What really matters at the end of life | BJ Miller | TED

[@jvyu9628]

His eyes speak of how badly he wants us to understand where he is coming from, and that we, too, will realize the importance of his message. I’m grateful for having the opportunity of watching this today

[@doloresdrury8018]

I felt the same way about his eyes...

[@kbgogh7324]

eyes as on Rebrandt's portraits!

[@nathanfarr6265]

The way he speaks really reminds me of Christoph Waltz

[@Feber2001]

Me too! Amazing message

[@priyasharma6980]

Only those will understand the depth and reality of his speech who have lost their loved ones in hospital...hospitals should become more human centric

[@TheSKINNMAN]

My biggest thing is loneliness I am so tired of being lonely I have a construction company I am 62. I work about 6 1/2 days a week as many hours as I can. I hate to come home because no one cares if I am home at all I have two great sons. Three great grandsons. They live there lives way far away. So I have been single fir so many years it’s hard to figure out how many. Can’t find someone to care about. They all seem to have so many problems it’s better to be alone So there you go I am alone. I give up. I have seen so much and been though so much. Both Dude did my family is gone. I have a few distant cousins. It seem I have given up hope to have a relationship Do you know how many times I have heard theses words. Well when you stop looking it will happen. I spend my soars time helping people. That seem so help me is a lot of ways. Anyway that’s my story God bless you all if you read my post Peace

[@FoOtBaLLFrEaK4434]

if you seek, you shall find. The opposite can have an unapproachable effect.

[@TheSKINNMAN]

Andrew I hope and pray that I can find someone to spend the rest of my life with

[@FoOtBaLLFrEaK4434]

TheSKINNMAN and so you will. When you do, commit like your life depends on it. Not necessarily in a forceful manner, but in a relentless one.

[@Newofficegirl]

Adopting a rescue dog will change your life. Save a dog and it will save you.

[@A-M-F-A]

Dear friend. If you can adopt either a cat or a dog. Their love and company will change your life. Wish you the best :)

[@ferdawsnaeemi]

Not only his words are powerful, his entire being is another thing. The world needs more men like him

[@DaleMiller-km4fn]

Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near. Outer space is fake a hoax. The Earth is flat with a dome called the firmament above the dome is water above the water are the heavens. There are fallen angels imprisoned underground by God. Azazel aka Lucifer is at Area 51. He is where all the technology, systems and lies come from. Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near.

[@kreator-ys1yz]

More People like him.

[@netsurfer8507]

It's truly remarkable how his eyes glisten with emotion while his voice remains steady and unwavering.

[@DaleMiller-km4fn]

Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near. Outer space is fake a hoax. The Earth is flat with a dome called the firmament above the dome is water above the water are the heavens. There are fallen angels imprisoned underground by God. Azazel aka Lucifer is at Area 51. He is where all the technology, systems and lies come from. Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near.

[@jieunkim9543]

0

[@ChristopherDixon-yy5lg]

Very well put

[@TR-vh1fi]

I was thinking the same thing

[@vairagya108]

His eyes. They indicate wisdom. A wisdom that only comes from having been through a lot of suffering. And also, from having overcome it.

[@PiseyHean]

Just look his eyes :(

[@eugenianubia]

his eyes are full of pain.

[@cHaRrOcK]

i don't nook rick... he seems a bit high.

[@robertbarber7343]

@Pascal-Olivier Premont looks like he smoked weed just before this.

[@shubhamdahale1995]

Yeah, it's totally true.

[@heytherebarry]

This Ted talk is the one that has had the most impact on my life, I return every year to rewatch it and remind myself of what really matters.

[@radulescuandrei6178]

i showed this to med students in class, they didn‘t really react but nurses/ nursing school found this amazing

[@kathleenbillock8479]

Avery good idea!!! I will follow suit!!! TY!

[@jedmisty]

Not for me.

[@theremnant7497]

Dr BJ's authenticity is so notable, and I agree with him about focusing on life all the way to the end. I'm a return viewer as well

[@bettinarossi7908]

Me too,friend.🙏💜

[@Unzyme]

I love how he presented the message so calmly. Acceptance is the key to happiness.

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you!

[@lurettagarner9670]

BEAUTIFUL SAID!!!!

[@trafficjon400]

What message? a message of something never proven?

[@OcTHH]

@@lurettagarner9670 ,,,,,,,,,,,,

[@yasminealhawiti3668]

That’s correct 👍🏻

[@sadi6351]

"What's most important to people who are closer to death? -Comfort, feeling unburdened and unburdening to those they love; existential peace, and a sense of wonderment and spirituality.", well said!

[@christinetemblique1016]

His empathy is profound because he experienced near death & recovering his life. His talk is so touching.

[@BJMillerMD]

thanks Christine!

[@dwaynejones1555]

Christine Definitely

[@Geneattenborough]

His accident gave as much as it took…

[@dawapeljor8945]

Even I experienced the death at my workplace at might night alone twice

[@roshnik5137]

Empathetic people suffer a lot in this world.

[@luzbuensuceso2916]

What he does not say is more powerful than what he says. His eyes, his pause, his being...

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you luz

[@umaraghavendran1347]

I completely agree I can relate to it I just love everything about him All he said reminded me of the book “ being mortal”.....

[@user-os1jw1nf4p]

The power of someone being fully present in the moment

[@electrictroy2010]

RELIGIOUS PEOPLE have the same earnest eyes, as they tell you about God or gods. It doesn’t make the belief any less imaginary .

