The Bear 3x10 - Carmy Confronts Chef David (Joel McHale)

[@SeyhawksNow]

The worst part about this scene is how realistic it is. We all have that person we'd love to unleash hell on for that thing they did to us, but the truth is it was barely a blip on their radar, and they'd never even care to apologize.

[@AnkhGirl]

That's a narcissist's job. That's why you ignore them completely and seek your healing elsewhere.

[@neoasura]

Thats why I learned long ago to not give a rats ass about people who wronged me in the past, they won't live rent free in my head.

[@Keawe]

​@@nickcara97ight bro.😂

[@mymedsstoppedworking]

Or worse, barely remembered what they did...

[@dairymilkbaraddict90]

This applies to too many people who made my life hell in school tbh

[@cailinduffy1479]

This was heartbreaking and very realistic. Confronting someone from your past rarely goes how you wanted it to.

[@barbados3592]

that's bc we want them to tell us things we don't have the guts to admit to ourselves.

[@bigfriendlybeachretard]

​@@barbados3592nah. I think usually and also in yhis clip, it's because we want an acknowledgement and an appology. What kind of interactions are you having that you want people to answer with uncomfortable truths about you??

[@story3877]

And that's why I'll never speak to my childhood bully again. Why would I ever want to let that toxicity near me again.

[@knives5964]

​@@barbados3592this is false unless you're. Whole thing was a joke. Someome who made you a victim isn't someone to see as a truth teller.

[@meatymateo705]

the fact that chef winger pretended to forget his name, considering that he was staring back at carm the whole time too, is just fucking sociopathic. I love joel mchale in this role, he’s like Omega Jeff back when he was a lawyer

[@ariqsyafwan4987]

i don't think he "pretended" to forgot his name, i think mispronounced his name on purpose because; one, he knows how much the "Berzatto" means to Carmy so he's trying (and succeeding) to belittle Carmy before the conversation even begin, and two, people usually mispronounce someone name because either they were really close and it was meant as an endearing nickname or because they see those people as someone WAAY beneath them, so much so that their name is not worth to be remembered properly, guess which one that chef David is...

[@firemarshallbob4540]

It’s much more simple that David is a real sociopath in the show. Joel McHale is just such a good actor too he puts up this masque of uncaring when in front of of Carm

[@johnappleseed6210]

I like that they call him david fields at the start but we still see him as jeff winger

[@tomimn2233]

Winger recognizes him and his face but Carmy never registered as something significant to Winger.

[@Jonathan-om1wq]

Dark timeline Jeff.

[@hannahhiggins3876]

"I think about you too much" Hit me like a ton of bricks

[@tofupowda]

"i dont think about you"

[@williammccormick984]

@@tofupowda Thank you Mad Men.

[@dairymilkbaraddict90]

​@@tofupowdathat cut deep

[@openedcolt4]

That’s because you are gay

[@user-bj1mx2ip1c]

The chef was from a privlidged background...people from normal or privlidged lives don't understand real struggle and think their little job was how hard the world really is.

[@pyroAdapt]

I was so expecting carmy to Deck the shit out of him when he came back out of the restroom but it's easy to forget sometimes that Lip and carmy are not the same person lol

[@GoblinFootball13]

Yeah, Lip would have destroyed the whole building and then he'd have got captured by the cops 😂

[@scoodaninee_9925]

lol I always compare the 2 characters too lol they both have anger issues tho 😭

[@williammccormick984]

That's fucking dumb. Shameless sucked and actors play different characters. Get over it.

[@yoboinicossman]

Would not habe shocked me lmao

[@alexpereira6528]

@@GoblinFootball13 Ha i thought the same thing too

[@Gypsycamile]

Classic Winger

[@neoasura]

I love Chef Winger

[@anishpatel3118]

*notches*

[@MrMcChuckles95]

6 seasons and a movie

[@shatterjack]

6 courses and a digestiv

[@christiantorre1]

streets ahead

[@kernalspop]

Him saying “Still have these huh?” About the decorations after multiple people stopped to admire them is such a smart and subtle way to show just how much of an asshole David is. Brilliant writing.

[@spearofconquest]

it is perfect. even a funeral dinner he's invited too, he still shits on the best restaurant in the world because thats just who he is. A snarky guy whose words cut bone deep, because of how much talent he has.

[@空心菜沒用]

@@spearofconquestThe subtract is really good lesson

[@mochimilan]

Who admired the decorations?

[@Coffeepanda294]

@@空心菜沒用 Doesn't change the fact that he's an a-hole.

[@spearofconquest]

@@mochimilan Richie in season 2. Carmy also in episode one of season 3 when he firsts get to Ever.

[@markt2398]

Reminds me of the movie Whiplash. The abusive mentors who think this level of fuckery is good for their mentees is pretty sociopathic. You can push someone and inspire someone to be great without treating them like dogshit.

[@thongly5726]

The point of whiplash and here is that the abuse DID work.

[@asdasasdas3476]

For about a week then the mentee kills themselves , a masterpiece should be able to live longer then under a year or even a moment , otherwise it’s just a slightly prettier metaphorical fire work

[@sobersteve9411]

Yes there are Olympic gold medalists with great and encouraging mentors or coaches, and they don’t result in trauma. Abuse to the point of perfection is not worth it. Think typical asian parents vs encouraging parents, both children turn out successful. But the Asian parent one has significantly more trauma.

[@goneyon]

@@thongly5726 In Whiplash, Fletcher's former protege literally killed himself not long after striking out on his own. The director even commented that Neiman's likely fate is dying of a drug overdose in his 30s. Abuse doesn't work. It diminishes the genius that it claims to elevate, prevents many more people from even trying, and will always be justified like this: if you succeeded, it's because you were abused, and if you failed, it's because you weren't good enough. The abuser is never held to be at fault, no matter how clear it is that they are responsible.

