The Acolyte is TRASH

[@JLongbone]

Master Saul is a weirdo, full stop Uncensored version: rumble.com/v569ntt-the-acolyte-is-trash.html ►Streamlabs streamlabs.com/IrreveRANT100/tip OR ►Donate! www.paypal.me/BoneyLong ►Rumble rumble.com/c/c-2367322 ►Twitter twitter.com/JonsLongs

[@spinb]

Yeah, and Master Squid Game is not a good actor, unless "Sol" is supposed to be inept and obtuse.

[@Unknown-hb3id]

@@spinb Him being inept and obtuse would be a matter of his writing. Squid Game's acting with what he's been given, and - despite not knowing English - he's able to convey strong and subtle emotions with and without dialogue. That's more than literally any other character in this show is doing, so...

[@MalachiCo0]

JL: there shouldn't be witches cause this is a sci fi show (implication; no supernatural stuff) The Force: AN I A JOKE TO YOU?!

[@oKeNSchWarZo]

Acolyte identify's as everything else BUT StarWars.

[@posteriorpepperoni]

​@@MalachiCo0nah,it's not because it's supernatural stuff,there were Nightsisters before in the Clone Wars show and they were fine. It's cause this "Power of Too,Power of Many,Power of Women" shit is super corny and lame. Doesn't help that Filoni's wife is the "basic white girl who owns a satanist mug" type

[@Hollyclown]

Fun fact: when Leslye Headland, Harvey Weinstein’s ex-personal assistant, was doing auditions for identical twins, she decided to go for un-identical twins because she couldn’t tell the twins apart. Yes, she actually admitted that on interview.

[@DepressooEspressoo]

Is it’s almost as if she shouldn’t have basically giving them the same hair cut and outfit without giving them one thing to tell them apart

[@The_Punisher]

Couldn't she just have called them by their names?

[@Beuwen_The_Dragon]

‘Why these black kids look the same?” -Lesbyan ‘former personal assistant to Harvey Weinstein” Headland

[@Steroyd666]

I facepalmed so hard when I heard about that, why are you complaining you can't tell the twins apart THAT'S THE WHOLE PREMISE OF THE SHOW FFS. You could have weaved that into the flashback so we're not sure which twin is EEEEEVVVIIIIILLLL and which one is good, or if they switched places at certain points of the flashback leading to speculation on the Internet between episodes, but just like everyone but the people making the thing I'm thinking beyond their capacity.

[@TheFatalcrest]

😂 bruh. I bet the pool of young black twin actors may be small ...but they could atleast take one kid that can *Act* like two different kids

[@collingreen9517]

Fun fact, according to Disney Starwar Book of Boba Fett spice is hard drugs. This means the coven is feeding their kids ice cream flavored like space meth.

[@AbsoluteZeroKyuKyoKami]

Wow fun for the whole family these people hate everything they touch that's why they ruin everything

[@thetrashcanman7537]

Scoundrels smuggle it, hutts sell it, it’s always used in a crime setting , Han Solo , atton rand etc

[@walkingcubkid]

Exactly…. So not only are they a part of some freaky ghost looking witch cult, but they also give drugs to the only two children in the village……… Pretty sure these witches are more on the dark side of the force than the light…..

[@andrewmeyer3599]

​​@thetrashcanman7537 Spice was generalized. Yes, they definitely had space meth Spice but there were other forms. Doesn't change that it wouldn't have been ice cream or anything like that

[@nhagan001]

Spice is very much up Leslie’s alley!

[@nadilenebudski]

The power of woke. The power of cringe. The power of Disney losing all its mooonneeeeeyyyyyy.

[@Lava91point0]

I'm starting to think, they might be the real cause of the current recession.

[@jareddrogose1470]

🤣☠️

[@gamerbeast3616]

they arent losing money lol

[@newmnsilver]

​@@gamerbeast3616Sure they're not, but they're definitely throwing away alot of money lol

[@nadilenebudski]

@gamerbeast3616 Ummm, in 2021 their stock was almost 200 a share. Now it's mid 90 dollar range. So yes, they are losing money. Dipshit 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

[@Sousabird]

2:10 in Star Wars, Spice is often referred to and is presented as hard drugs. Glad they apparently market it to children.

[@kristkat3962]

gotta get them hooked when they're young

[@Lord_Numpty]

The most concrete evidence they don’t know or care about the setting, since it’s the equivalent of a kid asking ‘HEY! CAN I HAVE SOME CRYSTAL METH CREAM?!’ That said, wouldn’t be too surprised if Headland was perfectly fine with such a concept.

[@ShadowKillerX]

Are daughters must have drugs. Wait, are they saying that because their black?

[@joinsideke]

Yeah isn't that what Han Solo used to smuggle?

[@thetrashcanman7537]

Yeah wtf were they thinking ?!! “Pls mom we aren’t young anymore we want heroine ice cream!”

[@Thespokenone]

Man I feel sorry for that South Korean actor, he learnt english after the Squid Games and this is his first role after that.

