The Cause Of ROYAL Tell-ALL Books?

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Shauna x After reading a LOT of Royal "tell-all" books, I have detected a pattern.
In this video, I explain what that pattern is and how it leads to distrust between the staff of the Royal Household and the Royal Family!
I illustrate my point with Paul Burrell's book A Royal Duty.
#princessdiana #paulburrell #aroyalduty

[@sassyt1545]

Blurred boundaries were a common theme in Diana’s life. A more disturbing example than Paul Burrell, was her lack of boundaries with William, treating him like her confidant and her therapist, instead of her child.

[@KnutFan]

Exactly!

[@francescaderimini4422]

❤Absolutely! Blurred boundaries or a hint of narcissism. I have three children and I would never confide to my children about problems when they are that young! That’s why when Willian got older he wanted to spend more time with his father in Scotland away from the paparazzi! Allegedly

[@efstathiakositzidou2490]

Yes! That is the reason I cannot stand the Saint Diana narrative.

[@jacinthdonaldson2230]

You know you are so right....yes the blurred lines existed with Paul ...undoubtedly....but what could he do?....but William...it was veering on the abusive how she loaded on her young son! Am sure it affected his relationship with his Dad...Diana really was a case...I loved her but she really was not all here. We with children protect them from these things...we don't involve them and tell them the issues. It's heartbreaking what she did to young William.

[@mommas2470]

EXACTLY.she caused him so much trauma...the likes of which Harry cannot imagine.

[@anastesia3127]

Diana barely considered her own son's suffering, and embarrassment because of her public affairs. Haardly surprisingly that she showed little consideration for Paul Burrell having his own private family time 😌

[@francescaderimini4422]

Totally agree! After having my own children, the fact that she went public wiith her sexual affair with Hewitt without even considering Willian being at Eaton and watching it with friends and others was devastating to Willian. He had to leave Elton for a few weeks under the care of the Head Master and his wife to help him navigate the harassment! Diana’s Brother told her it was a trap. She was impulsive!

[@Elaina802]

​@@francescaderimini4422 when you think how much that would have affected William at that time, it's very sad

[@lynnnad5268]

​​@@claireangier3322But also how she froze out staff members if she thought they'd done something against her. I can imagine he would not want to risk his position & family home by speaking up.

[@ABC1701A]

@@claireangier3322 Some have also stated she could often be a nasty bully, expected staff to know what she wanted yesterday without her saying a word and if something wasn't exactly right could and did throw tantrums like a toddler would. At a guess which side you saw depended on her mood at the time.

[@efstathiakositzidou2490]

I find the lack of boundaries in Diana's behavior appalling. It doesn't surprise me, however, she was insecure, unstable....However to work without set hours I find it very wrong.The man had a family for God's sake 😢😢

[@thevintageread]

Yes, very difficult.

[@lisaa8795]

A lot of bosses act like that - you have set hours but are expected to get the job done. OT is exPECTed.

[@abbatrouble]

This reinforces my belief that Diana had no royal qualities and was never up to the job.

[@TardyGater73]

Yes, many years ago I was left bewildered by 'blurred boundaries.' I was in the army. Where I worked there was a Lt Col who, to say the least, did not approve of women in uniform, even if they were only office staff. He was scathing, overly autoritarian and often downright unpleasant to me. Then he wanted a babysitter and guess who was ordered to do it? He was then a totally different man. Collected me from the block, held open the door of his Sunbeam Alpine and was charming and chatty. I however, knew full well that on Monday morning, if I put a foot wrong I'd be bellowed out as if I were on a parade square. It made things very difficult for me. I didn't reciproacate and answered more 'Yes, sir, no sir, three bags full sir.' I wish he had stuck to his bellicose persona rather than muddied the waters. To add insult to injury, he never once paid me. He just viewed my time at his house as an extra duty while I was left with no social life. Having heard your view of PB, I have to say that I'd never considered this before and will view the man more kindly in future.

[@thevintageread]

That sounds horrific and confusing. What mind games. I feel for you!

[@DutchJoan]

This speaks to me of entitlement and lack of consideration. Diana knew that he had a family. It's a side of royalty (and lower nobility) that I really dislike. I sure hope that the Prince and Princess of Wales manage to keep doing it differently. I'll respect them even more for it.

[@thevintageread]

Yes I agree a degree of professionalism might be a good thing for the staff!

[@judywright4241]

I think the Middleton’s strong family unit have been fantastic for William. I’ve read several ‘Royal’ books and what stands out the most is how insular they all are from any sense of what is ‘normal’ for most people. Yet stories of Diana as a child haunting the kitchens to hang out around staff, at Kensington, she was spoken to about stopping that. She was so hungry for company that it warped her perspective. Listening to some of those Peter Settlen tapes, why didn’t she have them destroyed? They should never have seen the light of day. It’s a great example of knowing you’re going to die, and an accident. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis spent the last time of her life, re-reading letters and then putting all correspondence in the fireplace. Diana had spoken of her regrets about the Bashir and Morton book, yet kept those tapes.🤷‍♀️

[@dianad1968]

@@maryk3458I heard she was the one who gave herself the title Queen of Hearts. If that is true, it shows the depth of her pretentiousness.

[@rachmunshine9474]

@@dianad1968 when I asked if she thought she would be queen ever she said no and then interview. she said “I’d like to be seen as the queen of peoples hearts.” it was very well meant.

[@thevintageread]

Yes! Unless (I just thought of this) she thought they HAD been destroyed?

