Text mistakes every guy makes (And how to correct them!)

[@ToddVDating]

This texting example is a little EXTREME... but the types of things he did wrong are way too common. Are you making these mistakes as well?

[@medhii5873]

Broo I was going to sleep, watching this ans It's not because of you, I like fight club too and Joe rogan but damn this Man need to watch some stand up

[@TheJyothy]

Todd ... How do you game in such a way that girls are perfectly OK with you having other girls apart from them to hook up with? Whats the frame that would enable this premise?

[@TheJyothy]

How to game married women whose attraction had turned into love for you yet are guilt tripped about breaking marietal vows or simply coming across as a cheat? In my case a woman admitted her passions for me yet conflicted about her actions to go all the way.... I really care about making the experience regret free for her ... Or is it as simple as once the deed is done, it wont matter as much as it mattered befoe

[@TheJyothy]

Am from India Todd and women here are always inculcated with concepts like one woman should not think of anyone apart her husband.... How to ease them off the conditioning so that they enjoy having fun with me?

[@TheJyothy]

Pls reply todd

[@tmoore2321]

rule#1: do not engage in long paragraphs of texts. if she sends them to you then you're golden but i find its never a good idea to send more than 2-3 sentences at a time because it just looks too try hard and your giving yourself way too much room for mistakes. Remember, less is more when it comes to talking to females. especially when texting

[@Mattedmz]

Yeah I feel only time where that should be acceptable is if shes just as invested & sending long messages about a particular topic.. I've had plenty of times where I had this type of interaction & worked out fine, but if you're the one sending long messages & shes just sending couple sentences back. Huge red flag.

[@kingdee5388]

What do I do when she gets upset that I’m not texting her?

[@cellshaded]

@@kingdee5388 You text her 😆. She's literally telling you her logistical requirements. Just keep it light and ask questions. Like others have said, 1-2 sentences. Get to the date/close.

[@sh0werp0wer]

Also, name dropping a random author you saw on Joe Rogan's podcast is like the single dumbest thing you could write to a woman studying literature, lol.

[@SpaceXForce]

Every time I long text even after she long texts, she will often short text. If I short text she often long texts back. Too much interest or attention is counter intuitive with women. Save it for your guy friends

[@cussyrichards6121]

It's frustrating that women have so many options that you feel like if you put one piece of punctuation in the wrong place it's game over for you and she'll have moved onto the next guy already...

[@payamb5039]

Can't agree more with this and I think it's our own fault. we keep texting them even when they're clearly not showing any interest whatsoever so they're so confident they can get guys all the time that even small things can change her mind about you. that's why I don't agree with the whole "try for it even if she's showing low interest" which a lot of dating coaches, todd included, advocate. if you feel like she's showing low interest just get rid of her

[@George-Chris]

Best is to have lots of options too. I have about 2-5 girls at the same time I'm talking to and dating, and when I see red flags in one of them that are a dealbreaker for me (like too much negativity, immaturity or bad hygiene, amog other things), I reject those girls. Even though I approached them first, I can easily walk away when I don't like what I'm seeing or hearing. I find this mindset much better for us guys.

[@cussyrichards6121]

@@George-Chris Yeah, well that means you've got to be a guy with lots of options. And that's hard to be unless you're like a 6ft 4in Ivy League educated millionaire pro athlete/model with a massive Instagram following

[@mezzuna]

The game is on brutal mode right now imo. I was going out with a girl for a couple years and am back trying my hand at this and it's much more difficult than I either gave it credit for or it's became harder. I am also now bald though, which may effect (much better shape though)

[@destructor5675]

It’s the game bro. Guys have to chase for sex. Girls have to chase for relationships

[@veganchristian5127]

This shit is like decoding the israeli intelligence firewall, bruh if you ask her out straight up and she doesnt say yes, give up on her. It shouldnt be this hard

[@Narusasu98]

😂😂

[@DeepakJAT0007]

If she say yes, give up on her wtf 😅😅

[@z.p.m.n.8240]

Todd would have had a heart attack if he seen some of my conversations🤦

[@bobdroll6381]

Hahaha

[@gauravtv9876]

😂

[@impec]

lol same here

[@Kinobambino]

I think he'd be impressed with mine

[@Stevemazzagati_TheToolBox]

🤣👌🏽

[@codederick6920]

Surprised Todd didn't mention that his texts were WAY TOO LONG. Never send girls paragraph long texts. It looks try hard and I'm speaking from experience. I've been guilty of this many times. Try to keep most, if not all, of your texts to 1-2 lines. The brevity will also make her chase more.

[@George-Chris]

When you're in a relationship or already know the girl for a few months, I guess that can work but not on a daily basis, right?

[@George-Chris]

@@peter11947 buddy you're being over sensitive and taking things too serious, it's not so black and white in the real world

[@SammyCee23]

Agreed 100%. I will add to misspell words on purpose to look like an "idiot". Also, never type anything in uppercase. Write everything in lowercase and don't use punctuation. Basically, The more proper you text, the less attractive.

[@rhobodub]

@@SammyCee23, lol what? Being illiterate is attractive? What a bullshit.

[@Fred-zt5ky]

@@SammyCee23 wtf lol

[@sutats]

Remember that the golden rule of texting is for setting dates.

[@SammyCee23]

100%!

[@equinoxb8711]

Yes, but if you met online, you need to get some traction going before pulling the meet up trigger. Just don't overinvest.