[@andrewmeyer3599]

That is fucking painful. Dude probably thought he was about to skyrocket into total stardom

[@Missjunebugfreak]

Same here. I hope he gets a better project which actually showcases his talent.

[@lmahu6627]

​​@@andrewmeyer3599 The guy doesn't need that because he's already a big actor in South Korea, and _Squid Game_ made him more known internationally. Anyway, he is also an actual _Star Wars_ fan (though he might be on the more casual side). If he saw something wrong in the script, I think he can't really call it out because he's still a beginner in English and/or contractual obligations.

[@ithewho6603]

I've heard he didn't learn English, but just the lines for this show. If true, I find it even more impressive because he was actually acting compared to the others.

[@niropaxum958]

Ehh he got a nice pay check and got to play a hot Sith dude. Usually the dark side makes them look rotten but u know. (my bad the squid game actor was the Jedi)

[@jimberjamber8540]

Lesbian Headlamp admitted in a recent interview that she decided not to go with child twins because she couldn't tell them apart. 180 million dollars.

[@matthiasthulman4058]

Lesbian Headlamp lololol

[@sayLeotardbutsayitChinese]

And I'M the racist (disregard username)

[@bradroberts4202]

"Lesbian Headlamp"...that is top shelf, my friend. 😎✅

[@ithewho6603]

They are twins, just not identical.

[@ItsJustTeddington]

You need to address Lesbian Headlamp, assistant and enabler of Harvey Weinstein her full title at all times.

[@jculver1674]

Poe: "They scissor now?" Finn: "They scissor now!"

[@SergioHernandez-le8wp]

"Where is their father?" "He'll be back shortly...he just went off-planet to get some milk"

[@kaykutcher2103]

Went on a blue milk run.

[@chriscunningham6401]

The green titty milk from the walrus. He was there before Luke dontcha know?

[@CRIMI0N]

You know: "Jumping the Shark"? I call this: "Scissoring the Thread".

[@tajcee]

Scissoring the thread? Scissoring-OHHHHHHHHH 😂😂😂

[@goodfellow9607]

You know: “Scissoring the Thread”? I call this: “The Power of Many”.

[@yassinefarah2423]

How seam-ingly funny.👌🏽

[@JonathanBresnihan77]

Lol 😂

[@gregsmith7949]

🤣🤣🤣 Priceless 👍👍👍

[@Krankensteinn]

The kids are both little black girls with the same haircut. To Leslie Headland they look EXACTLY the same!😂

[@V_Dgt]

It looks discriminatory, yep

[@crimsonpotemkin]

"It's not a force, it's a thread." *Turns around and forces the kids to the ground* Mmm, ma'am, I beg to differ.

[@niropaxum958]

she threaded them to the ground

[@lalilulelolol4780]

​@@niropaxum958 "Get Threaded, nerds."

[@Laxhoop]

It both completely baffles and utterly infuriates me, that all of the people defending this show are going “It’s so clever, because it’s saying that being good isn’t always good”, and I’m just like, the show was made by Harvey Weinstein’s assistant, of course she’d believe that morals should be subjective, she probably fed him children for a bonus, dozens of times. She’s not being smart or clever or subversive, she’s just spouting her own f*cked up morals, and you aren’t clever for picking up on the most obvious writing ever.

[@lmahu6627]

What also tells me about Headland's lack of understanding of morality is that she said that _The Acolyte_ shows that the Jedi "can be evil" and the Sith "can be the underdogs." Like, does she think that being the underdog means one is in the right? Here's the thing: the Jedi have done nothing evil in this show, and the Sith being the "underdog" in this setting doesn't excuse the evil they do.

[@PraxesArdenn]

Moral relativism underpins so much goddamn media right now, it really didn't need to spill into Star Wars Rian Johnson went for it first though (in film).

[@Cityweaver]

​@@lmahu6627any way that they go with this story makes the morals completely unwatchable. Especially since they marketed this as a story from an African American perspective. 🙄 So, you write a psycho Black girl who force-chokes butterflies and sets fire to her family, but blames the police for it? 😂 You can't write a story where a little girl is scared of her family and genuinely feels uncomfortable with them, but if CPS gets involved, they are the problem, they are kidnappers. What? "No, no," some fans say. "That's all misdirection. They look like they're trying to write a conspiracy where a select few Jedi did something morally outrageous, but they hit it from the Jedi council." Yeah, buddy. That makes this a story of the cops harassing some black people, but the story reassures us that police themselves are not corrupt, it's just a few bad apples. Gee thanks. On the other hand, adding in a random Sith gives them an out of saying HE caused the fire and created everyone's problems. Okay, fine. You made the story where black people were imagining their own oppression and putting misplaced on the police. 😅 Gee, thanks!! See the dumb hole you dug for yourself by trying to claim you were writing a nuanced political perspective in a story that has literal Light Side and Dark Side? The witches literally acknowledge the practice they use utilizes the dark side of the force, but the writers want us to interpret that as a subjective thing that only appears as the dark side because the Jedi discriminate against, I don't know, lesbians or something. You can't do that. You can't take an actual subjective viewpoint from The real World and insert it into a story that has objectively defined light and dark. You can't just say that being a lesbian witch APPEARS to be dark side to a Jedi. This entire story would have been improved if they simply said that the Jedi monitors Force users. Intentionally trying to provoke subjective morality is laughably stupid. It always means intentionally writing unlikeable, unsympathetic characters and saying that's the point, because you should "respect their culture" no matter what... No. This is a story not a political essay. If I have no empathy or sympathy for the main character, why should I care about their problems? You can't write someone trying to kill innocent bystanders and then tell me I'm supposed to still care about her because she has a soft spot for kids. 😂😂

