Have To… The Life Philosophy that Will Ruin Your Life

[@tuesdaykuglin8271]

If telling other people “I want to” comes off a bit too selfish, I tend to just say “I decided to.” This way I still speak in a way that shows I have free will, but people are more likely to be understanding about it. It sounds like I took the time to make the overall best decision, but they don’t know why I chose it (and don’t need to know either)! It could be my own self-interests or other people’s. They don’t need to know everything about my life.

[@kundalinisextantra7425]

Why does wanting to sound selfish? People can be so dumb

[@noone-op6yg]

When there isn't an oath or obligation to fulfill excuses and explanations are not required and shouldn't be expected, imo. Its okay to just say... lol, no.

[@MikkoMurmeli]

Rattle rattle - now I remember it. Great and terrifying short japanese horror movie. You know what else is rattle rattle?

[@dallymoo7816]

Be PC or else ..sigh :(

[@emotophobiccdd8006]

I don't think that it sounds so much selfish as it easily does dismissive; as though you're brushing them off without a second thought, because they're insignificant. It's mostly about the other words that you choose to go with it. It's like everything. It depends on the circumstances. There's no one size fits all; language is an art. You can say "I want to" and meet the needs of a reasonable friend every single time if you're a sufficiently skilled "words artist". And I'd like to be.... However, for now, this is not my strong point...so I'll probably lean towards "I decided to" when my mind goes blank; as it usually does. I have a KZbin folder labeled "Watch Repeatedly". This video is in there. I think it deserves a lot of deeper thought. Mostly in regards to how l view washing dishes etc.

[@tanjaborchhardt2123]

I just got rid of everything and everybody that didn't make sense anymore and above all i got rid of my need to "be good"...and boy, does that feel good. My favourite Mantra: I am free I am free I am free😛

[@freelife1121]

👍👍👍

[@micahira6306]

You probably dont care but if you are bored like me atm you can stream all of the new movies and series on InstaFlixxer. Have been watching with my gf for the last few months xD

[@zairecallan83]

@Micah Ira yup, I have been watching on instaflixxer for years myself =)

[@stacyevans4438]

Great I love that mantra and i am applying this mantra on my life too, i love the word FREEDOM, it makes me feel lighter as if i can fly🕊️

[@inkedfairy]

Agreed 1000% I read something a while back that went like: instead of saying things in a "have to" way like "I have to clean but hate it", change it to "I like cleaning bc I deserve to live in a beautiful space." It's simple but really changed my life❤️

[@brindlebriar]

There are only 100 percents.

[@vytautas134]

@@brindlebriar :D

[@maresionut-laurentiu7128]

Why can't you say instead of "I have to clean but hate it" : I hate myself not this activity?

[@kaysalchaar]

@@maresionut-laurentiu7128 a lot of negative ways and positive ones. If one way works for you better that doesn't mean it's better for others.

[@maresionut-laurentiu7128]

@@kaysalchaar Hate is the only way. Embrace your hate and stop chasing shadows.

[@scottfoster4548]

Thank you. I've watched a few of your videos today and at the risk of sounding cliche, you literally saved my life. My notes were written, I got all my ducks in a row, and that was going to be a wrap for me. I went outside for my 'last cigarette' and another one of your videos popped up. I watched, listened and cried. I had actually been planning to punch my own ticket today. I had everything planned, but you've given me hope and I feel I can try to hang on for a few more days. To anyone out there that feels this way, that thinks the world would be better without you, I understand your pain. I do. I'm not gonna beat anyone down that has considered this or made attempts to end it, and I'm not going to try to be that voice of reason because I'm in no position to do that. What I am saying is that YOU are not alone. We don't know eachother but please believe me that I do know your sorrow and the debilitating effect these ruminating thoughts can create. I can't stop anyone from doing what they put their mind to do, I can't. No one can really. But what I can do, is give you a big hug and let you know that although I am a complete stranger, I'm hurting the same. A lot of us are actually, and sometimes just knowing you aren't alone in your pain can help you hang on for a few more days. Again, I'm a stranger, but I truly love you and will keep hoping we will all get through this together.

