What Happens As We Die? | Kathryn Mannix | TED

Have we lost the practical wisdom of what happens as people die? With lessons from a career witnessing thousands of people's final breaths, palliative care expert Kathryn Mannix urges us to demystify the experience of death, sharing how a better understanding of what actually happens can reduce fear in the final days, for you and your loved ones.
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[@frostywelder1220]

I witnessed my mother’s final days after she was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer that had spread thru out her body. I honored her wish to not go to a nursing home. My wife and I moved her into ours. One week after we did that she died in our downstairs living area. I watched her lose her ability to walk, speak and feed herself. She spent 2 days unconscious and not responding to what went on. It wasn’t pleasant to watch. I knew the inevitable end was coming. My wife and I kept her comfortable as much as possible. The night she passed my wife told me to go to bed and sleep and she would wake me when it was over. At that time she held my mother’s hand and prayed with her till her last breath. I can never repay her for that kind and simple act. She was with my mother till the end. I learned that day what it means for someone to be your rock. Your guide. I love her deeply for that. My mother is at rest now for over two years. She was cared for on her dying bed. I never witnessed her last breaths and I have no regrets over that. People shouldn’t have to die in nursing homes in my opinion.

[@Leto85]

I may not know you, but it feels good to read what an amazing wife you have.

[@anicharlouis394]

I lost my father due to prostate cancer that metastasized all over his body. He was 82 years of age and I miss him terribly. I thank God we, all his daughter and son were present for him and did not put him in a nursing home. He died at home peacefully and I miss my dad.😢. He transitioned on the 14th of Dec 2023.

[@LegitLaughs1]

My question is why didn't YOU comfort your own mother in her final hours? My second question is why you have no guilt or remorse for your complete lack of care or concern for her? What kind of person goes to bed while their parent passes away? Unbelievable.

[@jocelynwilliams2059]

​@@LegitLaughs1perhaps he already feel so tired bro. You know that taking care someone drain a lot of your energy

[@DurgaDas96]

Another interesting feature that I discovered when attending a dying friend. You can actually feel when the soul or life force leaves the body.

[@AlistairPaterson-hn4by]

I’m 95 years old and most of my friends and colleagues are dead but I love life,mother point of which is to enjoy it.

[@tomf429]

My wife Angie took her last few breaths surrounded by her family with me hugging her and saying “I love you” in her ear while listening to her breathing. That last breath was an exhale. Nothing dramatic. Just a regular exhale. Then nothing. Her heart stopped almost immediately. I’ve read about people dying and looking down at their bodies as they move on. I wish I had looked up and blown her a kiss. That was 5 years ago. Married 45 years. I miss her every second of every day.

[@marciamatteini7604]

Tom, As I was reading your comment, I had to tell you I am so blessed to know how much you loved and cherished your wife. I believe your wife heard your, “ I love you “ and went to be with the Lord. And was at peace. Beautiful. God bless you ✝️

[@tr7b410]

You might find this NDE comforting.See NDE of Jose Hernandez-ATHEIST DIES AND IS SHOCKED BY WHO HE SEES IN HEAVEN 3 million views.

[@ajabtanha3934]

Sorry for you.let me share your grief.

[@raneylee9617]

I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤

[@ananyachakraberty6474]

I lost my husband less than a month ago, and my two daughters and I were with him till he breathed his last. We kissed, hugged and talked with him till the very end. It was extremely painful to see him go. We were married for 36 years and knew each other for another 5/6 years prior. A relationship for 42/43 years. We miss him every moment of our days. Folks say that time is the best healer. Do not know!

[@tashihishey34]

"Death is not a medical event, it is a social event." Thank you Kathryn.

[@mythbuster3567]

Some times the treatment is worsen than the disease! Just take care of yourself , there are two kind of natural treatments , water and rests. Only you who controls your journey , not the Doctors, remember that!

[@joerobert-qe9cn]

wow great educational very well said about dyeing and your right its social event

[@sonampalmo3578]

It is a spiritual event.

[@cherylfisher2707]

Well put.

[@raymondzerulla9067]

I didn't know that any of these adjectives that was used to describe this event were mutually exclusive. For those who didn't understand what I just said; why does a social event, a medical event and a spiritual event have to be differ? Nothing in these words definitions says that they can't be the same decribed event.

[@brightstreamify]

Thank you for this, from a 75 year old woman who may be facing a return of cancer. Thank you so much 🙏

[@nightsmanasdf9058]

I hope you be fine brave woman

[@nestorrfortuna1]

I worked in hospice and oncology for years, you are not alone. Ask for anything to anybody... Even me, online. You would be surprised how many people find thier mission to be here for this things. Happy new year! ❤

[@LegitLaughs1]

I wish you the very best in this coming year and the strength to face whatever the future may hold for you. ❤

[@catinthekitchen1]

Peaceful new year and better health for you

[@idee7896]

I send you healing thoughts and prayers. I’m sure you’re doing your own Cancer fighting research, but I learned how science is now recognizing doctor-monitored fasting as an effective fight against cancer. Please take care.

