Bipolar Book Club: Tales from a Storybook Recovery | Kelly Rentzel | TEDxSMUWomen

In a story about stories, Kelly Rentzel, single mom and General Counsel of Texas Capital Bank, recounts how authors Patty Duke, Kay Redfield Jamison, Carrie Fisher, and Julie Hersh fueled her successful recovery from bipolar I disorder. With humor and passion, she reveals how vulnerability can change a life. Kelly Rentzel is General Counsel and Executive Vice President of Texas Capital Bank in Dallas, Texas, where she began working in 2012 after ten years of law practice, first in BigLaw and then at the federal court. She also serves as Vice President of the Southwest Association of Bank Counsel. In her spare time, she plots future karaoke performances, writes poetry that her boyfriend/muse prays will never get published, and goes nowhere fast on her Peloton bike.
Kelly is an honors graduate of the Dedman School of Law, where she served on the SMU Law Review and played catcher for the LawDawgs championship softball team. She received a dual major with honors from Rice University. It was there that she deepened her love of Shakespeare, discovered her talent for the Macarena, and was first diagnosed with bipolar I disorder.
Kelly first spoke publicly about her mental illness in August 2017 at a Dallas Bar Association CLE. She has since authored multiple articles, launched a website (bipolaroz.com), and spoken to audiences from Austin to Omaha about successfully living with bipolar disorder. In recognition for her work, she received a 2018 Dallas Bar Association Presidential Citation and was named a 2018 Corporate Counsel Awards finalist for “Outstanding Community Service” by D CEO Magazine. Her story has also been featured in the ABA Journal and The Texas Lawbook.
Kelly recently completed a manuscript about her experiences, tentatively titled Crazyhorse. The book ends with a tribute to Kelly’s greatest inspiration, her eight-year-old daughter Catie, who still thinks Mom is pretty boring. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@leafyveins4985]

I was finally diagnosed with Bipolar and got on the right medication, mental tools, and lifestyle changes to get better just about a year ago. Im 29. It's never too late to be the person you want to be. My hypomania always told me I was having fun and going things my way, but it was controlling me every step of the way. I finally got off the roller coaster and it felt so bizarre at first. The stability was almost shocking. I'm used to it now and I never want to go back to those horrible lows and terrifying highs. The addictive cycle of Bipolar is what makes us so resistant to taking medication. I was so scared to try meds for it I lied about my hypomania for 15 years. Didn't tell a single soul. Then finally I was just done living that way. I'm so much more satisfied and content with my life now. I still get depressed and hypomanic but it's not so out of control or intense. I'm really grateful for the medical professionals and mental health givers that have helped me along in my journey. Thank you for this video.

[@IBRAHIM-ls8ex]

Aww! I am really happy for you. Wish you all the best.

[@leafyveins4985]

@@IBRAHIM-ls8ex awh thanks so much 😊

[@jims9168]

