The BRUTALLY Honest Reason Guys Stop Chasing In A Relationship (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

[@ALPHAGENXCORP]

When woman gets into relationship - she hopes the man will change. When man gets into relationship - he hopes the woman won't change.

[@GMacII]

Or their so focused on trying to CHANGE their man

[@thetruth7354]

@BEAST NYC...truer words have never been spoken. Stay single.

[@FractalPrism.]

"i can fix him!" -her, at the start "ugh, he did everything i nagged him to....now i dont like him" -her, later

[@poopingwhilestanding5801]

@@FractalPrism. 100% correct! She changes him, then doesn't like him because he's changed to make her happy. There was a reason why for tens of thousands of years, women followed the man and in return he provided security, provision and protection. Now the government does that.

[@jonniehankerson9522]

Facts

[@rcbreakdown3066]

Speaking from marriage of 24 years, I can attest to the advice this guy is giving. Excellent advice that is working. The moment you take your partner for granted is the moment you begin losing them.

[@angelajia3800]

You should not want him to chase in a relationship. That’s the key mistake. You should make him feel like home so he feels safe to be himself and he feels warm around you. Believe or not, a man needs to feel safe in a woman’s presence too. Make him feel loved and respected without being clingy. You should definitely still keep yourself busy. But don’t play games or at least don’t make him feel that way.

[@alexzanderroberts995]

it's a very fine line. But games here and there are fun too. Shits tests however are not.

[@dannyroe5236]

It's called being feminine.... (And I'm sure no woman going to want to hear that.)... At the end of the day that's what keeps a man around.

[@Shtotagdetotryot1]

@@dannyroe5236 no woman? I’m all about being feminine, this whole feminist movement is insane. Theres still plenty feminine women out there. You can’t generalize an entire group just because of what you see at work or media and possibly personal experiences. Women have to be masculine at work or out in the real world, it’s the only way to survive for us men made it that way. It doesn’t mean we are like this all the time. At home and with close people is where a woman’s true feminine energy shines through

[@cherrybacon3319]

When I told my Boyfriend I wanted some time to myself to BE MYSELF, he sent me a Voicemail saying "He's not wasting his life anymore and is saying 'Goodbye'". At that point I'd had enough and blocked him. 🍒

[@Hotsince83]

@@Archangel2020 no, you're too busy with Tinder.

[@MHKing03]

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." -- Will Durant

[@lunaticmickful]

I going to remember this one

[@meaningfulmind]

Just here to prevent this quote from being misattributed. It was Aristotle who said that. Have a Good Day.

[@MrHansBattle]

A partner who puts effort into looking good and developing personally -- and then stops once they are in a committed relationship -- has used a "bait and switch" strategy.

[@yourdarkness999]

People really do that

[@MultiWeen]

It's not a bait and switch when the guy feels responsible for the future of himself, his girl and potential children and is working 60+ hours a week and when he has free time just wants to relax with his girl and enjoy her company and not have to keep dealing with little fights and her need for validation and her desire to always be doing activities. Not sayin that's everybody but that is a story as old as time. Man works his ass off to afford his family a good life and once he has the house and some money stacked up the wife wants a divorce and hopefully before the man finds out she been fuckin the next door neighbor. Why because she just doesnt love him anymore and/or she was lonely. Even though she stopped working out, doesnt wear makeup, wears sweats, hair pulled back in a ponytail when hes home. Still dresses up to go to work and look good for steve her just "friend" at the office though. They became really good friends too.

[@jenlinds1]

MultiWeen So she ‘bait & switch’ed you too. Sounds like you both did it. You attract what you are. Be true with who you are & find someone who does the same. There are all types out there...just got to find your fit (& you’ll do it by working on yourself to be who you want to be.)

[@jenlinds1]

Completely agree. I do think society does this too. The ‘fake it till you make it’, etc. If we were all just real with each other we’d be able to find our match much more easily. There’s someone out there for everyone

[@niceISbriss]

@@jenlinds1 is that what you get from his comment GO FUCK YOURSELF asshole

[@misssparkle8317]

If 'excitement' is your only motivation & glue for being with someone then it's not a person you need, it's a life.

[@jurate2376]

Best comment

[@arnavrawat9864]

It's not excitement, rather how excited/happy you *make your partner feel* Your partner isn't a soldier, people need something in return for the energy they invest. That's reality. Of course you raise a good point, but not everyone seeking their satisfaction is shallow.

[@mahoganysoul7195]

Truth !

[@flowerflower5431]

Well Said.!!

[@arnavrawat9864]

@George Bush Demand? Are you sure it is a fair deal for both sides?

[@calicoc1335]

:/ If you are looking for someone you want to be with long term, don't put on a facade, don't do something you are not going to continue to do.

[@Yatsura2]

there is a reason for that, you know?

[@NotSoSecretLifewithBella]

true

[@kristaharris5396]

Good point!

[@way2girly]

Calico C exactly

[@EbonyEveryDay]

Calico C ok !!!! Go head, nice and simple!

[@Queen42097]

I literally want to scream out! "THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR!!!!" This is so true, ive been in a 2 and a half year relationship, and everything matthew Hussey just said ive let slip, i was the most motivated, fit, strong minded individual, ive lost some of those things completely and some of those things partially, and honestly recently ive been more motivated, and i'm trying to get myself back and raise my standards, were supposed to be growing together and i need to set the standard for myself and for our relationship! Who else is going through this?

