The BPD Bunch: Ep 9 - Intense Anger

In this Episode, Xannie, Andrea, Jay, Georgette and André talk about the eighth of 9 symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder listed in the DSM-5: Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger
The Bunch share their experiences with the symptom to give you insights into the different ways someone with BPD might experience intense anger. They also cover the different ways they manage that symptom, to give you hope and direction for managing it yourself!
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Want to know more about this week’s cast? Check out their 1-1 interviews here:
Xannie: • Meet the BPD Bunch - X...
Andrea: • Meet the BPD Bunch - A...
Jay: • Meet the BPD Bunch - Jay
Georgette: • Meet the BPD Bunch - G...
André: • Meet the BPD Bunch - A...
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Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!
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Disclaimer:
Although several of our panelists work in the mental health field, we are all coming to you as people in functional recovery from BPD, and are not here to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Instead, we hope that by sharing our stories and what was helpful for us, you can gain some insight and direction into your own recovery ❤️‍🩹

[@annetteniemann9718]

I see my BPD as Zuko from Avatar, The Last Airbender. He was a good kid who went through severe trauma, leading to extreme rage and loss of identity. He was always trying to please his father (favorite person), and once he discovered the truth (therapy). he chose to change, but it wasn't easy. It was a process.

[@suzannaleiper5101]

He’s one of my favorite characters❤

[@julieinmpls]

When it comes to children growing up to be angry adults, I think NOT allowing anger is just as harmful as anger being the accepted mode of communication. Tell a child to tamp down all those confusing feelings, and to do so because they are shameful on top of that? whoo boy. I actually had a little of both in my world, which made for an interesting outcome in myself 😕

[@dilbertfish]

I hate the anger, but once that ball starts rolling I can't stop it.

[@lindsaytucker5952]

I’m a mom with a teenage daughter who has BPD, I can’t express how insightful these videos are!! Zannie everything you say in every one of the videos sounds just like my daughter to a T!! When you said you had the cops called and you just felt like no one understood and all you wanted was for them to understand, I went through the same situation with my daughter, on another video you said you don’t feel like you exist, my daughter said that to me at a pretty young age, I remember thinking how odd it was that she said that, children don’t typically say stuff that complex. Since she was a very young child I noticed things that were different with her, not in a way most people would think twice on but instinctively I felt there was something off. I have constantly been looking for ways to help her not knowing what truly was wrong, I’m glad we finally have an answer so that we can finally get on the road to “recovery” there’s so many great qualities she has but the BPD has been controlling her and masking those qualities. She still has a hard time thinking things will get better that she won’t always feel like this, so again thank you for sharing and giving knowledge and hope to so many people who suffer from this as well as their loved one. Just as it’s nowhere near easy for all who have it, it is also so challenging for the loved ones and how we can genuinely help. Thank you again!!!

[@pottygok]

1:49 “Anger is protective.” I’m at work on break and I’m almost sobbing because I’ve tried to explain this to so many people and this is the first time I’ve heard someone else understand. 😢😢😢

[@thebpdbunch]

So glad we can help you feel understood!

[@harleystevensson]

Recently diagnosed at 37. Appreciate yall.

[@cherry2261]

Wow this video was so moving. The whiplash after an anger episode has been so debilitating sometimes. That feeling of "I am untouchable and right." Followed so closely by "how could I have ever been this way..." Can take you down for so long. Such a moving video.

[@suzannaleiper5101]

One of the best books that’s helped me more than anything is reading Harriet Lerner’s “The Dance of Anger”

[@moonk1859]

Asking for the accomodations is hard but getting the respect from others is even harder. I try to surround myself with understanding people but at work some people in high management functions are extremely respectless. It is very hard

[@RobinWolfraim-Jenkins]

I found your vlogcast/podcast on Spotify, and came here to see more of the content that is not shared there. I was Diagnosed with BPD in December of 2022. My Previous diagnosis was ADHD with extreme anxiety and Depressive Disorder. I still have the Extreme anxiety and Depression. I have gone through all the episodes on Spotify, up to the Jan 4th episode, and they have already helped me so much I am writing down small insights that I gain from listening. I am also going to do an Art project on internalized loneliness. Thank you to everyone for sharing their process and being so vulnerable in each episode. My journey began with ADHD and healing in some way up till my Diagnosis. You all give me hope that I will at least be able to begin to balance myself.