Today is the day I traditionally celebrate not being locked away in a psych ward. On April 23, 1969, I was taken to a locked ward for a month. Many of the other patients just stayed a few days. A month before, I was on top of the world ready to graduate with honors and become a biology teacher. There were lots of jobs then. My girl and I planned to marry. I had made the college wrestling team and been an officer in two fraternities. My professors said I had a lot of potential. Following my release, my life became a void. My girl left. Since I had a minor accident in a parking lot, my parents would not allow me to drive. I could not work in the garden which I had loved because my meds made me super sensitive to the sun. I tried to go back to college after summer, but I had to drop out again. I just went to my parent’s house and sat in a chair every day. I could not imagine ever being able to teach or to hold down any job. I used to love to read, but I could not concentrate enough to comprehend what I was reading. My close friends all graduated and went on to their careers. My best friend went away to Georgetown Law School. I was all alone. With my meds and my days of just sitting in a chair, I gained 100 pounds. The wrester’s body was gone. I worried about being locked away-in the 60’s they were still sending people like me away for years, decades. I believed my life at 22 was over. I imagine many who have been diagnosed bipolar have felt and thought the same things. So, I want to share how my life turned out in the end. I’m 75 with a bad heart-not sure how long I have left to spread any hope. Psychiatrists had a hard time getting my meds to work for very long. But, after a few years, I stopped drinking and the meds had me stabilized. Gradually, my life began to change. It turned out to be better than most lives. So far, I’ve been married for 51 years. I was able to watch my son grow up and support him in his activities-football, track, basketball, class play. I was at his college graduation and wedding. He became a fine man, a Boy Scout leader and an elder in the church. I was able to support his two sons as they did various activities: football, baseball, and competitive Frisbee. I was there when they both received their Eagle rank. I was in the audience when my grandson got on stage and sang a song by himself for the 6th grade talent show. Over the years I felt useful by doing much volunteer work. I helped with Boy Scouts, built hiking trails, and did taxes for people through AARP’s tax assistance program. I feel good to have set up a teen center in the town where I taught. In 2020, I was given the Marquis Who’s Who Humanitarian award for my contributions to society. My wife and I enjoy traveling. We have been to some neat places like Stonehenge, the Grand Canyon, Devil’s Tower, and the Badlands of South Dakota. We took our grandsons to Disney World twice. Rather than just sitting in a chair every day, I’ve chased my hobbies: reading (read 1000 books in 6 years after my retirement), gardening, jogging (ran marathons), baking cookies, writing, and astronomy. NASA allowed me to use their satellites to take pictures of solar system bodies. I have written this to give people hope; back when I was first diagnosed I wish I could have read something like this. At the time, I was just facing a long miserable life.

[@jims9168]

@@Purplepenpeople Well, I did spend a lot of time stagnating. I learned to pick doable goals and to break everything down into some tasks. I went to libraries and obtained books that told me how to do it. There are many. My cognitive therapy helped greatly. I think the answer is finding a purpose, finding something you really want. Again, there are many books in libraries that explain all this. Today, I just get up and move, no matter how I feel. It feels better once you start. Starting is hardest. Good luck.

[@evgenbal4414]

Thank you for your stories, it's very supportive! ❤

[@bagyalakshmi5973]

That's what they call a life worth living. ❤

[@adamwilliams134]

Thank you

[@mathw2703]

diagnosed with Bipolar 1?

[@shelleyritter8333]

Thank you for sharing. I also have bi- polar disorder 1. I have been through the ringer with this disorder for the past 30 years. My last manic episode landed me in prison, during my 50th birthday. I spent 6 days there, insane, and everyone working there thought I was on drugs! Thankfully my physciratist caught word of this through my sister, and wrote the judge to get my into a hospital. They released me from prison and I stayed in the psych ward for alittle over a week. Now I am facing two assault felonies and misdemeanors for disorderly conduct. My manic episodes have never went this far before. I am better now as I wait for my trial, which is tomorrow. Please pray for me.❤

[@evgenbal4414]

Let your trial resolve in a best way for you!

[@allynfornow]

Thank you sharing. I hope things get better for you.

[@chrisruetten]

I can tell sharing your story is difficult. It sounds like mine. Thank you for standing up and telling us your truth. You are awesome. Endure another night Kelly. We love you.

[@roxannefitts2260]

I live with bi-polar disorder and her story is absolutely amazing. It gives people hope that through a difficult diagnosis that they still can be successful.

[@debblackmore7460]

Great speech keep going Kelly proud of you keep going doing amazing things stay strong stay positive stay safe sending luck hugs love from headway Nottingham UK takecare I have bipolar manic depression I have hypoxia brain injury I died 26minutes spent weeks months in coma rehab hospital learning talk walk again been a recovery massive discovery never ever give up on yourself many will never yourselves keep going doing amazing things stay strong stay positive stay safe everyone takecare xx

[@johnnycomelately8577]

You are one of the bravest ladies. Thank you for your efforts, it will help others so much. Hats off to your Dad

[@MS-ns4ki]

A blessing and a curse , thank you for your courage . I am also in the book club. We are creative people ❤

[@Fyodor48]

Quite an extraordinary talk, such depth, spoken with passion, articulated in a way that no mental health doctor could, ever. *Thank you so very very much*

[@michelebreen1735]

Bipolar warrior! Thank you Kelly for sharing your story♥️

[@fancykitty7245]

I felt the same after my daughter was born in 2009. I took 89 pills and didn't want my daughter to have me as a mother. Thank god I woke up in icu and was hospitalized 14 days twice the first year of her life. Now she is 11 and thank god I am here to watch her grow into a beautiful, and caring young teen. Wonder if the shock treatment would work for me?

