Don't neglect your emotions. Express them - constructively! | Artūrs Miksons | TEDxRiga

As we grow through life, we’re taught what’s “ok” and what isn’t, when it comes to demonstrating emotions. We learn to push them away, reject, or suppress what has been deemed socially unacceptable. But when it comes down to it, emotions are neither “good”, nor “bad”. They simply are - in our DNA. And the best approach is to simply be, and experience, and express those emotions in a constructive way - be that to family, children, colleagues, friends, or a stranger on the street. Artūrs Miksons, MD, is a psychotherapist and head doctor of the Riga Stradins University Clinic of Psychosomatic Medicine and Psychotherapy. A well-liked teacher among students, passionate and active promoter of emotional health. In clinical practice, he successfully combines the roles of both child and adult psychotherapist. Helping an adult or child to get to the true nature of themselves, to encourage and improve emotional closeness in the family and to alleviate emotional suffering.
Artūrs also actively operates outside the clinic, through mass-media, by educating the society about the importance of emotions and mental health. Through students' interest groups he improves the approach to the doctor-patient relationships of future physicians. In Balint groups, he helps colleagues to maintain work satisfaction and avoid burning out. From clinical, academic and personal experience he has come to the conviction that the greatest value is to be felt and accepted by someone. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@anthonyalonzo6407]

"CONSTRUCTIVELY" is a pretty important word

[@MrWhiteav6]

That was beautiful. Truly sincere and genuine. I'm sorry for your father.

[@xibvinaykrishnan2947]

സ്ഥസട

[@Osama-lv2oc]

Was he talking about mom or dad

[@dontask9000]

This man is so strong for being so able to talk about his dad while keeping his composure. May his dad RIP.

[@furowowo]

Im grateful that he didnt cancel the TED talk, I think the message of his speech was portrayed beautifully. Firstly I loved his calm but emotional voice, but from this video I am beginning to understand the impact of expressing my emotions to other people. Just as this man did, even though some people might have different interpretations of the speech or did not understand his situation, but we can all surely tell what he was feeling. One thing i understand is the impact of stating your feelings could be that the people who felt your emotions will want to be there to hear more and offer any help or advice, or they could learn something from you. Besides, feeling the same emotions together would be a nice feeling rather than reminiscing on your own. ❤ I hope we could all have someone to feel our feelings with us

[@fumblyfingers901]

One of the few ted talks I actually watched completely. !

[@k4t3k53]

Me too

[@StyeAI]

wat. Dood trust me, all the Ted talks out there are at some degree, net positive, than the activities you do.

[@JamesOschFilms]

BRAVO!!! "... I hope there is somebody there, that feels you." What a wonderful call for more emotional connection vs. cold efficiency. At the end I had a tear on my cheek too. A tear of hope!

[@yousefmajednayef1987]

so true! me too❤️

[@tarponjohn]

what a lovely heart felt talk...hard but you did a damn good job...thank you ..your dad would be proud

[@ImproveEnglishwithShweta]

Really true..we need somebody to feel us..not only understand us..

[@angelaaho6223]

shweta sahay 😊very true.

[@ImproveEnglishwithShweta]

@@angelaaho6223 😊

[@angelaaho6223]

shweta sahay @ 😊

[@ImproveEnglishwithShweta]

@@angelaaho6223 Which country do you belong dear?

[@angelaaho6223]

shweta sahay - I belong two countries... one I belong to Zambia and the second I belong to the States. (USA).. why? Which countries do you belong?

[@sadafmehdipour3984]

That was one of the best talks I have ever seen , my favorite part was when he explained why in some cases we run away from doing something , because we're afraid of how we're gonna feel during it , that's true AF . made me emotional

[@mandolaa4855]

I do this all my life. I have a difficulty to express my emotions. I always put myself in other's position and justify them

[@Yahweh5995]

I'm dealing with the same thing it's painful.

[@FallonInWonderland]

This was truly amazing....when he said "he's not going to call me after this" that hurt my heart. I am so sorry.

[@benstephens34]

Me too. That's the part that killed me.