[@someangel-shape6797]

@@thongly5726that really isn’t the point . I think the point both stories make is that people go to great lengths and put themselves through insane abuse to pursue their dreams, and when they finally achieve them they are so dead inside that it doesn’t matter. They become the best but they lose out on ever being happy again.

[@TheBlackKakashi]

I think Luca threw that "used to be the best chef in the world" to let Carmy know that he's the best

[@kiritosintern]

Everyone needs a bestie like that fr

[@TheBlackKakashi]

@@kiritosinternfacts

[@perrybryan]

I’m so glad we got to see so much of Luca this season

[@ryanbradshaw3813]

i think it was more just to let carmy know he shouldn't hold so much weight on him anymore, to let it go, which carmy cant.

[@nickatwork]

Or that he's not a chef anymore

[@niamh864]

"I think about you too much" "I don't think about you" That really hits home. There are things that people say and do to you that you may never forget and it can have such a huge effect on your life. But to them it means nothing. They might not even remember it or if they do they don't care. Such a painful truth in life.

[@BatmanHQYT]

The axe forgets but the tree remembers. (Funny enough, Richie's character in Andor says this line.)

[@niamh864]

@@BatmanHQYT Wow I don't think I ever heard that proverb before. Love that, so true

[@SchnuKol85]

Reminded me directly of Mad Men

[@lomishotmail]

@@SchnuKol85 kzbin.info/www/bejne/f6KpkHRsl9ise9k

[@Opr8rScorch]

The response was calculated and probably not true but exactly what carm needed to hear

[@david_sowers]

“Oh god… are you one of those single tear people?”

[@tonysanchez8288]

Right on! That was perfect!

[@marsayde1237]

Do I look like a double fucking rainbow to you?

[@ilnas8242]

Aaaww fck me…imagine if he also the head chef in same kitchen.😮

[@tacosombrero1879]

Same energy.

[@aseem2985]

Miles teller and Jeremy Allen got the same vibes especially neiman and carmy lmfao and yes I was thinking exactly about the “single tear” while watching this scene.

[@loco_logic]

Damn, he hit him with the Don Draper "I don't think about you at all". But i think that's pretty much a lie anyway, because he was clearly familiar with Carmen's accomplishments over the years. Seems like he's just saying whatever he can to get under Carm's skin.

[@grupo_00]

David came to the The Bear once, didn’t he? Or did Carmen imagine it? The relationship between these two people screams Whiplash and it makes me see what you’re talking about David probably just trying to get under Carmen’s skin.

[@GrigoriiCrab]

@@grupo_00came here just to find answer to this question in comments, lol

[@loco_logic]

@@grupo_00 yeah, carm totally imagined David being at the Bear. It was just a random dude who kinda looked like him.

[@WrenchNinja]

The Don Draper thing is the same thing. Don thinks about what others think of him deeply.

[@jaylanthompson]

They were staring at each other the whole time too, he was just being an ass

[@Bread_Bug]

Carmy spent so much time doubting himself because he still heard David telling him he’s terrible in his head.. then he finally hears him say he’s excellent. That his whole goal was to push him to rid all his humanity and solely become a great chef. And it worked. It reminds me of what Andrea Terry says, about how she quit because she missed sleeping in late, and going to london, and having parties. Human stuff. Even syd and luca talking just moments before about repurposing your trauma into a dish. Sacrificing their humanity in pursuit of this craft that feeds other people’s humanity

[@Dunkingsonn]

It reminds me of Whiplash where the aspiring drumming kid gets completely abused to hell in order to be the best at the expense of his personal wellbeing.

[@Blashmack]

Basically the same concept as in boot camp/basic training in some branches of the military, where they try to break you down and strip away your "previous self" in order to mold you into something else.

[@Dapryor]

@@Dunkingsonn that’s a great comparison.

[@am1na1996]

​@@Blashmack Except that, by and large, most modern military acknowledge that sometimes it doesn't work (bootcamp still have a non-zero fail rate, even if it is very low) AND that it only work in the context of relatively consenting adults ie volunteers AND successful reintergration into civ life is... less than stellar (but that is more PTSD). That method doesnt really work if the other party resist it and the "abusive" party have no authority to force them to stay or punish them otherwise ie being abusive without the social/culture authority of parent child, mentor mentee, sergeant grunts, etc

[@LAST.L1FE]

Damn. Couldn't of said it better myself.

[@crozraven]

"he made himself cry, that was his choice to cry."

[@keithfilibeck2390]

I know that chef quote, lol.

[@aadliafiq]

Ahhh yes Marco 'women are too emotional behind the line, while throwing a temper tantrum over an ice cream' Pierre White

[@DibbzTV]

😂 Poor Gordon

[@lukedaley17]

Chef David is practically the Terrence Fletcher of the show.

[@majestros729]

that's exactly what he was. no chef david no chef carm

[@angelsilva7207]

I agree

[@TheBlackKakashi]

Not my tempo literally

[@BatmanHQYT]

I was hoping JK Simmons would guest star this season, he'd fit in very naturally on the show. Maybe as one of Cicero's friends.

[@natesnow]

@@BatmanHQYTthat would’ve fit well

[@aksharaghav9657]

Jeremy is brilliant, but Joel McHale is just so terrifying in this role.

[@ryanbesco8067]

Joel McHale is this exact person in real life.

[@DoctorSess]

I didn’t find him terrifying at all. Quite the opposite: he was pathetic to me. Belittling others isn’t how you push them to greatness. It’s not what a leader does. It’s not what a good chef does.