[@icyearth]

Hang in there Scott. I see your pain and I am sorry you're going through some difficult times. When we are in times this dark we can't see the light at the end of tunnel until we're standing directly in it. If you decide to keep going, taking day by day you will get out of this and you'll feel better than ever before. Looking back you will know why you went through what you're going through. For now do what you feel like you're able to do. If you make it to your bed at the end of today you're already successful 💙

[@Touchofgoldbrand]

Hi. I hope you're doing fine?

[@goddess9990]

Yes, this is so true, when I say I have to go to the store I feel like I really don't want to go, I feel like I'm being forced. When I say I want to go to the store, I'm up dressed ready and out of the door an feeling good!!

[@Stalksomeoneelse11]

I've been a silent viewer of yours for some years now. Time I spoke up. This "have to" business has dominated my life. I'm at the point in my process where I am defiant against the "have to" mind set and am getting it all straight. But thank you for pointing out that I can replace it with "want to" in order to get to the "why". It takes people like You to illuminate these questions and I'm just really grateful you exist. Thank you for shining your light bright enough for someone like me to see it. 💯

[@medicinemom3620]

Well how did getting out of "I have to" go?? I'm there in my life right now lol

[@Stalksomeoneelse11]

@ I stopped being able to justify my have to’s with wants. I quit my job and went back to school and earned two associate degrees. Now I get to move to Portland next year to pursue my bachelors. I don’t have to do anything but when I’m lying to myself about what I want to do, I change it. Light ☀️

[@medicinemom3620]

@@Stalksomeoneelse11 like you were telling yourself you wanted to do XYZ for a specific reason, then realized you didn't really want to do XYZ? Or you cant seem to believe your *I want to do XYZ " but you're doing the work anyways? It's hard for me right now to say I want to do what I need to do. Of course I want to produce quality things, and do my duties well. But sometimes we sign up for things, without realizing the duration and can't just quit. Things can be more miserable than I expected, but I do realize that's a state of mind.

[@Stalksomeoneelse11]

@ if your work is meaningful to you or meaningful to your highest good, you should hang in there. There may be other areas of life that could use your mental energy right now that maybe are not getting the attention they deserve because work has been serving as a distraction. Un-distract yourself and try to be more present, notice your impact and notice how it makes you feel.

[@DaniGilbert]

Yes! Similar to that I've recently read somewhere "Instead of saying 'I don't have time' try saying 'it's not a priority' and see how that feels" and honestly, if you really start doing that, it makes all the difference. This also fits in nicely with the responsibility video!

[@rahulkurmi6322]

Kon si country s h aap ???

[@Kiseochan]

I'm thinking about adding "I could benefit from" to help me get out of resistence and adopting "I choose to" to help me acknowledge my free will.

[@anitamitchell3452]

After becoming disabled ... I learned how to say "I get to" .... I get to walk around the store with the aid of a shopping cart, I get to pick up my grandchildren ... feel the weight of them, I get to drive a vehicle anywhere I want. I have the ability, therefore I get to. When you find this level, it's a whole new world ... much love Teal. Thanks for all you do.

[@haroldlaporte5992]

Thank you Teal For all your books, KZbin videos, plus. Four you are teaching an old man of 80 years young how better love him self as well as others. Thank you, For I love you, As my self and family more and more every day. Thank you; Harold. Form Canada with love.

[@youtubeuser6725]

That's adorable thank you Harold for the comment ❤

[@DebraWilderMeditation]

Only Teal can make a DMV visit something I want to do.

[@drakekay6577]

Damn Teal! I tried to explain this to my family when I was younger, but they kept insisting that I adopt "Have to" when I "wanted to" the entire time.

[@alexisscarbrough4083]

Perspective changes it all. Thank you for reminding me. Maybe now I'll get stuff I 'want' done without all the feet dragging & whining (something I've been role modeling to my kids. Time for change!).

[@ManfredHanberg]

You DO have free will, whether you want it or not. ... wait

[@SuperQuwertz]

You can always choose freely to blindly follow others.

[@trishasmith3286]

Yep!

[@AuthenticSelfGrowth]

Most people are motivated by misery and unhappiness rather than love and inspiration.

