What really matters at the end of life | BJ Miller | TED

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At the end of our lives, what do we most wish for? For many, it’s simply comfort, respect, love. BJ Miller is a palliative care physician who thinks deeply about how to create a dignified, graceful end of life for his patients. Take the time to savor this moving talk, which asks big questions about how we think on death and honor life.
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[@jvyu9628]

His eyes speak of how badly he wants us to understand where he is coming from, and that we, too, will realize the importance of his message. I’m grateful for having the opportunity of watching this today

[@doloresdrury8018]

I felt the same way about his eyes...

[@kbgogh7324]

eyes as on Rebrandt's portraits!

[@nathanfarr6265]

The way he speaks really reminds me of Christoph Waltz

[@Feber2001]

Me too! Amazing message

[@priyasharma6980]

Only those will understand the depth and reality of his speech who have lost their loved ones in hospital...hospitals should become more human centric

[@fokjohnpainkiller]

See how essential pauses are in speech? This guy gets it. Massive kudos, totally deserved the standing ovation

[@fba96]

You're god damn right

[@BeyondSorrowYYY]

+Chris Fokjohn kinda diddnt had the time to watch, but i read your comment so i did anyway. not only a great talk, but also a big lesson on how to give a speech. Love from Germany

[@fokjohnpainkiller]

BeyondSorrowYYY Good to know someone got to watch this because of me, have a great day sir

[@alexnguyen4648]

agree, who says you have to be up and moving and charismatic to captivate audiences? he does it in such a settle and calm way.

[@janetewin4819]

He is very charismatic! and good looking and smart! and sensitive!!!!

[@netsurfer8507]

It's truly remarkable how his eyes glisten with emotion while his voice remains steady and unwavering.

[@DaleMiller-km4fn]

Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near. Outer space is fake a hoax. The Earth is flat with a dome called the firmament above the dome is water above the water are the heavens. There are fallen angels imprisoned underground by God. Azazel aka Lucifer is at Area 51. He is where all the technology, systems and lies come from. Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near.

[@ferdawsnaeemi]

Not only his words are powerful, his entire being is another thing. The world needs more men like him

[@DaleMiller-km4fn]

Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near. Outer space is fake a hoax. The Earth is flat with a dome called the firmament above the dome is water above the water are the heavens. There are fallen angels imprisoned underground by God. Azazel aka Lucifer is at Area 51. He is where all the technology, systems and lies come from. Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near.

[@TheSKINNMAN]

My biggest thing is loneliness I am so tired of being lonely I have a construction company I am 62. I work about 6 1/2 days a week as many hours as I can. I hate to come home because no one cares if I am home at all I have two great sons. Three great grandsons. They live there lives way far away. So I have been single fir so many years it’s hard to figure out how many. Can’t find someone to care about. They all seem to have so many problems it’s better to be alone So there you go I am alone. I give up. I have seen so much and been though so much. Both Dude did my family is gone. I have a few distant cousins. It seem I have given up hope to have a relationship Do you know how many times I have heard theses words. Well when you stop looking it will happen. I spend my soars time helping people. That seem so help me is a lot of ways. Anyway that’s my story God bless you all if you read my post Peace

[@FoOtBaLLFrEaK4434]

if you seek, you shall find. The opposite can have an unapproachable effect.

[@TheSKINNMAN]

Andrew I hope and pray that I can find someone to spend the rest of my life with

[@FoOtBaLLFrEaK4434]

TheSKINNMAN and so you will. When you do, commit like your life depends on it. Not necessarily in a forceful manner, but in a relentless one.

[@Newofficegirl]

Adopting a rescue dog will change your life. Save a dog and it will save you.

[@A-M-F-A]

Dear friend. If you can adopt either a cat or a dog. Their love and company will change your life. Wish you the best :)

[@Yrhdbsbsddsw]

his eyes say the real message

[@kpacuBua]

+harry rudd He's either on drugs or on some strong painkillers. I know the drug sparkle when I see it.

[@BrandonNZ]

+kpacuBua I know the troll sparkle when I see it, you sir are twinkling like a disco ball

[@natural91LC]

+harry rudd what message? O.o

[@Barncore]

+harry rudd There's some pain behind those eyes

[@mjoto]

+harry rudd gay?

[@butterfly1889]

He understood the meaning of life :kindness ,compassion and love in all circumstances

[@DaleMiller-km4fn]

Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near. Outer space is fake a hoax. The Earth is flat with a dome called the firmament above the dome is water above the water are the heavens. There are fallen angels imprisoned underground by God. Azazel aka Lucifer is at Area 51. He is where all the technology, systems and lies come from. Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near.

[@heytherebarry]

This Ted talk is the one that has had the most impact on my life, I return every year to rewatch it and remind myself of what really matters.

[@radulescuandrei6178]

i showed this to med students in class, they didn‘t really react but nurses/ nursing school found this amazing

[@kathleenbillock8479]

Avery good idea!!! I will follow suit!!! TY!

[@jedmisty]

Not for me.

[@theremnant7497]

Dr BJ's authenticity is so notable, and I agree with him about focusing on life all the way to the end. I'm a return viewer as well

[@bettinarossi7908]

Me too,friend.🙏💜

[@marsray7793]

Is it just me or did anyone else fall in love with this man? lol

[@buzzweebee8685]

haha! TOTALLY! I'll fight you for him.. :)

[@bookashkin]

Sharing is caring :)

[@mrst0ne495]

The feelings in those eyes

[@CindyBellydance]

Wow! What was not to love about him. :-)

[@CindyBellydance]

Gay or straight, it doesn't really matter. He's a beautiful human being.

[@uma20012]

something about his eyes..had its own expression and story.