[@senior1110]

An unusually elegant talk, especially about death. God bless this man and all his patients.

[@nicolainjumsenrregaard7228]

The god who gave him missing legs in the first place.. lul

[@viceliag3916]

Not the time.

[@annaanderson7042]

GOD, not "god".

[@annaanderson7042]

And everything happens for a reason. Bad turns into good. The accident gave him a wake up and now he's an exceptional doctor.

[@armandrodriguez8501]

Try actually listening to him before making a jackass of yourself. His legs are missing because of a stupid choice he made as a young man, in much the same way your humanity is missing because you've chosen to reject He who gives life meaning.

[@butterfly1889]

He understood the meaning of life :kindness ,compassion and love in all circumstances

[@DaleMiller-km4fn]

Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near. Outer space is fake a hoax. The Earth is flat with a dome called the firmament above the dome is water above the water are the heavens. There are fallen angels imprisoned underground by God. Azazel aka Lucifer is at Area 51. He is where all the technology, systems and lies come from. Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near.

[@roselaguerre4920]

Sir, you spoke with unfettered eloquence, boldness, and poise about a very difficult subject- dying. And you did so with so much grace and empathy. It was brilliant. Thank you.

[@chandrepinto9316]

Agreed

[@normanbates569]

Nonsense.

[@sharon21382]

@@normanbates569 *Stop.*

[@DR-nh6oo]

Norman Bates You are showing your projection my friend.

[@debbiehorn8263]

Loved This , Dr. Miller is so good at what is true and so knowing . I believe every thing he said was from his heart and not on a piece of paper , Amazing !

[@thomasj5722]

I broke my back for 14 years ago, and now i live in constant agonizing pain and can hardly sit down or do anything. Your view of the world change when that happens to you, i don´t have much friends anymore but i appreciate even the smalles little thing i see every day now and i appreciate so much when i spend time with people, i try to find the good in anything

[@fortheloveofdog5622]

Don't know why - I just said a prayer for you - wish you had less pain, or no pain

[@HarshilSarvakar]

sorry for your loss. brother. may universe help you.

[@tatianagrosch7535]

Sending love

[@agnesbajka6784]

Thomas if you are lonely send me a message.. I am happy to talk to you. @inesbajka

[@amazingyear9042]

You are a wonderful person❣️

[@Ryan-jx4vh]

This guy speaks like an author... very articulate and descriptive. Great talk!!

[@moffig1]

Love listening to him

[@BJMillerMD]

Thanks Ryan!

[@JamilaMusayeva]

What a handsome man! He speaks so eloquently 😍

[@jayoopatwardhan4040]

He is evolved and aware . We are all born that way but stop living really artificiality gets in and we get lost to ourselves .

[@gordonsmith8923]

What a soft spoken gentleman. Deep, reflective, and heartfelt.

[@BJMillerMD]

thanks Gordon

[@minusone5162]

The good thing about people like him is that they've got nothing to prove. No pretentiousness, just a relentless drive to squeeze all their human potential and share it to the world.

[@sanjayp215]

Wow! got it!

[@thehighpriestess8431]

Minus One yes... it’s beautiful to watch him talk.

[@BJMillerMD]

Thank you!

[@michaelnazar9358]

.

[@malcolmfigueiredo7018]

Why does it feel like he is holding back his tears. His eyes are moist and you can tell he wants to cry. I wish we could all give him a big HUG to tell him we never noticed his disability all through his talk because he was so georgous in every way.

[@juliamorales6620]

He's the complete package. Beautiful inside and out.

[@harnooraujla6191]

He wouldn’t want you to not notice his disability

[@neatstuff8200]

@@juliamorales6620 ]] ppp

[@0911-x7t]

I think he looks very handsome. legs fit him (not being mean). he wears em well. obviously sad he got them taken away. life happens ( not being insensitive) we all have cray stories.

[@rosilovdal8745]

He's not crying for himself, but rather for all of us, with hope that we will 'see' what he is saying.

[@031neezy]

every so often you stumble on something that almost feels like magic. this speech is so much more than the sum of its words, it really is a piece of art.

[@lurettagarner9670]

YES INDEED!!!!

[@kellyheard971]

For some reason, I cannot find the quote, but this speaker reminds me of it. " through the things that I have suffered, I have learned to ease the suffering of others".

[@Miriam-fk9wr]

I can listen to this gentleman speak his story, he’s a gentle soul.

[@user199543999]

You mean "soul", not "sole". The sole is on the bottom of a foot. (Sorry for being a smartass)

[@Miriam-fk9wr]

@@user199543999 yes thank you 🌷didn’t take notice.

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you Miriam

[@McCready12]

That was like one of the great philosophers giving a Ted talk. He understands things at a very high level.

[@barrymiller7771]

Simply brilliant. I wrote down 10 lessons for life that I will care with me in my wheel chair.

[@BJMillerMD]

Thank you!

[@johnhaoandfriends302]

🥰

[@rodrigogarces2254]

I read sadness deep in his eyes, but he is strong & powerful. Glory to him !

[@duartedasilva7171]

“There are mountains of sorrows that cannot move; and one way of another, we’ll all kneel there.”

[@pinkspiltmilk]

He's so beautiful. I love how he talks in such a real way.

[@BJMillerMD]

thanks Hails

[@Stopwars0809]

'let death be what takes us, not lack of imagination.' You sir, deserved that standing ovation!