[@Katyayanibetha]

Usually when this happens to me, it just means I need to rest and recharge some more in order to be able to have the energy I need to properly complete whatever it is I start feeling like I "have" to do. My feeling like I "have" to do something is a signal to me from my body that it needs to rest a little. Usually, if you just lie down, eventually as you're rested, the thoughts will come into place naturally that remind you that you actually "want" to do that thing, and why.

[@yehhshhs]

Soul Whisper interesting and yes i need my rest to be able to enjoy the things i do

[@AndBusinessIsGood]

I love you ❤️ because you match ny awareness and consciousness

[@saca1233]

wow literally yesterday I figured this out and articulated it to my friends, that I treat everything in my life as a have to, even everything that's supposed to be fun or make me feel good and nothing as a want to. And that I'm ready to finally change that now and prioritize everything as a what I *want* to. And literally the next day I get a notification about this video, the universe is incredible. 😌💖

[@cathyb7573]

saca1233 Yeah ..lts like saying ..Do l have to suck it ..do l have to swallow .? ..even though its fun and l like it .

[@KrazzyKittyy]

@@cathyb7573 go away

[@alimurphy2365]

"Have to" is right up there with "should". Nice video. Good strategies. Thanks, Teal Swan!

[@ladymaiden2308]

Sent this to my mom LOL.

[@breno3635]

Loll and i'm sending it to my father

[@Crissynxander]

Lmao! My mom would find this triggering. XD

[@pinkglitterbunny6484]

Lady Maiden AHAHAHA

[@ladymaiden2308]

@@pinkglitterbunny6484 🤣😝

[@marcusmiles4234]

You didn’t HAVE TO do that ;)

[@jamieallen1568]

I love how I feel so evolved and past your lessons and then you rub my nose in my pile of childishness and I am again humbled. GRATITUDE.

[@dawne2443]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your gifts with us, Teal. You are such a light. 💚

[@LizWilliams444]

Thanks so much Teal, I really look forward to these Saturday videos 🙏🏽

[@curiouskatsayshello4673]

All ears, Teal! Thanks for these Saturday videos! They help me with my week so much 💜 Edit: Fantastic video and perfectly timed as usual! “I have to” has been a huge struggle that I couldn’t put into words. I’m so ready for a big change in my life and to improve my self discipline! Much love to Teal and Tribe. I wouldn’t be in this world right now if it wasn’t for you all. 💜🐸

[@LoveAndPeaceOccurs]

Thank You Teal ... As a LMHC, I tried to teach this to as many of my clients as I was able ... You speak this message SO well. Listen folks ... these are very wise words.

[@sazennonumber]

THIS right here can completely change lives if people listen carefully and implement into practice. I have kinda been doing this intuitively, but it really helps to have it so clearly listed. I also didn't like the 'should' in my life, so I changed them to 'can'. So, instead of saying, 'I should learn more about marketing strategies', I say 'I can learn more about marketing strategies'. Thank you, Teal. This was a generous gift.

[@hobbytreyi]

This video changed my life

[@Banana42699]

My therapist always tells me to use the word “choose to” instead of “have to”

[@fayhills8934]

Oh thank you!!! I was talking about this concept few days ago with different people. They were stuck in their reality of resistence. They sayed "I have to" and of course "you have to" hundreds of time I was litterally shock. Now I can shere this video to those that I spoke with. Really thank you you are the best. 💖

[@jamieazalea685]

I told my older sister that she didn't "have to" do something her boss asked her to do, if it wasn't part of her job duties/responsibilities. I told her she could quit that job and get a different one. She said her "hands were tied" because she had a mortgage to pay, and that I didn't understand (because I was part of a union in my previous job). She says that *I* don't understand and that *I'm* the one who has to try to consider other people, but she's got it backwards from MY perspective. Goddammit. It really frustrates me how she deflects what I say and tries to project it on me instead. I choose not to bother with her anymore.

[@jaynebarry5658]

I observe what people really mean when they say " I didn't have a choice" is that they didn't have a quality rich authentic choice, only a technical choice. While technical choice cannot be taken from you, authentic choice is taken from people in society every day. We experience technical " gun to the head choice as low quality because it actually is made up of low vibration energy. What we want is authentic choice where we are not being threatened.

[@vincentcummings5508]

10 thumbs up!!!! It's all the difference in the world for me, so powerful/so basic.