[@dv7361]

I’m not surprised to hear this at all. On one hand, Diana was desperate for love and companionship (because of her broken marriage and also the family she came from) on the other hand, I think, she was highly emotional and hence would make decisions based on her feelings and not necessarily on the basis of a strong mind. We’ve seen how many married lovers she went on to have. I’m not criticizing her, just pointing out that she wasn’t exactly someone who knew how to control herself.

[@thevintageread]

Yes very lonely and vulnerable I think!

[@Anna_Key]

Borderline Personality Disorder will do that, ie highly emotional, zero boundaries, go all in with whoever is the current love interest. Generally speaking.

[@gremlin5622]

Is it against the rules to criticize Diana? It seems she could be a very self-centered and manipulative woman. Diana had love and companionship but she wanted more. Having negative qualities doesn't negate the positive effect she had on a number of important causes.

[@gremlin5622]

She did. She had a core of aristocratic friend support. But (I've read) she was "unpredictable" and could hold and act on grudges in mean-girl style.@@maryk3458

[@MarciaLiske]

@@maryk3458 She very well might have, but after a while, hearing the SOS every time you visit with somebody like that? It gets old.

[@mommas2470]

Nevermind hiw Diana would unburden her soul on poor, very young Prince William...who tried as a child to help his mother "cope" with her assorted breakdowns and broken hearts after failed love affairs.

[@mary-annebarnett654]

Mr Burrell is very well known here in the UK. He has inflated his own self-importance to ridiculous proportions. Princess Diana cannot answer back and Prince William never will. Meanwhile Mr Burrell continues to grift.

[@virgiernelson4492]

"...inconsiderate approach..." exactly identifies Diana's entire life management. So appreciate your perspectives Shauna!

[@ladytamaya4737]

I agree that Paul Burrell was asked to stay past his working hours and watch a movie with Diana, Princess of Wales. He was her "rock" and understood quite well what she was going through and that all she wanted was someone to talk to.. She did not hesitate when her marriage was going south, to seek the companionship (intimate or not) of a number of other men. Not being mean, just stating the facts. Btw, I find it sad that her generosity in leaving many belongings behind (clothes, furniture, art, trinkets) after her divorce, was erroneously interpreted by many as "Paul Burrell was stealing to make money"

[@thevintageread]

Yes I think he had a lot of empathy for her and felt her loneliness.

[@amandadassonville4043]

I hVe not changed my op3 of Diana. She was selfish to the bone. She did what benefitted her and to hell with the rest. She abused Paul Burrell and his family, but he was to lovestruck and did everything and suffered everything just to please her., 🐝

[@timhazeltine3256]

Using your employee as a hanky is less than professional and borderline harassment.

[@dianad1968]

I was a HUGE Diana fan, and was devastated when she died. However, over the years I have heard so many stories of her inconsideration, her jealousy of other women who she believed were getting more attention than her at any given time, like Fergie, her selfishness and her manipulative character, and that has somehow made me realize she was not the saint we wanted her to be, so that we could look at Charles as the villain in the story. I have a feeling if she had lived, she would have lost a lot of her popularity.

[@CaliKiwi-]

Same!! I did the same..

[@abbatrouble]

I will never forgive her for her many lies about Charles and Camilla!

[@lisaa8795]

I never thought she was a saint, but I really did like her. A lot has come out over the years to open my eyes wider. It's possible she would have lost a lot of her popularity, it's also possible she would have changed a bit and grew up, just as many of us do.

[@janmargaret7972]

I’ve seen a few interviews with Paul. I have always thought he was a decent, honest, kind and unselfish man. He was very loyal to Diana. It was very selfish of Diana to keep him longer when she knew he had a family. I think he has been treated very badly by the press and the royal family.

[@user-qz2gq7sz1n]

Diana was blurring boundaries left, right and centre. Harry has the same tool kit.

[@kravenscroft4133]

As usual you are spot on Shauna. You are a welcome desert island of common sense and great analysis in a shark filled ocean of knee jerk tribalist and conspiracy theorists ❤

[@jacinthdonaldson2230]

So brilliantly said ! Thanks!!

[@thevintageread]

I try! 😂

[@alp6244]

I believe Princess Diana relied heavily on Paul for advice and support regarding many of Diana’s personal concerns, etc., and I agree with you that it was members of the RF that “blurred the boundaries”. Lastly, Paul was first and foremost a servant, and it’s not unusual for servants to be coldly dismissed when no longer needed or useful. IMO, the loyalty usually comes from the servants, not the other way around. I’m very much enjoying your intriguing book reviews, Shauna. Did anyone ever tell you, you have a very pleasant sounding and melodic voice? Keep the reviews coming!

[@chimerat8012]

As the late ERII pointed out, the Royal Family have employees not servants.

[@alp6244]

@@chimerat8012 That was a smart answer from the late Queen, but the fact of the matter is, they are employed to “serve” members of the monarchy, and as PB himself said, he had to be available 24/7!

[@ABC1701A]

@@alp6244 But as a receptionist I was hired to ''serve'' the bosses of the company, there isn't much difference. And when I worked in the bank ''serving'' the shareholders (and believe me, that is what we did) we were expected to be available 24/7 and it wasn't unknown to receive a phone call at midnight and be called into work because there had been a computer glitch and we had to redo an entire days work, before 9am the next morning when we did the next days work. There is little to no difference other than in the name/title of the person/people you serve.