[@BJMillerMD]

Thanks Adil

[@lurettagarner9670]

YES LAAAWWWDDD!!!!!

[@francoisdavis7254]

I can literally feel his deeper pain internal suffering by just looking in his eyes....I just want to hug this man

[@audiokechuyenchobe1696]

Undoubtedly, his eyes cry a lot for a long periods of time but he don't give up, overcame it to be stronger.

[@ruthauma4700]

There are mountains of sorrow that cannot move and one way or another we will all kneel there. I felt that

[@peadog007]

Ruth Auma I love what you said. Where did you get that from? Beautiful!

[@vaibhavpindikura3841]

@@peadog007 It was stated in the video.

[@mdaze9753]

@@peadog007 BJ Miller says it @ 17:17

[@shoneyluvsAmerica]

I know ! That is just profound and should be etched in stone for posterity.

[@Coco-pr3rz]

'Find beauty and meaning in anything and everything. Love each moments ferociously. Learn to live well not in spite of death, but because of it. Let death be what take us, not lack of imagination.'

[@RedFaceeee]

I’ve seen this in my life. My 3 older brothers died in the last 6 years. They were 27, 28 and 33. They had congenital diseases and I was their primary care giver. We never thought of death, yet we did talk about it’s being. We focused on laughing and thinking of the now. My brothers lived shorts and difficult lives, yet they never frowned. They always thought focused on what little they had and which liberated their souls. They emanated a light form them that attracted everyone towards them.

[@hydee6018]

I am truly sorry for your loss. and I have been there..

[@saminamariani1510]

I cannot begin to imagine how difficult this must have been...or how much courage you and your siblings must have had in dealing with this... it is overwhelmingly tragic. My thoughts are with you

[@cynthiamarston2208]

Oh how hard for you. I lost my brother and sister before their time. I had survivors guilt but at the same time I had a certain courage to go ahead and make selfish choices to live the best I could doing something that was always a thing for me. It required sacrifices. It turned out just fine. Not great or glorious but at least I tried! In their honor that they couldn’t.

[@sureshvanjani4618]

Losing near ones that too in a short span of time you must have touched the bed of river called SORROW. This leads to LIBERATION from the ‘SELF’.

[@oladman9058]

I cannot even begin to imagine your loss. So heartbreaking. Thanks for the courage to share such a private and monumental story.

[@InnerResearcher]

His eyes hold the wisdom of the whole world. Wow....

[@kamalaulakh9332]

It's Gabie Well said dear

[@BJMillerMD]

Thank you Gabie

[@davidjustin4589]

I didn't think I could watch this all the way through, but I did. I am at or near the end of my journey through life being accompanied by Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. His talk, in a strange way, at least in my mind, gave me some hope that I will accept my death gracefully. At 74 I have lived a decent life but I wish I would have had a little more time, but that wasn't in the cards. Glad I found this vid.

[@iamessence6268]

Listen to the book of 'Tao Te Ching' before you go. I also going through a terminal illness. 💗👍

[@loveofinquiry8067]

I think I would want more time like you❤️

[@tientrinh6906]

I hope you’re still hanging in there. We need good people like you.

[@junerivera4045]

Remember, this is your crescendo! Live fully

[@leolee4549]

@@iamessence6268 Hope you will always have peace in your heart,we will meet up there eventually,Love and Hugsssssssss

[@mudit5151]

the way he delivered this talk, its beautiful.. just amazing

[@mudit5151]

made my day.. this thought is wonderful

[@mudit5151]

I'd like to secure a "happy death" pack for myself right away.. maybe that would help me to live without fear..

[@ikergarcia7794]

+mudit gupta Living with fear to death is a fault.

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you mudit!

[@mudit5151]

@@BJMillerMD subbed to your channel.. thanks for making an account finally

[@mjtr1970]

He spoke from his heart and first hand experience, not something learned through books....world need such people speak often....love him

[@sammyy9223]

His eyes reflect that he has seen and gone through many many things on his life.

[@lolarushartland9411]

Mr Tech Dude Haha - TECH dude indeed ! What his eyes reflect is absolutely nothing to do with 'watery' or not - try a little less TECH and feel into what we mean here?

[@GiaielPace]

Of course he has been through a lot! He’s been through terrible shocking experience obviously.

[@joecermak7649]

Gio Biocampo too soon

[@HybridSol1221]

@@GiaielPace not cool

[@mangobanana2982]

I don't understand why we waste our time during our lives to wait for a perfect moment, when as he describes the things we yearn for, these moments that connect us to this earth are right before us. We do not have to wait until death almost upon us. We just need to take a step back from our busy lives and understand the beauty of each day and living moment

[@kssthmn]

"rather than just getting it out of the way, aging and dying can become a process of crescendo through to the end". started tearing up after this part. truly an inspiring line. i'm a huge fan of music and music composition, so this line is just bang on.

[@dvl889]

“ A crescendo till the end…” Ah yes, I will live happily all through my last days. I’m 83 now so the end is near. I’m curious…what will it be like ❤

[@EvelineNow]

When I decided to join a Paliative Care/Hospice group I learned since the end of life was inevitable I had to switch my priorities. I assisted people to their last journey with fun and the juices of their lives. I learned to live my own life as I saw fit for me. What a gift.

[@bronwyntanner4501]

Wowowowowowow. I'm a hospice caregiver. I love what you have to say

[@mr_brown5974]

"Loss is one thing but regret quiet another"

[@marian1493]

because regret does not allow you to deal with loss. to get up. move forward.