[@discordredpillgroup6856]

👀📤

[@josephbennett6810]

@@equinoxb8711 Don't meet girls online

[@mathewhimself]

I loved what you said, what is your Instagram?

[@DeadLemonz]

In a situation where she clearly knows more than you about a topic, I try to acknowledge their expertise and guide the conversation back to flirting... It works well in most situations. Example: "I must admit, contemporary American fiction is not my forte; although, with a teacher like you I wouldn't mind sitting through a few classes ; ) "

[@DeadLemonz]

It'll also keep you from jumping down the rabbit hole of googling shit you don't know anything about for an hour.

[@hakin888]

I'm kinda new to deciphering blueprints and acting on it for my favor. I'm talking to this girl who's into skincare, makeup stuff and watching korean drama, do you got any ideas on how to advance with these blueprints in my favor?

[@luisd8818]

Fucking genius response! I like it

[@DeadLemonz]

​@@hakin888 Sorry I just saw this and it's probably too late, but I'll respond regardless for future reference. I'd avoid creating a connection off of any of these specific aspects if you're not into them because since they're particularly uncommon for guys to be into, you'd be entering her frame entirely. Take a different avenue when it comes to building rapport such as seeing if you have any common beliefs or values and briefly emphasize them to make her feel as though it's a unique connection (Ex. believing conspiracy theories, having controversial opinions, having common routines). I rarely give compliments; however, if a girl is into skincare/makeup and you randomly bring up their makeup looks good as opposed to directly complimenting their appearance, it blows their minds.

[@unapersonamas5941]

thats actually a smooth one

[@HornetBojan]

1. Mistake: Starting a text with: about our plans to meet ... Like he was thinking only of that plan 24/7. and the tone of that, like they are business partners. 2. Mistake: What is paper about? She knows you don't care about her paper and she knows you're just asking to make sure you "don't loose her". 3. Mistake: Writing a long tirade about the author and bla bla bla. He should just use one sentence max. Again he's comunicating: I'm trying, I don't want to loose you. And it's boring. 4. First major nail in the coffin: "I hope this is not a blueprint for our romance." And again too much, bla bla bla. I don't need to watch the rest. This is game over on so many levels.

[@eXebeno]

5. people who dont know the difference between lose and loose

[@ocgmail42]

@@eXebeno 😄

[@HornetBojan]

@@eXebeno6. people who think they're smart by correcting grammar ...

[@eXebeno]

@@HornetBojan 7. people who think I consider myself smart just because I simply corrected someone's grammar

[@thebenevolentsun6575]

Who asked you buddy? 😂

[@markusmase]

I actually implemented these strategies and got three numbers from online conversations today that were previously heading nowhere. Keep things short, witty, and always be closing. Thanks Todd.

[@OLDPEDOJOE]

just keep it light, fun, and emotional, once you start getting into logical conversations, you seem like every other boring guy. I'm no expert, but that's the advice that was given to me and when I stray from that path, I always seem to crash and burn.

[@DAMfoxygrampa]

I'm with you there

[@xchalibur77]

That’s one of the biggest advice any man should hear. The second one is banther with them from time to time, they really enjoy that.

[@timmusgrove91]

I think a lot of guys struggle to know how to make it "light and fun" without seeming strange. Also how do you make it emotional?

[@OLDPEDOJOE]

@@timmusgrove91 Just throw in some light teases here and there for some emotional spikes. I like to just talk about absurd things like a chick said: "I haven't seen you in a million years!" So I inferred that she was a vampiress, it's fun and sexy, leading the conversation to more sexual topics, but not getting graphic or profane.

[@timmusgrove91]

@@OLDPEDOJOE The problem is that speaking like that is highly incongruent for most people so it comes across weird and janky. That's the problem with most game "tactics"

[@bigspence6898]

Text as little as possible. Be OK with a few days of silence. Leave her on read (sometimes) but wanting more. Set plans.

[@George-Chris]

texting can be a powerful weapon though, in creating attraction. Especially if you do sexting. ;)

[@MrHav1k]

Todd proving why he's the GOAT of this space. Great content!

[@xlortiz]

Todd is the greatest !

[@shastregorshonirel2598]

What is GOAT?

[@corychappo6372]

I thought this was dumb just say okay get back to me next weekend if she doesn’t move on

[@mlh5434]

After her initial "I can't this week", I would've simply responded with "Gotcha, well hit me up once that's all over with if you want." And leave it at that. When a girl makes it even quasi-difficult to meet, just "burden shift" the responsibility of making plans over to her and let the whole thing die after that if need be. Let's face it, there aren't hundreds of female dating coaches on KZbin having to analyze every phrase and piece of punctuation to help women "get the guy". If you have to analyze things this much, it's not worth it. Chase money not women.

[@CRAPO2011]

Excellent simplification👍direct putting out her over complication of meeting up that girl sounds like a feminist snob anyway looking for any reason to skip him.

[@rishidaryanani5098]

Fine, but I'd rather be more masculine about it and get back to her myself later to make plans. Hit her up after a few days, ask. her how her week went and ask her out.

[@tonirrolquimiguitau745]

Top tier comment, honestly.