[@shelbiherzog]

I’m bringing this up to my psychiatrist, when you described not being able to read you took the words right out of my mind. When I tried to explain the same thing to her she only says ADHD.

[@Fyodor48]

Quite an extraordinary talk, such depth, spoken with passion articulated in a way that any mental health doctor could never. *Thank you so very very much*

[@tzazella751]

strength + intelligence & heart = kelly rentzel

[@lauriejameson4780]

Well done to you.....So happy for your success 💗 And that you are still around as a blessing to your daughter 💕 Thanks 🙏 for sharing...

[@brokenacorngaming2843]

Yesssss! Your description of the psych ward is similar to what I went through. Never asked people their names, I thought they were all other people, either from movies and tv or from my actual life. The religious aspects too. I had that as well, and I am not into catholacism... It was very bizarre, but I did think I was Jesus at one point. Thank you for sharing, glad I'm not the only one!!

[@dennismfoley]

The presenter is very well spoken. Thanks for telling your story.

[@staceydelbucchia2576]

Thank you...that was beautiful...congratulations💕...I am also bipolar y was born with it..I thank God it has been a long journey but I am in peace high up in the mountains near yosemite near familia y a better person now than I was before..i think bipolar can be our gift...God bless you...peace💗🙏🕊

[@edaozyurtkilinc]

you made me cry Kelly! love from Turkey :)

[@88niteowl88]

Thank you for sharing your story!!! To everyone reading this, Jesus loves you. ❤

[@hunnybadger442]

Good for him... because according to the Bible his dad gave me my mental illness...

[@acampomft]

I read from the Bi Polar book club, especially when I need to feel normal and not so utterly alone. Thanks for your story.

[@Luna1917a]

I can relate to needing a night light - I’m 44 but the hallucinations are scary sometimes.

[@emilyw530]

You are loved more then you know and everyone has something to fight for. Yourself.

[@Sharon-sw7mr]

Kelly, you are wonderful. Thank you.

[@a..r.9341]

Great woman, dharing her story in order to encourge us all 🥰

[@Mrskamath-zq7qv]

The pain of bipolar is raw. Its okay to be emotional when discussing this

[@eddykuipers2971]

TVs talking to you, reading into everything, being convinced of grandeur stories. Ah yes so relatable. Loved your overall theme at the end about sharing stories was great. You never know who it will help. I’ve always suspected that ECT is more than ok despite the huge criticism. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏

[@hopecreekranch365]

Thank you from the deepest bottom of my heart. I add your name to my list of those helping me.

[@bubthe1Nonlyseal]

Wow! Kelly thank you so much for sharing your story so honestly. It resonated so much.

[@carletongoss]

Thank you Kelly.

[@vincentewing6843]

Brava! You are very brave. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@handsomeluke7216]

Thank you so much Kelly .

[@samshadbibi7412]

Thank you for being brave.

[@eg8419]

This is a very familiar story. Thank you for coming forward with yours. from Eve G.

[@daytonnielsen5268]

Incredible..I needed to hear your voice today

[@hernandezm7993]

I have a neighbor Hilario that suffers from these symptoms with his wife. Every day he claims out in public outside that he 'steals your victory.' So sad, I wish someone would encourage them to a psychiatrist ward.

[@lizhyink5636]

That was such a moving and meaningful way to share, starting with the clever title. Thank you ❤️

[@Seen_not_heard]

This made so much sense for me. Thank you.

[@0HaninaH0]

Oh god how you are so strong!

[@aravianewton5505]

Right she is very strong.

[@kattyk6370]

Some of the smartest people are bipolar.