[@morpheus909]

I know right

[@kayfischbach5510]

no, thats just a tear layer, thats normal, some people have more in the eye off it, thats what let him look so sad, but that hasnt to do anything with his emotion or story PS: my english sucs

[@mynintendobroke]

+Kay Fischbach Having tears in your eyes makes you look sad? Nah, I don't buy it.

[@lazyidealist]

Take Keanu Reaves for example.

[@evanprest6224]

get a room

[@sadi6351]

"What's most important to people who are closer to death? -Comfort, feeling unburdened and unburdening to those they love; existential peace, and a sense of wonderment and spirituality.", well said!

[@syedjafferimam5789]

"A part of me died early on and that's something we can all say one way or another " Thanks for such inspirational talk

[@trafficjon400]

Temporary for NO MAN Will convince much longer as we need prove of true love that can control for love and not tricks. or wants and wishing wells.

[@vairagya108]

His eyes. They indicate wisdom. A wisdom that only comes from having been through a lot of suffering. And also, from having overcome it.

[@PiseyHean]

Just look his eyes :(

[@eugenianubia]

his eyes are full of pain.

[@cHaRrOcK]

i don't nook rick... he seems a bit high.

[@robertbarber7343]

@Pascal-Olivier Premont looks like he smoked weed just before this.

[@shubhamdahale1995]

Yeah, it's totally true.

[@jonahzah2698]

The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected. Only the wounded physician heals.” ― C.G. Jung Greetings from Ethiopia

[@dianepaul9846]

Beautiful comment. Btw, I love Ethiopia. I lived there for a couple years as a child. Wishing you peace.

[@tesstefera6334]

Nice to meet my fellow Ethiopians You are right Cheers

[@pikiwiki]

Greetings, Ethiopia. How's the weather?

[@allensandven0]

Great quote ,on so many levels

[@Munsjvc2]

Oh. I’ve always believed this, but never heard it said so we’ll!

[@RedFaceeee]

I’ve seen this in my life. My 3 older brothers died in the last 6 years. They were 27, 28 and 33. They had congenital diseases and I was their primary care giver. We never thought of death, yet we did talk about it’s being. We focused on laughing and thinking of the now. My brothers lived shorts and difficult lives, yet they never frowned. They always thought focused on what little they had and which liberated their souls. They emanated a light form them that attracted everyone towards them.

[@hydee6018]

I am truly sorry for your loss. and I have been there..

[@saminamariani1510]

I cannot begin to imagine how difficult this must have been...or how much courage you and your siblings must have had in dealing with this... it is overwhelmingly tragic. My thoughts are with you

[@cynthiamarston2208]

Oh how hard for you. I lost my brother and sister before their time. I had survivors guilt but at the same time I had a certain courage to go ahead and make selfish choices to live the best I could doing something that was always a thing for me. It required sacrifices. It turned out just fine. Not great or glorious but at least I tried! In their honor that they couldn’t.

[@sureshvanjani4618]

Losing near ones that too in a short span of time you must have touched the bed of river called SORROW. This leads to LIBERATION from the ‘SELF’.

[@oladman9058]

I cannot even begin to imagine your loss. So heartbreaking. Thanks for the courage to share such a private and monumental story.

[@mahamamir9892]

What a beautiful message, conveyed more beautifully. I couldn't stop 'feeling' what he was saying. His every word was filled with empathy, wisdom, and a hidden, accepted pain behind that smile. May God bless his soul and strengthen him more.

[@Harlem55]

You smoke too much weed.

[@AlphaGeekgirl]

@@Harlem55 You are not human

[@mahamamir9892]

@@Harlem55 Hahaah. It would have been funny, but I am Muslim, brother. And I am appalled you couldn't relate to this story.

[@milmac5052]

Which god?, the one who did this to him?

[@electrictroy2010]

RELIGIOUS PEOPLE have the same earnest eyes, as they tell you about God or gods. It doesn’t make the belief any less imaginary .

[@XxXpokemonmasterXxX1]

His eyes tell an extremely difficult and enjoyable story. ;)

[@pradeeplama1335]

Enjoyable? i Don't really think so because no pain is ever enjoyable, whether it's big or small. Inside or out.

[@daykbd]

+Jake Tamang he meant the way he told it. It was enjoyable. Obviously the pain isn't enjoyable. Nobody would say a pain is enjoyable

[@andy4an]

+Aviri Char indeed. "turning anguish into a flower" - BJ Miller much of the greatest joy in my life has a root in pain. That certainly doesn't mean I want pain, or wish it on anyone of course.

[@pradeeplama1335]

Well guys, those are the facts that made me love ted talks even more. Yeah, obviously, the feelings of overcoming the pain is indeed joyful. Peace ! ;)

[@SexualPotatoes]

+saleh al-humaid Why are you winking

[@mr_brown5974]

"Loss is one thing but regret quiet another"

[@marian1493]

because regret does not allow you to deal with loss. to get up. move forward.

[@Yotrymp]

Potential turns into dead weight.

[@serenityinside1]

well said

[@charmedprince]

*quite

[@rossmclaughlin4461]

serenityinside1 w

[@pedroayllon4293]

I had my heart broken and almost did the unimaginable. Listening to your talk made me realize just how beautiful life could still be after a relationship of 7 years has ended. Thank you so much

[@payday3425]

It will always be okay, remember there is always a positive ending, always. I know. Create your book and make a amazing ending for people to hear, you will find all the good come to your heart :). - Tiaggo

[@merrybluegirl8930]

I'm so sorry you've had that happen to you. It takes some time when our world is flipped upside down to find our footing again and even longer before we can feel happiness again. But from experience, I tell you, although it may not seem like it now, life always has something better in store for us. Live for that day. Just wade through the weeds until that happens. Know that you are NOT ALONE. I'm so happy this message helped you tremendously. Sending out love to you in the universe. May peace and a newfound desire to find out what's around the corner meet you right where you are.🌻

[@lrhcconrad2230]

I'm in the same boat . It feels like it's sinking . Almost 30 years invested and now everything is gone . I can't seem to shake it . I will though ,someday . Honestly life is horrible ,today and yesterday . I'm surviving for tomorrow Eternally through my Lord Jesus Christ .