[@Yum_Yum_Delicious_Cum]

Been there done that doesn't work, a woman needs some kind of motivation before hand and she won't ever take the initiative. So this strategy wil leave you alone pondering in your bedroom. Unless you get that 1/10.000.000 girl that goes for you that doesn't have ulterior motives, Don't be a pussy and go talk to woman, fail adjust repeat untill you succeed

[@timreeves8937]

Yeah, this is great advice and what you should do. He just met her and she was either genuinely busy (looks like the case here) or playing hard to get showing she has a life, so I would have just said good luck and hit me up. If she doesnt then maybe one more text the next week to see if she is still interested.

[@ModernDatingMastery]

*Keeping the conversation light and engaging, respecting her time, and not bombarding her with messages are key to creating a healthy texting dynamic.*

[@Ry77x]

I reached out to a really hot woman about a month ago. We texted off and on then she kind of went cold after a few days. I waited until day 4-5 then sent her a reminder that I was still handsome. She laughed and said that I wasn’t gonna give up on her was I. I said, “I’ll never give up on our love Ashley”. … she’s been texting me almost everyday now and have plans this coming Labor Day weekend. Wish me luck boys!

[@lambdacode1503]

GL man!

[@Ry77x]

@@lambdacode1503 So far so good brotha.

[@noobatron2663]

@@Ry77x how things be now?

[@tonic1667]

are you blocked yet? 😂

[@Ry77x]

@@tonic1667 Hell no. She’s all about me. Been bangn that for almost a year now.

[@jaylove3487]

Honestly, if you have to go through this much trouble to get the girl, it’s not worth it, it’s never worth it !!

[@rizzamaeong]

You only have to find that one unicorn anyway. Heard this from Alex Hormozi.

[@SPACEDOUT19]

@@rizzamaeong if a girl is not into you, she will not make it easy for you at all. doesnt matter if she is a unicorn. she has to be into you also.

[@bobdroll6381]

Guy's got "improv on Tuesday" but can't cobble together a few sentences without burying himself in embarrassment and regret...

[@MrCharrrles]

probably why he does improv in the first place

[@simosavustaja9420]

Do you want a girl who gets angry from something like that?

[@jose.brother]

thats not the point

[@MasterNcognito]

Honestly, I don’t blame her for being offended by him using that women’s suicide as the butt of the joke.

[@delawarehistory1675]

@@jose.brother It actually is the point. I wouldn't touch her with a 10ft pole. She saved him the trouble.

[@Paul-yk7ds]

More play-by-play text game analysis like this would be amazing +++

[@TheStableGenius]

If a girl freaks out about that kind of stuff, she would have freaked out about something silly in real life too. Sometimes it's a blessing, and a smart man would've ended the messaging there and then and ghosted her. Unfortunately, most of us can't do that. But yeah, messaging sucks in the early stages. Men have to know what they're doing. Great tip from Todd here is to leave some space to the details, where, when, etc. These are reasonable texts to have in the mean time.

[@Cooliewhistles]

Exactly, this girl sucks….

[@goseone412]

100%! Reminds me of when I was around 17ish and I was making fun of Justin Bieber which she was apparently obsessed with, and she full on blew up and me and things were never the same. Like come on seriously, you’re gonna get angry at me for making fun of your fake boyfriend and ditch things with us lol

[@delawarehistory1675]

Oh I would have ended it right there- and I wouldn't have cared either. She has to earn a chance with me. I've dated enough red flags to be 110% with immediately ghosting someone who is easily triggered.

[@stevenlawrence5733]

There's too much texting between them and I have put myself down the road of doom texting too much. They are texting what they should be discussing in person.

[@onelieisenoughtoquestional5437]

She actually saved him...from her.

[@andremotivation6561]

Facts, this definitely isn't a loss for him. She seemed like a timewaster

[@suhdongbin8248]

Since when dating has become so complicated and fucking hard to do?

[@codederick6920]

Gonna check this out tonight but my tips are keep your texts brief, playful, take longer to respond than her, and talking on the phone is better than texting. Also, on rare occasions, leave her on read.

[@rizzamaeong]

If a girl finds out you deliberately took longer to reply, or seen mode without reply and she finds out you're playing games, the right girl would be turned off. Play games with the rest but if its the right one, games will always backfire. We'd hate that sh*t.

[@jordyalmonte42]

I also find that voice messages are better than texting. Especially if she reciprocates. You can perfectly communicate your feelings, tone, humor and have the time to respond correctly (or to the best to your ability)

[@STRANNNIk13]

@@rizzamaeong all of it, relationships in general, is just a game. relax

[@doyourbest7655]

When she extended the time to get together, the subtle message is only see you if I have too, so I will put you off for as long as possible without saying no I don’t want to see you. The soft let down.

[@adamkuc9440]

I would say 90% of the times these long planned meetings are cancelled, die out or are not successful, yeah :/

[@jacobwomack7316]

I see this as a total win... Don't want a woman that can switch moods that quickly just when making light talk...

[@sh0werp0wer]

Joking about someone's suicide isn't light talk, lol. It's like the dumbest thing you can do with a woman you've just met. Dark humour is my bread and butter, but it's super risky with people who don't know your values/intent yet, and at very least has to be intelligent and funny, something this wasn't - he just came off as ignorant/emotionally illiterate and/or immature. I was with a woman once listening to Queens when she said "Nothing beats Freddie Mercury", I quipped "Except AIDS" and she laughed her ass off, because it was actually clever and funny (even though it's dark af and she was a big fan of him).

[@Fred-zt5ky]

@@sh0werp0wer you sound just as lame as her

[@edub8803]

The girl getting triggered seems like a red flag.