[@yanagiamov6619]

I agree. Diana was a person full of merrygo-round emotions all over the place like a mad womans s……t. Very needy so she had to get everyone on her side using every womanly trick to either garner sympathy or friendship and desperately wanted people to love her.

[@avissmith8384]

How difficult for Paul and his family.

[@thevintageread]

Yes very hard to juggle!

[@itsmesam1967]

Diana was always 'too familiar' with 'the staff' in the eyes of the royal family and indeed even in the opinion of some of the staff. In the 80's it was very much 'us' and 'them' in those days. I think Diana was just too friendly and later, after the separation I think her friendliness became a loneliness. However, as much as I loved Diana, I also believe much of her 'familiarity' with staff was most likely to do with 'getting the dirt'. She was probably aware that staff talk under stairs and thus knew that by being kind and friendly to her staff meant she might just get some tid bits on Charles and Camilla. Its no secret they both tried to take down the other. Diana had the advantage, whereas Charles was very much a 'them and us' person, Diana was not.

[@thevintageread]

Yes I can see that…

[@havestrength5802]

that's the problem with treating people as though they are more important than others. after a while they really start to believe it.

[@thevintageread]

Very true!

[@jackiegould1569]

From what we hear about Diana and her men She may well have kept Burrell away from his family hoping to get even more intimate! Now Im not sure whether this would be classed as a blurred boundary for myself but on one occasion I was caught between a rock and a hard place! I worked in a small business and although a member of staff, the owner and his wife were friends to all. We had live in positions and they looked after us young girls. Unfortunately my best friend came to work there too and She and the boss started having a relationship. I was horrified when I was told and asked to keep it from the wife. I didnt like the fact she had told me but she said she had to tell someone! Luckily it didnt go on for too long, the wife found out and my friend was duly sent home. Also luckily, when the lady boss asked why I hadnt said anything (I had to confess I knew as I felt awful) she did understand that I was damned if I did and damned if i didnt. I was only 19 at the time and not very worldly. Both bosses continued to treat me kindly and I worked there for some time after that but it was a horrid position to be in.

[@rachelturgeon114]

Diana “overshared”on a global scale and this was exploited by Martin Bashir, ultimately leading to the loss of EVERYTHING for her. Before Diana, the RF kept a dignified silence and a moat of MYSTERY around their private lives. Diana, in my opinion is the flashpoint for all the narcissism, manipulation and victimhood being attempted by H&M. Poor Harry isn’t cunning enough to play at the same level as his mother. Harry is diligently destroying his mothers memory by reminding us daily of how Diana played the media. Diana was a victim. That was her choice and her downfall. I love your channel.

[@abbatrouble]

Prince Charles was the victim while Diana was a manipulator and a liar!

[@lisaa8795]

Honestly, what is the diff between writing Spare like PH and like Diana, doing the Bashir interview AND recording your thoughts for Morton's book? Both of them were oversharing to the Nth degree. I really liked Diana but was horrified after that interview.

[@justsayin8893]

I agree with you, however at the same time i feel for the princess having few safe options with relationships 😔.

[@thevintageread]

Yes always another side 💗

[@SpectrumMom]

I’m so glad you presented this! I’ve always felt this way about Paul Burrell. No one is perfect but he has always struck me as a decent man who did his best to do right by Diana’s family.

[@jacinthdonaldson2230]

Wisdom here. So true....thank you sooooo much!...I do not have an issue with Paul...I have never had. He was beyond devoted to Diana. Good man who was pilloried left, right and centre. He was one devoted butler who loved the Boss in spades and could never ever say no to her even at the expense of his own family. Throughout her life and even in death he was serving her in the best way he knew how. We owe him a debt of gratitude just for being there with her when she was lonely and needed a sounding board or someone to watch a movie.... I hope William and Harry understand that people like Paul are very, very few. Bless him!

[@kathyevans2968]

Love this one! Thanks for highlighting all the family and staff related boo boos and blurred boundaries Shauna!!

[@thevintageread]

You are so welcome!

[@mario-qi3yw]

Thank you Shauna for reviewing Paul’s book. Your so compassionate in your assessment it’s truly lovely. 😊

[@thevintageread]

You are so welcome!

[@Loobylooto2]

Never ever would I have thought I would feel sorry for Paul Burrell for goodness sake Somehow I do and I now need to buy the book again-realising I read the book but did I really Read it😅😅😅😅

[@thevintageread]

😂 I was the same!

[@jillackerman6047]

Great presentation! The guy can't win for losing. Diana was so desperate for someone who would love her, and I actually think she knew Paul did. Unfortunately, she confused their roles and they both suffered for it.

[@CaliKiwi-]

Anyone who’s worked in service or onboard mega yachts knows it’s a tightrope between appropriate and inappropriate situations.. I’ve had my “boss” yelling at me for worrying his wife by leaving “my earrings” in his tennis bag.. they were his mistresses earrings, and everyone knew it!!

[@dianaroach3093]

Sorry I'm not keeping anyone's secrets. I don't care how much a job pays. That's the problem with people. Their moral compass is off

[@thevintageread]

That says a lot about him, what a creep! Hard situation for you…I hope you managed to find a better job than working for such a weak bully! 💕

[@pamelav4628]

Yes, I agree. Diana is so self-absorbed she blurs the boundaries and people get hurt.