[@Yotrymp]

Potential turns into dead weight.

[@serenityinside1]

well said

[@charmedprince]

*quite

[@rossmclaughlin4461]

serenityinside1 w

[@Yrhdbsbsddsw]

his eyes say the real message

[@kpacuBua]

+harry rudd He's either on drugs or on some strong painkillers. I know the drug sparkle when I see it.

[@BrandonNZ]

+kpacuBua I know the troll sparkle when I see it, you sir are twinkling like a disco ball

[@natural91LC]

+harry rudd what message? O.o

[@Barncore]

+harry rudd There's some pain behind those eyes

[@mjoto]

+harry rudd gay?

[@hippopond1]

“Death kills a man, but the idea of death can save him” E.M.Forster. This is a really important TED talk. All disciplines need each other. If we separate them, if we separate techniques from purposes, we lose the meaning of things and of ourselves. Thank you!

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you Iain!

[@syedjafferimam5789]

"A part of me died early on and that's something we can all say one way or another " Thanks for such inspirational talk

[@trafficjon400]

Temporary for NO MAN Will convince much longer as we need prove of true love that can control for love and not tricks. or wants and wishing wells.

[@petestrat07]

What an impressive human being. Imagine having a conversation with him?

[@MrBlisss1]

Lets talk about nothing.inc

[@BJMillerMD]

Thanks Pete!

[@loverlei79]

I still remember the first dog I saw after living in the hospital for a year. he wasn't even a rehab dog. just someone's pet. I cried and cried. I never thought I'd see a dog again.

[@mahamamir9892]

What a beautiful message, conveyed more beautifully. I couldn't stop 'feeling' what he was saying. His every word was filled with empathy, wisdom, and a hidden, accepted pain behind that smile. May God bless his soul and strengthen him more.

[@Harlem55]

You smoke too much weed.

[@AlphaGeekgirl]

@@Harlem55 You are not human

[@mahamamir9892]

@@Harlem55 Hahaah. It would have been funny, but I am Muslim, brother. And I am appalled you couldn't relate to this story.

[@milmac5052]

Which god?, the one who did this to him?

[@electrictroy2010]

RELIGIOUS PEOPLE have the same earnest eyes, as they tell you about God or gods. It doesn’t make the belief any less imaginary .

[@KD-sz5bx]

Watched this for one of my Psych courses. This put tears in my eyes. The way he spoke, the usage of vocabulary, the utter genius of his presence and the way he evoked the entire room. This was by far the best Ted talk I've came across and everything he said made sense in my own personal understandings. Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

[@popamaximilian8540]

This is why the internet is a priceless gift.I am verry happy that I had the chance to learn from this man.

[@BJMillerMD]

i'm glad this was helpful, Maximilian

[@earlybird32]

KZbin is a fantastic information source

[@DavidStrain1953]

He is holding a river of compassion and living fully in the moment of now.. Eyes wide open. Ananda

[@NerokoMimi]

"Let death be what takes us, not the lack of imagination." This is one of the best speeches I've watched. You can see all these feelings in his eyes and his words are really touchy. We forget how to live today and worry too much about death. Time is precious for sure, but everything that makes us feel worths taking our time.

[@EndWell]

He just spoke at our symposium in case you're looking for more, just wonderful! kzbin.info/www/bejne/mIvVlXqfn8miask

[@BingoBilingual]

"Learn to live well not in spite of death, but because of it." Words of wisdom! Thank you! Moved to tears so many times listening to this great speech.

[@edwardseverinsen5598]

I don't know what it was but him holding back tears made me cry. "You can always find a shock of beauty or meaning in what life you have left. Like that snowball lasting for a perfect moment, all the while melting away." This part in particular struck a chord in me. It's very evident from his face and voice that he's extremely passionate about what he's talking about. Almost a sense of desperation because you can tell he really wants you to understand what he's saying. I love that. Genuineness and not any ego involved. That's beautiful. Thank you for that.

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you for the beautiful comment Edward!

[@electrictroy2010]

RELIGIOUS PEOPLE have the same earnest eyes, as they tell you about God or gods. It doesn’t make the belief any less imaginary .

[@jonahzah2698]

The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected. Only the wounded physician heals.” ― C.G. Jung Greetings from Ethiopia

[@dianepaul9846]

Beautiful comment. Btw, I love Ethiopia. I lived there for a couple years as a child. Wishing you peace.

[@tesstefera6334]

Nice to meet my fellow Ethiopians You are right Cheers

[@pikiwiki]

Greetings, Ethiopia. How's the weather?

[@allensandven0]

Great quote ,on so many levels

[@Munsjvc2]

Oh. I’ve always believed this, but never heard it said so we’ll!

[@Longhornechi]

I LOVE this guy, he’s handsome, smart and just gets it. His voice low and fairly quiet and audience is quiet, listening every word….Good man! We need MORE of this man

[@mywingedwords]

i agree that he is the quintessential thinking and feeling woman's crush :)

[@nandaacademy]

Dr. Miller, you inspire me! The way you talked, the command you had over your voice was beyond words can describe. It was an honor listening to you!