[@iahomaroka4758]

0:33 You just say "I'm gonna HAVE TO throw you into a universal truth ..." Gotcha!

[@pauldavid167]

Let go, just let go of everything its amazing. It changed my life ❤️

[@thedragonlady6661]

This video helped me do the extremely important aftercare for my surgery which is 4-5 hours a day and extremely painful :) Thanks Teal❤

[@Bunnylix]

I Love You, Teal. Best wishes from Poland ❤️🧡💛💚

[@bernardbujard9944]

What makes this video great? The cat scene at 7:39 represents many of our typical days. The cat could have been motivated to do what it really wants if it changed its perspective and was being walked to a plate of freshly cooked salmon or if it had been allowed to chase a mouse.

[@return2innocence221]

Follow your fire and your true desire 🔥

[@tamtrinh174]

No, stop telling me what to do :)))

[@sugameltpastriescoffee7186]

I just figured it out! instead of doing what others want or what I want, I must do only what serves everyone, be less concerned with what I "want" or worse what others want

[@optimistalchemist7277]

Yes, this video is big facts, which, is why I'm laid back, indifferent, determined, & inspired at the same time. Thank you for uploading

[@remtoons3540]

Yet another much-needed lesson for humanity! This problem has plagued my own family... definitely myself! I have put this horrid monster upon my own talent, which has created this feedback loop of mental torture.... but your wise insight allows me to break free even better. Thank you Teal! 'w'

[@angelica23luna90]

Occasionally I have unknowingly switched from thinking I "have to" to "want to". Now I find that it's real and a positive thing and I will be more conscious of it! Great video, well-explained and makes so much sense!!

[@MattAngiono]

I am fascinated by the difference between "have vs. want," and "have to vs. want to," and how the more "positive" word becomes the negative one.... Those two letters change everything! It's a perfect example of the importance of context and perspective, and how weird language can be sometimes! Thank you for this!

[@catiebrown2890]

I needed this 😭. I've been allowing people to treat me subhuman because my husband and I are staying with them and "I have to." Suddenly I started to feel suffocated with all the other have tos and I started getting angry. Thank you so much for your content. I deeply appreciate your wisdom ❤️

[@emaambition9378]

I’m actually living by Teal principal. I’m not all the way there because it is not easy being in teal shoes. I don’t have problems say no wen I don’t feel like it. I learn that from one of her last year video. Teal is very bold that’s why I love her💯❤️

[@theancientandreios7417]

I have a relative that says I have to or you have to in nearly every other sentence. It's so annoying and I just want to correct him and say that there's nothing that you have to do; only what you want. I don't because I know it's going to trigger him. Sometimes I just don't care what ignorant people think and speak my mind. A lot of good points and tools to use here with those questions. Thank you.

[@bluebotlivingston6016]

This is the first video of yours that I watch after many years, and your personal growth really inspired me. Compared to your older videos you have a lighter energy while expressing yourself, you seem to have deeply embraced your sense of humor and playfulness. Thank you!

[@SuperQuwertz]

I love to see her in such a good mood

[@NYpolerina]

How does this happen every week the very day you post a video is the very day this theme comes up deeply. Then I see the video in my feed. Incredible.

[@lovelife02]

I have been trying to do this for a long time, I like to say instead of "have to", I like to say I "get to", because in reality there are people without legs and hands and such that cannot do what I can do so easily.

[@JeremyBec]

what a phenomenal video. Thank you Teal.

[@niklasdraken6751]

This episode made me laugh so much. Cause it's 100% accurate and most people won't even understand they are the problem themselves. Thank you teal, great episode. Much love 😍

[@kamleshtaank231]

I love the way Teal deliver her speech ... She has her own style ...I just realise that I have become your Fan 'Teal' ☺️

[@moxieamber]

So excellent. I have been practicing this and it is totally true for me. Last night leaving work late: “I just want to finish these bills before I leave.” (Yay no last weeks mess to walk into next week) Vs “I just have to get these bills out before the weekend” (Stuck, forced, unhappy) I clearly see and feel the difference of both ways of being. And of course subsequently, everyone around you feels it too. Things go much smoother among co workers when the vibes change for positivity.

[@Fady117]

I wholeheartedly agree. Thank you for everything you do, Teal.

