The Boobrie and Conservative Pandas: Citation Needed 3x02

It turns out the Citation Needed team have a certain amount of skepticism when it comes to mythological beasties. So rather than talk about the boobrie, it's on to slaughtering birds, extinct creatures, and why all pandas are actually Conservatives.
BONUS MATERIAL - Old Chucklewigs and Wogan Impressions: • Old Chucklewigs and Wo...
THE FULL PLAYLIST: • Citation Needed, from ...
TOM is @tomscott and at tomscott.com
GARY is @garybrannan
MATT is @unnamedculprit and at mattg.co.uk
CHRIS doesn't do this social media nonsense.

[@lillyfriedman6618]

the absolute disaster of four very intelligent people saying (1) that rocks are living and (2) that insects are not animals will never cease to amaze me

[@Liggliluff]

They also said that the Queen of -England- the UK is the only queen, but that's typical of Brits to do.

[@evan.f1738]

And that Birds are inanimate objects

[@RFC-3514]

@@evan.f1738 - That's a religious issue.

[@beeegg3]

@@evan.f1738untrue. Birds arent real.

[@GryphLane]

And penguins are a fishish thing

[@Thiefree]

Tory Pandas would be a godsend for headline writers. Any minor political setback would result in "BAMBOOZLED" on every front page.

[@MaydupNem]

if anything deserves biscuits that one does

[@ules5799]

this might as well be one of my favorite youtube comments ever

[@columbus8myhw]

"Is it a fish, in the same way that a duck is a fish"??

[@Near_Void]

A duck is a fish, in the same way a plane is a bird

[@masansr]

Stephen Fry told me that there is no such thing as a fish.

[@Near_Void]

@@masansr a fish has no classification.

[@DerplingKing]

@Topher TheTenth For similar reasons, Capybara are classified as fish by the Catholic Church.

[@genokilgallon328]

@Topher TheTenth in Britain catholics had this standard about puffins.

[@joshyoung1440]

I feel like Chris deserved a point for accurately perceiving that the reason they strangled the last two birds was to keep the skins intact.

[@xenontesla122]

11:00 "I've literally been in that meeting" Now that I've seen "the Ballad of Mad Cap'n Tom", that makes much more sense.

[@Fungamerplays]

I know right, like how do you just throw that in casually and don't also mention that it was because you were running for parliament as a pirate in full costume

[@cadetkohr5508]

The Ballot of Mad Cap'n Tom

[@glowstoneunknown]

@@cadetkohr5508 how dare you, take a like

[@Schenkel101]

"Not animalia, an insect." Good job, Tom.

[@zyaicob]

Are insects in a different kingdom???

[@AC-jj3ul]

No. They're animals. the the kingdoms are Animalia, Plantae, Fungi, Protista, and various ways of dividing up the bacteria because our understanding keeps moving on. The original model by Linnaeus was Animalia, Vegetabile, and Lapideum, the last being minerals, hence the whole "Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral?" question

[@samreid6010]

@@AC-jj3ul now correct me if I’m wrong, but rocks aren’t alive. Why the heck is mineral a category?

[@Rishnai]

@@samreid6010 Surprisingly, some rocks are actually alive. Acid mine drainage forms from the same “metal-fixing bacteria” that put together the ore seams that mine… mined

[@notdoneyet1361]

@@Rishnai sure, but did Linnaeus know this?

[@ejewart1450]

"Different kingdom. Not animalia, its an insect." Hate to break it to you Tom, but insects are animals...

[@martinpaulsen1592]

"...a large insect that sucks the blood of horses with tentacles and feelers." You know, I've never seen a horse with tentacles *or* feelers.

[@The_Rising_Dragon]

That's the thing, you need a horse, that has both, Tentacles *and* Feelers.

[@alansmithee419]

Help! My voice is running away slowly!

[@1Lo1L]

not to mention wouldn't that just be a crustacean

[@chair547]

this is why i could never do Tom's job cuz I would totally give you biscuits even though you don't deserve them

[@Tjalve70]

"You know, I've never seen a horse with tentacles or feelers." That's because they're extinct. They all had their blood sucked by this insect. Which was not described in any way.

[@j.k.wheeler4899]

Everyone just skipped right over "the way a duck is a fish," huh?

[@Liggliluff]

A reference to penguins being fishy things perhaps?

