The biggest difference between a narcissist and an autistic person is the intent behind the actions

The biggest difference between a narcissist and an autistic person is the intent behind the actions
HER TIKTOK - @actually___alex / instagram - @actually____alex
Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
Website - www.mentalhealness.net
1 on 1's and all my links - beacons.page/mentalhealness
Weekly Newsletter - subscribepage.io/mentalhealness
Thank you so much

[@jontoering7792]

I'm so happy to see this being put to light because people hear "autism " and automatically do not understand there are different levels of functioning autism.

[@luvfunstuff2]

Yes! Exactly!

[@user-rr8vj9dq9s]

Absolutely true

[@patriciaberrocal258]

The same with epileptic, and people do not understand that.

[@DDBAMBAM87]

Yesss!!!

[@chrislyna5548]

??? No she didn't just fckin say autism is just like a fckin narristtic are you crazy. My son has autism ight I take fckin affense. To this ignorance. Ok. My son autism is just that autism it has nothing to do with narristtic. You might pretend your a autism or you just a narristtic tendencies in yourself .the behaviors aren't the same. My son has nothing in people he doesn't like people that he doesn't now. He understands feeling and emotional he not even mean he is very caring and loving and sweet and very nice and kind and he has to have the same thing over and over again but just like example the same movies tv shows toys food etc .he repeats. He not obsession with people nope .he can care less about people. He just cares about me because i all he has. So please don't do that bs ... autism will never compare to a narristtic. A narristtic is a narristtic sociopath and physco monster in my situation were I dealt with them. There completely different. And the behaviors aren't the same at all .autism people have triggers to sensory like my son he has sensory he get upset a little bit then he calms down. He get mad like that he call me names and hit .but he then apology for his actions. And he sorry. And he doesn't do it anymore. So. You I think just a,narristtic. That uses autism for your actions. And you just narristtic. You need to get evaluated. Asap. ... this ignorance 😒 piss me off 😒 😤 🙄

[@lynnfreeman8412]

My girlfriend is autistic. She's completely obsessed with me. I think it's adorable. My brother is also autistic so I can handle it and understand her. I wish more people would be kind and patient.

[@Llyissibel]

I think I might be autistic but I have never been diagnosed. I was also obsessed with my boyfriend (and with every new friend I make because it's not easy to socialize for me) but he dumped me after 4 years and it's so hard because I built my life around him and I was left here alone and empty.. He had enough of me and didn't even tried to solve our problems. We could solve them if I wasn't the only one trying. But he didn't wanted me anymore. I became a burden for him since he got his life together.

[@Alice2000E]

@@Llyissibel i‘m so sorry to hear that. I‘m sure u were a great gf

[@Myaccount923]

@@Llyissibel I have BPD and we also become codependent and obsessed with our partners. I was this way before I had a spiritual awakening. You’re going to be okay! And you will find love again. My boyfriend left me right before COVID in 2020! I had several panic attacks and was left alone in our apartment (after months of crying and drinking myself to sleep, I finally had my spiritual awakening). Everything started falling in to place. Put yourself first, set goals for YOU, live for YOU and the universe will reward you. I am now with my soulmate, we met at the end of 2020.

[@elliaforsyth5638]

Both my bf and I have experienced this (were both autistic) and I hate talking to people about this because when it happened I didn’t realize what was going on and got soooo so much hate for it and then when I met my bf I accidentally mentioned it and he was like “no yeah same you’re totally normal”. It’s definitely difficult to get through so don’t try to do it but if it happens it’s not the end of the world by any means. You’re totally fine and normal

[@anamorel2634]

@@Myaccount923 this is amazing!!! I feel so happy for you. As a person with BPD, I struggle a lot with codependency and makes me really ashamed. I want to have a beautiful relationship soo bad but I just can't because of my struggles. I'm going to therapy now, tho. So sorry for the oversharing lol

[@ttaylor8239]

I've worked with autistic people for over 20 yrs. I have NEVER mistaken an Autistic person for a narcissistic person. I don't know how ANYbody could do that honestly, it's apparent. EDIT: Autistics ARE LOVING AND AMAZING, narcissistic people care only about themselves. Just because someone has trouble expressing emotion, does NOT mean they don't have emotions. Autistics will stand by you til the end, narcissistic people will only stand by you as long as you are doing something useful for them. 😉

[@MentalHealness]

Read the room. Hundreds of ppl in the comment section have trouble identifying them

[@lionzDen23]

@@MentalHealness it is ignorance though.. once you know how autistic people behave then you can see the mass difference! people always mislabele and the assumptions are just that.just like many people think all toxic people or people with certain traits are narcissists. Also another example is depression, people who don't know depression quit of the time will mistake someone having a bad day as depressed. Imo

[@bereajohnson8906]

@@lionzDen23 Respectfully disagree... if you have met 1 compassionate aspie.. you've met ONE...not all. This is where you lose me...undermining others experiences because of your low theory of mind... and there you have it! ⚠️⚠️⚠️

[@Love_Mel]

Exactly! Being autistic myself I have never known anyone to match my loyalty I'm loyal when I probably should not be . For example to people that really don't have my best interests at heart. But as I am getting older I'm learning how to detach and stop giving loyalty to people that do not deserve it.

[@matrixglitch4664]

i really wish i could talk t someone like yourself.. because right now.. the autistic partner i have.. is on the brink of being cut off because his behaviour screams narc psychopath. and im not having it. i dont care for abuse anymore. where can we go to find this info.. reddit..quora..isnt doing it form..

[@mishmash6570]

What she said about neurodivergents just getting along is so funny to me. I have adhd and my cousin is autistic and I often hear my family saying that he is impossible to talk to but then I walk into family dinner us two are homies lol

[@stephanieramirez6888]

Thank you. I have an autistic son and ex narcissist husband. I worry All The Time! But my son truly has the biggest heart.

[@deijix]

My fiancée is autistic and he LOVES video games and other typical “nerdy” things (especially Star Wars and Zelda) and I love seeing him light up and be so happy whenever he info dumps lore on me lol. He always thinks he’s being annoying and apologizes but it warms my heart so much knowing there’s things that make him so happy and vibrant. He has so many little quirks I feel like I’m constantly learning new things about him.

[@elliaforsyth5638]

Same with my bf and dinosaurs. He got a new dinosaur model for Christmas a few weeks ago and texted me almost immediately telling me about it’s lifestyle and physical features and stuff

[@Alexandra-qc9te]

Congratulations on you're engagement 🙏 You definitely sound like the right one❤ Best wishes to a beautiful marriage.

[@Alexandra-qc9te]

@@elliaforsyth5638 Adorbs!!☺

[@Detvarvaddetvar]

He sounds awesome!

[@TheMrPinc]

Wait...am I autistic?

[@brennadewhirst4965]

I am autistic and every once in a while I hear someone say the things that I feel but that I don't know how to put in words and its always really grounding. Thank you.

[@foxxic]

I never realised that "love bombing" was am autistic trait. This explains why I do it so much!

[@Love_Mel]

Neither did I

[@lisapugh5015]

She explained it really well. I would like to add, that it doesnt mean that the behaviour autistic can have is acceptable. For example. I made a friend at college, we figured out that are parents lived really close and we Google mapped the addresses to see how close. I bought her a christmas gift but rather then ask her for the address or ask if it was okay to bring it round, or even wait till I saw her again at college after Christmas. I brought up my search history, found her address and dropped it off. This was done with 100% good intentions and I was just super keen to be a good friend to my new friend but this is super creepy behaviour. If someone did this to me, I'd be creeped out too. I was young then and never had many friends, I didnt really know better. It came from lack of social awareness. I havent really spoken to her since as she cut all contact with me, and rightfully so. Education and communication on both sides are important in autistic friendships

[@Hvantress]

I would have loved a friend like you... I feel like I put su much in friendships with so much of my heart and love and no one really does it back. But now I found my best friend in my husband and he's wonderful to me🥰

[@dwoktheraynejonsohn4849]

Uhh, given that you both Google mapped your places together and I assume you hit it off/spent a good amount of time as friends in college, I would have done the same thing too

[@MoonShine-wv9dz]

I don't think you did anything wrong. A bit extra maybe, but it was a sweet gesture and I bet you're an awesome friend. Having said that, these are strange times and people are suspicious of just about everything and are sometimes overly cautious so what you did could definitely be seen as stalky behavior. It's really sad. We are being ruled by our fears and missing out on serious connections with other men and women. Until we stop isolating our experiences and relationships to our comfort zones, we will continue to struggle. Be blessed.

