The Chronicles of Chris-Chan: Goatee B Gone

[@OfficerFlatFoot]

he's not even shaving he's literally scraping the blade on his face.

[@batman3210]

I'm glad he didn't hurt himself.

[@Brandonhayhew]

He should have kept the beard growing

[@Doctorpoopvevo]

Thats basically what shaving is

[@Hellroxas]

Fucking hell, the force he uses to make the razor head keep popping off is ridiculous. He doesn't even flinch shaving dry. I would hate to see his skin the next day all red and shit.

[@cqmorrell]

He's probably got a much higher pain tolerance than normal. Look at the Unclit 2.0, that would have most people in agony but it was only a mere annoyance to him.

[@PrincessGalaxia9]

​@@cqmorrell 2-... 2.0???

[@JarvisBaileyVA]

I have to assume that Chris was so unwashed that the grease on his face made it easier for him to dry shave like that without leaving his chin looking like a crime scene. But still why on god's earth would you do that in your room? All that hair on your bed, clothes and floor.

[@wiggx018]

His room was already a disaster its not like a little facial hair on the floor was gonna make it any worse

[@JarvisBaileyVA]

@@wiggx018 fair I forgot that part

[@ellisthehillbillyman8881]

That’s probably the least worrying thing on his bed

[@leemurrison4222]

I miss the old Chris Chan, Straight for women Chris Chan, Drawing nothing but Sonichu Chris Chan, The CHAD shaving Chris Chan...

[@RsRj-qd2cg]

He's straight for women. Just not the women you'd think.

[@OrgusDin]

@@RsRj-qd2cg even then it's not really straight a bit bent

[@rikmcdik6662]

I hate the new Chris Chan Not a dude Chris Chan Has seen Barb nude Chris Chan All on the news Chris Chan

[@Postaldude__]

I even had the red and blue striped shirt i thought i was chris chan

[@weltschmerz333]

@@OrgusDin underrated comment

[@TheEye114]

RAZOR FUCKING BURN AAAAAAAAA IT HURTS TO JUST WATCH

[@darthbriboy]

Shemp Shump I know right I feel so bad for him in this video. It's like Chris don't do it man, THE RAZOR BURN!!!!

[@mordredt02]

An explanation: Around the time of this video (2009), Chris-chan was dealing with a troll known as Liquid Chris. Liquid claimed to be the real honest to GodJesus Christian Weston Chandler and thus the true creator and rightful owner of the Sonichu franchise. Desperate to save his soon to be worth millions gold mine, Chris engaged in various tactics to prove his identity. One of which was shaving the patch of hair resembling a goatee he had grown, as it had been cited as evidence of his being an imposter. As many a Star Trek fan can tell you, a clean shaven individual suddenly sporting a goatee is a sure sign you're dealing with an evil counterpart, possibly from an alternate universe. Why does he shave in his bedroom minus shaving cream (or even soap and water) while listening to generic Jesus music? The world may never know.

[@MATRIX6162]

Morgan Miller the Jesus music is from another video, I think someone just edited it in

[@pinklemonegg]

the jesus music is to appeal to his gal pal at the time who noted a special interest in jesus music

[@rikmcdik6662]

Dry shaving isn’t always bad, but he’s really putting some pressure and speed on those swipes. I thought he was going to cut his neck open when he went below the chin lmfaoo

[@cletusawreetus-awrightus2799]

"It's not even sharp and he's actually making progress" to quote a wise man

[@Deebosamuel19]

Great Aqua Teen reference. Carls had skin cut off with a butter knife and torn off like a post it note by a giant tree. That’s a real trooper

[@McnamaraMissedMe]

Bro I'm cooked rn but if you ever see this I want you to know you made me laugh. God Bless.

[@SanAntonioJoker]

absolute m a d m a n

[@hatchethank]

*MAD LAD*

[@thisguyyoudontknow4653]

A huge mother lover!

[@PhantomEagle..]

I dry shave too but with a straight razor, I respect Chris for this

[@LumosX]

Remember how in "First Blood" Rambo went apeshit when they tried forcing him to shave dry? Here's Chris, doing it to himself of his own free will, and with a shitty cartridge razor, too. Of all the things I've seen about Chris, this somehow ends up being the most stupefying.

[@jazzwebster9851]

So is Chris Chan tougher than Rambo?

[@LumosX]

@@jazzwebster9851 Indubitably.

[@jjedi686]

High functioning my ass..

[@RsRj-qd2cg]

This video is rated "C" for Cursed.

[@rwmovies]

the music makes it even more sadder

[@D-Nova]

I'm not so much impressed by him not bleeding or showing pain (because let's be honest... Chris is like a Slowpoke and it probably took several minutes for his brain to even register the damage) than I am disgusted by the fact that he is doing the shaving in his bedroom. But I guess, if dry shaving like that doesn't bother you, a handful of bristly hairs in your bed won't bother you either.

[@jsjrhehhehehdhrhrhrhuruuru914]

Nothing bothers this shit stain. Lol

[@ImageLimestone]

I've been thinking about this comment for years

[@imnotabeetleiswear6549]

Ladies, he's single

[@ProjectTony]

Barb: Nice

[@CapitanJorge24]

girlfriend-free*

[@NotFernando]

Did my man really just dry shave

[@thegreatmightyd]

*screaming internally*

[@Infinityxxxxxx]

Alpha af.

