TF2 - Miss Pauling Rare Contract Voice Lines

[@Knuxfan24]

"I need someone who can read, you're my only hope" Beautiful.

[@zacharyterry7748]

Knuxfan24 Heavy has a PHD in Russian literature

[@mrkitty1997]

Zachary Terry Read English,I presume :p Makes sense.

[@dqw4w9wgxcq71]

XD

[@bernardcrawley8863]

I'm a boy but thx

[@PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth]

THE TEAM'S READING COMPREHENSION FROM WORST TO BEST Scout - Can't read at all. Books are for nerds. Pyro - Actively burns books, and interprets all written signs as "MMMF" Soldier - Can barely read with a lot of concentration. Unless it's presented in incredibly complicated military jargon, in which case he understands it perfectly. Heavy - Has a PHD in Russian Literature, but reads English about as well as he speaks it. Sniper - Has a grade 3 reading level, and hasn't bothered to open a book in decades. Demoman - Can read relatively well, but only when he can see straight. Also the last time he opened a book, it stole his eyeball. Medic - A solid grasp of written English, especially its medical terms. Tends to ignore most written instructions, especially the warning labels. Spy - Reads classic French and English literature in his smoking room, but tends to skim mission briefings. Engineer - Has a fantastic grasp of written English, fully reads the instructions and follows them to the letter.

[@baronturtle1621]

"Demo it's your liver, no it's Pauling if I were your liver I'd just be screaming" Jesus Christ Ms.Pauling, no need to make it personal

[@nataliaborys1554]

If they're savage she might as well join in. I mean "Here lies Scout. He ran fast and died a virgin." - Spy

[@ShadowsWrath4]

Remember, Demo's Scottish. The men who live there literally eat pain for breakfast and wash it down with something that would kill a normal person. And the women are even _tougher._ And they _REVEL_ in it.

[@cookies5817]

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

[@demoman5844]

I know I right

[@darthmaul7434]

How about Spy's lungs?

[@dylannouri2]

"Scout, Pauling, I need something done fast, I thought of you." I guess he doesn't last very long

[@tvgaming2132]

Oof

[@ManofSex69]

Perfect since she hardly has any free time on her hands

[@thelegacyshow4248]

Oooooof

[@gamergrill4933]

They never went on a date or something, she has no time, not even to bang him for 5 minutes, also she's probobly gay

[@thelegacyshow4248]

@@ManofSex69 oooooooooh shit, you right.

[@Chritin]

2:24 *Pyro confused on why Mrs. Pauling just said she’s gonna hide explosives in burgers and give them to children.*

[@Candelitarex23]

hmhmhmhmh mh hmhhmhhmhm mmhmhmh hmhmhmhmhmh mhh (i think i gotta wash my ears, i heard from her that she wants to save the soviet union)

[@cookies5817]

@@Candelitarex23 POOTIS is angry

[@markbv591]

Yeah, he probably wants to do it instead.

[@davidsoucia7510]

But that’s my job!

[@Tom-pf9hg]

I actually got that message

[@ConvoBreaker]

The pyro lines are so cute.

[@megalcro]

Pyro itself is adorable.

[@PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth]

MegaLCRO | Remember that time it blew a hole through a man's chest, and we watched it frolic away from between his broken ribs and shattered spine? Yeah, that was so precious.

[@Candelitarex23]

mhmh... (eehh...)

[@sninctbur3726]

She’s terrified of Pyro, and that’s why she acts so friendly.

[@ImTomfoolery]

2:15

[@kaitlynrichards97]

"Hey Sniper, you're a kiwi now." GOD DAME!

[@Professional_Dumbass]

NO I DONT WANNA BE A KIWI NO NO AAAAAAAAAAA

[@Che_Yo]

@@Professional_Dumbass disappears*

[@bigboycreams4769]

Worst fate imaginable

[@kiwigaming09]

@@bigboycreams4769 we're not that bad.,............. We do have a Lazer kiwi

[@snivy6393]

Ashley Burch did such a good job on these voice lines The sarcasm fits so well

[@matthew108]

I wish i would met her

[@KE-yq2eg]

Why is she everywhere?