[@FeelTalks]

Thank you for sharing this important message and practice!!!! Having someone who can simply just FEEL what you are feeling is all we need in our worst times. We don't need to be told "do this, do that", "fix this, fix that", or "CHANGE this, change that"... All we need is someone who can listen, be there, share the silence, and feel our emotions. 💞

[@saloniuppal]

Believe in yourself 😊 Believe in your capacity to do good and great things 😊 Believe that no mountain is so high that you can't climb it😊 Believe that no storm is so great that you can not weather it 😊 For instance 👉A Bird 🐦 sitting a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because her trust is not on the branch but on it's own wings Always believe in yourself 😊

[@VikeingBlade]

Thank you!! You're so right ♡ Believing, feeling, and striving to improve things is the best we can do

[@johhny1759]

Saloni Uppal this is so beautiful thank you

[@johhny1759]

Saloni Uppal this is poetry to me.

[@min1944]

This touched me emotionally and it was interesting how he related 3 seemingly different stories and scenarios to actually all explain one point. I loved what Lucy’s Mom told her and this resonated with me. Great job and I am so sorry for the loss of your father.

[@righteousree9837]

Wow... ain't gonna front....this made me really sit back and think...

[@komalattri2459]

Really really need this Thank u for uploading this video

[@curlyquirks72]

I'm going through a tough time right now and this is something I really needed to hear...thank you 💙

[@angelaaho6223]

Valentina -I’m sorry to hear that your struggling. I understand cause since this past weekend on Sunday after church to about Tuesday I been going through a hard time mentally. So your not alone. Hang in there and be strong and there light at the end of the tunnel. Know this God is there for you even if you can’t feel him near you but He understands you 100 percent what you are struggling with and give it to Him to carry and He loves you very much.

[@keziaeunike1139]

Sorry to hear that, Valentina. We're here for you ♥️

[@magplin]

Valentina-san 💓

[@dabsmomos]

1. "We are conditioned that it is okay to feel a certain feelings and not ok to feel other feelings". 2. It is in our biology to feel and that is why it is ok for Psychotherapists to feel emotions of their patients. 3. "I hope u have somebody who feels you." Simple and profound messages!

[@lobsterbisque7567]

I'm fortunate. When I was 17, I started playing an instrument, and when I had a bad breakup shortly after turning 18, I started journalling. Two of the most constructive ways that helped me deal with life.

[@youraveragenanamistan]

Artūrs, you said you were nervous about this talk and yet, you did great. what i noticed and particularly liked about this ted talk is how you didn't exactly construct/organise your talk, or at least not as much as others in your position do. it was like i was having an actual conversation with you, it felt like i was listening to you talking to me about your latest thoughts on a topic. i realised this when you went back to the story about the little kid after talking about your father, because you suddenly forgot you hadn't wrapped that story up. this is how we are naturally supposed to talk! we forget, we go back, sometimes we don't say enough while other times we talk a little too much! this is why it felt so genuine.

[@clintraymundo6547]

I was about to tear up when he admitted to his girlfriend that he misses his dad. I really liked the story of Lucy. We don’t know that expressing our emotions can help a stranger express their own.

[@demonbunnny]

That is so beautiful, I have tears in my eyes now.

[@evelinapinzaru7998]

I adore his speech, so vulnerable and yet meaningful ❤.

[@macktheripper7454]

I too experienced the death of my father (2017) and it totally destroyed me. The good news is it taught me a lot and I discovered some beautiful things in life. I still get angry, I still cry a lot but death is something we all need to embrace at some point in our lives. God bless you, and thanks for a wonderful talk.

[@novankaveldasari5384]

Mek 0y77h

[@jayayo6392]

I loved the ending. "And I hope every single one of you has the experience that not somebody understands you, but somebody feels you"

[@comedianmattrossey]