[@chrisjames923]

This description of dying is what I witnessed, slowly, over a week or so by my mother's bedside. The distressing part was watching her carers go through their routine on each visit. Toward the end I had to say "Can't you see she's dying, stop trying to wash her, feed her, interfere with her, please leave her in peace". I hope this TED talk will become mandatory viewing for Carers. Thank you Kathryn.

[@stepheneurosailor1623]

Same story with my dad.

[@ellenignatius6030]

I sat with & cared for my father as he was dying. In last hours before death he was in a coma. He had asked to be placed in his favorite chair before he went into a coma. In last hour he opened his eyes very wide staring in front of of him. His eyes then squinted as if he was looking into a very bright light. He then reached out his arms straight in front of him as if beckoning someone. He then began to move his mouth as if talking, but no verbal noise. After a moment he slowly closed his eyes, lowered his arms & fell into the final peaceful sleep & he died about several hours later. It was beautiful - his family who had gone before him were coming for him & he crossed over into another realm.

[@mitseraffej5812]

My father succumbed to vascular dementia over a period of 10 years. His identity, personality and consciousness was slowly but surely erased as areas of his brain ceased to work. My father in law succumbed to Parkinson’s Disease, being completely bed ridden for the last 6 months. It was pneumonia ( old people’s friend) that finally took him away. The so called experts at the care centre failed him atrociously and he spent his last few hours thrashing as best he could struggling for breath.

[@danielafiorina1984]

Yes!!! He saw his loved ones!!!

[@nickwaynick6886]

My father died in a very similar way....I was holding his hand.

[@kekplexis]

This is terrifying.

[@danielafiorina1984]

Why do you think so? @@kekplexis

[@annteve]

Feeling near the end of her life my mother asked me to come home to attend her. Her wish was to die at home. My father had passed away at home nearly 20 years earlier (I had moved home to attend my father in his last two years of life as well.) In her final months, I had to shield her from incredible pressure exerted by my siblings to institutionalise her as they felt-against mother’s repeated pleas to pass at home-it “would be better for her”. She pass peacefully in her sleep in her own bed in her own home. We have to respect the wishes of dying-I did. Only one of four siblings has spoken to me since. Such is the cost of caring.

[@jaynemoss3706]

I’m so sorry this has damaged your family relationships, you did a wonderful loving thing by respecting your Mother’s wishes. My husband died in hospital 4 years ago and nearly all our large family were there whispering into his ear and talking and laughing a lot between us and when he died our second son started to clap in celebration of a good life. I did apologise to the nurse for making so much noise and she told me it had been wonderful.

[@galabaga]

Feel confident that you have done the right thing. That you could not have done any better, any different.

[@jmk1962]

Send your siblings a link to this video. It's never too late for them to understand.

[@A.C.Albert930]

People often refuse to talk about mortality but ignore the fact that we are all facing it. Thank you so much for your sharing Kathryn.

[@electricmanist]

That which we term 'death' is merely the death of the body. The spirit (the soul if you prefer) continues on another plane. There are just so many related experiences (NDE's) on 'You Tube which relate the death experience as little more than a transition from one level of consciousness to another. We all (every one of us) transits from one level of consciousness to another, when the body no longer functions. Remember it is merely the body which expires, not the soul !

[@mekiamelon.]

​@@electricmanist I have a question how can we have a soul? Of how does it work?

[@electricmanist]

@@mekiamelon. I think many people confuse the brain with the soul. Well let's put it this way:- the brain governs all bodily functions, such as digestion, breathing, eating, sleeping etc. The list goes on. However the soul is that essential part of the human being which is like "an overseer or recorder of physical events". It is also that part of a human being which makes decisions such as to hurt others or not, love (or hate) sacrifice oneself for the sake of others, all manner of activities which might put others before oneself, etc. Some people refer to the soul as 'one's higher self'. All the memories,--hurts,-- loves,-- sacrifices, experiences etc one takes with us after the death of the physical body all contribute to the development and growth of the individual/soul--- which in other words is the eternal self. The eternal "You" lives/exists' forever. Whereas the human body has only a limited life span.

[@electricmanist]

@@mekiamelon. Are you nothing more than a meaningless collection of cells in a meaningless universe ? Consider this:- Every single atom of matter consists of an ordered pattern of energy, perpetuating/manifesting itself in various forms of cohesive force. This energy manifests itself in an infinite number of forms, each appropriate to its purpose in the universe; ----from a simple amoeba to the structures/manifestations of the universe itself. All that is, can be considered as a form/expression of intelligent energy. Many call this intelligent energy God !