[@TorTuga744]

to be fair i'd get triggered as well if someone made that stupid of a joke about someone i respect and look up to

[@ocgmail42]

Men are more logical, women are more emotional. From a logical standpoint, of course this was overkill on her part. But from an emotional standpoint, its not shocking that she would react that way. As a man, that wasn't a logical text since women have a high chance of reacting like this, especially over text where there is no chance of modifying the delivery of a joke. Obviously, I'm playing monday morning quarterback right now and talking from an outside perspective. This could easily happen to anyone trying to keep an interaction going.

[@ManBearPiglet]

No way, I'm surprised she's even going to the effort of explaining it to him, he must be tall and handsome. This is like if a girl says she loves Jesus and you respond by saying "hahaha you mean the magic jewish zombie who's his own father?" It just seems cringeworthy, insulting and uncalibrated, you're way better off changing the topic.

[@bobdroll6381]

@@ManBearPiglet Hahahaha!, exactly.

[@bobdroll6381]

The only red flag here was that unsophisticated goofball and his clumsy texts.

[@By.daniieel]

If I'm honest, he only needed to wrote "sounds quite boring lmao" at one point to keep it semi entertaining

[@jamarworthy4065]

I woulda said tht

[@timmusgrove91]

I feel like he should just be happy he got some responses back, something to work with. Usually girls just don't respond to me when they are fed up.

[@guitarthrasher81]

Seems like not being an idiot is hard for some people to do haha literally all you have to do is not be weird

[@marioottaiano475]

I personally did mistakes like these, I mean joking about something a girl is very sensible about, but I like joking about these things, since if a girl overreacts as in this case is not the right kind of girl for me, I want someone who can be really self-ironic and not taking life too serious. My point, anyway, is: what is the sense of writing soooo long texts? In my opinion these are topics you should talk about on a one to one date, if you do it on texts, when you meet the girl face to face you have nothing to talk about since you already told everything through text

[@nickk7425]

I strongly suspect that a lot of guys success and failure when chatting with females through text, just depends a lot on the particular females mood/head space at that exact moment...

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Excellent

[@raulmartinezv6500]

Texting girls feels like walking on eggshells all the time

[@Gr8_izzie]

Before you know it you'll balance like a monk

[@tygobermind3640]

Only if you are afraid to lose something and expect a certain outcome.

[@DYMABASE]

How I see it. If it doesn't happen through text, it'll happen in person. Better to not date her if she's the type to get triggered and overreact about something like this.

[@sylwestermaikel7214]

so fckng true, cant even imagine to live with someone that u cant talk to normal coz u need to watch what ur sayn all time. If she/he s like that u should leave it behind and dont even try coz after time u ill attach to this person and it ill be harder to leave.

[@tygobermind3640]

I disagree, with texting you only see letters on a screen. When you meet in person, there's tone, faicial expression, body language etc and you can get away with much more.

[@IvanGicos1]

I starting to get good at texting because of you todd

[@sharonlima8913]

Which vid did you see exactly?

[@ninthprophet7991]

The only mistake I think he made was persisting with the conversation after her reaction to the joke; have higher standards than that! On the one hand, sure, he can improve his game to get results with anyone; on the other, he can self-filter for who he can enjoy spending time with lol.

[@chltmdwp]

if someone says they are not availble this week, unless they are out of the town, it's not worth the effort for rescheduling. When they say that, it just means fuck off nicely.

[@tomsammons6480]

The only power you have as a man is to become as high value as possible

[@rizzamaeong]

Yes. Status and resources is like magnet. Its the truth that many don't see. Women want providers and protectors who are willing to invest in them. Human biology wins. As much as men want youthfulness and good gene partnership for offspring, women prefer resources and willingness to share resources for her. So simple.

[@SPACEDOUT19]

cope

[@codederick6920]

Todd, what are the best date spots? Bar is great but I don't drink alcohol. Your place? Her place? Park? Beach? Mini golf?

[@ishi...]

That you cut us off at the and feels very manipulative, you could show the whole thing and still advertise your Mentorship program by mentioning more examples. In this case I didn't think her, in your words "extreme", response was actually bad at all. She took time to explain in detail, why his joke was inappropriate, and gave him a chance to redeem himself and apologise; I think that is very positive and his apology probably helped to bring the two closer together. (but how can I tell, you did cut us off after all)

[@erich6096]