[@StarKatz888]

Thank You Teal!!!!!!!!! 💖🙏💖🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫🐒💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊

[@Shoshow]

I just wanna say that this video is the most deep video I felt in Teal' channel. The 'have to' to 'want to' is a life changer and especially the part where teal says you can impart your own meaning to discomfort. Although it can be a suppression or escapist tool, I found that if used wisely it'll make you feel empowered and happy..❤️

[@shreyasimhadri3863]

thank you for telling me what I tell myself. your confirmation of this makes it ring louder in my head!!

[@blueandgreen4799]

I agree on every single word.

[@redwhiteblue9866]

Yep

[@noone-op6yg]

who's your master? say my name. you're lucky, i free you spiritually, mentally and physically from all binding agreements except one's. God bless and be well.

[@joybreegaming8781]

If I don't have to feel pain or fear or sorrow why do I? What purpose does it serve for me to be hopelessly drowning in emotion?

[@noone-op6yg]

@@joybreegaming8781 Perhaps if you try re-framing your questions without the use of the word 'why', because asking why always appeals to emotional feeling instead of informative content which can lead to greater insights and better solutions. As to your second question it comes to mind that to be kept hopelessly drowning in emotion also means kept in a highly suggestive state of mind. The question i always ask myself first is who is trying to manipulate and what are they really trying to obtain by manipulating dramas. Taking the self investigation of conscious experience a few steps farther it can be seen that overindulgence, self indulgence, and self absorbtion are all aspects of self importance. Self importance is the first barrier and pitfall to further enlightenement, which when overcome leads to clarity of mind... which in turn when indulged leads to a sense of apathy and no reason to do anything at all. This too in turn leads to another patterned event where fear of death propels a person to act decisively and with abandonment to defy fate and create one's own reality and responsibility for ones own actions. Then, after passing this test given by the universe itself the person can choose to act or not, choose to immerse oneself to drown in emotion or not... but the point then is that the person is not caught or trapped in those states unwittingly. Deciding to become immersed and drown in emotion is the same as deciding to climb out of that immersion to think only dry thoughts... a decision even to think a thought, or feel an emotion... the experience becomes owned by the person deciding to experience their own reality, its called freedom.

[@joybreegaming8781]

Thx

[@TutiFruity7103]

You are so right. I can tell when someone is lying to me saying have to.

[@Lichfeldian--Suttonian]

I have been saying this for years! “Want to” gives self-empowerment whilst “have to” does not.

[@plutolion9261]

Hahaha, Yes! O my gosh. Finally. I have always said the same thing! You can do whatever the f*ck you want. You can sit there and never move again, never getting up for a drink of water or eating another meal. You can ignore everything around you and take a crap in the middle of the street in New York! Free will is something we have and it is a responsibility to use wisely with awareness.

[@mercedesflores464]

I love this .. I want to choose what I want to… instead I have to .. I choose to choose my life to be the way I want .. nobody get choose for me anymore.. hooray 😃 I’m choosing.

[@tammyjohnson9505]

teal, you are awesome and amazing. thank you . . .for . . all that you are and all that you give. thank you

[@stevegreen2753]

I absolutely love your presenting style. Thanks for being awesome.

[@JettJewel]

Thank you. This perspective is going to help me get my paper done....and my trig homework

[@gingerredshoes]

I've been consciously saying "I'm gonna" instead of "I gotta." I feel like I'm lying to myself if I say I want to do something I really don't want but do anyway because it's the lesser of unpleasant choices. I don't want to wash the dishes, but I do want them clean so "I'm gonna" wash them anyway. But framing is everything.

[@raycrew]

Thanks for the Awesome videos Teal, they are helping me to see the world in a different light.

[@jonathanp5533]

I started practicing this living abroad. If people were rude, I refused to speak in their language. They would get FURIOUS. It broke their brain to realize there is no amount of social shaming that could force me to speak in a particular language, and that my cooperation in every moment of the interaction was 100% required to even begin to communicate. There is no "have to."

[@DivyanshuChowdharyJi]

So grateful to have you in my life.

[@jayney6176]

Thank you so much, Teal !! 😊

[@CosmicKindness]

You are so so amazing thank you Teal!!!!!!!!!