[@Snaki1-m4r]

@@KE-yq2eg she is one of the best

[@NecromancerBree]

fucking ASHLEY BURCH??? This might be like... the only role I adore her performance in, which is rare for voice actors outside of troy baker because fuck that guy

[@mlodylube]

I knew she sounded like Tiny Tina. Now that makes sense!

[@Small_child_punter]

I love miss Pauling. She’s refreshing because she talks like a person and not a lead poisoned killer.

[@ottovonbearsmark8876]

She just calmly talks like a psychopath about disposing of 80 corpses, or that time she casually murdered a guy while on the phone with scout.

[@Manhackarcadeisfun]

@@ottovonbearsmark8876 I see no problems i do worse things tho get exotic animal organs everyday tho heal the team.

[@Manhackarcadeisfun]

Its how you "respawn" i find you and put the blood back in.

[@terryliliana]

Everyone in TF2 is a psychopath to a degree... Or a sociopath... Or just plain stupid, or has brain damage thanks to lead poisoning, radiation, mental and/or physical trauma, etc.

[@EliteCameraBuddy]

the only normal class is pyro

[@weegee42069]

Ms.Pauling with everyone: 🗿 Ms.Pauling with pyro: 🤗

[@seescethegreat]

1. Miss Pauling being offensive to Demoman being a cyclops 2. Miss Pauling was both a scolding mother and uncomfortable friend around Scout 3. Miss Pauling playing into Soldier's delusions. 4. Miss Pauling to Engineer: "Hey smart guy" 5. Miss Pauling to Spy: "Hey, I'm French." 6. Miss Pauling patronizing Pyro, a literal maniac.

[@barrysteakfriessimp_real]

Miss Pauling talking to Pyro so sweetly is adorable, just like Pyro themself

[@barrysteakfriessimp_real]

*hOWDY PARTNer im so sorry for that-*

[@pyromaniac5856]

Hmhphm mhhphm mhphhm mhhphm

[@Gratisars]

Mmph! [ SPY!]

[@logitchy]

YOU ARE EVERYWHERE STOP

[@logitchy]

@Soldier [TF2] same

[@D1gi4rs]

Miss Pauling with every mercenary: funny and focused Miss Pauling with Scout: *ROASTING MODE ACTIVATED*

[@blastfoster6968]

"Dna test" Yep. Spy is scout's dad. No arguments.

[@p.taylor981]

Blast Foster The comics already confirmed that in January

[@IndianaBones027]

@@p.taylor981 as well as "Meet the Spy."

[@UGLYGEFRO]

But he is not the biological dad

[@forkays]

That’s a funny way of spelling Tom Jones

[@JustAHat]

@@UGLYGEFRO yes....yes he is

[@hectortheforgetful103]

"Scout, it's Pauling, I assume you're talking right now, please stop" Damn straight to the point

[@ganibattlebeard]

She has 6 senses The sense of humor is her sixth one

[@spriteanime]

GaniBattleBear boo

[@LucyWest370]

I think she lost that one like daredevil

[@blastfoster6968]

I love how she treats pyro as if he's like a innocent preschooler or something, taking into account he murders people with fire.

[@breadcat7332]

I mean taking into account the fact that his mask makes him see whatever he sees it kinda makes sense that his maturity is comparable to a toddler

[@CrimsonDemon0]

I mean pyro has some kind of mental disorder and somebody decided to give him a flamethrower to take advantage of that

[@picklewednesday]

I mean they're not exactly aware of what they're doing. without fire they just see the world as grey, dull boxes so yk

[@diamondchestplate4456]

Awww, it's so cute that Ms. Pauling acts like pyro is a little kid

[@gabriel6195]

ys

[@DKOIsoul]

Have you seen pyro vision? XD

[@rdzpyrex1086]

diamondchestplate445 that's the point. Pyro's considerably childlike unless smne insults fire.