Arturs, Thank you! I was listening intently as I do to all TED x and TEDtalks. I was having a difficult time seeing where you were going with your talk up until when you said you told your girlfriend, "I miss him, ALOT", and a sudden gush of air came out of the bottom of my stomach and escaped my mouth with a sudden sound of freedom, at the same time, a single tear flowed out of both eyes.......I know those feelings and thoughts well! I miss her, ALOT. My mom died a week to the day before her 70th birthday in 2016. My dad died when I was 8 years old in 1980. I unfortunately never had the time with my dad to develop the father/son bond, but with my mom I did, she was both mom and dad for me. Arturs, same thing, you go through your days without a thought of the ones you love, alive or dead, and only regret that you never thought of them more when they are gone, which makes us angry, angry at ourselves for not doing more with them when we still could. Arturs, in time we have to find peace and forgiveness for ourselves for our regrets. A very favorite quote of mine from a movie called Jacob's Ladder, "If your frightened of dying and your holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away, but, if you've made your piece with yourself you'll see the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth, it's just a matter of how you look at it, that's all." As a psychotherapist you would be interested in the underlying psychological history from the Vietnam War from experiments that the American military performed on soldiers using psycho active drugs where whole platoons murdered themselves and each other in a massacre. The movie is about Jacob Singer, a man and a soldier, through a turn of unfortunate events before going to Vietnam and experiencing the drug tests, then returns back to the States after the war, deals with his issues of death. Thank you Arturs for such a great TEDx !!!!!!! Peace, Love, Happiness....and forgiveness of yourself.

[@jaydanwalters]

This has helped me understand why it's hard to express my feeling of lose to my misses as I have troubles but it is good to have you're point of view to help guide. Thank you so much

[@Amit-ti2nf]

"Not somebody understand you, but somebody feel you" I love this 🥰

[@Channabasava.]

Everybody need somebody to feel the same, not only to understand...

[@susanmazzanti5643]

Thank you. This gives me a way to work through feelings that arose after a bad wreck changed my life. Now I have to face my feelings and get on with a different life than the one I planned and at least make it better than it looks to me right now.

[@angelaaho6223]

Susan Mazzanti -I hear you and understand.

[@hiibaael7848]

notice how his voice changed from the beginning till the end . When people say the truth and talk from the bottom of their heart their voice changes , it became deep , calm , true , you can really feel that he really misses his dad . may he rest in peace . one of the best speechs i've heard . :)

[@RooRichy]

I was going to zip though this to get the point and move on at 1.75 speed. But... then I slowed it down... paused it while I made a brew... played it on normal speed... watched it until the end.. emotions hit thinking about how my baby and 4yo need me and how we all need each other sometimes.. but we push our feelings away... then I watched it from the beginning again on normal speed.. thought about my grandad who died when I was about 10 and would have liked to know more before he passed because I feel I would have had a lot in common with him as personalities. I miss him and I really want to meet him again, I hope I do one day. Your talk was great. Thank you for getting out of your comfort zone. I'm just one out of many many people that have felt emotion through your talk and stopped to think and taken the time to relate to it.

[@HeavenBooze]

I loved this. I love that he was personal and honest. I love that he also had a dry sense of humor. Great talk!

[@fallingscalesmedia]

So grateful for your talk Arturs. Thank you for your openness and vulnerability, it moved me so much. I pray God blesses all your steps and those you help.

[@shellducker7078]

Well said. Your dad was there, he lives within you. 💞🙏

[@carolina6683]

I also had that phone call (from my mum, not yours!) and it too was the one I had always dreaded. Your speech was heartfelt and insightful, thank you - your dear Dad would be proud of you. Best wishes to you, Artūrs.

[@lingbenjamin6019]

Through your voice I can feel your feelings. You bring your ideas to us and in return, we are able to feel you.

[@minahilqureshi8503]

An absolutely exceptional and well thought out talk! "it is not important for people to only understand us but feel us"

[@ruthvansandt9713]

I am crying now. I wish my mom had responded like Lucy’s mom. I wasn’t allowed to ask for anything, not even at Christmas. So I guess I decided it was easier to not want anything. There were a couple times I did anyway, but I’m learning I have trouble identifying what I want in many circumstances. And double trouble expressing it.

[@rockysss8125]

Wonderful speech,it made me realize how important it is to feel the emotion and express it that's the essence of being a human.

[@annissaretnoarimdayu1533]

He explained about feeling, together with shared his feeling. And I can get his explanation clearly. Wow. I am listening and practicing at the same time.