[@jodalry]

After listening to you Katheryn, I just want to give you a big hug and say thank you! I’m currently a quite healthy 65 year old but you just took,away my fear of dying. 🙂

[@Irishmammy281]

Lovely message,,, I'm a healthy 52 year old and think of death too sometimes,,,, sorry don't know why I picked out your comment,,,, it's not death that worries me it's how I'm going to die

[@maranatha_777]

I experienced this quite often as a geriatric nurse. Nobody dares to talk of death with the dying. I did it - and it always was the moment the person could let loose and handle it.

[@Thalamus4]

This describes with 100% accuracy what I experienced when my mother passed. She spent her last year in "elderly home", gradually getting weaker. Visited her on a semi regular basis. The night after new years, I was met by a nurse, when I arrived. She said, your mother will most probably die during the night. Called my sister, and we stayed with her until the last breath. She was very aware that we where there, but, kept falling in and out. Now I know, she wasn't in pain, so, thank you for explaining.

[@mylesreza9496]

My 76 yo Australian lady friend (no kids, no partner) just passed away this Wednesday January 3, 2024. Colon cancer, 12months on Chemo. One month in Hospital as a palliative stage. She loves Christmas so I visited her on Christmas day and boxing day, tuesday after New year 2024. Wednesday afternoon is gone. Before she passed away I've got all the GOODBYE connection. I connected the energy to her friends who didn't know she is in hospital. 20 years as friend.😢 ❤❤❤

[@DeepakTiwari-wx5ee]

Thank you for sharing this. You are making her memory live. You are her true friend. Best wishes!

[@carolynmarymorgan]

Thank you for that , i knew my dad was dying ,i fed him his last food ,just a sip of milk was all he wanted i held his hand and told him i loved him , he worried about my mum so much and i told him we would always look after her ,he squeezed my hand . He knew what i was saying though he could not talk very well . Two day's later he passed .Now my mum is terminally ill and i will do all i can to help and protect her .

[@Dienekes678]

May God bless and guide you.❤

[@fkmyoutube]

Is it just me, or do I find her voice captivating and beautiful?

[@erexford]

More women should speak in that utterly beautiful way.

[@Marek-jf9hc]

me too!

[@danielgreenwell4987]

I did until she mispronounced medicine. It’s medIcine not medcine.

[@1sherba]

She has a soothing, beautiful voice ❤.

[@Ribberflavenous]

We have lost touch with this last phase of our lives, and the unknown is always a source of fear. This was very well done and should be provided to those who are dying for everyone's comfort. It is a completely natural and inevitable event that we all need to understand so it can be as peaceful as possible.

[@atulkapur9829]

Very well said 😊

[@kristijanakristijanic]

I need translate to croatian, please!

[@SimonHuggins]

Beautiful. My wife worked in an elderly people’s home some years ago, and at that time they still laid people out respectfully, combed their hair etc. Death was part of the community, and it was treated as respectfully as living, and was part of the process of living. Not hidden. Not exactly celebrated. But treated respectfully. They had a rook they called Damian who without fail would land on the roof of the unit where the next person was going to go. This is part of nature, and we so need to integrate it into our lives again in this kind of respectful way. Thank you for your talk - a beautiful reminder, with simple facts that should really be taught early on in our lives - making it easier for those whose loved ones are passing on too.

[@chrish3505]

I stayed with my dad for hes last 4 days 7 months ago.. i was cuddling him and watched him take hes last breath. Will stay with me forever. Blessed i got to be there with my dad. Love him and miss him so much 💞

[@ashsara9233]

I had the same with my aunt (she raised me). It terrified me at the time but I knew she was teaching me something also. A more intimate experience you cannot go through with someone and for that I’m forever indebted to her. Death no longer scares me. I find myself educating others on the beauty of it now. ❤

[@laurensvibe8464]

I witnessed my dad take his last breath 4 months ago. It forever changed me but not sure how. I feel his spirit from time to time. I no longer take this life so seriously. This thing called life is now awkward but interesting at the same time. I have so many questions. 😢

[@draken5379]

[@missyflutter5562]

I held my grandfathers hand as he passed, its very surreal. Sending you good vibes.

[@abdulhamidkhan9924]

It is right everything is possible when a human bron and died in the hand of Allah who is creater all the human after the died in his hand .we should fallow in his rules and regulations,now we are not fallow, we should believe him who is creating all the human may Allah give us going to right way amen

[@cloudhigh6582]

​@@abdulhamidkhan9924 Nah Zeus is better.

[@kumarlaxman400]

​​@@abdulhamidkhan9924Real God is Krishna. Not this Arabic Allah. Time for you to follow Krishna's instructions. Got it?

[@vitamcrae5115]

Beautifully spoken, with such grace and compassion. My mother passed 6 months ago and what you described is what we were told she would go through. I found it fascinating but at the same time i didnt feel scared or frightened as i thought i would, rather, i was calm watching her go through the transitions...mum was not in any pain and very relaxed. This put my brother and I at ease as she had had a difficult life. Im not the same person since witnessing this...