[@x97s]

I fully agree with you, cant stand people like this ​@@DoctorSess

[@Jordanaune23]

I feel like they made him look like Lucifer

[@kevinmok3722]

@@ryanbesco8067 what are you talking about, he is so funny in real life

[@mmartin1842]

this was one of my favorite scenes in s3. The music, the dialogue, and Jeremy’s acting- it combined to make a very rare emotionally vulnerable moment for carmy’s character. no doubt, as an aspiring actor, I will come back to it as an inspiration!

[@silver292]

The other crazy thing is that Carmy is starting to realise HE'S become just like that chief! Creating a culture in his kitchen of stress and elitism and anger and anxiety and dictatorship. Juxtapose that with his experience at Ever restaurant. He learned SO much but the Chef never allowed him to ramp up the attitude and always dealt with him in a calm and slow way.

[@Coffeepanda294]

Yeah, Season 3 really brought home to me how Carmen is as tyrannical in the kitchen as he is because of what David did to him. I feel stupid for not seeing it sooner.

[@nigelgolightly8327]

i disagree carmie deals with all his staff very fairly, its his staff who are the fuck ups and he tries to help them and they flounder and fail. the chef he is traumatized for is worthy of being villified. i wouldnt have let sydney back into the kitchen after they walked out, let alone apologise.

[@Coffeepanda294]

@@nigelgolightly8327 "carmie deals with all his staff very fairly" Umm...

[@nigelgolightly8327]

@@Coffeepanda294 what do you mean> he does. he's trying to shape up a shop full of losers. He doesn't owe them anything tbh but he always ends up apologising and taking the blame for the character faults of his staff. sydney is a trash worker, walking out after leaving the prorders opened. why did carm have to apologise to her ? why did he even bother giving her.a second chance

[@Coffeepanda294]

@@nigelgolightly8327 Don't even know where to start with this one

[@thrileikur]

"my life stopped." "that's the point. […]" say what you want about the rest of this season but if we weren't going to have carmy confront his mom this is the second best thing

[@BatmanHQYT]

The real closure with Donna was with Nat.

[@TheeKittyPie]

@@BatmanHQYTwould it be possible for you to upload the scene where Donna tells Nat about her birth because that moment was so beautiful and wholesome

[@BatmanHQYT]

​@@TheeKittyPieSure

[@undeadmonkey683]

They’ll take credit if you succeed, and never remember if you fail

[@GOsborn-o6x]

Joel McHale portrayed the perfect amount of arrogance and smarminess for this role. An unapologetic a-hole, consumed by greatness and who expected it in others. But uncaring in knowing it came at the expense of their own well being and the realization that as long their greatness was only secondary to his.

[@MrDukeSilverr]

Probably wasn’t too much of a reach for him

[@fishbone3333]

@@MrDukeSilverr Great comment on a great comment. Double like!

[@JoSheperd]

​@@MrDukeSilverrWhy is the actor an asshole in real life

[@gamemonster7]

Carmy looked like he wanted to shank him with a fork

[@marsayde1237]

I was hoping he would. But then I forgot, this isn’t Lip.

[@dairymilkbaraddict90]

He should have

[@derekjohnson8910]

He did at the start. But by the end, he was so disarmed by Chef David’s nuclear dismissal of his pain, not even Lip would have been able to shank him.

[@Coffeepanda294]

I was sure he was going to hit him in the face.

[@BoringM3]

Or a spoon

[@SaberRexZealot]

Joel McHale is too good at playing an unrelenting asshole lol

[@harryadam7679]

Seems like he’s got experience lol

[@frankz5103]

@@harryadam7679for an ex jock turned actor…. Yeah I don’t see it 😂😂😂

[@Mike-fd1lq]

Doesn't hurt that he's also terrifyingly large next to Carm

[@ulyssesocounter8488]

To be fair, he’s also good at playing the lovable a-hole.

[@yee2631]

​@@ulyssesocounter8488Wtf is a "lovable asshole"? Just say he's good at playing an asshole.

[@tofupowda]

the single tear that fell from his eyes. give JAW the emmy

[@Goosavich]

Emmy* Oscars are for movies

[@sherrymaynard5588]

JAW at his best!!

[@katykins2010]

He’ll get his third Emmy I guarantee that much.

[@thebendphoto]

Yeah he was acting his ass off here. Dude Is incredible.

[@randomassperson101]

they just did lets fuckin go

[@fern__]

"I think about you too much." "I don't think about you" is such a simple, yet soul crushing interaction.

[@juiceman_3]

When you run into that one ex 🥲

[@LooseOnTheGoose]

Don Draper drops a similar line like a boss in Mad Men 😂

[@KadayiPolokov]

'Dude, you need to unclutch your pearls'

[@NOMADcourier85]

@KadayiPolokov I honestly found this as a odd thing for him to say like what century are you living in dude? 😆😆😆🤔

[@KadayiPolokov]

@@NOMADcourier85 Well Chef David is an odd character lets be honest. Still I think the realisation for Carmy might be that he's effectively become the very person that he hates over the season, and turned into Chef David for everyone else at The Bear. The pity is we didn't get to see that payoff this season regrettably.

[@tofupowda]

@@KadayiPolokov how is that a pity? trauma isn't fixed in 10 episodes. s4 is the payoff. you guys want to rush writing so bad and the show would be so much worse off if you got your way

[@CharifRocka]

​@@NOMADcourier85Very common saying, not odd at all.

[@NOMADcourier85]

@CharifRocka "Well I'm from Utica and I've never heard it"

[@Jormbis]

The subtle acting from Jeremy Allen White is so good here. He’s shaking in both fear and anger as if his body has so much emotion that he could literally explode. It’s both genuinely heartbreaking and terrifying.

[@FitzroyReyes1491]

"Shut up Carmy, I traumatized you into excellence."

[@The__Gent]

Then went to take a piss.

