The #1 way to IMPROVE communication between men and women. You won't want to miss this one.

The #1 way to IMPROVE communication between men and women:
I was recently responding to comments on one of my TikToks and I had so many people asking about how to improve communication between men and women. I made this video to help answer exactly that. Because men and women communicate for different reasons. Even the purpose of the communication isn't always clear to each side. And when they miss the purpose, they're also going to miss the content.
If you want to boost the communication in your marriage, this video is a must-watch guide to how men and women think and communicate about problems and intimacy. If your relationship has been struggling from miscommunication, confusion, and misunderstanding, give this video a watch. You might not be a bad match, you may just be communicating wrong.
This video is part of an ongoing series about attachment.
Communication is key to a healthy relationship. If you can't communicate, you can't work together. And eventually, you may resent each other over misunderstandings that neither of you intended. With this guide, you can break through the wall between you and communicate better than ever before.
#attachment #adamlanesmith #attachmentspecialist #relationshipadvice #relationshipgoals
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[@SS-ly2bn]

Men listening here - this is one of the huge reasons my marriage to my husband was so wonderful. He listened to me talk. Every day. We had a great sex life bc I always felt so connected to him. Rest in peace, honey. I miss you.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Sorry to hear about your loss, but it sounds like you shared an incredible love together. What else did he do that grew the love between you?

[@cmaiaj]

❤

[@thomasswainston2821]

My condolences. Thanks for sharing that.

[@MatiasFeliciano1]

Best part about this advice? It can be applied to any kind of man/woman relationship dynamic. Thank you, Adam.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Exactly. Thanks for calling that out. 👍

[@TheMirpurazadkashmir]

Brilliant Adam! UK listener here... loving the consistently high level content.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Awesome, thanks for watching!

[@jamesrenslow9125]

That is the best explanation of communication I have ever heard.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Love to hear that! What does this change or you?

[@99strawberrie]

Wow. I feel like I understand my boyfriend so much better. Im going to start practicing this in my relationship. Great video, it was super informative and very positive!!

[@AttachmentAdam]

That’s awesome! What part was most surprising?

[@erikamiglioranza1559]

I just realised that I tend to act like a man and always immediately look for the solution, while my girlfriends/sister/mother might just need to talk and feel heard... Your videos are always so useful, I always click on them even if the topic doesn't look like it concerns me, at first glance. Turns out it does

[@AttachmentAdam]

Some women definitely use a more solution-focused approach. There can be a variety of reasons. In this case the exception proves the rule. Hope this one was useful for future communicating for you. 👍

[@erikamiglioranza1559]

@@AttachmentAdam very useful! Thank you so much!

[@verb0ze]

it's funny how often I've blundered this. I'm always down to listen, but unfortunately with an ear to solve some problem. This is really good to know, will keep this in mind going forward!

[@lynettejohnson9051]

Conversation on random topics is her searching for connection to her man. Strengthen the bond... looking for common ground... common goals.

[@AttachmentAdam]

That's a great perspective! Random conversations really do serve as a bridge to deeper understanding and emotional intimacy. Is this something you've tried with your partner?

[@karnnb9111]

I’m not currently in a relationship though both of my flat mates are women - when I first moved in one of them would talk to me about all kinds of things, though as time moved on those conversations became less frequent. I believe this is due to how I received them, not seeing them as a way for her to relate / bond but as petty problems I thought she wanted me to solve (somehow). After watching this and your other content I want to apply this mindset to my conversations with my flat mates, not only to become closer and connect with the people around me - but as a form of practice for when I do find a partner. Thanks for everything Adam! I really appreciate all your videos, Keep it up!

[@AttachmentAdam]

Sounds like a good idea. Could even watch this video with them and then ask if that’s what happened. Might be a great reset for the relationship if you both understand where it went wrong.

[@angelus_solus]

I'm a listener by default, unless I'm asked to help solve a problem. I think I was indirectly trained that way by my mother over the course of my life.

[@AttachmentAdam]

That sounds like good training.

[@MissingTheMark]

It does seem that sometimes what the woman is doing in that talking-about-her-day conversation is a sort of externalized processing, where the listener's role isn't really to pay attention, in the sense of being able to recall it later, but rather to help look for anything that she's missed; basically, to provide a sanity check. This seems a little bit different than bonding, in that she's actively thinking about the things herself as she tells them, but there's no desire that any of it be remembered at all. (Which is very different from when someone is giving you the background to a problem, where you will need to remember it in order to have a hope of solving the problem.)

[@AttachmentAdam]

Most women do also process externally in this way. And processing with someone conveys trust in that other party.

[@jaytrent62]

I kinda wish I’d watched this six hours ago, before I tried to jog through a minefield in my new, clumpy winter boots (so to speak). Nevertheless I’m so glad I’ve listened to it now. Adam, you are so damn concise, I really love that. Thanks for another winner vid.

[@AttachmentAdam]

The good news is you now have it for the rest of your life. 👍

[@soma_life]

I’m commenting just because you told me how to help the channel 😅

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your support!

[@Lunatic89097]

I'll keep this in mind when I speak to my cute flexologist.