[@johnbee7729]

What a brilliant and heart warming talk. I would hope that all who watch this will share it with their friends and loved ones. And if you cannot share the video, then share the message.

[@tannhauser5399]

In this case I can recommend book by Peter Fenwick or his youtube interview - "What Really Happens When You Die (Studies of End-of-Life-Phenomena)". He has done a quite good research regarding "end of life", and collected a lot of data from medical professionals, at various hospitals and hospices.

[@walkerlone]

Just make sure you live before you die.

[@Dienekes678]

Just make sure you live well* before you die 😉 People should not be worried about death. It's the judgement that is received instantly upon death that should worry people!

[@RevEricEvans]

Thank you for sharing this. I totally agree. In the last few days my dad's life, he went through some things that were difficult to watch. I happen to come across a video from a hospice nurse who explained some of the things that I was seeing, and it helped me so much. She help me understand that what he was going through was not something that he needed to be rescued from but that was a very natural part of his dying.

[@HISTORIUOM]

Please share the video

[@rebecca4958]

Having held my fathers hand as he passed away, this is exactly how it happened and was so beautifully peaceful, it felt so pure and tranquil and so thank you for trying to explain a persons last terminal breath with such compassion, respect and understanding xx

[@LimeGrapeTime]

Wow. Just... Wow. My grandmother died last month and had a terrible two weeks before being put into hospice care. The things she was going through at the hospital scared me. But on her last day. I was the first one to get to the hospital and she was awake and alert. Sadly, she complained a lot about being in a lot of pain. The staff started giving her the pain meds and then it started. Everything she described started two weeks before she passed. But that breathing pattern... Exactly how she described it. I haven't even cried about it yet. I've been avoiding that dark hole. But this almost got me there before I was able to catch it. Great vid. I wish someone was able to really talk to her about what was coming. I'm glad she isn't suffering anymore. I'll miss her cute gummy smile.

[@DeepakTiwari-wx5ee]

Thank you for sharing this. It is very personal. It tells that you loved your grandmother very much. Best wishes!

[@kanjacat]

I was hours away from death, a decade ago. A terrible misdiagnosis led me there. I had accepted that I was going to die. But a very smart surgeon (even though he said later that the life-saving surgery was touch-and-go), saved my life. I will always be grateful. The thing that I find difficult now, is letting go of that feeling of being near death. It's as if I have one foot in life, and one in death.

[@DeepakTiwari-wx5ee]

Thank you for sharing your experience. Most of us will never have this first hand near death experience before the real thing happens.

[@danielafiorina1984]

I suppose that death is a very big issue for those we leave behind. However, notice that those who leave and sent back all describe this wonderful place which will get different names according to your beliefs. I believe that, when I pass away, I will go back home. Yet, it distresses me to think of my beloved daughter's pain and sorrow

[@Yogayin]

That is so fascinating, thank you for sharing. Would you elaborate more on what it feels like for you? only of course if you're comfortable

[@cathiemccainperry4271]

@@Yogayin I would d be interested in that response, as well.

[@TomaGonzalez]

I grew up in country Georgia where people died in their homes and afterwards the diseases is at your home for 7 days as a funeral takes place. I just lost my close friend neighbor who was 92 and her daughter in law described to me exactly what you just said happened as she passed away. She slipped away in a night after being bedridden for a month and sleeping for most is that time and not eating much. People in America do not talk about dying if mentioned, it’s followed by “God forbid”. But God allows it just like birth so we need to know the signs. Thanks for this wonderful video!!!

[@ruthjocaccivajjio274]

I had a dr in the ER get very upset with me when he learned I have a DNR. He told me I was too young for dying (I’m in my late fifties). My response was if he couldn’t respect my legal document that I signed, then I needed a new different doctor. I told him we all are going to die at some point and death knows no age. He shut up and respected the documentation.

[@dadycreations100]

When my father died I was there. It wasn't planned that day I shouldn't have been there but it happens and the very moment I walked till the couch where he was agonizing and I took his hand, he died. I immediately knew he was dead, I didn't expect the most impressive thing I was there to witness was that just after his last breath I somehow saw something immaterial leaving his body that was lively until few seconds ago and now was left there like an inanimate full sac. That's how I knew he was gone. All the writing I've been reading about the "breath of life" came to my mind as I recognized it in my father's death. (I still love you dad ❤)

[@karenlanders2743]

I thought your words were beautiful, my mom was in deep sleep and wanted to go that way ,which she did on third day of I guess unconscious, it’s the way she wanted to leave. It’s still like yesterday all of it happened, falling again and not having strength to rehabilitation. 95 years old, I sure miss her,

[@dadycreations100]

Thank you, you've been respectful letting go your mother the way she wanted to go. I sure I miss my father too but you know, that's life that includes dying one day ..@@karenlanders2743

[@deeliciousplum]