[@loria287]

I did something similar too but with a woman I was dating. She was upset with me over an issue I actually didn’t cause, but I wanted to make things up to her and she was ignoring my text. So I bought her 50 roses and a card hand made a bouquet got dressed up and delivered it to her mom’s house where she was staying (I only knew of the address because I had dropped her off there before but never went inside). I told her mom I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to come inside and I just wanted to drop it off. Her mom insisted and she came out the room and told me I was wrong and I should never do that. And I agreed with her. I told her I didn’t want to come inside I just wanted to leave it. She told me she would need some time apart from me and then literally that afternoon invited me out with her. Turns out she was the narcissist and I am a person working on codependency issues on the autism spectrum.

[@nnicollan]

A little extra but nothing bad per se, dont feel like you did something "wrong". Different people also react differently to things! Sometimes when you find the right people youre understood

[@smartpoota9223]

This makes sense. According to her information I thought this whole time I was something I’m not. I can now confirm I’m actually a narcissist lol

[@kbranch1011]

🤣😂 lol

[@kel5710]

🤣

[@Nara26177]

LMAO

[@baileysice2715]

😂😂😂😂

[@Alexskateboards10]

😂😂😂 shit boat to be in but I think I’m right in there with ya

[@lawstsoul]

This is so real! I used to worry that I was narcissistic because I had such a hard time connecting with most people. The people I *did* connect to were weird like me. When I found sci fi/fantasy conventions it felt like I'd found a home because there were so many people like me. I have empathy, it's just on a different wavelength than n-typs.

[@britbrit7464]

The very fact you worried about being narcissistic proved you’re not.

[@erossore8500]

Same here! Turns out I was just autistic and didn’t understand people

[@szarahsshow5321]

Y’all is there a specialist I can see for this?

[@ScribblebytesWorldwide]

@@szarahsshow5321 They just gave me Risperdal and sent me on my way...

[@metaLungiez]

@@szarahsshow5321 Any licensed psychologist could diagnose your autism but there are those who dabble and those who focus on it. You don't want to see a psychiatrist because they'll spend 10 minutes with you and put you on a drug, with a psychologist a drug referral is a last step.

[@DravenNet]

Having an autistic girlfriend, I understand a little more than I knew. We've talked a lot about it and she was worried that she was being selfish because of her feelings. I just tell her I love her and she has the right to be selfish since we are getting married soon.

[@carltonthepug]

🤣

[@setarehsh3749]

Best of luck to bothof you on your big day! Wishing you health, wealth and happiness ✨ 💌

[@Itsunclegabby]

This is so sweet, it made me tear up. I hope I find someone I can love unconditionally one day..

[@coslegh58]

Congrats!

[@alexl4516]

Maybe she’s insecure and has alterior motives(evil) and does not have autism

[@themystictradesman6513]

So true. My ex narcissist projected all of her shit on me. I went through YEARS, 9 to be precise, believing I was a narcissistic psychopath… in and out of therapy, off and on pharmaceuticals trying to treat each individual symptoms. 7 years in I was diagnosed with High Functioning Aspergers by my mental health provider. It has opened my eyes to everything that has happened to me over the 36 years of my life.

[@Free2B3]

Are you still in therapy after being diagnosed with HFA?

[@diegobrando1960]

@@Free2B3 I'm gonna be honest, therapy has traumatized and harmed so many people on the spectrum. Saying they should stay in therapy (I've seen your other comments) is ignorant. So many therapists go for masking (which is absolutely abhorrent and disgusting. It is harmful to those on the spectrum). Some people on the spectrum don't even need therapy. Others do. However it's not the end-all be-all solution. From what I've read from your other comments, you're pretty ignorant on this subject. Therapy is fine. The problem is finding one that won't abuse the patient. And another problem is that most of them do when it comes to those on the spectrum. And those with Autism don't need to change entirely. What needs to happen is the world becoming more aware and accommodating to those on the spectrum.

[@amandar.6313]

@@diegobrando1960 Oh yeah, especially for lower Functioning or children autistics. From learning natural health and about autism, it's a vitamin deficiency. Fastfoods, processed sugars, hormonal milk, bleached flours etc. For generations to generations can lead to autism. Why does Mcdonalds window sign say "warning don't eat while pregnant. Can cause cancer, autism, allergies.." ever see labels like that? It's because junk foods starting from the TV dinner boom have depleted vitamins generationally. Anywho, onto how it's harmful to teach autistics to mask. The human body will do anything to survive, and when vitamin depleted It doesn't want to waste its nutrients on unnecessary things like body behaviors, eye contact, tons of memories, social skills etc. Because it isn't neccessary to survive. Now, it gets worse when their supply is really low. It can't waste memory effort on trying new things so it likes routines. Getting a lower Functioning autistic to mask will tell the brain/body to focus on that and cut something else off instead. In which masking will inevitably cause others to not give attention or sympathy because they don't look it anymore. Resulting in depression or more outbursts because of unmet needs.

[@correctandsexyaboutit]

You know, for some reason it did not occur to me that being ill-equipped to maneuver most neurotypical social experiences has made me better equipped to understand and communicate with those who also have neurodivergencies, which could actually be considered an asset in some ways, as opposed to an inarguable personal failure.

[@altynaytherussianspy]

Before I was diagnosed, I struggled deeply in activism spaces because I couldn’t understand social cues (when to talk vs not to talk, why did they tell me to use my voice only to get mad at me? Why is everyone extra mad that I interrupted? Why are people mad that I asked questions or dominated the conversation that I knew a lot about?). My odd mannerisms were read as being over the top and mocking or being a savior. Got a lot of “centering myself” comments. I spent a lot of my undiagnosed teenage years afraid that I was a narcissist or a white savior and tried so hard to blend in with my mannerisms, but it was either to much or not enough. I would watch speeches and mimic their speech patterns and tone because I didn’t want to be a narcissist/savior, but then I’d slip up anyway because it was exhausting. It might not be a big deal to the average person, but my family has been heavily involved in civil rights activism for generations, so it was for me. Finally, I went to see a therapist who had racial justice as a speciality because I was so confused as to what I was doing wrong, and basically wanted to “turn myself in” for being a narcissist and all the other nasty things people had assigned to me, that in turn I assigned to myself (also this is no way meant to vilify NPD, this is about the label of “narcissism” in a purely social setting, which has a pretty negative connotation). The therapist heard me out and suggested that I have ASD, especially with other traits (speech and motor delayed, situational mutism, lack of eye contact, etc etc). Together we figured out that I was hyper empathetic, but couldn’t read emotions well on an individual level unless they were very apparent, and thought things very literally (which meant I never understood absolute statements which are in a lot of activism, and it made me come off as arrogant), and my special interest is Black history and social issues (which can lead to me tending to talk over people and dominate conversation). Now I’m very upfront and honest with other activists, and no one usually has a problem because they know they have to be upfront with me when I’m overstepping, or misunderstanding.

[@SpecialBlanket]

activist spaces are extremely ableist and toxic. get out.0

[@nosceteipsum6742]

Yeah it sounds like the activist spaces were actively abusive towards you. 😕

[@darionclub2158]

It's great to see that autism and activism ( ouside activism for more understanding towards autism of course, because that is abundant) go together in your case. Please don't leave your activism like the other commenters suggested, because you had a bad start. Reading your own comment, it looks a lot better now, so keep up the fight 👊

[@DeadpanVT]

Activist spaces are the worst fucking spaces on the internet because you always have parents of autistic kids telling autistic adults how to feel and behave. Get out of that shit trust me many parents of autistic children are self centered including my own because they build a victim complex around their child's diagnosis.

[@hyboirds1536]

Sounds like alot of your problem was the people you chose to interact with. Despite the common misconception, many "activist groups" are some of the most gatekept, unwelcoming, non-diverse and closed off spaces out there. They become purity clubs where you have to play the role they expect you to play based on your skin color, gender or other factors beyond your control. It's unfortunate, but it has been shown time and time again to be a big problem we need to solve.