First the backstory to the text interaction. I'm currently not good at cold approaches. I was decades ago but not now (that's another story). However I did I cold approach an attractive young lady just a few years ago (sort of) in the year or two before Covid. The girl who caught my eye was in a train station one morning waiting for the train. I'd seen her the day before then had been kicking myself for not approaching her then. I worked out in my mind what I could have done or said if I had, then promised myself if I ever saw her again I'd approach her. The next day at the same time and place she was at the same train stop chatting with her girlfriend. We all boarded the train while I waited for a break in her conversation which never happened. So my idea was to write her a quick note with my number explaining I didn't want to be rude by interrupting her conversation but that I thought she was cute then invited her to text me. I handed her a note to her on my way out of the train. All I was able to say verbally before I left was "that's for you" then handed her the note before I exited the train. Then I waited to see if she would text me back. Later that night she did. I had no clue or skill about what I was doing quite obviously then sabotaged myself horribly. Which of course made me feel even worse after working up the courage to approach her in the first place. The girl first asked if passing notes usually gets a response. I answered truthfully that I didn't know, I'd never done it before. Then we engaged in some more small talk or "text" to be more accurate. It was years ago so I don't remember exactly was discussed but I remember it mostly involved biographical questions about ourselves then onto logistics of a meeting. What we would eat, what kind of wine she liked, etc. I was too needy and focused back then. My mindset is different today. I began hammering down details of a first meeting which received only concise responses such as "sounds lovely". Then I made the mistake of saying I thought we would make a cute couple. That ruined the entire interaction instantly. She stated she didn't think it was going to work out while we were still in our first text interaction. At that point I figured I had nothing to lose by asking her if I said done something wrong. Her response was no, that she's very noncommittal. From that point I began continuing to keep that interaction alive by attempting to walk back my earlier comment but it was clearly too late. It was over before it even started at that point. I still attempted to reach out occasionally (every few days) but was ghosted. Eventually, since I knew all was lost and I thought I would never get a reply again anyway I sent a text basically stating something to the effect of "this is pointless I give up" which garnered a response almost immediately of a tirade from her claiming she had been away on a trip then accusing me of attempting to shame her into a response followed by a demand for me to delete her number. I didn't delete her number (I think at the time because I liked having a reminder in my phone I was able to get a girl's number, even if it went badly), I but I did stop texting her altogether then began avoiding taking that train during that time from that time forward. A few weeks or months later (I can't remember) I was at a completely different train station at a totally different time. Then noticed her again from a distance. She seemed to be pointing me out to someone else that time, her girlfriend I think, I honestly can't remember. All I remember is it made me uncomfortable so I just boarded my train then left. Later that night since it was still bothering me and I still had her number I sent her a text to apologize basically explaining we randomly crossed paths again by accident. She responded by asking who I was. When I told her, she ghosted me again. That just made me feel even more anxious and uncomfortable. I did delete her number from my phone after that. Although I realized later without expressly telling her in the text I'd deleted her number she'd have no way of knowing that (since I obviously hadn't the first time). A few weeks after that they both walked right in front of me then sat down near me at the station. I walked over to them then let her know I deleted her number. For some reason whenever I approached them (even the first time with the note) her friend always began to smile. I approached her again then just said something like hey "I deleted your number". Her response was to ask me who I was. At that point I just said "nevermind" then walked away and left. A few weeks later I ended up across from her friend (who's name I still don't know) on the train. She was the quiet one who was always listening when her friend that I liked would not stop talking. The one who always started smiling when I approached. When she looked up we made eye contact. Then I starting talking with her and we had a pleasant conversation. Then I before I left I told her I was sorry about her friend (if I upset her or made her uncomfortable). She told me something to the effect of not to worry about it. I told her it was nice to meet her. She smiled and told me basically the same thing I think. I picked the more attractive one (to me) of the two to approach but in hindsight I clearly would have done better with her friend. I didn't ask her for her number though or give her mine because of everything that had happened with her friend. I thought it would have been weird to ask, or even weirder if we had hooked up or started seeing each other. Although, now (with my current mindset) I don't think I would care. I never saw either of then again after that. I'm not sure how many lessons I can take away from those interactions. I'm sure there are plenty. I'm not as needy now but still have serious issues approaching females I find attractive (which is another story). I'm watching all of these videos now though. I'm a very analytical person. I like steps, flow charts, diagrams, back up plans, and logical action plans. These videos are the only ones I've seen on this platform, or anywhere else for that matter, like this. I've tried dating apps but I think they're all garbage. The best and only way that makes sense to me is to learn to interact well with my females in real life then get on the spot results. Hopefully I get to that point again soon.

[@Viizonary]

Ngl I can’t believe I read all of that

[@sharonlima8913]

I read all of that too

[@erich6096]

Sorry, didn't plan on making a long rambling post. I just started to explain what happened and that's how it turned out once I was done typing. Problem is the more you explain the longer it gets, the less you explain the less clear the picture is of what actually happened. My thinking at the time was, if I left in all the details it would be easy to have a complete understanding of what happened. I suppose instead typing all that I could have just said.... I've struggled with cold approach off and on over the years. I cold approached an attractive girl on a train years ago who wouldn't stop talking to her friend, handed her my number on my way out, starting texting with her that night. Tried to get too serious too fast over text. Got shut down, then ghosted. Crossed paths with her a few more times afterward, which became awkward. Then ran into her decently attractive friend out by herself a while later. Who always smiled when she saw me and turned out to be nice and easy to talk to. I realized then I should have just tried for her from the start, but didn't by then because I thought it would have seemed weird or inappropriate. Does that still explain it all just as well without leaving out relevant details? If so, I'll just post that instead. Or I could have just said... I struggle with cold approach. I gave my number to a girl I thought was attractive, tried to get too serious with her too fast. She ghosted me, crossing paths with her became awkward, then I realized I had a better chance with her friend but by then it was probably already too late. Or even.. Cold approach is hard. I texted this chick once, F' d it up, should have just went for her friend. Or just simply... I F'd up

[@ThibDelv]

@@erich6096 dude stop losing your time writing that much for people online .. no wonder you are needy

[@MarkyV-oe5pn]

Keeping it light and fun is key. Their mind is like that of a child. They dont have the capacity to be logical like a man. Tbeir brains are wirred differently. Just like a child will get bored easily. Arthur Shopenhauer has said that their mind is child like.