[@skandarc2810]

Absolutely beautiful, humble, moving talk. Even if this video was without sound, his eyes alone tell the story of his life and heart. Having a mother who passed away from a terrible terminal disease, I completely agree with him on the system and hospitals. There is some amazing healthcare professionals however, mainly nurses. So we took matters into our own hands and following the wishes of my mother. There is nothing, nothing more beautiful and peaceful, then seeing someone you love, leaving this earth with a smile on their face.

[@robertclark781]

Skandar C a

[@MelissaBrownapt215]

The eyes have it and he pauses so naturally in the right moments, letting the feeling sink in.

[@ricardoocampo8586]

Skandar C true

[@lynndurbin9476]

I have seen families fight in hospitals around the death of parents. Very upsetting to everyone.

[@АртемисФёдоровна]

My wish for my dad is to be able to return home and die here peacefully. There is nothing more I wish and pray for at this point.

[@reneet5858]

Thank you. Thank you so very much. My late Husband and I could only get 3 out of our 6 kids to understand his decision to return home, and LIVE whatever time he had left. He was such a good man, so gentle, a mountain of a man, hands so calloused from years of blue collar work, which he never complained about, instead always left work at the door when he got home. He was a Vietnam Vet. He had PTSD. He was a fantastic Papa to 18 Grandchildren. He was also poisoned by Agent Orange. He went through two rounds of what they told us were the harshest Chemo treatments around. They gave him an 8% chance to get to Stem Cell Transplant. He took 2 rounds of Chemo, and we knew at the end of the 2nd one, that all of his major organs were damaged. He made the choice to live out what time he was given here at home, he wished to die here at home. He wanted only to be with me, our dogs, and see the kids & Grandkids as much as he could. What they told us would be 6-8 weeks turned out to be 8 months. We even went on a trip to Colorado for 10 days. If Death can be " Good" ?, he had a " Good Death". He was only Bedbound for 4 days, at the very end of his life. He knew me, and was coherent until 36 hours before he died. He looked at me 48 hours before he died, and said " It's going to happen very soon". His biggest concern? " I don't want to leave you". My point is this: We all start dying the day we are born. Death has been made to be enemy even in our old age, and many times the Medical people feel everything must be done to avoid it. What is MOST important, is how we LIVE, even when we are actively dying. After his death our other 3 kids finally understood this, through watching their Dad LIVE, while he was dying. Those 3 are all in various Medical fields. I have been by myself ( the kids scattered from Alaska and Tacoma to various parts of the South and here in Kansas) for1.5 years now. I've really struggled with his death. I know they say it takes time to heal. I think...I can only make room, and carry him with me forward, because to ask me to just " get over" this just isn't going to happen. Again, Thank You for spreading awareness about the possibility of having a " Good Death". It is so needed. And with the Baby Boomers aging in great numbers, it is vital to get this information out to others.

[@jagmeetsingh01]

Thank you for sharing this :) provides another dimension to his talk. I wish you all the best!

[@ishughimire9994]

❤️

[@anaassis7800]

This comment made me tear up. So often we think we know all there is to know in life by the time you've become an adult, and yet I find myself learning that new phases of life bring new knowledge and experiences I did not know I needed to actually understand the realms of life and death. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope time has brought you peace

[@debuhrich4851]

Thank you for sharing this with me.

[@neildmedia]

Thank you for your post. It really adds value to the talk itself.

[@BITTME1030]

Now 36y of age; brought into this world by schizophrenic mother, taken away from her because she abused me (found out recently that someone saved my life by bringing me into the hospital) placed into orphanage, there after transferred into another in Russia. Finally being adopted at 10 years of age by an America mother who mentally and physically abused me until I moved out @ 18. I feel blessed to have gone through my journey to understand and appreciate life for what it is today. I made peace with all my horrors and view my life/world from a beautiful point of view. One day I hope to accomplish something bigger than myself, this will be my biggest dream come true. Life can be a beautiful, heaven on 🌎, all depends on how you look at it, with your ❤️ and mind. May each one of you enjoy your journey. Thank you TED for continued inspiration.

[@violator2695]

All the best on your journey

[@SM-rz9du]

God bless you!

[@sangellaferro]

My life changed dramatically when I was hired to work for Hospice ... back when it was truly hospice & not just a service provided for an unknown patient ... refered one day before death. After 3 years of providing old school hospice care, I couldn't revert back to standardized managed care protocols & be part of the healthcare delivery system in place today. I've helped in a private capacity, and often teach by doing ... it's right livelihood for me. I wish the world ran on the hospice system. I'm grateful to have worked during the "Camelot Days" ... and apply the philosophy whenever & wherever possible. Quality care of human beings should be a priority, but money always trumps.

[@mullerierabe-taljaard4867]

Oksana Camaret You have already contributed ....the “you” you are today are more than enough to enrich this planet we all share, by your experience of our humanity. Thank you.

[@jon7708]

Your story gives hope to those whom life is filled with suffering, and your journey led you to where you are today!!! I’m amazed by people circumstances and how you persevered through that, bless your heart!!!

[@momofschnauzers]

Poignant, eloquent, from-the-heart delivery. His message is one that we ALL need to hear and keep in our hearts as we journey through life to the inevitable time of saying goodbye.

[@lurettagarner9670]

AMEN B!!!!!

[@siyaa3354]

Is it just me who loves his pause and intonation? Overall his voice and expression?

[@vaibhavpindikura3841]

No.

[@rachelsimbhu4383]

Nope !

[@BJMillerMD]

Thanks Siyaa

[@Miriam-fk9wr]

No 🌷

[@heidevanness2788]

No, but also his expressions and handsomeness.