[@MariaBelova]

thank you! I care a lot but I fuck up a lot of my relationships because I literally become obsessed with them

[@Free2B3]

If you truly care now that you know what you do..then You need to get answers and help from a professional therapist to prevent causing further damage to other people's heart/life. It's about time. This is your sign.

[@MariaBelova]

@@Free2B3 I am being helped and getting my suspicions of myself being on a spectrum confirmed from a professional really helped to clarify why was I so unsuccessful in some of my relationships. Therapy rocks, yup.

[@Free2B3]

@@MariaBelova Happy for you! Keep up the good work. Best wishes👍🙏🌟💜

[@ScribblebytesWorldwide]

I have the opposite problem, I get focused on a particular activity and I completely ignore all messages from everyone and then the person thinks I'm cheating or that I've lost interest. But in my mind and heart my feelings are still 100% the same. It's almost like time pauses in my mind and then aa few months later I pick up from where we left off and they've moved on emotionally. Intellectually, I know it's extreme, but I feel guilty about giving someone split attention or focus so I in the moment I choose to focus on one task and complete it rather than give someone half my attention. I work in film so 15 weeks I can't talk to anyone in the real world sometimes.

[@ManILoveFrogs69]

YES omg. I am autistic and my biggest thing with friends is that I am good at making friends but not so good at keeping them. A lot of my past friends have said that I am too clingy. Also when some is flirting with me often time I don’t notice and have to literally be told they are flirting or else I’ll think they are just being nice.

[@mmc1086]

Intent is everything. I’m 38 now and can see the damage narcissists have done. To be honest the worst part is how genuinely they believed I was the evil one. And called me an abuser. I know I’m not but it still fills me with impotent sadness. To have done so many good loving things for this person and still be told I was evil. Targets doubt themselves. But I wasn’t the violent/ angry/ shady/ dishonest one.

[@MoonShine-wv9dz]

That's what narcissists do. They gaslight us into believing we are the problem. We are crazy, evil etc.. They project their personality flaws onto their victims. This can manifest into a trauma bond where even though we know the narcissist is abusing us we often make excuses to make them not "responsible for their actions". It's always someone else's fault. They also do a smear campaign as they are gaslighting us and we are reacting they will then tell acquaintances and family how crazy, abusive, or whatever that we are. A lot of people believe this B's, and we end up being emotionally abused (by them believing our narcissistic abuser) by those closet to us. I have been there it's going on four years since I was able to get away. My life has been completely uprooted but I'm free of him.

[@playsavedthechild.2848]

I worked with Autism and wonder if this girl has any Idea... but what you guys say about Narcs(allthough I also wonder what is going on there... what it is etc) ... what you are saying about the hurt people cause 'us' in defense ot their(fragile?) selves... they are ... not nice. Sorry you also experienced it. *lessons learned.

[@JaneThatcher89]

I relate 100%… your comment makes me feel less alone. My father was and is a source of constant narcissistic abuse but somehow he blames me for everything… I only recently had the courage to distance myself after my mother passed and I didn’t have to be cordial with him anymore for her sake. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. The damage still affects me at 30 years old… and the fact that it still bothers me, bothers me! I wonder if counseling would actually be helpful. Have a great day! =)

[@playsavedthechild.2848]

@@JaneThatcher89 Look at some 'Shadow work'... and 'Crappy Childhoid Fairy' and or... move into a self fulfilling direction(to my idea this is the best way).

[@JaneThatcher89]

@@playsavedthechild.2848 thank you very much for your input… I’ll research these topics! Much appreciated.

[@derpyturtle2660]

I’ve had a lot of mental issues/adhd for years. I fucked school up and just about every single meaningful relationship/I’ve tried my best and been really depressed because other people couldn’t understand what I was coping with. One time I thought I may have been autistic and I brought it up with my dad and he just straight up said no way so I never really looked into it. But this makes a ton of sense. I’ve also struggled thinking I’m a narcacist because I’m fairly certain my father is.

[@audistik1199]

Really, people like to label autism as a “syndrome” or “condition “ but it’s just another way to be. I think half of the so called “normal” people are nuts. Overly sensitive, judgmental, illogical, believers in ghosts, and so on. Look around at all of them and realize that you’re just fine. Knowing your differences can not only enable you to navigate though those differences but also love yourself for who you are. They are no better or they would accept you for who you are.

[@frankyvelez6174]

Just the fact that you can basically sit there and confess you feel like you might have a personality disorder, proves you're not a narcissist.. Be easy man lol much love and if you are autistic, you're cooler than most people without autism or personality differences

[@my-chemical-romance]

I'm sending this to my mom. I was diagnosed with autism and had a narcissistic father, my mom always sees my behavior as me "about to cross a point of no return" and that I'm about to become a narcissist. I hope this can help her finally understand a bit better. EDIT: I was professionally diagnosed and I do see a therapist regularly, I just think this video explains in a way my mom may better understand

[@estereatlikeyagranny9752]

This is heartbreaking-look after yourself-you deserve people who recognise your good character and heart xxxxx

[@Free2B3]

Even better, how about YOU be the responsible adult/person and GO seek professional help to help you manage this kind of destructive behaviour, not only for those who are affected by it negatively around you, your future relationships and life, but for YOU and own benefit and happiness and fulfillment!

[@Free2B3]

This is the tell-all sign if you are a true Narcissist or just Autistic who can't manage their behaviour. We all know Narcissistic people will always try to 'condition' others around dealing with them to accept their abuse and bad behaviour rather than putting the hard work into seeking help and find solutions to improve/heal their issues!

[@acordilia]

@@Free2B3 maybe. It depends on more factors. Like we don’t know the age and maturity of the person your reacting to. So maybe they are still dependent on the mom for help and therefor understanding. This person was diagnosed by professionals as autistic. So your comment may be confusing if you state that they may be narc just based on their comment. We don’t know.

[@conorthompson943]

@@acordilia well put, this whole channel seems filled with self-proclaimed gurus and psychologists. Everyone seems to know everything, or so they claim.

[@rubytwoshoes1032]

If you have to ask yourself "am I narcissistic" then rest assured your not. The fact you questioned it means your not. A therapist told me that after surviving DV. As someone on the spectrum I feel what shes saying. I struggle too. Especially with relationships and intimate ones. It can feel isolating and lonely, when all we would like is to connect and be accepted for who we are, in a world that's always saying be true to yourself, accept others etc. I wish peoples actions would speak louder than the "right words" to simply fit in. Love you all my autistic brothers and sisters 🙏🏻❤️

[@zoey5400]

I have Asperger's and when I meet new people online vs in person. Online I don't get too obsessed (except for one person I did) because there's no connection but when it come to person in real life I do I get obsessed with them and they find me weird when I got to college I didn't want friends because I realized it was not for me. I'm lucky enough that I have family that understand and I was lucky that I was raised right and supported. It was my aunt who told me I was showing signs of autism and she was the person who got me tested at the school and my mom got me legally tested. I'm life is still the same but my brain works differently then others

[@prestonrichards9004]

As someone with asperger’s I agree that the way she explained it is spot on and she also made a very good point about the double empathy problem.

[@codymodisette5158]

Isn’t Asperger’s considered a form high functioning autism?

[@bl3ssedversionofmeh509]

I love how she broke this down. God bless you all. Thanks for sharing.

[@eileenellenberger9240]

I'm crying this makes so much sense now

[@nopity336]

Excellent video. Late diagnosis here and I'm still learning a lot. I was often called narcissistic growing up and that was extremely confusing for me. So nice to see more content like this.

[@teagenthetiefling5296]

It’s so true. I get SO STOKED about making friends that it actually freaks neurotypical people out. I have to hold back and I also struggle with knowing when it’s over or changing.

[@samwitch33]

Guess I'm autistic too because when my friendships end I'm often confused too.

[@sarahkendall1378]

Since I was a kid I have been abused and always had people not care about me. So when I find people like this and they want to know everything about you and become obsessed (in a healthy way) it’s just such a wonderful feeling that they want to take time out of their own life just to get to know you, understand you and learn about you, I appreciate that so much. Sometimes you just need your own space and that’s ok! But never forget to appreciate these people because you will be praying for them back once you’re alone again…

[@nadinemoore5652]

You really broke it down correctly. I been there, so I understand exactly what you are saying. God bless!