[@hatz1107]

diamondchestplate445 Plot twist, Pyro is actually 3 kids in a costume

[@kiroakimada2775]

HATZ Rulez I get the job sim reference.

[@peasmehasselberg975]

2:24 What we hear: "Mmmmph mm mmmph" What Pyro hears: "My hovercraft is full of eels"

[@Sumschmuck]

As a pyro main, I can easily say that the translation is much more antisemitic

[@GreatWesternSFM]

you heard that? I translated it as "There's a RED Base in our SPY!"

[@lolowub]

Bonjour, spy! It iz I, Francis ze talking France! I have ze job for you yes? Oui? Baguette?"

[@buttstuff2353]

+Loloweb She puts Soldier too shame with that one.

[@thedreamteam9832]

Loloweb I remember it first came from the old blog posts...

[@moodymoosh]

Baguette

[@soupcanpyro9421]

Baguette

[@Professional_Dumbass]

Directed by Robert B. Weide

[@gwyn1076]

2:14 as a pyro main i love her voice lines

[@Ben7892]

Same

[@BrianKim-ij6gh]

Trash pyro mains

[@justfriccoff3363]

No skill

[@aoni8254]

@@justfriccoff3363 true but also nobody asked

[@justfriccoff3363]

@@aoni8254 cope no skill

[@jackmiller1032]

"Scout, wrap up whatever you're bragging about. I have a job for you." thw ay she takls to scout jesus christ

[@shinydewott]

I want full detail explanation on what " thw ay she takls to scout jesus christ" is

[@zeniththetoaster9712]

@@shinydewott he was typing like scout, fast and crappy

[@nataliaborys1554]

2:08 - you would be surprised how often that's not the case

[@duke4726]

"MEDIC!" atte- that one scout with 124 of life

[@littlebigb5370]

@@duke4726 -My paranoid self playing Heavy at 299 HP

[@mellow_mallow]

I'm a new medic main, I've just started playing TF2. I really enjoy it but there's definitely a number of players who treat the medic command almost like a catcall

[@yuiokino]

As a Pyro main, her lines are just downright ADORABLE! :3

[@emiliomendez4961]

yuiokino It's as if she's speaking to a puppy!

[@evanmoore9938]

Yep

[@carnoyoutubeman]

yuiokino IKR PYRO MAINS FOR EVAH!!!!!

[@lolajudy1221]

Yeh, I thought so too, because I'm a pyro main

[@bernardcrawley8863]

As a mei main and a mei zing

[@Faapu]

Not gonna lie, I haven't played TF2 in 2 years or so and I have no idea what a contract is in the context of this game, but these lines are a fun time.

[@newsuperstevebros]

Hell, I haven't played in two months and I don't get most of this.

[@ShinjiIkari459]

newsuperstevebros I played today and don't know what this is.

[@Legout34]

King Harkinian Basically .. The "contracts" are a cs:go like operation thingy. Because yeah, they did an update like cs:go, they added .. Uuhh .. Weapon skins ... ? THE UPDATE IS GOOD, OKAY !

[@ShinjiIkari459]

how do you play this new mode? i've checked out the new maps but they're all like, payload race.

[@Legout34]

Shinji Ikari Never heard of the counter strike operations ? Basically, in counter strike global offensive, they add an update with a temporary event, which basically has temporary map ( unlike tf2 ) new weapons ( which are permanent ) and an operation which you can buy, in order to get assigned to in game mission (ie, personnal objeectives, like killing a certain target, playing with a certain weapon or a certain map, ect) and that grants you with rewards upon completion. They basically did exactly the same in TF2. You have to buy the contract campaign to be able to have contracts. And yes, the fact that this update cs:go-ified tf2 has been VERY controversial. So don't bother saying "this update looks like shit !" Go see by yourself and make yourself an opinion.

[@jusioa]

Are you peeing in a jar right now?

[@derpnz]

jusioa *trinkle trinkle*

[@nolongeraround-m6z]

Yes.