[@TheSkyline77]

@@Liggliluff I assumed some kind of catholic related Lent edict like the whole "fish isn't meat" thing

[@NumenoreanNazgul]

No, some "ducks" are literally fish. Like the Bombay duck.

[@GumSkyloard]

When I say "Ornith", you say "ologist". Ornith..

[@U014B]

​@@GumSkyloardoboeist.

[@Otakat1]

On the previews at the end of this video, the second one ends in Gary saying "SS" and the next clip occurs with Chris saying "THAT is my rank in the army". - 12:10

[@audreyrasmussen540]

Staff Sergeant....Reckless.

[@ishashka]

That's my rank in the SS!

[@xmlthegreat]

Hans, bring ze flammenwerfer!

[@witerabid]

I still imagine Babbage's Cabbages to have patterns of holes punched through their leaves that contain a program to calculate how many cabbages there are...

[@dbseamz]

Usually when a leaf has holes in it, that's a sign that pests are eating it. In this case, "Babbage's Cabbages' Ravagers".

[@violetsteele350]

@@dbseamz the only reason why I'm mad at that is that it doesn't work in my accent because Im an r pronouncer

[@dbseamz]

@@violetsteele350 I am too, I just know these guys aren’t (hence the Knickerless Cage pun)

[@krim7]

For a minute there, I thought you guys said Orc rather than Auk. Pretty impressive feat to strangle an Orc, not so much with a little Auk.

[@f0rm0r]

it wasn't a Little Auk it was a Great Auk

[@JonatasAdoM]

AAAAAAAH. I was trying to make sense of an orc bird

[@SeraphCyan]

I’ve watched the video around 5 times. I’ve thought it was orc the whole time.

[@ishashka]

That's why I always watch with subtitles.

[@1Lo1L]

A great orc at that

[@KemaTheAtheist]

I listen to stuff like this at work... I had to close by door after the "This is the last member of this species. Chrrrck" because I was laughing so hard and didn't want to disturb the other people along the hallway. Btw, figuring out the onomatopoeia for that noise was incredibly difficult.

[@coooooooooool1000]

sure, disturbing other people is the problem of watching this at work...

[@KemaTheAtheist]

coooooooooool1000 I said "listen," not "watch." I guess reading comprehension passed you by in grade school, huh? Way to catch up after an entire year, btw. Kudos.

[@EdwinWalkerProfile]

Calm down.

[@CinemaDemocratica]

"Is it a fish, in the same way that a duck is a fish?" Yes, actually. Insofar as NEITHER OF THEM ARE FISH.

[@axelasdf]

Insects are in animalia. So are. sponges.

[@entropyzero5588]

+Prassel I have yet to hear a single biologist (or, really, a single person apart from Tom just now) refer to insects as "not animals". Of course they are animals! 0o

[@thedeadlypacifist]

I came down here for this comment

[@elkudos6262]

@Entropy Zero Maybe @Prassel was talking about how insects are not beasts, but mammals are?

[@IronicHavoc]

@@prassel6189 Connotation vs denotation

[@ashdontooley7473]

yes all invertibrates are part of the animal kingdom however they aren't counted in the animal welfare act (United Kingdom) so they don't have right

[@bluebear068]

3:26 From now on, my References sections shall instead be entitled "A Trail of Bollocks".

[@slook7094]

Insects are in the kingdom Animalia, Tom. That's why they said "rocks."

[@OrganicAlchemy]

Ah yes the kingdom of "rocks" is often overlooked in the tree of life

[@Pit1993x]

The "rocks" part is almost equally baffling though, considering that not a single kingdom in the tree of LIFE contains rocks, which are not life. XD

[@celestialtree8602]

@@Pit1993x They ain't animals though, now are they?

[@TheSalamander_]

"It was named after, and invented by 'SS'" - "That is my rank in the army" - I had to look up at my screen to see the trailer had changed.

[@Jastinato]

"Did he kettle them?" No, but elsewhere in the article it does say that people used to boil them alive in big kettles, over a fire built not from wood, but from other auks.

[@adammullarkey4996]

"It was probably delicious, that's why most things are extinct." Ah, tasty, tasty velociraptor...

[@The1wsx10]

i like how matt gray has a label on his headphones for his name

[@George_Azeria]

It's actually just the colour. Matte Grey.