[@a.h.991]

I am with you on this. Stay strong.

[@mattgoodmangoodmanlawnmowi2454]

Pedro I was in my mid 40s. 3 divorces. Two once good relationships ended badly. Ready to do the unthinkable. A voice inside told me to wait, my life would change in ways that I could not imagine. That same voice had once saved my life. So I tried. Mostly out of curiosity. Decided if I couldn’t have what I wanted I would rather be alone. Three months later, over thirty years ago, I met the true love of my life & we have a great son. I had to change my attitude and only then was I ready for what came next. Be patient & be accepting that you might not find what you want. Then perhaps the conditions will be right for a new as yet unknown phase in your life. It was for me.

[@JamilaMusayeva]

What a handsome man! He speaks so eloquently 😍

[@jayoopatwardhan4040]

He is evolved and aware . We are all born that way but stop living really artificiality gets in and we get lost to ourselves .

[@luzbuensuceso2916]

What he does not say is more powerful than what he says. His eyes, his pause, his being...

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you luz

[@umaraghavendran1347]

I completely agree I can relate to it I just love everything about him All he said reminded me of the book “ being mortal”.....

[@user-os1jw1nf4p]

The power of someone being fully present in the moment

[@electrictroy2010]

RELIGIOUS PEOPLE have the same earnest eyes, as they tell you about God or gods. It doesn’t make the belief any less imaginary .

[@ThePyro3525]

It's presentations like these that make me love TED

[@ronmaest]

+BaeJ The 6 God Better than female under-privilege, any day!

[@ThePyro3525]

+Ron maest now I wouldn't go that far for the sake of keeping my head attached to my body, but this talk is more universal.

[@ronmaest]

BaeJ The 6 God It's because of that type of cowardice that feminists have the sway they have. Remember that. Relax, they can't put a finger on you, it's against the law. Now, I assume there it's only because we're all equal, of course...

[@ronmaest]

Aviri Char Everyone...this ^ is a mangina. Thank you.

[@ronmaest]

Aviri Char AAAHAhAhAHAHAHHA! XD

[@sandrapulsipher1233]

"Making Life more Wonderful, rather than just less Horrible..."

[@patriciaibarra2704]

Where have I been all this time that I didn't come upon this most life inspiring ted ever? ❤❤

[@031neezy]

every so often you stumble on something that almost feels like magic. this speech is so much more than the sum of its words, it really is a piece of art.

[@lurettagarner9670]

YES INDEED!!!!

[@Ryan-jx4vh]

This guy speaks like an author... very articulate and descriptive. Great talk!!

[@moffig1]

Love listening to him

[@BJMillerMD]

Thanks Ryan!

[@MrAkosFintor]

This Ted talk sounded and felt like a poem. A beautiful one!

[@BJMillerMD]

Thank you Janos!

[@carliejung8408]

YEAH!!!

[@Miriam-fk9wr]

Most definitely.

[@tenbroeck1958]

Well put!

[@moraleslauralucia]

This man is so well spoken.

[@francoisdavis7254]

I can literally feel his deeper pain internal suffering by just looking in his eyes....I just want to hug this man

[@rodrigogarces2254]

I read sadness deep in his eyes, but he is strong & powerful. Glory to him !

[@zeromailss]

it made me feel peaceful for some reason

[@satyajitsinhkosamiya6822]

cause he was breathing fully...

[@ambrishjaiswal1286]

Hi, please watch Dr. Aubrey De Grey TED.

[@ambrishjaiswal1286]

satyajitsinh kosamiya Please watch Dr. Aubrey DE GREY'S videos. He has entire biotechnological intervention to beat aging within the next 25 years. And he is dead serious about his work.

[@bookashkin]

Somebody, anybody, please tell the good doctor that I won't last another quarter of century :)

[@shanicecodner7138]

+moderndudeman The pun intended ? 😁

[@thomasj5722]

I broke my back for 14 years ago, and now i live in constant agonizing pain and can hardly sit down or do anything. Your view of the world change when that happens to you, i don´t have much friends anymore but i appreciate even the smalles little thing i see every day now and i appreciate so much when i spend time with people, i try to find the good in anything

[@fortheloveofdog5622]

Don't know why - I just said a prayer for you - wish you had less pain, or no pain

[@HarshilSarvakar]

sorry for your loss. brother. may universe help you.

[@tatianagrosch7535]

Sending love

[@agnesbajka6784]

Thomas if you are lonely send me a message.. I am happy to talk to you. @inesbajka

[@amazingyear9042]

You are a wonderful person❣️

[@colleenhall3763]

This man challenges me on so many levels. I find myself watching this every few months, to ground me, my fears and anxieties. So thankful for him.

[@jagmeetsingh01]

Wishing you strength and peace, Colleen Hall :)

[@mjtr1970]

He spoke from his heart and first hand experience, not something learned through books....world need such people speak often....love him

[@sammyy9223]

His eyes reflect that he has seen and gone through many many things on his life.

[@lolarushartland9411]

Mr Tech Dude Haha - TECH dude indeed ! What his eyes reflect is absolutely nothing to do with 'watery' or not - try a little less TECH and feel into what we mean here?

[@GiaielPace]

Of course he has been through a lot! He’s been through terrible shocking experience obviously.