[@arunadissanayake3687]

The best speech I have ever seen. You are such a great human sir . I respect you so much. God bless you always. May the sun rise for you where ever you go.

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you Aruna

[@arunadissanayake3687]

@@BJMillerMD You are welcome doc, hope I can meet you one day, I live in Yonkers NY, if you have any upcoming programs I would love to be a part of them, I am a therapist and Palliative care is my passion.

[@SaffyKaffy]

I come back to this video, each time I feel sad/depressed/hopeless.... it reminds me to LIVE again.

[@BJMillerMD]

I'm glad to read this is helpful, Mona

[@halcyon_echo42]

This is an amazing offering to take the time to truly value and appreciate the life we live, the world we share, and the abilities we have to experience wonder. I am in awe of this man

[@pedroayllon4293]

I do the same after having my heartbroken after a 7 year relationship. When I feel down and lose hope I watch,too.

[@motiverendesitater6882]

What really matters at the end of life ? nothing matters......we are just a FLUKE......like worms..many humans take birth and then die........ the big bang was a fluke...the first amoeba was a fluke....everything is a fluke !!! jus dont live a SERIOUS LIFE..or a CARELESS LIFE...just a live a life of acceptance and make sure , you do smart CHOICES IN LIFE...life is nothing but CHOICES !!! cheers !!

[@p-lit189]

Mona H. I hope you don't mind my advice. Whenever you feel sad or depressed, you must keep yourself busy. Just do any healthy habits or activity that can occupies your mind and make you physically tired in the end of the day. (Sorry for my english 😅✌️) I hope it would help u.

[@briantimbal8711]

The sincerity in his eyes says a lot

[@swish6754]

I could listen to Mr. Miller all day long. He's so eloquent, kind, well-spoken and a beautiful soul overall.

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you Patricia

[@guigondi7671]

I feel like i lack something, perhaps life experience or introspection, to truly comprehend the weight of the words of this man.

[@giurgindemilan]

hold the thought. Carefree or not having major problems aside of work-money-survival-sports etc isn't all that bad for many. Maybe from your comment you wish to understand more.... start giving back, say 10% of your time in volunteering? If that is empathy lacking that is another route to dig, yet empathy comes from common experiences and young age generallt gifts you of a smaller amount of them to relate to.

[@hugoboss9387]

You lack nothing but his experience will be quite his own expression of the grief and joy he was dealt. Your experience will be differnet and the same. Hope that explains something to you.

[@jda1627]

this guy lost 2.5 limbs, works in hospice, and is probably much older than you, so don't worry about it just do what you can do to get more immersed in life every chance you get

[@patriciarussell5463]

So maybe you should consider yourself one of the Lucky Ones, but then again...

[@e-spy]

This and all the wonderful comments tell me that we can treat each other more kindly than it appears we do at present.

[@mellowe7401]

Beautiful. If only more physicians could be as empathetic as this man. Yes his eyes speak volumes. Ones of grief, pain, compassion and care. Thank you for this wonderful talk. Giving hope onto a subject that can seem so hopeless 💜💜.

[@CuongNguyen-xw8qu]

In 2016, I won the Cancer, this videos talks about what I had learnt after 4 months faced against that desease : " Life is hard, but it's simply the most wonderful thing we have, let's love it " :D

[@MrAkosFintor]

This Ted talk sounded and felt like a poem. A beautiful one!

[@BJMillerMD]

Thank you Janos!

[@carliejung8408]

YEAH!!!

[@Miriam-fk9wr]

Most definitely.

[@tenbroeck1958]

Well put!

[@moraleslauralucia]

This man is so well spoken.

[@pedroayllon4293]

I had my heart broken and almost did the unimaginable. Listening to your talk made me realize just how beautiful life could still be after a relationship of 7 years has ended. Thank you so much

[@payday3425]

It will always be okay, remember there is always a positive ending, always. I know. Create your book and make a amazing ending for people to hear, you will find all the good come to your heart :). - Tiaggo

[@merrybluegirl8930]

I'm so sorry you've had that happen to you. It takes some time when our world is flipped upside down to find our footing again and even longer before we can feel happiness again. But from experience, I tell you, although it may not seem like it now, life always has something better in store for us. Live for that day. Just wade through the weeds until that happens. Know that you are NOT ALONE. I'm so happy this message helped you tremendously. Sending out love to you in the universe. May peace and a newfound desire to find out what's around the corner meet you right where you are.🌻

[@lrhcconrad2230]

I'm in the same boat . It feels like it's sinking . Almost 30 years invested and now everything is gone . I can't seem to shake it . I will though ,someday . Honestly life is horrible ,today and yesterday . I'm surviving for tomorrow Eternally through my Lord Jesus Christ .

[@a.h.991]

I am with you on this. Stay strong.

[@mattgoodmangoodmanlawnmowi2454]

Pedro I was in my mid 40s. 3 divorces. Two once good relationships ended badly. Ready to do the unthinkable. A voice inside told me to wait, my life would change in ways that I could not imagine. That same voice had once saved my life. So I tried. Mostly out of curiosity. Decided if I couldn’t have what I wanted I would rather be alone. Three months later, over thirty years ago, I met the true love of my life & we have a great son. I had to change my attitude and only then was I ready for what came next. Be patient & be accepting that you might not find what you want. Then perhaps the conditions will be right for a new as yet unknown phase in your life. It was for me.