[@graphiquejack]

I agree 100%… well maybe 95% but I do agree that Diana was probably both lonely and wanted companionship from people who really had little choice to comply, and she probably wanted to get intel on Charles and other RF members for her book or her divorce. My 5% reservation is that Paul Burrell may not have been that keen to get back to his family. I don’t know what his relationship with his children is like, but he eventually divorced his wife and married a man soon after. I’m not sure if he identifies as bisexual or gay, but perhaps at this point in his marriage, he had already discovered his attraction to men and was finding it difficult being near his wife. Perhaps, even subconsciously, he was accepting Diana’s invitations to chat and watch movies because he was avoiding dealing with his sexuality and how it might be affecting his marriage, and he could just relax and gossip and socialize with Diana as a convenient excuse.

[@bluerose_11]

Wow, whole 'nuther dimension to this man 🙄

[@user-ny3on8vh1v]

He was in love with being in proximity of the then worlds most photographed woman and deep down he was gay! Any wonder he willingly stayed/worked all kinds of hours overtime and turned a blind eye to his family's needs.

[@user-ny3on8vh1v]

Till now, he cannot stop talking about his association with anything Royal.

[@dianeshelton9592]

Exactly and it often is the royal pushing for more from the friend or employee. I think we that’s why very few of Harry’s friends are still friends now. As a group of boys they all grew up as equals in school and as young adults , got into the same scrapes etc, even Harry’s “ older woman “ ( never forget she is younger than Meghan). Then when he dumped them for Meghan it left such a feeling of personal betrayal which I doubt very much that Harry understands. And he dumped them hard choosing her over them in all situations. It’s always the same when boys meet women and fall in love with them , then the group breaks up but often it is just another stage in their friends ship but Harry dumped on his friends as if they were entirely expendable and I think they did /do feel betrayed by him as they have done nothing wrong and are still friends amongst themselves but Harry has left and left behind a bitter taste. I think Royalty is a lonely place to be and it is natural though dangerous to reach out for a friend. I suspect Harry like his mum reached out and blurred the boundaries too much with his friends. Interestingly Williams friends are still his friends and also Catherine’s , freinds with Catherine and Catherine was and is part of Williams friendship group.

[@user-tt3jb2do8m]

Maybe his blurred boundaries also stemmed from his own inner turmoil. He is now openly gay, in a long standing relationship, share a home. Who knows what he was going through, that didn't take him home to his family. Plus we don't know what in turn, he confided in Diana, about his life. Maybe there's somethings he didn't want to disclose in the books. Diana might have been doing him a favour, on the pretence of working. Only they know.

[@ladymonacoofthebluepacific2571]

I agree, I've always thought this about Paul Burrell. I wasn't surprised at all when he came out I remember thinking "it's about time".

[@kate2create738]

Thank you for covering this book, I’ve tried to remain neutral to Paul Burrell, I can see both sides that he went beyond being an employee to someone who share intimacy knowledge about his employer. Seeing how the issue was likely Diana who blurred those lines, she was tragically a lonely woman who might have had the world’s love, but she wanted someone to share her trust and have some intimate moments with. Naturally as her butler, Paul would see her on a daily basis, so he was likely the closest person she could find to at least interact with someone who she felt cared about her. In many ways, I see Paul as the closest person who can speak on Diana’s behalf, nearly all of those who were close to Diana are in some ways not able to have the capacity to speak on her behalf. Charles is currently king, plus if he opened up anything about Diana that is opening a Pandora’s box that should not be disturbed. William likely cannot give those details both as a future king and the respect he has for her memory. Harry certainly blurred the lines of confusing his attention seeking grifting hustler wife for Diana, yet admitted he doesn’t have memories of her. Charles Spencer and the sisters might have been close to Diana, but she likely revealed a portion of her thoughts to them as she was a royal as she saw them on occasion but not daily. Many of the former aides were cycled through specifically as Diana was going through paranoia of the idea that they could be spying on her for Charles. So really, Paul was the closest confidant maybe next to William that Diana had and it eventually turned to loyalty that could have been seen as obsession. Now Paul has made his mistakes, such as thinking that Diana would have liked Markle in the first place, yet seeing the environment he was a part of, very few involved are going to actually be seen as virtuous. I have a hard time when certain people judge him harshly when he was likely following orders, but I think it says a lot that the late Queen felt it was necessary to step in to stop Burrell from facing accusations of theft and to end it herself.

[@maryjohnson9474]

She had no one else to talk to or confide in to trust no true friends she probably felt isolated and lonely

[@DutchJoan]

That may very well be, but she knew Paul had his own family to take care of. And palace staff wasn't exactly paid market value. I don't think he got good compensation for overtime. I feel she was inconsiderate and entitled.

[@thevintageread]

Definitely! I have a lot of sympathy but wanted to touch on a different angle? 😊

[@cmcc3972]

Diana had very good friends. Loyal and trustworthy. Unfortunately she cancelled them when they acted like friends rather than sycophants. It was very sad. She was doing the same to Paul in the last 6 months of her life. @@thevintageread

[@heatherhensley9183]

Blurred boundaries do indeed cause so much harm 😢 The person in power is responsible to set them

[@wendieking4184]

I’m especially looking forward to this one. No opinion on Princess Diana but his ‘Revenge dress’ story left me thinking someone needed to remove this man’s influence on a woman who was just finding her feet.

[@thevintageread]

I think you’ll find this really interesting 😉😊

[@JFra127]

When you are feeling unsteady sometimes you need a confidence boost to help you through. I believe he was all that for her and the black dress story represents that to me.