[@Lava91point0]

@@lmahu6627 Bang on* By their own admission the witches know what they're doing is frowned upon, but because they're outcasts, that automatically means they're the real good, and it's the Jedi who are dubious. The fact they're trying to bastardize the one thing in the franchise that represented good, says a lot about the mindset of not just Headland, but everyone involved in the writing of this show.

[@Nabinut]

@@lmahu6627 That was until the latest episode. Now the Jedi are "pure evil" for what happened in episode 3. So mission accomplished for Ms. Headland.

[@weareharbinger914]

Spice is a drug in star wars. There was never any indication that 'spice creams' were not that exact thing. The writers don't care about star wars and they suck at writing in general. It is the skinsuit problem, again.

[@coldfusionwaffles]

Their father went on the kessel run to get a pack of death sticks and never came back.

Also he went to get more Blue Milk.

[@marywinchester1322]

5:13 Worse....both sisters are named after an essential oils and skin care shop. 🤣Only wine moms could think of this.

[@Vanessa-xx3yz]

The gross part about the "spice creams" line, is that they probably wanted to advertise some new food item they'd have at Disneyland so even in a galaxy far, far away, we can't escape product placement

[@dungusyungus245s]

Yeah let's give children space drugs in cream form. I'd laugh seeing those 2 dumb twins running around like an idiot while high af lol!

[@minion3806]

It gets worse. As other comments have mentioned, spice is a hard drug in star wars, so they're giving drugs to kids...

[@Vanessa-xx3yz]

@@minion3806 Oh no! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@niropaxum958]

@@minion3806 death sticks were not available

[@DisplayThisOkay]

From what i heard Spice cream was a thing you could order at that failed Starwars hotel.

[@Shuxy]

Everyone roasting this series to shit, and JLongbone STILL finds new things to roast. THAT is why I always watch when JLongbone drops a new video!

[@SaidarRising]

Lol yes when I saw this dropped I thought “finally a voice of reason” 😂😂

[@PaulAurelius509BC]

The Acolyte feels like it was written by an overly emotional entitled Starbucks barista.

[@Xbalanque84]

You'd have to prove to me it wasn't at this point.

[@vuton7670]

If they get a divorce, who would win the rights to keep the kids?

[@IstariAzul777]

I heard yesterday that dads r now spontaneously transitioning so they can be moms instead in court .. we r living in a twisted clown world

[@elizahamilton5599]

Even that this show is in favor of the woman of power(the black one) it would definitely be her

[@joinsideke]

@@elizahamilton5599 White mom: Mother Coral Black mom: Mama Why didn't black mom just carry them herself? White mom is clearly just a surrogate.

[@Yumums]

The least butch or the one with the most check marks

[@nhagan001]

Good question, they certainly ain’t getting the house. Stone’s not up to code.

[@oldoutlet6946]

"Spice-creams" sounds better fit for a cartoon like Chowder than a sci-fi show that cost $180M.

[@Xbalanque84]

It gets worse when you realize "spice" has always been Star Wars lingo for heavy narcotics, the kind that criminal empires like those of the Hutts are based on. Taken with the... _sensual_ nature of that ritual, all signs point to someone needing to call in CPS _yesterday!_ Also lines up with Brick Face's former employer, her Lena Dunhaming her own sister as a child, and her (presumed) Wayfair cabinet addiction.

[@kolonarulez5222]

Yes Chowder's favorite Thrice cream

[@cameronb7161]

Chowder is written 10,000X better than this dumpster fire

[@ActivistBatonVI]

​@@cameronb7161 and a lot more visually interesting

[@SpookTroop]

@@cameronb7161Chowder is genuinely funny

[@thetrashcanman7537]

Spice= drugs in starwars …..so the equivalent of giving children cocaine ice cream….

[@idk-ill-figure-smn-out]

I've done cocaine. Spice was staight-up CRACK.

[@dodojesus4529]

Oh yeah baybe

[@crimsonpotemkin]

So, the horney/horned lady is the biological mother. Why aren't the kids horned? Whatever involvement the black mom had in their creation, it wasn't DNA she was giving them, it's implied that it was the Force/Thread, so where are the horns on their heads?

[@vuton7670]

These people don't believe in biology, you think they'll do research?