[@dianadansas9653]

Thank you 🙏 You are a beautiful star 💫

[@pedrox4835]

Thank you!

[@stock.58]

very inteligent and strong! thank you! the best wishes for you!!

[@leafydragon]

thank you so much, I also thought TVs were talking to me and my experience was built around all the manic traits she mentions. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING BIPOLAR STORIES

[@pinkdust07]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. ❤

[@Zgembo121]

Excelllent video, honest and raw.

[@stock.58]

It gives me goose bumps the talent that this woman radiates!!

[@Swagmittens]

i always feel pathetic when people with much tougher conditions find the will to live

[@LittleBoSleepASMR]

view it as evidence you can too.

[@LieselGadd]

Thank you for sharing your story.

[@Honky4Christ]

So powerful, thank you ❤

[@gabsnegreiros2425]

Yay to dads who take care of their children!!!

[@92359hg]

This reminds me of when I was in AA. Step one: My name is none of your business and I am powerless over my bipolar disorder and my life has become unmanageable! My higher power is the drug companies and my psychiatrist is my sponsor!

[@genesisPiano]

There's a real Higher Power who gave men and women the creativity to create those meds.

[@solmilera]

I'd definitely love to show it to my mum, but unfortunately she doesn't understand English. It would be very helpful if it had subtitles in Spanish.

[@jessglotz]

Magnificent and timely story! Thank you so much for sharing your vulnerability with us.

[@luluca234]

why is it that most bipolar patients write a lot like poetry and so on

[@ScarletFury]

There's actually been numerous studies that show that creative geniuses frequently suffered from mood disorders. There's another TED talk on that on KZbin, although it's a little technical, but it was still really good and mind blowing. It would explain why I, also a sufferer of Bipolar Disorder, am frequently creative with poetry, music composition, art, and writing books. Fascinating stuff. I'm learning so much about myself through this kinda research! ^^

[@leafyveins4985]

Because we feel things very intensely and we also write a lot to release what is called "pressured speech" and also the rapid flight of thoughts and ideas flickering through our brains when we're unmedicated.

[@ismeraldaismerald9020]

We love you 💕

[@geotyr3868]

so much respect.

[@luluca234]

can you list the books you read here again

[@angelabertrand9684]

You are amazing

[@idawairimu7093]

Waaa very helpful.. Thanks for your vulnerability

[@martinking4937]

Thank you. 😎

[@allynfornow]

Incredible

[@AO-ib3qp]

Amazing

[@AshAuset]

Very inspiring ❤️❤️❤️

[@aimeethomson7806]

Lots of mental health community clubs in the early 2000s

[@aimeethomson7806]

...very good

[@lizcuero9065]

Seroquel helped me sleep.❤

[@berthachavira8240]

Jesus Christ continue to heal you

[@amyspears8163]

YESSSSSS

[@drkarenbukharibukhari9931]

❤2ndlife🎉

[@drkarenbukharibukhari9931]

Isawangels🎉

[@drkarenbukharibukhari9931]

🎉ceoaregifted

[@drkarenbukharibukhari9931]

Iwasabandonedbymyfamilymybrothersisterinlawalthough

[@drkarenbukharibukhari9931]

Iwastakembygmpolicelasttime

[@drkarenbukharibukhari9931]

Iwasalsotakentopsychiatriclast

[@LaoshiChristine]

i hope you girl, dont listen to the doctors they dont have a clue

[@toni5543]

If doctors don't then who does?

[@leafyveins4985]

Some doctors are good at their jobs and some are not.

[@LaoshiChristine]

she doesn't have a mental illness. what i find unsettling is she thinks she had a mental problem,

[@LaoshiChristine]

ok she had some weird thoughts, but we all do. shes not crazy she was told by so called doctors

[@sapphirepokemonfan]

Normal people experience bipolar. As someone with bipolar, I felt it was very comforting to finally understand why I couldn’t function like everyone else

[@martinamakesvideos]

She didn't go into detail of her experiences in mania, but I'm sure if you knew the deeper details, you would recognize mania is not just creativity. She explained she literally lost ability to read tenporarily

[@Keepitkind7]

Thank you!