The Bigoted English | DYLAN MORAN Like, Totally... BEST OF | Universal Comedy

Taken from his 2006 special Like, Totally... Dylan Moran discusses English bigotry, why Germany is a toilet, Male and Female friends during a pregnancy and how we look at Irish celebrities.
Filmed Live at London's Hammersmith Apollo
Buy Like, Totally... By Dylan Moran here - amzn.to/2xLB9L0
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#Dylan Moran #StandUp #Comedy

[@Arianddu]

"Argh, it's fierce mild!" Possibly the most accurate description of Irish weather ever made.

[@SatumainenOlento]

*I agree* fiercely!!!

[@peecee7568]

😂Love it! My favourite is "it's a fine soft day, thank God" when it's absolutely bucketing down. 😁

[@nesamdoom]

@@peecee7568 It's only a large storm.

[@McKlunkers]

The guys Irish impression of an English person doing an Irish impression is pretty impressive.

[@somegirl558]

Yes, Russians taught him well. 🤣😶

[@rolandet]

This comment just gave me a head ache 😂

[@medb8882]

D’you wanna nother drink then 😂

[@OhHelloSugar]

Moran's way with words is just sparkling brilliant.

[@serpenthydra]

Tiramasu, fried in sugar!

[@xjdfghashzkj]

He's a latter-day Oscar Wilde. A hilarious Irish smart-ass with a silver tongue.

[@swine13]

Hot fleas, in the gulping dark!

[@schylardavis5863]

He's my favorite twinkly-eyed fucker with a pig under his arm.

[@fergalhughes165]

@@alexsynan1347 I'm a veritable Shakespeare when I have 20 pints inside me. At least i thunk I am am.

[@DiamondBones007]

"you two need lots of sleep, no touchy touchy, no kissy kissy, i have maaaany questions for you tomorrow" LMFAO I love it lol

[@denysarcuri1213]

Dylan Moran is the most underrated comic of all time. He's incredible, with his flow of consciousness disassembling everything.

[@darz_k.]

No. No he's not. If you're painting someones house, why would THEY supply you with a ladder? (that you might steal)

[@denysarcuri1213]

WHAT?! @@darz_k.

[@darz_k.]

@@denysarcuri1213 Well obviously, your little tiktok brain isn't able to figure that one out. No surprises there.

[@F4GRAPHICS]

Him and Stewart Lee are grossly underrated. But in a way I don't mind that they're not so mainstream

[@duuuuuuuuuuude]

@darz_k I didnt get that one, and I'm not on tiktok. Hahaha gotchaa!!

[@bullish7352]

"Aaaah, it's fierce mild!"

[@exsappermadman25055]

"Wtf is that big yellow thing in the sky?....Arrrrrggggghhhh!"......

[@poppymoon4122]

"I thought it was only seven mins til we're all fucked!"

[@Gaiden-Shinji875]

It's usually how we describe things, we're walking talking oxymorons

[@exsappermadman25055]

@@Gaiden-Shinji875 Fuckin' funny though!.....

[@bennuballbags2]

Hahaha! That bit was gold

[@aliya.ayyyeee]

I almost forgot how “fierce mild” is my favorite description for anything ever.

[@errcoche]

That is some very original stand up. Very gently making fun of himself and all of the rest of us in a cathartic way.

[@fluffy_mcflooferson4635]

That's Irish humor. Moran has refined it into a fine art.

[@aadilsidd7149]

@@fluffy_mcflooferson4635 h Ooovhoophpooovoo op vv op ooh ohhghegwf who will in huyghrhgjuugmyyu O Overall y bhag

[@aadilsidd7149]

@Paul Plebian ur plan using the new for free so pls don’t

[@lobopix_]

His take on the thoughts behind kids' behaviours gave me multiple hernias.

[@annasilverlinings3607]

"men look at breasts the way women look at babies" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 THE BEST!!

[@granthurlburt4062]

And vice versa!

[@exsappermadman25055]

"It sounds like typewriters eating tinfoil being kicked down a stair".....Hahahahahaha....I am guessing Dylan was ace at creative writing at school.....

[@OpeningSalvo]

Love the username.