[@morganhobson8941]

Something I like about this scene is that it presents the "cost of greatness" story you've seen a thousand times before while adding the detail you don't often see: when the cost is actually too much. Carm went through years of psychological trauma to become an excellent cook, but what it did to his personality is also what makes him frequently the heaviest burden in the kitchen. His food is excellent, but his waitstaff has a high turnover. He can read the quality of a dish well, but that sometimes means he'll never let a dish go out the door. We can then see the alternative with Olivia Coleman's character. She knew to apply pressure but also understood that attention doesn't have to be demeaning. Sometimes it feels like we're seeing different realities with each kitchen he's worked in where people have a different understanding of what it means to be a good teacher.

[@Ckwon117]

insightful comment man. no fluff in there. Good contribution

[@SteamedMilkStudio]

Fire comment

[@tbuckley2031]

A kitchen being aloud environment doesn’t mean it’s a negative environment

[@ToyotaCorolla-en2mv]

​@@tbuckley2031 loud is not the issue. Toxicity is. Be fr

[@211queenbee]

And when Carmy realizes he's perpetuating the cycle with Sydney...which is why she's gonna leave next season

[@majestros729]

I think you're on to something there. Next Arc is Carm learning you can bring the results without the baggage and him and Syd reconcile or don't but recognize it.

[@feyrband]

@@majestros729 not sure how many more seasons of this to expect, but from the standpoint of the legacy theme- it would make sense for a generally good review to bring in a new candidate/s to replace Syd, while she goes off and Carmy's branch of the family tree begins. not sure about the money problems though.

[@majestros729]

@@feyrband yeah i dont know where they are going with the ending of S3. Looks like Syd is out and she's gonna find out that the other chef is just like Carm and maybe a reunion? maybe a new concept resty? Someone buys out the uncle? Its got at least 1 more season i think. They will want to go out on a high if they can.

[@brettbrettson69]

We can only hope discount Donald Glover goes

[@211queenbee]

@@brettbrettson69 who?

[@RK-dc2es]

There really is this bizarre tendency for teachers/mentors in creative fields to believe "I have to terrorize and abuse you to make you good at this" and, the worst part is, they often manage to convince you that it's true. Like, when I was in art school, mental breakdowns were so common that the teachers created a general rule that the bathroom was the designated crying zone. And when I transferred to another art school that DIDN'T abuse students, I genuinely thought it meant I wasn't getting a very good education because the first school indoctrinated me into believing you NEED to be abused.

[@dirtyASSS]

no. its because the second school demanded nothing of you. You would have been better in the first school.

[@CherryBlossomBlyue]

I think it's cause a lot of of them were taught that way so they think it's the norm

[@misanthropicservitorofmars2116]

@@Combfishand now you’re a no name artists barely getting by, right? Youre not a great.

[@zaneplatt3533]

​@@misanthropicservitorofmars2116 Many, many great artists are brilliant and successful without needing to be abused.

[@misanthropicservitorofmars2116]

@@zaneplatt3533 the vast majority are nobodies who fail to gain any real recognition.

[@lessthanthreemetal]

"You got great. You got excellent. It worked. You're here. Look at all this." That was everything Carmen had ever wanted to hear from David, and yet it cut him to the bone because of what it cost.

[@BatmanHQYT]

Exactly. Pretty brilliant (and twisted) how David uses compliments and acknowledgments as a weapon against Carmy.

[@nicholascaspers8693]

I think Fields was a good guy, and did more to help Carmy than anyone else. He was very clear, Carmy could walk away and be a fair chef with love and calm in his life, or he could sacrifice everything and be the best. And the end that is true for all off use, we could run more, lift more, work harder and become more, but at a price.

[@Bluemgwes]

I was honestly expecting Carmy to deck him. I wanted him to. His rage was so palpable and I hope David gets what’s coming to him. Jeremy Allen White was so damn good in this scene and Joel McHale plays such a convincing asshole.

[@BatmanHQYT]

I half expected him to snap and go full Lip Gallagher on the fucker

[@realMarkholla]

Most of the time, in real life, assholes like David don’t get any Karmic Repentance. Maybe in fiction.

[@paigestation8229]

The way Carm’s face stays stoic until a tear finally falls and he looks angry about it because he failed to suppress his feelings 🤌🏻🤌🏻

[@britneyfirestone5803]

I feel like the child in carmy is talking to his adult self here. He’s adopted the worst qualities of the people who have hurt him and sitting at that table hearing other respectable chefs talk about culture subconsciously touched him. He’s confronting who he has become and hopefully now he can move on and collect characteristics from chefs like Andrea terry

[@BatmanHQYT]

Brilliant analysis. I think this was indeed the point of having all the chefs appear, beyond just Storer flexing the show's clout. Carmy is just starting his own restaurant and committing himself to an outdated school of thought, all the while hearing these legends talk about how averse they are to a tyrannical, dysfunctional kitchen.

[@dannypitcherenterprises2414]

Such a sad scene because it reflects real life. There's no bother in confronting those who wronged you because they wouldn't care to apologise. To you it hurt, to them it was another Tuesday.

[@gotchewz]

“I didn’t make him cry, he made himself cry. He chose to cry.” 😂😂

[@davidortiz3094]

Marco is a legend

[@yadoog]

3:48 When you've been trying to learn how to cry on command for weeks and you finally get your first tear out

[@Servantofthearts]

Really you had to learn for weeks? My overall emotional health is so poor I just need to think about the past a couple of seconds before ripping a new river 😂

[@villepalmu348]

@@Servantofthearts My mental health is so poor that I lost the ability to cry or care years ago. I can still cry out of happiness but anything bad happens etc I'm just sorta numb to it. But its definitely not a good thing cuz of the endless apathy, tiredness, guilt and melancholy that comes with this thing called depression. Tbh sounds to me like you still have hope if you are able to cry, so at least that is sort of a good thing.