[@oz_jones]

Must be from his work

[@daemonCaptrix]

It's really weird to hear educated people who think insects are not in Animalia. Like... what other kingdom did you think they belong to? Plantae? Fungi? Bacteria? xD

[@GamerDuDimanche1456]

daemonCaptrix Rocks !

[@janmamu8721]

They are flatulence

[@Jedi-J2]

okay, please tell me there is at least one other person who immediately thought of "ducktective " when they were on that one bit. I'm rather curious to see what the overlap in fanbases are.

[@techno1561]

6:00 You can just see Tom getting progressively more horrified as he kept reading along the article on the Great Auk.

[@Kabitu1]

Insects are animalia by the way. Or did you think they're fungus?

[@joshuahadams]

Cordyceps?

[@columbus8myhw]

Oh, they're anything but fun

[@JulianDanzerHAL9001]

8:50 it gotta be starving not many horses have tentacles AND feelers

[@philiphockenbury6563]

That sentence implies that they have either one or the other. I don’t know how to feel about that.

[@martinpaulsen1592]

I want to see that spoilt ballot law here in the States, and I would pay money to see a livestream of the candidates reading those spoilt ballots.

[@timothymclean]

Sadly, most spoilt ballots are just people who screwed up. A speedrunning channel for Desert Bus would probably be more interesting.

[@DerplingKing]

@@timothymclean Desert Bus for Hope. Look it up.

[@GegoXaren]

Insects are in the kingdom of Animalia. [edit: grammar]

[@ellingeng]

***** They definitely aren't plants!

[@Yizak]

Leslie Colton Or funghi

[@GegoXaren]

Damn it... There should be an "are" in there...

[@brucebaker810]

+Gego/XAREN ゲゴザレン Where be this Kingdom of the Animals? Did Gulliver vacation there?

[@GegoXaren]

Qtea The Swag No, Just courtesy.

[@wrywh]

Selkie = seal lady, Kelpie = water horse. If anyone hasn't seen it, do check out Song Of The Sea. it's the second film by the team behind The Secret Of Kells and it is magnificent.

[@EmmaLiza]

So if Pandas are Tories, is there another type of bear that votes Labour? (Okay, Red Pandas, but that's a bit obvious don't you think?)

[@agogobell28]

EmmaLiza Then black bears are the Lib Dems, because they're opportunistic gluttons.

[@LBP-kq8lj]

then which bear would vote green

[@timothymclean]

@@LBP-kq8lj The pandas who don't live pampered lives in the zoo.

[@ishashka]

No, the red pandas are actually Red Tories (it's mostly a Canadian thing)

[@shambosaha9727]

@@LBP-kq8lj The brown ones

[@markw4566]

Here is a sponsor for you. A Texas freedom fighter miniature jet propulsion system. Davy Crockett's Pocket Rocket

[@IceMetalPunk]

Mark Wuollet A nook to hold a Texas freedom fighter's miniature jet propulsion system: Davy Crockett's Pocket Rocket Socket.

[@chrisberry7640]

IceMetalPunk a necklace of a nook to hold a Texas freedom fighter's miniature jet propulsion system: Davy Crocket's pocket rocket socket locket

[@IceMetalPunk]

Chris Berry *Something about a sprocket*

[@brucebaker810]

+Mark Wuollet How about an assassinated bird's petrified security device. Auk's Rock Lock

[@vaclav_fejt]

+Mark Wuollet That's actually a thing, M-388

[@OlafoWaffle]

Tom was right about how the KZbin studio videos don't work too well with the camera angels

[@qwertzy2610]

In Germany, there are monuments for the place were the last lynx in a specific mountain range was killed. Humans somehow mark their cruelest moments.

[@yeiiovv4989]

1:37 In the same way a penguin is a fish(ish thing), Matt?

[@Thorstendeal]

I LOVE all the members of the Technical Difficulties and have a huge amount of respect for all of them. I have enjoyed everything that the team has done together and am consistently amazed by the amount of knowledge that each of them have in so many areas, BUT I do have to point out that insects are very much in the kingdom of Animalia, they are in a different phylum being invertebrates.

[@aloysiuskurnia7643]

"I'm trying to diagram the sentence..." Tom Scott's building a syntax tree

[@thechrisgrice]

Chris got those V words almost exactly from V for Vendetta.