[@Sustainability.Matters]

How did that work out for u sis. Share pls

[@georgiakatsikadama994]

Every word you said describes what i am in through right now...I could not believe in the past if anyone d tell me that I would seriously lose myself in a relationship and i almost did...Even though i broke up with him multiple times i was still addicted to him and o could not break up for real.Thank God he did!Ever since then i ve been trying to find the evergy i had before i met him ..

[@kay3-q8d]

How do you raise the standard?

[@nimishatutu9857]

this is what exactly happened with me. and he broke up. i am regretting it so much now. but i have promised my self to be the best version of myself again.

[@JD-jz8vl]

Yes and it's only been a week apart and my lowered sense of self has gone and I'm nearly back to the old me. Once I realised he was taking me for granted and regarded me as his 'rock' I was out of it. Don't think he realises yet though as I don't want to have the breakup conversation with him. He'll try make me feel guilty

[@samanthali1650]

Absolutely true, before having a boyfriend, I was so so driven to make my everyday count in every aspect, for example expanding my knowledge, skill sets, social circles. However, as time goes on, the strength from me and my partner becomes stronger, and my personal life is starting to become lazy. What he said was ABSOLUTELY 100% true. I started to rely so so much on my partner on everything, and I only started to look forward to spend time with him that I started to lose the closeness I had with my friends, or even stuff I enjoyed doing prior to my relationship. So yea, find anything that’s interesting outside from your partner, it makes yourself feel sooo much better

[@bleuberry9636]

I’ve been married for nearly 15 years and this advice is still relevant!

[@hunwarrior1535]

You can't make somebody happy in a relationship, unless you know how to make yourself happy first, and maintain that!!!

[@arnavrawat9864]

Really? I can think of a counterexample. Narcissistic people know how to keep themselves happy, but they make terrible partners...

[@asrieldartagnan9782]

@@arnavrawat9864 She's saying it's a necessary condition, not a sufficient one, i.e. it's not the *only* skill you require, but one that is needed nonetheless.

[@auchitsawai]

U must be still single

[@MrWill1729]

Arnav Rawat narcissists love themselves, you need to accept yourself

[@saiquanjackson4235]

Hun Warrior You people are just plain old scumbags!

[@ikonora]

This is true. I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 and half years now and I see that. There is a saying 'keep doing what you did in the beginning of the relationship and the relationship won't have an end', or something like that. People stop with the love, with the passion, with the chasing. They get too comfortable. My boyfriend and I are doing that, and I feel like it's time for me to step out of the comfort box and start doing my things again.

[@Chamitammy]

Go on, girl! :) I wish you so much fun!! :)

[@jc3195]

Yes, my friend may have the same problem. You grasped his point very well.

[@Haghenveien]

+Renata Ikonora I think mutal admiration is essential in a couple and it's very difficult for yor partner to be proud of you if you do nothing. Besides, if he's smart, when he sees that you can make it perfecty fine without him, he will be less likely to take you for granted.

[@ikonora]

+Haghenveien Lovely! Thank you very much!

[@Jenifferlibros]

+Renata Ikonora I thought I was the only one that felt this way....our happiness cannot rely on other people shoulders (easy to say) but let's make it happen

[@lanam.thompson2069]

OMG this is totally true. Don't stop doing what you are doing when you meet someone. Have your own life and they have theirs. You wont come off as clingy. Good video :) Never lose yourself in a relationship:)

[@johnkochen7264]

Getting comfortable in a relationship is good. It shows trust which is important. What is crucial is letting the significant other that you are happy to be together. Show interest, be sensitive to the signals the other gives and be responsive to his/her needs.

[@malvikabaru]

This is such a critical thing. Not just for the relationship. The point you said "life is about balance". I remember what I read somewhere, "Don't give up things you love for someone you love because the one you love may leave you for things he love but things you love will stay yours."

[@iCeleste7]

I had an ex who would say, "Well I already got you, so why do I have to try?" and laugh it off. That really pissed me off. I wanted a partner who I could GROW WITH

[@SoleilMagica]

+Celeste R Depends what he means by trying.

[@MaricaIvica]

Hahah he is lazy

[@iCeleste7]

CounterStrike211 Nope. I just know what I'm worth.

[@elleari89]

+Celeste R I think we all get comfortable, too comfortable because their is no more intrigue. you tell them everything you did from the moment you get up til bedtime. there is no mystery. its boring. your always there. even you will get board of that and dont wana try. but the moment they wana hang and you busy, the moment they text and you take long to reply, suddenly their interested. I think what Matt is showing us, is that its our fault and in our power to intrigue our guys into wanting to grow with us

[@Angelface11]

+Elle- Ari Eh...I am not bored with someone though...both partners have to work at it and I find stability very romantic and comfy and it makes me be even more loving..it's all in perspective!

[@EatYourVegs]

This guy is incredible. So empathetic, so relatable, so charismatic and flowing, and so on point. But most importantly, he has a british accent!

[@wowerman]

So most important is his accent???F....me.You really know how to spot good values.

[@ajgjngfthyfbk7564]

I think it was irony. ^^

[@wowerman]

+Gallifreya789 There is some but "most importantly" what matter more to people is a factor nothing to do with points from video.Its like saying she can not cook and she is messy but she has got big boobs so I will marry her.LOGIC?