[@DanteLikesRock]

Ahhh... giving us blueballs at the end😂

[@SnowyLeopardFrom1997]

lol there's a reason why sometimes I take HOURS to respond to women, and it's NOT because I'm playing hard to get...

[@SendU2Jesus]

Natural selection is going to evolve us into the most amazing texters

[@GCOUNDOU]

she is just crumbing him... throwing little crumbs at him to keep him around as she continues with her bf or other dates. Big red flag. Then he said somethings that are a little pushing the envelope (causing tension as he should) and she blew a drama gasket. I think he dodged a bullet.

[@beaubiden3244]

Writing I got improv is what ruined it for him.

[@mr.plaguedoc9284]

Lmao

[@dedeborya9015]

text 1 - dancing coffee cup gif text 2 - 2 days later - my cup of coffee in that is in my schedule text 3 - 2 days later - me doing karaoke singing about coffee (yes, I got those riffs) text 4 - day of empty coffee cup - see you and coffee today. done.

[@iunnor]

My worry with going down the rabbit hole and getting this technical like this guy did is what if she’s not that interested in what she’s doing and she puts her phone down. Would she actually comeback later, pick the phone back up and be interested enough to respond?

[@smarch3912]

After VGA and the system which were amazing Todd should release an extensive text game product. And also a relationships focused product. I thinks those 2 are my struggling areas.

[@MistaHolism]

Extensive online game alghoritms research product😃

[@thegiovee]

The main reason guys who learn game struggle with relationships is because while they are learning game, all they are learning is scripts or one night stands. So they don’t know how to maintain a relationship after the first smash because they just don’t know what to do

[@By.daniieel]

@@thegiovee as a side effect they also learn what women are in reality which in many cases makes them disgusted and only searching ons because in the end that's where women show their true colors You haven't seen how women really are if you haven't had a good amount of ons with single as well as with taken women Then you're probably not going to go back to your "relationships" Most players aren't single because girls "flake" them but because they don't want them That's why most good dating coaches are single or in open relationships

[@smarch3912]

For me I think it’s more about getting addicted to the variety and excitement of having one night stand with new chicks. I’m actually in a serious relationship since a couple of months ago and damn it’s tempting to have a hook up with a random girl sometimes. And it’s not like I’m just having a normal relationship just to proof that I can. I actually logically thought about it and decided that was the best for my life. Being from hook up to hook up is no different than any other pleasure seeking/hedonic activity you can have like go partying and drinking every day or even doing drugs. By the end of the day you are in worse shape than at the beginning. And I decided I want to be better everyday. Not like I’m against game or anything, it’s actually the best thing that has happened to me. But after a while you don’t really have to keep doing once you’ve already got all the chicks you wanted and it starts having diminishing returns.

[@CorneliusMagnus]

@@By.daniieel what you are talking about ("girls showing true colours") is not saying anything about women in general but about the quality of women who some hypothetical pua is able to pick-up for ons. And no, I don't meen that game doesn't work on high quality women. Game work on all women, but someone who is scoring goals on a play around saturday evening with friends is not going to necessarily score goals on a champions league match.

[@adamkuc9440]

one of the best feeling is the world is when after the interaction girl just answers asap, you propose when and where you meet, the confirms or proposes other thing (but asap not next week) and boom. you meet face to face. I feel they just give our numbers like candies too feel validated, not to actually MEET. even if they say so.

[@aendraes5135]

One thing I’ve found out is that the mistake is usually texting itself. Call them. Talk for a bit, women like talking. Just find out if you want to actually spend any time with the woman, then ask if it’s fine to continue the conversation on the phone. Usually she’ll say yes and you will both be way more comfortable for the First date(which you ask for on the phone, they can’t be as flaky there.) than if you had only written.

[@Asbjoern]

I mainly get the date day, say I'll text her a day or 2 before. No way for me to fuck up, she might loose interest, but for most girls it's unusual and they actually get happy with the text 5 days later. Most have said to me that they assumed I wouldn't call (still kept the date in their calender)

[@grumblesa10]

Doing something "wrong" is EXACTLY what is WRONG with the pseudo-science of "date coaching". Men are humans for Chrissake; we make mistakes; and bullshit passive-male-shaming is the LAST thing men in today's society need. We also do not: think like women, act like women or communicate like women. So it is HIGHLY arrogant for women to automatically assume something is "wrong" with us, because we don't text "properly". If a woman doesn't like my texting-well it wasn't going to work out anyway.

[@noahwallace3458]

Bro should have changed the subject of who the hell wants to talk about their paper while they’re not doing it

[@guillervz]

This happened to me many times hahaha the thing is, sometimes you are just joking around, you lower your guard for a minute and you said something stupid. It happened to me a few weeks ago, with a very beautiful girl. Sometimes it's better to keep it quiet, especially if you haven't been introduced to the other person's sense of humor yet.

[@timmusgrove91]

I have a very serious question for this community. The implied idea in game is that you will be meeting a lot of random women. How can you avoid women hurting you physically, maybe getting jealous or obsessed or maybe you mess up after bringing her to your house, now she tells someone your address and her friend comes over to hurt you? (btw I'm implying YOU basically do everything right, normal). Or maybe she finds out you sleep with a lot of girls and doesn't like that?