[@sarahkendall1378]

@@nadinemoore5652 thank you! God bless you too ❤️

[@tinatimthompson3115]

((((((hugs hun....)))))) We always moved so I was never very close with anyone.. I get the loneliness. And yes, I was always over trying to be a good friend and I get how it could be weird... now I feel almost embarrassed that I might have scared somebody but I get it.. I had did the symptoms of autism and think I'm the high functioning autism. The fact that my family didn't care when I tried to tell them why I'm "strange"... well, don't know if it's bad or not really. thanks !

[@Solitaire427]

Where do you find people that want to take the time to get to know you? I seriously have never ran across someone who ever really wanted to get to know me and understand me.

[@___chardai___]

Same

[@alexshaw8167]

It’s wild how as time goes on I learn more about my own mental health. I didn’t realize I had an abnormal brain until I had a friend with anxiety who had similar triggers and symptoms as I did. Then I learned I also had depression once I started researching mental health more (have been diagnosed with both). I have recently been thinking I have ADHD but have more recently been wondering if it’s autism instead/ also. This video absolutely solidifies these feelings. It’s too bad that as an adult woman without health insurance it’s nearly impossible to be diagnosed with either of those things because as an adult “we would know already”.

[@umopepisdn.]

I can tell you, I have adhd (diagnosed at 6) and I also relate to what she's saying, but I don't have autism. You really do need to be diagnosed by a professional to know for sure though, because the symptoms are not always easy to distinguish, and even if you can't be diagnosed you can still benefit from tips and strategies from people who have those illnesses without claiming the label. I understand that you are probably seeking to understand yourself better, I almost got a whole ass psychology degree because I was struggling to find myself too. It's also important to realize that you can relate to those feelings without having a mental illness at all. Mental illness is only classified when normal feelings that most people feel are amped up to the point that they interfere with your day to day life in a significant way. If you went most of your life without realizing anything was wrong, then it's possible that those feelings are within normal limits and nothing is wrong

[@poke-talia268]

From a very small study that I'm vaguely recalling at 2 in the morning, there are many overlapping symptoms to ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, and OCD. From what I recall, they affect the same regions of the brain as well. (I could be wrong. Please do your own research to check any of these claims. ) I was diagnosed with OCD as a kid, but I'm pretty suspicious that I may be on the spectrum. I can't get checked until I have some money saved and insurance though, so eh.. Just figuring out what tips and tricks help me function better in the meantime.

[@yamigurl822]

This made me feel a lot better about myself because for YEARS I feared I was a narcissist. turns out, it’s just my autism.

[@chetopuffs]

They say I’m like Sheldon Cooper. It funny with a laugh track, but really it’s hard. I try so hard, I care so much. I just want people to be happy

[@ccirish4519]

That is a TV show.

[@chetopuffs]

@@ccirish4519 yes, it is.

[@luvfunstuff2]

I have helped people understand the difficulties of asperger's by mentioning this character. I love Sheldon as so many traits are similar to my son. My son also was verbally taught social protocols for most situations because he did not readily understand all the nuances in human interaction & he had an enormously hard time discerning sarcasm from honest speaking. He once was banned from the school library for a month when he did not understand the librarian's nasty sarcasm and did exactly what she told him to do. She was a heartless hun and didn't have a clue there is such a thing as neuro diversity and there are 13 year olds that honestly DON'T understand sarcasm. I had to get the assistant principal involved to get him library privileges again. Point being, yes, I 100% agree - being like a TV character such as Sheldon, but in real life can be extra hard and painful in so many ways. But also like Sheldon, my son's heart is amazing & he is brilliant at observing human behavior after a lifetime of consciously honing this skill so he could fit in. His observations frequently allow him to point out the "craziness" of everyday human behavior. If he ever went into stand up comedy he'd be a huge hit! At 24 he is well liked at work for his work ethic, kindness, and gentle humor. And, like Sheldon, he has a loving, devoted girlfriend! I wish you peace & joy and that people don't misunderstand you. ((Hugs))

[@theanonymoushelpline7248]

💖💖🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@celissewillis9399]

Very well said. I’m glad there are Chanel’s like this that provide this sort of clarity, becuase I feel like people are throwing these terms way too loosely around & not really educating themselves, other than reading a post here or watching a video there & just assuming that because someone displayed something, that makes them a narc. It’s one thing to be a diagnosed narc or to characterize someone with having NPD. But anyone can be in their ego or narcissistic, everyone has the ability to project those things, but LIVING it is entirely different. I was with one for 7 years, my brain defaults to noticing patterns, but I try to be mindful & recognize the difference

[@Free2B3]

You were with a diagnosed Narcissistic or Autistic person?

[@jJust_NO_]

narcissism is a category being used onto someone who has the power in any unit may it either be family setting or intimate relationship. its pretty normal.. not good not bad. they just have an air of intimidation on them.

[@santiagocruz9426]

Appricate the sharing. In regards to neurotypes. They are mostly confused by other neurotypes and sometimes by their own neurotic. It is everybodies responsibility to understand themselves and eachother, which is actually why this is so good to share.

[@christypiper]

Wow, my ex said in the beginning that he thinks he’s autistic. Fast forward a few years, I discovered he was a narcissist right after we broke up. When I told him my new boyfriend was a narcissist, I know he knew he was one too. The autistic excuse was just to throw me off 🤭

[@Free2B3]

I am glad you saw it for what it was😁👍

[@joanna0988]

He could be both 🤷

[@christypiper]

@@joanna0988 it's possible. But he'd never had a diagnosis, and don't think that was the case with him

[@TheRawKrystal]

When my ex started figuring out he was a narcissist, he started claiming he was autistic 🙄😑

[@yahya4370]

I’m so happy this was touched on. I allowed someone to run rampant with narcissist traits because I knew they have high functioning autism. This year I finally saw the bad intentions behind the actions and had to say goodbye. You could be either or , both. I never considered a sinister motive so the narcissist traits went unchecked. I have a child on the spectrum and tried to be understanding but🤷🏽‍♀️

[@thornless9073]

I'm so sorry you went through that

[@djmandyland]

omg SAME!! My ex displayed many traits of aspburgers and even everything I told my therapist she agreed it sounded like that even though she would have to tech see him to diagnose him but as time went on he started displaying really dark traits where he literally enjoyed hurting me and laughed at me when I cried etc, called me names... that was when I was like ok wait.... either I've been misreading this entire time or he could be both. It drove me crazy trying to understand if I should be sympathetic or be like peaceee.

[@AmandaDixson]

No one is perfect. Tested and true.

[@EssieBthe-one]

This!

[@honeybunn_deluxxe]

@@djmandyland ewwww wtf the same thing happened to me, my ex has assburgers too 😳

[@tone6036]

Social media still makes me feel “toxic” “narcissistic” and a whole list of things. I’m autistic. Social media sucks

[@thekingschild2116]

Social media does suck. Many many ppl in social Media are toxic and narcissistic individuals. Avoid them, nothing lost without.

[@tanisgeorgetti7317]

Wow this answers a lot of things for me like my childhood and obsessions with friends and relationships! This was really interesting!

[@lilyhill2607]

This explains a lot. I think I might be on the autism spectrum. My mom always told me that I was different because I had a hard time saying goodbye to people because I became too attached. Now when friendships and relationships end I find myself more upset than others and very confused at the same time

[@Chanchanb1778]

This helps me so much my daughter has autism and sometimes reminds me or her narc father that we no longer are in contact with for our wellbeing, I understand autism as I have been dealing with the condition for many year in my family but sometimes I get concerned that my daughter has those traits but this video reminds me that she does have Asd and certain parts of that condition overlap with the certain traits of narcissism but the key thing to remember is it comes from a place of difficulty processing emotions and can be explained to people dealing with autism where as narcissism is often reluctant to change thank you for this video

[@amandar.6313]

Are you my mom? Because the backstory and all that you explained sound exactly like what's going on in my situation. But I'm the daughter. From my life, I have higher functioning autism and my father was a abusive narc ex husband. My mother tells everyone and myself included that I seem or am a narcissist. Which hearing it from her literally broke my heart in two. I was abused by the person she was abused from, and next she is telling me I'm like that??! It's like my father never left because it's always back to him or atleast feels like she wants to shift all the blame onto me. My Older Sister was accused of being a convert narc because she has autism as well. Just lower Functioning autism. My Mother never saw how trauma affects autistics, nor did she ever have the patience to see that outbursts, meltdowns, quietness, aggression etc. Are autistic but because of trauma they need to be maintained with love and proper communication reciprocated. Trauma and Autism don't mix well untreated. By the way, If you fight with your autistic daughter don't ever insult or label her something. You don't know how good our memories are and that will never leave. For autistics we sometimes don't know if someone loves or hates us. So it gets black n white sometimes when you discipline us, yell, argue, say something is "wrong" in our heads/perceptions/personality etc. I get so suicidal when my mother argues with me. Because I start to think "she is neurotypical so she is right.. my feelings aren't correct or valid. It's better off if I wasn't such a bother" so... please never let self isolation, arguments, criticisms, misunderstood conversations, never understanding she may be right etc. Continue on.