[@scotcrazy]

Every time I hear Paul bring accused, I feel so angry for him. I adore Diana, always will, but...she was absolutely over familiar with him. The games of Diana's vs Prince Charles camps were nuts!!! I'm really happy for him that people like you are standing up for him. He is villafied by most channels on YT. Sad😢

[@thevintageread]

Yes I used to judge myself, until I started to realise what I shared in this video.

[@lisaa8795]

@@thevintageread He comes across as likable and he didn't seem to have much choice if he wanted to keep his job, but I still judge him for the way he behaves now - one book would've been enough. He oversells his role as her confidant and seems to have crossed over into exploitation with his frequent interviews. If he would stick to facts it would be fine, but he's quick to tell us what she or the boys would think or feel.

[@maryh4650]

Blurred boundaries are fine if your in charge, but for the employee, they are a nightmare.

[@gibbersking6575]

I agree that the person in the superior position likely determines whether or not boundaries get blurred. An underling may attempt it, may make the first move, but I imagine it's always the person in the superior position that determines "yea" or "nay." As long as there have been monarchs in the world, there have likely been many relationships that went beyond the job description: Paul Burrell, Angela Kelly, John Brown! As for the Prince and Princess of Wales dipping a toe into running their branch with more of a company structure regarding staffing, job descriptions, tasks and boundaries, there are likely pros and cons. Specifically, is there less of a chance of the blurring of lines between personal/private and working staff? I'm sure there are thousands of examples of inappropriate lines crossed the world over. But it's a step that they may have decided to take since the "bullying" report for EVERYONE'S protection and improved lives. (I hope!) As we Americans have learned on "Downton Abbey," servants ("staff", per the late queen's insistence) are with their employers and working for their employers from BEFORE they awake (drawing curtains in bedrooms, lighting fires...) to well after the employers go to bed.

[@barbraluce5706]

You made things clear that I had not thought about Diana overstepping the boundaries between royalty and staff. But I honestly think Burrell had a big crush on Diana.

[@philipmilner9638]

Isn't that what Meghan was like texting and ringing her staff at five o'clock in the morning. Both unthinking for the needs of others...

[@Loobylooto2]

Excellent post again Shauna👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🥰

[@thevintageread]

Thank you!!

[@rw4754]

Princess Diana had Borderline Personality Disorder - she is mentioned as an example is some Psychology books.

[@ChloeLouiseTheRonnieRepublic]

Agree and I thought the story of Billy and The Queen Mother was even more sad. At the end of the day, Diana is very confusing. One of the most revealing vids about Diana is Darren McGrady, her cook, honoring her birthday and commenting that not only was she lonely but she was also very royal. One can see the emotion she stirred in people because by the end of the video he is almost crying.

[@ilmaba1756]

Shows Diana was not such a saint as many think or remember.

[@wendieking4184]

I’m a year younger than she would be. Her home life in her youth was chaotic. She’s been dead for a quarter of a century so, can we not talk about a women who died before she ever found her feet. It’s judgemental and she can’t speak to it.

[@Elaina802]

@@wendieking4184 Of course we can talk about her she has gone down in history, she will be spoken about for years and years to come as the historical figure she is

[@user-tt3jb2do8m]

I hate the way Paul gets demonised, we don't know him, or any Royals. But these people who work in such close quarters, see, hear things, that nobody else does. They probably see more of the people they work with, than their own family members. Now it he worked directly with the Queen, and Diana in her own words, publicly referred to him as her Rock. So who are we to judge him, at least he knows, what he's talking about, from first hand experience. Harry can write books, do interviews, Netflix shows, etc, but Paul can't. I've never heard him say anything negative, apart from about Harry and Meghan, then he's stating facts of their disapproving behaviour. And Diana never did an interview, or had a hand in a book, did she.

[@thevintageread]

Yes I don’t judge him, I think he did his very best for Diana.

[@ringwe]

Downton Abbey's Mr Carson would approve Paul Burrell's skills.

[@madeyed2702]

No way, Mr. Carlson would totally disapproved of Paul’s over familiarity with the Boss 😂

[@MsJoybird1]

Diana really had mental problems! Diana also had liver after over! Charles has been blamed for things he was not guilty of!

[@Donna-ct2gn]

Are you on drugs? Your second sentence makes no sense.

[@suzatlarge]

I agree that Diana blurred those boundaries. At that time, wasn't she also blurring boundaries with her older son? I have read that she was sharing confidences with William about her love life and other things that seemed inappropriate given his age. She wasn't maliciously intentioned, but she was very needy emotionally. I've always thought how horrible it was that she died when she did. I like to think she would have settled down a bit and gotten her feet under her, so to speak, emotionally, as time went by. She had just emerged from her divorce. The brutal Wars of the Walses were over, but I think she needed time to heal, and sadly she didn't have that time here on Earth.

[@kirstenanderson1435]

Well said. For all of Diana's fine qualities as time has gone on it is clear she was deeply flawed. However, I like to think she was a person who recognized she had issues and was working hard on becoming a better more balanced person. In fairness, she was 36 when she died and probably would have become a much stronger person emotionally over time. She seemed like someone that had great empathy and personal insight, but she also was weak and let her often erratic emotions control her decisions. I am sure she took advantage of some people in her neediness at times, but she was fundamentally a kind person.

[@ABC1701A]

Allegedly - according to an interview with the sister - the reason her relationship with the surgeon in London broke up was because his mother told him that she could never be a proper wife. She would expect him to drop everything when she needed him and if she wanted to go out then he would be expected to accompany he regardless of the work he was doing and the lives he was saving. Allegedly the mother didn't blame Diana, it was the way she was, but it did render her unsuitable as a wife for anyone who didn't have enough money not to need to work and with enough time to spend the majority of it on her and her alone (she was even jealous of the kids nanny for pities sake) totally ignoring anyone and anything else. There are people like that, it's just how they're made, and they are often portrayed - especially in books - as neurotic and clingy.

