The Chris Hedges Report: Dr. Gabor Maté on trauma, addiction, and illness under capitalism

Dr. Gabor Maté joins The Chris Hedges Report to discuss his new book, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture.
Dr. Gabor Maté is a physician and childhood development specialist who has written several best-selling books, including In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction; When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection; and Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder.
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[@chaddalrymple4834]

I'm a licensed psychotherapist and I will be buying these books for myself and my clients.

[@averayugen8462]

Hi Chad can you try to contact me, you know how it works here... please????

[@averayugen8462]

I want to hire you. I have an addiction called "nobody hears me" and the NH anonymous group ghosted me

[@carolgaribay]

What a treat to see two awesome minds together 🤓

[@testtest2609]

So potent on their own, to see them together is such a treat.

[@tusharsingh4543]

that emoji implies sarcasm, which i don’t think you mean, do you?

[@paulaheady8990]

I'll be listening to this interview over and over and over. It needs a really Broad audience. I'm 75 years old and I don't know a single person that couldn't benefit by listening to this interview multiple times. Thank you Chris thank you

[@sundancesuccess]

You will love all of Dr. Gabor’s work! I started with, “When the body says no.” How unresolved trauma creates illness in the body and so forth. Welcome to the fan group!

[@KilamSabba]

We need a transcript. Can you make one (or obtain one)?

[@Nphen]

I want to invite friends and family over to watch this video and have a discussion around it. I think this is one of the most important psychological interviews ever recorded.

[@obsoleteelite8258]

Chris Hedges report is one of the only channels on KZbin that I can watch and feel confident in its accuracy.

[@jageo48]

Exactly. The number of genuine investigative journalists unafraid of speaking truth to power has dwindled seriously.

[@gusmarokity6482]

Elite, you can also trust TYT programs, I recommend.

[@jageo48]

@@gusmarokity6482 Thanks, Gus. I used to do those folks. So many talking heads now are repeats of what we find out through 'due diligence' on a daily basis.

[@erigerontriteleia]

Try MultiPolarista by Ben Norton and Amit Sengupta.

[@Tetrastuctural_Intelligence]

@@gusmarokity6482 I disagree. Cenk only cares about winning and making money. The journalism is notnprinciple and grounded in truth.

[@pinktights747]

Dr. Gabor, I am buying and reading your books. These subjects have always been of interest to me. My father was an abusive alcoholic, he didn't love himself or his six children. Most of us have learned to love and respect ourselves. My mother was a rock, but was absent because she had to work to support us. Thanks for this wonderful interview.

[@gerry4281]

Well seen who Aaron’s dad is. Love this man and his message. Hungry ghosts was excellent. I’m hoping to read all his work.

[@X3R0D3D]

i was wondering if there was a relation there. i enjoy Aaron Mate's analyses almost all the time.

[@jessewest2109]

In the Realm saved my life

[@imperialrolls]

Two of my favorite contemporary voices. This is interview is fantastic. I am halfway through The Myth of Normal and have purchased copies for friends. I sincerely recommended it to everyone.

[@carolbailey1325]

I totally agree. Two of my favorite human beings.

[@odiferousmusky1299]

Can I add to your list Gabor’s son Aaron, a tenacious and principled truth teller.

[@imperialrolls]

@@odiferousmusky1299 I follow Aaron's Substack and Useful Idiots. It was mentioned that Gabor will be on Useful Idiots, which is exciting news.

[@Patricia-dl8jh]

Omg I love these two too. Lol when I saw this interview I watched it immediately. Brilliant and good people! ✌️💯

[@brucebirch2790]

Agree. A match made in heaven. Such clarity. And such efficient communicators.

[@ds4379]

Yes!! My dream of Chris hedges having Gabor Maté on his show for a much needed conversation between these titans of morality and intellect has come to fruition!

[@testtest2609]

Died and gone to heaven lol. Now if Chris brings in Michael Hudson....✨⚡

[@TheHugginMonkey625]

Just like the first 3 minutes of Dr. Maté speaking, he is just hitting right on the money. There are many things that I have thought of throughout my life. It has never made sense. But when I hear Dr. Maté speak, it feels like he's putting all pieces of the puzzle together in my head. Ever since I was a child this world has never felt like it's been made the way we're supposed to live and thrive in it.