As the primary caregiver of a late in the winter of their years parent, this Kathryn talk touched all of me. We've been through numerous hospital stays where my parent experienced close brushes with death. As well as, we've watched as nearby elderly patients experience, what appears to be, being abandoned by family. Being left to suffer in unfamiliar hospital rooms where shortages of hospital staff is the norm. At the very least, I wish for my parent to expel their last of life's breaths without the burden of pain nor discomfort. Yet, I am not in control of those things. Wishing lots of love and more to all who are experiencing the last of life's stages of a loved family member and/or of a friend. 🌺

[@zhchen5083]

I’m so grateful this video came up when I opened KZbin app just now. Recently my health declined as part of the aging process (not really old, in my fifties). I started to think about the end of life sometimes, just like when people go down from the top of a mountain they see the valley. To die naturally is my will. But I have fear when thinking about the dying process. What I learned from this speech is so comforting. It significantly reduced my fear. I’ll find an opportunity to share it with my family and friends.

[@AlisVolatPropiis]

So happy to see that learning about the process has brought you comfort. The fear of the unknown is likely worse than whatever it is we fear. Do hope your health improves, take care❤

[@tomster70]

There are signs of death we all should be aware of and the last breath is not always as peaceful as you describe. Ones last exhale can sometimes be quite noticeable and unsettling to those nearby. Many hospice units have a small informative pamphlet on the signs and signals of impending death. The cues the human body shares that it is shutting down are nothing short of amazing. It is a systematic shutdown that nurses are very keen on. Exceptional nurses(angels in my book) see these signs further out then others. You may not see all of the cues but you will see enough to know where your loved one is along their path. I do agree we should know more and take back what we have given away to the healthcare system.

[@sorrywrongplanet8873]

I don’t know about that. The hospice workers told us from day 2 that my mom only had a few days left. They did that for 35 days.

[@AlisVolatPropiis]

I have the opposite experience, the first hospice nurse said weeks, the next day another one said days and my mom took her last breath late afternoon. It shocked us so😢 we were all by her bedside and when I saw her exhale I kept waiting for the next inhale and when it didn’t happen I begged her to take another breath, it still haunts me…..it’s been a little over 3 months

[@beatrice349]

Thank you🙏🏻. I lost my father just a year ago and due to the pandemic restrictions couldn’t make it to his bedside the moment he passed. He looked very serene and as if he had a warm smile. We really need to hear this to understand life and our humanity.

[@missyflutter5562]

This resonates so much with my life experiences. I held my grandfathers hand while he passed I think it was more cathartic than the loved ones whom died in hospital and I wasn’t there. I found those deaths harder to mourn. I’ve had my own existential crisis with contracting a rare cancer and I’ve spent lots of time in hospitals. My conclusion and my wishes will be to be home and around family when that time comes not for my sake but also for theirs. 🙏🏼 thank you for an incredible Ted on such an untouched subject!

[@nightsmanasdf9058]

I hope you overcome this disease quickly. As for death, it is the fate of all of us, no matter how long we live.

[@marcvolpe8252]

MISSY YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL ADORABLE CAPTIVATING RAVISHING AND PASSIONATE FOR ANYTHING TERRIBLE TO HAPPEN TO YOU YOUR BEAUTY IS PHENOMENAL I WILL PRAY FOR YOU ❤

[@kirchunetwork1986]

I held my father when he died of Brain hemorrhage and I saw him take the last breath which resulted in him spitting on my face. The whole process went unrecognized and none including my father knew what was happening. That day I saw him holding his head and sitting on chair around 11 AM. I asked him what’s happening to him and he responded he is having unbearable headache and dressed up and stepped out. Little did we knew that he actually visited a medical shop and got himself a over the counter medication for splitting headache. We found this in my father’s pocket along with the receipt after he died. In the night he had his regular dinner and saw the TV news and was very upset at some politicians remarks and went to bed . Just after 1 hour we heard a sound which sounded as if he was chocking and rushed towards him. He was having convulsions and continued for almost 90 seconds and when it stopped that’s when he had his last breath and he was gone for ever.

[@RIXRADvidz]

Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer has me educating myself on the dying process. How long after diagnosis? What happens as things start to shut down, how long does it take for things to shut down completely, I'm in palliative care, the breathing thing is very informative and helpful, with my apnea mask, the thing will ding when I don't breathe. Bye. ! LOL I'm not afraid of Death, we've been very close over the years, he stops by and we laugh about olde times and then he gets a call and has to leave, maybe the next time he'll take me. Seriously, when you're dead, there's nothing to do, no obligations, just one deadline, YOURS. LOL We all get to die, eventually, some sooner than others, like me ! Enjoy your life but live it well so you can enjoy it, don't pollute your body with fast food and contaminant intoxicants, Eat your veg, smoke some dope and be happy, not sad. about death.