[@CrackHardy]

bumbum Read this when I heard it x3

[@paulol7224]

Always 😉

[@metallord6960]

JARATE

[@PixelsBlocksAndTNT]

I like how she talked to Pyro all sweet because he has the mind of a little kid xD

[@Kicktugo55]

It's paluing, THE miss pauling.

[@ComputerDude2600]

Kicktugo55 "paluing"

[@Kicktugo55]

ComputerDude2600 Miss paluing, yes.

[@medlockjodengrad6231]

Computer dude hahaha it's Pauling lol nah jk lol

[@ileryon4019]

Miss Paluing

[@SiIIy_]

ComputerDude2600 Pauling*

[@SasnarDash]

"Hey spy! oh right. you're probably sneaking up on somebody. to stab them. oh I bet you're about to do it too. They can't, hear me, can they? Do you have video on this thing?" That made me laugh.

[@BlazingShadowSword]

Oh God. Ms. Pauling is into snuff.

[@BlueShellshock]

@@BlazingShadowSword No, she just likes to watch.

[@primedtime783]

"Demoman? It's Pauling I've got work I, Demoman? That sounds weird does anyone actually call you that?" Brilliant. That is all

[@derpnz]

"Scout, I need you" LMAOOOO

[@jessedotson5751]

So your a kiwi now?

[@derpnz]

Jesse Dotson I am

[@jessedotson5751]

Good.

[@twigwigsoso]

Dude she’s a lesbian

[@RoyXL64]

@@twigwigsoso bruh no

[@JaneGirlGamer]

2:24 *Pyro is curious why Pauling called his mom Fat in 8 different ways and dropped the N bomb*

[@ImTiredOfWalking]

Real

[@joaquinarrativesisterna729]

I love how miss Pauling tries to get into the personality of every mercenary, sometimes being socially awkward or very hilarious My favorite lines are when she talks to soldier xD it's just too much 3:17

[@assassinofred6023]

Its really awesome how she has both her sarcasm AND how she knows exactly how to handle the mercs in these lines,seriously its awesome :D.

[@Heidegaff]

1:03 She's so pure.

[@LowIntSpecimen]

"You got anything in your warehouse that can liquify about...eighty bodies?" *p u r e*

[@nataliaborys1554]

"Sniper--... What's that sound? Are... are you peeing into a jar right now?" Perfect. Perfect, I say

[@rubberhosetheprotogen7062]

2:14 I imagine pyro just nods then massicares 1000000 men

[@echoecho2666]

It's nice to see spy did the DNA test to see if he actually was the father of scout even though he hates his guts

[@NikolasoGames]

Pauling: "Spy, just between you and me, you should really wash that ski-mask, like once. There's visible stink lines coming off that thing." Lmao

[@ckinggaming5bucketmadness766]

**flashback to scout’s drawings**

[@gulpin768]

“Thats why the car hit him, cause he stinks”

[@scruffsnugg736]

for someone who only has one day-off a year she's actually have great humour and a little calm

[@spitrio]

Miss Pauling is Bae

[@Regular--8]

Spykerhyk i know right!

[@MrZeroArtemis]

spitrio git btter taset feeget

[@medlockjodengrad6231]

U commented on the other miss Pauling voice

[@spitrio]

Jomel Poquiz **gasps** Stalker! XD

[@bryanzacamolpa8544]

+MxMCube shut up

[@shiruotakuno28]

2:14 The Pyro lines are sweet, the way she talks to him like a little kid is so adorable!!

[@tadtacosinc]

She asks him like she wants him to go grab her a drink from the fridge

[@exxelsetijadi5348]

3:44 when you try to speak france but remember you can't

[@LukiKruki]

2:00 - MEDIC! Epic :D

[@Iampeeb]

"Sniper, Pauling...What's That Sound? Are Y-Are You Peeing In A Jar Right Now?"