[@Chanchanb1778]

Hello Amanda Im glad you took the time to read my post thank you for your perspective, my hopes were to give my perspective as an npd abuse surviver, as I can empathise with your autism. As both my children have this condition I would like to help you understand my previous comment I have a junior age and infant age child and I do not speak my thoughts to my children as they are to young to even comprehend what I’m talking about in this comment I assume you where under the impression that my children where your age range! But they are not, also I’ve gone no contact with my narc ex and father to my children for theirs & my safety as I didn’t want his npd to hurt their development and effect their & my mental health, Im sorry you are going through a tough time with your mother & hope you find peace & hope this second comment gives you clarity of my perspective as mother on this topic.

[@user-cl6uj5bn2f]

I love this video for so many reasons, the main one being dispelling stereotypes for both narcs and those on the Austism spectrum. I actually have suspected for some time that I may be on the Austism spectrum myself. People tend to stereotype autism as automatically being developmentally delayed or low functioning.

[@stadot1427]

Dude, most of the ones I know are pretty smart, high scoring. It's people we have trouble with, especially outside of structured environments.

[@bereajohnson8906]

You can be intellectual but with ASD there is an emotional delay/disability ... lack of theory of mind & executive function..all appear on a spectrum. Only way to decipher ASD from NARC is a clinical diagnosis...otherwise they appear the same.. same damage in relationships as well..💔🤺

[@stadot1427]

@@bereajohnson8906 really? I'm surprised! I've never known a narcissist personally (as far as I know) but from the stories I've heard, I'd expect them to be very different. From the barely verbal kid who recites my car's make and model when he sees me to the guy whose patience and perseverance helped a foreigner with halting English and 0 religious background become a Christian, most of the autistic people I know care deeply about others and doing what is right even if they struggle to understand how to behave, how to control their emotions, and why other people get so upset/turned off by the things they do. My impression was that narcissists mainly just care about themselves and use other people to serve themselves. Is that not correct?

[@Stephanie_bitches89]

So they're just labeling everything as autistic then?

[@Stephanie_bitches89]

Because that's literally exactly what it means smh

[@michelecherek5392]

LOVE THIS! My 13 yr old nephew is autistic. I've been hoping he has a healthy life they his adulthood, and with a partner...💖🙏 Thank you!

[@IMTinaMarieJ]

As a former worker in the field of autism, i LOVED this. This is something that def needs to be known and we must all be aware of the differences. Thanks for sharing!

[@arturomontes5884]

Your biggest enemy is your own ego.. it's nice to see people question themselves in a reasonable manner.. that's where you find gold..

[@Free2B3]

This comment is gold🌟👍👌🙏thank you Question, self awareness self reflection, then taking corrective actions by seeking professional help and EVOLVE & GROW. This is the difference between NPD and pretty much any other condition in psychology

[@Marlinbrando89]

I’ve never been tested but she describes me perfectly. Would explain a lot for me.

[@graceemily2088]

Interesting perspective! A guy who I worked with had autism and quickly became very obsessive despite me being in a relationship at the time. He would do all these grand gestures to try and get my attention, wouldn't let me talk about my bf in front of him, controlled the narrative of me and him when talking about us and he simply couldn't understand how I didn't want to be with him - so for a long time I have wondered whether he was a narcissist. His obsession became dangerous however. He threatened suicide when I eventually blocked him, he kept telling his friends he would come to my house to confront me and he would message me endlessly in a love-bombing style way that was very manipulative. It ended with him being arrested for harassment and I would be lying if I said I didn't think often about his 'next move' in an attempt to hurt me for not being with him.

[@cathyh1680]

This sounds almost identical to what happened years ago to a woman at my work. The guy paid no attention to the fact that she lived with her partner and controlled the narrative of an imagined relationship between him and her that excluded her partner who was in fact a police officer. The guy even sat in his car parked at the front of her house when she was home with her partner also inside. I don't know what he imagined was going to happen with that. He was married with 3 children and not separated from his wife. I thought he was probably psychotic, but he was too well organised and was not paranoid or believing anyone was out to get him. It was put a stop to somehow and she ended up leaving the company for unrelated reasons. After she left he continued to talk about her all the time, not badly or anything like that, just incidentally on a regular basis.

[@djmandyland]

That kind of sounds like BPD

[@diegobrando1960]

That doesn't really sound like he has Autism tbh. It sounds more like BPD, NPD, or a different personality disorder. People with Autism don't typically act like that. It sounds more like a form of narcissism. I've met plenty of men who've been misdiagnosed as kids with Autism when they should've been diagnosed with NPD, BPD, or Psychopathy.

[@graceemily2088]

@@diegobrando1960 I can see from my comment why it seems that way but he definitely has autism. I didn't go in to specific details about his day to day behaviour but I agree, what his behaviour manifested to become is nothing like my friends who have autism, so that's why I've always wondered whether he had a personality disorder like NPD alongside autism.

[@deleted2147]

A video humanizing autistic people: exists No one: You: interesting perspective there bucko but here's why in my experience autistic people shouldn't be trusted and are scary inhuman people-

[@miasgardenadventures2998]

This explains my daughter. Thanks for pointing this out. She found a friend who is just like her and it makes life so much easier.

[@FierceFamily]

THIS BLESSED ME!!!! 🙌 I GIVE BUT WOULD NEVER DREAM OF JUST TAKING!!!! Mine is that I have ADHD and tend to Hyperfocus on things, people, foods and then loose all interest. But it's not intentional. But then my mind will tell me it's them that has lost interest. I'm learning and processing and trying to even out the pendulum swing.

[@Task-paralysis24.7]

I do the same thing. I'll hyper focus on stuff, burn out on it and let go of it.

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@infjjedi3335]

Thank you for this. It was truly profound. My son is borderline autistic and severely Adhd. I felt guilty thinking and concluding he was a narcissist but his intent seemed pure. His confusion pure. His self destruction due to that conclusion pure. Thank you for this.

[@Free2B3]

What do you mean by pure? I could hear the same words coming out of my ex husband mother's mouth. If an Adult intentionally caused pain and damage and it affects other innocent ones, whether they mean it or not, then it's not 'pure' or they will not be held accountable for their actions just because they have a condition they couldn't manage or get therapy to heal from or control. Sorry, but there's no excuse whatsoever for ruining other people's lives just because their intentions were pure.

[@Free2B3]

And please seek professional therapy for your son. If he is young it's easier to make him aware of his behaviour and him managing it.

[@Raven74408]

​@@Free2B3​Autistic behavior is never "intentional." We process emotions and express emotions differently. Social interaction is confusing for us. I'm more likely to hurt myself than I am other people. 🙄

[@smcs]

I'm autistic. I found myself to be surrounded by narcissistic people. All because I didn't or couldn't read their motives and intentions. I thought they were being loving and helpful. But when they got tired of me and I grew to have my own thoughts, I no longer fit their expectations and they didn't like it and became mean and blame me I didnt listen, submit or obey them anymore. Now they're saying I'm not autistic because I don't look like one but schizophrenic.

[@LouisiannaInez]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 this resonates on a scary level. One large benefit of this is that you are now armed with knowledge that will help navigate people like this more safely. You have survived these people, now use these lessons to strengthen you. Trust yourself and your instincts.