[@pinegang3224]

@@villepalmu348man get outside

[@OhHeBustin]

​@@villepalmu348 big cringe

[@yadoog]

@@villepalmu348 sir go outside

[@Carlos_Quintero_]

3:50 That slight anger release Carmy let out after letting that teardrop fall was such a nice detail

[@ItspronouncedAaron]

This was easily one of the top scenes (if not the top) of Season 3.

[@TheBlackKakashi]

The best scene of we’re being honest

[@BatmanHQYT]

Was my favorite individual scene. Nat/Donna heart to heart had a number of Emmy worthy moments. Loved the Tina/Mikey scene too.

[@Timmy2Dope]

0:54 when I first watched this scene I thought he was gonna say “hates black people with a passion” 😂

[@kekakid05]

Love how abusive persons take credit for making their victim "better". Smh. Great scene.

[@OhWellWhatTheHell1]

One of the scenes that actually hit this season and it’s because they actually had a real confrontation. Hoping for more of these types of conversations in S4

[@MultiNadiam]

The network asked the writers to turn one tight final season into two fluffed up seasons- I fully expect next season to contain all the good stuff, this one was just fun cameos and cute slice of life.

[@jac1207]

This is absolutely what would happen in Whiplash if Andrew didn’t get in the car accident and continued the path under Fletcher, and then many years down the line, before he finally breaks, Andrew confronts Fletcher.

[@majestros729]

Exactly. In my mind the real villain of Whiplash was Andrew's initial quality of being "not put together" or unfocused, that led to all of his woes in that story. He knew academically that the sacrifice would be great but he didn't "practically know" and that manifested in the accident, losing things, emotional instability (exacerbated by Fletcher's shall we say abrasive approach). Except I don't think he breaks down the line he just asks himself was it worth it and the only 2 people that get the asked and answered question that they want are Andrew and Fletcher.

[@cynicalmemester1694]

​@@majestros729It was Andrew's obsession with perfection and Fletcher's abuse that ruined his life.

[@vittoriacolona]

This is why you don't hold grudges against people like this. They don't care. Leave them to the Universe and carry on with your life.

[@janicereid5798]

This doesn't work.

[@paperhat_boi]

​@@janicereid5798then what?

[@Crimson28]

I know what Carmy wanted. He wanted some cathartic confrontation with his bully. I’m telling everyone from experience, people like him will never apologize for the things they said. Carmy had ulcer and lost sleep but to Chef Joel McHale, it was a Tuesday.

[@timb4248]

This is true. Even if they feel some remorse, they are going to give you the "get over it and grow up" line before admitting any wrongdoing.

[@ogion539]

This is a great scene to me. I went through something similar to this with someone who I once cared about. The realization that I made at that time, was that some people just get to hurt you and you really can't do anything to them in return. I feel like Carmy goes through the exact same sort of thing here. Nothing can erase the trauma he endured, and yes he turned into a fantastic chef, but that trauma will be there until he can train himself not to think about it. It's funny lol. These people totally do exist in life and they basically get away with their abuse scott-free. Sometimes all you can do is just let it go.

[@tofupowda]

i think when dealing with a situation/someone like this, you must realize that it's not about you, it's entirely about them,; the abuser. some people are just out to get you (sometimes just anyone they have access to), and regardless of what you did, doesn't change the way they were going to act anyways.

[@kiwiana6190]

Yeah, this scene really hit home for a lot of people, including me.

[@OliverHunter-00chef]

@@tofupowdaI was a CSA victim, your comment resonates so much, a large breakthrough for me was acceptance that even though the CSA was awful it wasn’t personal

[@Yukiwodashite]

*Chef Winger Steps around the corner* Abed: "Bullied the protagonist into greatness. Classic villain move. " Jeff: "Not now Abed."

[@JonSudano]

I think David not only remembers who he is but believes deep down that Carmy was the best sous he's ever had, he just doesn't want to fill Carmy's head with flowery nonsense so he loses sight of why he does this in the first place. He's a bastard, but a thoughtful bastard.

[@tannerjmewborn7470]

Didn’t expect to see you here Jon!

[@tofupowda]

agreed. he was trying to justify what he did and kept playing the part. david is still a terrible person and it doesn't excuse the fact that he practically ruined carmy's life but his intentions are centered around carmy becoming the best chef he can be.

[@anxiouschef]

I don't think Carmy was the sous with him. Carmy was the CDC and David was the Executive chef. That's why Carmy was running the expo. Syd also mentioned he was the best CDC at the best restaurant and that's the one at New York with David.

[@JonSudano]

@@anxiouschef My bad, I misunderstood the hierarchy.

[@chadwarden8664]

@@tannerjmewborn7470 leave the guy alone, he's here to comment on the show not have chumps identify him with bullshit like "didn't expect to see you here omg"

[@Mushruums]

“Dude you need to unclutch your pearls” I love that line

[@realchezboi]

Perfectly manipulative and nonchalant “It’s YOUR fault for being OVERdramatic”

[@The__Gent]

Gaslighting 101

[@projectcapsule]

chef winger

[@oldmanlogan9616]

lol

[@joeyk606]

Saw this scene & realized this may be the single best acting performance by anybody in years. Reminds me of Al Pacino in Godfather 2 when he finds out about the abortion. So little words in both performances, all the acting is focused in their faces, clenched jaws, furrowed brows, glassy eyes. Absolutely incredible.

[@BatmanHQYT]

JAW does remind me of a young Pacino in the steely resolve and intensity he puts behind his sad eyes.

[@IanWeaver]

This is the problem with a narcissist, and why you should never confront them if you have the chance. They treat you like shit, because they want to use you. If you fall and crash, no skin off their back, they move on. But if you succeed and become better, they always claim "It's because I pushed you." They can never admit fault for what they did to you, it either made you stronger or wrecked you, but you will never AND I MEAN NEVER get an apology.