[@purplepatch7]

It's as if the incident when he was in college forced him to see life as it really is and even with the undoubtedly amount of suffering he has endured, he is at peace. It's spectacular.

[@flufygogogo]

His eyes sparkles and radiates a light of wisdom and grace, calm and empathetic. What an example of what humans can achieve

[@DallasTexas8888]

It is probably his contact lenses

[@krissecor2031]

“Turning anguish into a flower...” beautiful words from a beautiful man.

[@BJMillerMD]

thanks kris

[@uma20012]

something about his eyes..had its own expression and story.

[@morpheus909]

I know right

[@kayfischbach5510]

no, thats just a tear layer, thats normal, some people have more in the eye off it, thats what let him look so sad, but that hasnt to do anything with his emotion or story PS: my english sucs

[@mynintendobroke]

+Kay Fischbach Having tears in your eyes makes you look sad? Nah, I don't buy it.

[@lazyidealist]

Take Keanu Reaves for example.

[@evanprest6224]

get a room

[@AlexUSAIndiana]

I remember when I came home from 1 month in ICU and 1 month in hospital (after my medically induced coma), I came home and I cried when I turned on my faucet with water in my bathroom. It was a miracle to me! I was standing near my sink, with both hands holding my upper weight above the sink and the water just running down the drain so effortlessly and I was sobbing watching how fast that water was coming and going..... Right now I work at the hospital as a PCA (while in school to advance my career in healthcare), yesterday one of my patient told me a Goodbye. He was almost fully sedated and just this past Sunday he was thanking me for taking very good care of him and I even met his lovely family and he introduced me to his family members. I was standing next to his PCU bed and held his hand while he looked at me with one eye open as he stroke my hand with his large tumb... I did not want to let go of his hand.... I went to our hospital's elevators, went up to my unit floor, went into the bathroom and sobbed quietly.

[@colleenhall3763]

This man challenges me on so many levels. I find myself watching this every few months, to ground me, my fears and anxieties. So thankful for him.

[@jagmeetsingh01]

Wishing you strength and peace, Colleen Hall :)

[@elshog]

I just started watching this video and I could see from his eyes that this means so much to him which makes everything he says very sincere!

[@BJMillerMD]

thanks!

[@evanprice5470]

This has to be the most beautifully written ted talk I've ever watched

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you Evan!

[@evanprice5470]

@@BJMillerMD No, thank you!

[@lionel.messi10]

@@BJMillerMD thankyou ❤️

[@Olhamo]

yes, I agree. It is diamantine, in the warmest way

[@carloskleiber8500]

Sanctimonious sermon

[@buddahflower2424]

i had to watch this for my medical humanities course in college. I was dreading watching a 20-min video at midnight because I was tired but we had to have it watched by tomorrow. Let me just tell you, one of the best videos I've ever viewed. Period. The eloquence and poise of this man...wow. Many of the figures we have learned of are just outstanding role models and Dr. Miller is one of them. I certainly don't regret spending a mere 20 minutes to watch this educational and beautiful video.

[@erickoontz6835]

What a strikingly beautiful man he is! And yes, I agree with those of you who've said his eyes are telling as much or more than his words.

[@DaxxTerryGreen]

Friends, I have literally watched thousands of TED talks. I've even been to TEDx Asheville (NC). I was so moved. This however is one of the very best TED talks I've ever seen. Thanks BJ. Look forward to meeting you one day.

[@nkinyori]

I AGREE!

[@harbanskaur5338]

Daxx Green Lucky you !! Even I wanna meet him up

[@morne8510]

I also agree

[@DiSe7819]

May I know which other Ted talks you recommend?

[@blissessentials524]

I love Ted talks..its so interesting makes you think beyond thinking lol

[@cmholt2007]

The sadness pouring out of this man is almost inconceivable. I hope nothing but the best for him and others like him.

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you!

[@julianterris]

This was very moving. I've been *extremely* lucky. It only take *one* unguarded moment. I've learned through the experience of my mother's illness, just how inadequately we are providing for the aged. It is a sobering window. I ask myself "could I trade places?" I can only imagine what the journey of death is like for the young, but we must do more to genuinely help these people. We should be building hospitals that can be *lived* and died in. There's only one certainty in life, how foolish we are to deny it. Dr Peter Fenwick's "What Happens When You Die" has been *SO* helpful. Peace and love to you, and thank you so much for a beautiful, and moving insight.

[@julieeddy2051]

He deserved the standing ovation he received, at the end of his talk. His message was very profound. Enjoy every minute of the time you have on this earth, be not afraid of death, learn to transcend it.

[@BJMillerMD]

Thank you Julie!

[@leonardwhitehead900]

We are all very much blessed by the Creator.

[@gnrncrue]

Im very grateful for his talk, but his eyes reflect so much pain behind his matter-of-fact way of sharing these important thoughts.

[@christinahenry8613]

I see his wisdom and understanding within those eyes...

[@emwali2154]

Truly, if ever I saw a sad pair of eyes which bore sadness out of compassion...... My goodness

[@miggrodriguez9996]

Oh Wow! So now there's bunch of expert psychologists here eh? Comments should've been disabled.

[@philc4520]

Pretty damn inspirational-the guy is the real deal. Nice to see integrity and a compassionate outlook expressed by a member of the medical profession.

[@aminawilliams8886]

Phil C agreed!