[@smcs]

@@LouisiannaInez It really is. I have to virtually disappear, block them off my social media including their minions (flying monkeys) as they report whatever activity/info they get from me. I have to make new acquaintances (not ready to go friendship after what they did to me) despite having difficulty on that part too, though it got me more socially anxious but I still need people as I live alone. I also reported to the police one of the narcissists (ex-mentors) because he abused me too but he's lying to people and those whom I thought were my friends are siding with him and ignoring me.

[@LouisiannaInez]

@@smcs I cannot express how much it saddens me that you have to go through this. That being said, as lonely as it can be dealing with these people, you are most certainly not the only one, you are not alone. As a result of understanding who I am, I now have far more acquaintances than friends. Put simply I tend to be too much or not enough for people, but I'm learning that this isn't a bad thing. Most people have stayed in my life because I did everything to make them feel welcome at the expense of sacrificing myself, so when I finally got tired & expressed boundaries they left. Which means they weren't here for me just what I provided & I wasn't choosing them I just wanted anyone to stay. What I'm trying to say is I have one friend, and right now that's all I need because I chose them. We all need people but more importantly we need ourselves because we are the only ones who are there for it all. I have never loved myself which I never thought was a problem until I realised that this plays a massive part in how you allow others to treat you. I have low self-worth & guilt issues so I allow people to punish me. The year ahead I plan to spend dating, learning & loving myself, perhaps then I can find people I want & deserve in my life. Lastly, I try not to use social media for anything other than a learning resource. I don't look at people I know or post personal stuff because it doesn't help. I'm sharing this for one reason, I want you to know that you are heard & not alone. Most importantly you are still here, so do you and love yourself. You will find your people, just don't give up. Please.

[@smcs]

@@LouisiannaInez thank you for sharing, have somethings to learn from it

[@LouisiannaInez]

@@smcs we all have things to learn, after almost 20 years of being verbally abused and gaslit I am only just now learning that I have a lot to learn about myself, especially before expecting others to get me. Please understand though that this is my journey, I'm not recommending you follow me, only you can decide how you deal with elements in your life. I wish you the best and have faith that you will find what you need.

[@crackers1039]

She said this so beautifully. I’ve worked with autistic kids and adults and not known some of this. “Double empathy “ is fascinating. I’m also neurodivergent

[@cdm5553]

Thank God she cleared that up for me. I'm not autistic, I'm just a narcissist, had me worried for a second there.

[@hilariefortune3909]

This is very true for myself.

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽

[@ShyInspire215]

Damn I need to get my therapist on this ... making me think now

[@janiecepoush1904]

“Good to know!” 🙏🏻💛🕊🍃

[@WhiteWolfBlackStar]

Yes. I was appalled when I read the DSM 4 in 2000 something. A SUB paragraph that was WRONG, wrong, and more wrong! All 10 sentences of it. I worked with these kids, they’re different and for the most part delightful. But guileless to an extreme. Lovely to include this beautiful young lady 💕

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@Screech032]

I fear some people who are just lonely might false identify as "autistic" after watching videos like this... Which later only further confuse people who genuinely want to understand the autistic spectrum after they'd modified it to fit their own personality. Not in a malicious way, but perhaps in an attempt to feel like they belong while also having an excuse for being misunderstood. If you are one of these people... you don't need a title, I love you. ☀️

[@roxywyndham]

I’m starting to thing I’m autistic.

[@Free2B3]

Stop thinking and get answers by a professional please.

[@lilylove8940]

Me too

[@heavaden]

​@Free2B3 it's honestly not that simple for most people.

[@themysticalmedicinvestigat9711]

Thank you for posting this. I started to wonder recently if a similarity exists. Intention really is everything and yes, is no excuse for abuse. Great explanation!

[@AT-nq3sy]

My sweet 18 month daughter was just diagnosed with autism and this gives me hope.

[@MentalHealness]

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@xSwordLilyx]

Yes this is absolutely true. My boyfriend has autism and sometimes it can seem like he has no thought for others but he really does try so hard and being nice involves understanding a way of thought he does not have and learning to act by it, which takes years. My boyfriend is high-functioning, enough so to only be diagnosed at 17 despite learning delays (these used to be more dismissed and he was so smart he would catch up fast). I saw rapid improvement for his social skills in the first year with me and I continue to see some, and that first year I did not understand half what I do now about autism nor was I used to it as I am now, a lot of it was cloaked in his infatuation with me and how he would do anything for me, despite not understanding my emotions. Would have been easier if he listened to his mama about manners and such. In my experience, gentle and aggressive nagging both are ignored by autists until they learn the hard way and that is just the way it is. It didn't help all of his brothers are on the spectrum so she was usually the sole voice of reason, as it were. She really likes having me over, it's quite nice to be appreciated company for once. I am an introvert. For everyone else, I feel I have to try really hard and they still don't like me, or at least am anxious over it. I never feel I have to put on some kind of show or be extra kind with his family (I am though because I like to be, and life is hard for them). His little brother left a bruise on my neck at my last visit but he is profoundly autistic and physically harming me by accident really means he quite likes me as he does. He is very sweet but he does not understand. He gets excited to see me and he has less control over himself when excited. Really what happens between my bf and I is more thoughtful than a typical relationship because he does struggle and, yes, he is very sweet to me and is very compassionate. He is the nicest person I know. My sister is narcissistic and used to treat me as a regular source of negative supply and convince our family to go along with it and he can really only tolerate her because her behavior upsets him. He does not pull any shenanigans he does or act as selfishly as he does, even now that she has improved as life has shown her she will end up with nothing if she only takes (thank god). He can get into a certain mood where my problems are falling on deaf ears but it's predictable because it comes from being overwhelmed so I have learned just not anticipate him to act 'normally' and try not to need any help and be very nice if I do (say I have a migraine and I can hardly care for myself). I have been able to improve my migraines (if you are reading this and you have them, you need to take a magnesium supplement) and it has really helped us both because dropping everything to care for me really puts a strain on him. I expect it to improve as he continues therapy and learns to cope better as well. In truth, getting someone with autism to do what you want them to just takes learning to ask because they are so driven by what their own minds want they to do and they don't for example see you struggling to get the holiday dishes set to soak after a big meal because it bothers you, do not see the distress on your face and since it does not bother them to think of the chore later if they are not put into the sink and what they want is to go relax so they just up and leave the room. It is irritating to have to seek him out to ask for help but he does help and I am doing what I am irritated with him about- not being able to anticipate my wants and communicate them ahead of time. That being said, the autistic brain really reigns supreme when he is having a difficult time with his mental health (I believe the two are connected). It can be difficult to not be treated the way you expect but you need to know you are not why, it has nothing to do with you. I have had crisis where I had to dedicate myself to ensuring he was alright and disregard myself and he has come out of them to being himself and with greater understanding. All of my friends were telling me to leave him because he was no good in their eyes or they didn't like how strange he was being so I didn't want to see them because they wouldn't support me or at least not tell me what they think but I can't really blame them. They don't understand. It was really hard but things have been really good again and I really feared for him then. Also as far as mental illness goes it has not been nearly as hard as having an unmedicated bipolar mother. Nothing compares to that. (note that my bf takes his meds and they are very important to him). It has given me endless patience and acute understanding of the beast, a familiarity even. Imperfection is my home. The only thing I could not tolerate is him giving up on himself like she has, that is the greatest grief.

[@xSwordLilyx]

Also what has really helped is straight up telling him I think something is rude because usually he really does not know. I am nice when I do this but it usually is very hard to hurt his feelings without being deliberate.

[@Free2B3]

Sweetheart, you sound young and innocent with a big loving empathetic heart. I really, really hope one day you will know your worth and that you deserve much, much better than having to mother someone around and always having to put yourself and your needs last to accommodate other's conditions and issues. Hopefully, before any permanent damage caused to your beautiful soul💜🙏

[@sunnybein1]

You need to step into his world instead of expecting him to act Neurotypical and the way you want him to.Your neurotype isn't superior to another's and you therefore shouldn't assume he wants to be anything other than who he is.Doing so is forcing him to mask who he is which is damaging to his mental health.You either accept he is Autistic and therefore accept who he is but it's not your job nor your right to change who he is for yours or others convenience.How would you feel if people keep insisting you change who you are that you behave against your Neurotype?