[@margaretcook-ellis4941]

God bless and Godspeed - you have a wonderful energy you will take with you to the other side 💓

[@realabbsy]

Sending you love and peace x

[@RIXRADvidz]

@@realabbsy 💖

[@pietpompiepompiepiet940]

​@@RIXRADvidzhi read your message. Hope you are doing ok.

[@christyfoster6862]

We are all going to die -you are correct. Good that you are educating yourself. I just lost my mom and as hard as it was I’m glad she is no longer suffering

[@ajabtanha3934]

Two years back my father and this year my mother died in my lap .I still remember their helplessness and the way they breathed last.Thank you for the video but I would say that nothing can be said with certainty of it until it is not experienced ;and they who experience never say of it. Let us try to enjoy our life and serve others before going to face the reality of death.Stay peaceful !

[@Venus29]

It’s not always like that. My mum was in a hospice and her back was arched, her head was contorted backwards, and we couldn’t put her body in a comfortable position. Plus she’d lost that much weight her eyes were open, and couldn’t even be closed after she passed. It was horrific. Yet my dad passed just as Kathryn described. It could be a good death, but after seeing my poor mum, that’s scared me so much, that I’d never want my children to see that.

[@Karla-yi5ld]

My husband was in hospice care. Everything described here was the same pattern but the thing that always horrified me was my husband’s eyes were open too while he was dying. I never understood this. The two days before his eyes were closed and he seemed unconscious.

[@angstaples]

I think that could be muscle weakness in the eyelids, unfortunately. ​@Karla-yi5ld

[@Svemol]

My granny was dying with her eyes open and the thing that I learnt only after her death was that we were supposed to use eye drops to alleviate her suffering. It seems logical, but noone told us.

[@sabrinaswainson7194]

@@Svemol Thanks for sharing that!

[@SeattleGirlMakesGood]

This is a good account of a time most of us fear, and well worth sharing with each other. ❤

[@nopenoway9875]

I have no idea how this video landed in my algorithm. It answered so many of my questions surrounding my dad’s death three years ago, and I am so grateful for this information that I am actually crying tears of joy and relief. 😮‍💨 sure do miss my exceptionally beautiful dad.

[@sallybalram7701]

I was lucky to have my mother for her 30 last years. At the end I laid beside her in the hospital bed until she took her last breath. Since then I have no fear of death.

[@ThePolymation]

I enjoyed learning these insights about the death of the physical body. “The secret of life is to die before you die - and find that there is no death.” - Eckhart Tolle: The Power Of Now

[@KT-qj9mp]

I lost my husband a few months ago.i concur with everything you've said. I knew he was dying 2 weeks before. Everything you've described happened towards the end. He held my hands to his mouth and kissed them, I reassured him that it was ok and he relaxed. I'm still mourning his loss 💔

[@landedinlukla]

This was so profound. I have not heard such a profound and relevant Talk in years.

[@angeladawn805]

This is simply beautiful. Thank you. How, in a world with so much technology, have we let ourselves become so disconnected?😔

[@arcline11]

Great talk. My late wife and I were together 16 years and in every one of those years she had breast cancer. Deep into those years it went stage 4. After 4 years in stage four, cancer throughout her body, the 5 year survival stats, all that, it was becoming clearer to both of us what was coming. I was desperate to know what the end of like stages were, what to expect, what to pay attention to. I was shocked to find at that time I could find nothing written down about it. I scoured the internet for days and finally found what was basically something like a 20 page little paper back that describe the last 3 months and turned out the little book was very accurate. At the very end when hospice was with us (angels all), one day I asked them how long, expecting them maybe to say 2 weeks, a month... they said 2-3 days, which was shocking. She was lying in bed one afternoon about to take a nap, I kissed her, told her I loved her. That was the last time she was awake and aware of those around her. IDK what state she went into, but it looked what internally verbalizing a dream looks like, like she was really talking to someone, or really working on some important things. She passed over the next night. One thing she told me several times during the last 6 months was, "The one who goes second has the hard job".

[@SailorGerry]

@arcline11 Yes, you nailed it, relating what your wife had told you: "the one who goes second has the hard job". My wife passed three days ago, from stage IV lung cancer, that eventually spread everywhere. Our son and myself would spend 8-12 hours a day, the last two weeks in 'hot emergency' and then palliative care. She was more or less unconscious the last day-and-a-half prior to passing. I was with her the morning she passed. Quiet, frequency of breaths less, then no more. I now just have regrets, only regrets: not holding her hand longer, not telling her more little quirky stories that I had told her many times before; but wanted to hear again - yet told me many times when she was healthy "you told me that story so many times!". All that - and not telling her more often, of how much I loved her. Now, a constant dull ache. Oh how I miss you Alonushka...

[@acdebiase]

One of the most beautiful talks I've seen. Thank you so much.

[@jaynemoss3706]

Having watched three people in my life die and take that last breath I’ve thought each time “well, anyone can do that”, quite comforting

[@lynnedear8830]

The breath out and suddenly no breath in. I saw this as I thanked my father for being such a good dad. The stillness of infinity.