[@Densester]

wait miss pauling talks to pyro like hes a kid and he sees fire as pretty colours little kids usually think fire is pretty...and usually dont know they can hurt themselves with it... VALVE FUCKING THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING

[@jacklucas5908]

I'm slow, what does this mean exactly? A you suggesting that Pyro is meant to be a child?

[@Densester]

Jack Lucas no, its like he has the mind of one

[@jacklucas5908]

Cinos the Dense potato Ok, thanks.

[@lmario125]

I need these as ringtones xD

[@nataliaborys1554]

L Mario Imagine that someone calls you on the phone and everyone around you hears "Sniper, I-- What's that sound? Are... are you peeing into a jar right now?" XD

[@Zoeythedirewolf]

Same

[@Aliendrone121]

love how she acts sweet when she calls pyro

[@kR-qj7rw]

2:00 Heaby being bullied is cannon now

[@cupasaza495]

2:20 I got this voice line just today and I audibly went "...yeah."

[@RandommBoyo]

'Demoman its Pauling, I got work. I- demoman? That sounds weird, has anyone called you that? Lets go back to demo' Everyone when they say demoman instead of demo.

[@hyenaholicproductions9033]

It's interesting that unlike the others (at the time of Meet The Pyro, anyway), Pauling knows that Pyro is a (Wo)Man Child. In their backstory, Valve seems to be going down the route of saying that these guys do these jobs not because they're the best but because they are too crazy/desperate to turn them down.

[@windwind3170]

I wouldn't call Engie, Spy and Snoipah desperate or crazy.

[@mellowbread9735]

sniper is pretty crazy

[@bigiron4387]

Sniper seems to be Crazy,Spy seems to be just there for money or something and Engie probably is just there to work for the Administrator because his father was involved with the life extending machines built for Redmond And Blutarch

[@paulol7224]

Tbh, pyro's pretty sane to me

[@bugdracula1662]

@@windwind3170 engie has so much hubris tho

[@jennytulls6369]

"MEDIC! That was just an impression, in bas taste now that I think about it, I guess the people that scream that are usually... y'know, dying." That, or a Scout at 124 HP

[@carlos56683]

just realised spy's DNA test was for scout blood to see if he was the father.... and he is...

[@Rawen1982]

"if I was your liver I'd just be screaming" I did a freaking spit take on that one.

[@stellardee1334]

2:48 basically when she's talking to me

[@lord2pizzaplayz486]

I love the way miss Pauling talks to pyro as if he's like 8

[@gabes1733]

"Alpha. Romeo. Zero-Dark-Army Words"

[@scoutpilgrim5320]

Why does it sound so adorable when she talks to Pyro and i think this username is growing on me because when she gets to the Scout lines I feel like she's talking to me

[@IndianaBones027]

Can I ask a question? Why is your profile picture so cute?

[@Cocaine_Santa]

4 years later and I have the same question as the guy above me. Why is your profile so cute?

[@riley.365]

Okay, we already have the Miss Pauling "MEDIC!" line, now we just need more to make her the tenth class... also when she talks to Pyro she is adorable.

[@shabpieczony]

Never noticed how good both the actress and the writing for Pauling was.

[@inozuma7459]

I love how personal Mrs Pauling makes her announcements. I love it so much though, she’s an icon.

[@Rena152]

I love how she tries to appeal to each one

[@regansballs]

Gotta get them to listen somehow

[@pyrarius1598]

Favorite one is when she's having moped troubles and talked to Engie first before a professional car mechanic. Really shows the trust they built (Also, he probably does have something along the lines of a disintegration machine, after all this is probably the same universe as Half Life and Portal so they have Emancipation Grills)

[@CJCroen1393]

"Demo, it's your liver. Nah just kidding, it's Ms. Pauling. If I were your liver I'd just be screaming." XD

[@Astral_Something]

My favorite part about this is that the lines actually reference the comics

[@Jerrarum]

"Heyyy pyroo. You wanna do a really big favor miss pauling?" Me: **rule 34 flashbacks**

[@cookies5817]

Wait wut

[@batcat4136]

@@cookies5817 you have not seen the things we have seen. Delved the dark depths of the internet. I envy you

[@YourLocalRaider]

@@batcat4136 Once you dive deep enough into the dark depths of the internet, you will get used to it and it will be considered as normal for you.