[@thekingsdaughter7888]

I agree. As a mixed race female growing up in AZ we were too Black to be White and too White to be Black. We are still living a trauma that is overwhelming. Nothing ive tried has lessened the fealings of unworthyness in a society that pushed me to excell, then left me with nothing, and of all things blames me for the trauma. I no longer attempt to fit in, antiup, or meet the mark. A painful past life is still uppermost on my mind, and now has transitioned to my heart. I cant make friends due to the suffering I have eperienced, when letting down my guard, to accept someone on face value. I enjoy your programs because they present a truth that I can at least consider. I hope to continue listening to your broadcasts. One day, maybe I can be hopeful again. Thanks

[@GrandmaCathy]

Prayers.

[@louisefleming3117]

one day. it is possible.

[@zovalentine7305]

It is always now. Past is gone. Future is not here. Embrace the gift of the present ❤

[@kimmacdermotroe2957]

Lack of self love is devastating to the individual and to society.

[@infiniteinfiniteinfi]

So true, so very true.

[@averayugen8462]

Lack of interpersonal love you mean, some people will destroy you with THEIR self love lol!!!!

[@ince55ant]

@@averayugen8462 wouldnt it be intrapersonal love?

[@testtest2609]

@@averayugen8462 Not their self love, their self loathing masquerading as such with relentless self aggrandizing aka narcissism.

[@AprilWatters]

People are supposed to learn Self Love by BEING loved.

[@charlesmicheaux4121]

This is such an enlightening interview. In any interview where you have poetry and James Baldwin there will be the essence of magnificence. Bravo! Chris Hedges!!!

[@eljeer123]

Way too short. Reading the book now an absolutely tour de force. The book that is helping me understand my struggles and my family's history. Thank you.

[@george474747]

I could listen to these two talk for weeks. Two tremendously well read individuals with wisdom grounded in experience among the suffering of the world... It's a shame to restrict their conversation to any topic.

[@granthill1760]

More people need to see this. Thank you both.

[@dansonthetube]

Gabor's work is outstanding so that's two of my favorite people right here! Great discussion CH 😇 xo 💕

[@josephfarkas5657]

Chris Hedges! Great to have you back! And Gabor Mate to boot!

[@erikhay3519]

Two of my favorite writers and thinkers in the whole world. Love seeing them talk.

[@amranaadan1112]

Two of my favourite people in this heartless world. ❤ you both! Please keep being you❤

[@claudiaeyre2461]

“ hollowing out of the self” - Wow, I so love to hear this wise physician speak!

[@claudiaeyre2461]

Confusion of desires with basic needs- and this fuels our addictions ….How true!

[@shivathedestroyer2816]

Amazing how as children we absorb the trauma of our parents. I fully attest to this: my early childhood reflected all the "faults" that manifested in adulthood. Must read his book. Many of us should have received therapy in our early adulthood. i sure could have.

[@zovalentine7305]

The One Physician that I will listen to !!!! Gabor Mate MD PhD 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[@robynhope219]

O, you poor thing...have you not heard of Dr. Bessel van der Kolk? He actually tells you how to fix trauma. GM just likes to hear himself talk.

[@alicerose9140]

Two men I love talking, speaking for us. It triggers my tears for the joy of being understood.

[@mysticpizza02]

30 minutes with Dr Mate isn't enough.

[@zincminus3793]

Gabor’s acquired knowledge and lifelong observations are brilliantly groundbreaking and should absolutely welcomed and incorporated into our present disjointed medical systems

[@danquarterman]

Ohhhh this was way too short. We need a FULL two hour sit down convo with these two. I feel im addicted, and can't get enough :"D (just being silly)

[@therealKINDLE]

I Love Gabor. He is such a generous teacher. I'm reading his latest book now & it is ground breaking. People have no idea what this means .. that our mental state can generate our physical illnesses. And our mental state is Governed by systemic violence. It is all connected. We need an end to the middle ages. People are in so much pain & it's not necessary.

[@meatmoneymilkmonogamyequal5583]

I totally concurr!!!