[@trident4013]

Words and thoughts have power so be mindful about it !

[@Himeko-wv7fu]

It depends on purpose. No one is obligated to do anything. But if their purpose is to achieve certain objectives, then yes it does become required to take the steps to get there.

[@watermagictarot4107]

This made go back to work

[@lockheed55]

This video actually changed my life.

[@tedmalley7636]

Positive and profitable choices are always the result of taking into account "cost/benefit" , timing and decisions/consequences.

[@SanjayKumar-qr6zx]

You speak from your heart. I liked that.

[@ΕΥΑΓΓΕΛΙΑΚΑΨΑΛΑΚΗ]

Teal you are fantastic. Keep up the goodwork on helping humanity.

[@yagurla]

Amazing, spectacular video!! Exactly what is needed right now, clearly you know this. I am buckling down to make leaps of progress in my life, but I have moments of darkness. In those moments I feel totally overwhelmed from denying myself momentary pleasures and pushing myself to do uncomfortable things. This is in order to align myself with things that truly fulfill me - continuous actualized potential is one of those things. But in those dark moments I grasp for something to hold on to, to keep me going and not want to give up. This video is an extremely useful tool, thank you ♾

[@thelilbrans]

Thank you Teal for just breaking it down and making it simple. I means a lot for a scattered mind.

[@andral5220]

thank you, Teal! 🙏🏼 this has been bugging my mind for some time now. love and light ❤️

[@gustafrindestal]

Lol I was super productive 3 days in a row but today I'm having trouble to focus 😫 But NOW I want to study again 😃

[@JohnathonHC]

Everything you say. It just makes sense.

[@LauraVolpintesta]

About discomfort: BIRTH!! In my first birth experience I learned the “meaning”piece.... DISCOMFORT without FEAR is only discomfort..... the meaning of the discomfort was almost meaningless, so it just.... was. It didn’t MEAN anything except that my body was doing new things. WOW.... it totally forgot to apply this to the discomfort of having a disagreement with someone I love this week and again this morning. THANK YOU!

[@wakeup_withAshley]

Perfect timing Teal, as usual. Thank you thank you thank you 🙏🙌🕉️❤️

[@drewsson]

Ah, the good old "I have to" is how i used to run my life as a business owner. Now i'm doing all in my power to do it if it feels right.

[@taoist32]

Andreas Rydell - Vlogs & Self Development Except for taxes. You have to do taxes.

[@osse1n]

Have to - Appeasing to someone's expectations of you That attitude is not truthful to yourself, acting out of scarcity.

[@n.ribeiro569]

i think most of the things we say we have to do are really things we WANT to do because of the outcome that comes after, but we label what we want as a drag because it requires effort. Thank you for changing my mind today, i literally was saying i have to do this long list but i actually want to do it because of the outcome that i receive after is what i do want :)

[@yukiokuma8983]

More amazing advice. Thank you! ❤❤ you're giving me the info I need to change my life.

[@kameliat7704]

This is sooo good, girl, you're killing it! I also love the way you talk. Sending much love ❤️

[@reinabeaux]

So timely thank you so much. Also, I am always cracking up at the pics and gifs used in your videos. :)

[@nskbeauty]

Everything you said is so true, 2020 has been kinda brutal so far but I know that this too shall pass.

[@tanja5208]

Thank you Teal!! 💙

[@franciehansell1862]

Perfect timing in my life. Thank you so much xx

[@DC502_]

Love you Teal. This video really resonated with me.

[@LeOnIdAs162]

Teal please tell us more about how time unfolds in higher dimensions !

[@Fliedermutter]

I decided to always say the truth. If someone can't stand my truth he or she is not for me.

[@WhiteMouse77]

From personal experience I have to prove that being always honest in my personal life or with colleagues in case of non-working activity (because as a loner I do not mind losing someone I don' have close relationship with) and saying to people "I won't join you/do what you want me to".... because I want to do st. else that is more important to me than follow your bid/request IT MAKES THEM OFFENDED AND UPSET EVERY TIME & giving up on liking me....it is a rule of 99% cases and if you wanna stay free, this is the price you pay for it! And that's why most people hardly ever dare not to plead "I have to...."

[@bAa-xj3ut]

thank you Teal.. love you soooooooooooo much