[@batcat4136]

@@YourLocalRaider you will see horrible things. Things that would ruin the days of other people, make the question humanity or consider quitting the internet all together. You will see these things and you will think “huh” and scroll on to the next

[@WeirdVerdeGamer]

Rules of the internet are not real:/

[@GDonPadlan]

Holy shit I have an even bigger cartoon crush on Pauling now.

[@johngancarcik5682]

it's cute how she talks to Pyro

[@tubbahubba]

miss pauling's friendship with pyro omg bless

[@XioniCoMuzixLegend]

Wow, I Love those pyros lines

[@RacingSnails64]

"I need something done fast. I thought of you." ...waaaaait wait wait a minute

[@zomnineo9931]

I love how Pauling talks to Pyro, it’s sooooo cute!

[@truedoffy]

The Pyro contract lines are adorable. :P

[@RumbleDelta]

Her lines for Pyro are so cute I love them :3

[@markimooo2866]

I love how she talks with pyro. It's precious

[@Crakinator]

There are SO MANY Easter Eggs and references to the comics and lore and I love it all.

[@transcendantviewer]

I always loved Ms. Pauling's voice. The voice actress seems like she's having a blast.

[@dlvdog]

Awww, I love the way she talks to the pyro.

[@Sumschmuck]

2:33 DAMN girl, not even medic can bring him back from that

[@littleman4925]

Even though she works 364 days of the year, she still isn't burned out from giving the mercs their jobs, respect.

[@gmand2307]

"hey scout, pauling. i need something done fast. i thought of you" Double entendres up the ass

[@ThePsychicPineapple]

All of the comic references are amazing!

[@The_Anomaly_Crusasder]

2:15 i got that while in tr walk away i was in a vc with a friend of mine when i heard it i was like huh never heard that voiceline before

[@crazymartin526]

2:24 Miss Pauling why did you had to insult pyros parents????

[@Issengan]

Poor demo. Since its canonical that he takes care of his mother with a good ammount of the money he makes from his work, and she treats him like shit, that one about her saying he needed another job makes ya feel bad for the guy

[@TonyMacaroniyt]

I love the Pyro ones!

[@ileryon4019]

Sniper?! Pauling, What's that sound; Are you- Are you peeing in a jar right now?

[@evanmoore9938]

Pyro line were so adorable

[@Emerald-Fluffie]

Pauling to scout: “I thought of you” Scout: already out the door

[@Sumschmuck]

she said she needed something done fast before thinking of him, so it's easy to say that scout is very disappointing

[@Stoopid726]

“Engie, this job requires someone who can read. You’re my only hope” - Ms. Pauling

[@melonoggin9961]

I actually got the one about Demo's mother and because I heard it in the middle of a battle I just heard miss pauling yell your mother out of nowhere

[@g4ur1b0y]

I love Ms.Pauling so much she is so dorky and sarcastic :D❤❤❤

[@roxxie7592]

"Scout, it's Pauling. I'm assuming you're talking right now, please stop." lmfao savage

[@BoogedyBobby]

2:23 I got that pyro one a couple of days ago since i main him and rarely play anybody else.

[@RiotingSpectre]

Killing everyone and blowing up everything else. Awsome

[@skeleton_kiddo5544]

I love how she treats Pyro like a kid

[@WesTheHunter]

I remembered hearing Pauling's Voice every time I opened up the ConTracker... But never hear her anymore

[@downp0urr]

I like to think that Miss Pauling talks to Pyro like that because she knows he’s extremely childish and doesn’t want to upset him.

[@BonBon-od9zm]

Most likely to be the case😂

[@LucasDeroy]

As a French, hearing Pauling making her "best" impression of French People is just hilarious

[@Donutions]

Engine I need a smart person to do this....LMAO

[@crazycat_4013]

2:40 got me wheezing.