[@exsappermadman25055]

@@OpeningSalvo Cheers!. It might change to "ExSapper CurrentlyInPrison" if this shit keeps up!.....

[@customcartoons]

"twinkly-eyed fookers with a pig under their arm!" Haven't laughed out loud so hard in a long time ...

[@exsappermadman25055]

@@customcartoons "Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler"......So true!.......

[@a-aronm-mron4468]

Ok now that there's a comment in a comment let's make a cult

[@WittyBitty]

"She ate vegetables and drank water, the baby came out her ear." I'm wheezing!

[@khymaaren]

"What is happening to you from behind? How can we make it stop? Please, go away." For some reason this got me...

[@saoirsegirvan5096]

“That mirror, in the shape of a cello, covered with seashells...” 😂😂😂

[@PeterPonomarenko]

All of Dylan's stand-up bits and performances stand the test of time, and they will, probably forever. A true beautiful mind.

[@nicolarollinson4381]

Here's a man who says all the things some of us would love to say but we don't have a stage. His observations on life and esp about children, are completely brilliant. Thank you, man

[@inconnu4961]

Exactly! He says all the things we would say if we thought someone would listen to us!

[@JimiGosu]

I'd have to agree. Somewhere I'm sure there's someone willing to give me money to hear all of the random, neurotic nonsense that runs through my overthinking mind when I'm trying to sleep but can't because I'm alone with my thoughts ONLY THEN and my brain doesn't actually want to rest. It just has endless questions and a compulsive need to talk my ear off. But he does it better than my introvert mind would ever allow me to.

[@wendycairoli3964]

I'm exceedingly fond of his voice for some reason. If he narrated audiobooks, I'd listen to them, and I hate audiobooks.

[@fluffy_mcflooferson4635]

SAME

[@hannahmclaren9672]

Yes it doesn't get boring and it's expressive and melodic.

[@hannahmclaren9672]

@donna d same with that sentence you just wrote.

[@lauramartin5579]

👆

[@offthewall9988]

from blackbooks repository

[@peggylee6086]

Dylan Moran is a comic genius.

[@Mrbobinge]

More please. It's like bedtime stories for big people. Part bored narrator with few facial cues which just adds to the fantasy mystery expectation. Like an after-dinner uncle.

[@agentofchaos4437]

he's such a man child, I love him so much. new dvd please dylan we need your dramatic wisedom.

[@fluffy_mcflooferson4635]

"I might paint yer house but I'll steal the ladder ho ho ho" omg this guy is priceless

[@evelynbaron8357]

OMG a small dose of Dylan Moran every few days got me through Covid 19 2020-21. This video dates back a while when he was smoking and drinking gasp he does neither now and recently heard a podcast and nothing has changed except he is in better health. Long may he live. Also Billy Connolly. It's a short list. Truly this level of improv, it has to be genetic fantastic it cannot be learned. And for all you women out there in love with people you will never meet I have a Pekingese who thinks rabbits are small dogs so take that.

[@AC-jg5ok]

😂🤣😂

[@sheydoll]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀💀

[@onerva0001]

😂😂😂

[@KBerry-ug5zx]

"That's why everybody [in Ireland] looks like this..." And then a perfect Chris O'Dowd face. 🤭

[@Dilkingt0nne]

I was thinking more jimeoin

[@moopower800]

Hahahaha

[@Richard_Jones]

@@Dilkingt0nne And I was seeing Ardal O'Hanlon.

[@justdefacts]

Jaysus. We really do all look like that!

[@jimsgirl1465]

Dylan is beautiful. He looks like a young Colin Firth. And he's truly brilliant.

[@spa-town1937]

Colin Firth looked like a young Colin Firth when this was filmed.

[@maisie6904]

Oh he’s far more attractive than Colin mmm

[@peslacbill]

OMG, the rant on Germany was pure gold!

[@excelsior0075]

well its always fun making fun of others and i guess you're either american or british so you already have a bias but honestly hearing irish accent is actually far worse than hearing german,

[@peslacbill]

@@excelsior0075 I’m Greek, but nice try!

[@excelsior0075]

@@peslacbill And i am from canada but that explains it too actually, greeks are blaming their own economic ruin on the EU and germans So you can enjoy this rant on youtube but it won't still change your economic conditions Rhetoric and ignorance only goes so far

[@peslacbill]

Ήρθε η Καναδέζα εφτά μήνες μετά να μας την πει. Σας έχει πειράξει το κρύο εκεί πάνω.