[@luvvbnz]

IS MY MOM A NARC..?

[@leila7254]

Jeremy Allen White is amazing during the whole exchange he's almost trembling as if he's one inch away to either break down in tears or rip the guy in pieces with his bare hands

[@BatmanHQYT]

His performance is what gave this scene its tension.

[@ASocialMediaConsumer]

Gawd damn. So good. Joel McHale!!! Jeremy Allen White!!! Both performances seem so different from the actors' personalities.

[@BatmanHQYT]

McHale playing a menacing sociopath this convincingly is quite jarring.

[@navirbox4913]

@@BatmanHQYT i didn't even recognize him and i loved community. incredible

[@hughgrection5674]

Brilliant scene. The mixture of hatred, fear and realisation is difficult to depict, but brilliantly mastered. Bravo 👏

[@kaylasmith3081]

Joel is seriously underrated!!!! Love his comedy work, but I would love to see him take more serious roles.

[@BatmanHQYT]

He'd join the amazing trend of comedians nailing dramatic roles. Cranston, Bateman, Hader, Sudeikis, and so forth. Abby Elliott and Ayo Edebiri also have comedy backgrounds.

[@KingHeroKinnie]

The truth is this is when you have to start standing up for yourself no matter what the circumstances. If you don’t, people will take advantage of you and they’ll won’t even acknowledge or remember the damage.

[@ybn8830]

Jesus yes.

[@MultiNadiam]

And then they try to take credit for your “new backbone.” But hopefully they’re doing that in your rearview mirror as you’re on your way to something better.

[@creategenius719]

I like how the show demonstrates a common psychological phenomenon where people tend to hyper-fixate on negative experiences and allow them to overshadow positive ones. Like, the saying it takes five positive comments to make up for one negative one. Carmy has fixated on Fields' abuse and allowed it to shape his mindset as a chef. To the point that he has begun behaving like him and is now causing high levels of stress and anxiety in Sydney. However, he allows himself to drown in that abuse and he forgets about all the kind and encouraging mentors he had during his training, like Chef Terry for example. We see them in S3 E1 along with Fields. The treatment Carmy received from Fields was so detrimental to his mental health that it seems he cannot pull from the positive experiences he had while learning how to cook.

[@nancya7289]

100% disagree. Carmy's treatment of Sydney is not abusive. It's less skillful than it should be. Big difference. Also, Carmy has been abused/traumatized. Thinking about the trauma obsessively signals that he has not been able to process the experience. This isn't a cognitive distortion. It's a trauma symptom. Bad analysis.

[@JohnZannisPies]

​@@nancya7289 loud and wrong

[@nancya7289]

@@JohnZannisPies who me? Ok!

[@sullivandmitry1416]

@@nancya7289it is abusive, even though it is not nearly as cruel, but it is still hostile and abusive. Syd is far from my favorite character, and she needs a lot of development to be even a semblance of a humble person, but Carmy is absolutely abusive in his kitchen. Cousin is a great example, as Cousin is a prime example of a worker who does not deserve to be kept on as anything. Carmy, instead of taking cousin aside in private to tell him that although his concerns and disagreements are ok but his shouting and yelling and cursing is not warranted in public, continues to argue and swear back with cousin and yell in front of all his crew. This makes him a bad boss, it makes him just as petty and vindictive as cousin, and it shows his inability to be calm. He yells at his workers when they mess up, he yells in general due to his stress and anger, he berates his workers for being too slow or for not preparing a dish in the same design as himself, and all of this is abusive. A boss can criticize his workers in ways where the atmosphere is calm and constructive, a boss can sometimes get stressed so long as he does not take it out on his workers, a boss can punish in front of others without becoming cruel or petty, but Carmy does little of this in his work. To be fair to him, all of the people working in the Bear are without a doubt some of the most hostile people I have ever seen, but Carmy is in charge and is failing to inspire any level of respect. He gives attitude to Sydney and expects her to pick up on his slack whenever he damn well pleases, he argues in front of the crew with cousin even though it is clearly a show of a lack of respect and cousin should be fired for his attitude, he has fights with his boss in front of them all about money, he yells and screams when he doesn’t like something (as shown with the bowls in season 3), he swears constantly to assert authority or haste, he ushers on unreasonable expectations to the entire crew with his chaos menu, he goes out of his way to change the seating design and table arrangement even though Cousin has been assigned the duty of being in charge of the front, he often just half heartedly apologizes to Sydney at the end of the day to apologize for his treatment instead of changing or fixing his treatment, no one in the kitchen feels comfortable talking to him about their concerns or disagreements, and worst of all he inspires no one to try to work their best but only to work hard. Carmy is a good guy, he is a good man, but he is not a great boss and he is 100% abusive in the kitchen.

[@nancya7289]

@@sullivandmitry1416 Love that you are so passionate and engaged with the story. Disagree with your interpretation, tho.

[@kristencooper2111]

I thought for sure Carmy was gonna deck him wish he had! Jeremy all white is so freaking amazing in this scene His acting is unreal!

[@adanrios7951]

According to Joel McHale - Chef David is modeled on Thomas Keller. The real Thomas Keller appears in the opening of this episode but in a more positive helpful light.

[@BatmanHQYT]

That was one of the most hilarious ironies of the show - both that they got Keller to agree to play himself despite this, and for portraying him as this gentle, patient tutor. Though I've heard he has indeed changed his ways from being a tyrant in the kitchen, as has Marco Pierre White.

[@JK-ok7lm]

@@BatmanHQYT I had no idea. Keller really did change since he comes across as more affable in the videos whereas MPW just still exudes arrogance (despite being an earned one).

[@AnthonyJMurph]

I thought McHale was supposed to be Charlie Trotter. He has the glasses like him. Chicago's greatest Chef was TERRORIZED by Trotter at his restaurant.

