Identity Theft: How I Discovered My Secret Identity | Albert Frantz | TEDxSanFrancisco

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@marycatherinedonnelly6424
@marycatherinedonnelly6424 7 жыл бұрын
Thank you Albert. As an adopted person, it has been almost impossible to explain to non-adoptees (who are the majority of lawmakers that deny us access to our identity) the pain of not knowing where you come from and what it is like to always answer "I don't know" to the most basic questions while you listen to the majority of people around you answer with a feeling I have never had. I don't know anyone who was in the room when I was born. I don't know anything about how I arrived on this planet. All my life people ask questions and I wish I could give them answer: "so where is your family from?" I don't know. Going to the doctor when you have what could be a genetic related illness "Can you tell me about your medical history?" I don't know my history. "What parent do you look like?" I don't know. "Is one of your parents an artist too?" I don't know. "Do both your parents have blue eyes?" I don't know. If you have kids where are you going to tell them they are from?" I am going to have to tell them they are not wrong if they feel a profound sense of emptiness when forced to answer "I don't know." And for all the adoptees who don't feel this way, may you stay blessed in your peace with this but please please do not devalue your adopted sisters and brothers who are not at peace and that the right to know is just as valid as your choice or acceptance not to know your origin. Because choice is power and that is very different from someone you don't know chosing for you.
@coffeetalkwc
@coffeetalkwc 8 жыл бұрын
Adopted at 13 days old, reunited with entire biological family since age 24; lost my adoptive parents both in 2008 when I was 33-34, & my biological father died in 2014; I'm age 41 now, appreciate this TedTalk speech!
@13paulis
@13paulis 2 жыл бұрын
I totally agree, and that's why I did my own DNA test. I donated eggs, but it had to be anonymously, and I didn't want that. I wish the parents tell the truth to my offspring and they find me one day ♥ Also, my son is donor conceived and I happened to find his father with a DNA test, too. He didn't want contact, but I'll totally support my son to look for his father when he grows up, and I've collected as many info as I could about this man to tell my son everything I know when he starts asking. It's his right!
@lindamcdermott2205
@lindamcdermott2205 5 жыл бұрын
This raises awareness of the serious consequences of modern reproductive technology. Excellent talk. Another serious consequence is the destruction of unwanted embryos when there is more than one conception.
@tweety153oz
@tweety153oz 8 жыл бұрын
Surprisingly as this talk went on I began to disagree. I get where he's coming from but my experience was different. I was adopted as a baby and met my biological parents as an adult. Both adoptive and bio parents are abusive and self-serving and to think that any of them define who I am sickens me. I am not who my adoptive parents told me I was (bad, wrong, flawed, etc), and I am not a combination of my bio parents. I made me who I am today, I define who I am. My identity is the one I worked for myself. If it was defined by any of those people who have called themselves my parents I would go and sit in a corner and rock.
@AlbertFrantz
@AlbertFrantz 8 жыл бұрын
+tweety153oz I really appreciate your thoughts and couldn't agree more. My point in my talk is that it's morally wrong to deny a person their biological identity and everything that entails-including parents, siblings, family, health history and ethnicity-even more so when a person is blocked from knowing their own identity by corporations or the state. "Who we are" is a multilayered notion, and nothing could be more subjective than our own sense of self. Of course we need not embrace all aspects of (internal and external) identity or "identify" with all of them, but no one should ever trivialize the importance of *your* sense of *your* identity. Hats off to you for creating a strong identity in the face of the obstacles you faced.
@tweety153oz
@tweety153oz 8 жыл бұрын
+Albert Frantz Yes that's an important distinction you make. I learned things about myself when I met my biological parents that suddenly made sense, little things I wouldn't have thought were genetic, and I learned also about my ancestral roots and health vulnerabilities etc. Nobody should be denied those things. But my personality, that's mine :)
@AlbertFrantz
@AlbertFrantz 8 жыл бұрын
+tweety153oz You were fortunate to have found and met your biological parents. Some of us are denied this opportunity by corporations and governments, and I believe this is what must change worldwide. I think it's crazy that it's only thanks to technology never envisioned when I was born (sequencing DNA and networking billions of people) that I was able to find out clues about my own identity that I was never "supposed" to know. Importantly, none of this is intended to downplay the emotional challenges that the parents who raise adopted or donor-conceived children face-on the contrary, everyone involved needs to recognize the sheer complexity of such nontraditional families and respect everyone involved. Social parents should be encouraged to fully respect and support their children who desire to know their own identities. I think this is a critical aspect of the fertility and adoption industries that is still largely missing. Ultimately I do believe that a person's right to know his or her biological identity far outweighs a parent's (or certainly government's or corporation's) supposed right to hide that identity from a person. This does immeasurable harm, regardless of whether a person ever finds out the truth about their origins.
@tweety153oz
@tweety153oz 8 жыл бұрын
+Albert Frantz Yes I agree. I know many adoptees who have been denied information about their origins by biological parents themselves, or be policy makers, or through fear of hurting adoptive parents. These should all be secondary considerations to an adoptee's right to information they did not give permission to waive in the first place. It's said that adoption is in the best interests of the child and I don't believe that for a second. Same with sperm donation, it's done for the benefit of both sets of parents, let's be honest. That said, I don't believe I am fortunate to have met my bio parents. I didn't look for them, would never have looked, meeting them was at their insistence and has been traumatic, causing more harm in what had already been a traumatic harmful experience. Some of that is not about adoption though, simply about the people involved. I do understand that people who have been denied their rights envy my situation, but each situation is unique.
@AlbertFrantz
@AlbertFrantz 8 жыл бұрын
+tweety153oz I totally empathize and agree.
@pictologist
@pictologist 8 жыл бұрын
what an excellent and touching speech - THANK YOU:-)!
@toddriesland3858
@toddriesland3858 2 жыл бұрын
Interesting I'm adopted with royal elite blood and the blood with all intertribal blood of the chiefs here in america,I know my grandfathers is Cochise and Naiche and don't know who my real parents is
@VanceTwins
@VanceTwins 8 жыл бұрын
Your awesome Albert!...and talented. :)
@AlbertFrantz
@AlbertFrantz 8 жыл бұрын
+Jenette Moon Ja You're so kind... thank you so much! :-)
@joyfait
@joyfait 8 жыл бұрын
Kol Hakavod. All the honor.
@ntfrmhr
@ntfrmhr 6 жыл бұрын
sounds like gattaca
@ben_dasdf
@ben_dasdf 8 жыл бұрын
so what the fuck is wrong with eugenics?
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