[@daithipol]

@@excelsior0075 I don't think you understood the joke if you think it was about insulting Germans. You don't have to like the joke but it helps if you understand it. Please read this in an Irish accents

[@Chartoise]

At school, talking about the American dream. Teacher says to the German student: Do you also have a German dream in Germany? German student says: We did... Nobody liked it. ='D True story.

[@japr1223]

😂

[@jondunmore4268]

That's now the American Dream - but is being dreamt by a pack of white supremacist morons who don't know how to make it happen.

[@Wolf_Khain]

Why did noone like it? Well for starters it involved killing people, everyone, and going on vacations, do you know the German word for Vacation? The polish didn't either, it's called blitzkrieg, and then there was a lot of sports, like winning the first tour de france...with a tank, but that was easy, cause ze frensh were all driving backwards, very fast, and there was also a lot of camping with a lot of fire and someone screamt "gas!" and "arbeit macht müde" and people were very offended so zey kindly asked us to stop what we're good at by bombing the shit out of us. But at least we don't glow in the dark like some country in the east. You were a great Publikum, it's always a freude to offend you, have a nice evening and rememba, we're watching and waiting for zat yellowstonepark to go boom to show you how many friends you really have. byebye!

[@Chartoise]

@@Wolf_Khain HAHA. You joker! And they say the Germans don't make jokes :P But I'm from the Netherlands. I'm not a bloody Yank. But if Yellowstone goes boom, the Dutch and Germans will be the first to help. The Americans and we are very very strong allies. We will go through fire for them, as they will do the same for us. Admit it ;-)

[@Wolf_Khain]

Wasn't meant as an insult but satire. and of course we're the first to help our friends and allies, we Just don't leave once we get to the US. Best friends forever

[@vivaldi1ett]

I’m German and find this hellacious great original stuff Dylan thanks it was educational

[@spaceowl5957]

I’m also German and ai totally agree! The stand up I’ve taken a liking to is usually American, but this guy is one of the best to ever do it. Amazing stuff!

[@bennuballbags2]

I love him, Black books and stand up just brilliant.

[@yashathebelgianmalinois348]

A lot of people mention the Eddie Izzard overtones. I get that too but he definitely has his own unique brilliance about him. Very funny.

[@henrynash2362]

It's the surrealism, like Eddie Izzard of old

[@ElGrabnar]

My father showed me Eddie Izzard when I was a kid and helped explain some complex gender stuff at a young age... that I am now told is wrong and makes Me, Eddie, standup comedy and his makeup decisions transphobic.

[@adriennemurray7695]

Voice so often similar to the great Dave Allen. Love them both

[@dawnbastan2208]

He's seriously gorgeous

[@A-Duck]

Okay, he says that but... He is genuinely a twinkly-eyed Irishman.

[@ruditormey7138]

Most are

[@DesmoXVI]

lol, I guess it’s why he said it’s only half true :)

[@medb8882]

We all are 🤣

[@puppetsock]

The spaces between the teeth of a comb is called a redd.

[@titanuranus3095]

Good thing you redd that up.

[@officiallynoname7945]

Umpernater actually

[@leahvaris769]

That actually has a name?

[@officiallynoname7945]

@@leahvaris769 yes the spaces between the teeth ona comb is called "Umpernater", googled this.

[@garyschasteen9440]

I was wondering! Thanks! : )

[@permurshad6587]

I love his comedy he's not totally old school not totally modern just enough of both... I have been to Ireland few times its a beautiful place and people are amazing

[@gogoscorner1111]

I laughed so hard.... I think I displaced something 😫....😂😂😂😂

[@vincecallagher7636]

One of the funniest people alive

[@lobopix_]

This is a completely different side of Dylan to his equally hilarious TV series "Black Books" with Bill Bailey and Tamsin Greig. Versatile delivery.

[@craffte]

Still one of my all time faves.

[@madMARTYNmarsh1981]

This is the funniest way I've ever been described as a bigot.