[@akothbake1096]

I hope everyone has that someone that they can just open up to and just be themselves with..without judgement

[@angelaaho6223]

Akoth Bake -I agree with you on that but unfortunately some of us in this world we don’t have that and we need some to be that not to judge. So we can have a safe place to open up and heal without getting judge.

[@AnastasiaShanueva]

That's an amazing talk. A brilliant story. Thank you! 💙💛💚💜

[@peterreed736]

Thru personal bitter experience I've learnt a number of things: 1) never open up, 2) never be vulnerable, 3) never trust anyone and 4) keep your emotions on check at all times. These are the things that I don't have the luxury of doing. Without fail everyone I've ever met has let me down in the end so I'm no longer prepared to risk of doing any of the above.

[@that.simp_2620]

I understand what you're saying

[@contessatashemedicielo2272]

When we were kids, we were taught to never cry if it is from our own stupidity.

[@Hvstla]

I have been trying to listen to nice English speakers but apart from that I really enjoy all your videos. Thank you! Such nice advise

[@midknight1968]

Many run away from emotions, is sad . Thank you!

[@angelaaho6223]

Michaela Carocci - you are right we do sometime run away from our emotions or at least try too... but they show up in different ways. Some of us don’t want to feel so we burry our emotions deep but doesn’t help just makes us worse and eventually they come out either physical way, mental as well.

[@mikojose2312]

it's so good that i rewatched it so many times and not get tired of it

[@zzulm]

This is emotional attunement and it's needed in children to feel safe.

[@marylinmanuel1088]

Y’all, I am ballin my eyes out 😭

[@arielaurelio3005]

Really i fell diferent after watching this video, i think my mind has opened a new windows, a new way of feeling myself and feeling other people. Thanks a lot

[@dmitryaronov1611]

Thanks for this wonderful talk, Artūrs!!

[@MoniqueGrace]

Absolutely love this, hooked me from the start🙏

[@mehdi4704]

This was a fantastic talk, I feel he really conveyed what he was trying to say very well! Really glad he continued with the talk because this was extremely helpful!

[@lacthetomato]

I just recently had the most touching experience, and it was so mundane. I went out to get some sun since the day was freezing, I see a dad and his kid playing around the street... I stared and wondered for a long minute and, just like you, I started feeling "I miss him". Fortunately or not, my father didn't die, he abandoned us when I was very little, he mistreated my mom uncountable times. Yet when I saw that scene I just felt that... I feel you

[@verde3144]

I didn't even watch this to know how truthful the video is.

[@newtuber4freedom43]

Not everyone has someone ... great talk tho. Thank you for speaking. I am so sorry for your loss.

[@radiantguy]

And it will never get easier, you will never forget him and you will always think to call him to tell him about something you did or happened to to you then you remember that he is not here, mine was gone about 3 years ago and I wrote the following around his birthday on December...(originally written in Arabic and it's much better)... I will not cry while I am telling the upcoming about what happened... I am now better than how I was after what happened... When I used to bleed tears on my way anywhere... Followed by a hysterical laugh remembering your jokes everywhere... And now I cry because you left and I wasn't there... Traveling for work and that was not taken into account... Now my tears flows when I visit you in that place... My heart is gone and my brain can not process what my eyes are seeing... It sees a piece of marble on a pool of sand with your name on it... As I am carrying your name now... While my brain is still hoping that one day you will return from a traveling trip... Denying that it's a trip for eternity... Damn it time... The time when I woke up early for work that day... To find that message sent by an anonymous... Giving me their condolences for what happened... So I called my brother to make sure if what happened...Happened... That is when the fire in my heart turned to a volcano... Sorry Dad... I started writing this to celebrate your birthday which was few days ago... But happiness couldn't fill the emptiness you left in my heart... After what happened...Happened... I can not say RIP until now... Because that means my brain and heart are admitting that what happened actually happened... I am programmed on who leaves will always one day return... And you are my first very close relative to... D I E If you return now from your traveling trip... I wouldn't even mind to inherit your nose... I don't know the unknown... But I wish that you are now laughing... In that place... Where my heart is now traveling

[@Mr.BossMan99]

Very beautiful speech

[@laurennemarieangel2332]

I can feel you Dr. when you said you missed your Dad a LOT...😢 Great stories you’ve shared

[@VHPINC]

Thank you for sharing your feelings.