[@sonampalmo3578]

What a wonderful gift of compassion to share this knowledge. Thank you.

[@aldovalkovich755]

Touching and profound reflection. Thank you🙏

[@chillycheeks5318]

A wonderful lady this. Dr Mannix is so caring, highly experienced and a credit to her profession. Just read her book “With the end in mind”. A must for those engaged in palliative care.

[@River_Sparrow]

Thank you. Your talk is truly a gift given to those who will listen.

[@dbunnysport]

Thank you. Beautifully told. And I appreciate knowing this. ❤

[@saadsubhi3767]

As death comes closer everyday, we at least should stop being rude, unjust to others. Why not spending life with forgiveness and consideration!! just sad to see wars in many corners of the world.

[@nestorrfortuna1]

I worked in hospice for years. Helped lots of people to live the best they could... And countless family members to be prepared, cope and live good too. The best time in my life😂

[@the_crescent_moon7]

I was with my dad for a while, as he went through his dying process. There was no doctor or nurse in the room, as if they thought „well, he is dying anyway“. He was in hospital due to liver failure. Two other patients were in the room with him (one of them died half an hour after my dad). His breathing was very fast. I talked to him and told him not to worry about us, to just let go and be with my twin sister, who passed on five years before my dad. At one point my dad opened his eyes and looked at me, while I was talking to him and putting my hand on his chest. It was then that the world became very quiet and I felt peace around us. My dad passed on the next morning at 4am. He looked very peaceful and calm and I knew he was met by my sister and they are with God.

[@sarahbatsford4791]

Brilliant. As a once hospital worker I witness in ICU dying people hooked up to drips & I thought surely when people are going through the death process it must be natural as the body shuts down. If the patient is being drip fed during this process then the dying is difficult.

[@jmk1962]

Sometimes this is done to give the relatives time to understand that their loved one is dying and is not coming back. Perhaps if people spoke about death and dying more and watched videos like this then they would understand more and would not insist that their loved one was forced fed, especially if they are in a coma and their body is shouting down naturally. As long as the patient is not in pain then they should be allowed to go to sleep and pass away gently when they are ready to go. We don't put animals on drips and force feed them when we know they aren't going to get better, why do we do this to humans?

[@theariessetiadi]

Beautiful description. Thank you!

[@racheljones9786]

Had to pull over. Driving down a Mountain in spain listening to you. You are so right!!! THANK YOU!! Much love and respect for all you do and trying to change our perception.... ❤

[@chrishallam2684]

Just over 5 years ago - I was with my mam when she took her last breath. Her journey lasted three weeks, during which we chatted about her life, loves, dreams, and about her daddy. I openly cried, told her of my love for her, thanked her for my life, and for our journey along the way. I felt privileged then and still do today, to experience her EoL journey and that it was just me and mam at her end... Thank you Kathryn.

[@chmun77]

In the learnings of Buddhism, our bodies are nothing much more than an vessel for the spirit to stay in when we are humans and suffering in this mortal world. Passing on is a way of clearing our debts or sins we had during our lives. If one had accumulated bad deeds or sins during his life, he will be reincarnated again as a human and suffer again in a new vessel. Yes, we all feel sad when our loved ones passed on. But actually that's the way of freeing their spirits.

[@nightsmanasdf9058]

Most religions have this story. The soul is an imaginary thing invented by man to overcome the fact that he is a mortal body. A biological machine created by nature and evolution.

[@totalfreedom45]

_I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it._ ― Mark Twain *_Without love and sense of humor there is unhappiness and life is meaningless._* 💕☮🌎🌌

[@botrosbotrosdief1840]

You believed a lie and repeated many times No friends, it is ordained by the Almighty God of the Bible that man is destined to die once then will faced judgment, if he is godly and believed in God and in Christ Jesus the loving Saviour, will not condemn,bur has eternal life if he rejected God and believed this lies you said, will face condemnation for ever, so friend it is not too late believe in the Lord Jesus and you be saved

[@langreeves6419]

​@botrosbotrosdief1840 that is ONE interpretation of the Bible, but fortunately not the only one

[@totalfreedom45]

@@botrosbotrosdief1840 For world peace and to avoid WWIII people must stop believing in these hoaxes-the Hebrew Bible, the New Testament, and the Quran.

[@TheHIOJK]

Beautifully said, thank you

[@user-xw3ru7xr2y]

A stupendous talk, so comforting! Thank you!

[@waynecassels3607]

My wife and I were alone while she passed. I was blessed by God to be alone with her. We didn't say goodbye. We knew it wasn't goodbye. I was blessed that morning. She was ready. She had seen her mother and brother and sister waiting for her in the room. They had passed many years before. I was blessed that morning.

[@cathiemccainperry4271]

I would like to hear more about her experience -- and how you witnessed -- her seeing her mother & siblings. I think I watched my dad having a similar experience about an hour prior to his passing. However, he had lost the ability to speak, so he could not tell me about it.