[@joecermak7649]

Gio Biocampo too soon

[@HybridSol1221]

@@GiaielPace not cool

[@roselaguerre4920]

Sir, you spoke with unfettered eloquence, boldness, and poise about a very difficult subject- dying. And you did so with so much grace and empathy. It was brilliant. Thank you.

[@chandrepinto9316]

Agreed

[@normanbates569]

Nonsense.

[@sharon21382]

@@normanbates569 *Stop.*

[@DR-nh6oo]

Norman Bates You are showing your projection my friend.

[@debbiehorn8263]

Loved This , Dr. Miller is so good at what is true and so knowing . I believe every thing he said was from his heart and not on a piece of paper , Amazing !

[@purplepatch7]

It's as if the incident when he was in college forced him to see life as it really is and even with the undoubtedly amount of suffering he has endured, he is at peace. It's spectacular.

[@cindy-camal]

I’m here because my husband just entered hospice care in the nursing home. Vietnam vet. Most difficult time for me ever! This man is an angel!❤

[@senior1110]

An unusually elegant talk, especially about death. God bless this man and all his patients.

[@nicolainjumsenrregaard7228]

The god who gave him missing legs in the first place.. lul

[@viceliag3916]

Not the time.

[@annaanderson7042]

GOD, not "god".

[@annaanderson7042]

And everything happens for a reason. Bad turns into good. The accident gave him a wake up and now he's an exceptional doctor.

[@armandrodriguez8501]

Try actually listening to him before making a jackass of yourself. His legs are missing because of a stupid choice he made as a young man, in much the same way your humanity is missing because you've chosen to reject He who gives life meaning.

[@siyaa3354]

Is it just me who loves his pause and intonation? Overall his voice and expression?

[@vaibhavpindikura3841]

No.

[@rachelsimbhu4383]

Nope !

[@BJMillerMD]

Thanks Siyaa

[@Miriam-fk9wr]

No 🌷

[@heidevanness2788]

No, but also his expressions and handsomeness.

[@10ON10]

*when he mentioned about snowball in hands, I felt him...*

[@ubayyd]

Me too brother.

[@azita6566]

I could imagine just like as I've seen it. . .

[@ManishPrabhune]

Spot on

[@paulryan2128]

Whadaya mean?

[@kenishabyrd]

I've had this saved for some time now. Today... I listened. I watched. And I heard him! What a testament of life in its fullness.

[@BITTME1030]

Now 36y of age; brought into this world by schizophrenic mother, taken away from her because she abused me (found out recently that someone saved my life by bringing me into the hospital) placed into orphanage, there after transferred into another in Russia. Finally being adopted at 10 years of age by an America mother who mentally and physically abused me until I moved out @ 18. I feel blessed to have gone through my journey to understand and appreciate life for what it is today. I made peace with all my horrors and view my life/world from a beautiful point of view. One day I hope to accomplish something bigger than myself, this will be my biggest dream come true. Life can be a beautiful, heaven on 🌎, all depends on how you look at it, with your ❤️ and mind. May each one of you enjoy your journey. Thank you TED for continued inspiration.

[@violator2695]

All the best on your journey

[@SM-rz9du]

God bless you!

[@sangellaferro]

My life changed dramatically when I was hired to work for Hospice ... back when it was truly hospice & not just a service provided for an unknown patient ... refered one day before death. After 3 years of providing old school hospice care, I couldn't revert back to standardized managed care protocols & be part of the healthcare delivery system in place today. I've helped in a private capacity, and often teach by doing ... it's right livelihood for me. I wish the world ran on the hospice system. I'm grateful to have worked during the "Camelot Days" ... and apply the philosophy whenever & wherever possible. Quality care of human beings should be a priority, but money always trumps.

[@mullerierabe-taljaard4867]

Oksana Camaret You have already contributed ....the “you” you are today are more than enough to enrich this planet we all share, by your experience of our humanity. Thank you.

[@jon7708]

Your story gives hope to those whom life is filled with suffering, and your journey led you to where you are today!!! I’m amazed by people circumstances and how you persevered through that, bless your heart!!!

[@minusone5162]

The good thing about people like him is that they've got nothing to prove. No pretentiousness, just a relentless drive to squeeze all their human potential and share it to the world.

[@sanjayp215]

Wow! got it!

[@thehighpriestess8431]

Minus One yes... it’s beautiful to watch him talk.

[@BJMillerMD]

Thank you!

[@michaelnazar9358]

.

[@nilotpalbharti3437]

Imagining a world where everyone spoke like him.

[@nandaacademy]

Dr. Miller, you inspire me! The way you talked, the command you had over your voice was beyond words can describe. It was an honor listening to you!

[@davidjustin4589]

I didn't think I could watch this all the way through, but I did. I am at or near the end of my journey through life being accompanied by Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. His talk, in a strange way, at least in my mind, gave me some hope that I will accept my death gracefully. At 74 I have lived a decent life but I wish I would have had a little more time, but that wasn't in the cards. Glad I found this vid.

[@iamessence6268]

Listen to the book of 'Tao Te Ching' before you go. I also going through a terminal illness. 💗👍

[@loveofinquiry8067]

I think I would want more time like you❤️

[@tientrinh6906]

I hope you’re still hanging in there. We need good people like you.