[@summerhealy4478]

Came here to laugh about the English.. Slight change of plans in the first two minutes (I'm German)...but also, I agree with everything he said about Germany

[@peterjohnson8763]

Don't worry, he was talking about our (English) obsession with the second world war. One day, maybe, we may calm down.

[@whattheflyingfuck...]

@@peterjohnson8763 I don't think you will ever calm down because once you stop looking at others you are forced to look at yourselves.

[@siggim9170]

His german sounded more like Dutch.

[@peterjohnson8763]

@@whattheflyingfuck... you may have a point there. Lets hope we can all be more self reflective.

[@themurrrr]

Siggi M 🤣true! (I speak Dutch)

[@seagecko]

The child's sleeping positions... the crucifix and the swastika, gold. My child crawls into the big bed and proceeds to conquer all sleeping space.

[@headmondronary2127]

Another great TED talk.

[@Chaosium]

as someone who is irish, i completely agree

[@MxSaxman]

Don't mess with the Irish; Ireland is a small island west of Europe but they have a gift no one else has; deep insight into the human condition, but if you cross them they will eviscerate you in about 3 seconds That said, they have a capacity for kindness that is unmatched, a real gift to humanity.

[@murman6140]

Do you also include people from Cavan in this assessment?

[@laetitialogan2017]

I just love Dylan..

[@eyeballdude]

This guy is brilliant!!

[@freudulant]

Laughed out loud at the Irish face. Felt like it rang true.

[@doublecrossedswine112]

This bit is legendary

[@MemoryAmethyst]

I haven’t seen smoking in public for decades now. That was the most surreal part of his routine, and he was talking about Hitler!😂

[@BaldricksTurnip1]

He is so cool,I love his comedy, I'm English and we are a bunch of bigoted arseholes.

[@angelwingz892]

When he gets loud and irish...he reminds me of my dear Uncle Michael. Seriously beautiful man with a very attractive brain.

[@veerlaff5528]

I enjoyed how he went on a tangent with Germany. Ever watched IT crowd. That curly haired guy!! His name is Chris O'dowd.

[@IblameBlame]

They're both curly haired, but Richard Ayoade's is curlier.

[@richardgarrard8344]

This is amazing!

[@soleclaw6521]

I like the way this man speaks.

[@maxpower1337]

Only pain knows the truth of laughter or vs a versa ✋

[@luminair11]

I've only ever seen this guy i Black Books......didn't realize he could be so funny.......he cracked me up!

[@WillPhil290]

The oscar Wilde of comedy... I'm in tears.

[@diarmuidmacmurchadha8585]

Dawg Oscar Wilde wrote 90% comedies hahahahhaaha

[@aeydra]

Charity shops are the BEST 🥰 🛍 Treasure hunt for sensible shopaholics 😆

[@TheReddances]

Came for reflections on the English, but expected him to be probably a bit tedious tbh. Was absolutely turned on that from the off...and about everything else. This guy is REALLY funny! Totally new to me; will check out more

[@thebonerfromhell]

Check out his show "monster". Really funny.

[@TheReddances]

@@thebonerfromhell Thanks!

[@kathleenrayner1234]

The series Black Books was the best ever. Never grows old 💖💖💖💖💖💖

[@haleyrichardson8818]

I LOVE Dylan Moran 💗

[@rkaiser7767]

My oldest daughter, she’s 48 years old now, but when she was three years old, she pointed up to the sky and said “ look mama the sky is breaking in half”. There was the condensation trail of a jet plane high in the sky overhead. To her it looked like the sky was breaking in half. Brilliant deduction on her part.

[@mswolfeywolfe]

Love Dylan Moran! xox

[@jerryjones7293]

Thank you!

[@Netherwolf6100]

I got a 9 year old at home. This nonsense is spot on about kids 😅😅😅

[@marycunningham8466]

you are brilliant thanks.

[@jerryoltremari317]

I can hear a bit of Eddie Izzard. Good stuff.

[@fergalhughes165]

I know. He was asked numerous times to get off his phone.

[@trentrznor9365]

Good catch

[@elizabethduval7562]

Oh my gosh! He is hilarious!!!

[@bouncerbloke1]

I've always been told I've got a great sense of humour (maybe because I'm of Irish descent 😀) but this bloke is off the scale. He's a genius

[@MsGilly1967]

We probably all knew your granny

[@fergalhughes165]

It wasn't Margaret O'Shaughnessy, was it?

