The Best Way to Honor the Late Wife

[@tomsherman4514]

This was a great video. I lost my wife very suddenly just over a year ago and the points you raised really made me stop and think. I really don't think my late wife would be very happy with me if I don't start working on making myself happier. Thank you for helping me to look at things a little differently.

[@carmenvljn]

Sorry for your loss

[@DatingaWidower]

You're welcome, Tom.

[@JL-xd4cn]

Great video... I lost my wife suddenly this year! Actually I searched YT for the exact title and this came up, thanks! Leading a good happy and honourable life would make her very happy, and bringing up our son as we had envisioned would make her happy!

[@bigap2311]

Great advice. This how I have felt since her passing 7 months ago. Thanks for your confirmation.

[@RG-hf4et]

Excellent video, Abel...... I think a lot widowed people have a tendency, especially these days with tons of social media, to feel they "have to do something" like an annual event, a yearly scholarship, place a memory on facebook or Instagram, etc. because it makes them feel better, and/or it makes the in-laws feel better, or they want some dose of attention/sympathy/whatever from people. Any memory post on fb/IG will always generate a bunch of sympathetic responses... I can't stand it........ Why can't people just keep their memories private or maybe celebrate the person with just family members/children if they must? I can definately see a widowed person with young children making it a point to do something special like showing old videos or pictures, making a cake, singing a song, etc. for the deceased. That would be sweet and lovely..... But once people are older, I think "events" just impinge on other people. I don't want to see their memories on fb/IG. I don't want to donate to their charity runs and I don't like being put on the spot to donate. I have my own charities that I always donate to and I can only donate so much of my income. So, great advice, Abel. Keep your honoring private and live a good life the deceased would be proud of. Btw, I am older and have lost many loved ones, so I do have some experience here.

[@phalynwilliams4119]

Excellent video

[@Zipittydodah]

Thank you, Abel. Sharing with my widower friends. 🙏

[@ohdear2275]

I have lost members of my immediate family who were very much loved. Two of them died very tragic, untimely deaths, which in my opinion are the hardest losses to bear. In this age of social media, I see so many posts from people who post too often, and it seems to me, they are seeking attention and sympathy. This goes on for years and years. I don't post things like that. I don't want to dwell on these losses and don't need continual sympathy and attention. Yes, I feel deep grief and my life has been deeply impacted by the losses I have suffered. But I don't want to put the burden of my grief on others. I feel it is unfair to others to do so. Consider the feelings of others. Many are carrying their own heavy loads of grief and are so burdened by their own grief, they really cannot keep shoring you up.

[@SharingRise]

Many of the late wive's family try to include honoring the marriage of the couple (kids included) and continue to post about it on social media etc. What to do? I don't think a widower (who is seriously involved with someone else) should post or show up at events that honor the "marriage" between them etc. Hard choices when having to move on and still being here as a widower who is still living and has built a life since her passing.

[@mellissiad7281]

My guy has been a widow for three years He works on a flower garden Seems to be what he does

[@michaelsimons4102]

We established a Scholarship with the School District she worked for 25 years

[@DatingaWidower]

I really like that idea because it ties into something she did when alive. (Also assuming there's not any work on your part after it's set up.)

[@michaelsimons4102]

@@DatingaWidower Me and my BIL set it up

[@phalynwilliams4119]

I am sorry but the best way to honor one’s late spouse is to show them love, respect, honor and to cherish them while they are still alive throughout your marriage. You can also honor a late spouse by living a good life after they have passed away and to fondly cherish their memory. It is fine to hold onto some keepsakes but you can’t claim to want a relationship with someone but continue to try make the late spouse the center of focus in the current relationship. It would be best to remain widowed to the marriage and leave 3rd parties out of it.