[@allenculbertson8170]

Over 2 years ago or so my friend Melvin said check out a Ted talk. I'm glad I listened to him. I've been listening ever since amazing talks. Thank you Melvin

[@kimsemple8545]

Thank you. I wish I had heard this before my husband died. I am a nurse of 30+ years, and even I was not fully aware, so focused is our care and training to save people, not support them in dying.

[@Gmarie4612]

Thank you for this! Your gift of clarifying the dying process is much appreciated.

[@privatemattersgmail7259]

YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I too teared up at the doctors gentle spirit telling the truth of transformation, SO NOT MORTAL!! ANGELIC!!! Bless you Sister!

[@onedropontv8863]

Interesting perspective. Thank you for sharing.

[@AvaCherry189]

Well done Kathryn Mannix. I’m a hospice nurse. I explain dying to people as well. When done well, we relieve fear. I tell people that hospice workers rarely fear the act of dying. (Not that we are ready.) Most deaths are peaceful events.

[@WyoTeacherDude]

Thank you. This was a remarkable talk.

[@nicholaspearson4246]

This is a wonderful talk. I was present during the final seven hours of my mother's dying process in in-hospital hospice, where she was only receiving mild sedative. i was so thankful that my mother wasn't subjected to interventions to prolong her dying.

[@ravindertawni]

Many thanks to Ms Kathryn for such a fantastic talk. Such talk connects human beings to their roots/nature.

[@marisamcguire3911]

As a retired RN … I say AMEN & thank you!

[@nickieshadowfaxbrooklyn5192]

Wow! Such a great speaker! Astonishing structure, delivery and depth of observations. Hat off, Kathryn. Truly marvelous a speech!

[@cosmiccreator]

Beautiful.. so touching. Thank you. ❤

[@zenstoryshare]

Facing mortality together opened a vulnerable space where patients could finally release unspoken worries and find a surprising strength in facing the inevitable.

[@shaunmartin506]

Perhaps the best TED Talk I've ever seen.

[@danielkarmy4893]

Wow, a talk that's actually held in England! So many times I've seen English place names and thought, 'ah, at last!' only to find out it's some obscure place in Pennsylvania or somewhere...anyway, I'm looking forward very much to this one. I feel we really do need to relearn what our ancestors knew about the process of dying.

[@flookoco2008]

This is the best TedTalk I have listened to, it makes perfect sense and helps me understand what is happening to my 99 year old mother. Thank you.

[@TheEmpowered787]

Amazing TED talk! Thank you!

[@johnb8854]

*In 1973 the body I was experiencing was pronounced "DEAD On ARRIVAL" at a medical center... More than half an hour passed, then its heart started beating again... During that time I, "LIFE The Real Self", ( NOT The Human entity ) entered "The LIGHT", and have remained in "The LIGHT" to this day...*

[@waiyinliew7031]

so true thank you for enlightening me

[@defcon12]

I love when Tedx is this good

[@TiaanJonker]

Thank You! Calming.

[@billmeloche4918]

Great Info...Thank you

[@andrewmcdonald6987]

Thanks so much for doing this xx

[@oldcrow6990]

Thank you for this!

[@karenpappin4017]

so glad I got too hear this TED talk, I read Kathryn's book, With the End in Mind not long after my mum died and while it undid me in places it also gave me such beautiful insight into not only the dying process but how to carry grief.

[@riverbender9898]

Brilliant and significant presentation. Thank you.

[@normanchristie4524]

Thank you Kathryn. I watched this prior to phoning to make a phone call to arrange a meeting with my wife's surgeon about her chances of recovery.

[@ronsmith2241]

Very helpful. Thank you. I watched my wife die after 51 years of marriage and 36 years of MS. I am so glad I heard comments like yours of what to expect. It has also helped me prepare my own Advanced Health Directive and Statement of Choices. Please don't try too hard medically to prevent or delay my dying process. Its a normal part of life and its OK. Just keep me comfortable and pain free as I go. Its fine.

[@paulstark1832]

I surely felt a 'bomb' go off sometime after nine pm now yesterday while at a soup kitchen assisting out. A piece of music ached my heart. It felt like passing on. But an Angel solar to you came to the rescue with both spiritual and physical food. She picked up that I hadn't eaten for a while. WOW!! Someone heard my cry. I was very blessed to witness a great renewal!!

[@theoptimistic9282]

Thanks doc for this enlightenment 🙏

[@som0s0r]

Thank you for enlighting us 🙂

[@tomausman8645]

That was awesome. Thanks

[@cole9799]

I literally saw my dads last breath in 2017. I will never forget that image. I went to tell everyone and all that could come out of my mouth was "he Stopped, he stopped". miss him dearly

[@postiepaul]

Spot on. Describes my father’s death absolutely. Life starts when we start breathing and ends when we stop.