[@robynhope219]

Too generous. This man is a workaholic with a sleep deficit. Sadly, his generosity is to our benefit🙁

[@dreamingrightnow1174]

This is helpful. I've never made the connection between societal (in US, etc) expectations related to individualism and the how they facility capitalism and vice versa. This discussion is shedding light on how, the neo-liberal/capitalist emphasis on the individual (as opposed a community/collective orientation) affects us interpersonally, socially and psychologically. This is really clear when you look at the way our American psyche seems to increasingly celebrate cruelty, dishonesty and vengeance. Considering this, a million examples come to mind: parenting of course, but also how we marry, divorce, support a draconian "justice" system, weapon sales, climate destruction, etc. more and more.

[@dreamingrightnow1174]

@@cosmos1927 Those sound interesting. For me, I embrace the precepts of collectivism, but I've never thought about how government by consensus could affect interpersonal and familial relationships. Thanks for the recommendations, I'll check them out.

[@Jay...777]

We see these traits play out in America's addiction to permanent war. Permanent war, requires permanent censorship & permanent propaganda. The US has intervened militarily in other countries 251 times since 1991 - Congressional Research Office info - excluding covert ops. In all its history the US has fought nearly 500 wars with 251 of them being in the last 30 years.

[@charleskesner1302]

Thanks for this. Always good to hear from Gabor Mate.

[@Mike-B.]

Trauma -- by Dr. Mate -- Classic !!!

[@anthonydileonardo8156]

Hedges and Mate are brilliant.....

[@MichelleHell]

My father died when I was 2. I don't have any memory of it, besides an emotion that's stuck with me for my entire life. It's taken me 33 years to understand why I had that pain inside of me because I couldn't relate it to a concrete memory. I never knew my dad, don't remember my dad, have little knowledge of what my dad was like, and yet it's the deepest pain inside of me that makes me regress to that moment when I was confused and felt lost and alone. I tell myself I shouldn't be sad about it, but my brain developed with the trauma so early on.

[@johnmcharst412]

I can relate. I find myself more and more interested in my very early years that I don't really remember. I'd love to know how my Mom & Dad interacted with me, as well as my older siblings. I imagine that you would have absorbed the trauma of your father's death very powerfully through the grieving of your Mother and other loved ones. Maybe asking your Mom about her feelings and reaction to the death might help you better understand it's impact on you.

[@SusanPrattDesign]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m glad you made that connection. My father was not emotionally available nor did he play with me or feel comfortable hugging me. I’m 73 now and am just connecting the dots. Is it possible for me to have a healthy relationship with a man? My father died from a brain tumor in 1988. He was 65.

[@MichelleHell]

@@SusanPrattDesign ya that is hard. I've already resigned myself to a loveless life, so I don't really have any answers for you. Sometimes "don't know" is the only answer, which is to see yourself as a spirit inhabiting somebody who went through these things that you had to witness. Sometimes I say, these things didn't happen to ME. I witnessed these things through the eyes of a human being that i was placed inside of. A wise person once told me, memories are just stories. We watch them in our heads like movie reels and like any normal person feel the emotions. I was once instructed to think this way and it can help in the moment of despair to see your memories as someone else's movie. It's strange psychology and it almost hurts to say your own painful experiences were not yours as though you're dismissing the pain. But the idea is to be free of the pain, so it does need to be dismissed, just in the right way. That way is by not seeing yourself as trapped in a movie, but as the one who is watching the movie. Then you can get an objective look when you aren't the object being hurt, and I find that it helps me work through painful memories. The only difficult part was the memory of emotion that I couldn't connect to an actual event. I couldn't play out a movie and watch objectively, it was just this raw feeling floating around my psyche. Now that I've made the connection, when I'm in pain I can tell myself that I'm watching the movie about a 2 year old who loses their father, struggles and overcomes. And since it's a movie, I can pause it whenever I want and come back later or just choose to watch other things.

[@minismith7329]

@@SusanPrattDesign Yes Susan,it's possible for you even now to have a healthy relationship with a man.My background is parallel to yours.I am your age and have been in a relationship with a kind soul for 13 years, who is 29 years my junior.We are both artists and this helps.I value my time alone and so does he.We are very connected and grateful to be in a relationship.Don't give up!

[@alohagrace2225]

So Great ! Sharing. Mahalo & Aloha.💜

[@patanderson6602]

Wonderful interview, Chris! Thank you, Dr. Maté. 💕

[@kingdomcome6078]

Two great people that I admire a lot! Greetings from Slovakia!