[@elgringogarcia12]

Jeremy is the Actor of his generation. What a performance!

[@maxryan9052]

The fact that Joel Mchales character acknowledges that Carmys restaurant is a success actually shows that he does in fact remember him, keep an eye on him, and as a chef is probably impressed.

[@blackcorp0001]

Whatever doesnt kill you ... just makes you stronger ... and stranger

[@Blashmack]

and gives you ulcers

[@oddd2833]

​@@Blashmack and panic attack

[@Blashmack]

David Fields saying "I don't think about you" to Carm has the same energy as Don Draper saying "I don't think about you at all" to Michael Ginsberg in Mad Men.

[@neoasura]

But also at the same time, Don did think about him and how he didn't want to get showed up, I think Chef Winger is the same here with Carmy.

[@jwells1914]

The Mad Men parallels in this show are everywhere. Carmy & Syd are the modern Don & Peggy.

[@gato321biel]

i thought the same thing when i was watching

[@BatmanHQYT]

Except I think Fields actually meant it. Don was genuinely threatened by Ginsberg's success.

[@marcdumont2275]

That's because it's the same line.

[@Deceptxn]

Typical narcissistic abuse. Not taking accountabilty for contributing to the psychological issues one is already going through. Makes you feel bad for Carmy and wishing that he could have received an apology from one of his mentors.

[@Hoenhime344]

Some individuals rise above pride. Some swim in it.

[@Deceptxn]

@@Hoenhime344 David been drowning in it, sadly.

[@anupambphoto]

I find it fascinating. That carmy has had other very healthy mentors who did not tough love him to be better. But it comes back to traumatic situations that drown out everything else.

[@SoFloCo-ne4rk]

@@anupambphoto Achieving greatness is never easy. It always comes at a price. Is the price worth it? I guess everybody has to decide that for themselves.

[@jac1207]

It might be the timeline of events. He supposedly goes to New York right after that disastrous family Christmas party. Goes to work in an extremely abusive environment, then he finds out his older brother killed himself. That’s kind of a sequence of crap in a row.

[@crookshankspaw2829]

Seeing people who have ruined your life at some point or changed the person you are in a bad way continue on as if nothing happened, realizing that they don't see it as your right to react, preparing a confrontation speech in your head for a very long time, knowing that what you say will not matter to that person and that they already started to think that they right from the first second. Maybe I've never felt so sorry for Carmy.

[@ThePauseMenuVlog]

He's a great actor that needs great writing. You give him a tree branch in an open field and with a great written scene he can act out anything you want. I sincerely want him to go on to be in everything he can to make some of the best content in cinema and television. Great scene.

[@anuncertaincalm]

Jeremy? Or Joel? Because, both.

[@ThePauseMenuVlog]

@@anuncertaincalm well yes both but mainly Jeremy

[@scifinerd17]

One thing I really like about this scene is the line David giving Carmy a warning “Dude, you need to un-clutch your pearls” and the snide look he gives Carmen. He’s baiting him, what I read from it is him saying “If you wanna punch me in the face, go ahead. Do it, I dare you, but before you do think about your friends. Do you really want them to suffer for your mistake?” David Fields has way too much money, power, and status within the food industry. If Carmen hits him, he’s finished. David will destroy his reputation, customers will stop eating at The Bear, the restaurant will go out of business and close down, and all of his friends will be out of a job.

[@BatmanHQYT]

Solid interpretation. I think that's why he waits and stares at him after saying that line instead of just going to the bathroom. He was testing him a bit.

[@drumnbasssakuga9352]

I disagree. I think David means it. He thinks Carmy should look back at it the same way a child looks back at their parents spanking them for being a delinquent in youth-as ultimately thankful that it made them better. He’s not trying to cut Carmy down anymore, Carmy doesn’t work for him, he couldn’t give less of a fuck. It doesn’t justify what David did but it shows he actually believed in Carmy’s ability and is ultimately proud of where he ended up and all the abuse was a front to try and push Carmy to his limit

[@OliverHunter-00chef]

@@drumnbasssakuga9352His final sentence is actually kindly, he admires him for reaching the chefs promised land

[@yoboinicossman]

3:49 Might just be me, but on the outside it just looks like Jeremy is so proud of himself for finally being able to cry on cue

[@pabloevens1038]

That tear at the end... first time I saw the scene I couldnt breath until I saw that tear... Incredible acting on that scene from Jeremy Allen White

[@BatmanHQYT]

Funny enough Olivia Colman, who plays his mentor here, has a similar moment like that in The Crown.

[@Born2beSPRA]

Carmy is insulting so much he’s starting to admire him in a way because carmy wishes he had so of those traits to make his life easier

[@majestros729]

now that's a great take. Carmy still feels too much that's why it hurts so much lol. Or will he find another way...

[@kiritosintern]

0:34 Me when I see my girlfriend talking and obsessing over the guy I hate (she doesn’t know I exist)

[@blueberry32898]

This made me laugh

[@whoami5590]

what are you even saying

[@radhummingbird97]

Had a boss like this when I was a pro window cleaner. Took minimal responsibility for his verbal abuse towards me and always found some kind of excuse or scapegoat. It became clear he used the business and his "mentorship" of my co-workers and I as a distraction from his own problems. He always used subtle manipulatory gestures to keep my trust so I wouldn't tell people about him. After he eventually fired me I finally realized how miserable the experience was and how much he had poisoned my mind. I've fully severed all ties with him as we were once friends and I'm not invested in any kind of payback but I'm also not going to sugarcoat it if anyone asks me what happens between me and him

[@Tymacd]

I think, as cruel as it is to hear, the “you need to unclutch your pearls” is incredibly appropriate advice.