[@ForwardSynthesis]

They don't call him Chris Chad for nothing.

[@LoudSodaCaleb]

This is by far the most painful video to watch.

[@poweralpha2011]

once I accidentally passed the blade through a part that did not wet or foam, basically my beard got stuck in the blade and the pain is comparable to that I set fire to you in that area

[@jillhopkins4842]

Gillette, The Worst Man Chan Be.

[@RsRj-qd2cg]

Classic Ian Brandon Anderson video right here.

[@skyalert32]

How tf isn't he bleeding? I use shaving cream and I still manage to cut my face every time without fail?

[@Khazmaru]

Because you don't have the powers of a half-sonichu. Or...Chris is protected by all the grease he has in his face.

[@Top10Dylan]

Because Chris Chan is an alpha male with more testosterone than you.

[@nunu_beee]

I got razor burn from watching this video

[@wex9948]

Chris doesn't evenuse shaving cream.

[@LtEllenRiplley]

or water

[@matthieufernandez6871]

Or a sink. All that hair on his bed... disgusting.

[@DEMONX62]

wezslee hes a fuckin manly man

[@cabbagehead3893]

I have a lot of nostalgia for "Lift Up Your Eyes". ...Well, I did, until I started associating it with Chris-Chan shaving.

[@rikmcdik6662]

Bro he detached the head of the razor three times from the force

[@JAKBOT3000]

This is the craziest thing he has ever done

[@meanmr.mustard572]

I remember watching this video back in the day and just cringing. You ever dry shaved? It sucks. I always thought he should have filmed this in the bathroom, at least he would have had access to water. Not saying water is as good as shaving cream, but at least there would have been something to moisten his face with.

[@mattchamp1541]

Also water to remove the hair stuck in the blades

[@ProjectTony]

Thought he would have at least used some Fanta

[@SSJVegeta2012]

How tf is he not bleeding without no shaving cream, water, or at least rubbing alcohol? Also he's leaving all that unwanted hair on the floor gross.

[@2prize]

This is giving cartel energy

[@Postaldude__]

I will never be able to hear this song again without thinking about this video

[@BaziGames]

Sponsored by dollar shave club

[@joeyjoestar472]

The absolute UNIT

[@xehP]

What's hard for me to grasp is that this is/was a 27 year old man, going on 28. it's scary how close that is to my age.

[@alexandrumarin8981]

I came here from seeing a Chris Chan documentary. This is cursed! O my lord it hurts to even watch. This man is not human

[@power-upstudios794]

How is he not bleeding?

[@doleluv01]

He should've brought the goatee back he looks better with it

[@MikeJr9284]

Doesn’t Chris know that he needs to apply shaving cream on his face before he start shaving? I’m surprised he’s not bleeding.

[@GabagoolGang]

I taught myself how to shave my face at 13 and I never ever did it as poorly as this lmao

[@annieapple8974]

This makes me sweat.

[@awesomedude_3]

i always though chris’ vest was a backpack

[@Fluffyfauchs]

That goatee WILL grow back

[@ShaddySoldier]

jesus fucking christ

[@kyleager6417]

Based

[@ultra6671]

Still waiting for that goatee to grow back.

[@NikkiWrightVGM]

Chris can stand dragging a dry razor across his face but cant stand a necklace touching the back of his neck?

[@brotherardash1960]

What was scraping his lopsided flavor saver goatee supposed to prove? His dedication to his rightful empire of derpiness?

[@Brandonhayhew]

He should have kept his beard growing

[@CapitanJorge24]

@@Brandonhayhew it would have had looked good on him at least a bit better

[@ITGOES80808]

I love how Chris takes off the vest (which isn’t even close to his hair) to not get hair on it but leaves the shirt on.

[@butterspike680]

That wasn't the reason he took it off

[@ITGOES80808]

@@butterspike680 bro likes his own comments 💀💀

[@binski635]

He did this for us. Sonichu bless his soul. TWU

[@jsjrhehhehehdhrhrhrhuruuru914]

This is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen

[@mesadrums375]

This was all just prep for the contest… If he said they have to dry shave just like him, all the trolls would have lost the contest.

[@EdouardPicard0224]

Man this shit must fucking hurt

[@ProjectTony]

Who the fuck shaves going side to side?!

[@thebrokentable7554]

I tried this and now I have a chin similar to jack mcbrayers

[@oXDestroXo]

ahhhhhhh noooo oh godddddddddd

[@dinocencia3483]

SpongeBob: Hey, how'd you do that without shaving cream?

[@ThatThingInYourEye]

I've seen gore videos that are easier to watch than this

[@djrkcryt2568]

Even wit shaving cream i be gettin cut but chris can do it widdout cream and not get cut

[@NickGore-rf2dd]

Why did he choose this music

[@HnKYuda]

WHO THE FUCK SHAVES SIDEWAYS???

[@TRILLANORTH]

didnt it hurt????w

[@deejkdeejk]

Jesus H CHRIST

[@untilitookanarrow]

OW FUCK

[@RsRj-qd2cg]

This ain't Christian.