[@woodfur00]

Eh not really. Similar vibe, totally different execution. If there's overlap, it's because V for Vendetta used most of the V words that exist.

[@TheRealGirlWeeb]

This episode is already just worth it for Gary's expressions.

[@ScribblenautMaxwell]

the degree to which these four logically minded people get so wound up by a mythological creature will never not be hilarious to me

[@zJoriz]

"So you have a trail of bollocks!" I'm sure I would find a use for that, if it were to become a gif meme

[@bigglessy]

Why isn't this on TV? It's fantastic. I'd love to see these guys along with some quality celebrity comedians every week.

[@ltericdavis2237]

bigglessy THis would make the most amazing gameshow.

[@SparkySummers]

bigglessy It's called Mock The Week.

[@bigglessy]

TheIrezasRise MTW is amazing, that is a given. We need more great comedy though.

[@SparkySummers]

bigglessy Yeah, and the fact I can even compare this to MTW shows how good this is. And hell, anything with more Tom Scott is good.

[@Theblueshark27]

bigglessy you just described QI

[@firebird9594]

-BullShit! -Have a point. I died XD

[@lurac5710]

Jesus christ, I love Matt's 'Its a bird' delivery 'HAHAHAHAHA. Its a bird."

[@DavidBromage]

This is what would happen if you released nitrous oxide into the QI studio.

[@lukediggle1723]

For those who don't know, laughing gas and quite interesting.

[@anttibjorklund1869]

@@mollymauktealeaf for future reference: Toksvig

[@mollymauktealeaf]

@@anttibjorklund1869 Thanks!

[@jador13]

I could be imagining things, but I just want to point out that this episode seems to have aired on 16-7-2015... At 8:30, they mention Doctor Who and smiley faces... The Capaldi episode Smile would not air until 22-4-2017, almost two years later... Just not about airships. Does Moffat watch Citation Needed, or is this an amazing coincidence? Or is time travel involved...?

[@DumbMuscle]

As an alternative punchline for the prize, Tim Berners-Leeks

[@andrewhazlewood4569]

Matt was so close. Bird watchers see boobies on Australian beaches regularly... Because they are Australian sea birds. Brown boobies ( no I'm not kidding) and the endangered Abbott's boobies are two species of booby.

[@georgedoty-williams2085]

4:15 Gary Brannan runs into an invisible wall

[@Ipsum_ipsum]

Everything tastes good with Irn-bru as you can probably tell I am Scottish.

[@joelproko]

This show: One of only two shows on the net that make me smile in eager anticipation at just hearing the jingle (and "this is the Technical Difficulties"). Though I have to admit I really would have liked subtitles for this one. The joke Matt made that Tom said "I set it up..." about was completely unintelligible to me, even after playing it back several times over and over.

[@putnopvut]

joelproko Tom: "They also shelter on land in overgrown heather." Matt: "Who's she?" In case anyone else was curious.

[@joelproko]

And what did Matt say?

[@gothxx]

joelproko what is the other show?

[@joelproko]

Viktor Mellgren Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw's "Zero Punctuation".

[@OmneAurumNon]

1:14 Tom drawing syntax trees with his hands :,D

[@notthatcreativewithnames]

0:40 I'm not sure if I want to use Gary's gas for my respiration for my trip to the moon...

[@bjarnenilsson80]

Yes the balloon to to moon would require respiratory equipment, no matter the passengers on board space as indeed the moon has a distinct lack of breathable oxygen

[@narnigrin]

@2:40 Well done Chris, that is indeed Scotland in a nutshell

[@harleycurnow5242]

Looks like the rest of my Saturday night will be spent watching S3 of Citation needed and giggling to myself. Thanks Tom and co.

[@4eyesinthecorner399]

“I’ve literally been in that meeting” - slight brag in being a former candidate for prime minister there eh?

[@kwibloupthesomething]

Tom as PM would be great, I’d move immediately

[@PhoenixClank]

7:53 I didn't know Tom Scott could make almost as good sounds as Gary Brannan!

[@epicsnail14]

congratulations, you win a star wars character with a painkiller addiction its emperor solpadene alternatively Anadin skywalker

[@linkVIII]

googled the phrase "uk independence pandas". Did not find this video

[@archiejmmiles6895]

10:49 as a former candidate in 3 elections, I can confirm this! Some of the things I have seen were... interesting

[@connermckay4012]

Alternate Title: The Technical Difficulties bash Scottish folklore for 12:25 straight.