[@sayanghosh5462]

This is one of best video of ted talks❤ Needed this a lot

[@biba3331]

this man is just a genius i am at my lowest and he made me feel better he is so strong

[@esthaltap9499]

Thanks for sharing... In this world sometimes I feel the lonely hyper sensitive person..abundant times I shout up...or I fail because of that

[@plantxarmybtsgrowth5776]

I’m sorry for your loss 💕my heart goes out to you thankyou for your video feelings are important 💕💕💕

[@raz665]

See this is what we needed, someone being there with you that they felt exact the same 👀

[@Bloodman42]

I really needed this. Thank you very much.

[@BalikesirCicek]

Çok teşekkür ederim.👏🇹🇷👏🇹🇷👏

[@darkstar9385]

Thank you for sharing!

[@owenwilson7699]

My dog Marley was the finest teacher of this lesson I can think of

[@michellemyer3055]

Owen Wilson yes he was next to my Ginger of course. 🙂. Just watched "Marley & Me" a couple of months ago (I know, I've been under a rock...) My abusive ex ran over my 17 yr old Ginger. I had tried to prepare for her to reach point where I would have to put her to "sleep" or 'down" but not to have her die that way. Watching your movie made me see it would have been hard either way. At least it was quick & any suffering was not long. You & all the cast were awesome!!

[@owenwilson7699]

Wow! Thank you so much Michelle, very touching. I'm so sorry he did that :'( Try not to fall into hatred towards the guy because that will tune you closer to his frequency. There's no excusing what he did but remember, he would have to be in great pain to do such a thing. Forgive as much as you can but don't forget. Hopefully you can successfully cut all ties with him if you haven't. Stay strong my friend.

[@nicom4996]

It's not what im searching for but wow it is a beautiful talk

[@D.hanush]

This made my day. Thank you so much,I had a bad day n this Ted talk uplifted me. Much love ❤️

[@b.k.5249]

Wow! Very nice young and wise man! Such a great and personal speach!

[@Jojo-up8et]

I didn't drop a tear I cried

[@lydiameriana3154]

Thank you for sharing. That was healing

[@TheSwissEditor]

I`m not gonna neglect my feelings... I LOVE IT!! ^ ^

[@dude4173]

I wanna hug this dude!

[@carolinabergstrom5409]

❤ made me cry 😥

[@latoyahenry5881]

Wow. Beautiful. Thank you so much

[@abdullahmaiga5956]

I have benefited and enjoy 😊 a lot to watch this guy and I am so sorry 😐 for your father

[@carolaideee]

I lost my father too and I've been struggling so much to navigate through grief. It's so painful and at home we don't really acknowledge it. I miss him so much and it hurts.

[@anetesilkina1920]

Bravo!

[@artbyraik]

One of the best speeches

[@Balancinglife]

Hit me right In the feels.

[@mohamedhamdaoui27]

That was just incredible !

[@yemisrachgebru7298]

thank you and i am sorry for your beloved father

[@SABIKKANNUR]

I LIKED THIS VEDIO & NICE PRESENTATION 💞💞💞

[@nickandchrismom]

I agree, great video and talk indeed

[@chinesficoufacil-brazilian7713]

I loved it! Thank you❤️

[@Zarghami]

Emotions are to Guide you, not hold you back..

[@PriyankaGupta-ew1li]

Thankyou 🙏❤

[@DurrBurgerProductions]

Wonderful

[@ayeshas7907]

Fantastic topic!

[@asuhayat195]

Waowwwww, Gold😊🙋🙋

[@tilottamam7315]

Thanks that was much needed

[@anujjaiswal440]

Such a lovely talk

[@ingridgellert2354]

Amazing thank you for sharing 🙏

[@carloschau9310]

"Constructively" I knew I hard to come in and like the video upon seeing this

[@matilderibovski1015]

Anybody who works with psychotherapy should watch Teal Swan's videos. Artūrs, I'm sure you will agree with me when you watch them. Great job you've been doing.

[@adv.prashantjagtap7750]

*wow, great way to say ur emotions*

[@bearwithgirl]

Thank you so much.

[@emilytaylor1001]

❤