[@vikkidonn]

That’s not the type of diversity they needed checked off

[@crimsonpotemkin]

@@vikkidonn funny thing is, there's no reason they would be black either. They should probably both look like their biological mother, weird white alien women with horns

[@joinsideke]

Nah I think the horned lady was just a surrogate. Like they clearly only take after the other mom, but being impregnated with just the Force has already been done before with Anakin's mom and that was a Virgin Mary allegory, and we can't have that. So this time they're lesbian witches.

[@sayLeotardbutsayitChinese]

@@joinsideke So then why are they half white lol

[@kyled.7748]

It would've been funny if they had called the "Thread" the "Weave" instead 😂

[@jdraven0890]

Saddest part: they intended the ONE, TWO, MAAAAANY moment to be epic. It was the best the lame asses working on this show could come up with.

[@frug5629]

If your ears could puke. They would from this show.

[@marikasdaughter6263]

Saddest part is they think they can just girl boss a scifi predominantly male fanbase franchise and women will flock to it. Shows how little they think of women, can be brought over to a show they previously cared nothing for, because they dangle some keys in front of their face. "Look representation" like that's all they care about.

[@msmaria5039]

It's memorable at least.

[@dontbeorbeevil]

They cared so much to have 100% female team working on this show that quality became impossible. Seriously, there are jobs that women despise doing. Let me guess how they hired a woman to do it. Hey, do you want to have a good salary for half a year? No, you don't need any skills, you do *gives a description what the new hire needs to do.* And it shows. The bits that are not looking professional hurt. They are very visible and all easily look wrong.

[@giulizpaviz6381]

Osha literally doesn't want to become a witch, she wants to become a Jedi. But the other witches don't want her to be free to choose while the Jedis offers her to choose. Leslye, how there's no good or evil? How are the Jedis evil? What makes the witches any good or morally gray? Becuse it seems that the witches are evil

[@nettietrees7238]

“My sweet girls must have sweet treats” - who speaks to their kids that way? That 2 secs was ultra cringe.

[@jdraven0890]

@@nettietrees7238 and the actresses' delivery made that terrible line even worse

[@nettietrees7238]

@@jdraven0890 absolutely.

[@Xbalanque84]

Grooming them for a fertility ritual. Reminder: "spice" has always been SW lingo for hard drugs. Makes sense that this evil cult would prepare for the ritual by feeding their kids drugs.

[@psychomammoth9640]

The Power of One, The Power of Two, The Power of MONEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

[@graylykan2739]

"We've GOT to have.... MONEEEEEAAAAY"

[@mikeoxlong1395]

@@graylykan2739 "L O D S O F M O N E what that spells: LOADSAMONEY!"

[@psychomammoth9640]

@@mikeoxlong1395best song

[@mikeoxlong1395]

@@psychomammoth9640 Not for Didney as of late.

[@shnorkeythefourth4572]

“Where’s their father?” God forbid in this alien sci-fi show one of them say “our species doesn’t reproduce like that, they have no father” Star Wars used to have aliens don’t you know?

[@venomsnekko]

The "spice cream" bit really gets to me, because in Disney canon, Spice is a narcotic. The commie witches are giving the kids laced ice cream.

[@PhantomFilmAustralia]

After religiously watching JLongbone's hilarious commentary of the cringe fest that was Batwoman, I honestly thought there wouldn't be another show as woefully terrible to critique as Batwoman. Luckily for me and for all of us, I was wrong! 😂😂

[@Adamguy2003]

Don't forget 'Velma'!

[@tajcee]

I stumbled on J Longbone’s Batwoman commentary and was dying laughing 😂 Been a fan ever since. Of J Longbone, not the CW show lmaoooo

[@ninjanibba4259]

She Hulk and that vampire show too

[@saltytwofer]

Robynhood

[@akuhappy3246]

That one was epic ​@@saltytwofer

[@cosmozapallo4530]

I love how JL censors like the Boondocks. Curse words is a no no. But when she drops n words, she just dont give a shit lol love it!

[@Nokaret]

Legend has it, JLongbone once saved a fairy's life and was offered to be turned into a rich white supermodel as a reward. 'And lose my n-word privileges? Hell no!'

[@nettietrees7238]

How the hell do they actually know what is ‘normal’ for a child? There are no other children, there haven’t been. So how the f do they ‘know’?

[@MajorSmurf]

Anyone else remember when writers made characters intelligent, funny or intriguing... the fact that we're even at the point where we have to ask for basic characterisation is a bad sign. God forbid we asked for complex characters with some nuance. Why is it that children's stories even fairy tales are able to tackle mature topics inside a fun story but modern day writers can't... oh I remember why because those writers had actual life experience and a rigid sense of morality whereas nowadays I think most writers think all morality is a grey blob and their hardest part of life was seeing Starbucks increase their coffee prices. It isn't but I guess it's easy to delude yourself when fuelled by greed and spite.