[@ajgjngfthyfbk7564]

The "most importantly" was the ironic part, because most people would agree that his accent is obviously not the most important thing about his videos. It was just a little joke, get over it and don't make this a discussion about sexism or something like that, please.

[@wowerman]

Gallifreya789 Yeah, you are right, so many women commenting about his voice as irony instead making some comments on content.YES, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

[@elleari89]

Waw, didnt even realise i was continuously making myself unattractive over a long period of time. All i use to do was complain about how he stopped complimenting me, stop being excited to see me and i would complain and try to CONVINCE HIM that i was still amazing when i should have been SHOWING HIM.

[@empress_highpriestess3307]

@Elle L a vicious and short sighted observation

[@rhythms3450]

Dude time to get my ass moving

[@chaseo4557]

Arielle Seerattan us guys learn from a young age to pay attention to a women’s actions not her words

[@YasminMahnaz]

@@KARENboomboomROXX that's interesting... just out curiosity.. why you on this video of the help needing humans...? R u picking up lines? I don't get it..so don't work on urself?

[@YasminMahnaz]

@@KARENboomboomROXX ps twisting into pretzel unattractive true..

[@agentdark64]

The more the guy shows interest, the less the women shows interest and plays hard to get. That's why guys are not motivated anymore. The system rewards lazy guys.

[@dxdy-gz6xq]

@@haladuabubakar4400 😂😂😂 She is an ex for a reason 🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️.... women are crazy

[@kukluxklangaming2060]

@@haladuabubakar4400 remove thou self young scammer

[@crushingzero]

Women don't realize that they been insensitivizing bad behavior

[@castanedaalfredo9217]

@@haladuabubakar4400 outa here wid dat BS

[@Root4BeerFloats]

No. Men showing interest is men showing *misplaced* interest. Modern men aren't valued by anyone, unless they are self-made, so they need to learn to do their own upkeep until then. They keep their own home, and generate income for themselves. Modern men learned to do everything they needed women for, while doing what they were needed for as men. Modern women gave up the knowledge of how to keep a home to generate income. These women didn't learn to do both, they traded their traditional role to do something no one needed them to do.

[@LisaGemini]

If you've chosen the right person, you'll want to keep learning more about them and growing together. That will naturally increase the attraction.

[@brandonjablasone7544]

Cap 🧢

[@firstlast-er9jq]

@@brandonjablasone7544 they dont actually believe 95% of the things they say it just sounds good

[@supritiphani1282]

Sounds true

[@JankaFitvlogs]

I'm married but still trying to look good every single day, I'm still growing and learning..

[@kandybennet8847]

The best quote out here

[@reisswilliams286]

Matt, as a single 23 year old guy, I really appreciate your work even though its directed to women, I can harvest alot from it too. I love that you're bridging the gap between men and women without trying to remove the gap. you keep things dynamic and playful. Love it man, great stuff

[@ochiorbus]

Being happy is attractive. Being fulfilled makes you happy. The moment you start focusing on her more then you focus on yourself, the moment you lean on her, the attraction fades aways. That's it. I know, it's sad... but, that's it.

[@Janopooh]

Complacency in a relationship is co-dependance. You feel secure due to another person

[@blinghelmetsllc2439]

Happiness starts within. I’ve always said no one can make me happy but they can add to my happiness. Love self first the rest will fall into place

[@EnterpriseKnight]

I don't feel this is just for women... Gold advice even for men.

[@KevZen2000]

EnterpriseKnight Dating isn't worth it for men. Friends with benefits or just one night stands.

[@vie2210]

Simp

[@Roamstrong]

In reality, most advice that state some factoid meant to be applied to men or women specifically (especially if we're speaking psychology) end up applying to both. But business wise... you gotta niche down at some point to grab people's attention. And what better way than focusing on a label (man, woman)? ... I digress.

[@nunyabisnass1141]

What ive learned a long time ago is to not treat women as a different species. Ultimately you both want the exact same things, but neither really knows that.

[@jugular911]

@@nunyabisnass1141 What's the exact same things we want?

[@tulabean2297]

if you are seeking satisfaction outside of yourself all relationships suck..........life is an inside job

[@5MARYANNA5]

That Really Really shook me! Wow... you are so right. I'll let that sink in, I want to find happiness away from him again

[@arnavrawat9864]

The truth has been spoken

[@christinarouse1209]

Tula Bean then what’s the point of partnership? Especially if single life and single men treat you better

[@ralx225b]

The true reason for partnership is for raising kids.

[@paulcooper5748]

👍👏

[@NesrineKada]

THIS IS SO EYE OPENING !!!! love you so much for this seriously I needed to hear this !! I have been in a relationship for 8 months and since month number 2 I was already with no friends, no gym time, no family time, no nothing (not necessarly because of him) and also have been struggling with depression and anxiety which made me very needy of someone to be by my side !! And it made me feel like I could not live without his attention and I definitly noticed a huge difference in the way he perceived me but I'm trying to get on top of things now and get back to the person I was because before him I was single for 2 and half years so being self sufficient was second nature to me! THANK YOU MATT FOR THIS ! Love xx

[@tarrageina2751]

Nesrine Kada omg going through this same thing..I know I have to take care of me first..I cant look for him to make me feel better.. not fair to him..I love him but he's pushy back instead of forward!!!

[@julissaalvarez8892]

Holy shit you just stole the words from my mouth im in the same boat

[@Anjstacansi]

OMG SAME

[@grezzer1427]

I hope you are okay

[@darlenepaul2918]

Are you dating a narrcicist possibly? It sounds like this relationship is toxic to you for some reason.