[@mmeping]

"Have some pity on him" ❤

[@leaf5008]

Incredibly helpful to hear this! Not all heroes wear capes 🙏

[@AttachmentAdam]

Glad to hear this resonated! What are you going to use this information to change?

[@leaf5008]

@@AttachmentAdam yes, so 6yrs happily married, we met through sharing fitness in common, and I mention this because I feel we have always actively shared the characteristics to improve ourselves, BEFORE we got married. I realize how important that is now, more so, because now that we have purchased our first home and had our 1st child...stressful situations feel compounded. That gets me to my point, Communication is really taxed at the moment because as a contractor I trouble shoot and adapt all day and I come home doing the same thing and over about a year of poor communication it has damaged our patients towards one another. So the key point for me in your video was when you said something along the lines of "turn listening to the partners conversation into the act of the problem solving." I want to enjoy my marriage so I'm also recognizing my own efforts to get here and have your lesson reinforce my mindset of staying calm and adjusting my behavior for a better experience for both of us and that's really helpful and feels great because I immediately implemented this and had instant improvement.

[@JonDelArroz]

Great video brother!

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thanks bro!

[@momqabt]

Thanks for speaking to both sides. I will implement and advise for these criteria, and one day when I reveal what I've been learning and doing to have a family together she will forgive me for all the psychology I used for us to have a happy family😇 (so far it's going well but I know not to view the world through roze tinted glasses😜)

[@AttachmentAdam]

Even better, talk about these things right up front and enlist their help building a great relationship as a team!

[@Tkagel]

Great content! Even better clickbait that’s written by a dad video titles. Keep it up.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Thanks

[@lynettejohnson9051]

Play music she likes... make her laugh... hug her tight .

[@AttachmentAdam]

Absolutely, I agree! All of those different actions also tackle different parts of the brain and release different hormones. Did you know that?

[@srikrishnavasanth3895]

I also hope you make a video for women about men's isolation and minding some time alone.

[@AttachmentAdam]

I do teach this a lot to women in my community and in coaching. Do you find women in your life don't offer that?

[@MissingTheMark]

What do you think of the advice that a married woman should make sure to have a female friend or two and to consciously go to them when she wants female interaction, so she's better able to deal with her husband as a man rather than to have the strong desire to have him provide that female interaction? (That is not to say that she won't want to bond to her husband in a feminine way, but that making sure to have female friends and to distinguish her female friends from her husband helps her to be able to be more accommodating to his differences.)

[@AttachmentAdam]

It’s beneficial for both sexes to have friends of their own sex for platonic friendship and support. If they’re in a standard marriage, they also need to learn to communicate effectively with each other.

[@maxsteven2659]

Dam my other half always used to tell me to just listen to her but I didn’t understand

[@AttachmentAdam]

Happens a lot. Is it better now?

[@srikrishnavasanth3895]

When solve their emotional stress by being isolated and diverting their mind. And women by sharing their problems. This is because women experience 10x more intense emotions when we burn out with emotions we want to call out that's what happening here.

[@AttachmentAdam]

Interesting, is that how you've seen the women you've met?

[@dozerdiva5143]

I have so many questions. ❤

[@AttachmentAdam]

I hope to have answers. 🤣

[@Nouriscoolasf]

What about the opposite? How should i react to my man telling me stories or talking about his day or past experiences? What is he expecting from me as a man ?

[@AttachmentAdam]

That's a great question, and a wonderful sign that he's opening up to you! Have you ever asked him how he'd like you to respond? His answer may surprise you.

[@katelandsmith3760]

Guy listening to a female *staring intensifies* (chuckled a bit at the part of the video) Me when they talk about *someone's socks* (they must really like socks)

[@AttachmentAdam]

I'm glad this one resonated!

[@oambitiousone7100]

What if HE comes home and goes on and on about HIS day? Doesn’t do the typical detach/process in his cave of the day’s events. I come home and don’t want to rehash my day; I need to eat and detach for a while 🤔

[@AttachmentAdam]

Sounds like a conversation to have.

[@annareese376]

Would someone please provide a link to the video Adam referenced several times suggesting we watch. I did google it and I am not finding it.

[@AttachmentAdam]

I referenced a few videos, which one in particular?

[@edenbreckhouse]

Why should a man speak to a woman in a way that she'd expect when a women won't reciprocate? It all seems a bit gyno-centric to me.

[@NathanPK]

I think it's fair to expect women to reciprocate. See my comment above.

[@edenbreckhouse]

@@NathanPK oh yes, women should reciprocate but they don't. We as men are expected to communicate with women in a way that suits women but women are not prepared to return the favour. It's all one way traffic.

[@NathanPK]

@@edenbreckhouse Not in my experience. Maybe you're talking to less mature women.

[@NathanPK]

My comment above has disappeared twice. ???

[@edenbreckhouse]

@@NathanPK well that's my experience and I'm 58. I have never met a woman, even 40 and 50 year old women who are prepared to reciprocate.

[@jackdeniston59]

surely if a chick just needs to talk, a doll is just as useful

[@AttachmentAdam]

It’s about human connection.

[@jackdeniston59]

@@AttachmentAdam yeah, she feels connected, I feel......used.