[@DeathGrip1202]

Chef David was exactly like my first boss out of law school. He taught me a lot, but there was so much he did not have to do to get those lessons across. Sure, I grew as a lawyer and he helped me start my career, but man, there was also that I ended up having to unlearn.

[@richbrescher6544]

Alot of great chef have this type of abuse. This reminds me of marco pierre white and gordon ramsay a little bit about Gordon Ramsey saying working for Marco was like working in a storm and dealing with stress and pressure once he mastered that environment he went onto better things.

[@jac1207]

There’s always been the tyrant head chef in great restaurants who lash out when things go bad. It’s common enough to become an archetype in culture. But there’s also been a push the last few decades away from that sort of kitchen environment.

[@dannyarchila]

save for the black pepper bit, I almost feel like he's describing himself 0:34 amazing writing and delivery

[@SPlez-tk8jq]

This scene was perfect! The tension, anger, anxiety, the indifference and Otis Redding and that evil smile at 1:28...Perfect!

[@jabaribentley3798]

I don't know what to say about this either Carm is going to let this traumatize him even more, or accept the fact that David's hazing molded him into a better chef. I think all along Carm wanted him to acknowledge what "bad" things he did to him, but it's a hopeless chase at this point because chef David will never see it as anything more than conditioning his subordinates rather than psychological abuse. The "clutch your pearls" phrase is basically telling Carm that if he ended up in a psych ward after all that he went through with Fields then he wasn't chef material to begin with, WOW!!!!

[@cieply1234]

For you, the day Chef David graced your kitchen was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.

[@TheVoltDenatsu]

Its almost like seeing Nieman from Whiplash confronting fletcher after the end and he welcomes him for turning him into a complete disaster

[@katykins2010]

The first time we see tears actually roll down Carmen’s face.. That’s been pent up for so long inside of him

[@BatmanHQYT]

@@katykins2010 Really? He cries at the end of S1 when reading Mikey's note I thought

[@katykins2010]

@@BatmanHQYT he cried a lot in the show but we don’t see tears until this moment.. probably to signify how long he’s been holding all that in and what a relief it was to get out finally

[@brt1strrbb110]

Imagine Mikey seeing him talk to Carmy that way

[@trevorgerardfrederick]

He would start throwing hands, for sure

[@NOMADcourier85]

The fact that he didnt remember his name infuriated me more then anything. People like this guy and Fletcher from "Whiplash" dont deserve to be part of anything creative because of the hatefulness they feel is justified in the way they pass it on to others.

[@TheBlackKakashi]

I like Fletcher more than David but yeah this is literally the chef version of Whiplash

[@Virgil_Hawkins]

I find it impossible to believe that he didn’t remember carmen’s name. He’s an incredibly highly regarded chef. I’m pretty sure David was just being rude. Seems pretty on brand

[@topicmodellingproject9002]

He knows and remembers Carmen. David was staring back at Carmen. He was still fucking with him by purposely misremembering his name.

[@THOMAS2910able]

I think that was just a cruel joke, he goes on to say he was an okay chef and now he's excellent.

[@tofupowda]

? he clearly remembered his name, he just purposely butchered it to get a rise out of carmy because he's a terrible person. you don't accidentally call berzatto, "bergazzo" in the way david did. he even paused before saying it, just to further emphasize the cruelty

[@Hehehehhehehehehehehehhe78]

This is some of the best acting ive seen.

[@Michael-840]

This scene is so realistic the acting is so good

[@stephengrigg5988]

Every time he shows up I just hear Shirley saying, "Jeffrey!". His character is just Jeff Winger in the food industry

[@rpenm]

The most effective abusers convince you that they're doing you a favor.

[@BatmanHQYT]

Beautifully put.

[@jwells1914]

It’s wild because we’ve all had that experience. Someone who impacted us tremendously but barely remembers us. Season 3 will age extremely well. They are laying great ground for Season 4.

[@Batt-man]

I’ve seen a lot of negativity and the audience score is shockingly only like 54%. I hope people enjoy this season more in restrospect

[@SaberRexZealot]

@@Batt-man they’re stoopid

[@ClayClaydol]

Feels like the bear is really part of a community.

[@JKboi27]

Going from this to the after-party at Syd's apartment was so gratifying.

[@justinharvie8126]

I was waiting for a Lip moment where he socks the guy in the face. Glad it didn't happen though.

[@vasyan123]

3:20 Winger speech to take us home starts here.

[@zenithperformancefitness6897]

The fascinating part here is that they're both right. It's really a question of the end justifying the means.

[@ZephyrBW]

Meeting a sociopathic individual with no soul. Basically meet the devil after you realized you signed your soul.

[@JamesBond-mm3iu]

Most comments are missing the point imo. You want to be great it has a cost. It's not for everyone, but if you want it, you have to be willing to give everything to the fire. Carmy wanted to be great but he didn't know the cost until it was already paid...

[@tylersommer8086]

"Oh hey how you doin..Bergatzo?" This subtle detail gave away so much about how David was trying to approach this conversation. He damn well remembers Carmy's name, and I doubt he ever had a better sous chef under him yet he acts like Carmy isn't someone worth remembering. Judging by him staring at Carmy the whole time during dinner, he probably thinks about him just as much and how Carmy was able to succeed despite having thrown everything in his way you could

[@bobbierobinson6269]

It's hard to make a narcissistic personality care about anyone else's feelings. I would never let someone like that know I think about them at all. I would have sit there with my friends laughing and pointing at him every once in a while.

[@yukithesnowman314]

Pointing and laughing at them means they're still in your head rent free.

[@TheRestlessView]

It really pains me that the entire series is Carmy being told time and time again by friends and family along with other great chefs and colleagues that he's great even the best. But the guy is too busy focusing on just one guy telling him that he's slow that he's terrible to the point where it tears him apart and destroying his own legacy.

[@majestros729]

that is the story, that's why it hits so deep