[@michaelbartlett6864]

Excellent interview Chris!

[@505giraffe]

Sensitive, insightful, wise and necessary discussion. Thank you.

[@derrickjohnson5219]

Thanks guys for today's podcast.I have been stressing over a car for the last month.I'm going to stop it.

[@minismith7329]

Good decision!!!!

[@jzz1019]

Doc GM, legend!

[@michaelbartlett6864]

Dr. Mate' did some great work in the Zeitgeist series of movies back during the Bush Crime Family years! I would highly recommend watching all of them here on KZbin. His son is doing good work now.

[@DiplomacyNOW]

I was just planning to email Chris and ask that he have Gabor on, but found this first! I was just re-reading my notes from the Trauma Talks, weeklong premiere of The Wisdom of Trauma film featuring Gabor, from Science and Nonduality (SAND). So fortunate for the learning and post traumatic growth from reading and listening to people like Chris Hedges, Cornel West, Richard Wolff, etc. This interview competes with The Grayzone from maybe May, 2021. The Grayzone boys had Roger Waters and Gabor Mate relating and answering questions. GRATEFUL for Hedges and Mate, all of them. At the end of that premiere week, the Mom, Ray, said something like: all / each of my children love the truth. So evident with Aaron and Daniel, whose work I've had exposure to. ✌🏽🤞🏼🙏🏼🤟🏼

[@campbellrob1919]

My abuse was daily and severe. My mind chose authenticity. Lifes still hard. I became a successful corporate executive and worked 100 hour weeks. I retired and have been flooded with past trauma since. Idle hands.

[@susanbyron6499]

I hope you can get qualified support on your healing journey, Mr. Campbell. Listening to this interview is an excellent beginning! Perhaps someday also attending one of Dr. Maté's retreats in Mexico. This present painful phase ("sitting with" your bypassed trauma - "idleness" - , seemingly overcome/sublimated by your well-rewarded work addiction/career) could be the beginning of an amazing new chapter of the last third of your life. There is an opportunity here for a glorious recovery, Rob, that could simultaneously soften, inspire and heal backwards and forwards across the generations. I believe your entire family will benefit from your burgeoning transformational experience and the ripple effect will elicit and enable a deeper, much more joyful kind of trust and love, 'a peace that transcends/surpasses understanding' (Philippians). I wish you God speed, courage, strength and victory as you like Michael begin your battle with the dragon of your past.

[@goldbrick2563]

You worked 20 hours a day in an office? 20 hours multiplied by 5 days = 100 hours per week. I often find it hard to believe when people say they work 100 hour weeks. If you have a commute of 1 hour, that means you sleep for 3 hours per day. I often think people exaggerate a wee bit.

[@bettinazwerdling9158]

One possibility is to check out the work, especially the latest work of Dr. Richard Swartz - IFS or Internal Family Systems, and the work of Bessel Van der Kolk (his book is called 'The Body Keeps The Score' and resources mentioned here). Gabor Mate's books mention both these and other resources and healing paths. He also talks about work and other addictions in his books (including the latest), and most specifically 'In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction'. Best wishes on your healing to great wholeness path.

[@alwaysamazed]

Never too late to feed your soul.

[@itzenormous]

"The mind doesn't create the world, the world creates the mind." Precisely!! 👌

[@claudiaeyre2461]

The two essential needs : attachment and authenticity!

[@adamgorelick3714]

I was excited when I saw who was a guest on this show. I love Chris Hedge's work and regard Gabor Mate as an essential teacher. I'd been hoping to see them together on Hedge's programme or somewhere else. This is a great discussion.

[@AprilWatters]

THANK YOU CHRIS HEDGES for focusing on the micro and not just the macro. Its the micro scale we need to work at in order to improve the Macro issues

[@genevievewhitley2515]

Two of my absolute favourite ppl on the entire planet - I could listen to these two talk for hours! Voices of sanity in a world that feels like it’s gone completely mad. 🤗🙌🏼

[@tedmusson5179]

That theme song brings me to a tear or two... every single time. Dr Maté and his son Aaron are among my favourite humans.