[@Trizzer89]

Nobody wants to keep chasing. To keep attraction alive you need to build an actual bond, actually be intimate, dont idealize each other, but see each other for what you are

[@HiddenOcelot]

I agree, I love my gf for who she is, shes adorable in her looks and personality, and she has drive to be who she wants and chases her dreams. And I chase what I want too, and I'm committed to her, and she to me. We do things not just for eachother, but for ourselves too. That's the point, do something because you want to, not because you think someone else want to.

[@candacecandace5455]

"Choose someone, don't need someone"

[@paulcooper5748]

Choose yourself first.

[@steveretiredandcranky]

And find reasons to stay with them.

[@margospeigelman6747]

This was so me, and I just realized it few months ago, and now it feels great to know that I'm making changes in my life to do better and that Matt thinks it's necessary in any good relationship.

[@killjeff2]

As a man I know many men need to watch this too .

[@JohnSmith-ks4hc]

As a man. I know a lot more woman need to watch this. Many of us bust our ass to go no result.

[@adamcorfman573]

Ya, it's interesting. I watch these videos and see that Matthew makes sense. Seems pretty straight forward and common sense to me. But before I saw these videos, I was reading advice from Askmen.com and the art of manliness and other sites that basically give advice that is contrary to Matthew's. For example: Matthew talks about guys should text in a timely manner. The advice on other sites say to text slower to drive that uncertainty to maintain attraction. It seems like a lot of women might listen and use Matthew's advice when the majority of men's dating advice sites are countering his and making it seem difficult for the women. This can create a lot of confusion.

[@sophien5416]

Driving uncertainty is the DUMBEST dating advice any man can receive from anyone. Please do not follow this. Reason #1) to deliberately drive uncertainty in a person distinguishes you in the eyes of the woman of value that you are a flake and unreliable. Sure, she may wonder what you are thinking about, but eventually this will wear down her ego and cause her to either push you away or become crazy. #2) The women that will respond to this are usually then driven by a need for uncertainty and will likely reciprocate accordingly, so it all becomes a game. A game you have to keep up forever. You never get to the authentic versions of yourself. And surprise, surprise, you likely attracted a woman who lacks stability in her mindset. #3) A man who is decisive about what he wants and how he approaches you is just plain sexy. You want her? Then claim her. Be brave and make it known. She will either follow or she won't, but, hell, she will respect you. Especially if she is a very attractive woman, she likely has multiple men approaching her at once, so if you don't show up to pitch, someone else bolder than you will win her heart. Yes, distance gives space for mystery and eroticism, but that can be done by introducing variety, spontaneity and playfulness in courtship rather than the useless back and fourth of text with holding.

[@ayydude4221]

I think that the human that need this the most, wouldn't even consider it^^

[@racheladdams3365]

Sophie N - This woman knows what she’s talking about! I had this guy constantly flake on me. He would take forever to message me back and he was boring. He asked me out 3 separate times only to bail or completely “forgot about it”. Mind you, I’m an attractive woman who never focuses on 1 guy alone, cause I like to keep my options open. I eventually completely ignored him and started seriously dating someone else. Lo and behold, he comes back almost begging for a date and I told him that I’m already dating someone else. Felt so sweet 🤗 He had so many chances and blew it. Mature and smart women don’t accept BS anymore.

[@blubbmillysings]

I'm just at the very start of a relationship and this is really good advice. I'm not going to change my ambitions to strive being a better person than the day before...

[@wendym4012]

Love this advice, Matthew! We should never stop caring about our appearance or trying to improve ourselves, whether we are in a relationship or not. That's how we become unhappy.

[@KimsLantern]

“Never stop flirting.” I love that.

[@hellfireXIV]

flirting and Russian Roulette has a lot in common

[@LunaFraga]

I'm 60 years old, and I approve this message! hahah you are divine. Passing it on to my daughter, maybe she will finally listen. haha Thanks I couldn't had said it better. Muah!

[@LuisGarciaSprout]

Personally meeting a 62 year old who watches KZbin is like seeing a Unicorn

[@1116may11]

Yes! This is exactly right! Don't stop doing your things! Keep doing your beauty rituals, go on your jog etc. You nailed it Matthew

[@captainevans5840]

Single guys give the best relationship advice 😂

[@dreal500]

Hahahhaahhaha!!!! Tell them again! This is the best comment ever. When I was single I didn't have to answer to anyone. How I have a wife and child to answer to...lol

[@flowerflower5431]

Well Said 🤣🤣

[@carolinekennedy4259]

This is all pretty obvious

[@paulaaflat5643]

Well coaches don't play in the field but in the mind of athletes 😁

[@robertopatron2132]

That Is why they are single 😂😂

[@amateur_artist4795]

Goal: become attracted to yourself

[@vkchamp8948]

That sounds like a narcissist hahaha

[@salthcreative5540]

Ain't gonna lie, the scene where Homer starts making out with himself on the Simpsons immediately sprang to mind.

[@soapyguy6483]

underrated episode

[@betterlatethannever7337]

What a great young woman, wanting to keep the magic in their relationship. I love wanting to get home to my wife and find what we're looking for with each other. We can do that, too, if we both work on it. If that's not what you want then by all means walk on by. I'm 67 now. It's been 33 years since I first met her. I've still not gotten over her, and don't want to.