[@Adamguy2003]

You're 100% right about most current writers' views of morality. It helps them assuage their guilty consciences of the crap they've done (For someone who's witnessed and done the sorts of things that Headland has undoubtedly witnessed and done, especially while under the employ of the barbarian she used to work for, you can see how such a mindset is particularly appealing), and it's the mindset they try and push on viewers so they themselves won't be seen as insane or evil for having such a mindset. Consider these two lines from two different projects made almost 25 years apart from each other to see how morality has been skewed lately: "This isn't about good or bad; It's about power, and who should be allowed to have it."- Lesbian space witch mama who we're supposed to see as wise and kind, 'The Acolyte.' "There is no good or evil; There is only power, and those too weak to possess it."- Lord Voldemort, 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.'

[@marikasdaughter6263]

Yeah I miss those times when they didn't shoehorn everything in to satisfy some check boxes while disregarding quality writing. I also miss the time when criticisms were only seen as extreme when people went extreme on them saying heinous shit just to troll or whatever.

[@oldoutlet6946]

It's even worse when they feel they have the moral authority to talk down to their audiences about ethics.

[@EmoBunny69]

Caucasian mutant. 😂😂😂 I’m sorry that’s foul. (Love this woman’s insults) ❤

[@spinyhedgie]

10:30 he went out for blue milk and death sticks. Im sure he'll be right back

[@oKeNSchWarZo]

Acolyte identify's as everything else BUT StarWars.

[@CooperDooper38]

"Spice creams!" Excuse me?! "Spice" is drugs. That would be like me as a kid saying "Can I have some weed cookies?"

or Heroin cake

[@JoelKellenProductions]

So, spice cream is apparently the equivalent of THC infused ice cream for us, since you know, spice has always been drugs in Star Wars. Bad enough Hedland is sexualizing the villain in a supposed “kids show”, but she’s advertising drugs as a treat for children.

[@niropaxum958]

I think the show is teen oriented and I don't mind sexualised characters, there were a bunch of those in the shows I grew upp watching and I sort of never noticed, Xena had some, Hercules had some (man im old) but what is annoying is that the writers and the jounos that support them are the kind of people that would yapp and complain about idk Lea's skimpy costume when she is captured but then go on and make/champion this sort of thing. It's the rules for thee and not for me aspect that I really hate.

[@JoelKellenProductions]

@@niropaxum958 Eh, I think that the defenders of this show have said this is for kids, so my argument is still valid

[@niropaxum958]

@@JoelKellenProductions by their own standards it is.

[@Xbalanque84]

Reminder: Brick Face thought _Frozen_ was about incestuous lesbian romance. Her RL sister refuses to speak to her. _The Acolyte_ is apparently a message/love letter to that sister. _DO THE MATH!_ But wait, it gets worse. Brick Face has basically admitted to stalking Amandla Stenberg for years after her Hunger Games role (when Stenberg was 13), and made the role for her specifically. Literally showed up to her with all the concept art ready-made, all showing images/portraits of Stenberg specifically, all before Stenberg even knew this project was in the works. Rather than notice the obvious red flags, she ran with it (and God knows what else behind closed doors). Is it any wonder Brick Face is pushing total moral inversion?

[@JoelKellenProductions]

@@Xbalanque84 where’s all this from?

[@princemensah3590]

"They tribbed, there was friction...." I'm on the floor laughing.....you're on a whole new level and here I was thinking Nerdrotic was funny.... He is funny but you're up there with him.

[@Vespyr_]

Jlong is naturally funny. Nerdrotic comes off as abrasive and a bit try hard for me. Jlong isn't meanspirited in the same way.

[@princemensah3590]

@@Vespyr_ I get your point.....I don't know if I should be wishing Hollywood does better or worse at this point...I'm conflicted...🤣🤣

[@Missjunebugfreak]

Jlongbone is far more witty and hilarious than Nerdrotic. He's way too annoying for me.

[@princemensah3590]

@@Missjunebugfreak awww but I like nerdrotic...🤣🤣

[@vincentshadetree]

​@@princemensah3590Judging by their profiles being almost empty, pretty sure these are both bots. I'll go one deeper and surmise that they are intent at throwing shade at Nerdrotic because he's not liked by the MSM and Hollyweird types for calling them on their bs. Even JL mentions several times he's funny. I'm just here to laugh, as long as they make it funny and informative, but yeah, I call sus on both commenters 😁

[@MajorSmurf]

Also isn't it amazing how the start of the story contradicts the plot point that the Jedi just kidnap and keep children at the temple... when Osha was freely allowed to leave and do her own thing with seemingly little interaction for years. Also Dooku left the order as an adult and Jedi don't just rip children away from parents, Anakin went because his mother told him to because she thought it would be better for him. Many other mothers and fathers would simply say no so again how are the Jedi evil or wrong? The only thing they might do is keep an eye on force users in case they start turning to the dark side which seems a good thing. Oh yeah let's just have hundreds of sith just pop up, that would be great for the galaxy at large.

[@durpdurpsmurt]

We needed you to bash on this. Love it!