[@junerivera4045]

Remember, this is your crescendo! Live fully

[@leolee4549]

@@iamessence6268 Hope you will always have peace in your heart,we will meet up there eventually,Love and Hugsssssssss

[@reneet5858]

Thank you. Thank you so very much. My late Husband and I could only get 3 out of our 6 kids to understand his decision to return home, and LIVE whatever time he had left. He was such a good man, so gentle, a mountain of a man, hands so calloused from years of blue collar work, which he never complained about, instead always left work at the door when he got home. He was a Vietnam Vet. He had PTSD. He was a fantastic Papa to 18 Grandchildren. He was also poisoned by Agent Orange. He went through two rounds of what they told us were the harshest Chemo treatments around. They gave him an 8% chance to get to Stem Cell Transplant. He took 2 rounds of Chemo, and we knew at the end of the 2nd one, that all of his major organs were damaged. He made the choice to live out what time he was given here at home, he wished to die here at home. He wanted only to be with me, our dogs, and see the kids & Grandkids as much as he could. What they told us would be 6-8 weeks turned out to be 8 months. We even went on a trip to Colorado for 10 days. If Death can be " Good" ?, he had a " Good Death". He was only Bedbound for 4 days, at the very end of his life. He knew me, and was coherent until 36 hours before he died. He looked at me 48 hours before he died, and said " It's going to happen very soon". His biggest concern? " I don't want to leave you". My point is this: We all start dying the day we are born. Death has been made to be enemy even in our old age, and many times the Medical people feel everything must be done to avoid it. What is MOST important, is how we LIVE, even when we are actively dying. After his death our other 3 kids finally understood this, through watching their Dad LIVE, while he was dying. Those 3 are all in various Medical fields. I have been by myself ( the kids scattered from Alaska and Tacoma to various parts of the South and here in Kansas) for1.5 years now. I've really struggled with his death. I know they say it takes time to heal. I think...I can only make room, and carry him with me forward, because to ask me to just " get over" this just isn't going to happen. Again, Thank You for spreading awareness about the possibility of having a " Good Death". It is so needed. And with the Baby Boomers aging in great numbers, it is vital to get this information out to others.

[@jagmeetsingh01]

Thank you for sharing this :) provides another dimension to his talk. I wish you all the best!

[@ishughimire9994]

❤️

[@anaassis7800]

This comment made me tear up. So often we think we know all there is to know in life by the time you've become an adult, and yet I find myself learning that new phases of life bring new knowledge and experiences I did not know I needed to actually understand the realms of life and death. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope time has brought you peace

[@debuhrich4851]

Thank you for sharing this with me.

[@neildmedia]

Thank you for your post. It really adds value to the talk itself.

[@xbergerin]

What a beautiful talk. I was expecting something different, something more normative, behavior-oriented maybe. And I am blown away by the simplicity and depth of his message: that being connected with the world through our body, through our senses, can be the key to a meaningful life and death. For me that's very true. Really thankful for Ted Talks like this..

[@AlexUSAIndiana]

I remember when I came home from 1 month in ICU and 1 month in hospital (after my medically induced coma), I came home and I cried when I turned on my faucet with water in my bathroom. It was a miracle to me! I was standing near my sink, with both hands holding my upper weight above the sink and the water just running down the drain so effortlessly and I was sobbing watching how fast that water was coming and going..... Right now I work at the hospital as a PCA (while in school to advance my career in healthcare), yesterday one of my patient told me a Goodbye. He was almost fully sedated and just this past Sunday he was thanking me for taking very good care of him and I even met his lovely family and he introduced me to his family members. I was standing next to his PCU bed and held his hand while he looked at me with one eye open as he stroke my hand with his large tumb... I did not want to let go of his hand.... I went to our hospital's elevators, went up to my unit floor, went into the bathroom and sobbed quietly.

[@evanprice5470]

This has to be the most beautifully written ted talk I've ever watched

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you Evan!

[@evanprice5470]

@@BJMillerMD No, thank you!

[@lionel.messi10]

@@BJMillerMD thankyou ❤️

[@Olhamo]

yes, I agree. It is diamantine, in the warmest way

[@carloskleiber8500]

Sanctimonious sermon

[@malcolmfigueiredo7018]

Why does it feel like he is holding back his tears. His eyes are moist and you can tell he wants to cry. I wish we could all give him a big HUG to tell him we never noticed his disability all through his talk because he was so georgous in every way.

[@juliamorales6620]

He's the complete package. Beautiful inside and out.

[@harnooraujla6191]

He wouldn’t want you to not notice his disability

[@neatstuff8200]

@@juliamorales6620 ]] ppp

[@user-tq1zl8xu9f]

I think he looks very handsome. legs fit him (not being mean). he wears em well. obviously sad he got them taken away. life happens ( not being insensitive) we all have cray stories.

[@rosilovdal8745]

He's not crying for himself, but rather for all of us, with hope that we will 'see' what he is saying.

[@2.0mhllala]

This is the best Ted talk I’ve seen… his eyes show his trauma and intelligence! He is beautiful!

[@sachinagarwal3469]

I saw this TED talk and it reminds me of Guest Houses in Varanasi, India where people anticipating death come to reside. The managers of these guest houses have very intriguing, intricate and interesting accounts of what people want at the end of their lives.

[@samaddadahine9412]

Damn, this wasn't a talk. This was a performance!

[@RichardWilliams-fz5lo]

juju

[@RichardWilliams-fz5lo]

Bjork

[@BJMillerMD]

Thank you Sam!

[@77JMW]

That was like one of the great philosophers giving a Ted talk. He understands things at a very high level.

[@barrymiller7771]

Simply brilliant. I wrote down 10 lessons for life that I will care with me in my wheel chair.

[@BJMillerMD]

Thank you!

[@johnhaoandfriends302]

🥰

[@honeycubey3120]

He's so in tune with himself. A really beautiful talk. I can feel the purity of his soul.♥️

[@Juxtapose76]

Thanks for sharing.💖💯

[@BingoBilingual]

"Learn to live well not in spite of death, but because of it." Words of wisdom! Thank you! Moved to tears so many times listening to this great speech.