[@optimisticgal]

If Paul heard things that any family member disclosed to him, how can he 'overstep the mark'? I won't judge him, it's all easy in hindsight. If the employer moves the boundaries I can't see it's easy for an employee. He may have been happy to support, he may have hoped things would settle down. What's he to do? Jack his job in??

[@thevintageread]

I agree! I don’t think that, I was just presenting a common criticism I had heard. Very hard situation. 😊

[@bearessentials4383]

This is common in a lot of workplaces, for example Junior Officers are expected to entertain Senior Officers. It’s called enforced fun.

[@thevintageread]

Indeed and outside work hours!

[@lindahunter6027]

That's just what I thought! Diana probably had a way of making one think that you were her friend and confidant. I'm pro Paul Burrell

[@thevocalcrone]

i think that 'modernising/ the household in the way that William is doing is a big mistake. it corporatizes and turns the RF into a financial or commercial enterprise which doesn't bode well for the long term. the problems with the 'tell all's are a recent phenomena and post Diana (which make sense). They would be better off sticking to the tradition (and the modern adaptation -signing them to NDAs) and making sure they have enough staff, not crossing the line with their staff AND payin their staff decent wages and good working conditions because apparently they pay Cr*P for the privilege of working at the RF. Bottom line - pay a decent wage, retain your staff and treat them well and they will be loyal. that doesn't mean buddying up to your staff either. and Yes poor poor Paul. He is a kind man, but I know she has her fans, but she would have been a nightmare to live/work with.

[@thevintageread]

Interesting take on the modernising! I didn’t think of that downside!

[@Cooksongrl]

But it basically is a corporation. That's why they call it the Firm. However the family can do a lot by paying attention like she said to those boundaries. William and Catherine do not need 24/7 help cause they are willing to do a lot more themselves. which will cut down on that. I also thing they're smart enough to watch what they say in front of staff.

[@sailingwhitsundays5672]

I think it also suited Paul for those boundaries to be blurred. He WAS the inner circle, that’s access to book content Gold. It also sounds like he was more a friend trying to stay professional than professional butler. Exhausting routine !

[@thevintageread]

Really exhausting!

[@quickbeam71]

Not particularly a fan of Mr. Burrell but what you’re saying makes perfect sense. Diana had more baggage than a fully loaded 737 Jumbo jet when she married Charles. The BRF didn’t do a good job vetting her at all. It sounds like Mr. Burrell paid dearly for allowing her to violate what should have been HIS boundaries.

[@mgpm17]

I agree with you. Diana had difficulties with boundaries and that often results in dysfunction. I don't judge her very harshly because the situations she found herself in were very stressful and I'm sure, incredibly lonely. I have a childhood trauma and I often tend to overshare because I want people to know me and love me. I am working on good boundaries now in therapy. If only Diana had real help. I'm not sure she did. Paul Burrell, to me, was a loyal friend. He should have just been a loyal butler, but he was more than that and he loved the role as well as loved Diana.

[@Mina-mt6kt]

Blurred boundaries occur with any type of political position...I observed it in the work force. Those employees who "lick boots" or "brown nose" etc.(buy gifts, give complements, go to the bar/out to eat with them, sexual favors, etc) with the person in power (supervisor, boss, etc) are the ones who will be given a promotion, increase in pay. Also, who you know and associate with is far more important than education and experience. I was amazed to watch it happen all the time and of coarse if I was a participant...I was elevated and if I didn't, well I was stagnate in my position.

[@thevintageread]

Slowly changing thank goodness!

[@edronc2007]

When I saw (resp. heard) the words "blurred boundaries" I knew at once that it was about Diana, not Paul Burrell, because that was just the thing she would do.

[@katiehill619]

Very interesting - and I totally agree. We also saw that blurring with the Queen and Angela Kelly. Very typical of the elderly, as they become frail and find they need to rely on supportive carers and can easily step over the boundaries, give gifts, overshare etc. Angela did a wonderful job in looking after the Queen, but clearly sees herself as the Queen's closest friend, not just staff. In Diana's case - I think she did this habitually - part of her deep, deep need for admiration and attention.

[@ABC1701A]

And now it turns out that perhaps she wasn't as close to the late Queen as she herself thought and that there was a staff member who was closer, who spent more time with the Queen (allegedly he is single so it probably wasn't an issue) but who has managed to retain an entirely business like relationship. Continuing after death as he is still working for her/the King but still as an employee and nothing more.

[@christinewyatt4794]

I like Paul Burrel.

[@thevintageread]

So do I

[@rebeccaarnold-sauer6278]

Blurred boundaries is what the Queen didn’t like and knew it took advantage of the people helping them.

[@celinefoff1863]

Yes I did and still do. I find it difficult to play “boss” and got into a lot of trouble. Perhaps I am just a “worker” through and through and unsuitable as a “boss”.

[@heathergrainger4718]

I agree with you re the long hours that Paul was having to work . Must have been very hard on his wife and children .