[@ruditormey7138]

@@fergalhughes165 sure I got a few lambs off her last year, strange lady from Tip. Kept going on about some bloke who thinks he’s Irish…

[@anitawebster9450]

Awe, envy & lust - you betcha! 😄

[@DreamBelief]

Please please one day rip on those of us with disabilities. I'm disabled and it'd be bloody hilarious i reckon. He's able to do it in a good natured way, not a prejudiced one

[@ieatbananaskins7926]

What are you going to do? Walk to his house to ask him? /s

[@harmonyvegan]

The Ecuadorian Women's Folk Choir doing the songs of Kenny Rogers.

[@monkeytennis7477]

I have that CD, listen to it in the shower.

[@AshishDha]

just brilliant! super funny!!! thanks :)))

[@lesleymcshanemitchell9651]

his stuff is brilliant

[@rosedalton442]

Every time I put on a video, all I hear is tamatoa from Moana! And that's my Irish coming out as well because that extra minute is vital! lol.

[@nonenone1648]

Fantastic...naturally!

[@keithnotpc3520]

Nice gem looking forward to c more of him very very good

[@ciarancassidy7566]

Well there is a lot more from him. This set is 14 years old.

[@jamesfagan7823]

My uncle Gunther Stineberger once told me if you bring a tadpole across the Atlantic to a river or pond he will drown but bring it to Norway and it will play the piano

[@MrMaharg65]

He’s brilliant. So like Dave Allen 🖤

[@daraorourke5798]

Spot on. I'd say he is a major Dave Allen fan.

[@originalpringles]

"I'll paint your house now but i might steal the ladder. Which is only HALF true!" Which half is true i wonder, will they paint the house or steal the ladder?

[@exsappermadman25055]

B, its always B.....

[@irinasidorenko9790]

Paint half the house and steal half the ladder. Obviously

[@fransmars1645]

@@irinasidorenko9790 No house painting at all. Only ladder stealing.

[@irinasidorenko9790]

@@fransmars1645 where's fun in that

[@saundyuk]

The Irish can't do that any more. The Polish replaced them when they weren't looking. No the poles paint your house (very well) and not only don't steal your ladder, but look pityingly at you at the state of the ladder you'd tried to fob them off with.

[@animasuzie]

Being serious here. I have German friends . I have English friends. I don’t have any Irish friends . Echolalia is a sign of a caring person.

[@grahamriley339]

Dear KZbin, i mute all your adverts. Thank you.

[@missopowers]

Jesus, haven't I had conversations like this at the pub.

[@Milestonemonger]

Hilarious 😂

[@axiom666]

This man is a genius. 😀

[@Bellend361]

Just Sparks up on stage, reminds me of Dave Alan!!

[@dominicportelli7468]

Brilliantly hilarious.

[@dimitartemelakiev6927]

Moran predicted me too 14:42

[@REDGHOST]

Just as he mentioned about walking around forgetting things I had just walked in my room wondering why I did then I remembered I was supposed to get my jeans from the office then put them on so I had to walk all the way back to get them looking like a fool in front of my fiance who is now asking me to go back and get a tape measure after just returning to the room.

[@acchatt]

What a riot 😁

[@mellowtube]

super funny.

[@victormcmullen3246]

Very reminiscent of the late Dave Allen

[@numismatric]

Beautiful, LOL... ;)

[@Jumbosausageroll]

Ah. The man is a beautiful mind!

[@13crazydave]

The German language is like a typewriter eating tin foil falling down the stairs

[@charavb5297]

God I love him

[@thecynic9232]

My dad used to tell a joke about a man on trial for (sexually) disrespecting a corpse … he said “dead? I thought she was English”.

[@officiallynoname7945]

the only known rewference of a name given to the spaces on a comb is; Umpernater

[@jody.cleaver]

Fierce mild !

[@Jesse__H]

I just watched this clip in one of this channel's other videos.

[@klam77]

I just read your comment. Wish I hadn't

[@Jesse__H]

I just read YOUR comment. I feel nothing in particular.

[@johnmc3862]

Comedic genius.