[@ruthauma4700]

There are mountains of sorrow that cannot move and one way or another we will all kneel there. I felt that

[@peadog007]

Ruth Auma I love what you said. Where did you get that from? Beautiful!

[@vaibhavpindikura3841]

@@peadog007 It was stated in the video.

[@mdaze9753]

@@peadog007 BJ Miller says it @ 17:17

[@shoneyluvsAmerica]

I know ! That is just profound and should be etched in stone for posterity.

[@My_Thoughts_On]

“Perspective, that kind of alchemy we humans get to play with, turning anguish into...flowers”.

[@BJMillerMD]

thanks for commenting!

[@rpickupbug]

The entire talk was a liquid poem. I was mesmerized by the entire thing.

[@lrhcconrad2230]

Perspective was given us by our maker . alchemy has nothing to do with anything of the natural human mind . Dont be fooled ,if you already have been , there is forgiveness for you and me !

[@My_Thoughts_On]

@@lrhcconrad2230 Thanks

[@lrhcconrad2230]

@@My_Thoughts_On 🌹🌺🏵️🌻🌼💮💐❤️🌹

[@mellowe7401]

Beautiful. If only more physicians could be as empathetic as this man. Yes his eyes speak volumes. Ones of grief, pain, compassion and care. Thank you for this wonderful talk. Giving hope onto a subject that can seem so hopeless 💜💜.

[@briantimbal8711]

The sincerity in his eyes says a lot

[@FreeOnlineMoneyMaker]

No legs, seen Death in the face, and regular people complain everyday about nothing . BJ Miller you define Inspiration. Thank You.

[@gelatinocyte6270]

When they complain, there has to be something.

[@Michelle-pn9xt]

Most people do not complain about nothing.

[@Processor609]

FreeOnline MoneyMaker the heart needs release. It's not complaining it's "expressing". Everybody's journey is different and judging anybody from the outside is completely wrong. Putting down others and glorifying him? Like can you anymore inconsiderate?? Do you know what people have to currently go through plus what they've already been through that you literally do not know anything about?.. all emotions comes from thoughts or an event or result.. from something and there's a reason for every feeling.

[@kalikoveena5206]

He is a regular person too, its necessary to realize that at a glance the sparrow is nothing until you realize it's worries are just as great as yours

[@highlyfavored2434]

And one arm*

[@davegoodridge8352]

Wonderful talk. I'm just a simple man. I visit my Father at the nursing home, where he is spending his final days. I also volunteer, when I can, at a local animal shelter. I see such longing and loneliness at both places. If I could, somehow, I know that both of those places could meet each other's needs. Just wondering out loud. Thanks

[@cormano64]

+David Goodridge "If I could, somehow, I know that both of those places could meet each other's needs" That actually sounds like an idea... there's certainly some logistics to consider, but it never really crossed my mind before this. Good one.

[@nexisnorthwest6069]

Hello, just a thought. my wife is a life inrichment director at a large senior retirement facility, independent and assisted. She has set up a local pet therapy group and has seen a very posative response. Best of luck to you in moving forward with your ideas.

[@cormano64]

oNEXISo Northwest Got any links online for that? Because this is a word worth spreading.

[@davegoodridge8352]

+cormano64 no it's just an idea, or a wish

[@waa2a0]

+David Goodridge youre a genius

[@katfisch7119]

This man is not “holding back a river” or “lonely inside” as many people are quick to assume. He has accepted his life’s trajectory and is living his life more fully and deeply than most of us ever will, not shying away from any aspects of what it means to be human. To those who want to attribute only suffering and sorrow to him, I say that this is more a reflection of your discomfort with him rather than any discomfort he has with himself

[@anjurkrishnan7831]

He is an enlightened soul, look at his eyes... the compassion, empathy etc are clearly seen... a great orator....surprisingly I felt refreshed after listening to him. Keep up the good work and all the best.

[@zahidraza1902]

His eyes say so much about himself....I couldn't listen to him much because his eyes are louder than his voice. Suddenly my life's problem seemed so small.

[@TM-pj7yu]

creepy

[@WinningFace]

@@TM-pj7yu how was this creepy? Enlighten me 😒

[@lensafransa2630]

exactly for me too :")

[@seanjapsenferrors3978]

It greatly struck me, 'It was really nothing'

[@givdb5513]

The same

[@christinetemblique1016]

His empathy is profound because he experienced near death & recovering his life. His talk is so touching.

[@BJMillerMD]

thanks Christine!

[@dwaynejones1555]

Christine Definitely

[@Geneattenborough]

His accident gave as much as it took…

[@dawapeljor8945]

Even I experienced the death at my workplace at might night alone twice

[@roshnik5137]

Empathetic people suffer a lot in this world.

[@skyzthalimit09]

As a childhood patient now an adult caregiver and advocate. This is such a meaningful message with questions about living well while living with illness.

[@KD-sz5bx]

Watched this for one of my Psych courses. This put tears in my eyes. The way he spoke, the usage of vocabulary, the utter genius of his presence and the way he evoked the entire room. This was by far the best Ted talk I've came across and everything he said made sense in my own personal understandings. Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

[@palatrass]

"Let death be what takes us, not lack of imagination"

[@BJMillerMD]

I'm happy to know this sentence resonated with you! Thanks for highlighting it.

[@palatrass]

@@BJMillerMD Thank You for such an inspiring and insightful presentation and also openly sharing your work experiences with everyone of us. Keep going and know that have you influenced millions of lives. You are Great!

[@Stopwars0809]

'let death be what takes us, not lack of imagination.' You sir, deserved that standing ovation!

[@BJMillerMD]

Thanks Adil

[@lurettagarner9670]

YES LAAAWWWDDD!!!!!