[@lilyesalehi]

So relatable ❤️ Such sweet hearts under the monstrous protective anger ❤❤❤ Writing (journaling) is a great tool for me. Also voice memos !!! Such a helpful thing, from the speaking it out (safely bc it’s private) to the relistening to it 😅 Thank you for this video 🙏

[@user-rl1eh8ti6y]

I feel this. When I get angry I go from 0 to 100 very quickly and find it hard to control. It stems from not feeling like I'm being listened to or gaslit so it starts of a justified form of anger but immediately afterwards I feel so much shame and guilt. So I totally relate which makes me think I may have bpd or something else.

[@saintriss]

The surfing analogy is so good

[@suzannaleiper5101]

I love that, replace the word anger with the word fear ❤

[@rashae6804]

thank you all so much. i really appreciate hearing more stuff from ppl who actually experience this stuff.

[@KaeLeenYu]

Waw ! Relate so much ! ^^ Thank you all for these testimonies. The BPD Bunch team is so awesome !💗

[@suzannaleiper5101]

I also feel my feelings in my arms, thank you for sharing❤

[@lreid001]

I’m really enjoying your show. Keep up the good work guys!!!

[@helenilindsell5684]

You're amazing Xannie. I value your show SO much

[@thebpdbunch]

Wow, thank you! 😍🥹

[@michaelkmckracken8915]

Great topic. Great insights. Thanks for everything all of you contribute to this program. There is a song lyric that speaks to me on this topic that I’ve turned into an accidental mantra & reminder to keep myself in check… “With a mouth full of teeth, you ate all your friends Then you broke every heart, thinking every heart mends.”

[@lolly93420]

Replace anger by fear - love that! Thank ypu all for this ep🖤🙏🏾

[@joeennis6523]

Thanks for the video. Im 36 ,Iv been diagnosed with BPD last year. I also suffer from depression. Unfortunately wen i was 16 i was sexually abused. It doesnt take much to trigger my anger. Police have been called on me pleanty of times and been arrested twice. Ive never been physical thank goodness. I have 2 beautiful children and havent seen them in the past 2 years.😢 There is no in between for me, im either really sad or really happy. Here in ireland the awareness of mental health is pretty bad.

[@arnowillekes7979]

As a quiet borderline this comes up occasionally but my outbursts can be very extreme and nasty…recently lost new friendships because of this…😢

[@helenilindsell5684]

such a helpful episode AND(!) they all are!

[@slyboogydatsmyname]

Hey, Andrea. Sending a virtual hug your way- hope you are doing awesome.. :) Can one of you please share the things you wrote under influence of anger? only if not too personal!

[@7velvet]

Hi! Virtual hug right back at ya! So when it came down to what I would write it would be something pretty hurtful maybe I was really hurting so I would name call or name out that they didn’t care about me, or maybe even reciprocate the same anger they were giving me so I would mirror the behavior. One thing about me personally is the utter guilt I would feel about my words that I said that I knew I didn’t mean at all, AND couldn’t take back was bc I was just hurting. So writing it and deleting became helpful. I hope this answers your question!

[@slyboogydatsmyname]

@@7velvet Yep-Thanks!

[@mellowray561]

You are all speaking from me.

[@mellowray561]

And thank you.

[@vickibowers03]

How can I deal with the anger? Please help

[@njb2cool]

I'm 65 years old I've been dealing with this issue all my life and never really understood it talk about jugglers I've actually went after my son my brother-in-law and maybe even others I actually physically put my hands on their neck not only do I have this issue but I also have chronic suicide idolization I've been talking about that since about 2002 at least I lost my family I lost my business I lost my self-respect and love for myself and even today I still have issues I don't ever feel that I'm going to get through all this I would just rather be done with life so I don't have to deal with myself

[@dilbertfish]

I feel like that a lot too. Keep safe.