@MSL_Sketches]

Meh, i brought A lawn mower blade to school and it was taken up, it’s still there a couple blocks from me