[@krispa07]

I feel blessed to be able to watch this gem of a video.

[@1inchpunisher715]

Facts 🙏

[@allatones]

Rewatched, AGAIN, and it’s still so poignant and emotional. Thank you for existing and sharing your energy with us. It ripples and we are better for it. :’)

[@loverlei79]

I still remember the first dog I saw after living in the hospital for a year. he wasn't even a rehab dog. just someone's pet. I cried and cried. I never thought I'd see a dog again.

[@duartedasilva7171]

“There are mountains of sorrows that cannot move; and one way of another, we’ll all kneel there.”

[@momofschnauzers]

Poignant, eloquent, from-the-heart delivery. His message is one that we ALL need to hear and keep in our hearts as we journey through life to the inevitable time of saying goodbye.

[@lurettagarner9670]

AMEN B!!!!!

[@Disheartened6]

I get what he was saying about being in the hospital 🏥 & getting to feel the snowball ❄️ I was stuck in the hospital for a month due to COVID, (pneumonia/respiratory failure) almost died & when I got the opportunity to stand for the first time in PT, I looked out towards the window 🪟 got to see nature & the rain 🌧️ & it was so beautiful. A new appreciation & perspective everything that was around me that I never noticed before🙏❤️

[@kproc3955]

💜

[@guigondi7671]

I feel like i lack something, perhaps life experience or introspection, to truly comprehend the weight of the words of this man.

[@giurgindemilan]

hold the thought. Carefree or not having major problems aside of work-money-survival-sports etc isn't all that bad for many. Maybe from your comment you wish to understand more.... start giving back, say 10% of your time in volunteering? If that is empathy lacking that is another route to dig, yet empathy comes from common experiences and young age generallt gifts you of a smaller amount of them to relate to.

[@hugoboss9387]

You lack nothing but his experience will be quite his own expression of the grief and joy he was dealt. Your experience will be differnet and the same. Hope that explains something to you.

[@jonasdamion1627]

this guy lost 2.5 limbs, works in hospice, and is probably much older than you, so don't worry about it just do what you can do to get more immersed in life every chance you get

[@patriciarussell5463]

So maybe you should consider yourself one of the Lucky Ones, but then again...

[@camilaguzman2543]

I have to say it, He is very handsome!

[@ashleybyrd2015]

No, he's BJ Miller.

[@kendallevans4079]

No, you didn't "have to say it", you wanted to say it. Did you even listen to anything he said?

[@camilaguzman2543]

@@kendallevans4079 calm down, easy tiger. Yes, I did. And, because I did it. I noticed he is indeed very good looking. Breath deeply girl.

[@kendallevans4079]

@@camilaguzman2543 You are very shallow, to bad for you.

[@camilaguzman2543]

@@kendallevans4079 I am not. ❤️

[@buddahflower2424]

i had to watch this for my medical humanities course in college. I was dreading watching a 20-min video at midnight because I was tired but we had to have it watched by tomorrow. Let me just tell you, one of the best videos I've ever viewed. Period. The eloquence and poise of this man...wow. Many of the figures we have learned of are just outstanding role models and Dr. Miller is one of them. I certainly don't regret spending a mere 20 minutes to watch this educational and beautiful video.

[@leilanipacheco9937]

We have all suffered loss, and suffered trauma, and as they say "no one escapes life." It just feels that everyone around us has it all. This talk makes us realize that someone always has it worse than another, though in my own darkest days of having no family, my husband cheated and I left, and then my brother passed away. I thought there was no god. I only have to listen to others like BJ, to remind me that we all suffer. And it is trying to get back up, and find any type of perspective to help others, as well as, yourself. When I got my rescue dog, he did in turn rescue me, as he would never leave, and was a constant companion. I receive more unconditional love from animals than humans. I think if you are real, not fake and consumed with greed, power, and the need to just posses material wealth, you get the message. I hope to be in love again one day, but in the interim I feel blessed to be here when others are not, and try to be happy and proud of my little accomplishments and always try to be kind and make someone smile. If that's as far as life gets me, then I did o.k. Blessings to BJ for this reminder.

[@saramariasdotter3681]

What a strong and loveable soul you are. Your wishes will certainly come true! ❤️

[@mangobanana2982]

I don't understand why we waste our time during our lives to wait for a perfect moment, when as he describes the things we yearn for, these moments that connect us to this earth are right before us. We do not have to wait until death almost upon us. We just need to take a step back from our busy lives and understand the beauty of each day and living moment

[@InnerResearcher]

His eyes hold the wisdom of the whole world. Wow....

[@kamalaulakh9332]

It's Gabie Well said dear

[@BJMillerMD]

Thank you Gabie

[@all-caps3927]

Too often we see TED talkers share a vision, and us viewers or ‘patients’ look and we wonder “how is their life so perfect?”. The truth it their life isn’t perfect, I really resonated with this talk because you can clearly visualise the price everyone has to pay for their mistakes. This guy, even without legs, literally and metaphorically stood up and got his life back together. Just know that when something goes wrong, as it always does! There is always hope.

[@VKA00376]

It is people like you whom inspire me deeply consider my professional goals. As much as I have enjoyed critical care as an RN, I work very closely with palliative because so many just do not want that level of invasive care, the bleeping monitors, the inability to sleep, etc... It seems like a difficult path to walk, but it also appears rewarding to provide a patient with the highest quality of their limited time left on this Earth.

[@SaffyKaffy]

I come back to this video, each time I feel sad/depressed/hopeless.... it reminds me to LIVE again.

[@BJMillerMD]

I'm glad to read this is helpful, Mona

[@halcyon_echo42]

This is an amazing offering to take the time to truly value and appreciate the life we live, the world we share, and the abilities we have to experience wonder. I am in awe of this man

[@pedroayllon4293]

I do the same after having my heartbroken after a 7 year relationship. When I feel down and lose hope I watch,too.