[@ladytamaya4737]

I have always trusted Paul Burrell (interviews and articles) and am particularly interested in your findings based on his book. Notification bell is on ! ☺

[@thevintageread]

I think you’ll like this one 😉

[@maryl8753]

Exploitation of someone in an unequal position who took the job to serve the Royal Family and who would have then, as now , been paid a lot less than the private rate. . Selfishness. Complete disregard of PB' s welfare and family unit. Diana probably interpreted it as he was completely willing to do these things, not understanding/ caring he had no power to oppose her demands Time and revealed history has not been kind to Diana.

[@sandrachappell6845]

Hi Shauna now it’s making a lot of sense is to why Harry is like he is

[@Donna_Relaxing]

Yes, it may have started that way - but it got really casual close really fast

[@margaretharper4522]

Just found you a few weeks ago now trying to go through everything you have put up just love how you tell these stories will get through everything.🐾👍🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇬🇧

[@madlulu136]

I like Paul Burrell, who always seemed to me an honest and fair person. I don't believe the various attacks towards him. The only doubt I've always had is how come he wasn't in that car that night of 31 August 1997? Weird isn't is ? Didn't he follow Diana everywhere? I think Princess Diana's 'rock' Paul Burrell still has many 'unanswered questions'....Thank you Shauna😘 Wonderful analysis as always😘

[@sarahhayse-gregson689]

He was her butler not her bodyguard. It was the summer holidays and even he would have been given time off while she went cavorting with Dodi on the yacht.

[@suzannebrown945]

I like your assessment Shauna, thank you…

[@thevintageread]

You’re welcome 😊

[@margiekraftkindt4208]

You are right--Diana set the boundaries and Paul Burrell had to conform to them or he would have been out of a job. And she met her needs, with seemingly little regard for his personal life--I guess the trade off is that there is usually a good chance, down the road, for the butler to write a book for a big pay day which made all the sacrifices worth it.

[@ellenoconnor601]

Interesting take on their relationship. Great book review as usual

[@thevintageread]

Thanks! 💗

[@idgriffin56]

Can’t wait 😊

[@loopywren]

Paul is the one who should have said no. His contract would have said his work hours. Diana used to tell poor William details which a son shouldnt know. I suspect this is why he started to spend more time with his father and extended family. All the royal family knew what Diana was like. She could be lovely but she knew how to get attention. She wanted her own way. She knew how the royal family worked, she was brought up on the Sandringham estate for the most part.m

[@LindaWagner-fi2py]

Yippee I have been waiting. Yippee

[@gabbyb4493]

It is unbelievable how narcissistic Diana was! The fact that she knew Paul’s family was there for the weekend, she made him choose to spend time with her, over them. She had to be at all times be the focus of attention.

[@nadinewilliams6465]

Yes my experience with blurred lines was very recent. A dear friends "new boyfriend". Not speaking to either atm. That's fine. I had realized there were smoke signs. As the saying goes where there is smoke there is fire. Linger to long and get burned. 😂 Very interesting take Shauna. Agreed Paul always seemed "to wear his heart on his sleeve" ( old Hungarian saying). Still trying to crack Lady C. book Daughter of Narcissus. Reading Spare is like dragging my nails on the chaulkboard. Ugh So thank you for delving into them so we may choose whether or not to. ❤from Buffalo, NY

[@Loobylooto2]

I have go back and reread a lot of the books you review- it’s costing a small fortune but so worth it- I lent so many titles out that you discuss and never got most of them back Ask to borrow a book now?ppfffttt no chance You give me a whole different perspective that makes my rereads all the better and I’m finding I’m enjoying them better second time around

[@lots2learn373]

Perhaps your library has the books?

[@thevintageread]

That’s fantastic! 🤗

[@Loobylooto2]

@@lots2learn373 Hiya🥰... great suggestion ,however multiple disabilities and where my local city library is makes it almost impossible to do since they moved building I’m a member online but nothing that Shauna has reviewed are there - pants really ! I used the library a lot at one time - I’m going to call into the next town over and see if their library has a disabled car part Thanks🙏

[@thevintageread]

I meant fantastic wanting to read the books, not fantastic how hard it is for you xxx

[@loribalona-fh4uu]

Brilliant. Loved it. Thank you.

[@thevintageread]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@ladymary22]

I admire your analytical mind to the past to shed light on the present. I think Diana had a fragile and very lonely self. I am not sure if it was romance, but a need for nurture I think Burrows was in love with her Not romantic, but the need to protect and care for her As an aside Prince William will be the best King He realizes that there is a personal self and Regal self. That I think he learned from QEII

[@thevintageread]

I wasn’t implying a romance! No! Not at all 😊

[@ladymary22]

❤️

[@pollyparrot9447]

My reservation about all of this is that we only ever get Paul Burrell's side of the story, which inevitably shows him in a heroic and saintly light. Even his ex wife's situation only ever seems to be explained by him. I wonder if there are any independent sources, such as letters from Diana or accounts by others confirming that he was indeed her 'rock', rather than a toady of a servant looking for opportunities to profit from his employment.

[@thevintageread]

There are letters (photos) in his book that confirm a lot of what he says. However I take your point and it is a valid one!

[@chocobunny925]

You are so right @Shauna Even I like Princess Diana I don't think she always did the right back then.

[@dawnjohnson5937]

Great analysis 👏👏👏👏!

[@thevintageread]

Thanks!

[@jeanhowell9353]

Diana had reason for complaints but seriously she’s was irresponsible. A lot was wrong with the way she handled the situation. But then she was very young

[@voices_vary]

Agree! Charles' generation was knee-deep in Valentine Low's described courtiers, and I think Diana went a tad far for reasons that carried a slight stench of self-absorption. She did attract people into her tangled, emotional web. Where I think Paul Burrell needs to stand down on the family's issues now, I believe he was acting as a loyal associate, friend, servant....whatever...at that time.