[@BJMillerMD]

Thank you Phil

[@VKA00376]

It is people like you whom inspire me deeply consider my professional goals. As much as I have enjoyed critical care as an RN, I work very closely with palliative because so many just do not want that level of invasive care, the bleeping monitors, the inability to sleep, etc... It seems like a difficult path to walk, but it also appears rewarding to provide a patient with the highest quality of their limited time left on this Earth.

[@arottie4097]

While this mans words were comforting & filled with hope of a better way for life to end. I can not help but sence a huge sadness coming from him! I don't think his talk was meant to elicit sadness. However it was hard for me to watch because of the crushing sadness I sensed. Nonetheless, this was a beautifully talk. Given by a beautiful & humble human being! Thank you for sharing.

[@WOWiamTHENOW]

@ A Rottie, agreed I also sensed a lot of sadness radiating for this man.

[@TxNursePatti]

I agree. But, it feels like it comes from a place of knowing - he has seen and experienced so much. But, unfortunately as a physician, he also understands the paradigm that is our current Western healthcare system... The kind of change that is needed will probably not happen any time soon. And it breaks his heart. It breaks all of our hearts.

[@arottie4097]

@@TxNursePatti I agree, the sadness certainly does feel as though it comes from a knowing. I also sense an acceptance in his words. He certainly seems to be @ peace with his understanding. I guess I would call it a surrendered sadness. Something I don't often come across. However, i'm guessing something not so uncommon when working in the healthcare system?

[@raybassman7536]

See in the Holy Bible romans chapter 10 verses 9,10, and 13 this is the good news he did not mention on stage,

[@annh227]

I sensed reverance and complicity for and with death...and life. Good talk.

[@HereForToday42]

wow. such a deep and caring soul. you can tell he has felt his own and other's suffering. the Zen Hospice is lucky to have him

[@BJMillerMD]

thank you Lisa

[@johnnylo2000]

This is the most inspiring, sensational and poetic TED I have watched. There is so much passion in the zen of your speech that calm and move me. All the problems, lost and sufferings I am having over the last few years suddenly seems small. I have a feeling that I will find a different perspective. Thank you for giving the world this TED.

[@katfisch7119]

This man is not “holding back a river” or “lonely inside” as many people are quick to assume. He has accepted his life’s trajectory and is living his life more fully and deeply than most of us ever will, not shying away from any aspects of what it means to be human. To those who want to attribute only suffering and sorrow to him, I say that this is more a reflection of your discomfort with him rather than any discomfort he has with himself

[@RahulKuntala]

I couldn't be able to listen to the whole video. I was just awestruck and could feel the agony in his eyes. Such a powerful narrator.

[@jnorfleet3292]

My mother is in Assisted Living with Parkinson's and dementia. I just watched my dad die a slow death from a stroke that left him paralyzed from the neck down, and now watching my mom take a different path on that same Mountain. I am the only family member taking care of her, from doctors to Banks. On my way home, the voice in my head kept asking why - then this video pops up at the top of my recommended list. Talk about a paradigm shift. Just, wow.

[@pinkice1253]

a First prize testimony of hope and over comeing life's obstAcles of. Chaos pain and. Waves thrown at us. Thanku Jesus for this being. Of miracles

[@pammead1568]

Oh how He Loves you!

[@darkerhippo5852]

I can relate. That's life.

[@BJMillerMD]

i'm glad this was helpful. 3 years later, i hope you are doing well

[@shelwill3703]

He is the way he is because he is one of the very few who truly understands what “life” is and what it’s not

[@honeycubey3120]

He's so in tune with himself. A really beautiful talk. I can feel the purity of his soul.♥️

[@Juxtapose76]

Thanks for sharing.💖💯

[@skyzthalimit09]

As a childhood patient now an adult caregiver and advocate. This is such a meaningful message with questions about living well while living with illness.

[@jherico500]

carpe diem, it's not the destination, but the journey. that's what i am taking from this man. the eyes are the window to the soul, and this guys soul is right with the lord.

[@aminawilliams8886]

Jacob Hill well said! He is a beautiful.

[@hugoboss9387]

Amen

[@mindchecker6293]

@@hugoboss9387 ...ameen

[@mindchecker6293]

help me....Farhana haque sumi

[@malariadetectionandprevent9941]

Life is a journey not a destination. CARPE DIEM!

[@davegoodridge8352]

Wonderful talk. I'm just a simple man. I visit my Father at the nursing home, where he is spending his final days. I also volunteer, when I can, at a local animal shelter. I see such longing and loneliness at both places. If I could, somehow, I know that both of those places could meet each other's needs. Just wondering out loud. Thanks

[@cormano64]

+David Goodridge "If I could, somehow, I know that both of those places could meet each other's needs" That actually sounds like an idea... there's certainly some logistics to consider, but it never really crossed my mind before this. Good one.

[@nexisnorthwest6069]

Hello, just a thought. my wife is a life inrichment director at a large senior retirement facility, independent and assisted. She has set up a local pet therapy group and has seen a very posative response. Best of luck to you in moving forward with your ideas.

[@cormano64]

oNEXISo Northwest Got any links online for that? Because this is a word worth spreading.

[@davegoodridge8352]

+cormano64 no it's just an idea, or a wish

[@waa2a0]

+David Goodridge youre a genius

[@markiewicz77]

People like you restore my faith in humanity. It was eye opening experience to listen to you. The most beautiful and true TED I’ve seen. Wish I could have a fraction of your compassion and wisdom.