[@motiverendesitater6882]

What really matters at the end of life ? nothing matters......we are just a FLUKE......like worms..many humans take birth and then die........ the big bang was a fluke...the first amoeba was a fluke....everything is a fluke !!! jus dont live a SERIOUS LIFE..or a CARELESS LIFE...just a live a life of acceptance and make sure , you do smart CHOICES IN LIFE...life is nothing but CHOICES !!! cheers !!

[@p-lit189]

Mona H. I hope you don't mind my advice. Whenever you feel sad or depressed, you must keep yourself busy. Just do any healthy habits or activity that can occupies your mind and make you physically tired in the end of the day. (Sorry for my english 😅✌️) I hope it would help u.

[@zinj2618]

best speaker i have ever seen, this guy could talk about nachos and i would pay full attention

[@toukiemortimer7030]

Lol

[@purplesuicide8561]

Anyone could talk about nachos and I’d pay full attention

[@katejames2054]

😂😂

[@BJMillerMD]

Thank you!

[@Drew_Hurst]

Be that nurse! It's free, yet so valuable. We can all do it and all it takes is to think of Another's wellbeing as well as, or above, Our Own. 🌬🕊💚

[@hvsquarel]

I am writing this when I am 24, and I have to say without shame that there are some things that my being hasn't risen to fully fathom or grasp (like certain books, movies etc.) and one of it is this Ted Talk, and I plan to come back to this Ted talk, time and again, till I can fully fathom every word this man says. All I can I say is that I am enamoured by his eyes and everything it tries to convey. Till then I hope, I appreciate the smallest things in life that makes my life so fulfilling and stay grateful for everything I have. Good day to you ❤

[@mudit5151]

the way he delivered this talk, its beautiful.. just amazing

[@mudit5151]

made my day.. this thought is wonderful

[@mudit5151]

I'd like to secure a "happy death" pack for myself right away.. maybe that would help me to live without fear..

[@ikergarcia7794]

+mudit gupta Living with fear to death is a fault.

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you mudit!

[@mudit5151]

@@BJMillerMD subbed to your channel.. thanks for making an account finally

[@petestrat07]

What an impressive human being. Imagine having a conversation with him?

[@MrBlisss1]

Lets talk about nothing.inc

[@BJMillerMD]

Thanks Pete!

[@Veraalim]

I can feel his soul, from the bottom of my heart.

[@TeatimeMedium]

As a medium that works with the "living" and the "deceased," I have come to learn from Spirit that all illness is a gift of presence of mind and body, an opportunity to "reset" and reevaluate. Once we accept this, we have all the time we need to love and be loved. I am grateful for this talk and the conversation it sparked.

[@greyharmonix]

What an honest and sobering talk about life and death. I'm glad he didn't go down the well versed path of saying that what matters in life is family and friends. The comforts in life can come at a much simpler cost, like baking cookies, playing, or just honest compassion. I think we're on the path to being more people-centric. Even though the internet is flooded with comments that would never be uttered in real-life by those very commenters. Still, it was worse in the past. I think people in general have a better sense that a real person, who shares the same time and space, is commenting or better yet sharing a thought. Hopefully in this lifetime I'll see the day that governments stop propaganda that champions being an individual who's success is measured in how much currency they have, and instead champions community, honesty and compassion at all levels. It's the disconnect that people have with each other that leads to war and angst. Hopefully things will change one day....

[@UpJourney]

+greyharmonix People are putting to much of their love, time and energy in getting successful and being focussed. There is no time and energy left for those things that really matter in life: family and friends.

[@lilacosmanthus]

+Carmen Jacob family and friends don't matter. Because those things are ego-feeding.

[@mikel.6256]

Indigo Osmanthus wat? ninethousand?

[@lilacosmanthus]

Mike L. 9000?

[@mikel.6256]

Indigo Osmanthus power lvl?

[@kellyheard971]

For some reason, I cannot find the quote, but this speaker reminds me of it. " through the things that I have suffered, I have learned to ease the suffering of others".

[@markiewicz77]

People like you restore my faith in humanity. It was eye opening experience to listen to you. The most beautiful and true TED I’ve seen. Wish I could have a fraction of your compassion and wisdom.

[@hellokitty9]

He is a very good communicator.

[@hippopond1]

“Death kills a man, but the idea of death can save him” E.M.Forster. This is a really important TED talk. All disciplines need each other. If we separate them, if we separate techniques from purposes, we lose the meaning of things and of ourselves. Thank you!

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you Iain!

[@SexualPotatoes]

17:50 "I know some of you are working on this" was so cute

[@rajeshgupta1055]

MEANWHILE..

[@blackraptor5325]

+Nishant Gupta too late, I alady figured it out bro, lol

[@JF-xq6fr]

I was a hospice volunteer for veterans, and what an amazing experience I was privileged to be a part of. I never once heard any of my ephemeral friends wish for more time, or state even a hint of the fear of death - I did however come to find understanding and acceptance from a fellow veteran without judgement, was what comforted many and allowed a peaceful passing... Some shared with me horrific experiences wrought from war that I believe I was the only one to ever be told. You could feel the weight lifted as if a tick on a checklist that had been completed. I also witnessed growth even as their bodies failed. I witnessed redemption by a change of mind. I discovered for many that above all else, dignity was what they wished afforded to them; not pity, not sadness, not platitudes; simply being treated with dignity. I am so grateful for what I have learned, how I view my own mortality, and absolutely what I want and don't want if I am in a similar situation.

[@greenlamp7809]

Thank you, on behalf of physicians around the world, for reminding us the essence of what we do.