[@rawr4444]

Very much appreciate the relevant photos and book covers being displayed. Mostly listening, yet it's nice to glance at the screen to see what is being talked about at times

[@The1belal]

Another excellent discussion by a couple of my heroes. Thank you

[@tonybokon8770]

Thank you Dr. Gabor Maté and mr. Chris Hedges.

[@NdathieMucii]

You must’ve read my mind: Chris hedges and Dr. Mate in one interview.

[@charliemcpherson6299]

This has been very illuminating and helpful to me. Thank you both so much.

[@rosemendel6648]

Two great minds and hearts of liberation and kindness. From Pto. Rico, Antilles, I salute you both with love, admiration and respect. Many blessings always.

[@bespokencoaching601]

I have been waiting for this for ages - Chris Hedges and Gabor Mate ❤

[@aptorres01]

Great work guys thank you.

[@catherineg6439]

Amazing! Thank you so much! Have listened multiple times it was so good!

[@mikenorledge4110]

Chris, I really like your ability to harmonise different perspectives on various issues and points of view .. most people will come to an instant summary or conclusion regarding any topic without having done any independent investigation themselves .. they skim and repeat what Big Media have just informed them

[@Stop-and-listen]

Medical schools today are run by catastrophic medicine. Dr. Mate makes a great point about the great contradiction of medical education; it is driven by profit.

[@agneskaszner8535]

Profit indeed! WHen Dr Mate says, there is a major gap between the body of science and what gets taught at med schools, I couldn't help thinking of the enormous gap between the existing climate science and the direction the gov'ts of the world are taking on the climate crisis.

[@maryleehillenbrand2152]

Thank you so much for making this interview possible. It’s as though I have opened a treasure chest full of truths and common sense A priceless guide for mind body and soul health. Dr Mate and Chris Hedges May God’s blessings be with you as you continue your healing Mission

[@M.STAR.MEDIA1]

I love Dr Mate, thank you for such insightful work. I study Psychology on the side and I just love this!

[@petersimon1551]

On expressing anger. Anger can be expressed in different ways. Sometimes people are not even aware of they own anger untill they have drove themselves into a rage. If I am able to catch my emotion at it's early developing stage and just signal my disapproval to the other person with saying, "I am angry" or "this makes me angry" in a peaceful way, it let's me deal with my own fear in a controlled way that allows me to come up with a better solution to the situation.

[@oscarrobert4725]

Chris is dealing with amazing subjects !

[@maine420247]

Thank you both for showing us the way to live a different and better way. I look up to both of you! Peace and love to both of you and ur homes.... ✌️😏

[@cheri238]

I love Dr. Gabor's books. Thank you, again Chris for having him on with this discussion. I will have to see if I can find him on KZbin. Subsequently, I have. The body and mind does have a connection for illness. The human body is fascinating to learn about. All the connections from our heart, arteries, our brain, the neurons, the transmitters, energies, emotions, what an extradinary vessel the body is. It has been a journey to want to understand these things. Definitely racism, religious divisions, politics, plus unnecessary wars that have affected all in this world and create more trauma. Reverence to the both of you .(Keep teaching.) We need to hear these things and read about them now more than ever.Thankfully, I am learning to write better on these imperfect cellphones. Futhermore, if I may add, Dr. McGilchrist books and his lectures with others in these fields, "The Master and His Emissary," The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World, "The Matter With Things," Our Brains and Our Delusions and the Unmaking of the World. The last one is, "The Redbook," Libra Novus, C. G. Jung, edited and with an Introduction by Sonu Shamdasani.

[@MS-bq7dt]

Great interview! Thank you.

[@GeneralAblon]

As someone with autism, the discontinuity between who I am, and how I portray myself even to those closest to me, has definitely lead to some major internal tension, which in turn led to a bunch of different psychological issues. The part about attachment vs. authenticity, was thus really interesting to me, and made me seriously question some things from my past and present. Fascinating discussion, thank you very much for that!

[@shne388]

Absolutely wonderful and extremely insightful interview! Thank you Chris and Gabor! ❤

[@marlbankian]

Excellent food for thought !

[@spiceinsights]

Excellent discussion

[@good-carma]

Well done Chris. Your question revealed angles I didn’t hear in other interviews of Gabor.