[@CRIMI0N]

5:17 They're probably named after after a soap brand, 'Osha Mae'. I'm dead serious it exists.

[@sarasunshinemt4444]

So it's not Occupational Safety & Health Administration? 😂

[@sheerbeauty]

/looks up Osha Mae Soap Well, I'll be darned. what lazy writing.

[@DoodsUnited]

I couldn't believe that was real, either.. But it is, that's the amount of creativity we're dealing with here

[@sarasunshinemt4444]

@@sheerbeauty I guess "Dove" & "L'Oréal" were too trademarked lol

[@EpicJasonX9000]

What is up with Disney’s obsession with witches lately? Agatha, Scarlet Witch, Hocus Pocus 2, Ashoka, this.

[@jahigains9201]

It’s a historical representation of women being powerful, but also persecuted. Perfect for that powerful victim sweet spot.

[@josephbassey1501]

​@@jahigains9201Never thought about it like that but this is definitely spot on

[@royalsamis7756]

Plus it's a theme that they think will draw little girls into the audience.

[@EpicJasonX9000]

@@royalsamis7756 but failing spectacularly at it. XD

[@TheToyZone00]

Another thing they overlooked is that Spice in the Star Wars universe is drugs, so why would children be getting drugs as a treat lmao.

[@DrakeTimbershaft]

A week ago, I went to see “Manos: The Hands Of Fate” at a special screening. I was speaking with a friend at the theater and SOMEHOW the subject drifted to “Star Wars.” My friend asked me, “You know what the difference is between ‘Manos’ and ‘Star Wars?’” Without hesitation, I said, “I still like ‘Manos.’” When you love a B film more than you like ‘Star Wars,’ you KNOW ‘Star Wars’ is in trouble.

[@mikeoxlong1395]

The Master will be pleased.

[@Wulfen73]

So, interesting point. "Spice" is basically the street name of an illegal highly addictive drug in the Star Wars universe. Symptoms of addiction include severe paranoia, the belief one can read minds, and violent outbursts. So how long have they been having this... Spicecream?

[@Jman92854]

Makes sense the lesbian couple disagreed how to raise the twins, usually ends in domestic violence, and with a whole coven of lesbian witches, that statistic shot up.

[@Xbalanque84]

I used to suggest (half-jokingly) that the coven members were unalived after a domestic dispute got out of hand and they weren't able to contain it. Episode 7 makes it worse because it shows that _it really was the bad twin all along_ (presumably doing it all with her mind for... reasons). The writing for this show is aggressively stupid.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

I am glad I am not the only one who noticed the crazy hyena laughter. I wish we could edit some Gnolls into the crowd.

[@crimsonpotemkin]

I can't hear the name Coral without thinking about The Walking Dead. Also, have you heard about how the two not identical sisters got cast instead of identical twins? It's so stupid you won't believe it.

[@STOCKHOLM07]

I need a mashup of JLongbone and Rich Evans just laughing at trash. Their laughter knows no equal.

[@taffysaur]

“Can we have some spice creams?” The Boba Fett show firmly established spice as a narcotic in the Star Wars universe. 😳

[@ninjanibba4259]

Dang it J, I’m working…you can’t have me laughing so loud with this But I’ll make an exception today

[@FullCaber]

SPACE LESBIAN WITCHES VERSUS SPACE WIZARDS

[@brucecampbellschin8632]

Commie Lesbian Space Wizards.

[@falxblade1352]

Not like it's relevant, but I will die on the hill that the jedi are space paladins and not wizards. They pledge themselves to a higher power, take vows to serve righteously, and have a very strict anathema that, if crossed, can result in losing their powers or even corruption, all the flavor is there. The jedi are even portrayed as a religious order

[@Adamguy2003]

The two girls they have playing the "Twins" not only don't even look like they're related, let alone like they're twins, they're also REALLY bad at acting, even for kids. The parts when they appear to be "Fighting" with each other look ridiculous. Oh, and speaking of things that look ridiculous, why the hell does the Wookiee Jedi have a partially- shaved head? Lastly, for a building apparently made out of solid stone and metal, the Fortress of Lesbianism sure went up like kindling when the fire started, didn't it? Is stone flammable in a galaxy far, far away or something?

[@Acrocanthosaurus]

There are few take downs like a JLongbone take down. The problem is that now I'm actually watching the acolyte. It's even more horrible and mega cringe than previously reported. Oh the horror.

[@2dents513]

Honestly lesbian witches could have been a good concept 10 or 20 years ago. When people knew how to write and have fun and not use existing properties and tarnish them. But alas, we live in dark times. 😭

[@VespoLiveGaming]

Just a reminder that in Star Wars canon, "spice" is a damgerous narcotic from the mines of Kessel, soill let you form your own opinions about giving children "spice cream"

[@pluckyfox08]

It's funny cause many thought Osha was named after Occupational Safety and Health Administration but it turns out that she and her sister are named after a Soap Brand! 😂

[@Nokaret]

21:41 'lego head' lesbian. And now I can't unsee it 😂

[@monkfan72]

To be honest, I haven't liked Star Wars for a long time. Thank you JLongbone. 😢

[@Vespyr_]

*Hugs* We had good times with it, for many years. It was good once. It still is in our hearts and memories.