[@miawallace5541]

My mother always says this. She basically told me: Don't get lazy, don't get out of shape, don't stop listening to him when he talks and letting him know you're there for him. Also, don't forget about excitement and regular intimacy. As she once said: a lady in the streets, a freak in the sheets. This might seem inappropriate but she's very honest with me and her advice works; her and dad have been married for 20 years and he's still head over heels for her.

[@ms.angelshaloville8004]

I can’t stop watching the videos Matthew. I’ve had some great relationships and some not so great ones. I’ve learned to never stop dating your mate and keeping the flirtation going. Also, I think it’s important to keep your standards high after you feel like the relationship is solid. And always always take care of yourself mind, body, and soul. Until I meet the right guy, I’m going to live my best life and prepare for the guy who has the same core values has me and who is also self sufficient.

[@FreeaQySariSin]

This just motivated me so much! I don't have that problem right now but this advice is not only for a relationship but for life. Never forget yourself!!!! That's the way you attract the things around you!

[@Patounee]

Wow so true. I stopped doing those things to concentrate on my relationship and my bf dumped me. So so true. Great life lesson!

[@uaaphilosphyba3092]

You can’t change yourself from Who you were at the beginning. As a man I have a set routine. I work, I have a gym schedule and I have a passion (music). My life is pretty full. If I have someone come into my life, none of that is going to change. The special part of the relationship comes from that person making time (even if it’s small space) for you amongst all of that other stuff that I am doing. Many of my ex’s complained I never gave them enough of my time, they felt insecure and never felt that I loved them or care about them, and I always turned around and asked “what projects are you working on what things are you doing to make your life full outside of me?” You have to learn to miss someone. If your scared that the “one” is going to get away, maybe they’re not the “one” you also have to be confident enough to know that you are enough. Not arrogance, confidence. No one, man or women wants a relationship to be about just that person and then everything else doesn’t matter. Taking care of yourself is YOUR job. Taking care of MYSELF is MY job. We meet at a mutual level that we adjoin those small moments together verse being co-dependent on each other. We meet to enjoy each other, share our lives, compete with each other in a healthy way. No mate man or women ever actually wants to hear the words “I can’t live without you” Because now you’ve stated that everything you were doing up to that point was fake, it was an act. And that is not attractive. Taking care of yourself is attractive. Having a purposeful and meaningful life is attractive. You put our negative energy and you attract negative energy. You put out positive energy, you get positive in return. Everything starts in the mind, law of attraction works.

[@BodyofWater_]

I actually dated a woman who admitted she was trying to keep me away from the gym so I wouldn’t be as attractive. Thinking I’d be of lower risk to be able cheat on her lmao

[@Just2Epic4U]

That is incredibly toxic. Glad to hear you got out of that dude. Keep hitting those weights!

[@brocklesnar8142]

shoulda cheated on her weak lazy ass

[@BodyofWater_]

@@Just2Epic4U Thanks bro! Same here. Long story short she was obviously a psycho and got knocked up about a year after I dumped her so I dodged a bullet! Lol

[@antrakt900]

Well I can't sense any other feelings there than jealousy and selfishness. That's sad my guy.

[@JakefromStateFarm292]

I’ve heard this so many times. If a girl like that went to a gym and saw how some of the women that go there look, she’d lose her fucking mind

[@400nm2]

What a polite way to say: don't get fat. :')

[@bluejean-1968]

No. He said to keep doing things that make you feel sexy. If you feel sexy and fat, then have at it!

[@400nm2]

Lilac Sky Even if you feel sexy fat, for health reasons I would always advise against it.

[@randomrealistictone2231]

visnevskiscom she does have a point tho

[@randomrealistictone2231]

visnevskiscom keeping a healthy body keeps you from getting obese.

[@deena3003]

Random Realistic Tone LOL yeah, pretty much so lol

[@charlesjames2650]

BRILLIANT! FINALLY someone with SPOT ON advice for a healthy relationship because there is no "Happily Ever After" after you find each other like in the movies. You need to keep growing and support each other... and give the little pinch on the bum when she's not expecting it. Pax.

[@Eyaeyaho123]

Just stay being yourself and look after yourself while in a relationship. That’s all he says and now I save your time

[@golocc16]

love that you allow people to figure it out for themselves with a bit of confidence boost from your end. most of the time, we know and have the answer, we just haven't paid enough attention.

[@lovemecom3832]

Do not lose the things about yourself that make you great. when you lose what made you attractive to him initially and lose your confidence in yourself the spark you had in the beginning will fade. Keep active, keep flirting and keep it fun.

[@19jc80]

This brother is dropping nuggets. I couldn't get my ex to understand that I didn't like the contract of marriage because it makes us lazy. We should constantly strive to be better for our partner every day and they should do the same. If you value each other's companionship you'll do that. If one person decides they are done then why would the other person fight to keep them? If you're done with me then go on your merry way.

[@Zitahun]

Never take anybody for granted. That's for sure. :)

[@jelizabethpetrie6656]

So true! Take care of yourself like you have pride in yourself. Everyday, appreciate yourself.