[@sherrylove2536]

Maybe I have autism I know my son has it... I never thought of this

[@mariahconklin4150]

I never thought of this to. I’m somewhat like this also and often times people have told me I may have autism.

[@chetopuffs]

Likely genetic. My father, myself, and both of my daughters.

[@queenkristine9590]

sherry, it extremely common for autism to run in families. my late husband & 3 of my 4 kids are on the spectrum, as well as several of his & my family members. most of the other family members aren’t aware they are (that’s extremely common), but it’s quite obvious after knowing them so well, for so many years & being familiar with the autistic traits.

[@sherrylove2536]

@@chetopuffs well, thank you for this... I appreciate your insight

[@sherrylove2536]

@@queenkristine9590 it's just that I never thought of myself as autistic but I'm seeing a lot of things in me now...thank you so much for you insight!

[@chickenwingwt4231]

This hits so close to home. I’m always going around wondering if I am coming off as narcissistic or arrogant. And I also have an incredibly hard time maintaining and keeping friendships, too. I feel bad for my friends.

[@dalenjurgens6751]

Wow!! This is a good video! I have heard of this notion recently, but never had an example of it, thanks for sharing!

[@MentalHealness]

you’re welcome

[@autumnjoy5941]

Perfectly put. Thanku.

[@MentalHealness]

For those of you that keep commenting "why is the guy just standing there". IT'S A TIKTOK FEATURE CALLED (DUET) WHERE IT ALLOWS ME (THE OWNER OF THIS KZbin CHANNEL) TO SHARE HER STUFF TO MY PAGE. STOP WITH THE IGNORANT COMMENTS TRYING TO INSULT ME, IT ONLY MAKES YOU LOOK OLD AND OUTDATED. ADD ON - Yall are still being weird under this comment lol. I'm dying laughing at the ignorance. Build a platform and get at me then.

[@Mia-bigbooty]

no hate at all my guy but why couldn’t you just save her video and repost it here? i feel like there are easier ways to do this besides sitting there for the whole video…

[@xe2014]

You didn’t duet anything… you just stood there.

[@justinhageman1379]

Just because you duetted something doesn’t mean you get the right to stand there and do nothing and add no value to the video you showing. This is not fair use and this is just as bad as reposting.

[@isaacvanderbilt4505]

SCAAAAAMMMEEERRRR

[@anguishedcarpet]

@@Mia-bigbooty ah yes, posting her content and adding absolutely nothing to it, absolutely what the duet feature was intended for, okay boomer

[@idkman2242]

I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE SAID THIS.

[@xthefordx]

YES! I just found out that I have autism. I always been treated like a narcissist but always said that my intentions were good and I thought that was the best action. One of the doctors actually even said that I am a narcissist. Thankfully I looked for more professional opinions and they called bullshit on that and said that I was a complete case of autism and Aspergers and got mad no one helped me as a child. Found out some of family actually preferred me having narcissism than being autistic but I refuse that diagnosis immediately cuz I know who I am.

[@sashanoel167]

This is so very informative and extremely frustrating at the same time. How do you co-exist with someone who may or may not be one or the other. Or if they're not able to see whether they are one, the other or both?

[@bereajohnson8906]

This!!!

[@heyitsjustme.680]

I still don't understand this trend of watching people watch people. What? Why?

[@MentalHealness]

this is a tiktok feature

[@heyitsjustme.680]

@@MentalHealness that doesn't make it make sense. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@AmaindeJH]

Very glad this is being discussed. In the end, the intentions come through. Too bad it’s tough to tell at first. But I do feel compassion for this woman bravely sharing this. Very helpful info.

[@yukoebers4845]

I definitely have experienced this throughout my life and I'm still learning... Thank you for putting this out there 😊

[@godblessyou7073]

Hello how are you? It says in Romans 6:23 "for the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus." I want to tell you today that Jesus loves you that's what he died for us because he didn't want any of us to go to hell so please accept the free gift of salvation before it's too late. God bless you.

[@kellyferguson5151]

I disagree! Intention doesn’t matter. Abuse is abuse and your emotional deficits don’t matter. Posting this woman’s perspective just encourages the abused to question why they are being abused. No excuse for excuse ever!

[@tammyrhines]

Abuse is abuse!!! Emotional deficits is the whole platform for behavioral health which is often misused as mental health buy very different

[@fruitypopwhickle6806]

True, the results are still the same. Someone is being hurt because of that abusive behavior. I had an ex who wasn't mean spirited (I suspect he was autistic) but his actions were abusive. I learned to stop excusing his bad behavior and ended things. Best decision of my life.

[@jenny3pm824]

Except she’s not speaking about being abusive, but love bombing which can be one shared trait between autistic and people with narcissistic personality disorder. The autistic person love bombs out of interest and intent to build relationship, not to control and manipulate. Intention does matter.

[@jjuice1729]

Neither of these people are saying that abuse should be accepted based on the abuser's intent though. They are shedding light on the reality that the abusive behaviors don't come under the same label e.g. calling everyone with a certain trait 'narcissistic' etc. This takes away from truly understanding the deficits and their behavioral traits. Lee himself has stressed to not let anyone else weaponize their trauma (or deficit) against you. Anyone who uses information like this as a reason to put up with abusive behavior is often looking for excuses to stay. This video, or the like will not change the mind of someone determined to walk away from an abuser.

[@djmandyland]

What she's saying is what we would take as gaslighting from an autistic person is them being like wait..... what did I say that was confusing? Their brain literally works differently. Like if you say a joke and they don't understand the sarcasm and you're thinking.... how do you not understand what I said? It's a difference in neuro patterns so yes It is a HUGE difference because autistic people have a LOT of love and empathy, our brains work in very different ways though so there is a lot of confusion and disconnect and that is NOT their fault. They could say we are abusing them or gaslighting them because of the way we speak and how it's perceived by them. They are not abusers at all and it's unfair to force them to live in a neurotypical world without us neurotypicals at least making a chance to understand the way THEIR brains work. That's just selfish if you expect them to be like you when their brains are literally wired differently but they still have complete love, compassion and empathy for otheres. They don't lack it at all.

[@Lescandalefinir]

Thank you 🥺 I'm still learning about myself. Once I started to try & learn what was 'wrong' with me, I stumbled across npd/narcassim and many other conditions. I figured I must be a narcassit, yet it didn't feel like it was the correct self diagnosis. I'm still working on me & hope one day soon I will get the answers I'm seeking. Sending all on the path of healing/learning themselves strength, love, hope. Know you have a friend in me even though we don't know each other. Pray you find healing & results 💖💗🌻🌠. We can do better, remember your're doing the best you can. No one wants to feel worthless.

[@Free2B3]

You will find the answers you seek from a professional therapist, nit from random ppl on the internet who have done their job to improve their behaviour and life and went to therapy. Wake up ppl!

[@captainnemolostintheocean1652]

Thanks for the input, man on the left 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I wouldn't have understood the well-explained original video without your help

[@hannahbunny2773]

ayo ever feel useless? Think about how much time you spent looking at the guy on the left, now remember he exists and thought it was a good idea to leave his blank expression reaction to this meaningful content.

[@dontknowyoubutloveyou]

Lol

[@LetJesusTouchUrLife]

Lee I love this. I am autistic; I have Asperger’s Syndrome. God knows my intentions are never selfishly motivated nor ill-intentioned. I just struggle more in some areas than others and need more understanding, which may come off as a similar symptom, but God knows I’m just trying to get through the difficult moments of the day. I do not ever mean to come off as a jerk. Thankfully my family has been getting educated on the topic of autism and they know that my intentions are not of ill will. I am happy you shared this :)

[@chicka-chickaslimcheyney2914]

I was diagnosed with HF autism and I have seriously wondered if I am narcissistic specifically because of the love bombing. This brings me hope 😊❣

[@BumblingTurtle]

I have never seen a video so relatable and she put exactly what I feel into words. I am autistic and until she said this I never thought about how true this stamens is!! Mind browning!!

[@horsemumbler1]

You're not Autistic. If you can read this well enough to understand, you can't be Autistic: Autistim is a debilitating developmental disability which due to rampant mislabeling(partially due to ignorance, partly for financial reasons(disability payments)) is often confused and conflated with simple social awkwardness. If you're not mentally retarded, you're not Autistic, probably just a personality type that values thinking functions over feeling. If you want to understand the actual reasons behind your differences, study the 8 Cognitive Functions.