[@alinasow5081]

"miserable, cold and lesbian"

[@crystalic_heart]

Sounds like me

[@Nymphonomicon]

Is this why the Jedi came to their "coven"? Were they looking for OSHA violations?

That or they are also Space CPS and are looking into kids being given space crack ice cream.

[@plantemor]

I think the biggest mistake George Lucas ever did was to hand over his baby to a corporation.

[@Nokaret]

And handpick KK as the one in charge.

[@Sarahonwheels]

I can guarantee you that George doesn’t care. If he did, he would’ve done something by now . As long as it keeps him running Skywalker ranch, it doesn’t matter. He just gave it to anyone who wanted it. You can blame kk but I think it’s mostly JJ and RJ who nuked it. Kk only greenlights and makes sure it sells.

[@Nokaret]

@@Sarahonwheels Nah, George will not come to save SW, might as well wait for the second coming of Christ. He sold the franchise to the white slavers, as he jokingly (? 🤔) once said. George is old, selling Lucasfilm was his way of getting away from it all and going into retirement.

[@erikbihari3625]

All because the fans didn't like the creator had his own ideas!

[@budgetbrick5124]

Remember this is part of Disney high republic. Not a very good impression to have people want to look more into Disney expanded universe since everything seem so stupid and completely destroyed the lore of star wars. Hell remember the first announcement for it and the famous white board that had list on what not to do is to have wars. Not have conflicts in a series called star wars the writers made that board and thought yeah this isn't gonna make us look dumb as hell

[@dexstewart862]

The first High Republic thing I saw was a comic with annoying fairies buzzing around and a Jedi hanging off the side of a cliff with a lightsaber somehow.

[@the_absurd_hero]

J, you gotta watch Ep.6. It's the space equivalent of _365 Days_ but with worse acting and dumber characters

[@jegsdinogod5091]

Alien women carries the twins in her own womb and helps raise them but they address her like an orphanage caretaker nun.

[@josephbons1]

Spice is a term in the books for drugs.It's a catch all term for narcotics. She's offering them drug ice cream.

[@Dr.Cosmar]

Later they have a lame scene where jedi learners are practicing using wooden sticks... Meanwhile, my memory as a fan clearly recalls kids training with real sabers... because they were ultra gifted, as force sensitives tend to be. I vividly remember Zett Jukassa, being an absolute little hero. Defending Bail Orgona as she escaped order 66, and giving his own young life in the process. Barely over the age of 13 maybe, sticking to his training, and putting it to use in a moment of horrific self-sacrifice. Now it's just d*kes and soy-boys with lazer swords who act however they want.. no formality... no emotional discipline... everyone reacts however they want instead of remaining the masters and knights they proclaim to be. The original Jedi where portrayed as monks with shaolin-like combat prowess. It's not like they were not allowed to be happy, or coy, or angry even, but it was that they were very well disciplined in when and how to express those emotions. I know you're not as invested, but this franchise was my childhood. Look at what they have done to it... it's a joke now.

[@Mr.E_Bodhako]

Space Ice Creams - Sp'Ice Creams lel is she called Mother Koril because she has that coral growing out of her head

[@_SimpleJack_]

I'm no Star Wars nerd but I've heard that Spice is an illegal drug in Star Wars universe so yeah, let that sit for a while.

It really is and only Disney canon claims that apparently it is just a name slapped onto anything. Yeah because we totally have Heroin Coffee, Meth shakes and Crack Ice Cream brands IRL.

[@khankrumgaming8926]

Something being "normal behavior for a child" doesn't mean that you don't check it. it just means you shouldn't freak out about it. I love these nonsensical explanations. "It's normal for kids to fight, let them fight," then 10 years later, "why is my son in prison for assault and battery?"

[@Lava91point0]

Why, in all these sci-fi's, do the writers, and wardobe departments think all futuristic black people have to have thick locks or braids? They couldn't give them something unique or more original like a weird mushroom hive, or strange horn like hair, or even some kind of alien symbiote that grows on their skull, anything to make it unique. No, just give them one out of two hairstyle choices. Empowerment, yeah!!!

Nope, all black people in these "Diverse" shows have to be stereotypes, either rapper hip hop thug life losers or deepest africa primitives. There is no inbetween.

[@chasehedges6775]

Revenge Of The Sith is a masterpiece and Ewoks The Battle For Endor is a childhood classic. This show…… is a disaster and I haven’t watched a single episode.

[@billstephens396]

Ep 4 is the only good movie... Period, you're not a fan if you say otherwise... PERIOD!

[@chasehedges6775]

I’m a Star Wars fan, love the OT AND PT and will stand on my opinion. PERIOD!