[@Natedoc808]

This is how you make sure your marriage and the love that built it lasts! Follow this advice, it’s pure gold

[@basher4828]

distance always brings back the attraction in a relationship

[@TreyBlogHD]

As a man that's my issue. My ex left me because of that same damn reason. I do get lazy thinking "I already have her I don't need to try anymore" Wish I knew this then to be honest and also wish she told me but sadly that's life. Biggest mistake of my life. still hurting me to this day. Great Advise here even for us men like for real. If you are a man reading this and you have someone special, Don't get comfortable, keep hunting for more and show her how special she is every single day if you can because sometimes we loose someone so special to us, it leaves a permanent scar on the heart that can never be repaired.

[@hyde8348]

Trey Blog HD It's never too late, when you find someone special at least now you know the top secret to stay lovely 😍😉

[@MrLoowiz]

​@Thystaff Thywill To generalize half of the world like that - you either are a loser who got rejected so hard by women that you developed that stupid idea of them, or you just idolize eastern women because of some stupid fetish or w/e.

[@PrecisionPulseCapital]

Hopeuflly you keep this attitude in your next relationship. Its an evolving aspect everyday, when you learn to grow together.

[@DummyFace123]

Siiiimp

[@MultiWeen]

Hard truth bro, men love women for who they are, women love men for what they are. She dont love you, she loves her own feelings. You just illicit them through behaviors and actions. She will never really truly know you, just her own mental creation of you in her mental movie. All romance has been created by men for women not the other way around ever. Most women wouldn't even know what romance for a man is.

[@CogNiXioN1]

This was awesome. In all honesty, this really helped me to reflect on how things went wrong with my ex. This has definitely helped me to understand myself better to be a better person in the future.

[@lynaeeakettgreene7208]

oh wow, we shouldn't stop being ourselves. we're all a me before we're a we. I didn't do all of that in my last relationship, but he did and it did kill the attraction. and honestly, I put so much energy into him and I got almost nothing back. he only ever did the easy or fun things and he left me with all the hard and stressful stuff. it was my job to keep everything running smoothly. I has to support and motivate him and myself. i have zero desire to experience that ever again.

[@Glanzfellchen]

I love and acknowledge, how Matthew instantly felt her vibe and that something was 'off' a little much and took care of her. Not even thinking about the romantic advise, that was good to do, Matt. I think you really helped her feel comfortable in a moment, were she might have felt naked and insecure.

[@hugocgarcia6987]

Don't treat her like a celebrity because she'll treat you like a fan.

[@amylee9]

That’s exactly what happened to Arod and Jlo. He treated her like a celebrity and became a fan. Turned her off. A woman wants an equal.

[@supritiphani1282]

Anyway intelligent females don't like fans !

[@FreeSpirit47]

Fitness is so important to me. If a guy asks me to skip a workout, it's the beginning of the end of the relationship. People should encourage each other in what's important to their bf/gf.

[@mistyalbion4059]

+Brenda B You are indeed rather shale, if workouts are the center of your universe...

[@FreeSpirit47]

Misty Albion Spoken in judgment by one who has no appreciation nor knowledge of the subject

[@MaricaIvica]

Ask him to go with you

[@printthis821]

Brenda B I know I'm late to the party but you are so right!! I've dates women in the past who suggested I skip workouts and it was the beginning of the end.

[@thedoommarine9174]

Judging by your profile picture, it's clearly not "so" important to you lol. Do you do all of your workouts on a fucking eliptical?

[@KittyKatpurr]

this is great... i say this all the time! Relationships shouldnt stunt your growth but promote it xx keep up the awesome, non-sleezy work

[@brandonthevampireslayer]

The capital BRUTALLY in the title made me hesitant to watch because I don’t think I was ready to hear the truth but I was mistaken and happy for it. Any video I have watched of Matthew’s has not only helped me grow but has made me feel heard. He is compassionate and understanding and I am thankful for all of the lessons I keep learning from him.

[@MijoShrek]

Matthew radiates genuine relationship insight because it's putting perspective for prosperity in relationships not from game perspective that both sexes can gain from

[@lilred666666]

iv been with my man for ten years. we just say ' I love you" every day and do things for each other every day. and he is my best friend and lover.

[@big_bubbab4254]

Men stop chasing because they don't want to go to jail!

[@XoXo475]

It’s a real shame when only one of you is putting most of the effort in a relationship, and it’s usually the person with the most to lose and who’s madly in love with the other person…

[@cloud-seven]

Good answer. Dont give your power away to anyone, you by yourself are enough, you dont need anyone and there is an abundance of people if this one wants to go.

[@melrecto3060]

This is absolutely true! I have been so needy to my long distance husband that I forgot that he has his own life there and I have mine to live here. I thought that he has been complacent about our relationship after we got married. But now I can say that I need to work on myself as well, for me not to became too much needy of him, that it affects our relationship already. Thanks a lot! Who else have the same scenario as mine?

[@ghillieman6503]

If you really love someone, you accept their flaws, and even if they feel insecure you still love them. If you value the relationship only on looks it isnt true love. Im not saying looks arent important, but if you are going to spend every day with a person you better make sure he/she loves and appreciates you the way you are.

[@izabelpavlova5024]

Ghillie Man it's about bettering yourself not just getting comfortable and lazy in your relationship

[@arnavrawat9864]

You're talking about 'unconditional selfless love'. That is childish. It also a fantasy. Realise, that relations are not made in heaven, they are between people. There is no soul mate, only people you like because you (and they) put effort into the relationship. "Love shouldn't discriminate, otherwise its not love" If this is, in fact true, it also becomes an excuse for people to become lazy. It becomes an excuse for them. To say "you don't love me because you don't accept my flaws, your love is cheap" when actually they just don't want to work on themselves. Be real with yourself. Love exists only if you put effort into the relationship.