[@harshavardhanhajeri1753]

after watching a lot of newer episodes, it is disorienting to see matt's intro before garry's

[@stocktonjoans]

this makes me so happy, I spoiled my ballot and added "I will not vote for the shiniest turd" :D

[@storytree5143]

I absolutely love these shows, they're so entertaining!

[@relativelylucid]

Has no one before found the correlation between a country with a food culture of the food groups fried and fermented, and a almanac of mythical animals that shape shift into other mythical animals? Further study might be indicated.

[@zperk13]

8:25 I mean you just kinda described the "Smilers" from S5E2 i think it was "The Beast Below"

[@recklessroges]

7:49 Is the "They will also shelter on land" joke just using heather as Heather?

[@sammarks9146]

"Is it a fish, in the same way that a duck is a fish?"

[@dliessmgg]

As a myth-loving atheist I am always saddened when people can't suspend their disbelief for even a second...

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

What is [strangely pronounced word]? A bird! A fish! Some old british tradition? Some of them usually works.

[@ShariaTwain]

call me old fashioned but I miss Gary's kitchen

[@xylowhite7063]

it's matt's

[@siggitiggi]

A great auk. Also known in Iceland as Geirfugl. Last two are assumed to have been killed for trophies but like other similar birds (like the puffins) they were considered good food. Puffin is in fact still considered good food.. Yes you mispronounced those names, and they're patronyms.

[@sjmww1235]

I love the simultaneous burst of laughter at the beginning of the episode

[@kevinbevin2]

So glad this is back!

[@w0033944]

May I ask if Chris Joel works for Norfolk Wildlife Trust? I've found a reference to a "Chris Joel" who works for them, and others have mentioned that he's in conservation, so I thought I'd ask.

[@w0033944]

Cheers! Presumably he moved on.

[@amyclarke6176]

Should we be scared or impressed that you might have found out where Chris worked? Note to self never get on the bad side of Tom Scott subscribers 😂

[@FoxLosst]

It was probably delicious! "Panthers?"

[@XxR4GA5xX]

this is soooo nerdy.....and i LOVE IT

[@Detschizm]

Ever been in a room, where everyone is talking about things you know nothing about.

[@hornylink]

+Detschizm yeah, I keep getting dragged to church.

[@GrantWitherspoon]

+hornylink best answer

[@MrRobinhalligan]

Yet another insane show, Keep it up :)

[@Joeobrown1]

i don't want these to end

[@Snagprophet]

This was before the election? There's only 1 LibDem and 1 Labour MP in Scotland now as well.

[@samuelfitzgerald2025]

insects are animalia...

[@msclrhd]

The Naval computing air defense: the Grace Hopper Chopper Stopper!

[@theprimestskeletron676]

If they ever have someone standing in for Gary they really should just give him the same intro.

[@Jerikeld]

I could get these in audio form but here and minimized the ad revenue still flows

[@Swkoll]

Love the show! Is this the first time you've used a peer reviewed article?

[@AnubisDeLeon1971oct1]

Good conversations, and "God save the Pandas"

[@adammullarkey4996]

7:00 Gonna be honest, I misheard as "animals on chips."

[@phiwi96]

I love this show!

[@bobtheduck]

The airship thing reminds me of Candle Cove. And detective inspector bird was almost exactly like Gravity Falls.

[@AlexiLaiho227]

"balloon to the moon" my favorite! the easiest way to get heroin back across the Mexican border.

[@gnomee9447]

OMG I knew the Babbages Cabbages!

[@Delsinsmoke32]

10:20 Il capitano del Vascellazzo, Barbascura X, approva.

[@bp32216]

your videos are awesome

[@Tokkemon]

This show is glorious.

[@Penguat]

So, what were the mystery biscuits? are they truly won and taken home? are they ceremonially sacrificed with a nice cup of tea? Or are you carefully preserving the mystery?

[@MySerpentine]

I rather like kelpies, myself. Water horses are always fun.

[@Asrtyulg]

So happy, I knew the Great Auk!

[@UnknowinglyDerpy]

An airship with a face painted on it. Kirovs from Red Alert

[@MrHeebieJeebie8]

Love this show!