[@lint8391]

It's a risk you have to take. Normally you can tell the psycho types. But not always. It is rare for women to go full nasty. Outside of divorce scenarios. You won't be liked by all the people all the time. But you will be liked by some people enough of the time. Which is good enough. I can't agree with the mindset where you go through life afraid of what might happen to the point where you get frozen into inaction. Life will have ups and downs. Today's bad incident is next year's amusing anecdote.

[@Recon9952]

(I know it's been a year since u asked but anyway here is the answer) who said that you gonna invite her to your house at the first date ? take her somewhere else at the first date , build trust , and only then you can invite her to ur house

[@Dee-gf6ir]

Why only a guy has to do so much to get a girl. First he has to approach a girl which takes lot of courage then he has to text her to convince her for a date. That to it all depends how good was the texting game. You never know one silly mistake and all back to zero. Guys have career pressure, has to earn good money. So much pressure on us girls won’t understand cause they are always pampered and get everything very easily on a plate. Unfair for us

[@Georgious]

You can definitely show value over text once you get the number, you can flirt, evoke emotions. If she sees you as enough high value she will initiate. If she doesn't, or forgot that you are. You can send texts or short fun videos or snaps or social media to give her a feel of what you are like. To get her to 'emotionally' remember you and how you made her feel. To see you as high value. Then she will want to feel that again. And be less likely to flake. "All this texting as little as possible or it will fade out stuff" is old school before smartphone texting game and it is either outdated or incomplete in todays dating market. It is a substitute for not being able to demonstrate high value and evoke emotion through text and social media. The guy in the video fucked up because he immediately went for plans! Make her feel something. Then go for plans. Then make her feel something again. Then leave her on read or let her text first and invest a little bit. Then make her feel something again. Then confirm plans. Then if she still gives of the vibe she might flake, make her feel something before meeting up. Then she will likely respond with a confirmation of plans that day. If you can't get her to follow one of these steps during this simple pattern than move on, and work on demonstrating high value and evoking emotion with the next girl. Again to reiterate: Going directly for plans or texting as little as possible is a form off, and can be a substitute for: demonstrating high value, and evoking emotion through text and social media. Therefor it does/can work. But ask yourself what high value emotion evoking texting/snap/SM really is or can be? It's getting nudes, having her text first and continue last nights convo about how she will fulfill your sexual expressed fantasy. So who is she gonna meet up with? You with your very dry texting little as possible, make plans or die attitude? Or a guy like me?

[@George-Chris]

can't agree more, it's what worked wonders for me too. Sexting, flirting, teasing and having fun for you and the girl makes life better for both of you. Nowadays most young girls won't even go on a date with you unless you have social status, or some form of high value that's not conveyed through your talking. Though in cases we fuck up with a bad joke over text as the example in Todd's video, what do we do?

[@Georgious]

@@George-Chris the idea is not to try to fix mistakes made. But to recognize them and learn from them, so you wont repeat them with the next girl. Make less mistakes with each new girl. Untill one day you meet a girl and do everything correct from the first moment to the last. Now this is your new level. Now go and do that with a 9 or 10. Your going to make mistakes again, just because they're so hot or you're so into them. The cycle begins a new.

[@corpgov]

Man, this dude is engaging in a full blown conversation on text with a girl he's barely met. I never do that. Dates are for that. Texting is for flirting and logistics only. If there's time to kill till the date, just send a few flirty texts every day or so

[@vinbremer]

Todd, you're very kind to the guy. Maybe it's because I am into literature, but if a girl had texted me what he did, I'd have thought she's a fucking doughnut.

[@DodgeDak02]

Dating is hard….

[@SPACEDOUT19]

no it aint...if she is attracted to you its not at all

[@highaltitude787]

I just get to the point with texts if she can’t handle my straight forward approach displaying my interest and setting a date then i move on I don’t ask more than once maximum 2.

[@steveblackbird]

She made it difficult for the meet up. Sugar coated "Not really interested" and Fair enough. If you can't spare an hour for a coffee and a chat then sorry.. They aren't interested. I'd have ghosted after making me wait over a week. She sounds like someone that would be offended if you said anything that doesn't match her narrative.

[@tevinwow]

Let’s go Todd!!!

[@medman6649]

Sylvia Plath is a genius writer and this guy outed himself as a douche.

[@suntofoca6073]

Loved the video, as always! I would be interested on some book recomendations from you, not regarding game, but life in general (the must read books)

[@noahwallace3458]

That’s why it’s valuable to get good at hot and cold so that way when you poke the bear too much, you know how to scratch the bear back to being calm

[@benjaminthomas7164]

He clearly dodged a bullet. A woman that would resist , push back and nit appreciate a mans effort. At this stage I woukd have just bowed out of the conversation unless I just wanted her as a plate.

[@Secylicious]

I was trying to sleep at 2AM.. but it’s 6:49AM now.. been binging’ this shit.

[@redbeardthepink4809]

Not-so-fun fact: some time ago, sticking one's head in an oven was a pretty common way to sign off because it was easy and relatively painless to just blow out your pilot light and get poisoned by the gas. I think they even outlawed a certain oven design that was particularly easy to do this with, and the rates came down as a result.

[@fvpando]

Is it just me or the uploaded video is in complete? YT is showing a 15:44 long video, while the outline in the description show this is closer to 20 minutes

[@LOGOASSASSIN]

What a CRAZY conversation to have via txt. School boy error, I guess very common if you're young and use txt all the time. It's just a tool to fill the odd gap and swap details of dates. Nothing more. Most communication is in person and in audible voice.