[@alexanderringler5747]

I believe in unconditional love... however, you are not able to love someone, if you are not able to act in your interest and improve yourself and be the best version of you. - also unconditional is only the love of a parent to their child (in best case)

[@quantumfrost9467]

Ghillie Man it’s more the fact of not trying and putting effort in that screws it up

[@fari7535]

I agree! I believe in unconditional love. I witness this with my grandparents. My grandmother died of a terminal illness and she was sick for a very long long time. I have seen how much she changed - physically, mentally and emotionally but my grandfather accepted all of her. If you can love someone who is in a vegetative state - take care of that person day and night, that is unconditional love and that is not a fantasy or something you just see in movies. It happens.

[@RiderRed]

This is exactly what happened to me my girl I met 7 years ago and we recently broke up, it's crazy how a person will gain 60 lbs and not realize this changes you mentally physically but you expect your partner to see you the same, your litterly a different person now. Depression, cognitive dissonance, denial or just laziness? I tried everything from leading by example to doing healthy couple things together nothing worked, can't help those who don't love or help themselves.

[@mortythenaughty4630]

yu were perfect i guess ? how can u break up for a weight gain ...? are u people normal? love is unconditionnal ok ?

[@RiderRed]

love it not unconditional its always conditional, would you stay with physically abusive alcoholic, no one is perfect, but there's only so much counseling, be verbal, being silent,being passive supportive one can do before it talk a tole on you, 3 years To be exact.. no not perfect and It's not some simple " oh we over ate this weekend" we are talking about addiction and emotional/physical changes. No one killed anyone over eating on tacos, but food just like alcohol can be an deadly addiction, But rather than ask deeper questions you internalized and placed your bias upon a brief set of sentences. I watched this video for guidance cause > still love her but love don't fix things actions do, so I love from a distsnce.

[@peacefulTx]

This is why my relationship ended. We were only together for 6 months. In the beginning I was always going out, enjoying life and focusing on myself. But once we made things official, I slowly but surely made my relationship my life and he was literally the only thing that made me happy. He cared about me, but I could tell he was starting to lose attraction and that caused me to be insecure, which led to even bigger problems! It's unfortunate cause I really liked him. I'm actually the one who broke things off, but only because I didn't want him to dump me first. We still talk and consider each other friends, and maybe in the future that attraction will come back now that I'm focusing on myself again, but only time will tell. I'm glad it happened though cause I learned so much!! And this video was the answer to why my relationship failed and ended so quickly. Never get too comfortable! That was my first relationship, so I guess that's why I had no idea how to keep him attracted to me, but I know now! Time to make some changes (:

[@misssparkle8317]

+OnaLPatrick Don't think you should be so hard on your self. Your self is what he should have been attracted to, not your meaningless actions & lack of company. If he loved your true self then that would have been enough & you would have not needed to feel insecure, he would have loved having you around more.

[@cathrinapaulatamayo8728]

Omg same :(((

[@GrandAirTrineAstro]

I was in slightly similar situation but he spent time with his ex, mother of their two kids daily and I did spend time on myself, was in top shape but he had choices so yes I did walk away not to be dumped which I could sense was coming. I couldn’t compete with 16 years history and 2 kids and frankly didn’t want to

[@rekha5543]

Onabanana how are you now. Moved on ...or the same man...

[@davidrodgers9558]

Why do women think it's all about them all the time .. ?

[@Deb.L.]

Keep doing the things that make us feel passionate about life, that keeps us growing, that makes us come alive. Nothing can be further away from this truth. It is about being accountable for our life, self actualising and minimising regrets. We do not wait or stall for someone else to make life good for us, to bring us happiness or bring us whatever we desire, we make good art, now, out of what we have. We grow and glow our happiness. When we are happy this way, we make it easy for good things to unfold.

[@free_spiritluv8699]

So so true. I wish I understood this more, at all even. Being older now helps but the loss of my 10 year relationship hit hard. But I take away from this, grow, do you, and you really can NOT be happy with someone else if your NOT at your best! This is the hard part! You rock Matthew thank you. ALL your insight, knowledge, wisdom and experience helps so so much.

[@Heritagepostfarms]

My ex gained 20 pounds, started "bumming" it around me 24/7 and became meaner and meaner each month. Yea, towards the end I didnt do anything for her. I actually started to resent her

[@lewisburgatheist]

im litterally at that point in my relationship....1 step from walking away.

[@RationalMinded]

The resentment is normal and typical at that point. She can cry to you about her weight all day, but let you be the one to say something about her weight and you'll be hearing about it for the rest of your life.

[@pvrebs9050]

What can we do to not get to that level?

[@Heritagepostfarms]

@@pvrebs9050 You cant. All you can do is make it know from the start that you expect her to maintain her weight or the relationship is over

[@ladyfibonaccii]

Wow...... it's called not giving up on the person you love. I'm chubby my boyfriend loves it but he also wants me to be healthy and he bugs me about it a lot but I'm glad he does. It means he cares and wants to be here for my journey to a healthier life. He wants to help me, and grow with me. That's love.

[@anuragthecoach]

Totally I agree with your points. As per my opinion, don’t attend your customers yourself.

[@williamramos3350]

The greatest lesson I got from being in relationships and a marriage (divorced) is that it is extremely complicated.