[@thevintageread]

Yes he needs to let go and move on…

[@fay5479]

I live in Spain and it used to be quite normal to have a job interview over lunch or dinner...this becomes a mine field and tough to make short. And another story. I had an off shore account for a rainy day, like a squirrel. The banks used to send the agents to visit their clients but couldn't meet up on public soil. So I'd have to go and have a meeting in a hotel, quite often in the room. The Hilton rooms have office type desks, etc...but as a female, it felt VERY odd. Talking about money with a bed next to the desk. Very icky.

[@acommentator4452]

most large hotels have meeting rooms, or there are office spaces, with receptionists, that can be hired by the hour; many other options than bedrooms ...

[@fay5479]

@@acommentator4452 most meetings are with men, that's my conclusion....it's not even considered weird....

[@fay5479]

@@acommentator4452 this post is about BLURRED BOUNDARIES....duh....I didn't have the courage to be outraged by obvious lack of respect

[@fay5479]

@@acommentator4452 this is a mere example of how men don't even consider women...

[@MorrisGL_Au]

Legitimate Authority. 'A legitimate authority is one which is entitled to have its decisions and rules accepted and followed by others.'. 'Charismatic authority is relatively unstable because the authority held by a charismatic leader may not easily extend to anyone else after the leader dies.' Eg. the late Princess of Wales Diana Stet 'Leader' with Hierarchy, status.

[@inspiredsassy2330]

Diana was self absorbed and manipulative and Paul was the breadwinner for his family. She had total control and everything the way she wanted, he was living a noteworthy employer that he may have been sympathetic towards but would also make him money, til today and beyond.

[@phoenixfirebird5893]

I agree, but also, Diana would unexpectedly turn on him and chastise him and freeze him and become very regal for no reason at all.

[@renekirebornrenekireborn4777]

I'm a bit late to the party here but you never disappoint. Thank you for sharing.

[@thevintageread]

Thanks for watching!

[@jeanross7430]

It is all very unfortunate and don't forget Diana over shared with the boys too.

[@charlenebowden4511]

Yes, it's a tricky one. Unfortunately there seems a thread that runs thru these relationships. Backstairs Billy & the Queen Mother, Paul & Diana I mean the list will continue as long as this power displacement with aids, I think is tolerated. Perhaps Prince William has learnt this. Good for him. I hope his insights into relationships will strengthen his transition into Kingship when it happens. Thanks for this. 😊

[@thevintageread]

I think he has with Catherine’s help. She had more experience in real life and I think it has stood him in good stead.

[@jmfs8738]

You are spot on! People like the casual approach to professional relationships, but then, often forget roles that define expectations and behavior. The inevitability of unhealthy work-place environs is too common and avoidable. An employer or boss can be both casual and know their boundaries for all involved. It takes attention to detail, as in other places on the job.

[@thevintageread]

Yes it’s a fine balance but the only way to have a healthy work relationship.

[@sophiedereans]

I am delighted that you actually read how devoted Paul was & yes, he let her use & abuse his time, his kindness & love for her. Accusing him afterwards of being a thief shows - and reminds us all - how badly the royal family treats the little people...

[@Anna_Key]

What does the Royal family have to do with this? It was the Spencer's who accused Paul of stealing, not the Royals.

[@thevintageread]

It can come across that way… not sure the older generation realised! Different times!

[@annatjienilsen539]

If I remember corectly. The queen and Burrell had an understanding.

[@Anna_Key]

@@annatjienilsen539 after the Spencer's accused him of stealing, The Queen stepped in. I don't know what her advisers were doing though, because the proceedings should have been stopped much earlier.

[@TraceyBurton-gs6jm]

Here’s my question. At Christmas time, there’d always be a story about how Diana would leave her sons with their father’s family for Christmas dinner after the Sandringham church service. Invariably the story would conclude with poor Diana would return on her to Kensington Palace and eat her meal on a tv tray. So, with two sisters, and a brother and cousins, none of them invited her to Christmas diner with their families or they couldn’t journey to join her for a full on Christmas dinner at Kensington Palace? A very odd situation.

[@thevintageread]

Odd but understandable if there is no real closeness between the siblings!

[@laurabarajas-serrato5920]

I totally agree with you. I often thought that Diana had clung to him in her neediness and that indeed, SHE was the one who was responsible for the blurred lines. I'm not suggesting romance, she simply wanted a friend. She probably didn't look at it as selfishness. Then, what happens? She dies and life as he knew it was over. The "firm's" men in black come in, collect things she may have given him and take away his authority over her home and belongings... he is then summarily dismissed with a "thank you for your service", type of situation. Meanwhile, he is left standing there without her protection, stripped of the fairy tale. I felt immediately after her death, that this man, who had become Diana's self-proclaimed "rock" was left decimated because neither of them could have imagined that she would die so young and unexpectedly. She inadvertently hurt the man she cared so much about.

[@sovak75]

Having read both of is books twice, I agree the the lions share i he the blurred binderies was her fault.

[@SuzeQ1122]

Have you read the books by Patrick Jephson and Ken Wharfe? Patrick especially seems to have experienced blurred boundaries, being paged when he was on leave etc.

[@thevintageread]

I listened to Ken Wharfe on Robert Jobson’s podcast! I will get the books, thanks 🤗