[@777doom]

Mistake 1: Picking someone without a sense of humour

[@happymiro]

You're so right. I feel the same way 👌

[@isaiahcampbell9248]

So, great partial break down of this example. Really good insights. My question is what principles can be taken from this to applied in general? I think you mention about limiting the number of messages, limit the length of the messages and you seem to imply one should stay within what they know (as with his texts about literature and the author) Are there any other principles you are happy to share here?

[@luisd8818]

Good choices and also I’d take into account the way she reacts to my texts. Is her tone flirty, funny, serious, indifferent? They way she wrote back getting basically all “insulted” about some dead authors was a red flag for me. Hopefully the guy dodged that bullet IMO.

[@rishidaryanani5098]

Match the energy, effort and investment that the girl gives you. If she's telling you she's free in a week. Don't bother texting her long paragraphs every day. Text her back a few days later. Don't have conversations over texts too. I would have prefered to speak to this girl about literature in person on our date. Not virtually through text.

[@Narusasu98]

What an example. Thanks for the laughs!

[@MongoSolo]

use texts to set up dates and a few short messages to spark interest. thats it.

[@SuperFilipman]

The girl is definitely overreacting, having said that though- great points.

[@Annarbormich]

Most girls don’t care if they have the same taste as you. You have to be attractive to her and keep her in a fantasy zone by not telling her about you.

[@MalindoWe]

Stopped when the video reached the most important part of this break-down

[@pazgabriel]

not only he wrote giant messages, but he got extremely, super, dooper, hyper logical! I think THAT was the worse

[@bobdroll6381]

If only. Instead, he came off as uneducated and insensitive.

[@splendidfalafel8987]

lol

[@hristosv1]

The dude dodged a bullet. That's a good iteraction. This girl is probably crazy.

[@bobdroll6381]

Nah.

[@turdferguson2961]

It seems obvious that the guy was just Google info about those authors and regurgitating it.

[@heimstaden4588]

Never ever argue with a new girl you wanna smash and just met about her life choises. Cuz who da fuk are you to question them? She just met you.

[@tommyboxeo6632]

I can't even apply these golden rules if I can't get the number to begin with, lol

[@muhammaduqbahahmadtermizi1252]

Short paragraph mostly didn't apply to a girl who enjoyed literature. Dude, major in long paragraphs, and his wife enjoys his exclusive stories. She literally married him for that.

[@hammads9045]

5:41 I'm exactly in this position. I hate it tbh, I feel like I'm not valued by her. We do go out once a week, but the texting suks and I know she's doing more in her life- friends, work, studies, family, gym and fitness, out on solo hikes. And ik her Instagram is packed with things, but she's not adding me. She shows me her ig now and then- that's how I know. I feel like there's more time than a few texts at night for her. And she replies super slow. She does chase at times when I don't reply, and we do go out.. I'm going to say she's making space and figuring things out. She likes me but idk. She can like me but she needs to give me more value

[@davidfuturissimo467]

tell her - even tho she's amazing u're looking for a woman that's more into you than her and just dump her - ,, be my soul sister". enjoy the identity upgrade, that dumping a girl u like will bring u ;) and just use the boss vibes on a better bitch. Yes u might like her now but ultimately the greatest hope and happiness in life will be - falling in love with who you are. So don't be no one's bitch. Don't step on your own real wishes and conditions for some easier but much worse ones. Eventually reality will honour them.

[@hammads9045]

@@davidfuturissimo467 I was thinking I'd stop the messaging for a while. Give it space for like a week or so. Make another date, see what happens, then dump her if it still comes off shit. Just the one more time. Like Todd says, texting is only a small part of the communication and talking via chat sucks for 2 people who don't share the same language well

[@bobdroll6381]

I don't think she likes you.

[@oranjjjggg]

Once she said she didn’t want to hang out until 8 days later it was over.

[@cxa011500]

I feel so far from being able to use any of this.

[@nicolassalazar457]

At the part where he said "sure i get it study over boys what's the text about" I would've said "totally fine. Haha I also take pride in leaving everything for the last minute" what do u guys think??

[@YumiSumire]

that's a closed statement. she is more than likely gonna leave you on read.

[@zapoteck6166]

Great content Todd!

[@zakiyajohnson4104]

Dude way to much blue text. He just needs to get her in person and quit pussing behind text messages it’s killing the attraction

[@matthewweng8483]

at 12:09, I felt like I was watching as his Titanic plowed into the tip of her literary iceberg...

[@aiLoveE]

actually no point in texting so much ... just tell her to get back to u when she has free time. and think to yourself, if she doesn't it's her loss!

[@StuartOden]

meanwhile my texts are like: hey what’s up haha lol omg 😆

[@neilazeez101]

The Toddfather 🐐

[@Timefades1]

Such a cringe reply good lord @5:50 big fail

[@Sonu666]

just stop showing her importance midway..be nice at first..then shut her off completely so she’s in a puzzle. This is the trick you need to learn on what to say and do. This will only be learnt once you start talking to strangers in a coffee shop. There isn’t any other place…they just sit with their iPads and Laptops doing what!? Its nothing important. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. Have that faith within yourself but just don’t tell her/them and YOU ARE THE PRIZE. You need to plant this thought in their head without force and in a playful, calming manner. This is what all Playboys do. Remember YOU ARE THE PRIZE fella NEVER her.