[@SFrye-qn7fz]

Great advice! This is so right on the money, my wife and I still flirt with each other on a daily basis and our spice is alive and well.

[@MadaraUchiha-ly8wr]

Someone need to keep reminding the world of this because people can forget or avoid this lesson.

[@ggrthemostgodless8713]

A "balanced" life or relationship, means to do what she wants, go where she wants, putting yourself second... and that's not going to happen. "Compromising" means she is happy.

[@philliphamilton1626]

I think I made this mistake. Probably one of the factors for losing the best gf I had. That said, too much chase is also a turn off. Recently finished a relationship because I was being forced to do the chase constantly to even get a reply... being strung along I guess. Chasing can be a real turn off it is being forced out of you constantly.

[@rayt2065]

Relationships are never really about the person you are with. The person that you are with is a reflection of who you are.

[@LL-wu5ui]

The sad thing is... I did all those things. I didnt let myself go. I worked out. I had my own friends. I had new hobbies, i made money, i tried hard for my career. I still showed him he is amazing and that i loved him. I made sure he knows I love and appreciate him. He still left. Doesnt love me anymore.... just like that. He waa pretty rude when he was breaking up with me but he still said I didnt do anything wrong.

[@LonjeMarie7]

He’s right! Always keep your purpose in your passion when you lose interest in yourself ,that makes them lose interest in us.You’re not doing it to control them you’re doing it so you can be full of life joy have peace and purpose

[@Paul-sl1si]

As a man.What he is saying is bang on. I have to add one comment though.... When women flirt with me.Most of the time I just don't pick up on it. Why don't I pick up on it!? Well,I think that most women are not direct enough in such a way that most men can pick up on the flirting.

[@jfloresdrums]

Dude, you are so spot on. Women weren't taught to be direct with men.

[@MissVasques]

+jfloresdrums Sad but true. We might be told to be honest and straight-forward, yet also reminded about all the times we or someone else who Was, got labelled negatively eg desperate, clingy, emotional etc...

[@SpiritLeash]

Why blame someone else? I can always tell because I have learned it. You can learn it too with practise.

[@CunoWiederhold]

"Sometimes I sit on the couch and look over at that woman sitting there and think "Go Home!" then the horrible reality hits me...she IS home!" -Al Bundy

[@justmemessy]

Ironic that the more hobbies I get / the more I learn / read / embrace my interests / push myself to grow the more unkind and unloving and unappreciative my boyfriend is. I feel like a crazy person. Not everyone appreciates growth.

[@JMF1992]

I'm leaving. It's been a week since he obviously lost his forever feelings for me, and I've hated every minute of it. There is no reason to keep hoping he'll miraculously come back if I just send him the right text, appreciate him, express feeling statements, ask him what he thinks, or whatever else all the relationship coaches advise. If he changes his mind, he can initiate a new relationship. Simple, free, and rational.

[@MAN-nh5cd]

Never get to Comfortable, you always gotta stay growing as a person.

[@kerryfoster1]

I have a female friend i dance with. She's way too young for me 27 years but the blokes she likes are all control freaks. They get attracted to her because she's independent. At first they buy her things, do all sorts of things for her but eventually start to dissaprove of her friends, family, hobbies, dancing etc and gradually shut her life down. I've seen this happen twice now. Its almost the opposite of what you are saying here!

[@locobob]

Which is why I believe you shouldn’t go over the top to get anyone. Be yourself. That will guarantee whoever is with you likes your current self.

[@Snicketbar]

My now ex-fiance started doing this. Once she got the engagement ring. She stopped doing all the things that made me attracted to her. Stopped working out, eating right, taking pride in her appearance, and just being overall unpleasant. While I was doing the exact opposite. I had gotten into better shape, was eating better, and educating myself to be a better person.

[@OGDION287]

Exactly this. And then she told me she wants a pause… i was like wtf

[@Katarina-e4x]

You didn't give complete picture. Maybe she was struggling mentally, had family issues or financial one, some kind of crisis. If you bloomed and she woke up unpleasant then she inspired you but you let her down. I hope she works out now and is more pleasant now then she was with you. She deserves better.

[@babyg7796]

Thanks for the Convo. I honestly believe this is why alot of women in my generation(Z) don’t want to ever settle down, get married or have kids. Men have done a 180 in terms of stability and instead of trying to get tips & tricks on how to get a guy to be a certain way, we should just leave him as he is & understand that they will NEVER be what you want, so don’t get yourself into anything permanent( kids or marriage).

[@KM-the1st-only]

Yes be who you are and were at the start and DO NOT CHANGE FOR ANYONE.

[@jonathanekedahl1051]

Matthew, you really pinpointed the reason my relationship ended. Thank you!

[@chongxina8288]

He doesn’t want to chase you. 💁🏼‍♂️ He wants to feel safe, secure, loved, wanted, appreciated and at home. Why do you want guys you’re already in a relationship with to chase you? You’ll never be satisfied with just one guy. You want attention not a real genuine from the heart relationship.

[@PC-vx6ko]

If you want to be "chased," you should make yourself worth the "chase." Unconditional love is a non existent fairy tale.

[@OldSchoolFilm1930]

Always keep living YOUR live and allow others to be part of it!

[@Liz-in8lu]

He blames me for everything. His attitude changes on a dime and he blames me because I acted differently that’s why he’s mad. It’s soul crushing