[@BumblingTurtle]

@@horsemumbler1 I have been debating if it’s worth even responding to this but I just feel you should know that you have not been fully educated on what autism is. It is called Autism Spectrum Disorder, key word SPECTRUM. I am on the high functioning side of the spectrum for sure but because of that I do not get any disability checks from the government. You are right! The definition of disabled is not being able to function on a day to day basis without help. I don’t need help except when I can’t understand sarcasm. High functioning autism is not just being awkward even though by the point of adulthood it does show up like that. No, for me growing up my mom had tell me that a frown means sad and a smile means happiness. That is not something that a Neurotypical person would need explained, correct? I am not self diagnosing myself either. I have been officially diagnosed. One wonderful thing about Autistics is that their is no one that is the same in how they function or how it effects their life. Also stop using that ugly “r” word it’s not appropriate. I have had to go through a lot in my life to be as aware socially as I am today and I am intelligent along side this potential deficit. Most Autistics like you described are intelligent in different ways but I guess it take an intelligent and kind person to see it properly and for what it is.

[@tranlee8752]

I'm an Aspie and this has been a huge point on contention in my relationship. I have NPD tendencies but I have been diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers. And yeah. I really felt what she was saying.

[@tkpoll5335]

Omg. Eye opening. Thank you for sharing this !

[@harleyquinn5774]

I was misdiagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome when I was 14. Flash forward decades later, diagnosed with PTSD and on my path of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, I learned that victims of Narcissistic Abuse can manifest cognitive, emotional, and behavioral issues that parallel the symptoms of the Autism Spectrum. From 1997 - 2019 my diagnosed mental condition has been a damn lie.

[@cw9475]

Omg are you me?? I'm so sorry you went through that, I was also misdiagnosed, at the behest of my narcissist mother at a similar age in order to gain benefit money and have additional control over me (among other things). Now I'm 25 and on the waiting list for therapy (NHS in the UK) and it's so good to hear about someone else on the road of recovery! I have spent a lot of time away from her now, and personally that had helped me to a point in healing, discovering myself and growing out of old defensive behaviours and into my own person, though the path is ongoing of course. I wish you success with your NAR 💜 you are worth it, to yourself and this Internet stranger!

[@therealsalathea]

Wow! 🤯 Never realized there was a connection.

[@diplovely72]

Wow!!! Look at you closing the gaps💯👍🏽🙏🏽

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

The other crossover I've noticed is neurodivergent people share our experiences as a way to bond with someone and show we understand what someone else is feeling. It comes across as talking about ourselves all the time.

[@LilMoonBean]

I understand what she’s saying, but this just adds on to the developing problem that younger people are facing today, which is self diagnosing from TikTok and other social media

[@elizabethellis7437]

Gratitude for sharing. 💜

[@Bioshocking12]

Omg yes I’m so glad you shared this. I remember going to my therapist and bursting into tears because I thought I was a narcissist. Lo and behold, I’m likely on the spectrum.

[@MakaylaPaterson]

It’s rare that a narcissist is going to walk into a therapists room (especially a therapist they already have because at this point they aren’t self aware) and cry because of how bad they feel over possibly being a narcissist ya know? That act alone speaks volumes

[@Bioshocking12]

@@MakaylaPaterson yes that’s what my therapist said. It also had a lot to do with stigma I associated with NPD and ASPD. Even if I were a narcissist, it doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. That was very important to learn

[@maxp7302]

OMG this really hit home today!! Thank you Lee :)

[@AmandaDixson]

This explains my life long behavior patterns. I'm really glad that Autism is a positive talking point now, and that we are always discovering new things about it that are typically misconstrued with misinformation due to lack of study and similarities to other more debilitating disorders. For many years of my life I had a misdiagnosis and was experimented on by the government for antipsychotic medications and intense inpatient therapy in 7 different private asylums. I feel that the more we share our stories and more research and discussions àre conducted- the more we will understand where we went wrong with Autism, how we can educate people now and in the future on Autism, and the lasting effects that being misdiagnosed causes. Hopefully the negative stigmas will lessen and more people will normalize Autism. Thank you for being a voice for all of us. Thank you for being a voice for those in the community who cannot speak. We appreciate you.

[@JodyLuvsHumanity777]

So happy you addressed this beautiful soul, kudos to you 👏👍. The NPD label is being thrown around like candy 🍬 in a parade these days when there's an appearance of overlap of symptoms with ASD also severe ADHD. Intent matters. I pray 🙏 people slow there rolls prior to diagnosing other beautiful souls. May ☮️ ❤️ 😁, great health and other forms of prosperity in the highest form fill you, your family and viewers lives.

[@rexwillhite4751]

You are exactly correct. My aunt is angry narcissistic and possibly autistic. I'm not a therapist and she won't open up to me at all! Except to scream criticize degrade and devalue!but my second cousin who displays lots of narcissist vices, had leukemia as a child and is definitely autistic, so I still have a soft spot in my heart for him. Knowing he grew up with such horrible influences and role models, keeps me being kind-hearted to him, but within reason. I still tell him know all the time when he tries to borrow money etc. A quick ride a quarter of a mile somewhere I will do for him, but the free rides have come to a complete stop as far as loans gifts etc

[@mo0nsong]

i’m also autistic, and i feel like when i get obsessed w someone, when they do smth wrong i often get upset because i thought they were perfect etc etc

[@ericnavarre4255]

My son is autistic and I’ve learned that if welcomes you into his world it’s because he trusts you. He will share his toys and show you all the things he made with his legos. And when he sees that you like what he made, he smiles the rest of the day. He will spend the rest of the time he’s around that person he goes all in with being around them, with his toys, and sharing his food.

[@lite403]

WOW,THIS BLEW MY MIND, ITS SOOO INTERESTING!

[@heide-raquelfuss5580]

I have autism/asperger, and HSP, introvert. I have allways people misunderstanding my behavior too. Also the loveboming on a certain time, because i was so in love, cared so much for this man. This can be seen as a narcissistic red flag. But i was just so into him and i give myself completaly away and give and give. And i am losing myself. That person sadly took and took and i realized it was never enough and he himself was not a giver. Very used to use people i later found out many things about him. If i am into someone really, i am completaky in. I could not imagine a life without him. I have had all my life problems with social cues, understanding peoples intentions. So i was a perfect target to be used in many ways. And i have a lot if empathy, but i use it wrongly and with the wrong persons and have had problems allways to protect myself. I had no idea, that people expect some things. I had to learn. Also to say no. To reciprocate in the right context. I was context blind. Now i know thru learning. I am glad i studied very hard human behavior in all shapes and forms thru books, articles, video's, podcasts and further more. To grow and to educate myself. I had to learn to protect myself. Not everyone has good intentions with you. I was a vulnerable girl and woman and a prey. Not healthy to be that way. But i have still odd behaviors and people see me as weird. I remove myself from people more and more and follow only my life path now. I love animals very much. Have a companion fir life on 4legs and we understand eachother. I give my protection and love and it is allways safe to do so. Dogs are so fine to live with. I understand dogs and what they want, need and their communication is simple for me to understand mostly. Good video. Thanks.

[@stadot1427]

That last bit is why I tell people I'm autistic and to tell me if I'm doing something wrong or hurting their feelings. I'm very high functioning and probably wouldn't bother except in more intimate conversations where you're supposed to talk about what makes you tick.

[@Zadlmond]

Well explained and completely correct! I hope more people can learn this and stop acting like we're "crazy" for having different neurology.

[@bereajohnson8906]

What's crazy is you in relationship with other people who don't agree with you... the deflection & defensiveness is super childish & narcissistic-like... it's just as confusing to us as we are to you... except most of us NTs know when to break from special interests...to spend quality time with family 💯

[@Zadlmond]

@@bereajohnson8906 why do you hate me without even knowing me?

[@bereajohnson8906]

@@Zadlmond I should ask why you hate NT's.. you started it. I matched & mirrored your definition of crazy... now you... so cleverly...use the word "hate". And that is why... ☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾

[@burnerbot7504]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!