[@danereeder3417]

It would have been a good 2 hr movie like all the other Star Wars tv show except Andor lol

[@chasehedges6775]

@@danereeder3417 Andor is on ANOTHER LEVEL ENTIRELY!

[@StaubZuStaub]

If the 2nd in command of this oddly horny coven is a zabrak why didn't she make the coven join the Dathomir witches when they were shunned? Better yet, why didn't Disney make a show about Dathomirian witches?

My guess an author made up the Dathomir Witches and Disney does not want to pay royalties and thus just rips it off and changes it enough to not be sued.

[@jeffwiese4037]

"Destiny is not some anonymous force that controls you, you have a choice in the matter" words written by someone that doesn't know what destiny is.

[@therealfakecaptain7978]

I scream, you scream, we all scream for Spice Cream !

[@sreif78]

Given that Spice is SW Universe is hard drugs, that line is disturbing.

[@ChrisC-qh4io]

I love this woman. Wanna go out for some spice cream? LMAO I don't care about or watch any star wars whatever but this is crazy bad. This show should be on the scifi channel at 4am.

[@sheerbeauty]

"The Force looks like weed" --- _ohh_. Thanks J, now it all makes sense why Disney SW is the way it is. Those who are stoned when they write scripts are convinced they have written the blockbuster of the year, but it is not so.

Hell I am a stoner and even pot cannot make you that dumb.

[@paul_etw]

"Lego head lesbian" 💀

[@dah3071]

Wonder if makers remember that spice is a star wars drug so spice cream sounds like some sort of child friendly smack

Guess they are trying to reach new markets. "Smack for the whole family! Just find your local dealer for prices"

[@EdwardVGrimm]

PLEASE do the whole series, your take on it is shared by (the power) of many and had me rolling 🤣 😂

[@lalilulelolol4780]

Gotta be honest here, "Thread Choke", "Thread Lighting", "Thread Healing" and "Thread Push" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[@samuel5591]

Hopefully Master Squid Game learned to say "You're so fired" to his agent...

[@23guillouman]

LMAO "crown Royal bags!?". Hahahaha I'm dead

[@yendor0001]

They're actually named after a Canadian soap company. Oshamae soap. When you lack imagination and talent you end up with Jedi Master Keyser Söze.

[@blankadams3120]

God, I forgot Sol handed Osha his lightsaber, which takes on a horrific new implication post episode 6, where the lightsaber is Captain Hammer's penis.

[@Zero_2500]

The Niles Crane Hairline joke got me off the jump! 😂 Please keep up the content J - You have a genuine talent for this KZbin thing.

[@drinya88]

George Lucas did a HUGE mistake, when sold Star Wars to Disney.

[@doncoyote68]

There has to be some director or ceo or manager somewhere that's pocketed like 90% of the budget for this show as 'salary'. This has to be a scam.

[@DarthMerlin]

2:12 - What makes this even funnier is that, in Star Wars, spice is a narcotic.

[@gaelstromproductions]

Been going through the EFAP backlog and got introduced to you, and I'm so glad you were present for watchalongs and such. You are an amazing match to Mauler's deadpan, and Rags's sarcasm in those contexts. Your assessments are well thought out and also so energetic, I love it! Glad I subbed thanks to discovering you there!

Oh boy have you got to the point where apparently some moron thinks and accuses J of being a white man who says the N-word a lot?

[@bocar4127]

My whole family except me watched like 2 episodes of the show without me (I was busy at the time) and proceeded to go on whole RANTS about how bad it was and it was hilarious to hear them all piece together bits of whatever they had just seen. This is gold

[@Anna-fw7lm]

'Spice Cream' ... well, the Spice, in Star Wars is like our Coke (not the cola)

[@kingbash6466]

This show is like everything wrong with Modern Star Wars. Genuinely more embarrassing than the Holiday Special because at least that one wasn't supposed to be taken seriously.

[@OpinionatedChicken59]

But… it’s got the most diverse cast possible? And by diverse I of course mean as few white people, especially straight white MEN, as possible, there’s literally one white person and she’s in an interracial lesbian space relationship! Diversity is all you need to make a good tv show!❤❤❤❤

[@Quazi-moto]

I wanna see a breakdown of where that $180 million was spent. Where did it go? Damn sure not on top-tier actors, nor a ton of CGI everywhere you look. How is this batshit-crazy spending not raising every eyebrow at the IRS?

[@kwc1138]

Mass money laundering. Probably siphoned off to buy assets like land or gold .. preparing for “Build back better”

[@fuzzwobble]

"There's only four of them." Jedi. Four Jedi. The most feared soldiers in the universe. Infamous for soloing entire forces without even getting dirt of their robes... and there's four of them. I'm supposed to believe these witches know what Jedi are and hate them, but think ambushing them might be possible.

[@lexfrenchy8159]

The narcissism at work behind this project is something else. Imagine working on SW and say "The Force ? Nah I don't believe in that, surely Lucas forgot something. We have to change it."

[@davidevangelist4847]

“Lego Head Lesbian” killed me 🤣😂