[@claudiaeyre2461]

Wow, what a truly strong concept of “traumatic programming.”!

[@craigwilson1144]

This interview on trauma was extremely interesting and educational Chris and Dr. Gabor Mate.

[@Burtifly]

What an amazingly insightful human being. Thank you both. I just sit hear listening, and thinking to myself, what seems inately, or intuitively commonsensical to me, is lost on the many. Fantastic interview.

[@leiapeison]

this is phenomenal!

[@youarenaturewellness]

What a great interview, and yes ultimately our error as human beings was separating ourselves from nature. This is the root of all of our problems now.

[@testtest2609]

"The personality traits we come to believe are us and perhaps even take pride in actually bear the scars of where we lost connection to ourselves." - Chris Hedges' closing with a quote from Gabor Mate

[@Zara-um1nx]

Thank you so much

[@hilohahoma1547]

Chris's opening monolog describes america from day one.

[@kiskakuznetsova503]

THANK YOU!

[@jorgesotirios1284]

Insightful analysis melding psychological insights with contemporary capitalist society. Many echoes of Herbert Marcuse's One Dimensional Man, what Marcuse called 'the tyranny of false needs".

[@62Cristoforo]

These are two of the most pertinent and relevant people I’m aware of today, and to hear them together is fantastic. Their publicists know their stuff

[@smjbr79]

Powerful stuff. Thank you

[@bcadams75]

That was deep about the gingerbread house. Much appreciated for sharing that Chris

[@TheDiveDawg]

My trauma is caused by the abrupt ending to this wonderful interview.

[@minismith7329]

😂Understand!

[@philj5518]

With the greatest respect to Dr Gabor and the great work he has done, it's important to review the work of Bert Hellinger and Family Constellation. Peace

[@user-cd2ut4fx1m]

Love Chris H

[@jamisony]

So many good points about our way of living. Thanks

[@westleymanc]

Informative, made me reflect 😔 👌 🙂

[@cargotrailerkenny]

thanks Chris for interviewing Gabor Mate. The hairs on my neck stood up when I heard about rheumatoid arthritis connection to trauma. I was diagnosed with it at the age of 12 and it stands to reason that that it could have been caused by the stress of living with an abusive father and also watching older siblings be abused around me. It helped me understand the possible causes of addictions I later dealt with in my life.

[@christinesmith1499]

Great broadcast

[@adrian_V99]

Thank goodness for doctors like Dr. Mate'- A true professional.

[@AprilWatters]

The WORST psych problem we have in the US is what John Bradshaw called bonding to the abuser. People who learn as children to defend their abuser (parent) at their own expense. People are literally put into a health debt they have a hell of a time getting out of. Being in Debt is what the US Gov wants people to be in

[@joelhenderson9393]

Boy this hits me. I have had abandonment issues. They lead to a fear of failure and all sorts of behavioral issues.

[@claudesledge5545]

The Real News Network/Chris Hedges...this is an amazing topic of discussion that was presented by Dr.Bessel Van Der Kolk. A perfect case against Imperialism.

[@incognito3620]

This is a great book . Read it if you have the courage.

[@SH-jg5zq]

Great guest!

[@lynneturner3704]

Thank God/dess, Gabor gets it . I am survivor of considerable trauma and have come to the same conclusion, FYI vagus nerve exercises work well for overcoming trauma and are very simple to do.

[@jkishhabi]

I feel so much truth in Dr. Mate's words. I once stood up in Church youth group to argue that the "Sins of the father's will be upon their son's unto the 10th generation ," was not what my Sunday School teacher held it to be. He thought it meant that it was just and right for God and society to punish the children of people for their sins. I argued that it was clearly an observation that stress caused by things we do that harm ourselves and others will be passed down as intergenerational trauma. And that it was advice to us to nurture and help one another to heal from trauma and especially to support and heal the children of people who have been rejected or ostracized from society. The response was that I as a mere girl should just accept that the Elders had already translated the meaning of scripture and that it was not my place to question or attempt to understand it differently. 🤔 This is why I left those Churches and dogmatic religious institutions long ago.

[@nataliewilliams9741]

The truth Gabor reveals is profound. Trauma is passed down through generations. This could explain why most of us feel that all families are dysfunctional to some degree. They are.